June 24, 2025 • 22 mins
Rachel Perry tackles one of the biggest confidence killers in network marketing: the comparison trap. She shares personal experiences and reveals why comparison hits differently in direct sales, plus gives you a practical 5-step plan to break free and build unshakeable confidence.
In this episode you'll discover:
Why comparison is so brutal in network marketing - from public rankings to social media highlight reels, Rachel explains the unique challenges direct sellers face that other industries don't.
The hidden costs stealing your success - including lost momentum, strategy hopping, desperate energy, and playing small.
Rachel's 5-step "Comparison Detox" plan - practical steps you can take this week to protect your mental space and refocus on your own journey.
Powerful mindset shifts that transform comparison from a confidence killer into fuel for growth.
An identity check to help you separate your worth from your business results.
Key Strategies Rachel Shares:
✨ The Social Media Audit: How to identify and handle content that triggers comparison
✨ Creating Your Own Success Metrics: Moving beyond company rankings to measure what matters
✨ Mental Reframes: Specific language swaps to shift from scarcity to abundance thinking
✨ The Authenticity Factor: Why showing up real gives others permission to do the same
This Week's Challenge:
- Pick one person whose success usually triggers your comparison spiral
- Don't unfollow them, but you can mute/hide their posts from your feed
- Genuinely celebrate their next win - comment encouragingly or send a supportive message
- Practice the scarcity-to-abundance shift in real-time
Key Takeaways
- Comparison is especially brutal in network marketing because success feels public
- You're comparing your behind-the-scenes reality to others' highlight reels
- Everyone has different timelines, resources, and circumstances
- Authenticity gives others permission to be real too
- Your journey and timeline are uniquely yours - stop apologizing for not being further along
Connect with Rachel Perry
- Instagram: Join Rachel between episodes for ongoing support and encouragement
- Free Resource: DM "PODCAST" to receive the free 90-Day Action Planner
- Promise: No spam, no weird sales messages - just genuine connection and valuable resources
Episode Quote
"When you show up authentically, you give other people permission to do the same, and suddenly everyone's playing a different game."
This episode is perfect for direct sellers struggling with confidence, comparison, and finding their unique path to success in network marketing.
Hang out with me more!
Send me the message PODCAST over on Instagram at @rachelaperry and I’ll send you my "Parties-Optional Profit Plan!"
For Additional Resources for Direct Sellers:
www.rachelaperry.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast
for direct sellers who are readyto get uncomfortable, build
their business and grow a teamwhile changing the face of the
direct sales industry.
I'm your host, rachel Perry.
Join me as we get real and talkabout all the things you need
to kick some serious directsales booty, from overcoming
(00:26):
limiting beliefs to sharing theexact strategies you need to
attract the right people whobecome customers and beg to join
your team.
I've got you covered, girl.
I'm going to be your new BFFwhen it comes to balancing life
and kids while building yourdirect sales business with poise
, peace of mind and, of course,a good set of fake eyelashes.
Let's get started.
(00:48):
Hello, my friends, welcome backto another episode of the
Direct Sellers Podcast.
I'm your host, rachel Perry, andtoday we're talking about
something that's probably eatingaway at your confidence more
than you realize, and that isthe comparison trap.
(01:09):
Listen, I know that you'veheard about, you know comparison
being the thief of joy.
We've all heard that.
I've shared that before.
But in network marketing, Ithink it hits a little bit
different because, unlike otherindustries where your success or
lack of success might beprivate, in network marketing
(01:29):
everything feels public.
Right, your rank is visible.
People are posting you know allthese things about how they can
do all.
They take all these trips anddo all these things.
Your upline is alwayscelebrating someone else's
promotion in the team chat,right?
Well, maybe you're still tryingto figure out how to get your
(01:49):
sales this month, right?
So today we're going to talkabout why comparison is so
brutal in this industry, how tospot it when you're in the trap
and, most importantly, how touse other people's success as
fuel instead of letting itdestroy your confidence.
And listen, I've been there Iconstantly, and not just in
network marketing.
(02:10):
But you know, when you hearsomeone else's success, it's so
easy If you're not feelingsuccess at that moment, if
you're not feeling like you arein a good space wherever whether
it be business or personal lifeit's easy to fall into that
comparison trap because it hitslike in that pain point right
(02:30):
when you see someone else havinggreat success.
Now, some people struggle withit more than others.
But we're going to start todaywith why comparison hits so much
harder in network marketingthan in traditional businesses.
So, like I mentioned before,everything feels public right In
a regular job.
You don't know exactly whatyour coworker makes or how many
(02:51):
sales they closed last month.
But in network marketing yourrank really is often displayed.
So your company might publishtop earner lists, which feels
really good when you're on thatlist because, hello right, I
love to be on those lists.
But your upline, or what Ishould say here, is when your
(03:11):
upline celebrates other people'ssuccess on team calls as they
should, it can feel reallydefeating when you're not on
that list.
I remember feeling so muchexcitement and I was so proud
when I got the recognition.
But when I didn't get therecognition I felt like that
spoke volumes more to me.
(03:33):
Not that anyone else wasspeaking those volumes, but I
took it to mean something andI'm very much a words of
affirmation person.
So recognition was big for meand that's why I think I was so
successful, because that waswhat motivated me.
But I will say, you know, andI've shared this before, when it
(03:53):
comes to dealing withrecruiting and building a team,
that was not my strength and Ifelt very discouraged every time
other people were celebratedand I couldn't figure out why I
couldn't do it.
What was I doing wrong?
So I don't know if you relateto that at all, but I'm just
saying girl, listen, I get you.
(04:14):
I think the other issue is thatyou know we talk about social
media being the highlight reel,right, like you see all your
friends and everyone postinglike about their kids and about
whatever, and it really is ahighlight reel.
We don't see people's problems.
People don't post theirproblems, but it's the same, but
(04:35):
magnified, I think, withnetwork marketing, because you
may see that someone earnedtheir car this month or that
they earned their trip or youknow they they are being like
shared all across your teambecause on TikTok they made
$20,000 in sales last month.
But the thing is is you're notseeing the months where they
(04:56):
made $500 or the months wherethey didn't even make their
sales goal.
We see the luxury car bonus, wesee the trip bonus, we see how
they're excelling, selling crazythings on TikTok and making
insane amount of money on TikTok.
You don't see the anxiety theyhave about maintaining that rank
(05:16):
.
You don't see how much timethey worked away from their
family to get that sales goal.
You don't see any of that.
We see team growth and how manypeople you know they have on
their team, how many peoplethey're recruiting, but you
don't see how many people aren'tworking that month, or how many
(05:37):
people have quit.
We see all the positive,amazing things, but we don't see
the other part of it and thereis another part of it, right.
Also, I think there's a weirdculture in network marketing
where success stories becomerecruiting tools.
You know what I mean.
So everyone's incentivized tomake their journey look easier
(05:59):
and faster and more glamorousthan it actually was because
you're recruiting.
So it might be like I replacedmy corporate income in six
months, right?
Or maybe you can't say thatbecause of the rules, but you
know what I mean.
We tend to make things sound somuch better than it was really
hard work.
I worked my butt off for 18months.
I had six terrible months whereI wanted to quit and slowly I
(06:25):
built something sustainable.
Right, that's the truth.
But we don't hear that.
And here's what's really messingwith your head.
You're comparing your behindthe scenes, your behind the
scenes, your low points toeveryone else's highlight reel.
But you're doing it in anindustry where success is
supposed to be duplicatable,right?
(06:46):
So when you see someonecrushing it and you're not, you
start wondering what's wrongwith you?
Why isn't it working for youthe same way?
So let's talk about what thiscomparison trap is actually
costing you.
First, it's stealing yourmomentum, my friend.
Instead of focusing on yournext customer, or your next post
, or your next conversation, oryou know what you're going to,
(07:09):
who you're going to talk to nextor who's going to your team,
you're scrolling through socialmedia getting depressed about
what you're not accomplishing.
You're spending mental energyon other people's businesses
instead of building your own.
Secondly, it's making youchange strategies constantly,
and I am so guilty of those.
You guys, right?
(07:30):
You see someone else havingsuccess with Instagram reels,
for example, or Facebook groups,and so you abandon the strategy
that you're using that wasstarting to work for you,
because you see someone elsedoing it and you're like, okay,
I need to do what they're doing.
Or you see someone talkingabout their morning routine, so
you completely overhaul yours,even though it was completely
(07:52):
fine.
You're always, it's like you'realways chasing someone else's
blueprint instead of developingyour own, and I am so guilty of
this.
I think it's also part of mypersonality to just want new
things, so I'm like, oh, this isworking, let's try this instead
of sticking with the same old,same old, because it gets boring
.
Right, it gets boring and it'snot fun, and I like to have fun,
(08:14):
but the reality is you're goingto find success doing the same
thing over and over again.
I mean assuming it's not broken, okay, third, the third reason,
I think, or the third exampleof how this is hurting you, is
it's creating this weird energythat people can feel.
(08:36):
So when you're consumed withwhat everyone else is doing,
you're not fully present in yourown business or your own life.
Your content feels forced, yourconversations feel desperate.
Have you ever felt that way?
Like you show up feeling sodesperate, like it's that
desperation energy People cansense.
When you're coming from a placeof lack, y'all they can sense.
(08:58):
If you're coming from a placeof lack instead of abundance,
they may not be able toverbalize that, but it's like
that.
It's like that desperationenergy.
I think I've talked about thisbefore.
I just wanted a boyfriend sobadly and I didn't have one at
the time and I really think Iwas desperate.
I was putting off desperateenergy, right, none of us want
(09:20):
to be putting that out there.
And here's the thing this mightbe the worst piece of it all
Like this is what comparison isdoing to you.
It's making you smaller.
You're not sharing your winsbecause they don't seem big
enough compared to what you'reseeing online.
You're not sharing your winsbecause they don't seem big
enough compared to what you'reseeing online.
You're not stepping intoleadership because you don't
feel qualified compared to thatperson who seems to have it all
(09:40):
figured out.
Am I right?
Do you feel me?
Do you feel me?
Do you?
Are you resonating with this?
Because here's the thing Iwould.
I would bet that you probablydo resonate with that, okay, but
here's what we're going to do.
We're going to break free fromthis, okay.
So let's, let me give you some,some practical steps, and I am
going to do the same, okay.
(10:02):
So the first step, I think, islet's really audit what we are
thinking, what we are consuming,what is going in right?
So, for a week, pay attentionto how you feel after consuming
certain content.
So maybe it's on Instagram, ormaybe it's on Facebook, or maybe
it's on TikTok, and I want youto pay attention to how specific
(10:26):
people and posts are making youfeel.
So, if there's a person onthere who always makes you feel
behind or makes you feel just,you can't even describe how it
makes you feel, but it's not agood feeling.
I want you to unfollow or mutethem or hide them for now.
This isn't forever, but youneed to protect your mental
space while you're building yourconfidence and y'all.
(10:48):
I have done this to severalpeople.
I have muted them because whenI see their posts, it makes me
feel just not a good thing.
I can't even describe it.
Sometimes Maybe it's jealousy,sometimes Maybe it's like this
panic, because I don't feel likeI'm caught up.
Whatever it is, it's not good.
So I'm gonna have you mute them, unfollow them, whatever.
(11:09):
We don't need to get alldramatic and unfollow.
You can literally just hidethem.
That's on Instagram I'm notsure about what the terminology
is for Facebook.
So that's the first step.
Second step is I want you tocreate your own success metrics.
Okay, so, yes, your companymeasures your success from your
rank, your volume, your teamsize, your sales.
(11:31):
But what are your metrics?
Maybe it's having onemeaningful conversation a day,
or maybe it's helping onecustomer solve a problem.
Maybe it's showing upconsistently for 30 days, and
let's get really specific onwhat that means.
What is consistent for you?
Okay, define your success in away that's within your control,
(11:53):
not somebody else's.
Okay, step three girl, you'regoing to celebrate your behind
the scenes wins.
Okay, maybe we need to have aparty You're going to.
You're going to celebrate thelittle things Like did you have
a tough conversation with a teammember?
That is leadership, my friend.
Did you post consistently, evenwhen you didn't feel like it?
(12:14):
Hi, that's discipline.
Did you learn something newabout your product?
That's growth.
Did you listen to a podcastlike this one that helped you
with your mindset?
That's personal growth.
And most of your real wins, myfriend, happen in private.
They don't happen in stories onInstagram.
(12:35):
They don't happen on a post onTikTok or on a video on TikTok
okay.
They happen behind the scenes,where nobody else sees them and
you don't recognize them becauseyou're so focused on what
everybody else is doing.
Focused on what everybody elseis doing.
(12:56):
Okay.
Next step Remember thateveryone's timeline is different
.
Everyone has a.
Your journey is not her journey.
Okay.
The person who replaced herincome in six months, she may
have had 20 years of salesexperience, a huge network from
her previous company orfinancial resources that allowed
her to invest differently thanyou can, company or financial
resources that allowed her toinvest differently than you can.
(13:16):
Her timeline is not yourtimeline and that is okay.
Okay, and the last step, frombreaking free from this
comparison trap is to usecomparison as data, not as
judgment.
So, when you see someone doingreally well, instead of thinking
why can't that happen to me,I'm literally doing everything
I'm supposed to do.
Why am I not the one that'sgetting the results that she is,
(13:37):
instead ask what can I learnhere?
Maybe they've been consistentwith their content, maybe
they're really good at follow-up, maybe they've gotten really
clear on their target audience.
Whatever it is, I want you totake the lesson, but not the
judgment.
No more self-judgment.
Okay.
So let me just recap how you'regoing to break free from this
(13:59):
comparison trap.
Let's call it the comparisondetox.
Step one is audit your inputs.
Step two is create your ownsuccess metrics.
Step three is celebrate yourbehind-the-scenes wins.
Step four is remember thatbehind the scenes wins.
Step four is remember thateveryone's timeline is different
.
And step five is use thecomparison.
(14:20):
Use the ad information and Idon't even want to use the word
comparison.
Use that information as data,not as self judgment.
Okay, so, let's, let's talk.
Let me give you some practicaltips, ways that you can do this.
Okay, so the next time you seesomeone's success and you feel
(14:40):
that familiar sting ofcomparison, I want you to
practice this mental flip.
So, instead of saying, man,they are so lucky.
Instead say you know what?
If they can do it, so can I.
Or if you're thinking I'llnever be that successful, I will
never have a team like her, Iwill never be director level, I
(15:02):
will never Instead, say I'm onmy own journey, I'm on my own
journey.
That might not be my journey,I'm on my own journey Instead of
what's wrong with me.
Instead, try what can I learnfrom this?
And here's a big one.
This is big y'all.
(15:22):
I want you to start rooting forother people's success genuinely
.
I know it soundscounterintuitive, but when you
can genuinely celebrate someoneelse's win, it shifts your
energy from that scarcity toabundance.
It tells your brain thatsuccess is possible and it's
available.
And that can be hard.
(15:44):
We tend to fall into that sortof the comparison trap, for lack
of a better term, and that'swhen we start getting really
down ourselves.
But what if, instead, you'relike oh my gosh, I'm so excited
for her.
Even if you don't feel it, sayit out loud.
Say it out loud because it willhelp.
Also, remember that someoneelse's success doesn't diminish
(16:05):
yours.
There isn't a limited amount ofsuccess in the world?
Seriously, there's not.
It's not like well, she rankedup.
Therefore, I don't thinkthere's going to be any left for
me.
No, their win does not equalyour loss, sister.
The market is big enough forall of us to thrive.
I feel like I am on like I'mpreaching from a pulpit today,
(16:26):
like I'm getting really intothis.
I'm sure you can tell I hopethat I don't know.
Maybe you can't, I don't knowbut I'm feeling like really
pumped up over this Because Ithink that we just struggle.
So many of us struggle withthis at different times, maybe
not all the time, but this isreally important.
So, listen, I want you to startsharing your own journey more
(16:46):
authentically.
Someone told me the other daythat authenticity is I don't, I
don't really understand thissort of language but the
frequency of authenticity ishigher than the frequency of
love.
I don't really know what thatmeans, but my friend told me
that and I was like that'sinteresting.
But basically, authenticity isimportant.
(17:09):
Okay, not just the wins, thereal stuff, the hard days, the
lessons, the growth.
When you show up authentically,you give other people
permission to do the same andsuddenly everyone's playing a
different game.
Do you hear me on that.
When you show up authentically,you are giving other people a
(17:32):
permission to do the same, andthat's powerful.
So, before we wrap up, I dowant to do a quick identity
check with you, so I want you toanswer these questions.
Okay, are you defining yourselfby your rank?
I think that is one of thebiggest issues I see with my
(17:53):
students is that their rankdefines who they are, and I'm
constantly, you know,encouraging them and reminding
them that their rank does notdefine who they are.
That's not who they are, it'sjust a thing.
Okay, there's no emotionconnected to that, there's no
meaning.
It's just a thing, okay.
(18:13):
Hey, are you defining yourselfby how much you make?
Are you defining yourself byhow you compare to others in
your company?
Because here's the truth youare not your business results.
You're a whole person withvalue that exists, completely
(18:35):
separate from your networkmarketing success.
Your worth isn't determined bywhether you hit your goals this
month or whether you recruitfive more people in your
downline.
No, that doesn't mean anything.
Okay, your worth.
You are worthy just because youexist and when you remember that
, comparison loses its powerover you because you're not
(18:58):
competing with anyone.
You're just becoming the bestversion of yourself and when you
can give that reality check toyourself.
When you do that, it reallydoes take away the power.
It's like fear, right?
I always want my kids or shame.
I always encourage my kids toshare the thing that they're
thinking, that they don't wantto because they feel embarrassed
(19:21):
or they feel ashamed or theyfeel like they shouldn't be
thinking that because, chancesare, when you speak it out loud,
it takes away the power, right?
It's fear.
When you speak it out loud,that power is gone because
you're acknowledging it, we'renot hiding it, and it's the same
for comparison.
So your challenge for this weekokay, I want you to pick one
(19:43):
person whose success usuallytriggers your comparison spiral
and now, instead of unfollowingthem, I want you to genuinely
celebrate their next win.
You can hide them or meet them,but don't don't unfollow.
But I just want you to reallybe genuine in celebrating their
(20:03):
next win.
So maybe it's in your Facebookgroup.
So maybe maybe it's in the teamFacebook group.
You don't have to follow themon social, but just in the group
.
If you see that your upline isshouting someone out, I want you
to genuinely celebrate theirnext win.
Comment something encouraging,send them a message.
I want you to practice shiftingfrom scarcity to abundance.
(20:26):
Okay, and, like I said, you canhide them or mute them on, you
know, on your feed, but in theFacebook group, celebrate that
person and I want you to reallybe genuine about it.
I want you to not fall intothat trap that we just talked
about.
Instead, I want you to findthat joy for them.
(20:48):
We're gonna practice that shiftfrom scarcity to abundance and
remember my friend, my beautiful, beautiful friend.
Your journey is your journey,your timeline is yours, your
version of success is yours.
So stop apologizing for notbeing further along and start
celebrating how far you've come.
(21:10):
My friends, I adore you.
I appreciate you listening tothis.
I just adore you and I amrooting for you and I'm so
excited for you to step out ofthis trap.
All right, listen until nextweek, take care.
That's it for this episode ofthe direct sellers podcast, but
(21:34):
our fun doesn't have to end now.
You'll catch me hanging outover on Instagram between
episodes and I'd love for you tojoin me.
So hop into my DMs.
I promise you're not gettingany hate girl messages and I
promise I'm not going to beasking you to weirdly buy
anything.
Send me the message podcast soI can send you my free 90 day
action planner, because whodoesn't love a good template?
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast
for direct sellers who are readyto get uncomfortable, build
their business and grow a teamwhile changing the face of the
direct sales industry.
I'm your host, rachel Perry.
Join me as we get real and talkabout all the things you need
to kick some serious directsales booty, from overcoming
(00:26):
limiting beliefs to sharing theexact strategies you need to
attract the right people whobecome customers and beg to join
your team.
I've got you covered, girl.
I'm going to be your new BFFwhen it comes to balancing life
and kids while building yourdirect sales business with poise
, peace of mind and, of course,a good set of fake eyelashes.
Let's get started.
(00:48):
Hello, my friends, welcome backto another episode of the
Direct Sellers Podcast.
I'm your host, rachel Perry, andtoday we're talking about
something that's probably eatingaway at your confidence more
than you realize, and that isthe comparison trap.
(01:09):
Listen, I know that you'veheard about, you know comparison
being the thief of joy.
We've all heard that.
I've shared that before.
But in network marketing, Ithink it hits a little bit
different because, unlike otherindustries where your success or
lack of success might beprivate, in network marketing
(01:29):
everything feels public.
Right, your rank is visible.
People are posting you know allthese things about how they can
do all.
They take all these trips anddo all these things.
Your upline is alwayscelebrating someone else's
promotion in the team chat,right?
Well, maybe you're still tryingto figure out how to get your
(01:49):
sales this month, right?
So today we're going to talkabout why comparison is so
brutal in this industry, how tospot it when you're in the trap
and, most importantly, how touse other people's success as
fuel instead of letting itdestroy your confidence.
And listen, I've been there Iconstantly, and not just in
network marketing.
(02:10):
But you know, when you hearsomeone else's success, it's so
easy If you're not feelingsuccess at that moment, if
you're not feeling like you arein a good space wherever whether
it be business or personal lifeit's easy to fall into that
comparison trap because it hitslike in that pain point right
(02:30):
when you see someone else havinggreat success.
Now, some people struggle withit more than others.
But we're going to start todaywith why comparison hits so much
harder in network marketingthan in traditional businesses.
So, like I mentioned before,everything feels public right In
a regular job.
You don't know exactly whatyour coworker makes or how many
(02:51):
sales they closed last month.
But in network marketing yourrank really is often displayed.
So your company might publishtop earner lists, which feels
really good when you're on thatlist because, hello right, I
love to be on those lists.
But your upline, or what Ishould say here, is when your
(03:11):
upline celebrates other people'ssuccess on team calls as they
should, it can feel reallydefeating when you're not on
that list.
I remember feeling so muchexcitement and I was so proud
when I got the recognition.
But when I didn't get therecognition I felt like that
spoke volumes more to me.
(03:33):
Not that anyone else wasspeaking those volumes, but I
took it to mean something andI'm very much a words of
affirmation person.
So recognition was big for meand that's why I think I was so
successful, because that waswhat motivated me.
But I will say, you know, andI've shared this before, when it
(03:53):
comes to dealing withrecruiting and building a team,
that was not my strength and Ifelt very discouraged every time
other people were celebratedand I couldn't figure out why I
couldn't do it.
What was I doing wrong?
So I don't know if you relateto that at all, but I'm just
saying girl, listen, I get you.
(04:14):
I think the other issue is thatyou know we talk about social
media being the highlight reel,right, like you see all your
friends and everyone postinglike about their kids and about
whatever, and it really is ahighlight reel.
We don't see people's problems.
People don't post theirproblems, but it's the same, but
(04:35):
magnified, I think, withnetwork marketing, because you
may see that someone earnedtheir car this month or that
they earned their trip or youknow they they are being like
shared all across your teambecause on TikTok they made
$20,000 in sales last month.
But the thing is is you're notseeing the months where they
(04:56):
made $500 or the months wherethey didn't even make their
sales goal.
We see the luxury car bonus, wesee the trip bonus, we see how
they're excelling, selling crazythings on TikTok and making
insane amount of money on TikTok.
You don't see the anxiety theyhave about maintaining that rank
(05:16):
.
You don't see how much timethey worked away from their
family to get that sales goal.
You don't see any of that.
We see team growth and how manypeople you know they have on
their team, how many peoplethey're recruiting, but you
don't see how many people aren'tworking that month, or how many
(05:37):
people have quit.
We see all the positive,amazing things, but we don't see
the other part of it and thereis another part of it, right.
Also, I think there's a weirdculture in network marketing
where success stories becomerecruiting tools.
You know what I mean.
So everyone's incentivized tomake their journey look easier
(05:59):
and faster and more glamorousthan it actually was because
you're recruiting.
So it might be like I replacedmy corporate income in six
months, right?
Or maybe you can't say thatbecause of the rules, but you
know what I mean.
We tend to make things sound somuch better than it was really
hard work.
I worked my butt off for 18months.
I had six terrible months whereI wanted to quit and slowly I
(06:25):
built something sustainable.
Right, that's the truth.
But we don't hear that.
And here's what's really messingwith your head.
You're comparing your behindthe scenes, your behind the
scenes, your low points toeveryone else's highlight reel.
But you're doing it in anindustry where success is
supposed to be duplicatable,right?
(06:46):
So when you see someonecrushing it and you're not, you
start wondering what's wrongwith you?
Why isn't it working for youthe same way?
So let's talk about what thiscomparison trap is actually
costing you.
First, it's stealing yourmomentum, my friend.
Instead of focusing on yournext customer, or your next post
, or your next conversation, oryou know what you're going to,
(07:09):
who you're going to talk to nextor who's going to your team,
you're scrolling through socialmedia getting depressed about
what you're not accomplishing.
You're spending mental energyon other people's businesses
instead of building your own.
Secondly, it's making youchange strategies constantly,
and I am so guilty of those.
You guys, right?
(07:30):
You see someone else havingsuccess with Instagram reels,
for example, or Facebook groups,and so you abandon the strategy
that you're using that wasstarting to work for you,
because you see someone elsedoing it and you're like, okay,
I need to do what they're doing.
Or you see someone talkingabout their morning routine, so
you completely overhaul yours,even though it was completely
(07:52):
fine.
You're always, it's like you'realways chasing someone else's
blueprint instead of developingyour own, and I am so guilty of
this.
I think it's also part of mypersonality to just want new
things, so I'm like, oh, this isworking, let's try this instead
of sticking with the same old,same old, because it gets boring
.
Right, it gets boring and it'snot fun, and I like to have fun,
(08:14):
but the reality is you're goingto find success doing the same
thing over and over again.
I mean assuming it's not broken, okay, third, the third reason,
I think, or the third exampleof how this is hurting you, is
it's creating this weird energythat people can feel.
(08:36):
So when you're consumed withwhat everyone else is doing,
you're not fully present in yourown business or your own life.
Your content feels forced, yourconversations feel desperate.
Have you ever felt that way?
Like you show up feeling sodesperate, like it's that
desperation energy People cansense.
When you're coming from a placeof lack, y'all they can sense.
(08:58):
If you're coming from a placeof lack instead of abundance,
they may not be able toverbalize that, but it's like
that.
It's like that desperationenergy.
I think I've talked about thisbefore.
I just wanted a boyfriend sobadly and I didn't have one at
the time and I really think Iwas desperate.
I was putting off desperateenergy, right, none of us want
(09:20):
to be putting that out there.
And here's the thing this mightbe the worst piece of it all
Like this is what comparison isdoing to you.
It's making you smaller.
You're not sharing your winsbecause they don't seem big
enough compared to what you'reseeing online.
You're not sharing your winsbecause they don't seem big
enough compared to what you'reseeing online.
You're not stepping intoleadership because you don't
feel qualified compared to thatperson who seems to have it all
(09:40):
figured out.
Am I right?
Do you feel me?
Do you feel me?
Do you?
Are you resonating with this?
Because here's the thing Iwould.
I would bet that you probablydo resonate with that, okay, but
here's what we're going to do.
We're going to break free fromthis, okay.
So let's, let me give you some,some practical steps, and I am
going to do the same, okay.
(10:02):
So the first step, I think, islet's really audit what we are
thinking, what we are consuming,what is going in right?
So, for a week, pay attentionto how you feel after consuming
certain content.
So maybe it's on Instagram, ormaybe it's on Facebook, or maybe
it's on TikTok, and I want youto pay attention to how specific
(10:26):
people and posts are making youfeel.
So, if there's a person onthere who always makes you feel
behind or makes you feel just,you can't even describe how it
makes you feel, but it's not agood feeling.
I want you to unfollow or mutethem or hide them for now.
This isn't forever, but youneed to protect your mental
space while you're building yourconfidence and y'all.
(10:48):
I have done this to severalpeople.
I have muted them because whenI see their posts, it makes me
feel just not a good thing.
I can't even describe it.
Sometimes Maybe it's jealousy,sometimes Maybe it's like this
panic, because I don't feel likeI'm caught up.
Whatever it is, it's not good.
So I'm gonna have you mute them, unfollow them, whatever.
(11:09):
We don't need to get alldramatic and unfollow.
You can literally just hidethem.
That's on Instagram I'm notsure about what the terminology
is for Facebook.
So that's the first step.
Second step is I want you tocreate your own success metrics.
Okay, so, yes, your companymeasures your success from your
rank, your volume, your teamsize, your sales.
(11:31):
But what are your metrics?
Maybe it's having onemeaningful conversation a day,
or maybe it's helping onecustomer solve a problem.
Maybe it's showing upconsistently for 30 days, and
let's get really specific onwhat that means.
What is consistent for you?
Okay, define your success in away that's within your control,
(11:53):
not somebody else's.
Okay, step three girl, you'regoing to celebrate your behind
the scenes wins.
Okay, maybe we need to have aparty You're going to.
You're going to celebrate thelittle things Like did you have
a tough conversation with a teammember?
That is leadership, my friend.
Did you post consistently, evenwhen you didn't feel like it?
(12:14):
Hi, that's discipline.
Did you learn something newabout your product?
That's growth.
Did you listen to a podcastlike this one that helped you
with your mindset?
That's personal growth.
And most of your real wins, myfriend, happen in private.
They don't happen in stories onInstagram.
(12:35):
They don't happen on a post onTikTok or on a video on TikTok
okay.
They happen behind the scenes,where nobody else sees them and
you don't recognize them becauseyou're so focused on what
everybody else is doing.
Focused on what everybody elseis doing.
(12:56):
Okay.
Next step Remember thateveryone's timeline is different
.
Everyone has a.
Your journey is not her journey.
Okay.
The person who replaced herincome in six months, she may
have had 20 years of salesexperience, a huge network from
her previous company orfinancial resources that allowed
her to invest differently thanyou can, company or financial
resources that allowed her toinvest differently than you can.
(13:16):
Her timeline is not yourtimeline and that is okay.
Okay, and the last step, frombreaking free from this
comparison trap is to usecomparison as data, not as
judgment.
So, when you see someone doingreally well, instead of thinking
why can't that happen to me,I'm literally doing everything
I'm supposed to do.
Why am I not the one that'sgetting the results that she is,
(13:37):
instead ask what can I learnhere?
Maybe they've been consistentwith their content, maybe
they're really good at follow-up, maybe they've gotten really
clear on their target audience.
Whatever it is, I want you totake the lesson, but not the
judgment.
No more self-judgment.
Okay.
So let me just recap how you'regoing to break free from this
(13:59):
comparison trap.
Let's call it the comparisondetox.
Step one is audit your inputs.
Step two is create your ownsuccess metrics.
Step three is celebrate yourbehind-the-scenes wins.
Step four is remember thatbehind the scenes wins.
Step four is remember thateveryone's timeline is different
.
And step five is use thecomparison.
(14:20):
Use the ad information and Idon't even want to use the word
comparison.
Use that information as data,not as self judgment.
Okay, so, let's, let's talk.
Let me give you some practicaltips, ways that you can do this.
Okay, so the next time you seesomeone's success and you feel
(14:40):
that familiar sting ofcomparison, I want you to
practice this mental flip.
So, instead of saying, man,they are so lucky.
Instead say you know what?
If they can do it, so can I.
Or if you're thinking I'llnever be that successful, I will
never have a team like her, Iwill never be director level, I
(15:02):
will never Instead, say I'm onmy own journey, I'm on my own
journey.
That might not be my journey,I'm on my own journey Instead of
what's wrong with me.
Instead, try what can I learnfrom this?
And here's a big one.
This is big y'all.
(15:22):
I want you to start rooting forother people's success genuinely
.
I know it soundscounterintuitive, but when you
can genuinely celebrate someoneelse's win, it shifts your
energy from that scarcity toabundance.
It tells your brain thatsuccess is possible and it's
available.
And that can be hard.
(15:44):
We tend to fall into that sortof the comparison trap, for lack
of a better term, and that'swhen we start getting really
down ourselves.
But what if, instead, you'relike oh my gosh, I'm so excited
for her.
Even if you don't feel it, sayit out loud.
Say it out loud because it willhelp.
Also, remember that someoneelse's success doesn't diminish
(16:05):
yours.
There isn't a limited amount ofsuccess in the world?
Seriously, there's not.
It's not like well, she rankedup.
Therefore, I don't thinkthere's going to be any left for
me.
No, their win does not equalyour loss, sister.
The market is big enough forall of us to thrive.
I feel like I am on like I'mpreaching from a pulpit today,
(16:26):
like I'm getting really intothis.
I'm sure you can tell I hopethat I don't know.
Maybe you can't, I don't knowbut I'm feeling like really
pumped up over this Because Ithink that we just struggle.
So many of us struggle withthis at different times, maybe
not all the time, but this isreally important.
So, listen, I want you to startsharing your own journey more
(16:46):
authentically.
Someone told me the other daythat authenticity is I don't, I
don't really understand thissort of language but the
frequency of authenticity ishigher than the frequency of
love.
I don't really know what thatmeans, but my friend told me
that and I was like that'sinteresting.
But basically, authenticity isimportant.
(17:09):
Okay, not just the wins, thereal stuff, the hard days, the
lessons, the growth.
When you show up authentically,you give other people
permission to do the same andsuddenly everyone's playing a
different game.
Do you hear me on that.
When you show up authentically,you are giving other people a
(17:32):
permission to do the same, andthat's powerful.
So, before we wrap up, I dowant to do a quick identity
check with you, so I want you toanswer these questions.
Okay, are you defining yourselfby your rank?
I think that is one of thebiggest issues I see with my
(17:53):
students is that their rankdefines who they are, and I'm
constantly, you know,encouraging them and reminding
them that their rank does notdefine who they are.
That's not who they are, it'sjust a thing.
Okay, there's no emotionconnected to that, there's no
meaning.
It's just a thing, okay.
(18:13):
Hey, are you defining yourselfby how much you make?
Are you defining yourself byhow you compare to others in
your company?
Because here's the truth youare not your business results.
You're a whole person withvalue that exists, completely
(18:35):
separate from your networkmarketing success.
Your worth isn't determined bywhether you hit your goals this
month or whether you recruitfive more people in your
downline.
No, that doesn't mean anything.
Okay, your worth.
You are worthy just because youexist and when you remember that
, comparison loses its powerover you because you're not
(18:58):
competing with anyone.
You're just becoming the bestversion of yourself and when you
can give that reality check toyourself.
When you do that, it reallydoes take away the power.
It's like fear, right?
I always want my kids or shame.
I always encourage my kids toshare the thing that they're
thinking, that they don't wantto because they feel embarrassed
(19:21):
or they feel ashamed or theyfeel like they shouldn't be
thinking that because, chancesare, when you speak it out loud,
it takes away the power, right?
It's fear.
When you speak it out loud,that power is gone because
you're acknowledging it, we'renot hiding it, and it's the same
for comparison.
So your challenge for this weekokay, I want you to pick one
(19:43):
person whose success usuallytriggers your comparison spiral
and now, instead of unfollowingthem, I want you to genuinely
celebrate their next win.
You can hide them or meet them,but don't don't unfollow.
But I just want you to reallybe genuine in celebrating their
(20:03):
next win.
So maybe it's in your Facebookgroup.
So maybe maybe it's in the teamFacebook group.
You don't have to follow themon social, but just in the group
.
If you see that your upline isshouting someone out, I want you
to genuinely celebrate theirnext win.
Comment something encouraging,send them a message.
I want you to practice shiftingfrom scarcity to abundance.
(20:26):
Okay, and, like I said, you canhide them or mute them on, you
know, on your feed, but in theFacebook group, celebrate that
person and I want you to reallybe genuine about it.
I want you to not fall intothat trap that we just talked
about.
Instead, I want you to findthat joy for them.
(20:48):
We're gonna practice that shiftfrom scarcity to abundance and
remember my friend, my beautiful, beautiful friend.
Your journey is your journey,your timeline is yours, your
version of success is yours.
So stop apologizing for notbeing further along and start
celebrating how far you've come.
(21:10):
My friends, I adore you.
I appreciate you listening tothis.
I just adore you and I amrooting for you and I'm so
excited for you to step out ofthis trap.
All right, listen until nextweek, take care.
That's it for this episode ofthe direct sellers podcast, but
(21:34):
our fun doesn't have to end now.
You'll catch me hanging outover on Instagram between
episodes and I'd love for you tojoin me.
So hop into my DMs.
I promise you're not gettingany hate girl messages and I
promise I'm not going to beasking you to weirdly buy
anything.
Send me the message podcast soI can send you my free 90 day
action planner, because whodoesn't love a good template?
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