July 1, 2025 • 20 mins
Are you so wrapped up in your business that you've forgotten who you are outside of it? If losing your rank feels like losing yourself, or rejection feels personal instead of professional, this episode is for you. Host Rachel Perry dives deep into the dangerous territory of tying your self-worth to your business performance and shares exactly how to separate your identity from your results—so you can build a thriving business AND maintain your sanity.
Key Takeaways
• The Identity Trap is Real: When your self-worth becomes dependent on business performance, you start making decisions from desperation instead of strategy—and people can feel that desperate energy from a mile away
• Relationship Damage Warning: If every conversation becomes about your business, people start avoiding you at the grocery store because they miss just being friends with the person you used to be
• The 5-Step Identity Reset: Go back to who you were before, audit your relationships, develop interests outside your business, practice introducing yourself without mentioning your company, and create success metrics that have nothing to do with income
• The Counterintuitive Truth: When you stop being desperate for every sale and recruit, you actually become MORE attractive to customers and potential team members
• Strategic Thinking Returns: Once your emotional stability doesn't depend on results, you'll make smarter business decisions and bounce back faster from setbacks
• Permission to Be Human: You can struggle with your business and still know you're a good person, parent, friend, and leader—bad business months don't define your worth
Call to Action
Ready to reclaim your identity? Here's your challenge: Do something this week that has absolutely nothing to do with your business. Connect with an old friend, take a walk without listening to business podcasts, or pick up that hobby you abandoned. Notice how it feels to be valued for who you are, not what you sell. And don't forget to send Rachel a DM on Instagram with the word "podcast" to grab your free 90-day action planner—because who doesn't love a good template?
Hang out with me more!
Send me the message PODCAST over on Instagram at @rachelaperry and I’ll send you my "Parties-Optional Profit Plan!"
For Additional Resources for Direct Sellers:
www.rachelaperry.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast
for direct sellers who are readyto get uncomfortable, build
their business and grow a teamwhile changing the face of the
direct sales industry.
I'm your host, rachel Perry.
Join me as we get real and talkabout all the things you need
to kick some serious directsales booty, from overcoming
(00:26):
limiting beliefs to sharing theexact strategies you need to
attract the right people whobecome customers and beg to join
your team.
I've got you covered, girl.
I'm going to be your new BFFwhen it comes to balancing life
and kids while building yourdirect sales business with poise
, peace of mind and, of course,a good set of fake eyelashes.
Let's get started.
(00:48):
Hello, my friends, welcome backto another episode of the
Direct Sellers Podcast.
I'm your host, rachel Perry,and today I'm having some tech
issues, like my computer is slow, there's such a lag on
everything and I'm wonderingwhat the heck is going on.
(01:09):
But hopefully this recordingwill work and we can dive in,
because I'm really I'm veryexcited about what we are
talking about today.
I just think it's somethingthat needs to be talked about.
Okay, and that's who you are.
When you're not posting content, when you're not trying to
build your team, when you're nottalking about your products or
(01:30):
your business opportunity?
And I know that might seem likea really weird question, but
here's why I'm asking it.
So you guys know I've beencoaching people in this industry
for years and years and years.
I've been around, I've beenaround the block, I've been here
a while and I see this patternover and over again.
Network marketers become soidentified with their company
and with their business thatwhen their rank drops we've all
(01:53):
been there or their team shrinks, or they've had a bad month, or
their upline says something tothem.
That kind of makes them feelsmall.
They just don't feel like theirbusiness is struggling.
They feel like they are failingas a person.
Has that ever happened to you?
Have you ever had something badand I'm saying that in
(02:16):
quotations, air quotes butsomething happens like you lose
your rank, for example, or youdon't earn the trip or whatever,
and then you suddenly feel likeyou are a complete failure as a
human being.
Am I, are you shaking your headsthere?
I've been there and I get it.
But here's the thing this isdangerous territory because when
(02:39):
your self-worth is tied to yourbusiness performance, you're
setting yourself up for anemotional rollercoaster that
never ends, I mean right?
So today we're going to talkabout separating your identity
from your business results andremembering who you are and who
you were before this businessand who you're going to be after
(03:02):
it, and why this mental shiftmight be the most important
thing for you to do today it'sgoing to.
This is how you're going tohave long-term success and
happiness, my friend.
So I know that might soundheavy, but I'm serious.
We I see too many of youspiraling when you lose your
(03:24):
rank or when you don't make asales goal, or when you're this
I've seen this a lot when yourupline doubts you or says
something and you immediatelyshrink and put yourself in like
this little box.
But the thing is is this is agradual occurrence Like this?
This happens so gradually thatyou might not even realize it's
(03:47):
happening, this shrinking to putyourself in a box, this
identity crisis, if you will,identifying as I am, this direct
seller, I am a business owner,or not even a business owner I
am, for example, I am Bellamy, Iam Sensi.
You're not right, but here'sthe thing.
(04:08):
Here's how it starts.
You start out in your networkmarketing business and you're so
excited because you're learningnew things.
You're meeting new people,you're making some money, you're
getting recognition.
And because success in networkmarketing often requires you to
share your story and beauthentic about your journey,
you start weaving your businessinto your identity.
Does this really, do you relateto this at all?
(04:29):
And so your social mediabecomes all about your products
and your team.
Your conversations may revolvearound your business.
You make friends in the companyright, you're kind of running
buddies.
Your goals become businessgoals.
Goals.
Your wins are business wins andyour struggles are business
struggles.
And then slowly, withoutrealizing it, the line between
(04:52):
who you are and what you do.
It starts to blur a little bit.
It does you guys like?
Do you feel that?
Now listen, I am not sayingthat passion and dedication are
bad things, because they're not,but what happens when your
identity becomes too wrapped upin your business results is so
(05:12):
many things.
If you don't hit your salesgoal for that month, you don't
just feel disappointed, you feellike a failure as a person,
like I said before this.
Let me tell you this happenedto me a lot.
When someone says no to yourproduct or to joining your team,
it doesn't feel like a businessrejection, it doesn't feel like
(05:34):
someone's just saying no, thankyou.
It feels personal.
Do you feel me on that?
I know it's not just me.
When you lose rank, you don'tjust lose income.
You lose part of who you thinkyou are.
If you identify as a director,if you identify as an executive
director, if you identify as athree diamond purple star
(05:55):
whatever leader and then youlose it, you lose that.
Your identity is like who am Iright, you don't know who you
are.
But here's the thing when yourself-worth is dependent on your
business performance, you startmaking decisions from
desperation instead of strategy.
(06:16):
You may become pushy becauseyou need the sale or you need
someone to join your team,because you're like this is when
I am a success, is when I havemeet my sales goal or when I
build my team, and then youstart taking rejection even
harder because it feels likethey're rejecting you and not
(06:37):
just what you're offering.
And guess what?
That then shows up in yourenergy and people can feel it
and you guys have heard me talkabout this like the desperation
of high school Rachel to get aboyfriend.
And I swear there was like itwas like a beacon, that was like
putting them off because I wasso dang desperate, and it's the
(07:00):
same for you in your business.
No one's going to want to buyfrom someone who's desperate.
No one wants to join a teamwith someone whose emotional
stability depends on the successof their business, right?
So what does this actually costyou?
When your identity becomes yourbusiness, all hope is not lost,
my friend.
Okay, but let's just talk aboutthe reality of what happens,
(07:23):
okay.
So when you are like the personthat you are you know you are
your business you loseresilience.
Here is the thing, and I canattest to this Business has ups
and downs.
That's just reality.
Life has ups and downs, butwhen your identity is tied to
those ups and downs, everysetback feels catastrophic.
(07:48):
You can't bounce back asquickly because you're just not
recovering from a businesschallenge.
You're recovering from whatfeels like a personal attack on
who you are right Like.
This is proof that I suck as ahuman being.
On who you are right Like.
This is proof that I suck as ahuman being.
Okay, am I being dramatic?
Possibly, but I do know that Iused to feel this way and I know
(08:11):
that many of those that I coachfeel the same way.
Here's another reason thisreally messes you up.
When you identify, like whenyour identity is in your
business, you lose relationships.
I used to do when I was withthe tag team, we used to do
videos like our minivan moments,and so often we would sort of
bring make fun, if you will oflike how we used to hide from
people, or people used to hidefrom us at the grocery store or
(08:34):
at Target.
Because when every conversationbecomes about your business
sister, people start avoidingyou.
Okay, not because they don'tcare about you, but because they
don't care as much about yourbusiness as you do.
But also they miss just beingfriends with you, right, they
miss the person you used to be.
They want to talk about lifeand shared interests and like
(08:55):
did you see this sale at Target?
Not about your latest productlaunch or whether or not they
want to join your team.
And the third thing that I thinkis affected when your business
becomes your identity is thatyou lose perspective.
You stop seeing opportunitiesoutside your business, and I
have been there.
Okay, every person you talk toyou're like, oh, they'd be good
(09:19):
on my team.
I wonder if they are lookingfor extra money, right.
Or I wonder if they are lookingfor extra money, right.
Or I wonder if they would likemy product.
You stop growing in other areasof your life because you stop
being curious about things thatdon't directly relate to your
income goals and, maybe mostimportantly, you lose the
ability to make clear businessdecisions, because when your
identity is basically on theline with every choice and
(09:44):
you're not even thinking thisconsciously, you're not thinking
you know what my business is,my identity and every decision I
make is going to affect youknow it's going to imply or show
me who I am.
That's not what you're thinking, but your subconscious has.
That's what you've taughtyourself.
So then you're unable to thinkstrategically because you're too
emotionally invested to seewhat's actually working and what
(10:06):
isn't.
You're basically seeing thingsas I suck and I got rejected, or
, yes, I'm amazing, right, and Ihave seen so many people stay
in companies that weren'tserving them because leaving
felt like they were losingthemselves.
And listen, I left my networkmarketing company and it was a
big decision.
(10:26):
I had the tag team that wasjust doing so well and it was
taking up so much time and Ijust couldn't focus on the
network marketing business likeI used to and I also didn't want
to anymore.
I was.
I found my passion in the tagteam, also didn't want to
anymore.
I was.
I found my passion in the tagteam and so I found I left.
But it took me a while to leavebecause that was part of my
(10:46):
identity.
When I left the tag team, y'allI had a massive identity crisis
because I identified as Rachelfrom the tag team.
That was who I was right.
But I was so much more thanthat and I have seen people burn
out completely because theycouldn't separate a bad business
month from being a bad,terrible business owner, right?
(11:10):
So how do we fix this?
Because I know that I'm not theonly one that's ever dealt with
this.
So I have five steps.
Okay, I'm trying to get moreactionable in my podcast
episodes, so I would love toknow if this is resonating with
you or what.
But the first step would be togo back to who you were before.
Like, who were you before youstarted this business?
(11:31):
What did you love?
What made you laugh?
You know like it's like whenyou get into a bad relationship
and then the bad relationshipends and you're like well, who
am I?
I was, you know, so-and-so'sgirlfriend or so-and-so's wife
or whatever.
Now, who am I Right, who wereyou before?
What did people talk to youabout?
What did you talk about?
Now you might be saying this istotally ridiculous, rachel, but
(11:52):
it's not Okay.
Some of y'all are straight uplike I am a business and this is
all I have to talk about.
Okay, so go back to before.
Who were you before?
The second step is to look atyour relationships.
Gosh, this is so as I'm likesharing all of this.
I'm just reminded of being ahigh school student.
(12:13):
Right, like audit for yourrelationships.
Do you have friends that havenothing to do with your business
?
Do?
Can you talk to people aboutunrelated things, like not
nothing to do with your business?
And, on that same line, can youthink about things other than
your business?
When you're talking to peopleand listen, it might take you
(12:38):
some time to get back intothings like maybe you need to
join a book club or maybe youneed to take a class or
volunteer somewhere, but youneed to have parts of your life
that aren't just on yourbusiness, okay, so that brings
me to the next step.
Develop interests outside yourbusiness also.
Side note, this also helps youwith your business because
you're building morerelationships right, again, not
that you're buildingrelationships for the purpose of
(13:00):
you improving and getting yourbusiness action.
But this is just about youbecoming more well-rounded,
building more connections.
Maybe you want to learn adifferent language, maybe you
want to do more gardening, maybeyou want to get into
photography or learn somecooking techniques or whatever
it is.
Start doing that.
Start get a hobby.
Get a hobby that's not yourbusiness, and start doing it,
(13:23):
even if it's just 15 minutes aweek.
Step four I want you to practiceintroducing yourself without
your business.
I know this is weird becausewe're taught like what's our,
what's your elevator pitch?
Right, like what's your 30second introduction?
But, sister, it's okay to notalways have to use your hi, I'm
(13:44):
Rachel and I da, da, da, da.
No, who are you?
Are you a mom?
Are you?
Do you like to ride horses?
Do you love like?
Who are you?
Okay?
And then the final part is tocreate success metrics.
This is the most important, Ithink, is to create success
(14:07):
metrics.
This is the most important, Ithink, but create metrics for
success.
So, like, what do you just?
What is success for you?
But have them have nothing todo with your business.
Like, if I make $5,000 thismonth, then I'm a success?
No, no, it's things, and I tellmy kids this all the time.
We need to celebrate the smallwins.
So today I was helping my like,taking my son driving because,
(14:31):
yes, he's 19 and yes, he's stilljust not have his license.
Okay, and I'm like, before yougo to school, you are going to
get your license before you goto college.
So he was he.
We got back home and he waslike, oh, I just feel like that
wasn't a good drive.
I I, you know slam my brakes ontoo fast at that one stop sign.
And I was like, but, john Mark,you got in the car and you
(14:52):
drove to go get a bagel.
We drove to Manhattan bagel.
You this is a big deal.
You got on a busy road, youobeyed the laws.
So you, you, you kind of werefast at a stop sign.
That's okay, because that's notyour.
We're not measuring your successon passing every single step
(15:13):
and being the most amazingdriver ever.
What we're doing is we'remeasuring your success by things
that you did, that you got outof your comfort zone, you drove
right, all those things.
So for you, are you a goodfriend, or are you learning new
things, or are you taking careof your health or are you
present with your family.
These are all measures of asuccessful life that have
nothing to do with your rank andnothing to do with your income.
So here's what will happen whenyou successfully separate your
(15:38):
identity from your business andthis might surprise you, but
guess what?
Your business will actuallyimprove Because when you're not
desperate for every sale, youbecome more attractive to
customers.
When you're not trying torecruit everyone you meet,
people actually want to hearmore about the business
opportunity.
When your emotional stabilitydoesn't depend on your results,
(16:00):
you're going to make smarter,more strategic decisions and you
also become so much moreresilient.
You know your bad months don'tdestroy you, they just you're
just seeing it as likeinformation.
Okay, that's data rejectiondoesn't devastate you, because
not only do you realize thatit's not rejection, it just
means that that person wasn'tthe right fit.
(16:21):
Changes in your company,because you know those are
happening all over the place.
Those won't send you into anidentity crisis, because you are
looking at it from a much morestrategic perspective.
And here's the most beautifulthing you become more
authentically you in yourbusiness, instead of trying to
(16:42):
perfect being the best you knownetwork marketer in your
business, in your company, orbeing the best you know, network
marketer in your business, inyour company, or whatever
leadership rank you want, orwhatever you get to be.
You doing network marketing,your personality shines through.
Your strengths become obvious.
People connect with you becauseyou're real, not because you're
trying to be someone else.
You also give yourselfpermission to have bad days,
(17:04):
without it meaning anythingabout your character or anything
about you being a successfulbusiness owner, right, you can
struggle with your business andstill know that you're a good
person, you're a good parent andyou're a good friend and you're
a good business owner andyou're a good leader.
Right, and maybe mostimportantly, you give yourself
an exit strategy, not becauseyou're planning to quit, but
(17:26):
because knowing you couldsurvive and thrive without this
business gives you theconfidence to take risks, to
take smart risks and make somereally tough decisions.
Okay, cause this happens Like wejust we have to make tough
decisions sometimes, and whenour identity is so connected to
(17:49):
our business, we become lessable to do that.
Does that make sense?
So those are just some thingsthat I want you to think about.
Okay, when you do when?
Well, when you're thinkingabout your identity and you're
thinking about your business.
It's really, it sounds it'slike balance.
Right, there is a balance.
How do you stay passionateabout your business without
(18:11):
losing yourself in it?
Well, you gotta schedulenon-business time Every like,
sister, if you are spending 60hours working like we need to
scale back, we need to scaleback because you are more
important.
We need to take some time foryou, okay, so here's the thing.
I hope this was helpful, allright, and I would love for you
(18:32):
to do like.
And this is your brand, this isbasically your brand.
That's what we're doing.
So here's your challenge forthis week.
I want you to do something thathas absolutely nothing to do
with your business.
Connect with an old friend,take a walk without listening to
a business podcast and I'msaying that because you know, I
know I'm a business podcast,right, but listen, go listen to
(18:52):
some you know a romance or aromanticist or a mystery.
Okay, do something just becauseit brings you joy, not because
it serves your business goals.
And then I want you to noticehow it feels to be valued for
who you are, not what you sell.
My friend, thank you so muchfor being here.
Thank you for listening.
(19:12):
I am so excited to see what's tocome for you in your business
and in your life, because Ithink big things are coming.
I do, I feel it, I feel it.
I feel it.
I feel it All right.
I'm going to go to the poolwith my kids.
I feel it, I feel it, I feel it.
I feel it All right, I'm goingto go to the pool with my kids.
I hope you have a good rest ofthe day and I'll be back here
next week for another episode ofthe direct sellers podcast.
That's it for this episode ofthe direct sellers podcast, but
(19:40):
our fun doesn't have to end now.
You'll catch me hanging outover on Instagram between
episodes and I'd love for you tojoin me.
So hop into my DMs.
I promise you're not gettingany hate girl messages and I
promise I'm not going to beasking you to weirdly buy
anything.
Send me the message podcast soI can send you my free 90 day
action planner, because whodoesn't love a good template?
Welcome to the Direct Sellers Podcast, the podcast
for direct sellers who are readyto get uncomfortable, build
their business and grow a teamwhile changing the face of the
direct sales industry.
I'm your host, rachel Perry.
Join me as we get real and talkabout all the things you need
to kick some serious directsales booty, from overcoming
(00:26):
limiting beliefs to sharing theexact strategies you need to
attract the right people whobecome customers and beg to join
your team.
I've got you covered, girl.
I'm going to be your new BFFwhen it comes to balancing life
and kids while building yourdirect sales business with poise
, peace of mind and, of course,a good set of fake eyelashes.
Let's get started.
(00:48):
Hello, my friends, welcome backto another episode of the
Direct Sellers Podcast.
I'm your host, rachel Perry,and today I'm having some tech
issues, like my computer is slow, there's such a lag on
everything and I'm wonderingwhat the heck is going on.
(01:09):
But hopefully this recordingwill work and we can dive in,
because I'm really I'm veryexcited about what we are
talking about today.
I just think it's somethingthat needs to be talked about.
Okay, and that's who you are.
When you're not posting content, when you're not trying to
build your team, when you're nottalking about your products or
(01:30):
your business opportunity?
And I know that might seem likea really weird question, but
here's why I'm asking it.
So you guys know I've beencoaching people in this industry
for years and years and years.
I've been around, I've beenaround the block, I've been here
a while and I see this patternover and over again.
Network marketers become soidentified with their company
and with their business thatwhen their rank drops we've all
(01:53):
been there or their team shrinks, or they've had a bad month, or
their upline says something tothem.
That kind of makes them feelsmall.
They just don't feel like theirbusiness is struggling.
They feel like they are failingas a person.
Has that ever happened to you?
Have you ever had something badand I'm saying that in
(02:16):
quotations, air quotes butsomething happens like you lose
your rank, for example, or youdon't earn the trip or whatever,
and then you suddenly feel likeyou are a complete failure as a
human being.
Am I, are you shaking your headsthere?
I've been there and I get it.
But here's the thing this isdangerous territory because when
(02:39):
your self-worth is tied to yourbusiness performance, you're
setting yourself up for anemotional rollercoaster that
never ends, I mean right?
So today we're going to talkabout separating your identity
from your business results andremembering who you are and who
you were before this businessand who you're going to be after
(03:02):
it, and why this mental shiftmight be the most important
thing for you to do today it'sgoing to.
This is how you're going tohave long-term success and
happiness, my friend.
So I know that might soundheavy, but I'm serious.
We I see too many of youspiraling when you lose your
(03:24):
rank or when you don't make asales goal, or when you're this
I've seen this a lot when yourupline doubts you or says
something and you immediatelyshrink and put yourself in like
this little box.
But the thing is is this is agradual occurrence Like this?
This happens so gradually thatyou might not even realize it's
(03:47):
happening, this shrinking to putyourself in a box, this
identity crisis, if you will,identifying as I am, this direct
seller, I am a business owner,or not even a business owner I
am, for example, I am Bellamy, Iam Sensi.
You're not right, but here'sthe thing.
(04:08):
Here's how it starts.
You start out in your networkmarketing business and you're so
excited because you're learningnew things.
You're meeting new people,you're making some money, you're
getting recognition.
And because success in networkmarketing often requires you to
share your story and beauthentic about your journey,
you start weaving your businessinto your identity.
Does this really, do you relateto this at all?
(04:29):
And so your social mediabecomes all about your products
and your team.
Your conversations may revolvearound your business.
You make friends in the companyright, you're kind of running
buddies.
Your goals become businessgoals.
Goals.
Your wins are business wins andyour struggles are business
struggles.
And then slowly, withoutrealizing it, the line between
(04:52):
who you are and what you do.
It starts to blur a little bit.
It does you guys like?
Do you feel that?
Now listen, I am not sayingthat passion and dedication are
bad things, because they're not,but what happens when your
identity becomes too wrapped upin your business results is so
(05:12):
many things.
If you don't hit your salesgoal for that month, you don't
just feel disappointed, you feellike a failure as a person,
like I said before this.
Let me tell you this happenedto me a lot.
When someone says no to yourproduct or to joining your team,
it doesn't feel like a businessrejection, it doesn't feel like
(05:34):
someone's just saying no, thankyou.
It feels personal.
Do you feel me on that?
I know it's not just me.
When you lose rank, you don'tjust lose income.
You lose part of who you thinkyou are.
If you identify as a director,if you identify as an executive
director, if you identify as athree diamond purple star
(05:55):
whatever leader and then youlose it, you lose that.
Your identity is like who am Iright, you don't know who you
are.
But here's the thing when yourself-worth is dependent on your
business performance, you startmaking decisions from
desperation instead of strategy.
(06:16):
You may become pushy becauseyou need the sale or you need
someone to join your team,because you're like this is when
I am a success, is when I havemeet my sales goal or when I
build my team, and then youstart taking rejection even
harder because it feels likethey're rejecting you and not
(06:37):
just what you're offering.
And guess what?
That then shows up in yourenergy and people can feel it
and you guys have heard me talkabout this like the desperation
of high school Rachel to get aboyfriend.
And I swear there was like itwas like a beacon, that was like
putting them off because I wasso dang desperate, and it's the
(07:00):
same for you in your business.
No one's going to want to buyfrom someone who's desperate.
No one wants to join a teamwith someone whose emotional
stability depends on the successof their business, right?
So what does this actually costyou?
When your identity becomes yourbusiness, all hope is not lost,
my friend.
Okay, but let's just talk aboutthe reality of what happens,
(07:23):
okay.
So when you are like the personthat you are you know you are
your business you loseresilience.
Here is the thing, and I canattest to this Business has ups
and downs.
That's just reality.
Life has ups and downs, butwhen your identity is tied to
those ups and downs, everysetback feels catastrophic.
(07:48):
You can't bounce back asquickly because you're just not
recovering from a businesschallenge.
You're recovering from whatfeels like a personal attack on
who you are right Like.
This is proof that I suck as ahuman being.
On who you are right Like.
This is proof that I suck as ahuman being.
Okay, am I being dramatic?
Possibly, but I do know that Iused to feel this way and I know
(08:11):
that many of those that I coachfeel the same way.
Here's another reason thisreally messes you up.
When you identify, like whenyour identity is in your
business, you lose relationships.
I used to do when I was withthe tag team, we used to do
videos like our minivan moments,and so often we would sort of
bring make fun, if you will oflike how we used to hide from
people, or people used to hidefrom us at the grocery store or
(08:34):
at Target.
Because when every conversationbecomes about your business
sister, people start avoidingyou.
Okay, not because they don'tcare about you, but because they
don't care as much about yourbusiness as you do.
But also they miss just beingfriends with you, right, they
miss the person you used to be.
They want to talk about lifeand shared interests and like
(08:55):
did you see this sale at Target?
Not about your latest productlaunch or whether or not they
want to join your team.
And the third thing that I thinkis affected when your business
becomes your identity is thatyou lose perspective.
You stop seeing opportunitiesoutside your business, and I
have been there.
Okay, every person you talk toyou're like, oh, they'd be good
(09:19):
on my team.
I wonder if they are lookingfor extra money, right.
Or I wonder if they are lookingfor extra money, right.
Or I wonder if they would likemy product.
You stop growing in other areasof your life because you stop
being curious about things thatdon't directly relate to your
income goals and, maybe mostimportantly, you lose the
ability to make clear businessdecisions, because when your
identity is basically on theline with every choice and
(09:44):
you're not even thinking thisconsciously, you're not thinking
you know what my business is,my identity and every decision I
make is going to affect youknow it's going to imply or show
me who I am.
That's not what you're thinking, but your subconscious has.
That's what you've taughtyourself.
So then you're unable to thinkstrategically because you're too
emotionally invested to seewhat's actually working and what
(10:06):
isn't.
You're basically seeing thingsas I suck and I got rejected, or
, yes, I'm amazing, right, and Ihave seen so many people stay
in companies that weren'tserving them because leaving
felt like they were losingthemselves.
And listen, I left my networkmarketing company and it was a
big decision.
(10:26):
I had the tag team that wasjust doing so well and it was
taking up so much time and Ijust couldn't focus on the
network marketing business likeI used to and I also didn't want
to anymore.
I was.
I found my passion in the tagteam, also didn't want to
anymore.
I was.
I found my passion in the tagteam and so I found I left.
But it took me a while to leavebecause that was part of my
(10:46):
identity.
When I left the tag team, y'allI had a massive identity crisis
because I identified as Rachelfrom the tag team.
That was who I was right.
But I was so much more thanthat and I have seen people burn
out completely because theycouldn't separate a bad business
month from being a bad,terrible business owner, right?
(11:10):
So how do we fix this?
Because I know that I'm not theonly one that's ever dealt with
this.
So I have five steps.
Okay, I'm trying to get moreactionable in my podcast
episodes, so I would love toknow if this is resonating with
you or what.
But the first step would be togo back to who you were before.
Like, who were you before youstarted this business?
(11:31):
What did you love?
What made you laugh?
You know like it's like whenyou get into a bad relationship
and then the bad relationshipends and you're like well, who
am I?
I was, you know, so-and-so'sgirlfriend or so-and-so's wife
or whatever.
Now, who am I Right, who wereyou before?
What did people talk to youabout?
What did you talk about?
Now you might be saying this istotally ridiculous, rachel, but
(11:52):
it's not Okay.
Some of y'all are straight uplike I am a business and this is
all I have to talk about.
Okay, so go back to before.
Who were you before?
The second step is to look atyour relationships.
Gosh, this is so as I'm likesharing all of this.
I'm just reminded of being ahigh school student.
(12:13):
Right, like audit for yourrelationships.
Do you have friends that havenothing to do with your business
?
Do?
Can you talk to people aboutunrelated things, like not
nothing to do with your business?
And, on that same line, can youthink about things other than
your business?
When you're talking to peopleand listen, it might take you
(12:38):
some time to get back intothings like maybe you need to
join a book club or maybe youneed to take a class or
volunteer somewhere, but youneed to have parts of your life
that aren't just on yourbusiness, okay, so that brings
me to the next step.
Develop interests outside yourbusiness also.
Side note, this also helps youwith your business because
you're building morerelationships right, again, not
that you're buildingrelationships for the purpose of
(13:00):
you improving and getting yourbusiness action.
But this is just about youbecoming more well-rounded,
building more connections.
Maybe you want to learn adifferent language, maybe you
want to do more gardening, maybeyou want to get into
photography or learn somecooking techniques or whatever
it is.
Start doing that.
Start get a hobby.
Get a hobby that's not yourbusiness, and start doing it,
(13:23):
even if it's just 15 minutes aweek.
Step four I want you to practiceintroducing yourself without
your business.
I know this is weird becausewe're taught like what's our,
what's your elevator pitch?
Right, like what's your 30second introduction?
But, sister, it's okay to notalways have to use your hi, I'm
(13:44):
Rachel and I da, da, da, da.
No, who are you?
Are you a mom?
Are you?
Do you like to ride horses?
Do you love like?
Who are you?
Okay?
And then the final part is tocreate success metrics.
This is the most important, Ithink, is to create success
(14:07):
metrics.
This is the most important, Ithink, but create metrics for
success.
So, like, what do you just?
What is success for you?
But have them have nothing todo with your business.
Like, if I make $5,000 thismonth, then I'm a success?
No, no, it's things, and I tellmy kids this all the time.
We need to celebrate the smallwins.
So today I was helping my like,taking my son driving because,
(14:31):
yes, he's 19 and yes, he's stilljust not have his license.
Okay, and I'm like, before yougo to school, you are going to
get your license before you goto college.
So he was he.
We got back home and he waslike, oh, I just feel like that
wasn't a good drive.
I I, you know slam my brakes ontoo fast at that one stop sign.
And I was like, but, john Mark,you got in the car and you
(14:52):
drove to go get a bagel.
We drove to Manhattan bagel.
You this is a big deal.
You got on a busy road, youobeyed the laws.
So you, you, you kind of werefast at a stop sign.
That's okay, because that's notyour.
We're not measuring your successon passing every single step
(15:13):
and being the most amazingdriver ever.
What we're doing is we'remeasuring your success by things
that you did, that you got outof your comfort zone, you drove
right, all those things.
So for you, are you a goodfriend, or are you learning new
things, or are you taking careof your health or are you
present with your family.
These are all measures of asuccessful life that have
nothing to do with your rank andnothing to do with your income.
So here's what will happen whenyou successfully separate your
(15:38):
identity from your business andthis might surprise you, but
guess what?
Your business will actuallyimprove Because when you're not
desperate for every sale, youbecome more attractive to
customers.
When you're not trying torecruit everyone you meet,
people actually want to hearmore about the business
opportunity.
When your emotional stabilitydoesn't depend on your results,
(16:00):
you're going to make smarter,more strategic decisions and you
also become so much moreresilient.
You know your bad months don'tdestroy you, they just you're
just seeing it as likeinformation.
Okay, that's data rejectiondoesn't devastate you, because
not only do you realize thatit's not rejection, it just
means that that person wasn'tthe right fit.
(16:21):
Changes in your company,because you know those are
happening all over the place.
Those won't send you into anidentity crisis, because you are
looking at it from a much morestrategic perspective.
And here's the most beautifulthing you become more
authentically you in yourbusiness, instead of trying to
(16:42):
perfect being the best you knownetwork marketer in your
business, in your company, orbeing the best you know, network
marketer in your business, inyour company, or whatever
leadership rank you want, orwhatever you get to be.
You doing network marketing,your personality shines through.
Your strengths become obvious.
People connect with you becauseyou're real, not because you're
trying to be someone else.
You also give yourselfpermission to have bad days,
(17:04):
without it meaning anythingabout your character or anything
about you being a successfulbusiness owner, right, you can
struggle with your business andstill know that you're a good
person, you're a good parent andyou're a good friend and you're
a good business owner andyou're a good leader.
Right, and maybe mostimportantly, you give yourself
an exit strategy, not becauseyou're planning to quit, but
(17:26):
because knowing you couldsurvive and thrive without this
business gives you theconfidence to take risks, to
take smart risks and make somereally tough decisions.
Okay, cause this happens Like wejust we have to make tough
decisions sometimes, and whenour identity is so connected to
(17:49):
our business, we become lessable to do that.
Does that make sense?
So those are just some thingsthat I want you to think about.
Okay, when you do when?
Well, when you're thinkingabout your identity and you're
thinking about your business.
It's really, it sounds it'slike balance.
Right, there is a balance.
How do you stay passionateabout your business without
(18:11):
losing yourself in it?
Well, you gotta schedulenon-business time Every like,
sister, if you are spending 60hours working like we need to
scale back, we need to scaleback because you are more
important.
We need to take some time foryou, okay, so here's the thing.
I hope this was helpful, allright, and I would love for you
(18:32):
to do like.
And this is your brand, this isbasically your brand.
That's what we're doing.
So here's your challenge forthis week.
I want you to do something thathas absolutely nothing to do
with your business.
Connect with an old friend,take a walk without listening to
a business podcast and I'msaying that because you know, I
know I'm a business podcast,right, but listen, go listen to
(18:52):
some you know a romance or aromanticist or a mystery.
Okay, do something just becauseit brings you joy, not because
it serves your business goals.
And then I want you to noticehow it feels to be valued for
who you are, not what you sell.
My friend, thank you so muchfor being here.
Thank you for listening.
(19:12):
I am so excited to see what's tocome for you in your business
and in your life, because Ithink big things are coming.
I do, I feel it, I feel it.
I feel it.
I feel it All right.
I'm going to go to the poolwith my kids.
I feel it, I feel it, I feel it.
I feel it All right, I'm goingto go to the pool with my kids.
I hope you have a good rest ofthe day and I'll be back here
next week for another episode ofthe direct sellers podcast.
That's it for this episode ofthe direct sellers podcast, but
(19:40):
our fun doesn't have to end now.
You'll catch me hanging outover on Instagram between
episodes and I'd love for you tojoin me.
So hop into my DMs.
I promise you're not gettingany hate girl messages and I
promise I'm not going to beasking you to weirdly buy
anything.
Send me the message podcast soI can send you my free 90 day
action planner, because whodoesn't love a good template?
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