April 14, 2026 • 33 mins
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One of the questions I get asked more than almost any other is: How do you spend time with God each day? What do you do? For how long? Is there a right way?
Here's the truth I've learned over decades of pastoral ministry: there is no one-size-fits-all daily time with God. The goal was never a method—it was always a life of loving union with Him.
In this episode, I take you on a personal journey through five distinct phases of my own prayer life—from intense Scripture study to intercessory prayer, from emotional health integration to contemplative rhythms rooted in monastic wisdom. Each phase taught me something essential. None of them, on their own, was the whole picture.
Then I lay out six practical pillars you can use to design a daily rhythm with God that actually fits you—your season, your temperament, your calling.
Whether you're a ministry leader under immense pressure or someone just trying to show up faithfully, this episode will help you stop copying someone else's spirituality and start building something sustainable and life-giving.
The best daily time with God isn't the longest one. It's the one you'll actually keep.
Reserve your spot at our upcoming Global Leaders Conference.
September 30 – October 1, 2026
14th St. Salvation Army, NYC
(Live Spanish Translation available)
Register Now: https://ehd.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/3421612
Learn more about the EH Global Leader Conference 2026: http://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/conference
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SPEAKER_00 (01:12):
Hi, my name is Pete Scaro.
I want to welcome you today tothe Emotionally Healthy Leader
podcast.
Our theme today is designing adaily time with God each day
that fits you.
And so one of the most commonquestions I do get is how do I
spend time with God each day ina way that's life-giving and
(01:33):
lasting long term?
What do you do, Pete, for howlong, et cetera?
So, how do I design a daily timewith God?
Now, people assume there's oneright way.
There isn't.
Uh, the key is not copyingsomeone else's spirituality, but
actually designing a life withGod that fits you out of your
context, your temperament, yourpersonality, your particular
calling, how God has uniquelycrafted you in the world for
(01:57):
today.
So the big idea is that there isno one size that fits all for
your daily time with God.
The goal is not a method, it'sactually a life, a life of
loving union with God in Jesus.
That's the goal, being with God,being with him all through the
day.
And I like to call it our dailytime with God as three primary
(02:18):
goals.
And actually, it's the wholegoal of all of life.
It's it's communion, it's beingwith him.
We want to be, you know, withJesus and communing with him,
the person of the living personof Jesus.
Uh, and secondly, we're we'resurrendering our will to his
will.
We're not my will, but your willbe done.
So there's a it's a it's apausing to surrender our bent
(02:38):
will that tries to go its ownway to his.
And then and thirdly, we'rewe're getting clarity.
We're we're listening.
Uh, we're not the goal is not usspeaking, the goal is us
listening.
Lord, uh, what do you want tosay to me?
Is there anything you want tosay to me today?
And letting letting God redirectyour steps.
So uh again, by daily time withGod, it's often called
devotions, quiet time, uh,divine office.
(03:01):
It's stopping to be with God uhonce or multiple times a day in
order to be attentive to hisvoice all through the day.
That that's the goal, is thatwe're just abiding in him, being
with him, listening to him, uhcommuning with him, surrendering
to him all through the day, andall every regardless of the
context.
(03:21):
But we stop in order to actuallymake sure that's a present
reality.
So today I want to talk to youabout, I'm gonna give you uh a
bit of why.
Uh I can't help but talk aboutthat.
My own history uh with dailytime with God.
I've been doing this quite along time, uh, and I've had
phases.
And then what I what I actuallydo for what it's worth, but then
actually, of course, that's whatI'm doing today.
(03:43):
But then what are six pillars?
I'm gonna give you six kind ofkey pillars to look at and for
you to shape your time with God,regardless of the season in
which you find yourself.
So uh again, the reason we dothis is because if we're gonna
be women and men of God, uhfulfilling his purpose for our
(04:05):
lives on earth, uh, we need tobuild into our lives, making
sure we're spending time withGod, listening to him.
So I love the example of Johnthe Baptist, who, as Jesus said,
there's no one born of women uhgreater than John the Baptist.
That's how Jesus said it.
That's how great he was.
Uh and so John the Baptist was amessenger, an instrument of God,
(04:27):
which he had such clarity.
His his communion with God wasat a at a place where he was
able to shut out all the othervoices, hear God for him.
Uh, and actually he had suchclarity about who he was.
He wasn't, he didn't care whatpeople thought of him.
Um, he preached not uh to pleaseanybody or impress anyone.
(04:47):
He uh he preached to thePharisees and Sadducees with all
their education and background.
John the Baptist apparentlydidn't have that.
Uh and the religious leaders ofthat day had the PhDs, the uh,
etc., the money.
But he he he doesn't, in asense, cower to them.
He he's gotten such a clarityfrom God about who he is and who
he's not.
He's got such a word from Godthat he's able to speak.
(05:09):
I mean, he did he should havestarted a ministry in Jerusalem
and built the platform in hisearly, early 20s.
Uh, but he wasted time.
He's in the desert.
He's being with God.
His daily time with God isprofound.
And he emerges out of the desertwith a word from God, and it's
clear.
Uh, and again, he's completelyfree from pleasing or impressing
(05:30):
people.
And uh, he just has a deep walkwith God that he has developed
over the years, and it'samazing.
It's been formed in the desert.
I'd say formed in his time withGod.
Uh, and he doesn't need to benoticed by anyone but the
Father.
And so uh again, he's clearabout what God's asked him to
do.
And he's saying it's not justthat Gentiles need to be washed
(05:51):
from the pollution of theirsins.
He says everyone needs to bewashed, including you religious
leaders, Pharisees, Sadducees,uh, even though you've memorized
the first five books of the OldTestament and you fast twice a
week and you tithe everythingyou do of you of your money, but
it doesn't matter.
You need to go into the watersof baptism and repent and be
washed clean and be birthed intothe new thing that God is doing.
(06:12):
And uh, he actually calls them apack of snakes.
That's how clear he is.
So it's much like you know, theinvitation, the reason this is
such an important topic, isbecause we want to live lives of
that kind of clarity, like Johnthe Baptist.
Uh, he, you know, a person canreceive only what is given to
them from heaven.
John said that in John 3.27.
(06:33):
And so we want to be that clear,receiving what God's given us
from heaven and then doing it.
Another passage, just again, whywe're doing this, is because we
want to be activecontemplatives.
We want to be people who areactive for God, but we're
grounded in Him.
We're contemplatives, we'rebeing with Him.
And that's the great story ofMary and Martha, which has been
(06:54):
written about in everygeneration since the Gospel of
Luke was written in the firstcentury.
Uh, leaders, pastors, bishopshave written about how do I
balance Mary and Martha in mylife?
Uh, being sitting at the feet ofJesus like Mary, and then yet
being active for God likeMartha.
And if you know the story,remember Jesus shows up at Mary
(07:16):
and Martha's house, theirsisters, and Martha's doing all
this work.
And uh she turns to Jesus andsays, Tell Mary, my sister, to
help me.
And he she tells Jesus what todo.
And uh Jesus says, Martha,Martha, you are worried and
upset about many things, but fewthings are needed, indeed, only
(07:38):
one, and Mary has chosen thebetter, what is better, and it
will not be taken away from her.
So he makes a clear point thatwhat's better is sitting with
before Jesus, being with him,out of which activity flows.
But Mary is agitated, she'supset, she's preoccupied, she's
worried.
Uh, and Jesus says, There'sanother way to live life.
(07:58):
And that's what we're after.
We're after being, but like wewant to be uh active, again,
contemplatives.
I like what Ercott, uh, MeisterEckhart wrote in the 11th
hundreds.
He he said, really, the goal isthat we're actually Martha's
from a grounding of beingMary's.
Uh, we want to actually be both.
And he actually thinks Martha isthe hero in the story because
(08:19):
she is actively serving Jesus.
He didn't have any uh what's theword, he didn't have any um uh
aweness or of people who weremonks behind closed war uh door
uh walls.
He actually oversaw multiplemonasteries as well as being a
professor, but he believed verymuch, and I do as well, that
we're to be like Jesus, we're tobe active contemplars.
(08:40):
We're in the world, but we'regrounded in him.
I actually was with a um a monkbefore he died named Basil
Pennington, very famous, and hewas in his probably mid to late
70s, and I was visiting hismonastery, and I asked him if we
could go for a walk, which wedid.
And he used to be an abbot of amonastery, which means he
oversaw the whole thing.
(09:00):
And he was so happy, he said,not to be leading the monastery
anymore, but to simply be amember of the monastery.
He would go into offices, youknow, seven times a day uh as a
Trappist monk.
But he said to me something sofascinating, he says, I really
don't see any difference in mylife between stopping to pray
(09:22):
and do the daily office, youknow, again, seven times a day
in his case, uh, his daily timewith God, and actually the rest
of the day, he because they theywork during a day.
He goes, it's all prayer to me.
He'd gotten to that place whereall of life is prayer, praying
always.
And I think in some ways that'sour goal.
I I've tasted it.
I'm not there fully, but I havetasted where there's really not
(09:42):
a big difference between mydaily time with God and the rest
of my day, because all of lifeis prayer.
Um, and I think you can lookforward to that as you press in
with him.
So um the goal is that we belike David, Psalm 27, 4.
One thing I ask of the Lord,this is what I seek, that I may
dwell in the house of the Lordall the days of my life, to gaze
(10:04):
upon his beauty and to seek himin his temple.
That's a verse worth uhmemorizing.
Or Psalm 73, 25, where he says,Whom have I in heaven but thee,
but you, and earth has nothing Idesire besides you.
Just love that.
All right.
Let me share a bit about myjourney with daily or a quiet
time, daily time with God.
(10:25):
Uh and uh, you know, I startedout uh early with my phase one,
I'll just call it scriptureheavy.
Uh, it was less prayer, nosilence, but a lot of time in
scripture.
I I used books like Search theScriptures.
It was an old book that took youthrough the Bible in kind of a
quiet time.
I don't even know if it'spublished anymore, but I went
(10:46):
through that multiple times.
Every day I take a chunk ofscripture, uh, read it, you
know, journal about it.
And uh I didn't pray a lot.
I prayed some, but I was heavyon inductive Bible study.
It was my intervarsity days.
It was very heady.
I loved it.
Uh, but over and over again, Iwent through the whole Bible.
Uh, that was phase one.
Phase two was I'll call itacademic overload.
(11:08):
Uh, that's when I went to uhseminary and uh spent a year in
Costa Rica, but it was veryheady.
I was dry, it was difficultbecause I was reading so much
theology.
I was in the Bible so muchacademically uh that I felt like
in some ways my formation wentbackwards.
It was so much content.
Uh I remember even having quiettime or time alone with God.
(11:29):
I was doing it in Greek andHebrew for a while.
Uh, and that was my academicphase.
And it was, it was my most,probably my most difficult
phase.
My third phase, I'll call itintercessory prayer and power.
It's after we launched ourchurch.
And uh I was, is I say the firstnine years of my pastoring, it
was intercession, it was thepower of God, and it was out of
(11:50):
desperation, uh, planting achurch from scratch in Queens.
Uh, and while I had been come toChrist within a Pentecostal
environment, uh, I was now deepin the prophetic stream.
Uh, and I had built a cave inthe basement.
I was spending a lot of timewith God.
I was getting words, I was, Iwas listening to God primarily
to get prophetic words uh aboutwhat he wanted to do.
(12:12):
I was looking at, again, fromoutside prophetic words,
circumstances.
Um, and I was in a lot of prayermeetings.
We had early morning prayermeetings at our church, we had
Friday night half nights ofprayer.
I I used to estimate at onepoint I was probably in prayer
meetings six to eight hours aweek, uh, exides my own time
alone with God.
So uh I was super spiritual.
Uh I would say I was almost likea Gnostic.
(12:35):
I was so spiritual.
I wasn't very earthly grounded.
Um uh I was looking for themoves of God, the power of God,
revival.
Uh, but my my spirituality waswas compartmentalized.
I mean, Jerry's miserableupstairs uh as a as a single,
feeling like a single momraising four young daughters,
but I'm in the heavenly realms.
(12:55):
Uh and the church, yeah, a lotof great things were happened,
but it was poorly run because Iwasn't running it well because I
was too busy in the heavenliesuh in prayer.
And there were a lot ofelephants in the room in terms
of immature, inappropriatebehaviors uh in our church, but
I wasn't addressing it because Iwasn't looking at my own
internal issues.
And I was, again, it wasintercession, it was the power
(13:18):
of God, it'll take care ofeverything.
That was my third phase.
My fourth phase, I'm gonna callthat emotional health.
Uh, and that's where integrationbegan.
Uh, I began to bring in greatersilence into my daily time with
God.
I began to listen to Goddifferently, more now from the
inside out, not only from theoutside in.
(13:38):
Uh, I thought I began listeningto consolations and desolations.
How is God coming through myfeelings besides scripture?
I was welcoming emotions andlimits, uh, God coming to me
through my marriage, God comingthrough difficulties and dark
nights.
So it was, it was a time of nowintegration into my daily time
with God in this phase, into myleadership, into my geneogram,
(14:00):
uh, into my shadow.
That was a new thing for me.
And, you know, I was looking atnow unhealthy scripts from my
family of origin that wereaffecting my daily life.
Uh, I was looking at difficultfeelings like anger now and
grief and loss and my fears.
I was paying attention to them.
I was journaling to them.
I was, I was like David in thePsalms, now bringing them before
(14:21):
God.
That was that was very new forme.
Uh, I was looking at mybusyness.
What limits am I rushing past?
Because I'm I'm so busy.
And uh I was looking at mygriefs and losses.
I was letting myself feel mygrief and loss.
And then again, listening to Godin that, much like David and the
(14:41):
Psalms and Lamentations, etcetera.
So, and then my fifth phase, I'mgonna simply call it was
contemplative monastic phase.
And that's when I began to learnfrom monastic communities,
monks, uh, in a variety oftraditions, Roman Catholic,
Orthodox, uh, ecumenical,evangelicals.
And I began then the dailyoffice, you know, seven times a
(15:03):
day.
And I began, you know, I beganto participate with monastic
orders, uh, where again thedaily office, which I've talked
about in other places, uh, notjust stopping once a day, but
stopping uh two, three, fourtimes a day to be with God.
So I'm aware of his presence therest of the day.
And uh so I began three times aday, four times a day,
(15:24):
sometimes, uh, these rhythms ofstopping in the morning and then
also midday and then eveningminimally.
Uh and uh I I get it, I waslearning from different places
about this idea of rhythms thatonce a day was not enough, that
I needed a couple of times aday, so that I could be
remembering him when I'm active.
Uh in fact, I one of the firsttools I used uh was uh something
(15:46):
I I created and adapted, I thinkit was from the Northumbria
community.
Uh, and uh I want to encourageyou to download this, maybe to
get yourself started insomething I call the Daily
Office.
And uh if you go toemotionallyhealthy.org slash
daily office, there's a simplePDF that you can take a picture
of and put on your phone ordownload.
And just to help you get startedin pausing to be with God uh
(16:09):
morning, midday, and evening.
And uh I think you'll find itreally helpful.
I found it super helpful to kindof get started.
That's emotionallyhealthy.orgslash daily office.
But that's when I began to buildin silence and stillness, lectio
divina, in terms of actuallymeditating on scripture, chewing
on it, letting it lead me backto receiving a love of God,
(16:29):
silence, prayer.
That was that was new.
And I I actually entered into inthis final phase or fifth phase
a new identity of being anactive contemplative as a
leader, and that all of my lifewas listening to God.
All of my life was discerningand saying, Lord, what do you
want to say?
Where do you want to take me?
That was new.
Now, each phase wasn't wrong.
I wanted to say that.
(16:49):
I I mentioned five.
They were just simply incompletein themselves.
And so it's an evolving journeyuh for me.
But what I actually do today isis um kind of a combination, I
would say, of them all.
It's uh and uh let me just talkabout that for a few minutes
before I give you my pillars.
Uh now, again, my rhythms noware flowing up.
(17:09):
Um I'm not the lead pastor ofour church uh any longer.
I'm not even president ofemotionally healthy
discipleship.
I serve with emotionallydiscipleship and it's super
committed to it, uh, of course,but Drew is leading it.
However, so I have I'm adifferent season.
I'm I'm an empty nester.
Uh and so, but I still do what Iused to do, which was I start
with I make tea.
I make my tea and I I bring itto my place of where I have a
(17:34):
chair, which is my office rightacross from where I'm sitting
right now.
And I usually I have to look atwhat's my time frame.
Uh, and so how much time do Iactually have?
How open is my day?
And uh so I may have an hour, Imay have a half hour.
So I adjust myself to that.
And then the question I askmyself is what do I need for
communion with Jesus today toconnect with him, to be present
to him, to receive his love.
(17:55):
Uh, and if I have a lot on mymind, I I may start journaling,
uh, or I may, or I may startwith scripture.
Uh, but generally, uh, or I maypray a psalm, but generally I
start with 20 minutes ofsilence.
I have a timer on my phone and Ijust am silent and be I'm still
before the Lord.
Uh, and that 20 second minutesends, and I may go on depending
(18:17):
on how what I'm feeling.
But I just set it with a timeron my phone.
And then I do scripture, um,which I'll talk about in just a
few minutes.
And then out of that scripturetime, uh, which again, depending
on how much time I actuallyhave, I'll go back into silence
and prayer.
Out of that, uh, you know, God'scoming to me through the
scripture, but I'm meditating onit.
I'm not just getting headknowledge, I'm letting it sink
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into me.
And I I journal two, three timesa week, I would say.
And I even paste quotes uh oreven something from a book I
may, I may paste in there.
But I'm uh I'm I'm I'mjournaling to I'm noting what I
what God's saying to me, or Ithink God is saying to me.
Uh it's like, for example, Jerrysaid to me just yesterday, uh,
she says, she quoted a MarileyOliver quote where she says, I
(19:00):
am sensual in order to bespiritual.
She was a poet.
She is a poet, she diedrecently, but sensual.
I mean, I'm alert to myfeelings, uh, all my five
senses, in order to bespiritual.
I said, that I wrote it down inmy journal.
I said, that's a keeper.
Um, and again, I review them, myjournals, occasionally, uh over
the last year, sometimes, orlast few weeks, or last few
(19:21):
months, because I want to sensethe flow of God in my life.
And it's often very revealing.
So again, my morning prayer uhoften will go for an hour or now
and sometimes two hours.
Uh, again, flexible.
So I had a medical appointment,a doctor's appointment uh last
week, and uh I had a bad night'ssleep.
So I got up late.
And so I just adjusted my time.
(19:43):
I because I had to get to thisdoctor's appointment.
So I think I had 10 minutes ofsilence, I had 10 minutes in
scripture, and I think I hadanother five, 10 minutes of just
like meditation of with God andall that.
And it was great.
So I adjusted based on the timeI have, and you want to be
flexible.
And then I often I I in mymorning with God, I'm reviewing
my day.
I offer up each part of it.
(20:04):
Uh, and I listen to God.
I may make adjustments in thatday.
Uh, I do what's called theexamine, which is worth you
looking up.
Where is God, how has God beencoming through my consolations
and desolations?
Uh yesterday, and I'm payingattention to that.
Um, and if I and after I finishmy morning time with God, uh, I
often go into uh, like forexample, I'm maybe I'm thinking
(20:27):
about a message I have to giveor a podcast.
And I kind of flow then afterthat's over into work, but more
listening work, um, strategy orthoughts.
I'm thinking about something andGod, how do you want to unfold
this, you know, churchesactually becoming emotionally
healthy culture churches, forexample.
And I'll just go into that andlook at, you know, what I've
been thinking about.
(20:48):
And then I also review in myjournal uh at times my job
description, which I really callwhat are my priorities at this
season?
Uh, and I make adjustments towhat I sense God saying to me
about what's most important.
You know, you we all have, like,in a sense, a job description,
but it's within that, what arethe priorities?
What's what's most important?
(21:10):
Um, and for example, I may needtime to meet with somebody for
wise counsel uh or brainstormwith somebody who's a coworker,
you know, on our staff.
Uh, and but I'm all I'm alwaysaware of limits, the issue of
limits, uh, because leadershipand any role you're in, even if
you're if you're a mom at homemanaging a family, what you have
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to do is endless.
And uh the question is, whatwill you not do?
So anyway, my morning prayer ismy big chunk of time.
Mid I do midday prayer, sometimebetween 11 and 2.
And I, and again, there'll bethe same components silence, a
little bit of scripture, and alittle bit of silence.
It could be only from five to 15minutes.
Um, I'll often pray a psalm.
I'll go back to a text in themorning, maybe that I'm I was
(21:53):
meditating on.
Uh, it may be a lot of silence.
Uh again, the same principle.
What do I need in this midday tocenter, slow down, get
re-grounded or anchored inJesus?
And that's going to inform mytime.
Uh, so it's not unusual for itto be all silence, and maybe I
just read a psalm.
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And then my evening prayer iswhat I do before I go to bed.
And that could be between fiveand 15 minutes.
And it could be anything frompraying the hour of Father to a
simple prayer from the Book ofCommon Prayer.
They got a few wonderful prayersfor Compline, may the Lord grant
me and those I love a peacefulnight and a perfect end.
And I pray for all of our familymembers.
Uh, and uh, or I'm readingsomething devotional.
(22:35):
I do this quite a bit.
I'm reading uh something or abook that's very edifying.
And I'll I'll I'll just read it.
I'll spend time reading it andpray.
Or I may just simply do an examuh and review the day and how
God came and didn't come, andwhere was consolations and
desolations, but I want to be,I'm just ending my day with Him.
It's beautiful.
(22:56):
Uh so again, like and even justsometimes, like in my like in my
journal, and I'm I'm showing youhere, like like what do I do
back?
Let me go back to morning prayerfor a second.
So in in scripture, I'm gonnaspend time in scripture.
So even that's a discernment.
Well, how do I do my time withscripture?
And I often And recommend to youknow pastors and leaders to
listen, don't they read throughthe Bible in a year?
I used to do that all the time.
(23:16):
Read through the Bible in ayear.
I'm much more interested in thatyou're meeting God in scripture,
not just filling your head withcontent.
So I've been doing uh I didMatthew the Gospel, uh, Matthew,
uh, Mark, Luke, and John.
Uh I probably I've been doingthat.
I wrote down, I realized I'vebeen doing it since 2012, slowly
growing through the gospel.
(23:37):
And then I moved on to Acts.
And uh every morning, uh verseby verse, line by line, uh I I
have pages and notes on it.
And then I go into a corecommentary of each one.
And I after I went through itinductively myself, prayerfully,
Lectio Davini, then I would goto look at like a commentary
like Bruner's on Matthew andBruner's on John or Joel Green's
(24:00):
on on Luke and and um uh uh NTWright on on Acts and Paul.
Uh and actually right now I'mdoing uh I put it in my journal,
for example, you know, Paul, ifyou're on YouTube watching this,
I I ran off the the life of Pauland when he wrote each letter.
And so what happened?
I'm in Acts, and then I Istopped for certain letters
(24:21):
that's I said, I want to I wantto study that letter again.
And so I've been in Ephesiansnow for months, months.
Uh, I'm just wrapped up inEphesians.
Uh, actually, there'll be myintroductory talk at the Global
Leader Conference in September,even though it's months away,
because I just know it's soburning in me.
Um, and uh, so even thismorning, I I was meditating on
(24:42):
uh, you know, uh a littlesection.
I've been last three days wherePaul writes in in uh uh chapter
five, verse 20, he goes, hespeaks about you know, no,
understand the will of the Lord.
He goes, giving thanks alwaysfor everything to God in the
name of the Lord Jesus.
And I just like giving thanksalways for everything, that
(25:05):
alone just stopped me in mytracks.
And I just oh, let it wash overme and just stayed with that,
you know, to God, uh, in thename of our Lord Jesus and every
phrase.
And so I've been on, I've beenon that phrase for like three
days, and I hold on.
I'll lift and move from it whenit's time to move and lift from
it, but I'm just I'm in it.
(25:25):
Uh, and so it's just so rich.
And uh uh yeah, so much more Icould say about that.
But let me go now into thepillars.
I I've got how do you designyours?
Sorry, I should have probably,you know, it's all background.
How do you design your dailytime with God?
And uh that to me, this stillapplies to whether you're a
beginner, whether you're youknow in the middle of your young
adult in Christ, uh, or whetheryou've been walking with Jesus
(25:49):
for decades.
Uh, I think these six pillarsare really helpful as you kind
of shape your time alone withhim.
The first is this first pillartime, place, and place.
So you're basically yourmonastery.
What when are you going to bewith him and where?
Uh, that's number one todetermine.
And again, you want to beflexible as to the place, uh,
(26:10):
because I'm not always in mychair.
Sometimes I'm in a park.
Uh, depend, I've been tolibraries, whatever.
You can be anywhere, but timeand place determine that when.
Secondly, is the rhythms of thedaily office.
I believe they are critical thatwe don't just simply have a
morning prayer with God, but weactually build rhythms into our
days of stopping to be with himin order to remain attentive to
(26:34):
him all through the day.
So, a morning midday complain iswhat I recommend.
This is an emotionally healthyleader podcast, all of every
leader.
I think it's wonderful.
It's because of the enormity ofthe culture and the demonic
power behind our culture thatwant to cut you off from loving
union with Jesus.
Again, Daniel prayed three timesa day.
(26:54):
David said seven times a day, DoI praise thee?
Uh, again, we want an easyfamiliarity with the presence of
God.
Third key pillar is silence andstillness.
Psalm 37, uh, seven, where Davidwrites, be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him.
Stillness and silence to me is acore pillar that you develop
(27:17):
that practice.
Begin with two minutes, whichis, you know, if you've used my
emotionally healthy spiritualityday by day or emotionally, I
think relationships day by day,daily office books, uh, they're
meant to get you started.
It starts with two minutes ofsilence and ends with two
minutes of silence twice a day.
It's a great starter.
Um, but basically, the stillnessand silence is such a core
(27:38):
practice, much like readingscripture and worship.
I I don't know who said it, Iforget right now, but without
silence and solitude, it'svirtually impossible to grow in
the spiritual life.
I believe it was Henry Nowen whosaid that.
So you're learning to breatheand be still.
And that's a whole learningprocess.
But once you take silence andstillness, believe me, you'll
(27:59):
never do without it because Godmade you for a dimension of your
life for silence and stillness.
Fourth pillar is scripture.
I'm talking about scripturemeditating, lectio divina, uh
allowing yourself to be lovedthrough a text of scripture,
(28:19):
letting it wash over you,chewing on it becomes part of
your being.
You're eating scripture asEzekiel and John did, the
apostle.
Um, again, avoiding just beingheady knowledge, but again,
giving, I'm thinking my timethis morning, again, giving
thanks always for everything toGod.
(28:40):
I love that.
Giving thanks always foreverything to God, Paul writes
in Ephesians 5.
And I'm just, oh, yes, foreverything.
And I was thinking of all thethings that I'm I'm asking God
to change in the world.
And I say, God, you're you'resovereign, but I give thanks for
you, Lord, sovereign over thenations, over all of history,
over the universe.
And then I prayed for each of mychildren.
(29:00):
I played for some people I knowthat are in difficulty, but
giving thanks to the Lord, itjust filled my intercession,
actually, uh, for the morning.
Fifthly, is you bring the realstuff of life to God in your uh
daily time with God.
In other words, you bring inyour emotions, like David did.
You bring your triggers, you youbring your conflicts.
(29:22):
That's why you're journaling.
You're you bring your singlenessor your marriage, uh, and you're
journaling about these things.
It's called integration.
Too many people spend time withGod, but it's not integrated
into daily life.
They're with God in theheavenlies, but like I was, at a
certain phase of my own life, Iwas a beast uh in my uh
relationships.
Uh no, we want integratedspirituality.
(29:42):
So you want to do integration,the real stuff of integration.
And then finally, sixth, I'mgonna simply sixth pillar is
flexibility and change.
Uh listen, I remember in one ofmy phases, I was praying the
Psalms every day.
I did it for a number of years.
I went through all 150 Psalmsand I pray them back to God
every day.
Why?
Because that's what the monkswere doing, the Benedictine
(30:04):
monks I was spending a lot oftime with.
I probably did it for five orsix years.
And it became so dry and dusty,I realized I'm getting nothing
out of this.
And I had to change.
I said, okay, this is over.
This season's over.
And I had to move on from that.
You're gonna find that you dosomething for a while and it
doesn't work any longer.
Like that season's over andGod's inviting you to a new
season.
So you want to be willing tohave to change, be flexible.
(30:25):
Um, and again, there's so manygood books out there: Phyllis
Tickles, The Divine Hours, uh,uh, I mentioned my Emotionally
the Spirituality Daily Officebooks, the book of Tom and
Prayer, Lectio 365 is an app.
Uh, it's quite good.
Uh, there's so many greatdevotional aids out there, the
Ignation Exercises, uh, greatover a nine-month period in a
(30:46):
book called The Adventure.
You go through those scriptures.
You want to find some things tolock into to do for your
devotional time and be willingto change when it stops, quote,
working for you.
So again, start small,everybody.
All right.
The goal is not intensity, it'ssustainability.
Again, think of your wiring.
How has God made you?
Uh, where are you most awake andattentive?
(31:06):
Where's God meeting you?
Ask yourself, what season am Iin right now?
Where are you?
And what it's got to fit yourseason.
And uh, what's realistic for meright now in this season?
You have to ask yourself, whatare my current limits of time
and energy?
Maybe you're raising smallchildren.
But the season should shape yourrhythm, not your guilt.
Okay.
Next question is ask yourself,how's my in my relationship with
(31:27):
God?
What's really happening beneaththe surface?
And what practices are drawingme to God, which is actually
draining me with God?
And uh, where do I, where am Iresisting God right now?
Is there anything He's invitingme to right now that might be
new?
And what's my growth edge?
Is there something God'sinviting me to that I've not
been doing, like lectio ordivina, meditation or silence?
(31:47):
And what's a small change thatmaybe I can experiment with in
the next 30 days?
Uh, that maybe some somethingthat's currently missing from my
rhythms of being with God.
Now, again, don't just don'tcopy someone else's um daily
time.
Design a life with God that youcan actually sustain.
The best daily time with God isnot the longest one, it's the
(32:08):
one you'll actually keep.
All right.
So again, this episode, it'sthis is more than just about
quiet time.
This is about shifting how yourelate to God over a lifetime.
And I love that verse.
Jesus often withdrew to lonelyplaces and prayed.
John, Luke 5, 16.
I need and you need to oftenwithdraw to lonely places like
(32:31):
Jesus and pray.
In order that, like Jesus, wecan go back in the world,
anchored in the Father and Hiswill and His voice for our
lives.
So uh again, we want to be mayyou be grounded, may you be
centered, may you develop arhythm for you at this season
that fits.
And may you find yourself moregrounded, more calm, less
(32:51):
anxious, more attentive, moreprudent, like Jesus as you,
your, your purpose, as God'spurpose unfolds for you day by
day.
Blessings to you, everybody.
You have a wonderful day.
And I encourage you again, youmay want to download that free
um PDF to get you started in therhythm of the daily office at
emotionallyhealthy.org slashdaily office.
(33:14):
Thanks, everybody.
Have a wonderful, wonderful day.
Hi, my name is Pete Scaro.
I want to welcome you today tothe Emotionally Healthy Leader
podcast.
Our theme today is designing adaily time with God each day
that fits you.
And so one of the most commonquestions I do get is how do I
spend time with God each day ina way that's life-giving and
(01:33):
lasting long term?
What do you do, Pete, for howlong, et cetera?
So, how do I design a daily timewith God?
Now, people assume there's oneright way.
There isn't.
Uh, the key is not copyingsomeone else's spirituality, but
actually designing a life withGod that fits you out of your
context, your temperament, yourpersonality, your particular
calling, how God has uniquelycrafted you in the world for
(01:57):
today.
So the big idea is that there isno one size that fits all for
your daily time with God.
The goal is not a method, it'sactually a life, a life of
loving union with God in Jesus.
That's the goal, being with God,being with him all through the
day.
And I like to call it our dailytime with God as three primary
(02:18):
goals.
And actually, it's the wholegoal of all of life.
It's it's communion, it's beingwith him.
We want to be, you know, withJesus and communing with him,
the person of the living personof Jesus.
Uh, and secondly, we're we'resurrendering our will to his
will.
We're not my will, but your willbe done.
So there's a it's a it's apausing to surrender our bent
(02:38):
will that tries to go its ownway to his.
And then and thirdly, we'rewe're getting clarity.
We're we're listening.
Uh, we're not the goal is not usspeaking, the goal is us
listening.
Lord, uh, what do you want tosay to me?
Is there anything you want tosay to me today?
And letting letting God redirectyour steps.
So uh again, by daily time withGod, it's often called
devotions, quiet time, uh,divine office.
(03:01):
It's stopping to be with God uhonce or multiple times a day in
order to be attentive to hisvoice all through the day.
That that's the goal, is thatwe're just abiding in him, being
with him, listening to him, uhcommuning with him, surrendering
to him all through the day, andall every regardless of the
context.
(03:21):
But we stop in order to actuallymake sure that's a present
reality.
So today I want to talk to youabout, I'm gonna give you uh a
bit of why.
Uh I can't help but talk aboutthat.
My own history uh with dailytime with God.
I've been doing this quite along time, uh, and I've had
phases.
And then what I what I actuallydo for what it's worth, but then
actually, of course, that's whatI'm doing today.
(03:43):
But then what are six pillars?
I'm gonna give you six kind ofkey pillars to look at and for
you to shape your time with God,regardless of the season in
which you find yourself.
So uh again, the reason we dothis is because if we're gonna
be women and men of God, uhfulfilling his purpose for our
(04:05):
lives on earth, uh, we need tobuild into our lives, making
sure we're spending time withGod, listening to him.
So I love the example of Johnthe Baptist, who, as Jesus said,
there's no one born of women uhgreater than John the Baptist.
That's how Jesus said it.
That's how great he was.
Uh and so John the Baptist was amessenger, an instrument of God,
(04:27):
which he had such clarity.
His his communion with God wasat a at a place where he was
able to shut out all the othervoices, hear God for him.
Uh, and actually he had suchclarity about who he was.
He wasn't, he didn't care whatpeople thought of him.
Um, he preached not uh to pleaseanybody or impress anyone.
(04:47):
He uh he preached to thePharisees and Sadducees with all
their education and background.
John the Baptist apparentlydidn't have that.
Uh and the religious leaders ofthat day had the PhDs, the uh,
etc., the money.
But he he he doesn't, in asense, cower to them.
He he's gotten such a clarityfrom God about who he is and who
he's not.
He's got such a word from Godthat he's able to speak.
(05:09):
I mean, he did he should havestarted a ministry in Jerusalem
and built the platform in hisearly, early 20s.
Uh, but he wasted time.
He's in the desert.
He's being with God.
His daily time with God isprofound.
And he emerges out of the desertwith a word from God, and it's
clear.
Uh, and again, he's completelyfree from pleasing or impressing
(05:30):
people.
And uh, he just has a deep walkwith God that he has developed
over the years, and it'samazing.
It's been formed in the desert.
I'd say formed in his time withGod.
Uh, and he doesn't need to benoticed by anyone but the
Father.
And so uh again, he's clearabout what God's asked him to
do.
And he's saying it's not justthat Gentiles need to be washed
(05:51):
from the pollution of theirsins.
He says everyone needs to bewashed, including you religious
leaders, Pharisees, Sadducees,uh, even though you've memorized
the first five books of the OldTestament and you fast twice a
week and you tithe everythingyou do of you of your money, but
it doesn't matter.
You need to go into the watersof baptism and repent and be
washed clean and be birthed intothe new thing that God is doing.
(06:12):
And uh, he actually calls them apack of snakes.
That's how clear he is.
So it's much like you know, theinvitation, the reason this is
such an important topic, isbecause we want to live lives of
that kind of clarity, like Johnthe Baptist.
Uh, he, you know, a person canreceive only what is given to
them from heaven.
John said that in John 3.27.
(06:33):
And so we want to be that clear,receiving what God's given us
from heaven and then doing it.
Another passage, just again, whywe're doing this, is because we
want to be activecontemplatives.
We want to be people who areactive for God, but we're
grounded in Him.
We're contemplatives, we'rebeing with Him.
And that's the great story ofMary and Martha, which has been
(06:54):
written about in everygeneration since the Gospel of
Luke was written in the firstcentury.
Uh, leaders, pastors, bishopshave written about how do I
balance Mary and Martha in mylife?
Uh, being sitting at the feet ofJesus like Mary, and then yet
being active for God likeMartha.
And if you know the story,remember Jesus shows up at Mary
(07:16):
and Martha's house, theirsisters, and Martha's doing all
this work.
And uh she turns to Jesus andsays, Tell Mary, my sister, to
help me.
And he she tells Jesus what todo.
And uh Jesus says, Martha,Martha, you are worried and
upset about many things, but fewthings are needed, indeed, only
(07:38):
one, and Mary has chosen thebetter, what is better, and it
will not be taken away from her.
So he makes a clear point thatwhat's better is sitting with
before Jesus, being with him,out of which activity flows.
But Mary is agitated, she'supset, she's preoccupied, she's
worried.
Uh, and Jesus says, There'sanother way to live life.
(07:58):
And that's what we're after.
We're after being, but like wewant to be uh active, again,
contemplatives.
I like what Ercott, uh, MeisterEckhart wrote in the 11th
hundreds.
He he said, really, the goal isthat we're actually Martha's
from a grounding of beingMary's.
Uh, we want to actually be both.
And he actually thinks Martha isthe hero in the story because
(08:19):
she is actively serving Jesus.
He didn't have any uh what's theword, he didn't have any um uh
aweness or of people who weremonks behind closed war uh door
uh walls.
He actually oversaw multiplemonasteries as well as being a
professor, but he believed verymuch, and I do as well, that
we're to be like Jesus, we're tobe active contemplars.
(08:40):
We're in the world, but we'regrounded in him.
I actually was with a um a monkbefore he died named Basil
Pennington, very famous, and hewas in his probably mid to late
70s, and I was visiting hismonastery, and I asked him if we
could go for a walk, which wedid.
And he used to be an abbot of amonastery, which means he
oversaw the whole thing.
(09:00):
And he was so happy, he said,not to be leading the monastery
anymore, but to simply be amember of the monastery.
He would go into offices, youknow, seven times a day uh as a
Trappist monk.
But he said to me something sofascinating, he says, I really
don't see any difference in mylife between stopping to pray
(09:22):
and do the daily office, youknow, again, seven times a day
in his case, uh, his daily timewith God, and actually the rest
of the day, he because they theywork during a day.
He goes, it's all prayer to me.
He'd gotten to that place whereall of life is prayer, praying
always.
And I think in some ways that'sour goal.
I I've tasted it.
I'm not there fully, but I havetasted where there's really not
(09:42):
a big difference between mydaily time with God and the rest
of my day, because all of lifeis prayer.
Um, and I think you can lookforward to that as you press in
with him.
So um the goal is that we belike David, Psalm 27, 4.
One thing I ask of the Lord,this is what I seek, that I may
dwell in the house of the Lordall the days of my life, to gaze
(10:04):
upon his beauty and to seek himin his temple.
That's a verse worth uhmemorizing.
Or Psalm 73, 25, where he says,Whom have I in heaven but thee,
but you, and earth has nothing Idesire besides you.
Just love that.
All right.
Let me share a bit about myjourney with daily or a quiet
time, daily time with God.
(10:25):
Uh and uh, you know, I startedout uh early with my phase one,
I'll just call it scriptureheavy.
Uh, it was less prayer, nosilence, but a lot of time in
scripture.
I I used books like Search theScriptures.
It was an old book that took youthrough the Bible in kind of a
quiet time.
I don't even know if it'spublished anymore, but I went
(10:46):
through that multiple times.
Every day I take a chunk ofscripture, uh, read it, you
know, journal about it.
And uh I didn't pray a lot.
I prayed some, but I was heavyon inductive Bible study.
It was my intervarsity days.
It was very heady.
I loved it.
Uh, but over and over again, Iwent through the whole Bible.
Uh, that was phase one.
Phase two was I'll call itacademic overload.
(11:08):
Uh, that's when I went to uhseminary and uh spent a year in
Costa Rica, but it was veryheady.
I was dry, it was difficultbecause I was reading so much
theology.
I was in the Bible so muchacademically uh that I felt like
in some ways my formation wentbackwards.
It was so much content.
Uh I remember even having quiettime or time alone with God.
(11:29):
I was doing it in Greek andHebrew for a while.
Uh, and that was my academicphase.
And it was, it was my most,probably my most difficult
phase.
My third phase, I'll call itintercessory prayer and power.
It's after we launched ourchurch.
And uh I was, is I say the firstnine years of my pastoring, it
was intercession, it was thepower of God, and it was out of
(11:50):
desperation, uh, planting achurch from scratch in Queens.
Uh, and while I had been come toChrist within a Pentecostal
environment, uh, I was now deepin the prophetic stream.
Uh, and I had built a cave inthe basement.
I was spending a lot of timewith God.
I was getting words, I was, Iwas listening to God primarily
to get prophetic words uh aboutwhat he wanted to do.
(12:12):
I was looking at, again, fromoutside prophetic words,
circumstances.
Um, and I was in a lot of prayermeetings.
We had early morning prayermeetings at our church, we had
Friday night half nights ofprayer.
I I used to estimate at onepoint I was probably in prayer
meetings six to eight hours aweek, uh, exides my own time
alone with God.
So uh I was super spiritual.
Uh I would say I was almost likea Gnostic.
(12:35):
I was so spiritual.
I wasn't very earthly grounded.
Um uh I was looking for themoves of God, the power of God,
revival.
Uh, but my my spirituality waswas compartmentalized.
I mean, Jerry's miserableupstairs uh as a as a single,
feeling like a single momraising four young daughters,
but I'm in the heavenly realms.
(12:55):
Uh and the church, yeah, a lotof great things were happened,
but it was poorly run because Iwasn't running it well because I
was too busy in the heavenliesuh in prayer.
And there were a lot ofelephants in the room in terms
of immature, inappropriatebehaviors uh in our church, but
I wasn't addressing it because Iwasn't looking at my own
internal issues.
And I was, again, it wasintercession, it was the power
(13:18):
of God, it'll take care ofeverything.
That was my third phase.
My fourth phase, I'm gonna callthat emotional health.
Uh, and that's where integrationbegan.
Uh, I began to bring in greatersilence into my daily time with
God.
I began to listen to Goddifferently, more now from the
inside out, not only from theoutside in.
(13:38):
Uh, I thought I began listeningto consolations and desolations.
How is God coming through myfeelings besides scripture?
I was welcoming emotions andlimits, uh, God coming to me
through my marriage, God comingthrough difficulties and dark
nights.
So it was, it was a time of nowintegration into my daily time
with God in this phase, into myleadership, into my geneogram,
(14:00):
uh, into my shadow.
That was a new thing for me.
And, you know, I was looking atnow unhealthy scripts from my
family of origin that wereaffecting my daily life.
Uh, I was looking at difficultfeelings like anger now and
grief and loss and my fears.
I was paying attention to them.
I was journaling to them.
I was, I was like David in thePsalms, now bringing them before
(14:21):
God.
That was that was very new forme.
Uh, I was looking at mybusyness.
What limits am I rushing past?
Because I'm I'm so busy.
And uh I was looking at mygriefs and losses.
I was letting myself feel mygrief and loss.
And then again, listening to Godin that, much like David and the
(14:41):
Psalms and Lamentations, etcetera.
So, and then my fifth phase, I'mgonna simply call it was
contemplative monastic phase.
And that's when I began to learnfrom monastic communities,
monks, uh, in a variety oftraditions, Roman Catholic,
Orthodox, uh, ecumenical,evangelicals.
And I began then the dailyoffice, you know, seven times a
(15:03):
day.
And I began, you know, I beganto participate with monastic
orders, uh, where again thedaily office, which I've talked
about in other places, uh, notjust stopping once a day, but
stopping uh two, three, fourtimes a day to be with God.
So I'm aware of his presence therest of the day.
And uh so I began three times aday, four times a day,
(15:24):
sometimes, uh, these rhythms ofstopping in the morning and then
also midday and then eveningminimally.
Uh and uh I I get it, I waslearning from different places
about this idea of rhythms thatonce a day was not enough, that
I needed a couple of times aday, so that I could be
remembering him when I'm active.
Uh in fact, I one of the firsttools I used uh was uh something
(15:46):
I I created and adapted, I thinkit was from the Northumbria
community.
Uh, and uh I want to encourageyou to download this, maybe to
get yourself started insomething I call the Daily
Office.
And uh if you go toemotionallyhealthy.org slash
daily office, there's a simplePDF that you can take a picture
of and put on your phone ordownload.
And just to help you get startedin pausing to be with God uh
(16:09):
morning, midday, and evening.
And uh I think you'll find itreally helpful.
I found it super helpful to kindof get started.
That's emotionallyhealthy.orgslash daily office.
But that's when I began to buildin silence and stillness, lectio
divina, in terms of actuallymeditating on scripture, chewing
on it, letting it lead me backto receiving a love of God,
(16:29):
silence, prayer.
That was that was new.
And I I actually entered into inthis final phase or fifth phase
a new identity of being anactive contemplative as a
leader, and that all of my lifewas listening to God.
All of my life was discerningand saying, Lord, what do you
want to say?
Where do you want to take me?
That was new.
Now, each phase wasn't wrong.
I wanted to say that.
(16:49):
I I mentioned five.
They were just simply incompletein themselves.
And so it's an evolving journeyuh for me.
But what I actually do today isis um kind of a combination, I
would say, of them all.
It's uh and uh let me just talkabout that for a few minutes
before I give you my pillars.
Uh now, again, my rhythms noware flowing up.
(17:09):
Um I'm not the lead pastor ofour church uh any longer.
I'm not even president ofemotionally healthy
discipleship.
I serve with emotionallydiscipleship and it's super
committed to it, uh, of course,but Drew is leading it.
However, so I have I'm adifferent season.
I'm I'm an empty nester.
Uh and so, but I still do what Iused to do, which was I start
with I make tea.
I make my tea and I I bring itto my place of where I have a
(17:34):
chair, which is my office rightacross from where I'm sitting
right now.
And I usually I have to look atwhat's my time frame.
Uh, and so how much time do Iactually have?
How open is my day?
And uh so I may have an hour, Imay have a half hour.
So I adjust myself to that.
And then the question I askmyself is what do I need for
communion with Jesus today toconnect with him, to be present
to him, to receive his love.
(17:55):
Uh, and if I have a lot on mymind, I I may start journaling,
uh, or I may, or I may startwith scripture.
Uh, but generally, uh, or I maypray a psalm, but generally I
start with 20 minutes ofsilence.
I have a timer on my phone and Ijust am silent and be I'm still
before the Lord.
Uh, and that 20 second minutesends, and I may go on depending
(18:17):
on how what I'm feeling.
But I just set it with a timeron my phone.
And then I do scripture, um,which I'll talk about in just a
few minutes.
And then out of that scripturetime, uh, which again, depending
on how much time I actuallyhave, I'll go back into silence
and prayer.
Out of that, uh, you know, God'scoming to me through the
scripture, but I'm meditating onit.
I'm not just getting headknowledge, I'm letting it sink
(18:38):
into me.
And I I journal two, three timesa week, I would say.
And I even paste quotes uh oreven something from a book I
may, I may paste in there.
But I'm uh I'm I'm I'mjournaling to I'm noting what I
what God's saying to me, or Ithink God is saying to me.
Uh it's like, for example, Jerrysaid to me just yesterday, uh,
she says, she quoted a MarileyOliver quote where she says, I
(19:00):
am sensual in order to bespiritual.
She was a poet.
She is a poet, she diedrecently, but sensual.
I mean, I'm alert to myfeelings, uh, all my five
senses, in order to bespiritual.
I said, that I wrote it down inmy journal.
I said, that's a keeper.
Um, and again, I review them, myjournals, occasionally, uh over
the last year, sometimes, orlast few weeks, or last few
(19:21):
months, because I want to sensethe flow of God in my life.
And it's often very revealing.
So again, my morning prayer uhoften will go for an hour or now
and sometimes two hours.
Uh, again, flexible.
So I had a medical appointment,a doctor's appointment uh last
week, and uh I had a bad night'ssleep.
So I got up late.
And so I just adjusted my time.
(19:43):
I because I had to get to thisdoctor's appointment.
So I think I had 10 minutes ofsilence, I had 10 minutes in
scripture, and I think I hadanother five, 10 minutes of just
like meditation of with God andall that.
And it was great.
So I adjusted based on the timeI have, and you want to be
flexible.
And then I often I I in mymorning with God, I'm reviewing
my day.
I offer up each part of it.
(20:04):
Uh, and I listen to God.
I may make adjustments in thatday.
Uh, I do what's called theexamine, which is worth you
looking up.
Where is God, how has God beencoming through my consolations
and desolations?
Uh yesterday, and I'm payingattention to that.
Um, and if I and after I finishmy morning time with God, uh, I
often go into uh, like forexample, I'm maybe I'm thinking
(20:27):
about a message I have to giveor a podcast.
And I kind of flow then afterthat's over into work, but more
listening work, um, strategy orthoughts.
I'm thinking about something andGod, how do you want to unfold
this, you know, churchesactually becoming emotionally
healthy culture churches, forexample.
And I'll just go into that andlook at, you know, what I've
been thinking about.
(20:48):
And then I also review in myjournal uh at times my job
description, which I really callwhat are my priorities at this
season?
Uh, and I make adjustments towhat I sense God saying to me
about what's most important.
You know, you we all have, like,in a sense, a job description,
but it's within that, what arethe priorities?
What's what's most important?
(21:10):
Um, and for example, I may needtime to meet with somebody for
wise counsel uh or brainstormwith somebody who's a coworker,
you know, on our staff.
Uh, and but I'm all I'm alwaysaware of limits, the issue of
limits, uh, because leadershipand any role you're in, even if
you're if you're a mom at homemanaging a family, what you have
(21:30):
to do is endless.
And uh the question is, whatwill you not do?
So anyway, my morning prayer ismy big chunk of time.
Mid I do midday prayer, sometimebetween 11 and 2.
And I, and again, there'll bethe same components silence, a
little bit of scripture, and alittle bit of silence.
It could be only from five to 15minutes.
Um, I'll often pray a psalm.
I'll go back to a text in themorning, maybe that I'm I was
(21:53):
meditating on.
Uh, it may be a lot of silence.
Uh again, the same principle.
What do I need in this midday tocenter, slow down, get
re-grounded or anchored inJesus?
And that's going to inform mytime.
Uh, so it's not unusual for itto be all silence, and maybe I
just read a psalm.
(22:14):
And then my evening prayer iswhat I do before I go to bed.
And that could be between fiveand 15 minutes.
And it could be anything frompraying the hour of Father to a
simple prayer from the Book ofCommon Prayer.
They got a few wonderful prayersfor Compline, may the Lord grant
me and those I love a peacefulnight and a perfect end.
And I pray for all of our familymembers.
Uh, and uh, or I'm readingsomething devotional.
(22:35):
I do this quite a bit.
I'm reading uh something or abook that's very edifying.
And I'll I'll I'll just read it.
I'll spend time reading it andpray.
Or I may just simply do an examuh and review the day and how
God came and didn't come, andwhere was consolations and
desolations, but I want to be,I'm just ending my day with Him.
It's beautiful.
(22:56):
Uh so again, like and even justsometimes, like in my like in my
journal, and I'm I'm showing youhere, like like what do I do
back?
Let me go back to morning prayerfor a second.
So in in scripture, I'm gonnaspend time in scripture.
So even that's a discernment.
Well, how do I do my time withscripture?
And I often And recommend to youknow pastors and leaders to
listen, don't they read throughthe Bible in a year?
I used to do that all the time.
(23:16):
Read through the Bible in ayear.
I'm much more interested in thatyou're meeting God in scripture,
not just filling your head withcontent.
So I've been doing uh I didMatthew the Gospel, uh, Matthew,
uh, Mark, Luke, and John.
Uh I probably I've been doingthat.
I wrote down, I realized I'vebeen doing it since 2012, slowly
growing through the gospel.
(23:37):
And then I moved on to Acts.
And uh every morning, uh verseby verse, line by line, uh I I
have pages and notes on it.
And then I go into a corecommentary of each one.
And I after I went through itinductively myself, prayerfully,
Lectio Davini, then I would goto look at like a commentary
like Bruner's on Matthew andBruner's on John or Joel Green's
(24:00):
on on Luke and and um uh uh NTWright on on Acts and Paul.
Uh and actually right now I'mdoing uh I put it in my journal,
for example, you know, Paul, ifyou're on YouTube watching this,
I I ran off the the life of Pauland when he wrote each letter.
And so what happened?
I'm in Acts, and then I Istopped for certain letters
(24:21):
that's I said, I want to I wantto study that letter again.
And so I've been in Ephesiansnow for months, months.
Uh, I'm just wrapped up inEphesians.
Uh, actually, there'll be myintroductory talk at the Global
Leader Conference in September,even though it's months away,
because I just know it's soburning in me.
Um, and uh, so even thismorning, I I was meditating on
(24:42):
uh, you know, uh a littlesection.
I've been last three days wherePaul writes in in uh uh chapter
five, verse 20, he goes, hespeaks about you know, no,
understand the will of the Lord.
He goes, giving thanks alwaysfor everything to God in the
name of the Lord Jesus.
And I just like giving thanksalways for everything, that
(25:05):
alone just stopped me in mytracks.
And I just oh, let it wash overme and just stayed with that,
you know, to God, uh, in thename of our Lord Jesus and every
phrase.
And so I've been on, I've beenon that phrase for like three
days, and I hold on.
I'll lift and move from it whenit's time to move and lift from
it, but I'm just I'm in it.
(25:25):
Uh, and so it's just so rich.
And uh uh yeah, so much more Icould say about that.
But let me go now into thepillars.
I I've got how do you designyours?
Sorry, I should have probably,you know, it's all background.
How do you design your dailytime with God?
And uh that to me, this stillapplies to whether you're a
beginner, whether you're youknow in the middle of your young
adult in Christ, uh, or whetheryou've been walking with Jesus
(25:49):
for decades.
Uh, I think these six pillarsare really helpful as you kind
of shape your time alone withhim.
The first is this first pillartime, place, and place.
So you're basically yourmonastery.
What when are you going to bewith him and where?
Uh, that's number one todetermine.
And again, you want to beflexible as to the place, uh,
(26:10):
because I'm not always in mychair.
Sometimes I'm in a park.
Uh, depend, I've been tolibraries, whatever.
You can be anywhere, but timeand place determine that when.
Secondly, is the rhythms of thedaily office.
I believe they are critical thatwe don't just simply have a
morning prayer with God, but weactually build rhythms into our
days of stopping to be with himin order to remain attentive to
(26:34):
him all through the day.
So, a morning midday complain iswhat I recommend.
This is an emotionally healthyleader podcast, all of every
leader.
I think it's wonderful.
It's because of the enormity ofthe culture and the demonic
power behind our culture thatwant to cut you off from loving
union with Jesus.
Again, Daniel prayed three timesa day.
(26:54):
David said seven times a day, DoI praise thee?
Uh, again, we want an easyfamiliarity with the presence of
God.
Third key pillar is silence andstillness.
Psalm 37, uh, seven, where Davidwrites, be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him.
Stillness and silence to me is acore pillar that you develop
(27:17):
that practice.
Begin with two minutes, whichis, you know, if you've used my
emotionally healthy spiritualityday by day or emotionally, I
think relationships day by day,daily office books, uh, they're
meant to get you started.
It starts with two minutes ofsilence and ends with two
minutes of silence twice a day.
It's a great starter.
Um, but basically, the stillnessand silence is such a core
(27:38):
practice, much like readingscripture and worship.
I I don't know who said it, Iforget right now, but without
silence and solitude, it'svirtually impossible to grow in
the spiritual life.
I believe it was Henry Nowen whosaid that.
So you're learning to breatheand be still.
And that's a whole learningprocess.
But once you take silence andstillness, believe me, you'll
(27:59):
never do without it because Godmade you for a dimension of your
life for silence and stillness.
Fourth pillar is scripture.
I'm talking about scripturemeditating, lectio divina, uh
allowing yourself to be lovedthrough a text of scripture,
(28:19):
letting it wash over you,chewing on it becomes part of
your being.
You're eating scripture asEzekiel and John did, the
apostle.
Um, again, avoiding just beingheady knowledge, but again,
giving, I'm thinking my timethis morning, again, giving
thanks always for everything toGod.
(28:40):
I love that.
Giving thanks always foreverything to God, Paul writes
in Ephesians 5.
And I'm just, oh, yes, foreverything.
And I was thinking of all thethings that I'm I'm asking God
to change in the world.
And I say, God, you're you'resovereign, but I give thanks for
you, Lord, sovereign over thenations, over all of history,
over the universe.
And then I prayed for each of mychildren.
(29:00):
I played for some people I knowthat are in difficulty, but
giving thanks to the Lord, itjust filled my intercession,
actually, uh, for the morning.
Fifthly, is you bring the realstuff of life to God in your uh
daily time with God.
In other words, you bring inyour emotions, like David did.
You bring your triggers, you youbring your conflicts.
(29:22):
That's why you're journaling.
You're you bring your singlenessor your marriage, uh, and you're
journaling about these things.
It's called integration.
Too many people spend time withGod, but it's not integrated
into daily life.
They're with God in theheavenlies, but like I was, at a
certain phase of my own life, Iwas a beast uh in my uh
relationships.
Uh no, we want integratedspirituality.
(29:42):
So you want to do integration,the real stuff of integration.
And then finally, sixth, I'mgonna simply sixth pillar is
flexibility and change.
Uh listen, I remember in one ofmy phases, I was praying the
Psalms every day.
I did it for a number of years.
I went through all 150 Psalmsand I pray them back to God
every day.
Why?
Because that's what the monkswere doing, the Benedictine
(30:04):
monks I was spending a lot oftime with.
I probably did it for five orsix years.
And it became so dry and dusty,I realized I'm getting nothing
out of this.
And I had to change.
I said, okay, this is over.
This season's over.
And I had to move on from that.
You're gonna find that you dosomething for a while and it
doesn't work any longer.
Like that season's over andGod's inviting you to a new
season.
So you want to be willing tohave to change, be flexible.
(30:25):
Um, and again, there's so manygood books out there: Phyllis
Tickles, The Divine Hours, uh,uh, I mentioned my Emotionally
the Spirituality Daily Officebooks, the book of Tom and
Prayer, Lectio 365 is an app.
Uh, it's quite good.
Uh, there's so many greatdevotional aids out there, the
Ignation Exercises, uh, greatover a nine-month period in a
(30:46):
book called The Adventure.
You go through those scriptures.
You want to find some things tolock into to do for your
devotional time and be willingto change when it stops, quote,
working for you.
So again, start small,everybody.
All right.
The goal is not intensity, it'ssustainability.
Again, think of your wiring.
How has God made you?
Uh, where are you most awake andattentive?
(31:06):
Where's God meeting you?
Ask yourself, what season am Iin right now?
Where are you?
And what it's got to fit yourseason.
And uh, what's realistic for meright now in this season?
You have to ask yourself, whatare my current limits of time
and energy?
Maybe you're raising smallchildren.
But the season should shape yourrhythm, not your guilt.
Okay.
Next question is ask yourself,how's my in my relationship with
(31:27):
God?
What's really happening beneaththe surface?
And what practices are drawingme to God, which is actually
draining me with God?
And uh, where do I, where am Iresisting God right now?
Is there anything He's invitingme to right now that might be
new?
And what's my growth edge?
Is there something God'sinviting me to that I've not
been doing, like lectio ordivina, meditation or silence?
(31:47):
And what's a small change thatmaybe I can experiment with in
the next 30 days?
Uh, that maybe some somethingthat's currently missing from my
rhythms of being with God.
Now, again, don't just don'tcopy someone else's um daily
time.
Design a life with God that youcan actually sustain.
The best daily time with God isnot the longest one, it's the
(32:08):
one you'll actually keep.
All right.
So again, this episode, it'sthis is more than just about
quiet time.
This is about shifting how yourelate to God over a lifetime.
And I love that verse.
Jesus often withdrew to lonelyplaces and prayed.
John, Luke 5, 16.
I need and you need to oftenwithdraw to lonely places like
(32:31):
Jesus and pray.
In order that, like Jesus, wecan go back in the world,
anchored in the Father and Hiswill and His voice for our
lives.
So uh again, we want to be mayyou be grounded, may you be
centered, may you develop arhythm for you at this season
that fits.
And may you find yourself moregrounded, more calm, less
(32:51):
anxious, more attentive, moreprudent, like Jesus as you,
your, your purpose, as God'spurpose unfolds for you day by
day.
Blessings to you, everybody.
You have a wonderful day.
And I encourage you again, youmay want to download that free
um PDF to get you started in therhythm of the daily office at
emotionallyhealthy.org slashdaily office.
(33:14):
Thanks, everybody.
Have a wonderful, wonderful day.
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