Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (01:12):
Hi, my name is Pete
Scazaro.
I want to welcome you today tothe Emotionally Healthy Leader
podcast.
Today's title is How to Spend aDay or Half Day Alone with God
and Why It Matters.
How to spend a day alone withGod or half day and why it
matters.
All right.
(01:33):
So I'd like to frame thispodcast like this your daily
time with God, your morning,midday prayer each day, that
keeps your relationship with Godalive and it sustains it and
hopefully enables it to grow.
But a day alone or a half dayalone with God reorders your
life.
It's a deliberate withdrawallong enough for God to reorder
(01:58):
what ordinary life has perhapsdisordered.
I like the word, it's reorderingyour life.
It's a realignment, it'srecentering your leadership.
But most leaders I know spendtime with God each day, but it's
not long enough to actually hearhim deeply enough for an
extended period of time forthere to be a reordering in your
(02:19):
life.
Think of Jesus.
I mean, Jesus often went away 40days to be alone with the Father
in the wilderness to pray.
We know that he often withdrewto lonely places to pray, Luke
5, 16.
We know he prayed all night inuh Luke chapter uh six.
Moses went to the mountaintop,we know for 40 days, not one
(02:39):
day, 40 days at a time, uh, andthen he would come down.
We know Elijah spent extendedperiods with God in caves before
he would interact with Ahab andJezebel, etc.
Anna in scripture in in Luke uhyou know chapter two, uh, she
spent years in the templepraying and fasting before the
(03:00):
Lord.
And she had keen discernment anduh when she saw the baby Jesus
enter that temple.
So the question is when is thelast time you have had a day
alone with God or a half dayalone with God?
Can you even think of it?
The reason is because if youdon't step out of your life, you
can't see your life.
(03:21):
Say it again.
The reason a day alone with Godand a half day alone with God is
so important is so you can stepout of your life and thus see
your life.
And this matters because ourrole, our role as leaders,
whether you're a pastor, whetheryou're a board member, whether
you're a small group leader,whether you're a bivocational
pastor, whether you know you'rein the marketplace, is to hear
(03:43):
God, is to listen to him.
Um, we we we leadership in in afor Jesus is different than
secular leadership.
We we actually listen to Jesus,Mount of Transfiguration.
When they went up to themountaintop, the father came
down, and Peter and James andJohn were making plans, and the
father spoke and said, listen tohim.
That is the core of ourleadership.
(04:04):
I like to put that number one oneveryone's job description on my
pastoral staff when I wasleading a church, is to be to
listen to Jesus, to be growingand maturing in that.
And that involves the thingslike a day alone with God.
We listen, we listen to him.
So our our environments were isare overstimulating, we have
partial attention, we'reunder-reflective, we're
(04:27):
overcommitted, but withoutextended time, we end up
reacting instead of discerning.
We end up leading uh not out ofuh clarity, but out of anxiety.
We end up doing things or makingplans with for God and with God
that He never, we never madethem with God.
We're doing things for Godwithout having heard him.
And we end up following uhpeople's expectations and other
(04:48):
voices that are not his God'svoice.
And so that day alone or halfday alone with God, it's
different than a quiet time orday morning prayer, which
sustains us, but it's not thatlike that extended time that
actually reorders our lives andour ability to hear him.
So again, a day alone with God.
Now, again, if you're avocational pastor, a vocational
(05:10):
leader, I I would expect I wouldencourage you every month to
have a day alone with God.
I built that into our staff ruleof life.
It's part of the EmotionallyHealthy Leader Order rule of
life.
Once a month, we have a wholeday alone with God.
If you're bivocational, I wouldencourage you to do a half a day
with God, a three to four hourperiod with God.
Now, again, it's not, this isnot to make, you don't take this
(05:33):
time, an extended time with Godin order to be doing planning.
You're not, you're not going tobe alone with God for a day or
half a day in order to improveyour sermons or to work on your
sermons.
It's not to get through yourto-do list.
It's not a productivity session.
And it sure isn't a worksrighteousness where God's going
to give you extra brownie pointsbecause you did this.
(05:54):
He doesn't love you more becauseyou took a half a day or a whole
day alone with him.
Uh a day alone with God or ahalf day alone with God is
space, ample space to be withhim.
It's about space to listendeeply.
It is about space to let yourinner being catch up with your
life.
It is about the goal of yourlife, which is loving union with
(06:19):
the Father.
Remember, our whole life is oneof communion with Jesus.
It's being with Jesus.
It is receiving his love apartfrom our performance.
And it's about listening to himversus listening to our own
voices.
So again, summarizing just whatwe're talking about.
A daily time with God, likedevotions, morning prayer,
that's stopping to be with Goduh once, twice, three times a
(06:42):
day.
That sustains us.
Hopefully, it helps us to grow.
It's all about love and union.
Same basic goal, but this isdifferent.
This is about reordering,stepping out of your life to
reorder things.
Now, you I don't want you toencourage you to copy anybody
else because you're unique,unique temperament, personality,
calling.
Um, so you want to design,again, a day alone with God or a
(07:06):
half day alone with God that youcan sustain.
I'm gonna give you six movementsfor this day alone with God to
give you some kind of astructure uh to plan it.
So again, just remember a dayalone with God, we're talking
about a longer silence than youraverage, every daily thing.
It's slower, deeper time inscripture.
(07:27):
It's deeper emotional awareness,what's going on inside of us.
It's about a wider time ofreflection before the Lord in
his presence on your life.
So it's extended.
So here's a simple structure.
Again, there's six movements tothis, and I'll take them one by
one.
Now remember, before I evenstart, the best day alone with
(07:49):
God is not the longest one.
Uh it is actually one thatyou'll actually do and actually
enable you to grow in yourability to listen and be with
him.
So let's begin.
Movement number one, I'm gonnasimply call you arrive.
Uh now location matters.
(08:10):
Uh, I would encourage you to nothave your day alone with God in
your office.
Now, again, everything I sayapplies to half day alone with
God as well, if you do a halfday.
Um you do uh get outside youroffice.
A retreat center is awesome.
I've gone to libraries, you maygo to a park if the weather is
good, but you want to find aplace.
(08:30):
But you want to arrive there andyou want to transition from the
activity of life and to bepresent, present with yourself.
That's take a deep breath, like,wow.
Like, like you're not texting,you're not on your phone, uh,
you're not doing social media,you're off all that.
And you're, you're, you're,you're breathing like you're
(08:50):
you're here, like, and you feelyour body.
Sometimes when I arrive, I justneed to journal to get stuff
off, depends on off my chest,just to get it out so I can
actually be present.
And that may be you.
So you know, you want to askyourself the question as you
arrive.
Movement one is what am Icarrying into this day?
(09:10):
All right.
So that's number one, youarrive.
That takes a bit of time.
That could take you up to a halfhour to an hour just to arrive.
Number second movement is youlisten in silence and in
scripture.
So the second movement I'm goingto simply call listening in
silence in scripture.
And uh, you know, be stillbefore the Lord and wait
(09:31):
patiently for him.
So just like we I, you know, Iwould encourage you to have you
have silence every day, thatpractice for two, three, five,
10, 15, 20 minutes a day.
Um, but now you've got anextended time of silence.
You're you're there's lots ofbig chunks of silence or
stillness before the Lord uh onan extended day with him.
So uh, because you're you'reresponding to an invitation.
(09:54):
This is this is something youget excited about, look forward
to.
I'll get to my day alone withGod, you know, and God's waiting
for you there.
So you're just like, ah, yeah,you're receiving this love.
And so you're you're there'sgobs of silence.
As much as you need, you'reresponding to him.
And so, and then you're inscripture.
Now, again, I I would notencourage you to do tons of
informational reading.
(10:14):
You're you're you're inscripture for formation to hear
him.
So again, Lectio Divina, youknow, we'll do probably a
podcast on that, but you'remeditating on scripture.
You're you may sit with a phraseuh or a verse for a while.
Uh you may even be so so interms of scripture, whatever I'm
in, I'm I'm gonna bring bigbringing to my day alone with
(10:35):
God.
So, for example, I've been nowin Ephesians for a very long
time, in the book of Acts, thenEphesians.
And so my day alone with God,I'm I'm bringing Ephesians to
the table.
I'm I'm reviewing where I'vebeen.
I'm I'm praying through textsand verses and revelations God's
given me.
I'm just I'm swimming in thattext now for an extended period
of time.
I did the same thing when I wasin the gospels for years and
(10:57):
years.
I I'm just I'm bringing that nowand I'm reviewing where I've
been.
I don't want any of his words tofall to the ground.
I want to take them in.
And I'm just swimming becauseI'm relaxed.
I'm not doing sermon prep.
I'm not message prep.
I'm just, it may end up being ina message someday, but that's
not my concern.
I'm just, I'm just eatingscripture.
(11:17):
I'm letting it wash over me.
I'm chewing on it.
Listen, I I've even brought acommentary with insights with me
at times because a commentary,the right one, maybe a certain
paragraph really hit me.
If there's been a book that I'm,I'm like a book that I'm reading
that's actually God's speakingto me, like it's, it's, it's
(11:38):
changing me.
Uh, you know, there's readingthat we can do that's actually
formational.
And so I try to write that way,like emotionally healthy
spirituality.
Some of you have done, you're inthe course uh and you're doing
daily office, but you're in thebook and you're like, yeah,
you're it's meant to be prayed.
I try to write in a way thatyou're praying and lecturing in
it.
It's coming to you and you'reletting it wash over you and
(12:01):
applying it.
Um and I I've done other booksI'm reading and I'm like, God's
coming to me.
It might be a book on prayer, itcould be any other number of
topics.
Um uh but I may often sometimesin this second movement of
listening in scripture insilence, I've done things like
I've just felt led to go intolike the life of Abraham.
And I ended up reading the lifeof Abraham, or even sometimes
(12:22):
even a part of a book and ashort epistle.
Or uh I'm I'm just I got so muchlatitude here because I'm on a
day alone with God.
And uh I want to encourage you,it's flexibility, it's being
willing to change.
Again, I mentioned like the lastpodcast, I would even go into a
day alone with God and I'd I'dbe praying psalms.
But that got flat after a while,so I stopped like praying the
(12:43):
psalms.
I still may bring in a psalm ortwo.
Uh, but you know, again, I'mbeing with Jesus.
That the goal of listening andscripture and silence in this
second movement is I'm just I'mlistening, I'm being with Jesus.
I'm not trying to get anythingfrom him, but I'm listening
primarily.
The third movement kind of flowsin and out of the second
movement, but I'm gonna give ita distinct phase, and that I'm
(13:05):
calling it attend to your life,attend to your life.
So you've got arrive, you've gotlisten to scripture in scripture
and silence, then you've gotarrah, uh, attend to your life.
And by that I mean what's goingon inside of you?
What's happening?
So, for example, Elijah, uh inhis days alone with God, he was,
we read in 1 Kings 19, he wasexhausted uh at one point, and
(13:30):
he was in need of rest.
And his reordering was going tosleep.
I I've had moments and I've seensend people off on day alones
with God.
They're just exhausted.
And so, you know what?
Your day alone may be a nicegood nap.
Awesome.
That's part of your day alonewith God, is taking a nap.
It's resting.
The Lord gives sleep to those heloves.
(13:52):
Moses, on the other hand, whenhe went for an extended time
alone with God up in themountain, he was he was getting
instructions, he was gettinginsights about the future and
laying down the TenCommandments.
And so he was getting leadershipvision, not just visions of God,
but he was getting direction forthe people as well.
So his was different.
(14:12):
Now I've been doing this fordecades, and I've been through
all the seasons of Days Alonewith God.
I've been, I've been, I've doneit when I was doing Fantastic.
I've done it in Dark Nights ofthe Soul after being betrayed
and deeply wounded and going andfeeling, oh goodness, you know,
I'm in a bad place.
But I was actually in God'splace.
But I've gone there in thosemoments.
I've gone there uh when I waspre uh in a writing season, I'm
(14:36):
writing a book, I'm and I'mtaking a day alone with God, but
I'm not actually writing, I'mjust I'm being with him.
But I was in the middle of likea major project.
I've done it before a strategicplanning times.
Um, you know, I was in themiddle of planning and doing a
lot of thought.
So even right now, to the nexttwo days, we have a uh strategic
planning time, day and a half.
Uh the next two days, my dayalone with God was yesterday,
(15:00):
and I did have a good portion ofthat time was attending to my
inner life, intersecting withthe fact that we're going into
planning and how is my family oforigin stuff.
Really, God came to me in theissue of limits.
Uh, so I'm listening toconsolations and desolations for
sure, but I often will review myjournals about what's going on
(15:23):
in my life, my marriage, mychildren, grandchildren.
Uh, but I'm going back sometimesa week, a month, a year, a
couple of years uh into ajournal.
I'm reviewing what patterns areare showing up for me.
Uh sometimes, for example, somea pattern of rushing, or I don't
(15:45):
have time between meetings, orI'm recognizing that I have a
lot of knots in my stomach.
And so I'm paying attention tothat.
I'm attending to that in my dayalone with God.
Again, this is a time ofreordering.
Uh, I'm I'm asking myselfquestions like, what am I
feeling that maybe I'm avoiding?
Or what's God saying through mylimits?
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Like limits was a big theme forme yesterday.
I'm gonna bring it up at ourplanning time, but let's really
embrace the God's gift of limitsas we have many opportunities
before us.
But what are the, in light ofour limits, what's God inviting
us to actually do?
Uh again, remember, emotions aredoorways to God and limits are
invitations very often.
(16:27):
So we're in there by attendingin this third movement, we're
dealing with the real stuff oflife.
I'm talking about things liketriggers you may have with
people or conflicts that you'rein, uh, your marriage or
singleness.
So that's why the examine comesin.
You know, you're in, you'rewe're doing emotionally healthy,
contemplative spirituality.
(16:47):
We're integrating our lives.
So I've had times, and I wrotethis down, I remember it where I
had a day alone with God and Iwas in there's a couple staff
conflicts.
I was like, I can't sort thisout.
And uh, what was going on?
I remember it coming out of thatsaying, I really need to get
some wise counsel here on how todeal with the situation.
(17:08):
So, so my discernment was Ireally needed outside counsel to
deal with a situation thatwasn't the first time I was
encountering it with a staffperson reporting to me.
And the questions I was carryingwas like, how much of this is
about me?
How much is about them?
How much of it is a combination?
I just need a reframing ofwhat's going on here.
And I came out of that just thatthat you know time of attending
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of I got to get some, I got togo talk to somebody, which leads
me to the fourth movement.
There's only six, don't worry.
The fourth is discern again.
It's discernment.
As you're listening and silenceand stillness and attendance to
your life, you kind of move intothis movement of discernment.
And again, I don't see a dayalone with God or half day alone
(17:51):
with God as primarilyintercession.
There may be seasons.
I used to, my early days, beforeI got into emotionally healthy
discipleship, I was intercedingmost of the time.
And I was studying.
Um, I was doing days alone withGod even then.
Uh, but I it wasn't, I, I, I, Iwasn't like this.
Uh, emotional health and aslowdown spirituality, it
(18:13):
changed everything.
So I'm discerning now, I'm I'mlistening.
What's God saying to me, Pete,in my life, in my leadership, in
my relationships, in mypriorities?
What's Lord, what are yousaying?
And so I'm listening here verymuch.
I hope you've gotten some timeinto consolations and
(18:33):
desolations, listening to Godand the movements inside of you,
the God, the Holy Spirit insideof you, and what's bringing you
life, what's bringing you death.
You've gotten a depth atlistening.
So now you've got a chance toactually really deeply listen.
And again, discernment is notthinking harder, it's listening
more deeply.
It's it's not thinking harder,it's listening more deeply.
(18:56):
And a day alone with God, oragain, if you're working a half
a day alone with God, three tofour hour block, wow, you're
able to hear things you couldnot have heard otherwise.
I often, again, I'm doing thisdiscernment, I will lift up to
the Lord uh the people who in anorganizational chart that maybe
I'm leading, uh uh the boardmembers.
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And I just lift them up beforethe Lord one by one.
And as I do that, sometimes Godspeaks, you know, hey, give that
person a call or hey, encouragethat person to go consider this.
But I just, I'm just liftingpeople up before him.
The fifth movement of six, I'mgonna after we've done some
discernment is respond.
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And this is where I'mjournaling.
I make sure that every day alongwith God, I will do some
journaling about how God hasbeen coming to me, speaking to
me.
And I'll journal that.
And maybe any insights I'vegotten, uh, I may write a you
know, a verse or what how Godcame to me, because I don't want
to lose words of the Lord thatare coming to me.
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That's why I always go back andreview as well.
And so I'm listening in thisfifth movement of responding,
I'm listening for God'sinvitations.
And so one thing I do almostevery day alone with God is I
review my priorities of mywhatever I'm doing, my job
description, what I have thesepriorities, you know, four or
five, I always have them beforeme.
I review them and I adjust them.
(20:19):
I'm I'm always listening foradjustments.
Uh I almost always, and I wouldencourage you to do that as
well.
It's part of being in a living,moving relationship with God,
who is leading us by the HolySpirit, who actually lives
inside of us.
Uh, so again, take a nice deepbreath.
Maybe you'll want to worship,maybe you want to go into a time
(20:39):
of thankfulness as you're asyou're uh responding.
But then you move to the sixthmovement, and that's this.
At the end of your half a day ora day, I like to take 45
minutes, even up to an hoursometimes, half hour to 45
minutes to an hour, depending.
And I make a short to-do list.
So the sixth movement is make ashort to-do list in that final
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time, half hour, 45 minutes,hour.
So for example, sermon ideas mayhave come to you, message ideas,
write those down, you know, oruh I people I want to, a few
things I want to, people I wantto call, things I want to do out
of this day.
Um, I take a I take a normally alook at my calendar, which I
find very hard to do.
And I say, if I go, if I senseGod saying, Lord, you're saying
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go this direction, but this isgonna take a shift in my
calendar.
I may look at my calendar and dosome preliminary work of what
are the steps to get there andhow much time is each of those
steps gonna take and what's theimpact on calendar.
I begin to make some concreteadjustments.
I try to make one or twoconcrete adjustments before I
leave there.
And because I want to do, I wantto respond to God, actually.
(21:49):
And so again, let me just reviewthe those movements because
they're they're they're gold, ifyou can have them at least in
your mind.
They overlap, you know, they'renot always linear, but they give
you some handles for your dayalone with God.
It gets hopefully someflexibility.
Goal, again, the goal is to bewith God.
So you want to, you want tofirst movement is you're going
to arrive, and you're going tosecondly, you're going to listen
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in silence and scripture, lotsof that throughout the day.
Thirdly, you're going to attendto your life, what's actually
going on.
You're present with that.
Fourthly, you're going to thenbegin to do discernment.
What now, how is God speakingand coming through these
different things?
Fourth, and then fifthly, you'regoing to respond, okay, what's
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this mean for me?
And then sixthly, at the end ofyour day, you make a short list.
What what what are some things Iwant to come out of here with
that maybe God saying to me?
It might just be one thing,maybe nothing, but it may just
be an awesome day with God.
But often I find that I've gotone or two themes.
Like really, I walked awayyesterday my day alone with God.
It was, it was limits.
Go into that planning day,limits.
(22:54):
Okay, what's a few things you'regoing to talk about next two
days?
Um, and the rest of it, you gotto let it go for now.
So let me close with somepractical guidance.
All right.
Start small.
If you've never done somethinglike this, something like this
before, you may want to startwith a half a day.
If you Again, if you're avocational leader pastor, you've
got the space.
I would encourage you everymonth have a day alone with God,
(23:18):
or at least a half a day withGod, maybe for three hours or
four hours, but you you blockit.
And then secondly, you put it inyour calendar.
Now, again, I'm talking about anine to five or nine to four.
I like nine to five time if it'sa full day.
Or if it's a half a day, you sayit's going to be, you know, nine
(23:39):
to one.
But a four-hour block orthree-hour block.
I like at least four-hour block.
And uh put it in your calendar.
That's practical, like look atyour calendar now for the next
three months.
Plan each month.
You people say, Are you busy onTuesday?
Yeah, I have a commitment allday.
You're not available.
Phone, text, nothing.
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I'm not available.
I'm staying alone with God.
Uh remember, people say, Oh, Iknow you're so busy.
Say, no, no, I'm not busy.
I'm simply limited.
Um, again, the core ofleadership is discernment of
what's God's priorities for me.
So that's a severe limit.
My limit is God trying to bediscerning of what he has for
(24:20):
me.
And then another practical tipis put this now into your job
description.
Whatever your role is, you couldbe leading, you could be, you
know.
So again, pastoral staff, it wasin their job description uh to
be growing as a disciple ofJesus.
And so every pastoral staff,when I was leading our church,
had a day alone with God everymonth.
And they report how it went.
(24:43):
Administrative staff, and we hadquite a number of them as well,
what we finally landed on wasthey would take a half a day
with God every quarter.
Half a day with God everyquarter, which meant we had to
then equip them how to do it.
But again, I was creatingculture.
We be before we do.
Uh again, we pay you to pray.
(25:03):
I used to joke around, we payyou to pray if you're an
employee.
So it's like the Benedictinespirituality.
To pray is to work, to work isto pray.
We see prayer as work.
It's our most important work.
And then just as you go into it,the expectations.
Uh, it's not going to befireworks all the time.
In fact, you may have a dayalone with God or a half day
alone with God, and you say, uh,I was a bit scattered, or I
(25:26):
didn't, I'm dry.
I'm really dry.
I'm in a season of dryness.
That's fine.
Remember, remember John of theCross's great insight.
Uh, if you've taken theemotionally healthy spirituality
course, we don't follow ourfeelings.
We follow Jesus.
And we get to a place where ourwalk with Jesus is not dependent
on feeling, having goodfeelings.
(25:47):
I don't even look at the good, Ilike good feelings.
But I I love him.
I'm following him.
I'm spending a day with him.
I'm not so much monitoring thatI feel great today.
Because we go through seasons oflife and there are dry seasons.
It's okay.
It's normalized, normalized.
So again, remember, yourleadership will uh to others
(26:09):
will only go as deep as yourlife in God.
So there is nothing more lovingyou can do for the people you're
leading in the world than foryou to spend time alone with
God.
Uh, the state you are in is thestate you are giving to other
people.
You cannot give what you don'tpossess.
You can only give what you dopossess.
And so if you want clarity, youwant to be, you want anchor in
(26:30):
the storms, you want freedomfrom other people's
expectations, uh, you want to behighly differentiated in your
leadership for your life, you'vegot to create space, extended
space.
Days alone with God are a greatpractice to incorporate for the
rest of your life and shift yourwalk with Him.
Now, a lot of us, even webelieve in this.
(26:52):
You say, that sounds great, butunconsciously we've got these
fears of like, oh my gosh, youknow, who has time for this?
So much work's got to get done.
Yeah, God will get the workdone.
Trust me.
But, or we may fear silence, orwe fear we don't know what we're
doing.
Believe me, this will free you.
This will anchor you.
Remember, a day alone with Godor a half day alone with God
(27:12):
reorders your life.
It's a deliberate withdrawallong enough for God to do that
reordering, that recentering,that realignment.
And it will anchor you andanchor hopefully what God's
called you to do as well.
Because this episode actually isabout shifting your walk with
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God for a lifetime.
Remember, Moses went to themountaintop, Elijah went to the
cave, Jesus often withdrew tolonely places to pray.
And so, in the same way, we needit as well.
Let me invite you here uh toslow down uh
emotionallyhealthy.org slashSabbath.
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I like to start people slowingdown, is start with Sabbath
keeping, a Sabbath practiceevery week for 24 hours.
Let me encourage you to downloada free ebook uh at
emotionallyhealthy.org slashSabbath on Sabbath.
It's a great way to beginslowing down because we're
trying to slow you down to bebefore you do.
I mean, emotionallyhealthy.org'sgot all kinds of great resources
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for you, and I invite you to goand swim around that website.
There's so much free stuff foryou available there to grow and
learn.
But I pray that you could thinkabout incorporating this into
your life from this pointforward, a half day or a full
day alone with God.
And I can promise you, you willbe glad that you did.
Thank you, everybody.
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It was such a joy to be withyou.
I really enjoyed preparing thisuh as well and getting my
thoughts actually on paper.
Blessings.
Have a great day, and the Lordbe with you.