Today’s guest is Mary Nelsen-Tamborski, a licensed marriage and family therapist in San Diego and also a certified positive discipline trainer and parent coach. Mary’s formal training is secondary to the life training she got from her mother, Dr. Jane Nelsen, a marriage and family therapist and author of all the positive discipline books. Mary is a popular keynote speaker, and workshop presenter. We are discussing mistakes as opportunities to learn. Join us!
“I find that these principles are universal so they are great, obviously for parents and children but it's also just human beings in general.”
"The lens that we see our kids out of is everyone being equally worthy of dignity and respect it's no wonder that how we treat our kids , it should be a mirror of how we treat our friends and how we treat our coworkers and the checkers at the grocery store. It's about human to human relationships."
"You have to break down to break through." `
What you’ll hear in this episode:
How positive discipline impacts other relationships in our lives
Positive discipline as a theory and the reality of implementation
Mistakes as opportunities to learn and navigating shame
Solutions oriented problem solving versus consequences
Dealing with your own emotional stuff when encountering challenging behaviour
The role of regular family meetings
The importance of apologies
Making amends after we make mistakes
What to do when you "lose it"
Post-conflict communication and rebuilding closeness
Managing triggers and being called out on your stuff
Learning and growing as a family in positive discipline
Assumptions & consequences - 3 R's & 1 H
Brain development and consequences
Genuine curiosity and asking curious questions to improve communication
Curiosity as a way of being
Shedding ego to engage in a meaningful way
Connecting early to keep the lines of communication open for adolescence
Treating your children as friends - a positive discipline perspective
Resources:
Jane Nelsen’s book Serenity
Where to find Mary:Website
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