I'm 40! Now What? 3 Things I'm Going to Change [Episode 30]

I’m 40.  Now what?

3 Things I’m going to do differently.

Turning 40 hasn’t been as traumatic as turning 30 was for me.  

I feel like I have it a little more together than I did back then.

A lot has happened in the last 10 years.

I’ve had 3 kids

5 surgeries

I broke my 1st bone

We live in a bigger house

We bought a rental property

I drive a minivan

I’m not active in the senior living industry anymore

I started 2 businesses

I have to color my hair regularly to cover gray

I lost my 2 fur babies

I’ve been to 12 countries

I wouldn’t change any of those things because they make me who I am today.

However, there are a few things that I do want to change now that I don’t want to take with me for the next 40 years of my life.

Negative Self-talk

I have decided to quit this habit.  This is a serious problem for me. I recently heard a quote from Brooke Castillo.  She said something like we need to talk to ourselves like we are supporting a friend.  We would never talk to someone we were responsible for helping the way we talk to ourselves.

So I’m done.  I’m taking that advice to heart and going to see what it’s like when I don’t berate myself for eating sugar or carbs or dairy or soy or anything that’s not whole real food.  I will do my very best to nourish my body with the very best food but when those indulgences happen I am going to release the stress that usually goes along with it and let it be and actually enjoy it.  

Or when I don’t workout or when I don’t get as much done as I wanted or when I don’t make as much money as I wanted or when I lose it with my kids.  All of these times are great times for me to practice positive self-talk and stay away from the negative.

We all have them every once in a while and then we feel terribly guilty and then the negative self-talks comes in.  But I know that I can do better. I need to stop trying to multitask so much when I’m around them.

I want to have more intentional time with my kids.  I’ve started working on this already and I’ve seen such a difference in my kids and myself. I have fewer scary mommy moments and need less wine. Lol

Scary Mommy Moments

Let’s be honest, I haven’t been very intentional or putting very much effort into my marriage. I had 3 kids, I was just trying to survive.

I feel like we finally have our shit together a little more, everyone is sleeping and we have good routines and we aren’t in survival mode all of the time anymore.  Don’t get me wrong we have our survival moments but mostly it’s manageable.

So I want to prioritize the relationship with my husband.  I’m making an effort to work on our marriage. I feel like we’ve been on autopilot just getting through it and I think we can be so much more.

I love Bin and I want to spend the next 40 years with him so our relationship needs to be on this list.  

I think I will start with more intimate time.  That’s so easy to put off because we’re tired or it feels like too much work.  But it’s important.

Also, we need to work on our communication.  We aren’t the best at this and I’m guilty of expecting him to read my mind. So I’m going to change the way I communicate with him and see how that goes. I’ll keep you posted.

Prioritize my marriage

Well, there you have it.  I feel my 40s are going to be amazing.

These next 10 years are going to have some amazing experiences and I can’t wait.  

I’m always working on self-improvement and these special birthdays seem like the perfect time to reflect and make changes.