November 14, 2025 • 19 mins
A former "trans" kid's story, lesbian dating drama, and more! I react to listener voicemails in this Voicemail Friday episode of the Brad vs Everyone podcast.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
This horror story from a former trans kid genuinely broke
my heart. We're going to react to this and all
your other voicemails, woke horras, stories, and personal life scenarios
in this Voicemail Friday episode of The Bad Versus Everyone podcast,
(00:23):
my daily show where we take on the craziest ideas
from across the Internet and social media, all from an
independent political perspective. Guys, welcome back to the show, and
thank you to everyone who's sent in a voicemail for
our Voicemail Friday episodes. The link to do so is
in the description. And at first, we're going to hear
from somebody who wanted top surgery thinking they were trans
(00:48):
as young as eleven years old. Let's listen to this
really moving testimony.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Hi Brad, my name is Chloe Daring COVID. I got
sucked into the woke mind virus. I was ten saying
that I was a lesbian, mainly because my older sister
was a lesbian and she would vent to me about
how my parents didn't support her. And then I started
saying that I was a transgender man and that I
really wanted top surgery because having breasts made me feel
(01:16):
so disgusted with myself, and at eleven, I got Twitter,
which was probably the worst thing I could have ever done,
and I had a community of other teens and adults
telling me that it was okay to hate my parents
and mutilating my body was okay too, because I know
what's best for myself. And through this, I had convinced
myself that I had several mental illnesses like BPD, adhd OCD,
(01:39):
body dysmorphia, anxiety, and even an eating disorder. I went
to a Christian school, and I had told my friends
that I was now a transgender man and my name
was Ryan, and that if they didn't accept it, that
they were homophobic and transphobic and a bunch of other phobics.
At one point, my very woke mom, who is now
telling her six year old son that he is a girl,
had started to GoFundMe for me to get top surgery
(02:00):
when I turn eighteen, and it's starting me on testosterone Jael,
because my parents didn't want to mutilate me. Anyways, Brad,
I'm normal now and I love being a woman. My
question for you is how do we get people in
my generation to realize that this is not normal? It's
a mental disorder, or how do we get them to
think for themselves and not go along with this movement
because they do not understand the repercussions of it because
(02:21):
they are children.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Well, thank you for sharing your story, and I'm really
happy that it has a happy ending and that you
were sucked into this but ultimately were not put down
the path that you'll see some people where they're stuck
with lifelong changes or they never really realize their way
out of it. It sounds like your story, as wild
(02:43):
and crazy as it seems, has mostly happy ending. I
do have to spare a word for your crazy aunt, though.
The idea that you would be giving a child testosterone
gel without the knowledge of their parents is at least
what I'm assuming from your story. You didn't say that explicitly,
but if your parents didn't want you to do it
and then the aunt is doing it, that seems so
(03:06):
unethical and like such a violation of respect and boundaries
for your parents, and probably criminal. It's got to violates
some kind of law to be doing that. So that
is extremely concerning behavior from your aunt. And then look,
this comes back to a recurring trend where I think
that we will view the skyrocketing trend of child transitioning
(03:31):
will be looked back at like a lobotomy style phase
in medicine where ideology overpowered evidence. A bunch of people
were harmed, and then slowly but surely, the community and
the consensus came around. And I'm just my heartbreaks for
the people that got caught up in it. I think
(03:53):
it is a tragedy. I think it's a failing of
many of our institutions that were not honest about the
data and what the studies actually say about this stuff.
And then stories like yours always come to mind when
you hear people insist there's no such thing as social contagion,
which is not the saying that being trans as a
(04:14):
disease or anything like that. It's saying that teenagers are impressionable,
and they are social creatures and influenced heavily by their
peers and by peer networks, both in person and social media.
And that is true with literally every condition and trend
that we have we're aware of, yet somehow, oh no,
it's not true. For gender, it's totally one hundred percent
(04:35):
organic and innate, and nothing at all could socially influence it.
Gender identity or feelings of a different identity, or that
kind of thing that was always absurd, that was always laughable.
And I think it will still take years for us
to get good data on detransition rates and desistence rates
through this crazy time we lived through. But yeah, I
(04:56):
think the number one thing we can do is because
your question at the end there is an important one,
like what can we do to protect young people? Just
not let them make life altering changes, give them the
time to grow. So if you have a trans identifying
young person in your life or whatever, maybe you need
to let them change their hair or change their clothes
(05:18):
and change their name, but prevent them from making irreversible
changes because the brain's still developing, going through puberty and
coming to grips with sexual orientation or other things. All
of that could result in it resolving, and that's why
you can't be making irreversible changes. So I think it
will partially help the problem. I'm not saying it will
(05:40):
solve it completely if we just gatekeep the irreversible medical
stuff until people are of age and give them the
time to become firm in their identity. Because I've always
said this, I think there's a small percentage of people
for whom transitioning eventually may be the right path if
they have really persistent, long run gender to and that's
(06:01):
no skin off my back for them to do so.
But it is just obvious and undeniable at this point,
at least in my view, that a lot of young
people were caught up in this, and many unfortunately did
not come out with a happy ending quite as much
as you did. So I'm really grateful for that and
grateful to you for sharing your story. Guys, let me
(06:23):
know what you think about this young woman's story in
the comments below. Do make sure you're subscribed and hit
the like button while you're at it, and you can
send in your voicemail at the speak pipe link in
the description. Hey guys, now it's time for me to
put my relationship guru hat on because me and my
grand total of one real relationship and two many not
(06:47):
very serious or healthy relationships gives me the expertise. Now
at least I could say that my one long term
relationship is healthy and successful and here to stay. Maybe
that gives me some ability but malpractice warning when it
comes to relationship advice. But I do think I have
some thoughts to offer this young woman about the situation
(07:10):
she finds herself in with her girlfriend. Let's listen to
her story and then you guys can all chime in
on the comments.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Hi Brad, my name is Ali, and I have a
girlfriend who I love very much and we like each
other a lot, but we've been having this one issue.
So my girlfriend and I are both twenty one. I
moved to a completely different state by myself to attend
college when I was eighteen, and I've been really independent
(07:37):
and haven't relied on my family for anything financially since
I was in high school. I currently have my own apartment,
I pay my own bills, I organize my own transportation.
And my girlfriend, however, she lives with her parents for free.
She has a curfew, doesn't have a driver's license, and
(08:00):
she won't even use public transportation. I personally find that
a little frustrating because she still has a curfew, which
limits the time we can spend together, because we can't
do anything after eight pm because her parents won't let
her stay out that late and we can only go
places where her mom can give her a ride. And
this sort of makes me feel like I'm dating a teenager.
(08:24):
I'm really trying hard to be patient with her, but
it's kind of hard for me to understand being super
dependent on your parents, especially since I'm a little estranged
from mine. But our relationship is perfect aside from this
one issue. When I really love her, I don't want
this to get in the way. Do you have any advice?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, I definitely have some thoughts in the situation, and
thank you for telling us about it. I would say
that I am somebody who I'm very skeptical of the
idea of one thing is not right in the relationships,
you should give up and dump him.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
You get a lot of advice where it's in a
relationship on social media, YouTube podcast where their answer is
always dump him, dump him. And while I sometimes understand
that sentiment, I do think people and relationships that are
really meaningful are hard to come by and are I
should be treasured. So I'm always very pretty skeptical to
say like, oh, this is a deal breaker, or what
(09:21):
I would say about this is that there are some
serious red flags here. It's very odd for a twenty
one year old to not have a driver's license, or
to have an eight pm curfew, or these other things.
And it does reflect a lack of maturity or development.
I guess the flip side, though, is that you're only
twenty one. In a sense, twenty one is very old
(09:42):
to be in that situation, but it's also still pretty young,
so you could give it some time. What I would
recommend is that with your girlfriend, does she have a plan,
like is there a one year plan to having her
own place and to getting her driver's license? Because maybe
(10:02):
these things are things you can accept over a certain
period of time with a destination in mind. But if
your girlfriend is just kind of slow rolling her way
through life in this extended adolescence, and there's no real
sign of that changing or of her being particularly motivated
(10:22):
or interested in changing it, then I think you have
to at some point move on unless you want to
be stuck in that, because some people get stuck in
life and just stay. So that's what I would say.
If you have a good relationship. Otherwise, if this is
somebody you care about, don't give up on her right
away just because of this one aspect of your relationship
(10:43):
or dynamic or her life that isn't where you want
it to be. But also, don't sink five years of
your life waiting for her nebulous someday to change it.
There needs to be some actual action and initiative and
plan demonstrated, and if there's not, then at some point
you'll have to reevaluate that and see if you're really
(11:04):
meant to be together right now. That's my take at least,
but you guys let me know what you think in
the comments, and up next we're gonna hear about more
gender drama tearing friends apart.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Let's listen, Hey, Brad, this is my name is Becky.
I listen to podcasts all the time. I really like
you and you're you're you're very cool. My will core story.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
Is that, uh, a former friend has decided to unfriend
me and my family because we're Christians and we won't
use the feminine pronouns for said friend, former friends, partner,
and yeah, we just we can't be friends anymore. And
(11:57):
she's just like, no, you you've got to use the
pronouns whether you like it or not. And this friend,
I mean, this has been like almost fifteen years worth
of friendship and it's all come and crushing down because.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Our Christian beliefs, you know, demand that we don't use
those pronouns. And here's the thing. We use the chosen name,
and we don't use any pronouns. We don't use the
male pronouns, but we don't use the female pronouns like
we were getting in that We got na habit where
we just weren't using pronouns at all, but we were
(12:41):
using the name. Thanks Brad, it's awesome hearing you well.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Thank you for sending in your message, and I'm really
sorry to hear about this. I hear from so many
people who've had these long running relationships fraid over different
political or cultural or social tensions, and it always makes
me sad because even if ultimately there's no option but
to end the relationship, there's still often something beautiful and
(13:08):
positive about that person and about the relationship you had
over the years that you're losing. And I think everybody
should wish that we could minimize that kind of disruption
and division. But it sounds like you've done what you can.
Because my advice when I was listening to your voicemail
until the end, was going to be something along the
(13:30):
lines of what you're already doing, because I don't expect
you to compromise your deeply held religious values, But at
the same time, you have to put yourself in another
person's shoes and realize that for a trans person to
be aggressively called he or him or man or by
an old name would be an uncomfortable dynamic for them.
And I don't think it's unreasonable that they wouldn't want
(13:51):
to participate in that. But what you're saying trying to
avoid pronouns, I mean especially because when you're with this
person and your friend, you're going to speak to them
in second person like, oh, how is work going?
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Or oh, when are you guys going on a trip?
It's you don't necessarily have to use a ton of pronouns.
So it sounds like you've tried to suggest a reasonable, alternative,
middle ground compromise. But your friend's position is no, you
will bend the knee to my values and my beliefs,
or I'm cutting you out of my life. I would
consider that to be a form of emotional blackmail. And
(14:29):
I think you do have to firmly draw a boundary
and say no, I'm sorry, I'm not going to do that,
and you can decide what if you feel that you
have to end our relationship because I won't allow you
to dictate my values and my speech. Then I'm sorry
that we've come to that place, but I respect your decision,
and please let me know if something changes in the
(14:51):
future in your thinking, because I do value you and
the relationship we've had over the years that I would
love to revisit it if you can find yourself in
a more open mind I did place. I really don't
think there's another option. I don't believe in lying or
like contradicting your values or pretending you don't believe what
you believe just to be nice, and I think on
(15:11):
things that are fundamental to you, like your faith like that.
I think at some point you have to accommodate people
and be polite as much as you can, but you
can't compromise the firmly held beliefs you have. That's part
of life and standing by your beliefs and principles, even
if it ruffles feathers sometimes. So it sounds like you've
been thoughtful about this, and I appreciate that, but I'm
(15:34):
not sure there's much more you could do. Let's listen
to a final story, and this one is a crazy
one about somebody who is apparently too unsafe to volunteer
to help the vulnerable because she listens to horrible bigots
and Meni's like that one guy Bred Palumbo on YouTube.
Let's listen, Hi.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
Brad, I'm Sabrina. I really wanted to share this with you.
I had a friend group that was all pretty much
ready to left. It started to dissolve when I got
asked what LGBTQ YouTubers that I watch and I said
you in a mayor. I then got called transphobic because
you are apparently transphobic. Fast forward and one of the
friend group, the only one that shared more central views,
(16:15):
shared to an organization after getting mad at me that
I volunteer with five private messages during election time where
I stated that I believe trans people are their biological sex,
but I don't broadcast that personal belief and still respect
them to call them by their pronouns and names of
their choosing. I was then called transphobic by this organization,
an unsafe to volunteer around vulnerable people. To mind you,
(16:38):
I work with vulnerable people daily for work. Am I
the crazy one?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Hmmm? Let me think about it. I don't know. We'll
talk one. No, you're not the crazy one. And I
think you already know that, but this story is ridiculous
and it is sad because you would think that the
people running nonprofits targeted or charities targeted towards helping vulnerable people,
(17:03):
that their first priority would be helping needy people, not
enforcing ideological litmus tests on their volunteers. That's very strange
and bizarre behavior. And I would just encourage you to
distance yourself from all of these people and find somewhere
where they're not going to give you a pronoun purity
test to see if you can ladle soup out to
(17:25):
the homeless. Because there's so many places and so many
people that need help, and it is wonderful that you
take the time and dedicate time in your life to
help people, and you should not let them stop you
from doing that. It also sounds like petty and vindictive
that your friend did this when they were mad at you.
It wasn't even some earnest belief. But I just like,
I can't even take seriously the people who unironically believe
(17:48):
that like oh so and so make someone unsafe with
their beliefs. It's giving me flashbacks to when I was
like excommunicated from a gay men's soccer league because my
beliefs about trans people and kids shouldn't be medically transitioned
made trans people unsafe if they played soccer with us.
And I'm like, what a bizarre view. It's not like
(18:10):
I bring up those beliefs. First off, they don't make
anyone unsafe because words are not violence. But it's also
not even like I bring them up. And I imagine
that you are not bringing up your beliefs about gender
while volunteering with the needy, and it sounds like you
one don't have hateful beliefs. And I'm so frustrated by
people pulling this thing where they call everyone who's not
actually hateful or transphobic these things, and they water these
(18:32):
terms down to meaninglessness, because there are people who actually
have hate in their hearts for trans people, who are
disgusted by them and filled with bile towards them. And
I see it all the time on social media and
in right wing political commentary, and that is not me,
that is not us. We just have common sense that
we're in touch with reality. And it's sad to me
and deeply counterproductive as well that they would smear you
(18:55):
like this and put their bizarre political ideology and purity
tests over helping the vulnerable. But I encourage you, I
implore you to not be deterred and find another way
to get back in your community. And I guess maybe
when you're talking to lefties, don't let on that you
watch the YouTube channel of such a horrible, mean biggot
like Brad Pulumbo. What do you guys all think? Let
(19:18):
me know in the comments. Make sure subscribed, because that'll
be it for today's episode of The Bad Versus Everyone Podcasts.
Sending your voicemails at the link in the description the
speak pipe link, rate and review the show wherever you
listen to audio podcasts. Have a great weekend, guys, and
we'll talk again real soon
This horror story from a former trans kid genuinely broke
my heart. We're going to react to this and all
your other voicemails, woke horras, stories, and personal life scenarios
in this Voicemail Friday episode of The Bad Versus Everyone podcast,
(00:23):
my daily show where we take on the craziest ideas
from across the Internet and social media, all from an
independent political perspective. Guys, welcome back to the show, and
thank you to everyone who's sent in a voicemail for
our Voicemail Friday episodes. The link to do so is
in the description. And at first, we're going to hear
from somebody who wanted top surgery thinking they were trans
(00:48):
as young as eleven years old. Let's listen to this
really moving testimony.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Hi Brad, my name is Chloe Daring COVID. I got
sucked into the woke mind virus. I was ten saying
that I was a lesbian, mainly because my older sister
was a lesbian and she would vent to me about
how my parents didn't support her. And then I started
saying that I was a transgender man and that I
really wanted top surgery because having breasts made me feel
(01:16):
so disgusted with myself, and at eleven, I got Twitter,
which was probably the worst thing I could have ever done,
and I had a community of other teens and adults
telling me that it was okay to hate my parents
and mutilating my body was okay too, because I know
what's best for myself. And through this, I had convinced
myself that I had several mental illnesses like BPD, adhd OCD,
(01:39):
body dysmorphia, anxiety, and even an eating disorder. I went
to a Christian school, and I had told my friends
that I was now a transgender man and my name
was Ryan, and that if they didn't accept it, that
they were homophobic and transphobic and a bunch of other phobics.
At one point, my very woke mom, who is now
telling her six year old son that he is a girl,
had started to GoFundMe for me to get top surgery
(02:00):
when I turn eighteen, and it's starting me on testosterone Jael,
because my parents didn't want to mutilate me. Anyways, Brad,
I'm normal now and I love being a woman. My
question for you is how do we get people in
my generation to realize that this is not normal? It's
a mental disorder, or how do we get them to
think for themselves and not go along with this movement
because they do not understand the repercussions of it because
(02:21):
they are children.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Well, thank you for sharing your story, and I'm really
happy that it has a happy ending and that you
were sucked into this but ultimately were not put down
the path that you'll see some people where they're stuck
with lifelong changes or they never really realize their way
out of it. It sounds like your story, as wild
(02:43):
and crazy as it seems, has mostly happy ending. I
do have to spare a word for your crazy aunt, though.
The idea that you would be giving a child testosterone
gel without the knowledge of their parents is at least
what I'm assuming from your story. You didn't say that explicitly,
but if your parents didn't want you to do it
and then the aunt is doing it, that seems so
(03:06):
unethical and like such a violation of respect and boundaries
for your parents, and probably criminal. It's got to violates
some kind of law to be doing that. So that
is extremely concerning behavior from your aunt. And then look,
this comes back to a recurring trend where I think
that we will view the skyrocketing trend of child transitioning
(03:31):
will be looked back at like a lobotomy style phase
in medicine where ideology overpowered evidence. A bunch of people
were harmed, and then slowly but surely, the community and
the consensus came around. And I'm just my heartbreaks for
the people that got caught up in it. I think
(03:53):
it is a tragedy. I think it's a failing of
many of our institutions that were not honest about the
data and what the studies actually say about this stuff.
And then stories like yours always come to mind when
you hear people insist there's no such thing as social contagion,
which is not the saying that being trans as a
(04:14):
disease or anything like that. It's saying that teenagers are impressionable,
and they are social creatures and influenced heavily by their
peers and by peer networks, both in person and social media.
And that is true with literally every condition and trend
that we have we're aware of, yet somehow, oh no,
it's not true. For gender, it's totally one hundred percent
(04:35):
organic and innate, and nothing at all could socially influence it.
Gender identity or feelings of a different identity, or that
kind of thing that was always absurd, that was always laughable.
And I think it will still take years for us
to get good data on detransition rates and desistence rates
through this crazy time we lived through. But yeah, I
(04:56):
think the number one thing we can do is because
your question at the end there is an important one,
like what can we do to protect young people? Just
not let them make life altering changes, give them the
time to grow. So if you have a trans identifying
young person in your life or whatever, maybe you need
to let them change their hair or change their clothes
(05:18):
and change their name, but prevent them from making irreversible
changes because the brain's still developing, going through puberty and
coming to grips with sexual orientation or other things. All
of that could result in it resolving, and that's why
you can't be making irreversible changes. So I think it
will partially help the problem. I'm not saying it will
(05:40):
solve it completely if we just gatekeep the irreversible medical
stuff until people are of age and give them the
time to become firm in their identity. Because I've always
said this, I think there's a small percentage of people
for whom transitioning eventually may be the right path if
they have really persistent, long run gender to and that's
(06:01):
no skin off my back for them to do so.
But it is just obvious and undeniable at this point,
at least in my view, that a lot of young
people were caught up in this, and many unfortunately did
not come out with a happy ending quite as much
as you did. So I'm really grateful for that and
grateful to you for sharing your story. Guys, let me
(06:23):
know what you think about this young woman's story in
the comments below. Do make sure you're subscribed and hit
the like button while you're at it, and you can
send in your voicemail at the speak pipe link in
the description. Hey guys, now it's time for me to
put my relationship guru hat on because me and my
grand total of one real relationship and two many not
(06:47):
very serious or healthy relationships gives me the expertise. Now
at least I could say that my one long term
relationship is healthy and successful and here to stay. Maybe
that gives me some ability but malpractice warning when it
comes to relationship advice. But I do think I have
some thoughts to offer this young woman about the situation
(07:10):
she finds herself in with her girlfriend. Let's listen to
her story and then you guys can all chime in
on the comments.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Hi Brad, my name is Ali, and I have a
girlfriend who I love very much and we like each
other a lot, but we've been having this one issue.
So my girlfriend and I are both twenty one. I
moved to a completely different state by myself to attend
college when I was eighteen, and I've been really independent
(07:37):
and haven't relied on my family for anything financially since
I was in high school. I currently have my own apartment,
I pay my own bills, I organize my own transportation.
And my girlfriend, however, she lives with her parents for free.
She has a curfew, doesn't have a driver's license, and
(08:00):
she won't even use public transportation. I personally find that
a little frustrating because she still has a curfew, which
limits the time we can spend together, because we can't
do anything after eight pm because her parents won't let
her stay out that late and we can only go
places where her mom can give her a ride. And
this sort of makes me feel like I'm dating a teenager.
(08:24):
I'm really trying hard to be patient with her, but
it's kind of hard for me to understand being super
dependent on your parents, especially since I'm a little estranged
from mine. But our relationship is perfect aside from this
one issue. When I really love her, I don't want
this to get in the way. Do you have any advice?
Speaker 1 (08:44):
Yeah, I definitely have some thoughts in the situation, and
thank you for telling us about it. I would say
that I am somebody who I'm very skeptical of the
idea of one thing is not right in the relationships,
you should give up and dump him.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
You get a lot of advice where it's in a
relationship on social media, YouTube podcast where their answer is
always dump him, dump him. And while I sometimes understand
that sentiment, I do think people and relationships that are
really meaningful are hard to come by and are I
should be treasured. So I'm always very pretty skeptical to
say like, oh, this is a deal breaker, or what
(09:21):
I would say about this is that there are some
serious red flags here. It's very odd for a twenty
one year old to not have a driver's license, or
to have an eight pm curfew, or these other things.
And it does reflect a lack of maturity or development.
I guess the flip side, though, is that you're only
twenty one. In a sense, twenty one is very old
(09:42):
to be in that situation, but it's also still pretty young,
so you could give it some time. What I would
recommend is that with your girlfriend, does she have a plan,
like is there a one year plan to having her
own place and to getting her driver's license? Because maybe
(10:02):
these things are things you can accept over a certain
period of time with a destination in mind. But if
your girlfriend is just kind of slow rolling her way
through life in this extended adolescence, and there's no real
sign of that changing or of her being particularly motivated
(10:22):
or interested in changing it, then I think you have
to at some point move on unless you want to
be stuck in that, because some people get stuck in
life and just stay. So that's what I would say.
If you have a good relationship. Otherwise, if this is
somebody you care about, don't give up on her right
away just because of this one aspect of your relationship
(10:43):
or dynamic or her life that isn't where you want
it to be. But also, don't sink five years of
your life waiting for her nebulous someday to change it.
There needs to be some actual action and initiative and
plan demonstrated, and if there's not, then at some point
you'll have to reevaluate that and see if you're really
(11:04):
meant to be together right now. That's my take at least,
but you guys let me know what you think in
the comments, and up next we're gonna hear about more
gender drama tearing friends apart.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
Let's listen, Hey, Brad, this is my name is Becky.
I listen to podcasts all the time. I really like
you and you're you're you're very cool. My will core story.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
Is that, uh, a former friend has decided to unfriend
me and my family because we're Christians and we won't
use the feminine pronouns for said friend, former friends, partner,
and yeah, we just we can't be friends anymore. And
(11:57):
she's just like, no, you you've got to use the
pronouns whether you like it or not. And this friend,
I mean, this has been like almost fifteen years worth
of friendship and it's all come and crushing down because.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Our Christian beliefs, you know, demand that we don't use
those pronouns. And here's the thing. We use the chosen name,
and we don't use any pronouns. We don't use the
male pronouns, but we don't use the female pronouns like
we were getting in that We got na habit where
we just weren't using pronouns at all, but we were
(12:41):
using the name. Thanks Brad, it's awesome hearing you well.
Speaker 1 (12:45):
Thank you for sending in your message, and I'm really
sorry to hear about this. I hear from so many
people who've had these long running relationships fraid over different
political or cultural or social tensions, and it always makes
me sad because even if ultimately there's no option but
to end the relationship, there's still often something beautiful and
(13:08):
positive about that person and about the relationship you had
over the years that you're losing. And I think everybody
should wish that we could minimize that kind of disruption
and division. But it sounds like you've done what you can.
Because my advice when I was listening to your voicemail
until the end, was going to be something along the
(13:30):
lines of what you're already doing, because I don't expect
you to compromise your deeply held religious values, But at
the same time, you have to put yourself in another
person's shoes and realize that for a trans person to
be aggressively called he or him or man or by
an old name would be an uncomfortable dynamic for them.
And I don't think it's unreasonable that they wouldn't want
(13:51):
to participate in that. But what you're saying trying to
avoid pronouns, I mean especially because when you're with this
person and your friend, you're going to speak to them
in second person like, oh, how is work going?
Speaker 3 (14:07):
Like?
Speaker 1 (14:07):
Or oh, when are you guys going on a trip?
It's you don't necessarily have to use a ton of pronouns.
So it sounds like you've tried to suggest a reasonable, alternative,
middle ground compromise. But your friend's position is no, you
will bend the knee to my values and my beliefs,
or I'm cutting you out of my life. I would
consider that to be a form of emotional blackmail. And
(14:29):
I think you do have to firmly draw a boundary
and say no, I'm sorry, I'm not going to do that,
and you can decide what if you feel that you
have to end our relationship because I won't allow you
to dictate my values and my speech. Then I'm sorry
that we've come to that place, but I respect your decision,
and please let me know if something changes in the
(14:51):
future in your thinking, because I do value you and
the relationship we've had over the years that I would
love to revisit it if you can find yourself in
a more open mind I did place. I really don't
think there's another option. I don't believe in lying or
like contradicting your values or pretending you don't believe what
you believe just to be nice, and I think on
(15:11):
things that are fundamental to you, like your faith like that.
I think at some point you have to accommodate people
and be polite as much as you can, but you
can't compromise the firmly held beliefs you have. That's part
of life and standing by your beliefs and principles, even
if it ruffles feathers sometimes. So it sounds like you've
been thoughtful about this, and I appreciate that, but I'm
(15:34):
not sure there's much more you could do. Let's listen
to a final story, and this one is a crazy
one about somebody who is apparently too unsafe to volunteer
to help the vulnerable because she listens to horrible bigots
and Meni's like that one guy Bred Palumbo on YouTube.
Let's listen, Hi.
Speaker 6 (15:55):
Brad, I'm Sabrina. I really wanted to share this with you.
I had a friend group that was all pretty much
ready to left. It started to dissolve when I got
asked what LGBTQ YouTubers that I watch and I said
you in a mayor. I then got called transphobic because
you are apparently transphobic. Fast forward and one of the
friend group, the only one that shared more central views,
(16:15):
shared to an organization after getting mad at me that
I volunteer with five private messages during election time where
I stated that I believe trans people are their biological sex,
but I don't broadcast that personal belief and still respect
them to call them by their pronouns and names of
their choosing. I was then called transphobic by this organization,
an unsafe to volunteer around vulnerable people. To mind you,
(16:38):
I work with vulnerable people daily for work. Am I
the crazy one?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Hmmm? Let me think about it. I don't know. We'll
talk one. No, you're not the crazy one. And I
think you already know that, but this story is ridiculous
and it is sad because you would think that the
people running nonprofits targeted or charities targeted towards helping vulnerable people,
(17:03):
that their first priority would be helping needy people, not
enforcing ideological litmus tests on their volunteers. That's very strange
and bizarre behavior. And I would just encourage you to
distance yourself from all of these people and find somewhere
where they're not going to give you a pronoun purity
test to see if you can ladle soup out to
(17:25):
the homeless. Because there's so many places and so many
people that need help, and it is wonderful that you
take the time and dedicate time in your life to
help people, and you should not let them stop you
from doing that. It also sounds like petty and vindictive
that your friend did this when they were mad at you.
It wasn't even some earnest belief. But I just like,
I can't even take seriously the people who unironically believe
(17:48):
that like oh so and so make someone unsafe with
their beliefs. It's giving me flashbacks to when I was
like excommunicated from a gay men's soccer league because my
beliefs about trans people and kids shouldn't be medically transitioned
made trans people unsafe if they played soccer with us.
And I'm like, what a bizarre view. It's not like
(18:10):
I bring up those beliefs. First off, they don't make
anyone unsafe because words are not violence. But it's also
not even like I bring them up. And I imagine
that you are not bringing up your beliefs about gender
while volunteering with the needy, and it sounds like you
one don't have hateful beliefs. And I'm so frustrated by
people pulling this thing where they call everyone who's not
actually hateful or transphobic these things, and they water these
(18:32):
terms down to meaninglessness, because there are people who actually
have hate in their hearts for trans people, who are
disgusted by them and filled with bile towards them. And
I see it all the time on social media and
in right wing political commentary, and that is not me,
that is not us. We just have common sense that
we're in touch with reality. And it's sad to me
and deeply counterproductive as well that they would smear you
(18:55):
like this and put their bizarre political ideology and purity
tests over helping the vulnerable. But I encourage you, I
implore you to not be deterred and find another way
to get back in your community. And I guess maybe
when you're talking to lefties, don't let on that you
watch the YouTube channel of such a horrible, mean biggot
like Brad Pulumbo. What do you guys all think? Let
(19:18):
me know in the comments. Make sure subscribed, because that'll
be it for today's episode of The Bad Versus Everyone Podcasts.
Sending your voicemails at the link in the description the
speak pipe link, rate and review the show wherever you
listen to audio podcasts. Have a great weekend, guys, and
we'll talk again real soon
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