3756 With the Best of Intentions

Marriage is hard. That’s the unvarnished truth. But it can also be incredible—deep, rewarding, and wildly fulfilling. But here’s the catch: most couples don’t realize that the key to a strong marriage isn’t just in what you do, but how you do it. And that “how” has to come with the best of intentions.

Too often, what drives interactions between partners isn’t goodwill but defense. It’s a silent scoreboard where each quietly aims to win or at least not lose.

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You hold back, you guard your words, you strike first in the battle of “who’s right,” all because losing feels like the end of the world.

But let me be clear—this mindset never wins in a marriage, no matter how “right” you think you are. Instead, it chips away at trust and love, leaving wounds too deep to heal quickly.

So, how does one shift from the battlefield mentality to intentional, sincere partnership?

It starts with using your words and actions with the best possible intentions. 

The K.I.S.S. ~ Bring intention back into your marriage!

That doesn’t mean being naive or pretending everything is perfect. It means the following:

• Choosing love over ego
• Connection over winning
• Growth over blame

Here are three things any partner can do to bring intention back into marriage:

1. Speak to Connect, Not to Correct
   We all want to be heard. But the instant we start framing our words as accusations or demands, the other partner goes on the defensive. Instead, lead conversations from a place of curiosity and care. Ask questions, listen more than you talk, and assume the best in your partner—even when it’s hard. Your goal isn’t to score a point; it’s to deepen understanding.

2. Act with Awareness and Empathy
   Intentions show up in actions just as much as words. Before responding, reacting, or making decisions, pause. Ask yourself: What does my partner need right now? How can I make this moment better, not worse? Small gestures—offering help, holding space, saying “I see you”—can rewrite the story of your day and your relationship when done thoughtfully. But be careful not to do it out of spite. That's when the ego shows up!

3. Choose Solutions Over Defensiveness
   When conflict arises, don’t let pride or the need to be “right” steer your actions. Instead, team up to find answers. Remember, you’re in this together, not opponents in a duel. Approach problems with “how can we fix this?” instead of “who caused this?” Shifting from blame to solutions builds resilience and trust.

Marriage is not automatic. It demands initiative and intention every single day. Without that, your relationship drifts into a bland routine, becoming a placeholder rather than a partnership worth fighting for.

So ask yourself—if your marriage just exists without purpose, what’s the point of being married at all?

Take AIM: Act with Intent, Intuition, and Mindfulness for your marriage. Make choices that serve the whole, not just yourself. Speak words that heal, act in ways that nurture, and handle conflicts with a desire to build—not break down.

With the best of intentions, marriage doesn’t just survive—it thrives.