June 30, 2025 • 20 mins
You get it, you need to let go. But how do you actually step back, stop micromanaging and see what your team can really do?
In this episode, we share actionable ways to reduce your workload, delegate the right tasks, and leave work stress at the office. Learn how you might be getting in your own way and why letting your practice fail is the first step to real growth!
Topics discussed in this episode:
- Why letting go is so hard for practice owners
- How to manage the guilt of letting go
- Exercises to redefine your role and delegate effectively
- Why you should let your practice fail
- Building your perfect work week
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Paul Etchison (00:02):
Is your owner brain always turned on?
Are you working late nights orweekends, or when you should be
relaxing and spending time withyour family?
A lot of us struggle to shut itoff, but it can be done, I
promise you.
In this episode with the DPHcoaches, we're gonna talk about
how you can let go and finallyachieve that freedom that made
you wanna be a practice owner inthe first place.
(00:22):
You'll get two exercises thatyou can do today to start
delegating the right tasks andstop being the bottleneck in
your practice.
This is going to change the wayyou run your business, so stay
with us.
You are listening to the DentalPractice Heroes podcast, where
we teach dentists how to stepback from the chair, empower
their team and build a practicethat gives them their life back.
(00:43):
I'm your host, dr Paul Etcheson, dental coach, author of two
books on dental practicemanagement and owner of a large
four-doctor practice that runswith ease, while I work just one
clinical day a week.
If you're ready for a practicethat supports your life instead
of consuming it, you're in theright place.
My team of legendary dentalcoaches and I are here to guide
you on your path fromoverwhelmed owner to dental
(01:05):
practice hero.
Let's get started.
Welcome back to the DentalPractice Heroes podcast.
I am your host, dr PaulEdgerton, joined by my DPH
coaches, dr Henry Ernst and DrSteve Markowitz all three of us
running associate-drivenpractices Steve with a group,
and Henry and I with large solopractices and just teaching our
(01:29):
listeners how to run a practiceand where you can get the
freedom that you want anddeserve and live the life that
you want.
So here we are.
We're talking today about theart of letting go.
I was reading a book recently.
I can't remember what the nameof the book was, but it was
talking about this whole idea ofloving what you do and how the
whole Steve Jobs speech that's Ithink it was Stanford or
(01:50):
something like that at thecommencement speech and they
said you know you got to lovewhat you do because then you
don't work a day in your life.
You know what it's like whenyou love what you do and you
don't work a day in your life.
He's like you shut out everyother part of your life.
You take everything that happensat what you do very personally
and you're a miserable son of abitch, and that's what makes me
think of as practice owners or alot of us have a hard time
(02:13):
letting go of our practice, andI'm not saying letting go like
get rid of it, but staying toshut it off.
And how many practice owners dowe see that we go home and they
say I can't shut it off, Idon't know how to go home and
not just keep thinking about it.
So that's what I'd like to talkabout today.
So I'll go to you first, henry.
Has that been something thatyou've struggled with in your
career?
No, doubt.
Henry Ernst (02:34):
You know I have four kids.
Three are older and there wereparts where I was just so in the
woods and working six days andexpanded hours, practice, where
you just you just lose focus andit's really really hard.
You're just so in the momentthat just life goes by and you
know it wasn't until I reallyhad some good mentors that you
know taught me some things andstepping away from, from the
(02:57):
business and establishingleadership and all this stuff
that really just changed my lifeand changed my focus.
And it can get really, reallyhard if you're on that hamster
wheel to have somebody tap youon the shoulder and say, dude,
you need to get some morebalance in your life.
Paul Etchison (03:11):
Well, it's like it's normal.
It's like we can all agree thatit's normal to go through those
things, but it's not normal tocontinue.
You know like that whole ideaof that.
You know your parents.
It's not your parents' faultthat you're messed up, but it's
your fault that you're stillmessed up, or something like
that.
I don't think I said that right, but hopefully that resonates
with somebody.
Steven Markowitz (03:29):
I think what I heard is that you're messed up.
Henry Ernst (03:31):
I heard messed up a couple of times.
I need help.
But it's really hard becauseyou think about it.
It's a lot worse with the newerdentists coming out.
We have such a nut that'sbehind us, the loans that we
took out, or we practice loans,or we got to make this amount of
money to take care of ourfamily and stuff like that.
So it's really scary.
I know in my instance wheresomebody said, okay, you need to
(03:52):
work two days less every weekand you're going to be better
off, and somebody's just likegot a magic wand to tell you
that and if you establish apractice like we always talk
about, that can run on its own,it gives you that fuel to do
that and to step awayintentionally.
Right, that's the thing Inoticed is Dennis will say
coaching clients like, oh, I'mgoing to step away a couple of
(04:13):
days.
Well, what happens?
They go into the office andthey're still sitting there,
right?
No, you're not allowed to be inthe office either.
You got to be totally away fromthe office and dude, shut off
your phone for a couple hourstoo, and take that me time.
That's non negotiable.
Steven Markowitz (04:25):
Steve, have you ever struggled letting go?
Always, I'm still strugglingwith it.
You know when, when you talk toentrepreneurs not just dentists
and they, they say like why areyou doing this and and why is
it so important for you to keepgrowing?
And whatever, whatever thosequestions are, and they're like
I'm doing it for my family and Ijust want to take them by the
neck and I'm like that's suchbullshit Totally.
Like if you, if it was reallyfor your family, you would have
(04:46):
stopped when you were 10 yearsago, when you had that balance.
So it's not about people aremistaken, their why.
A lot of it is just our ownegos or our own insecurities of
what we think defines us.
And then this thing that webuilt, that we can control,
helps us create this identity oflike we're successful, we're a
(05:09):
boss, we're a leader.
Whatever we tell the story wetell ourself and that is what
makes it so hard to let go isthat everything that we have
done to this point has createdthis.
What we think is this perfectdental practice that's created
this great life for us, and thatwe're able to control every
(05:29):
little piece of it.
So when we have to let gobecause it's either the practice
has grown beyond our leadershipcapabilities or we are at a new
season in our life where weneed to spend more time at home
or our kids or our familiesexpecting more of us, now we're
like all right, how do I let go?
I just, oh, I just don't showup.
(05:50):
Is that how I let go?
But that also hurts because nowI feel guilty when I'm not
there and I just am neverpresent anywhere.
I felt guilty when I was at thepractice.
I felt guilty when I wasn't atthe practice and when I truly
felt like I was able to let go.
What happened was I was like,oh shit, I must not care anymore
.
I must not care about mypractice because I'm not
(06:13):
worrying about it.
And then this was where, for me, therapy helped me a ton.
It was like you can actuallycare a ton about something and
not worry about it.
Those are mutually exclusivethings.
Hair and worry are verydifferent and I think that was
the thing I needed to get over.
To truly let go was all right.
How do I know I care aboutsomething but also not worry
(06:36):
about it because I've let go andI can be present when I'm not
there?
That concept of care versusworry was the thing that
propelled me to be able to startto have that be a reality for
myself.
Paul Etchison (06:48):
I love that you said that, because I feel that
guilt, and I would say Icurrently feel that guilt right
now that I must not care aboutmy practice because I'm just not
there as much.
And I do still care about it.
And I thought after I sold it Iwould stop caring.
I still care and, henry, I knowyou can share the same thing.
You sold your practice, henryand I both sold two groups and
(07:10):
we still both very much careabout our practices.
I think it's one of those things.
It's like you mentioned we doall these things and it gets us
to a certain level of successand then we think we can't
achieve that same level ofsuccess unless we continue to
stay in it.
And I can tell you now I'mbarely in my practice, but when
(07:30):
I remember when I was there allthe time and it's all I did.
I don't even know if my teameven remembers that, but you
know who does remember, that ismy wife and my oldest.
My wife and my oldest rememberit and not for the reasons I
want them to, when you reallythink about what it matters.
I know it's easy to say, butlife goes by fast.
The title of our episode is howto Let Go.
So we've all struggled withthis, but I'm just going to go
back to you, steve, so you saidyou were working through it
(07:52):
right now.
Steven Markowitz (08:01):
I started to do these exercises of
understanding what is it thatonly I can do in my practice and
what does that look like andhow can I do that in that fits
the buckets of my financialgoals, my time goals, all of the
things that I need.
So for me, I know it's doctors.
I can find doctors, I can findpractices and I can train up
doctors.
That's where I need to be.
The other stuff, whether Iworry about it or care about it
or do it all day, it doesn'tmove the needle and I had to
(08:22):
learn that through experienceand watching it me not delegate
it and not have it cause thepractice or the business to go
backwards to really understand.
But I really needed to spendtime and understand what only I
could do and then make sure thatthe people that were taking on
those things had enough supportto do it.
(08:44):
It's just the art of delegation.
But the first step for me waswhat is that one thing or three
things that I need to be doingin the practice?
Paul Etchison (08:52):
How much time do you spend doing that each week?
Steven Markowitz (08:55):
With my doctors, mm-hmm, the majority of
my work days.
Yeah, if I'm not talking to you, paul and henry, then I'm
talking to doctors, yeah, ortherapists mostly therapists.
Henry Ernst (09:07):
Henry, what do you say, man, like what has been
your secret to get letting gowell, I think, just making sure
I'm not a perfectionist right,we always want things done,
great, but the old line I alwaysheard is, if somebody can, you
can train somebody to dosomething to take your place,
and they can do it 80 percent ofyour abilities to start with.
Be happy with it, becauseyou're not doing it, you can
move on to something else.
I did a similar exercise thatyou're talking about, steve,
(09:29):
where I kind of took and I dothis for sometimes, people when
they feel overwhelmed in aposition like take a list of
tasks, maybe put a notebook padby your desk at work and just
any task that you do, write itdown, and at the end of a week
you have all, like, mundane andimportant tasks that you
normally have to do and put themin four different boxes.
Right, the first box could beI'm really good at it and I like
doing it.
(09:49):
I'm really good at it and Ihate doing it.
I'm bad at it, you know, youknow where I'm going and take
the ones that you hate, the onesthat you hate, and just
automatically make a plan to getrid of those off of your plate.
Cause number one is that'llmake us happy, cause let's get
rid of the shit that we hate todo.
And then, if you go along thatcycle more and more, don't be a
perfectionist.
Get rid of the stuff that youdon't.
(10:10):
You know that you can, cansiphon off in a good way, and
that's just going to make you abetter person, a happier person.
I kind of look at it.
Somebody mentioned to me thehyphen On our tombstone.
Right, there's a hyphen.
It says Henry Ernst, born 1975to whatever that death date is.
What did you do in that hyphen?
Right?
Is my tombstone going to saydentist?
I hope not, because I want tobe a father, I want to be a good
(10:34):
husband, I want to have youknow good things.
That's not a dentist doesn'tdefine who I am.
And going the path where I wasjust head down, working six days
a week, it was leading me tosomething like that.
So you have to make thatimportant step, to make it
intentional.
And the other thing my wife andI did and this was pre-saling
(10:56):
the practices we did an exercisewhere she wrote down a list of
things that she wanted to doitems, new hobbies and we also
wrote down a perfect week.
If you didn't have to work,what does your perfect week look
like Like, hey, I wanna go tothe gym at 9 am, I wanna go take
a walk, I wanna, like you know,whatever that looks like.
And the both of us did itwithout each other's knowledge
and we had so many things thatwere so similar, kind of like
stepbrothers.
Did we just become best friends, you know?
(11:24):
So that was one of the thingsthat led us to say, hey, we want
to live by the beach, right,and we accomplished that goal
and you know, now we're aneight-minute walk from the beach
, but I can still work my twodays a week in the practice and,
like you said, paul, I stillcare a lot about it.
I'm still the leader of the.
You know the monthly meetingsthat we have, the quarterly
meetings and stuff like that,and I'm on the EOS meetings once
a week, whether it's by Zoom orI'm actually there.
So there's ways that you canaccomplish this.
(11:45):
It just it takes you.
Being intentional, I think, isthe most important part.
Paul Etchison (11:50):
Yeah, I think the intentionality is like the big
thing from what both of you guysare saying is that this is like
the sort of stuff like workingwith a coach and these are the
things we do with our clients is.
You could say Steve mentionedwhat is the only thing I can do
that nobody else can do.
And then, Henry, what are thethings that I want?
What does my perfect week looklike?
(12:10):
These are like coaching things,and this is where you're
sitting down, giving it the timeand mental energy it deserves.
I remember therapy has been hugefor me as well.
It helps so much has been hugefor me as well is like it helps
so much.
And when I, if I tell you whatmy therapist tells me, you would
say no shit, dumb ass, youneeded to pay somebody to do
that.
And I will tell you yes, I didneed to pay somebody to point
that out, because it's like whenyou see a lesion that you
(12:33):
missed on an x-ray and you goback and look at it a year ago,
you go, damn it, there it was.
How did I not see it before?
Well, you didn't see it, youmissed it, and that's how it is
like seeing a therapist, but ithelps to sort these things out
and see where these feelings andstuff come from.
I'm just being completely honest.
I don't spend enough timeworking with my doctors and I
need to spend more time workingwith doctors, which is why the
(12:53):
current what I'm doing at mypractice right now is I'm
stopped all ortho cases.
I'm trying to phase out orthoand I'm trying to phase out
clinical, because I know thereare parts of my practice being
neglected that only I can do andI don't have the time when I'm
there to do it.
And because of the podcast andcoaching, I don't have my days
off.
So a lot of people might saywell, you're never at the
practice.
You must be sitting on your assall day.
(13:14):
I assure you I'm not.
I'm here with Stephen Henry.
I'm here with Stephen Henry,Still sitting on your ass,
though I'm sitting on.
I'm going to stand up now.
Stand up.
Can you guys hear?
Henry Ernst (13:22):
that yes, look at that.
Look at that production value.
Steven Markowitz (13:27):
Oh my goodness , we're making it.
Paul Etchison (13:28):
I don't know if that's going to record on the
track, but I just had a little.
I got this.
I should use that more, butyeah, so I think the thing is is
like figuring out how do youlet go is you've got to be
comfortable with it in yourself,but you got to realize that you
letting go and getting out ofthe way is not going to crash
and burn your practice, andyou've got to set up the
delegation properly to do that.
Steven Markowitz (13:48):
And you're going to learn, even if it's
never going to crash and burn,but like those failures, that's
going to help you actually learnwhere the bottlenecks in your
practice are.
So you have to be okay withletting it fail a little bit to
the point where you can actuallylearn.
If you're going to be in thereand you're going to do
everything and there's nevergoing to be a light that's going
(14:09):
to be out in your practice,you'll never fully understand
when or how to step away or letgo, and I don't think that
letting go means being thereless.
You can do both.
If you really love clinicaldentistry and you want to do it
four plus days a week, by allmeans go, do it Like, but then
(14:30):
let someone else do other partsof your practice that you might
hate and empower them and letthem mess up, truly mess up, and
then be able to pivot and coachand build up your team around
you.
And I think that's true.
Letting go is truly enjoyingwhere you are, when you're there
, and that for most not justdentist owners, but for most
(14:55):
people is really hard to do.
Henry Ernst (14:57):
Yeah, and I would say it's not gonna happen
overnight.
We'll take little wins.
So I think we're listening tothis podcast.
You could be somebody who has aone, you know one doctor
practice and there's four orfive chairs and you're not a
huge person that has like sixoffices or 18 chairs or
something like that.
You know.
But how do I do that?
I had a coaching client thatwe're working with now and you
(15:18):
know she goes home and on theweekend she's doing insurance
statements and she's doing this.
I said wait a minute, and I hadher do that exercise I
mentioned before and we're justgetting rid of a few things a
month and we're getting wins.
Hey, I've successfullyoff-boarded these four or five
things.
So step number one in theshort-term plan is let's get you
out of weekends.
I don't want you doing anythingon the weekends.
I want you spending time withyour son and your husband, and
(15:41):
that's it Right.
And then maybe in the next 60days we'll do something else
where we get rid of some stuffin the office.
So, as anything, that anybodythat is successful has either a
coach or a mentor I've hadmultiple in my career too and
that's where you can come upwith these little short-term
plans, long-term plans, likeperson I'm mentioning, like I
don't want you going home anddoing shit when you've already
(16:02):
worked a five-day work week,yeah.
Paul Etchison (16:04):
And I think a lot of practices with solo owners
have a doctor that will workfour or five days a week seeing
patients and then when they'resupposed to do all this other
stuff that needs at a highfunctioning practice, they don't
have the energy to do it.
They don't and it's acompletely neglected part.
So I think, like for me, I feellike I have still not
(16:25):
completely let go.
I have not perfected this.
It's continuum and I can't.
I don't think I'm there yet.
But the last one star actuallyit was a two star review.
I read it on.
The episode probably came outabout a month ago.
I read this two star review.
Those still piss me off and Idon't know if I'm thinking about
this wrong.
Maybe this is a better questionfor my therapist, but have I
(16:45):
truly let go if that stillpisses me off?
Steven Markowitz (16:49):
Why does letting go have to not mean that
you don't care?
Like if someone talked crapabout something that you care a
lot about.
You think that they're wrong.
It is okay to be upset aboutthat.
You're allowed to be upsetabout things that you care about
.
That don't go the way you wantthem to, but yeah, you're right.
Henry Ernst (17:09):
It's a learning experience and I think the same
exact way.
I still do the same thing, paul.
We see bad reviews.
I take them like how can we getbetter from this?
Is what part of this is true?
What part of this is, you know,we really can learn from Right?
And but I still take thosepersonally to this day.
So maybe I a hundred percenthaven't let go also.
So I don't think letting gomeans not caring.
(17:29):
I think those are two differentdefinitions there.
Steven Markowitz (17:32):
Yeah, big time , big time, because when I, when
I get a review right now, if Iget a bad review, I want to
respond immediately.
Me too.
But letting go to me means I dowhat I need to do.
I respond to the review, I letthe team know, and then I don't
take it with me.
I'm not carrying that monkeyanymore, so I still care deeply
about that review.
(17:52):
It hurts me, but I do what Ineeded to do, which is respond
to it, and then I don't carry itand then, therefore, I let go.
Paul Etchison (18:01):
Yeah, I think that's a great point to end on.
Totally, I think it's justabout we've got to it's
delegation.
It's comfortable delegation andrealizing that you don't have
to do it all and that you haveto keep yourself sane.
So if you need help with tryingto let things go at your
practice or you're just tryingto delegate more so you can have
more time off and more peace ofmind, please reach out to us.
(18:21):
Hire us as your coaches.
We are happy to help you.
We are month to month becausewe have to earn your results.
We don't believe in contracts.
So check that out.
Dentalpracticeheroescom.
Thank you so much for listeningeverybody.
No-transcript.
Is your owner brain always turned on?
Are you working late nights orweekends, or when you should be
relaxing and spending time withyour family?
A lot of us struggle to shut itoff, but it can be done, I
promise you.
In this episode with the DPHcoaches, we're gonna talk about
how you can let go and finallyachieve that freedom that made
you wanna be a practice owner inthe first place.
(00:22):
You'll get two exercises thatyou can do today to start
delegating the right tasks andstop being the bottleneck in
your practice.
This is going to change the wayyou run your business, so stay
with us.
You are listening to the DentalPractice Heroes podcast, where
we teach dentists how to stepback from the chair, empower
their team and build a practicethat gives them their life back.
(00:43):
I'm your host, dr Paul Etcheson, dental coach, author of two
books on dental practicemanagement and owner of a large
four-doctor practice that runswith ease, while I work just one
clinical day a week.
If you're ready for a practicethat supports your life instead
of consuming it, you're in theright place.
My team of legendary dentalcoaches and I are here to guide
you on your path fromoverwhelmed owner to dental
(01:05):
practice hero.
Let's get started.
Welcome back to the DentalPractice Heroes podcast.
I am your host, dr PaulEdgerton, joined by my DPH
coaches, dr Henry Ernst and DrSteve Markowitz all three of us
running associate-drivenpractices Steve with a group,
and Henry and I with large solopractices and just teaching our
(01:29):
listeners how to run a practiceand where you can get the
freedom that you want anddeserve and live the life that
you want.
So here we are.
We're talking today about theart of letting go.
I was reading a book recently.
I can't remember what the nameof the book was, but it was
talking about this whole idea ofloving what you do and how the
whole Steve Jobs speech that's Ithink it was Stanford or
(01:50):
something like that at thecommencement speech and they
said you know you got to lovewhat you do because then you
don't work a day in your life.
You know what it's like whenyou love what you do and you
don't work a day in your life.
He's like you shut out everyother part of your life.
You take everything that happensat what you do very personally
and you're a miserable son of abitch, and that's what makes me
think of as practice owners or alot of us have a hard time
(02:13):
letting go of our practice, andI'm not saying letting go like
get rid of it, but staying toshut it off.
And how many practice owners dowe see that we go home and they
say I can't shut it off, Idon't know how to go home and
not just keep thinking about it.
So that's what I'd like to talkabout today.
So I'll go to you first, henry.
Has that been something thatyou've struggled with in your
career?
No, doubt.
Henry Ernst (02:34):
You know I have four kids.
Three are older and there wereparts where I was just so in the
woods and working six days andexpanded hours, practice, where
you just you just lose focus andit's really really hard.
You're just so in the momentthat just life goes by and you
know it wasn't until I reallyhad some good mentors that you
know taught me some things andstepping away from, from the
(02:57):
business and establishingleadership and all this stuff
that really just changed my lifeand changed my focus.
And it can get really, reallyhard if you're on that hamster
wheel to have somebody tap youon the shoulder and say, dude,
you need to get some morebalance in your life.
Paul Etchison (03:11):
Well, it's like it's normal.
It's like we can all agree thatit's normal to go through those
things, but it's not normal tocontinue.
You know like that whole ideaof that.
You know your parents.
It's not your parents' faultthat you're messed up, but it's
your fault that you're stillmessed up, or something like
that.
I don't think I said that right, but hopefully that resonates
with somebody.
Steven Markowitz (03:29):
I think what I heard is that you're messed up.
Henry Ernst (03:31):
I heard messed up a couple of times.
I need help.
But it's really hard becauseyou think about it.
It's a lot worse with the newerdentists coming out.
We have such a nut that'sbehind us, the loans that we
took out, or we practice loans,or we got to make this amount of
money to take care of ourfamily and stuff like that.
So it's really scary.
I know in my instance wheresomebody said, okay, you need to
(03:52):
work two days less every weekand you're going to be better
off, and somebody's just likegot a magic wand to tell you
that and if you establish apractice like we always talk
about, that can run on its own,it gives you that fuel to do
that and to step awayintentionally.
Right, that's the thing Inoticed is Dennis will say
coaching clients like, oh, I'mgoing to step away a couple of
(04:13):
days.
Well, what happens?
They go into the office andthey're still sitting there,
right?
No, you're not allowed to be inthe office either.
You got to be totally away fromthe office and dude, shut off
your phone for a couple hourstoo, and take that me time.
That's non negotiable.
Steven Markowitz (04:25):
Steve, have you ever struggled letting go?
Always, I'm still strugglingwith it.
You know when, when you talk toentrepreneurs not just dentists
and they, they say like why areyou doing this and and why is
it so important for you to keepgrowing?
And whatever, whatever thosequestions are, and they're like
I'm doing it for my family and Ijust want to take them by the
neck and I'm like that's suchbullshit Totally.
Like if you, if it was reallyfor your family, you would have
(04:46):
stopped when you were 10 yearsago, when you had that balance.
So it's not about people aremistaken, their why.
A lot of it is just our ownegos or our own insecurities of
what we think defines us.
And then this thing that webuilt, that we can control,
helps us create this identity oflike we're successful, we're a
(05:09):
boss, we're a leader.
Whatever we tell the story wetell ourself and that is what
makes it so hard to let go isthat everything that we have
done to this point has createdthis.
What we think is this perfectdental practice that's created
this great life for us, and thatwe're able to control every
(05:29):
little piece of it.
So when we have to let gobecause it's either the practice
has grown beyond our leadershipcapabilities or we are at a new
season in our life where weneed to spend more time at home
or our kids or our familiesexpecting more of us, now we're
like all right, how do I let go?
I just, oh, I just don't showup.
(05:50):
Is that how I let go?
But that also hurts because nowI feel guilty when I'm not
there and I just am neverpresent anywhere.
I felt guilty when I was at thepractice.
I felt guilty when I wasn't atthe practice and when I truly
felt like I was able to let go.
What happened was I was like,oh shit, I must not care anymore
.
I must not care about mypractice because I'm not
(06:13):
worrying about it.
And then this was where, for me, therapy helped me a ton.
It was like you can actuallycare a ton about something and
not worry about it.
Those are mutually exclusivethings.
Hair and worry are verydifferent and I think that was
the thing I needed to get over.
To truly let go was all right.
How do I know I care aboutsomething but also not worry
(06:36):
about it because I've let go andI can be present when I'm not
there?
That concept of care versusworry was the thing that
propelled me to be able to startto have that be a reality for
myself.
Paul Etchison (06:48):
I love that you said that, because I feel that
guilt, and I would say Icurrently feel that guilt right
now that I must not care aboutmy practice because I'm just not
there as much.
And I do still care about it.
And I thought after I sold it Iwould stop caring.
I still care and, henry, I knowyou can share the same thing.
You sold your practice, henryand I both sold two groups and
(07:10):
we still both very much careabout our practices.
I think it's one of those things.
It's like you mentioned we doall these things and it gets us
to a certain level of successand then we think we can't
achieve that same level ofsuccess unless we continue to
stay in it.
And I can tell you now I'mbarely in my practice, but when
(07:30):
I remember when I was there allthe time and it's all I did.
I don't even know if my teameven remembers that, but you
know who does remember, that ismy wife and my oldest.
My wife and my oldest rememberit and not for the reasons I
want them to, when you reallythink about what it matters.
I know it's easy to say, butlife goes by fast.
The title of our episode is howto Let Go.
So we've all struggled withthis, but I'm just going to go
back to you, steve, so you saidyou were working through it
(07:52):
right now.
Steven Markowitz (08:01):
I started to do these exercises of
understanding what is it thatonly I can do in my practice and
what does that look like andhow can I do that in that fits
the buckets of my financialgoals, my time goals, all of the
things that I need.
So for me, I know it's doctors.
I can find doctors, I can findpractices and I can train up
doctors.
That's where I need to be.
The other stuff, whether Iworry about it or care about it
or do it all day, it doesn'tmove the needle and I had to
(08:22):
learn that through experienceand watching it me not delegate
it and not have it cause thepractice or the business to go
backwards to really understand.
But I really needed to spendtime and understand what only I
could do and then make sure thatthe people that were taking on
those things had enough supportto do it.
(08:44):
It's just the art of delegation.
But the first step for me waswhat is that one thing or three
things that I need to be doingin the practice?
Paul Etchison (08:52):
How much time do you spend doing that each week?
Steven Markowitz (08:55):
With my doctors, mm-hmm, the majority of
my work days.
Yeah, if I'm not talking to you, paul and henry, then I'm
talking to doctors, yeah, ortherapists mostly therapists.
Henry Ernst (09:07):
Henry, what do you say, man, like what has been
your secret to get letting gowell, I think, just making sure
I'm not a perfectionist right,we always want things done,
great, but the old line I alwaysheard is, if somebody can, you
can train somebody to dosomething to take your place,
and they can do it 80 percent ofyour abilities to start with.
Be happy with it, becauseyou're not doing it, you can
move on to something else.
I did a similar exercise thatyou're talking about, steve,
(09:29):
where I kind of took and I dothis for sometimes, people when
they feel overwhelmed in aposition like take a list of
tasks, maybe put a notebook padby your desk at work and just
any task that you do, write itdown, and at the end of a week
you have all, like, mundane andimportant tasks that you
normally have to do and put themin four different boxes.
Right, the first box could beI'm really good at it and I like
doing it.
(09:49):
I'm really good at it and Ihate doing it.
I'm bad at it, you know, youknow where I'm going and take
the ones that you hate, the onesthat you hate, and just
automatically make a plan to getrid of those off of your plate.
Cause number one is that'llmake us happy, cause let's get
rid of the shit that we hate todo.
And then, if you go along thatcycle more and more, don't be a
perfectionist.
Get rid of the stuff that youdon't.
(10:10):
You know that you can, cansiphon off in a good way, and
that's just going to make you abetter person, a happier person.
I kind of look at it.
Somebody mentioned to me thehyphen On our tombstone.
Right, there's a hyphen.
It says Henry Ernst, born 1975to whatever that death date is.
What did you do in that hyphen?
Right?
Is my tombstone going to saydentist?
I hope not, because I want tobe a father, I want to be a good
(10:34):
husband, I want to have youknow good things.
That's not a dentist doesn'tdefine who I am.
And going the path where I wasjust head down, working six days
a week, it was leading me tosomething like that.
So you have to make thatimportant step, to make it
intentional.
And the other thing my wife andI did and this was pre-saling
(10:56):
the practices we did an exercisewhere she wrote down a list of
things that she wanted to doitems, new hobbies and we also
wrote down a perfect week.
If you didn't have to work,what does your perfect week look
like Like, hey, I wanna go tothe gym at 9 am, I wanna go take
a walk, I wanna, like you know,whatever that looks like.
And the both of us did itwithout each other's knowledge
and we had so many things thatwere so similar, kind of like
stepbrothers.
Did we just become best friends, you know?
(11:24):
So that was one of the thingsthat led us to say, hey, we want
to live by the beach, right,and we accomplished that goal
and you know, now we're aneight-minute walk from the beach
, but I can still work my twodays a week in the practice and,
like you said, paul, I stillcare a lot about it.
I'm still the leader of the.
You know the monthly meetingsthat we have, the quarterly
meetings and stuff like that,and I'm on the EOS meetings once
a week, whether it's by Zoom orI'm actually there.
So there's ways that you canaccomplish this.
(11:45):
It just it takes you.
Being intentional, I think, isthe most important part.
Paul Etchison (11:50):
Yeah, I think the intentionality is like the big
thing from what both of you guysare saying is that this is like
the sort of stuff like workingwith a coach and these are the
things we do with our clients is.
You could say Steve mentionedwhat is the only thing I can do
that nobody else can do.
And then, Henry, what are thethings that I want?
What does my perfect week looklike?
(12:10):
These are like coaching things,and this is where you're
sitting down, giving it the timeand mental energy it deserves.
I remember therapy has been hugefor me as well.
It helps so much has been hugefor me as well is like it helps
so much.
And when I, if I tell you whatmy therapist tells me, you would
say no shit, dumb ass, youneeded to pay somebody to do
that.
And I will tell you yes, I didneed to pay somebody to point
that out, because it's like whenyou see a lesion that you
(12:33):
missed on an x-ray and you goback and look at it a year ago,
you go, damn it, there it was.
How did I not see it before?
Well, you didn't see it, youmissed it, and that's how it is
like seeing a therapist, but ithelps to sort these things out
and see where these feelings andstuff come from.
I'm just being completely honest.
I don't spend enough timeworking with my doctors and I
need to spend more time workingwith doctors, which is why the
(12:53):
current what I'm doing at mypractice right now is I'm
stopped all ortho cases.
I'm trying to phase out orthoand I'm trying to phase out
clinical, because I know thereare parts of my practice being
neglected that only I can do andI don't have the time when I'm
there to do it.
And because of the podcast andcoaching, I don't have my days
off.
So a lot of people might saywell, you're never at the
practice.
You must be sitting on your assall day.
(13:14):
I assure you I'm not.
I'm here with Stephen Henry.
I'm here with Stephen Henry,Still sitting on your ass,
though I'm sitting on.
I'm going to stand up now.
Stand up.
Can you guys hear?
Henry Ernst (13:22):
that yes, look at that.
Look at that production value.
Steven Markowitz (13:27):
Oh my goodness , we're making it.
Paul Etchison (13:28):
I don't know if that's going to record on the
track, but I just had a little.
I got this.
I should use that more, butyeah, so I think the thing is is
like figuring out how do youlet go is you've got to be
comfortable with it in yourself,but you got to realize that you
letting go and getting out ofthe way is not going to crash
and burn your practice, andyou've got to set up the
delegation properly to do that.
Steven Markowitz (13:48):
And you're going to learn, even if it's
never going to crash and burn,but like those failures, that's
going to help you actually learnwhere the bottlenecks in your
practice are.
So you have to be okay withletting it fail a little bit to
the point where you can actuallylearn.
If you're going to be in thereand you're going to do
everything and there's nevergoing to be a light that's going
(14:09):
to be out in your practice,you'll never fully understand
when or how to step away or letgo, and I don't think that
letting go means being thereless.
You can do both.
If you really love clinicaldentistry and you want to do it
four plus days a week, by allmeans go, do it Like, but then
(14:30):
let someone else do other partsof your practice that you might
hate and empower them and letthem mess up, truly mess up, and
then be able to pivot and coachand build up your team around
you.
And I think that's true.
Letting go is truly enjoyingwhere you are, when you're there
, and that for most not justdentist owners, but for most
(14:55):
people is really hard to do.
Henry Ernst (14:57):
Yeah, and I would say it's not gonna happen
overnight.
We'll take little wins.
So I think we're listening tothis podcast.
You could be somebody who has aone, you know one doctor
practice and there's four orfive chairs and you're not a
huge person that has like sixoffices or 18 chairs or
something like that.
You know.
But how do I do that?
I had a coaching client thatwe're working with now and you
(15:18):
know she goes home and on theweekend she's doing insurance
statements and she's doing this.
I said wait a minute, and I hadher do that exercise I
mentioned before and we're justgetting rid of a few things a
month and we're getting wins.
Hey, I've successfullyoff-boarded these four or five
things.
So step number one in theshort-term plan is let's get you
out of weekends.
I don't want you doing anythingon the weekends.
I want you spending time withyour son and your husband, and
(15:41):
that's it Right.
And then maybe in the next 60days we'll do something else
where we get rid of some stuffin the office.
So, as anything, that anybodythat is successful has either a
coach or a mentor I've hadmultiple in my career too and
that's where you can come upwith these little short-term
plans, long-term plans, likeperson I'm mentioning, like I
don't want you going home anddoing shit when you've already
(16:02):
worked a five-day work week,yeah.
Paul Etchison (16:04):
And I think a lot of practices with solo owners
have a doctor that will workfour or five days a week seeing
patients and then when they'resupposed to do all this other
stuff that needs at a highfunctioning practice, they don't
have the energy to do it.
They don't and it's acompletely neglected part.
So I think, like for me, I feellike I have still not
(16:25):
completely let go.
I have not perfected this.
It's continuum and I can't.
I don't think I'm there yet.
But the last one star actuallyit was a two star review.
I read it on.
The episode probably came outabout a month ago.
I read this two star review.
Those still piss me off and Idon't know if I'm thinking about
this wrong.
Maybe this is a better questionfor my therapist, but have I
(16:45):
truly let go if that stillpisses me off?
Steven Markowitz (16:49):
Why does letting go have to not mean that
you don't care?
Like if someone talked crapabout something that you care a
lot about.
You think that they're wrong.
It is okay to be upset aboutthat.
You're allowed to be upsetabout things that you care about
.
That don't go the way you wantthem to, but yeah, you're right.
Henry Ernst (17:09):
It's a learning experience and I think the same
exact way.
I still do the same thing, paul.
We see bad reviews.
I take them like how can we getbetter from this?
Is what part of this is true?
What part of this is, you know,we really can learn from Right?
And but I still take thosepersonally to this day.
So maybe I a hundred percenthaven't let go also.
So I don't think letting gomeans not caring.
(17:29):
I think those are two differentdefinitions there.
Steven Markowitz (17:32):
Yeah, big time , big time, because when I, when
I get a review right now, if Iget a bad review, I want to
respond immediately.
Me too.
But letting go to me means I dowhat I need to do.
I respond to the review, I letthe team know, and then I don't
take it with me.
I'm not carrying that monkeyanymore, so I still care deeply
about that review.
(17:52):
It hurts me, but I do what Ineeded to do, which is respond
to it, and then I don't carry itand then, therefore, I let go.
Paul Etchison (18:01):
Yeah, I think that's a great point to end on.
Totally, I think it's justabout we've got to it's
delegation.
It's comfortable delegation andrealizing that you don't have
to do it all and that you haveto keep yourself sane.
So if you need help with tryingto let things go at your
practice or you're just tryingto delegate more so you can have
more time off and more peace ofmind, please reach out to us.
(18:21):
Hire us as your coaches.
We are happy to help you.
We are month to month becausewe have to earn your results.
We don't believe in contracts.
So check that out.
Dentalpracticeheroescom.
Thank you so much for listeningeverybody.
No-transcript.
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