#168 The Making of A Modern Love Essay, "Negotiating the End of Us" with Leslie B. Blanchard

Leslie B. Blanchard joins Freelance Writing Direct for a conversation about developing her Modern Love essay, finding the line that anchored the piece, writing honestly about anticipatory grief, discovering structure through revision, clarifying metaphor, understanding what makes a submission stand out, and learning what the story truly wanted to say.Modern Love essays aren't accidents, they're built from a bold hook, clear structure, and often, the courage to write through grief.

In this episode of Freelance Writing Direct, Estelle Erasmus talks with her student, writer Leslie B. Blanchard, about the journey of her New York Times Modern Love essay, "Negotiating the End of Us," from a quick in-class prompt to publication. 

Leslie shares how the opening line "He always said he would die young" became the spine of the piece, and how focusing on the negotiation around death made her grief story stand out in an inbox flooded with loss. As Estelle often teaches her students, the right entry point can transform a personal story into one an editor cannot ignore, and Leslie's piece is a powerful example of that.

This episode is for writers who want to turn deeply personal material into publishable essays—and need to see exactly how community, revision, and coaching make that possible.

Leslie described our workshop process this way, and her words capture the heart of how this essay developed:

"I truly believe there is a story in all of us that wants to be told. Sometimes it's just a matter of finding your authentic voice. I recently had the honor of being published in The New York Times Modern Love, which was a life goal. The piece started with a prompt from Estelle Erasmus in her writing class and developed from there as we workshopped every angle together.

What makes this process work is that Estelle gets to know her students in a way that allows her to guide them and help unlock their strongest work. This is the key to crafting an essay that gets noticed in this highly competitive field."
— Leslie B. Blanchard

In This Episode:

• How a 10-minute classroom exercise grew into a Modern Love essay [2:50]

• Why a specific, original hook is essential when writing about grief [6:21]

• How Leslie found the structure and emotional center of her piece [10:29]

• Craft choices that tightened the piece: cutting digressions, choosing one central metaphor, and having "bargaining" in the final line. [20:07]

• How workshops, careful line edits, community, and supportive coaching can turn a private story into a publishable essay and help a writer trust their voice. [27:47]

About Leslie B. Blanchard

Leslie tackles the complexities of marriage and child-rearing with a transparency that will leave you simultaneously laughing as you brush away tears. She began writing about marriage to her high school sweetheart and life raising 5 children.  She's since added the grief of widowhood, joy of grandchildren and comfort of remarriage to her cache of insights. She's been interviewed on NPR, spoken at "Listen To Your Mother" and been published in The New York Times' Modern Love, Next Avenue, Huffington Post, BonBon Break, Today Parenting, Your Teen Magazine and Scary Mommy.  She also a collaborated on, "Lose The Cape - It's a Teen Thing!" 

Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bxezcEqnWK4

Connect with Leslie

Her Modern Love essay: Negotiating the End of Us: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/10/style/modern-love-negotiating-the-end-of-us.html

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/leslieblanchard0408

Facebook:  http://www.facebook.com/agingersnapped

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/Yayamom43Leslie

Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/AGingersnapped

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