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November 18, 2025 39 mins

Summary:

In this conversation, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn explore the complexities of anger, challenging the conventional wisdom that venting is a healthy way to manage it. They discuss research findings that suggest venting can actually exacerbate anger and aggression. Instead, they advocate for techniques that help regulate emotions and promote calmness, emphasizing the importance of understanding anger as a signal of emotional pain. The discussion includes practical strategies for managing anger in relationships and highlights the significance of redirecting anger for healthier interactions. 

Links and Resources:

The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages on Amazon

Bushman, B. J. (2002). Does venting anger feed or extinguish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(6), 724–731. Link to article PDF.

Kjærvik, S. L., & Bushman, B. J. (2024). A meta‑analytic review of anger management activities that increase or decrease arousal: What fuels or douses rage? Clinical Psychology Review, 109, 102414. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2024.102414

Ephesians 4:26 – “In your anger, do not sin.”

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