December 7, 2025 • 36 mins
In this episode of Legally Clueless, Adelle shares Part 2 of Gachambi’s powerful and deeply honest story, a testimony of resilience through toxic workplaces, repeated exam failures, sexual harassment in the legal world, and the long, winding road toward becoming an advocate of the High Court of Kenya. After passing only four out of nine bar exams, Gachambi faced disappointment, self-doubt, and the pressure to keep going when giving up felt easier.
She takes us through the emotional weight of resitting exams over two years, the inner dialogue of remembering “the smart girl she once was,” and the moment she finally passed her final papers in 2023. But her academic journey was only part of the story.
In this episode she also opens up about:
• Surviving toxic legal workplaces that drained her mentally and physically
• Sexual harassment from seniors in the profession — and the silence surrounding it
• Being fired just weeks before her admission to the bar
• Navigating unemployment, anxiety, and the pressure to “have it all figured out”
• Rediscovering her purpose through humanitarian law and volunteering
• The role faith plays in her rebuilding
This episode is a raw reflection on what it means to survive workplaces that weren’t built to protect you, how failure can become a teacher, and how purpose sometimes reveals itself in the ashes of what fell apart. If you’re in a season of career confusion, burnout, or feeling unseen in your workplace, this story will hold you gently.
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She takes us through the emotional weight of resitting exams over two years, the inner dialogue of remembering “the smart girl she once was,” and the moment she finally passed her final papers in 2023. But her academic journey was only part of the story.
In this episode she also opens up about:
• Surviving toxic legal workplaces that drained her mentally and physically
• Sexual harassment from seniors in the profession — and the silence surrounding it
• Being fired just weeks before her admission to the bar
• Navigating unemployment, anxiety, and the pressure to “have it all figured out”
• Rediscovering her purpose through humanitarian law and volunteering
• The role faith plays in her rebuilding
This episode is a raw reflection on what it means to survive workplaces that weren’t built to protect you, how failure can become a teacher, and how purpose sometimes reveals itself in the ashes of what fell apart. If you’re in a season of career confusion, burnout, or feeling unseen in your workplace, this story will hold you gently.
Plug into the Legally Clueless Africa community:
Newsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/
Story submission: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8
Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica
YouTube (For Mannerless Women): www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Adela on Jangle and welcome to another
episode of Legally Clueless. No, seriously, i have no clue
what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the
only one.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hey you, welcome to another episode of Legally Clueless. Thank
you so much for working with the podcast. OG members
have got nothing but love for you, and special love
to everybody who was tugging us in your spotifyed wrapped
posts online and your YouTube rapped. I didn't know there
was a YouTube wrapped And one particular member of our community.
(00:34):
Shout out to Eve, who also came through for our
final group therapy session this past Saturday. She's the one
who told me YouTube has a rapped thing. I had
no idea, and she was among our top zero point
one percent of YouTube viewers. So I really appreciate all
(00:55):
of you. If you're new, be here, Welcome to the fam.
This particular show goes out every single where different Africans
come to and share stories from their lived experience, and
then on Wednesdays we have the Midweek TI's where I
break down topics that I think are going to help
you on your healing journey. Our newsletter also goes out
on Wednesdays. On Thursdays, we have for Manneralist Women, which
(01:16):
is our newest baby. I say news will be in
season three, but it started this year. And if you
are on a journey as an African woman to becoming
your best self, that is a massed watch or listen
to shows, So make sure you subscribe to our YouTube
and follow us on Insta and TikTok. All of them
links are in the show notes. However, in this episode,
(01:38):
we're jumping into part two of Gashambi's story. If you've
not listened to pot one, you may want to go
back to the previous episode, otherwise you're just going to
be floating all right. One of course, we met her
navigating grief, expectations, academic pressure, and just like going through
this rediscovery of herself, now in part two, more things
(01:59):
come to life from traumatic toxic workplaces, sexual harassment in
the legal field, and just like the courage it takes
to walk away from spaces that were really just shrinking her,
let's jump into it.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
A hundred African stories are legally cueless stories from Africa.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
As though we usually have a total of nine exams
for you to pass for you to now be admitted
as an advocate. One you have to have passed all
the nine units, and two you have to undergo a
pupilage program, of which it's an internship really for like
six months now. After the exams and I checked, I'm like,
I passed four exams, only what do you mean for?
(02:46):
I had past four exams so for out of nine?
So Mini had five more exams toy do. And I
cried and I called my best friend and we cried.
We just cried. We spent the whole livening crying, and
I told her I want to cancel my trip. She's like,
don't cancel your tube because at the end of the day,
there's also here already and you already paid for your chip,
so you just go. There's also no changing right now.
(03:08):
They're going to change when you get to redo them.
And I went on that vacation and I was a
bit sad because yet again, being a high functional person,
I just I like everything under control and I'm not
want to leave things. I'm like, why would I leave
my grids here and go have fun? But then I
wasn't leaving my grids. You carry your grids with it.
(03:29):
If it's four passes I was cutting them with me.
So I went and came back and now the following
you know what I did, I remarked one of the units,
since it was close to the past mark, I passed.
So now I was at five. So five out of
night time, they had four more exams. Yeah, for more exams,
And I kept on repeating. Now this is through three
(03:51):
till the last time I did the exams, and it
passed in July twenty twenty three. And this is where
I usually know that god'story you. It's just for you,
and there's no other way that it's going to happen
a patrol doing. God has set it out for you.
Because maybe if I'd passed that a goal, the outcome
of life wouldn't have been the same. Because in between
the failure, I even learned to appreciate the four you see, like, okay,
(04:14):
I've failed, but I've passed four you see. But if
I hadn't failed, even in units, I would have known
the impact of failure. I wouldn't have seen it as
if I did a good job. And in between the
transitioning of tree taking all these units, I did study
and study heard and I remembered who JUMBI was before
all this. I remember, JUMPI, once upon a time, you
(04:36):
were a smart girl. You used to sit down and
to get ease and whatever. I used to be top
of the class. So there's nothing that has changed. The imagine.
You can remove all the trauma side and remember who
you are, even if you're going to pick it up
once you leave the door, but remember who you are.
You're a smart girl. And I locked in and I
finished the exams and now transitioned into work just a
(04:58):
bit and bity and there, just trying to navigate this
legal space, of which it's very hard. By the way,
it's very hard. It's very hard. So sheltered to whoever
is doing their own thing, just keeping on because even
in the legal space here in Kenya, I do know
about other countries, we're often told that we have to
stick to one line. You see that after becoming an advocate,
(05:20):
you have to be a litigant. After becoming this, you
have to do this. But then, who say that all
of us have to go to million money, Who say
that all of us have to be sports lawyers, Who
say that all of us have to There's so many
things we can do as lawyers and I feel as
if most people are not vocal about it. Maybe maybe not,
or maybe I haven't done my research well, but let's
(05:40):
bring more conversations about how you can diversify this career.
Because the table is big enough for all of us
to eat, but you don't have to be on the
same table. You could be seated in a four by
six table. I could be seated in a six by
four table and it's okay. It doesn't take the facuation
or a lawyer. So navigating the legal space had been
had by then, because I wasn't even I wasn't even
(06:02):
sure that I wanted to go to the route that
people had said you have to go. I've always wanted
to be a humanitarian lawyer. For me, anything to do
with humanitarian law called me even at three am. I'll
wake up. But then, now knowing that the corporate space,
the way I'm telling you, the legal space has been
set up, you have to accept maybe particular jobs which
(06:23):
you know for real they're not in line with whatever
God's purpose is for you, but you'll just take it.
You're like, okay, bills have to be paid and all that.
So that had been me by then, and I got
into volunteering a lot. I got into volunteering a lot
in Angiers just waking up and seeing an application and
putting an application for volunteers. I did get a lot
(06:45):
of volunteering jobs. And now this goes back to even
last year during the family side match that we had,
I got a volunteering job from one of the best
lady that I've met, who's like a mentor to me,
and she's always encouraged me in this space. So in retrospect,
I just tell lawyers, don't be afraid to even start
(07:06):
from scratch. As long as you know this is what
I'm meant to be doing, even if you're starting on
a clean slate that doesn't even equate to money, just
take it as long as you know your passion lize
they just take it, and the God who sees all
of us, when they will fulfill that purpose for you.
So yeah, I got into this particular space of jobs.
Some of them are toxic and hat wrenching. Some of them,
(07:28):
Oh my god, there's one. There's one job that I
had in twenty twenty three and it made me hit
the corporate world. That changed, of course, but it made me.
It made me hit the corporate world entirely. And this
was just a month or like a few months before
my admission, and it was the most toxic environment, with
the most toxic job, with the most toxic boss. The
(07:52):
only good thing that came out of it is just
a friendship. When I tell a friendship has grounded me
all throughout my life because I met the most loveliest
ladies on there. But I was broken. I was broken
at all. And I asked, my God, why did you
now tell me to step into a career that is
not even equating to anything. And even if it's not
(08:13):
equating to money, I'm losing myself, Like I don't know
who I am anymore. I have anxiety, everything gole day.
I can't sit and be. And the funny thing is,
I got fired. By the way, let it be known
that people do get fired outside here, and it's okay.
It's okay. It doesn't take away the fact that you're
a good person and you're good at your work. So
(08:33):
I got fired, and man's down the line, this company fell,
and I told myself, that is good.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
That is good. That is good.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I told you, I know other way this is good.
So this was a few months before my admission sometime
in twentwenty three. And according to the legal world, or
according to Kenyon law, you have to do your privilege,
do your privilege after you're done, then get admitted once
your first exams. So I did my paplege in a
(09:03):
particular low firm somewhere in west and it was nice,
but it lasted finished my pavilege. Then after there's this
great period called holding over whereby you just awaiting admission,
you can either continue the same firm or you can
look for another job or whatever. So on a random day,
my boss comes, He's like, oh, Jambie, there's this opportunity
(09:27):
that has come up, and i'd want you to consider it.
And then I questioned him, what you mean, why do
you want me to take up that job? He's like,
on here where you are, Yes, we're going to we
can stay with you, but you're not going to grow.
And at the same time, you can always use all
the skills you've leant in this new office. I'm like, Okay,
you bet, And then I was scheduled for an interview
(09:48):
on Monday. Oh, this was Friday when he told me that.
So he's scheduled for an interview on Monday. So on Monday,
Jambee has suits freshly ironed, goes to this other office
in Westlands. Did Westlands, Westlands? So I got to this
office in Westlands and I get to this office and
(10:09):
it looks it looks different. I've been to many offices,
especially interviewed in many many offices, but this one, this
one really caught my eye. Not in a good way,
by the way. I was just wondering, I are we
Are we in a Netflix show? Or what's about to
happen here?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I work in Then I meet this particular gentleman and
I'm sat there. Then I start prepping myself for the interview,
you know the way an interview goes, introduce yourself and
all that. So after introducing myself, this guy first the world.
This man was on his phone. Even when I was
(10:48):
doing my introduction. He was literally on his phone, and
I was wondering, ah, happening where we were we? So
after I introduced myself, he just looked at me and
told me, yeah, you can start today. And I was like,
start today, because normally, when you do an interview, usually
given a day to start, you could be to come
tomorrow or come the week after. But then you told
(11:10):
me start today. I was like, okay, say less. Then
I was showing. I was shown where I'm supposed to
see and I was sat there. There were no computers,
no nothing. When I'm telling you guys, this listen is weird,
please believe me. And when it was sat there, since
we had no computers or we were into carrying laptops
rather or whatever, or I wasn't told to carry my laptop,
(11:32):
I was on my notebook and a journal and a
journal and I've never journaled for that long, by the way,
I was like page five, hey, page ten. Then after
a while, we were called for a meeting. So we go.
We go for this meeting in the same office, still
in the boardroom, and we started this meeting. And after
(11:54):
this meeting, you know, during the meeting, this particular boss
he pretends that he doesn't know me, by the way,
he's like, oh, I'm like I'm jumping like, oh yeah,
the new advocate or something of the sort. Mind you,
this was a recommendation call, like he had been told
Jambie's coming there. But then he was like acting as
(12:14):
if he doesn't know me, or he wasn't aware, but
as if I was intruding was something of the sort. Anyways,
finished the meeting and went through with the day, and
the first week okay. The first week was okay, but
now the second week I started doing red flags. I
told my mom, my heart is not okay here, like
I don't like it here. My mom was like, you know,
(12:38):
she didn't impose by the way. She just said, you
just see it through because at the end of the
day're getting admitted this year, so just sit there and
just sit through it as you wait your admission. Then
my mom was also of the opinion, or you can
go back to your previous holding over space a place rather,
But then I told her I don't want to go
back there. Discretion. By the way, I'm about to get
(13:00):
into sexual violence and all that in the workspace. So
normally in the work space, in the legal space. Because
I am in the legal space, I've seen girls and
even men getting sexually harassed, and then none of it
goes in the public domain because we're so I don't
know whether we're not used to talking about it in
(13:21):
the legal space or there's this protection of lawyers. I
don't know what's the issue there, but many a time,
so buy in this particular space, I got harassed, or
rather the intention to sexually harassed me came up, and
it happened a couple of times, but I used to
(13:42):
ignore it, but not ignorance. Really, it was just like
when it was when certain intentions were been thrown at me,
I used to block them. For example, maybe I could
get a comment like oh I like the dress that
you were wearing. I could counter it and see me
we have when we attending court, things like those, So
(14:05):
I never start through those conversations. But then this one
time it was actually very very scaredy. I was in
someone's office, this particular boss's office where I used to
do my holding over. And it feels weird talking about this,
by the way, but who else is going to talk
(14:26):
about the stories if not us? And when I was
in this office, there's a particular file that I was
meant to work on, and there's a particular cabinet as
well that was below. You see, you can have a
full on cabinet and you can have one that looks
as if it's half it looks like a console, but
(14:47):
then it's a cabinet. So this particular a boss was like, oh,
can you just bend and take that fire, and you know,
the doors closed, as like what am I bending? And
then I there was a seat there was sitting next
to the cabinet. I sat. I sat on the chair
(15:10):
because now you know, when you're sitting, you're in a
better potion to pull the file. And I sat because
i't know where I was going to bend for sure.
I sat and I pulled the file and I gave
it to him. And the funny thing is, even when
pulling the file, there's nothing, there's nothing substantial. He said
about the file so many his intention wasn't for me
(15:31):
to pull the file or whatever. It was just like
for me to bend. And I didn't because I didn't
and I didn't want to. It felt it's just like
wrong for you to tell someone to do certain things.
And after we were done, he tells me to return
the file, and I still did the same thing. I
sat on the chair and I opened the cabinet and
(15:51):
I returned the fire. And after that I cried so much.
I cried. I cried, I cried, I cried. I cried,
and I spoke to my then partner, who comforted me
by the way, and I was to live at that
point of which this was somewhere in December, now before
the holding over a year, But I didn't one knowing
PU privilege you have to be signed for the exact
(16:13):
documents required by school, so you have to sign a
documentary showing that you've done the privilege program whatever. And
since we were almost closing, the air school had been closed,
so the only time I could get my documents to
be signed was a following year. Yeah, it was weird.
It was weird, and the I didn't talk about I
talked to her about it, whether I spoke to my friends,
(16:33):
I spoke to my then partner, even my colleagues. I
told them when I cried, and I cried and I cried.
But ever since then, I just knew that sexual harassment
in the workplace is very rampant. It's very rampant. Some way,
argue me say and me say something contrary to whatever
I'm saying. Maybe I don't know, but for you to
(16:54):
be able to say such things, it had to be
out of speculation. You must have experienced certain things, even
if it's not through you, through your colleague, friends and whatever.
Such stories never see the light of the day because
maybe the shame behind it you see, and maybe as usual,
maybe you can be told that the victim is lying
or maybe she's gone who appreciated the whole thing, of
(17:14):
which I don't know, But it's actually sad, and people
need to be more vocal about it, even in the
legal space, because these are your seniors. Normally in the
legal world, whoever has been admitted before you to the
bise your senior, so you're seen and can't be perpetrating
you and just walking around the town or the city
just freely as if they've done nothing. You see. And
(17:36):
I know some of the stories may end up in
the public domain like this one. So no when I
put that trigger warning, but yeah, I got through it.
And now back to this other job that I told you.
I went for an interview and that's the same day.
So I told my mom, Aye, what's happening here? What's
happening here? My mom is like, see it through, and
(17:57):
I told her, say less, I'll see it through. So
around the week two, week three, I had gone as
an in house council. But then the work I was
doing was not given in house consol. We're busy doing
world tour is going to I don't know where, going
to camboo, going to particular cities and counties to do
it was just everything else apart from the work. Everything
(18:18):
that's apart from the work, And ask myself why we're
not like working here? Why are we not working? And
when work came in, it was very heavy, like it
was bulky work. You've been told to move the world,
move the world from point A to point B and
do it within an hour or something of the sort.
And it got overwhelming, and it got the point of
this particular boss started questioning my character and he started
(18:42):
shouting at me, and make it worse by the way,
you know, sometimes even the put around you usually usually
what's it called enable your behavior, because I wasn't getting
shouted at by this boss alone, even with a sister
who happened to be part of the organization as the
sea or something. So imagine you're getting shattered at by
(19:04):
your boss, You're getting shattered at by the sister, by
the cousin, by the neighbor. And it's at work. This
is not at home. By this is purely work. While
we bringing such things on here. And even so, if
I'm under you, if your boss, if your boss is
maybe one particular person in the family. Why is the
whole family coming at me yet it's the workplace. This
(19:26):
is not whom and I used to cry. Trust me,
I've cried in the corporash world. I have cried. I
have seen my better show of tears. And edially, tell God,
may I never cry again because of my career, because
you handed it over to me. You're the one who
gave me. I don't want to cry. I'd rather lack
than cry again, because there's nothing hurting more than crying
(19:49):
about something that you know, God, you selected me to
be maybe an engineer, or maybe a musician, or maybe
a dancer. I'm supposed to be crying tears of joy
and and even though I'm crying, it's not supposed to
be something that so had trenching to the point of
me questioning this career, you see. And I used to
cry is to cry, is to cry. It was just
(20:10):
like a normal routine for me to cry. And I
did stay there for two months, by the way, So
what happened to me transitioning into getting fired? This is
what happened. The two months had been shaky, full of tears,
full of yeah, and I was not even at my best.
I was really skinny. I was really sick. My uses
(20:30):
were at peak. And funny thing, a job can stipulate
the hours where you working. You could be told clocking
nine to five if it's a consultant thing, just an
hour for example, if it's a contraence three days you
see for this thing. We were told it's an age
to five or rather nine to five job. But we
used to leave work even at ten, at ten pm,
(20:53):
or even at sometimes eleven. It was just like weird
working hours. And trust me, we weren't working like you
could clock in you nine to five and then after
the things you're doing, why would you call for a
meeting at six pm? Why would you call for a
meeting at eight pm? Would you? And these are kids,
(21:14):
you know, these are kids. People have children, People have responsibilities,
and as much as there's work, people who have other
things to do. You'd rather be home doing your laundry
or even eating your meal and watching your favorite show
while am I at work at eleven? And you haven't
consented to do that. And this is not over time,
(21:36):
so it's by force you have to be there, and
the lack of your attendance is also an issue anyway,
So we used to even live work at like ten.
It was just like a whole It was just a
whole cinematic thing. You guys, when I'm telling you this
is a show in Netflix, you have to believe me.
And now a little to be getting fired. On a
random Friday in September, had lost my cousin continue resting
(22:02):
in peace, and we attended the barrier. So there's a
meeting that was supposed to be held on that morning,
of which if normally, if you're applying for a live
day or whatever, the duties of your day as are
queen quote given to another person. If usually maybe do
(22:22):
your work. Maybe you have ten files to close or
ten files to file, then you turn files on that day.
Maybe five of them will be given to your colleague,
so the other five you can come and work on
them maybe on Monday. If you and you know live
days as stipulated in the law. It's just that you
wake up hoard and decide that you know it's already
in the law. So on this day I had asked
(22:46):
to be away from work because I was attending my
cousin's barrier. So in the morning I get a call,
are you going to be in attendance of this meeting.
So that boss had held a meeting and I was
supposed to be there, which I said I woulded to
be there. Another colleague of mine would have been an
(23:07):
in attendance, was also a lawyer. But then this colleague
goes from the other office where I was working at,
so he's like, no, you need to be here, and
he insisted I needed to be there, and I told
him I'm not. I'm not supposition to because even in
a ruby, you were burying my cousin far away from
a ruby, and during the morning when people are even
(23:28):
viewing the body and all that. You know, the mornings
of burials, the first hours are usually like intense, then
later on during the day it's a bit calm. Then
now when you're burying again, the emotions go high. So
it's usually high, a bit calm, then high. Then after
now you have the grief to handle. So hey, I
(23:49):
get a cold consecutive calls and they were overwhelming me.
So even when everything was going on, I was outside.
I was outside, and I was just taking this call
and taking this calls and taking this called, and funny
things that already delegated the duties, like everything was in place,
just that the fact that I wasn't around couldn't sit
right with this particular man, and I broke down into tears.
(24:13):
And the burial till now it remains vig the first
part of it until the point it got to where
we were now barring. Now my cousin with the casket
goes down. That's when I switched off my phone to
finish up with the barring ceremony. Then now go back
to whatever thing was happening. And I finished, And at
(24:35):
that time, by the way, before barring my cousin, I
had said I'm not going back to that place. I
had ready clocked that I'm not going back, and I said,
I'm going to render my resignation tomorrow. No tomorrow being Saturday, okay,
since we're baring on Friday. So I went on with
the barrel. Eventually switched on my phone, but I went
on with the burial. And on Saturday, I clocked in
(24:57):
work and I wrote down my rosin nation letter saying
I'm out of this place, over and out deuces and
tell me why. When I got home, the distance between
Westland and my place on a Saturday is literally twenty minutes.
There's no traffic on Saturday, and you're against traffic because
(25:17):
people are coming on to town and decides, and you're
against traffic. When I got home immediately at least my
bag on the chair, my cousin forwarded me a message.
How my cousin may they fwed me? This message is
because at some point I called with her phone. I
think my phone was out. It's either airtime or whatever.
So my cousin, my cousin gets a text and she
(25:39):
forwards it to me, and the text said, jumbie, do
not come back again sometimes with certain county. Remember it clearly.
My previous phone had that message, but now I don't
have it anymore. I don't come tomorrow. Tell her not
to come in de Adada. I'm like, okay, cool, And
my cousin said it's okay. In fact, you're very overwhelmed,
(26:00):
and I just laughed. I'm like, how did this man
know that I was going to render my resignation on
Monday and for me to agree render my resignation on Manday?
It's because Manday is a formal working day and you
can't render it past working on. So me I am
falling Withian law. Me I am fully guided by the
canon law. By then, sometimes you wonder, if all these
laws have been written down, and we have all these
(26:22):
statutes and bills, why are we not following them? Were
we assuming that whatever was written down is just big
and nonsense. Equally, it doesn't make sense given the state
of the issue, and it doesn't make sense that we
are bound by this law. We are bound by this flow,
why are we not following it to the core? And
all these things that have been written down and have
been passed. This is just to researcher, But this is
(26:42):
not This is not something that it was just written
down for the purpose of it. It's not a joke.
It's not supposed to bind us. And if we're going
against it, then someone needs to be eligible for that,
because what's the purpose of writing down and having all
these pills passed if you're not putting it into work. Yeah,
so Monday is here. Of course, the guard didn't make
(27:04):
it to Monday because she was fired on Saturday. And
I just saw the message. I'm like, okay, Well, then
he said for you to be paid whatever money that
we owe you, you need to return the uniform that
we you were given. So this uniform was such a
uniform person we had. They had customized suits for everyone,
(27:25):
and I just had one one suit for them from
them rather which was green in color, and a T
shirt for Fridays. And I packed the things and I
took them on Monday and I gave them to the
cleaner who used to clean that and I told him,
I have I have sent over the things that you required.
I need my money. And I kept on calling during
(27:47):
that week. I kept on calling, I kept on calling.
I just kept on calling and texting and calling and
texting till one day I realized that when you're talking
to yourself, it's giving a very toxic relationship. Not with
your partner. This is your former boss, right. And I
kept on asking for my money and just requesting for
(28:10):
it because and then I was really in their need
of like finances, and this came so abruptly. And also
that's a lot of money. It was a lot of money.
It was a lot of money. Let it be known
by then, it was a lot of money that would
have made sense. But then my mom shout out to
mom by the way, she said, CHAMBI, if this money
(28:32):
was meant to impact to you, it would have. So
you need to accept the fact that it's not meant
to impact you in any way, and maybe this is
a season for you to rest, to relax. You've been
on the move for quite a long time. You've been
just working and working and working and working. And if
someone I've decided has decided to take advantage of you,
(28:52):
just leave it to God. Another time, I asked her,
what do you mean leave it to God? I can't
leave it to God because this is something that we
need to justify on here. This is not a heavenly matter. Mom.
I was so angry and I was even asking my mom,
if you're talking about God, then why is God allowing
this to happen. He's like, probably God wanted you to
(29:15):
leave that place. But then even all of us didn't
listen to that, that decision that God had already made.
Will search through it because maybe usually think the purpose
of life is that monitor everything, and sometimes maybe it's not.
Sometimes the purpose your purpose is even God will grant you.
The finance is granted, everything granted, the love granted. But
sometimes there's a fulfilled life that beats all these things,
(29:38):
all these things that we're equating to purpose that for
me to be impactful, I have to be this type
of way for me to be in love. I have
to know sometimes your purpose is even bigger than all that.
Like sometimes in the world's legal, in the heavenly world,
all that has been canceled, Like your purpose maybe is
not there. You're busy, maybe fighting for salary that you
(30:00):
think his life changing and God has a greater deal
out of you. Maybe you're meant to be working in
the un You're meant to be outside there making impact,
touching the world with your story, things like those, and
then you're here. Then I just had to accept. And
now I never got paid by the way, my moneyly
and evil, and now I was starting grieving. Now my
(30:23):
cashier got to admission. Now, remember that was my year
of admission to the bar. And if you'd have told
me that two months ago. Because I got admitted in November,
I got fired in September. So in a month I
was grieving. But my admission, they gave me so much fulfillment.
(30:45):
It gave me so much that I even forgot. Once
upon a time I was crying myne I was crying
because I was in a toxic space. And even so
I feel as if that was just an affirmation from
God that sometimes the things that are supposed to make
you happy at the that you just be women do
means you the one who's putting the effort in that
in education as much as it's the parents being and
(31:07):
all that, and the one who's putting effort to start
you see, So maybe fulfillment is not out of someone
else coming to rip you away. It's out of you
saying I did this by myself. Even if you have
a support system, the motive or the goal is I
did this by myself. It's not whatever these people want
to come and rip you away. Because that one made
(31:28):
me doubt myself as a lawyer, like doubt. I was like, oh,
I wasn't meant to be a lawyer. And you know,
if I tell you the Constitution says this, the same
thing as I sleep on making reference to the government
because we're living in a bad state and we have
to mention these things. So if you mention someone, this
is what the Constitution says, and the counter it you
(31:49):
the one who seemed dumb, you see. Or if someone
goes contrary to that, you're like, oh, probably don't know
the constitution enough, you see. So this was the same thing.
This man Everything that I used to make used to
cut tight and it gets to your character, like, oh,
maybe I'm not enough. But then I was never meant
to be enough in his eyes. And that's also something
I did accept so quickly that Oh, I was thinking
(32:11):
validation from someone who went doesn't understand the law, because
if you do understand the law, you do understand this
is a livety. And whoever is in a toxic workplace,
I don't know how to navigate it. I don't know
what I can tell you, but maybe it gets better
and I hope that's enough. And just after that I
just navigated again, stayed unemployed for quite a long time,
for quite a long time. Then that's when I realized, oh,
(32:33):
you're a humanitarian lawyer. Get into this volunteering space. And
I got into this volunteering space, and this gave me
such fulfillment in life. I don't think I've ever felt
fulfilled as I was, and even till now, the urge
to help people in the humanitarian way, and I think
that's God's purpose for me, of which I'm not yet sure.
You see, So after that, my career it went on well.
(32:56):
Then got into another season of unemployment again because I
made a wrong move of which I shouldn't have. You
see this thing that I was telling you before. When
you see a bag, you're excited about that bag. We
excited to undrop that phone, or even wear that new
shirt that you bought. Sometimes imagine you don't need to
get look excited. Or rather, sometimes the shot isn't for you.
(33:19):
You wouldn't have bought it for white shirt, you'd have
taken a black one instead. And that's a thing, that's
a move that I made last year, sometimes last year.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Catch more African stories in the next episode of Legally Cues.
That's part too of Gashambi's story. And honestly, I'm just
like blown away by her carriage. Right, there's just so
much to sit with, but I'm going to share two
key takeaways that really stood out with me. Number one,
when she talks about failure not being the opposite of success. Ooh,
(33:48):
and it's part of the story. And this is when
she was talking about appreciating the four units that she
did pass and also just remembering who she was before
the trauma. I found that to be super power and
just like a reminder that fit is it's not a verdict. Right,
it's feedback. Sometimes it's even the thing that sharpens you
(34:08):
for your papas. But it's not like a verdict. It's
not a death sentence.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Right.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Also, as much as it was heavy when she talks
about workplace abuse that we sat with me, especially the
power it takes to break the silence. Right, So her
honesty about sexual harassment in the legal world is not
just like her being vulnerable and open with us, which
I appreciate. I think it's super necessary. I mean, she
(34:38):
even says it herself. She talks about how those stories
never seen the light of day, but like by sharing hers,
she gives you and I and other women permission to
just name what has happened to us and to know that,
like you're not imagining it, it happened and you're not alone.
I just feel like this story, or this part of
her story, really just speaks to this greater has that
(35:00):
we have. And timing looking nothing like what we imagine,
and sometimes it looks like the firing, it looks like
the delay, it looks like the disappointment, but all of
that really is protection. Pot three is going to be
out next week, but before we get there, I want
to know what you've connected with so far in her story,
drop it in the common section. You know when I
(35:23):
sing it's because I'm in a good mood. However, if
you have listened to the story and you want to
share your story as well, in the show notes, you
can fill in our storytellerform and one of our correspondents
is going to get back to you. Remember to subscribe
wherever you're listening to this on so you do not
miss out on any of our four weekly shows. Sign
(35:46):
up for our newsletter on our website, legallyclearlessafrica dot com,
and thank you so much for listening to this episode
to the very end as usual. You know that I
think that you have every single thing that it takes
to heal. That's it for this episode of Legally Clueless.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
You can share this podcast with your friends, you can
keep it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I'm not judging. Just make sure you're here next week
for the next episode.
My name is Adela on Jangle and welcome to another
episode of Legally Clueless. No, seriously, i have no clue
what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the
only one.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Hey you, welcome to another episode of Legally Clueless. Thank
you so much for working with the podcast. OG members
have got nothing but love for you, and special love
to everybody who was tugging us in your spotifyed wrapped
posts online and your YouTube rapped. I didn't know there
was a YouTube wrapped And one particular member of our community.
(00:34):
Shout out to Eve, who also came through for our
final group therapy session this past Saturday. She's the one
who told me YouTube has a rapped thing. I had
no idea, and she was among our top zero point
one percent of YouTube viewers. So I really appreciate all
(00:55):
of you. If you're new, be here, Welcome to the fam.
This particular show goes out every single where different Africans
come to and share stories from their lived experience, and
then on Wednesdays we have the Midweek TI's where I
break down topics that I think are going to help
you on your healing journey. Our newsletter also goes out
on Wednesdays. On Thursdays, we have for Manneralist Women, which
(01:16):
is our newest baby. I say news will be in
season three, but it started this year. And if you
are on a journey as an African woman to becoming
your best self, that is a massed watch or listen
to shows, So make sure you subscribe to our YouTube
and follow us on Insta and TikTok. All of them
links are in the show notes. However, in this episode,
(01:38):
we're jumping into part two of Gashambi's story. If you've
not listened to pot one, you may want to go
back to the previous episode, otherwise you're just going to
be floating all right. One of course, we met her
navigating grief, expectations, academic pressure, and just like going through
this rediscovery of herself, now in part two, more things
(01:59):
come to life from traumatic toxic workplaces, sexual harassment in
the legal field, and just like the courage it takes
to walk away from spaces that were really just shrinking her,
let's jump into it.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
A hundred African stories are legally cueless stories from Africa.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
As though we usually have a total of nine exams
for you to pass for you to now be admitted
as an advocate. One you have to have passed all
the nine units, and two you have to undergo a
pupilage program, of which it's an internship really for like
six months now. After the exams and I checked, I'm like,
I passed four exams, only what do you mean for?
(02:46):
I had past four exams so for out of nine?
So Mini had five more exams toy do. And I
cried and I called my best friend and we cried.
We just cried. We spent the whole livening crying, and
I told her I want to cancel my trip. She's like,
don't cancel your tube because at the end of the day,
there's also here already and you already paid for your chip,
so you just go. There's also no changing right now.
(03:08):
They're going to change when you get to redo them.
And I went on that vacation and I was a
bit sad because yet again, being a high functional person,
I just I like everything under control and I'm not
want to leave things. I'm like, why would I leave
my grids here and go have fun? But then I
wasn't leaving my grids. You carry your grids with it.
(03:29):
If it's four passes I was cutting them with me.
So I went and came back and now the following
you know what I did, I remarked one of the units,
since it was close to the past mark, I passed.
So now I was at five. So five out of
night time, they had four more exams. Yeah, for more exams,
And I kept on repeating. Now this is through three
(03:51):
till the last time I did the exams, and it
passed in July twenty twenty three. And this is where
I usually know that god'story you. It's just for you,
and there's no other way that it's going to happen
a patrol doing. God has set it out for you.
Because maybe if I'd passed that a goal, the outcome
of life wouldn't have been the same. Because in between
the failure, I even learned to appreciate the four you see, like, okay,
(04:14):
I've failed, but I've passed four you see. But if
I hadn't failed, even in units, I would have known
the impact of failure. I wouldn't have seen it as
if I did a good job. And in between the
transitioning of tree taking all these units, I did study
and study heard and I remembered who JUMBI was before
all this. I remember, JUMPI, once upon a time, you
(04:36):
were a smart girl. You used to sit down and
to get ease and whatever. I used to be top
of the class. So there's nothing that has changed. The imagine.
You can remove all the trauma side and remember who
you are, even if you're going to pick it up
once you leave the door, but remember who you are.
You're a smart girl. And I locked in and I
finished the exams and now transitioned into work just a
(04:58):
bit and bity and there, just trying to navigate this
legal space, of which it's very hard. By the way,
it's very hard. It's very hard. So sheltered to whoever
is doing their own thing, just keeping on because even
in the legal space here in Kenya, I do know
about other countries, we're often told that we have to
stick to one line. You see that after becoming an advocate,
(05:20):
you have to be a litigant. After becoming this, you
have to do this. But then, who say that all
of us have to go to million money, Who say
that all of us have to be sports lawyers, Who
say that all of us have to There's so many
things we can do as lawyers and I feel as
if most people are not vocal about it. Maybe maybe not,
or maybe I haven't done my research well, but let's
(05:40):
bring more conversations about how you can diversify this career.
Because the table is big enough for all of us
to eat, but you don't have to be on the
same table. You could be seated in a four by
six table. I could be seated in a six by
four table and it's okay. It doesn't take the facuation
or a lawyer. So navigating the legal space had been
had by then, because I wasn't even I wasn't even
(06:02):
sure that I wanted to go to the route that
people had said you have to go. I've always wanted
to be a humanitarian lawyer. For me, anything to do
with humanitarian law called me even at three am. I'll
wake up. But then, now knowing that the corporate space,
the way I'm telling you, the legal space has been
set up, you have to accept maybe particular jobs which
(06:23):
you know for real they're not in line with whatever
God's purpose is for you, but you'll just take it.
You're like, okay, bills have to be paid and all that.
So that had been me by then, and I got
into volunteering a lot. I got into volunteering a lot
in Angiers just waking up and seeing an application and
putting an application for volunteers. I did get a lot
(06:45):
of volunteering jobs. And now this goes back to even
last year during the family side match that we had,
I got a volunteering job from one of the best
lady that I've met, who's like a mentor to me,
and she's always encouraged me in this space. So in retrospect,
I just tell lawyers, don't be afraid to even start
(07:06):
from scratch. As long as you know this is what
I'm meant to be doing, even if you're starting on
a clean slate that doesn't even equate to money, just
take it as long as you know your passion lize
they just take it, and the God who sees all
of us, when they will fulfill that purpose for you.
So yeah, I got into this particular space of jobs.
Some of them are toxic and hat wrenching. Some of them,
(07:28):
Oh my god, there's one. There's one job that I
had in twenty twenty three and it made me hit
the corporate world. That changed, of course, but it made me.
It made me hit the corporate world entirely. And this
was just a month or like a few months before
my admission, and it was the most toxic environment, with
the most toxic job, with the most toxic boss. The
(07:52):
only good thing that came out of it is just
a friendship. When I tell a friendship has grounded me
all throughout my life because I met the most loveliest
ladies on there. But I was broken. I was broken
at all. And I asked, my God, why did you
now tell me to step into a career that is
not even equating to anything. And even if it's not
(08:13):
equating to money, I'm losing myself, Like I don't know
who I am anymore. I have anxiety, everything gole day.
I can't sit and be. And the funny thing is,
I got fired. By the way, let it be known
that people do get fired outside here, and it's okay.
It's okay. It doesn't take away the fact that you're
a good person and you're good at your work. So
(08:33):
I got fired, and man's down the line, this company fell,
and I told myself, that is good.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
That is good. That is good.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
I told you, I know other way this is good.
So this was a few months before my admission sometime
in twentwenty three. And according to the legal world, or
according to Kenyon law, you have to do your privilege,
do your privilege after you're done, then get admitted once
your first exams. So I did my paplege in a
(09:03):
particular low firm somewhere in west and it was nice,
but it lasted finished my pavilege. Then after there's this
great period called holding over whereby you just awaiting admission,
you can either continue the same firm or you can
look for another job or whatever. So on a random day,
my boss comes, He's like, oh, Jambie, there's this opportunity
(09:27):
that has come up, and i'd want you to consider it.
And then I questioned him, what you mean, why do
you want me to take up that job? He's like,
on here where you are, Yes, we're going to we
can stay with you, but you're not going to grow.
And at the same time, you can always use all
the skills you've leant in this new office. I'm like, Okay,
you bet, And then I was scheduled for an interview
(09:48):
on Monday. Oh, this was Friday when he told me that.
So he's scheduled for an interview on Monday. So on Monday,
Jambee has suits freshly ironed, goes to this other office
in Westlands. Did Westlands, Westlands? So I got to this
office in Westlands and I get to this office and
(10:09):
it looks it looks different. I've been to many offices,
especially interviewed in many many offices, but this one, this
one really caught my eye. Not in a good way,
by the way. I was just wondering, I are we
Are we in a Netflix show? Or what's about to
happen here?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (10:28):
I work in Then I meet this particular gentleman and
I'm sat there. Then I start prepping myself for the interview,
you know the way an interview goes, introduce yourself and
all that. So after introducing myself, this guy first the world.
This man was on his phone. Even when I was
(10:48):
doing my introduction. He was literally on his phone, and
I was wondering, ah, happening where we were we? So
after I introduced myself, he just looked at me and
told me, yeah, you can start today. And I was like,
start today, because normally, when you do an interview, usually
given a day to start, you could be to come
tomorrow or come the week after. But then you told
(11:10):
me start today. I was like, okay, say less. Then
I was showing. I was shown where I'm supposed to
see and I was sat there. There were no computers,
no nothing. When I'm telling you guys, this listen is weird,
please believe me. And when it was sat there, since
we had no computers or we were into carrying laptops
rather or whatever, or I wasn't told to carry my laptop,
(11:32):
I was on my notebook and a journal and a
journal and I've never journaled for that long, by the way,
I was like page five, hey, page ten. Then after
a while, we were called for a meeting. So we go.
We go for this meeting in the same office, still
in the boardroom, and we started this meeting. And after
(11:54):
this meeting, you know, during the meeting, this particular boss
he pretends that he doesn't know me, by the way,
he's like, oh, I'm like I'm jumping like, oh yeah,
the new advocate or something of the sort. Mind you,
this was a recommendation call, like he had been told
Jambie's coming there. But then he was like acting as
(12:14):
if he doesn't know me, or he wasn't aware, but
as if I was intruding was something of the sort. Anyways,
finished the meeting and went through with the day, and
the first week okay. The first week was okay, but
now the second week I started doing red flags. I
told my mom, my heart is not okay here, like
I don't like it here. My mom was like, you know,
(12:38):
she didn't impose by the way. She just said, you
just see it through because at the end of the
day're getting admitted this year, so just sit there and
just sit through it as you wait your admission. Then
my mom was also of the opinion, or you can
go back to your previous holding over space a place rather,
But then I told her I don't want to go
back there. Discretion. By the way, I'm about to get
(13:00):
into sexual violence and all that in the workspace. So
normally in the work space, in the legal space. Because
I am in the legal space, I've seen girls and
even men getting sexually harassed, and then none of it
goes in the public domain because we're so I don't
know whether we're not used to talking about it in
(13:21):
the legal space or there's this protection of lawyers. I
don't know what's the issue there, but many a time,
so buy in this particular space, I got harassed, or
rather the intention to sexually harassed me came up, and
it happened a couple of times, but I used to
(13:42):
ignore it, but not ignorance. Really, it was just like
when it was when certain intentions were been thrown at me,
I used to block them. For example, maybe I could
get a comment like oh I like the dress that
you were wearing. I could counter it and see me
we have when we attending court, things like those, So
(14:05):
I never start through those conversations. But then this one
time it was actually very very scaredy. I was in
someone's office, this particular boss's office where I used to
do my holding over. And it feels weird talking about this,
by the way, but who else is going to talk
(14:26):
about the stories if not us? And when I was
in this office, there's a particular file that I was
meant to work on, and there's a particular cabinet as
well that was below. You see, you can have a
full on cabinet and you can have one that looks
as if it's half it looks like a console, but
(14:47):
then it's a cabinet. So this particular a boss was like, oh,
can you just bend and take that fire, and you know,
the doors closed, as like what am I bending? And
then I there was a seat there was sitting next
to the cabinet. I sat. I sat on the chair
(15:10):
because now you know, when you're sitting, you're in a
better potion to pull the file. And I sat because
i't know where I was going to bend for sure.
I sat and I pulled the file and I gave
it to him. And the funny thing is, even when
pulling the file, there's nothing, there's nothing substantial. He said
about the file so many his intention wasn't for me
(15:31):
to pull the file or whatever. It was just like
for me to bend. And I didn't because I didn't
and I didn't want to. It felt it's just like
wrong for you to tell someone to do certain things.
And after we were done, he tells me to return
the file, and I still did the same thing. I
sat on the chair and I opened the cabinet and
(15:51):
I returned the fire. And after that I cried so much.
I cried. I cried, I cried, I cried. I cried,
and I spoke to my then partner, who comforted me
by the way, and I was to live at that
point of which this was somewhere in December, now before
the holding over a year, But I didn't one knowing
PU privilege you have to be signed for the exact
(16:13):
documents required by school, so you have to sign a
documentary showing that you've done the privilege program whatever. And
since we were almost closing, the air school had been closed,
so the only time I could get my documents to
be signed was a following year. Yeah, it was weird.
It was weird, and the I didn't talk about I
talked to her about it, whether I spoke to my friends,
(16:33):
I spoke to my then partner, even my colleagues. I
told them when I cried, and I cried and I cried.
But ever since then, I just knew that sexual harassment
in the workplace is very rampant. It's very rampant. Some way,
argue me say and me say something contrary to whatever
I'm saying. Maybe I don't know, but for you to
(16:54):
be able to say such things, it had to be
out of speculation. You must have experienced certain things, even
if it's not through you, through your colleague, friends and whatever.
Such stories never see the light of the day because
maybe the shame behind it you see, and maybe as usual,
maybe you can be told that the victim is lying
or maybe she's gone who appreciated the whole thing, of
(17:14):
which I don't know, But it's actually sad, and people
need to be more vocal about it, even in the
legal space, because these are your seniors. Normally in the
legal world, whoever has been admitted before you to the
bise your senior, so you're seen and can't be perpetrating
you and just walking around the town or the city
just freely as if they've done nothing. You see. And
(17:36):
I know some of the stories may end up in
the public domain like this one. So no when I
put that trigger warning, but yeah, I got through it.
And now back to this other job that I told you.
I went for an interview and that's the same day.
So I told my mom, Aye, what's happening here? What's
happening here? My mom is like, see it through, and
(17:57):
I told her, say less, I'll see it through. So
around the week two, week three, I had gone as
an in house council. But then the work I was
doing was not given in house consol. We're busy doing
world tour is going to I don't know where, going
to camboo, going to particular cities and counties to do
it was just everything else apart from the work. Everything
(18:18):
that's apart from the work, And ask myself why we're
not like working here? Why are we not working? And
when work came in, it was very heavy, like it
was bulky work. You've been told to move the world,
move the world from point A to point B and
do it within an hour or something of the sort.
And it got overwhelming, and it got the point of
this particular boss started questioning my character and he started
(18:42):
shouting at me, and make it worse by the way,
you know, sometimes even the put around you usually usually
what's it called enable your behavior, because I wasn't getting
shouted at by this boss alone, even with a sister
who happened to be part of the organization as the
sea or something. So imagine you're getting shattered at by
(19:04):
your boss, You're getting shattered at by the sister, by
the cousin, by the neighbor. And it's at work. This
is not at home. By this is purely work. While
we bringing such things on here. And even so, if
I'm under you, if your boss, if your boss is
maybe one particular person in the family. Why is the
whole family coming at me yet it's the workplace. This
(19:26):
is not whom and I used to cry. Trust me,
I've cried in the corporash world. I have cried. I
have seen my better show of tears. And edially, tell God,
may I never cry again because of my career, because
you handed it over to me. You're the one who
gave me. I don't want to cry. I'd rather lack
than cry again, because there's nothing hurting more than crying
(19:49):
about something that you know, God, you selected me to
be maybe an engineer, or maybe a musician, or maybe
a dancer. I'm supposed to be crying tears of joy
and and even though I'm crying, it's not supposed to
be something that so had trenching to the point of
me questioning this career, you see. And I used to
cry is to cry, is to cry. It was just
(20:10):
like a normal routine for me to cry. And I
did stay there for two months, by the way, So
what happened to me transitioning into getting fired? This is
what happened. The two months had been shaky, full of tears,
full of yeah, and I was not even at my best.
I was really skinny. I was really sick. My uses
(20:30):
were at peak. And funny thing, a job can stipulate
the hours where you working. You could be told clocking
nine to five if it's a consultant thing, just an
hour for example, if it's a contraence three days you
see for this thing. We were told it's an age
to five or rather nine to five job. But we
used to leave work even at ten, at ten pm,
(20:53):
or even at sometimes eleven. It was just like weird
working hours. And trust me, we weren't working like you
could clock in you nine to five and then after
the things you're doing, why would you call for a
meeting at six pm? Why would you call for a
meeting at eight pm? Would you? And these are kids,
(21:14):
you know, these are kids. People have children, People have responsibilities,
and as much as there's work, people who have other
things to do. You'd rather be home doing your laundry
or even eating your meal and watching your favorite show
while am I at work at eleven? And you haven't
consented to do that. And this is not over time,
(21:36):
so it's by force you have to be there, and
the lack of your attendance is also an issue anyway,
So we used to even live work at like ten.
It was just like a whole It was just a
whole cinematic thing. You guys, when I'm telling you this
is a show in Netflix, you have to believe me.
And now a little to be getting fired. On a
random Friday in September, had lost my cousin continue resting
(22:02):
in peace, and we attended the barrier. So there's a
meeting that was supposed to be held on that morning,
of which if normally, if you're applying for a live
day or whatever, the duties of your day as are
queen quote given to another person. If usually maybe do
(22:22):
your work. Maybe you have ten files to close or
ten files to file, then you turn files on that day.
Maybe five of them will be given to your colleague,
so the other five you can come and work on
them maybe on Monday. If you and you know live
days as stipulated in the law. It's just that you
wake up hoard and decide that you know it's already
in the law. So on this day I had asked
(22:46):
to be away from work because I was attending my
cousin's barrier. So in the morning I get a call,
are you going to be in attendance of this meeting.
So that boss had held a meeting and I was
supposed to be there, which I said I woulded to
be there. Another colleague of mine would have been an
(23:07):
in attendance, was also a lawyer. But then this colleague
goes from the other office where I was working at,
so he's like, no, you need to be here, and
he insisted I needed to be there, and I told
him I'm not. I'm not supposition to because even in
a ruby, you were burying my cousin far away from
a ruby, and during the morning when people are even
(23:28):
viewing the body and all that. You know, the mornings
of burials, the first hours are usually like intense, then
later on during the day it's a bit calm. Then
now when you're burying again, the emotions go high. So
it's usually high, a bit calm, then high. Then after
now you have the grief to handle. So hey, I
(23:49):
get a cold consecutive calls and they were overwhelming me.
So even when everything was going on, I was outside.
I was outside, and I was just taking this call
and taking this calls and taking this called, and funny
things that already delegated the duties, like everything was in place,
just that the fact that I wasn't around couldn't sit
right with this particular man, and I broke down into tears.
(24:13):
And the burial till now it remains vig the first
part of it until the point it got to where
we were now barring. Now my cousin with the casket
goes down. That's when I switched off my phone to
finish up with the barring ceremony. Then now go back
to whatever thing was happening. And I finished, And at
(24:35):
that time, by the way, before barring my cousin, I
had said I'm not going back to that place. I
had ready clocked that I'm not going back, and I said,
I'm going to render my resignation tomorrow. No tomorrow being Saturday, okay,
since we're baring on Friday. So I went on with
the barrel. Eventually switched on my phone, but I went
on with the burial. And on Saturday, I clocked in
(24:57):
work and I wrote down my rosin nation letter saying
I'm out of this place, over and out deuces and
tell me why. When I got home, the distance between
Westland and my place on a Saturday is literally twenty minutes.
There's no traffic on Saturday, and you're against traffic because
(25:17):
people are coming on to town and decides, and you're
against traffic. When I got home immediately at least my
bag on the chair, my cousin forwarded me a message.
How my cousin may they fwed me? This message is
because at some point I called with her phone. I
think my phone was out. It's either airtime or whatever.
So my cousin, my cousin gets a text and she
(25:39):
forwards it to me, and the text said, jumbie, do
not come back again sometimes with certain county. Remember it clearly.
My previous phone had that message, but now I don't
have it anymore. I don't come tomorrow. Tell her not
to come in de Adada. I'm like, okay, cool, And
my cousin said it's okay. In fact, you're very overwhelmed,
(26:00):
and I just laughed. I'm like, how did this man
know that I was going to render my resignation on
Monday and for me to agree render my resignation on Manday?
It's because Manday is a formal working day and you
can't render it past working on. So me I am
falling Withian law. Me I am fully guided by the
canon law. By then, sometimes you wonder, if all these
laws have been written down, and we have all these
(26:22):
statutes and bills, why are we not following them? Were
we assuming that whatever was written down is just big
and nonsense. Equally, it doesn't make sense given the state
of the issue, and it doesn't make sense that we
are bound by this law. We are bound by this flow,
why are we not following it to the core? And
all these things that have been written down and have
been passed. This is just to researcher, But this is
(26:42):
not This is not something that it was just written
down for the purpose of it. It's not a joke.
It's not supposed to bind us. And if we're going
against it, then someone needs to be eligible for that,
because what's the purpose of writing down and having all
these pills passed if you're not putting it into work. Yeah,
so Monday is here. Of course, the guard didn't make
(27:04):
it to Monday because she was fired on Saturday. And
I just saw the message. I'm like, okay, Well, then
he said for you to be paid whatever money that
we owe you, you need to return the uniform that
we you were given. So this uniform was such a
uniform person we had. They had customized suits for everyone,
(27:25):
and I just had one one suit for them from
them rather which was green in color, and a T
shirt for Fridays. And I packed the things and I
took them on Monday and I gave them to the
cleaner who used to clean that and I told him,
I have I have sent over the things that you required.
I need my money. And I kept on calling during
(27:47):
that week. I kept on calling, I kept on calling.
I just kept on calling and texting and calling and
texting till one day I realized that when you're talking
to yourself, it's giving a very toxic relationship. Not with
your partner. This is your former boss, right. And I
kept on asking for my money and just requesting for
(28:10):
it because and then I was really in their need
of like finances, and this came so abruptly. And also
that's a lot of money. It was a lot of money.
It was a lot of money. Let it be known
by then, it was a lot of money that would
have made sense. But then my mom shout out to
mom by the way, she said, CHAMBI, if this money
(28:32):
was meant to impact to you, it would have. So
you need to accept the fact that it's not meant
to impact you in any way, and maybe this is
a season for you to rest, to relax. You've been
on the move for quite a long time. You've been
just working and working and working and working. And if
someone I've decided has decided to take advantage of you,
(28:52):
just leave it to God. Another time, I asked her,
what do you mean leave it to God? I can't
leave it to God because this is something that we
need to justify on here. This is not a heavenly matter. Mom.
I was so angry and I was even asking my mom,
if you're talking about God, then why is God allowing
this to happen. He's like, probably God wanted you to
(29:15):
leave that place. But then even all of us didn't
listen to that, that decision that God had already made.
Will search through it because maybe usually think the purpose
of life is that monitor everything, and sometimes maybe it's not.
Sometimes the purpose your purpose is even God will grant you.
The finance is granted, everything granted, the love granted. But
sometimes there's a fulfilled life that beats all these things,
(29:38):
all these things that we're equating to purpose that for
me to be impactful, I have to be this type
of way for me to be in love. I have
to know sometimes your purpose is even bigger than all that.
Like sometimes in the world's legal, in the heavenly world,
all that has been canceled, Like your purpose maybe is
not there. You're busy, maybe fighting for salary that you
(30:00):
think his life changing and God has a greater deal
out of you. Maybe you're meant to be working in
the un You're meant to be outside there making impact,
touching the world with your story, things like those, and
then you're here. Then I just had to accept. And
now I never got paid by the way, my moneyly
and evil, and now I was starting grieving. Now my
(30:23):
cashier got to admission. Now, remember that was my year
of admission to the bar. And if you'd have told
me that two months ago. Because I got admitted in November,
I got fired in September. So in a month I
was grieving. But my admission, they gave me so much fulfillment.
(30:45):
It gave me so much that I even forgot. Once
upon a time I was crying myne I was crying
because I was in a toxic space. And even so
I feel as if that was just an affirmation from
God that sometimes the things that are supposed to make
you happy at the that you just be women do
means you the one who's putting the effort in that
in education as much as it's the parents being and
(31:07):
all that, and the one who's putting effort to start
you see, So maybe fulfillment is not out of someone
else coming to rip you away. It's out of you
saying I did this by myself. Even if you have
a support system, the motive or the goal is I
did this by myself. It's not whatever these people want
to come and rip you away. Because that one made
(31:28):
me doubt myself as a lawyer, like doubt. I was like, oh,
I wasn't meant to be a lawyer. And you know,
if I tell you the Constitution says this, the same
thing as I sleep on making reference to the government
because we're living in a bad state and we have
to mention these things. So if you mention someone, this
is what the Constitution says, and the counter it you
(31:49):
the one who seemed dumb, you see. Or if someone
goes contrary to that, you're like, oh, probably don't know
the constitution enough, you see. So this was the same thing.
This man Everything that I used to make used to
cut tight and it gets to your character, like, oh,
maybe I'm not enough. But then I was never meant
to be enough in his eyes. And that's also something
I did accept so quickly that Oh, I was thinking
(32:11):
validation from someone who went doesn't understand the law, because
if you do understand the law, you do understand this
is a livety. And whoever is in a toxic workplace,
I don't know how to navigate it. I don't know
what I can tell you, but maybe it gets better
and I hope that's enough. And just after that I
just navigated again, stayed unemployed for quite a long time,
for quite a long time. Then that's when I realized, oh,
(32:33):
you're a humanitarian lawyer. Get into this volunteering space. And
I got into this volunteering space, and this gave me
such fulfillment in life. I don't think I've ever felt
fulfilled as I was, and even till now, the urge
to help people in the humanitarian way, and I think
that's God's purpose for me, of which I'm not yet sure.
You see, So after that, my career it went on well.
(32:56):
Then got into another season of unemployment again because I
made a wrong move of which I shouldn't have. You
see this thing that I was telling you before. When
you see a bag, you're excited about that bag. We
excited to undrop that phone, or even wear that new
shirt that you bought. Sometimes imagine you don't need to
get look excited. Or rather, sometimes the shot isn't for you.
(33:19):
You wouldn't have bought it for white shirt, you'd have
taken a black one instead. And that's a thing, that's
a move that I made last year, sometimes last year.
Speaker 2 (33:27):
Catch more African stories in the next episode of Legally Cues.
That's part too of Gashambi's story. And honestly, I'm just
like blown away by her carriage. Right, there's just so
much to sit with, but I'm going to share two
key takeaways that really stood out with me. Number one,
when she talks about failure not being the opposite of success. Ooh,
(33:48):
and it's part of the story. And this is when
she was talking about appreciating the four units that she
did pass and also just remembering who she was before
the trauma. I found that to be super power and
just like a reminder that fit is it's not a verdict. Right,
it's feedback. Sometimes it's even the thing that sharpens you
(34:08):
for your papas. But it's not like a verdict. It's
not a death sentence.
Speaker 3 (34:13):
Right.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
Also, as much as it was heavy when she talks
about workplace abuse that we sat with me, especially the
power it takes to break the silence. Right, So her
honesty about sexual harassment in the legal world is not
just like her being vulnerable and open with us, which
I appreciate. I think it's super necessary. I mean, she
(34:38):
even says it herself. She talks about how those stories
never seen the light of day, but like by sharing hers,
she gives you and I and other women permission to
just name what has happened to us and to know that,
like you're not imagining it, it happened and you're not alone.
I just feel like this story, or this part of
her story, really just speaks to this greater has that
(35:00):
we have. And timing looking nothing like what we imagine,
and sometimes it looks like the firing, it looks like
the delay, it looks like the disappointment, but all of
that really is protection. Pot three is going to be
out next week, but before we get there, I want
to know what you've connected with so far in her story,
drop it in the common section. You know when I
(35:23):
sing it's because I'm in a good mood. However, if
you have listened to the story and you want to
share your story as well, in the show notes, you
can fill in our storytellerform and one of our correspondents
is going to get back to you. Remember to subscribe
wherever you're listening to this on so you do not
miss out on any of our four weekly shows. Sign
(35:46):
up for our newsletter on our website, legallyclearlessafrica dot com,
and thank you so much for listening to this episode
to the very end as usual. You know that I
think that you have every single thing that it takes
to heal. That's it for this episode of Legally Clueless.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
You can share this podcast with your friends, you can
keep it for yourself.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I'm not judging. Just make sure you're here next week
for the next episode.
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