March 27, 2025 • 40 mins
As the Entertain-a-thon begins, an ostrich detective and a cartoon fox join forces to help a missing child find her dad. And neither of them have ulterior motives. None whatsoever.
Currently Playing: Space Kings
LIVE LAUGH LOOT IS:
AyItsGreyJ (he/him) as GM
GamingNavi (she/they) as Felicia Fox
Wolfkaosaun (he/him) as Ozzy
MUSIC THIS EPISODE:
Out of Control by Chill Carrier (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
Marantz PMD221 Stereo Summing Test by HOME
Genom natten i en dators sken by Stevia Sphere (licensed under CC BY 3.0)
One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then don't watch the show. Okay, bye!
Hey there, welcome to episode 1 of Live Laugh Loot. Our first campaign will begin in just a
moment, but a quick heads up, we also released an episode 0 today where we talk about all
the stuff that we played through before we started recording this show. You don't need
(00:26):
to listen to that to understand the story of this current campaign at all,
but it will explain all the in-jokes and the references that we make.
Anyway, enough preamble, let's get to the show.
So I'll just do a quick little intro, I'll get us started, and then I'll
point to each of you to introduce yourselves and your character and all that.
How can you point to us when we're digital?
I'm going to point at my screen, I see a little GamingNavi icon,
(00:49):
I see a little Wolfkausaun icon, I'm going to tickle them both with my
fingies and you're going to feel it through the transitive property.
My senses aren't working today.
Alright, well, then I'll just tell you two, I guess, if that's what we gotta do.
(01:26):
Hey everybody, welcome to Live Laugh Loot, the only podcast where three people come
together and play tabletop role-playing games. Don't bother to look it up,
that's a true fact.
Only one for copywriting the idea.
The only one, and if any others come out after this, or before this,
this is a retroactive contract, we are going to sue them.
(01:49):
I am your host AyItsGreyJ, and I'm going to be playing your GM today
as we play through a system called Space Kings.
Which is a fun little improvisational role-playing game.
At least that's what it says on the title of the book,
although I put in the word fun, which should be on there,
because this is a fun, fun game.
Hopefully you're going to have fun listening to us bullshit about in it.
(02:11):
So as I said, I'm going to be the GM today.
Space Kings is a very rules-light and improv-heavy system.
It's very simple to play, all you need is a 54 deck of cards,
that is, you know, ace through king with the Jokers still in.
And that's all you need.
It's really simple, really easy to pick up and play.
(02:33):
And yeah, I'm just going to go around the virtual room here,
got two players with me today.
Let's introduce ourselves.
Wolf, let's start with you.
Tell us who you are and what you do and what your character is.
Hello, my name is Wolf K. Osan.
I do comedic video game reviews over on YouTube.
I like to look at a lot of retro games,
(02:53):
but also some newer games.
I try to just have fun with it.
I try to be, you know, insightful,
as well as just having fun with the video
and just saying whatever comes to mind.
I do a lot of improv within those videos.
But also, I write down the bullet points
and then say them out loud and then realize,
oh, I should fix that,
because those were just words that made no sense.
(03:16):
And speaking of no sense,
the character that I'm playing,
their name is Ozzy the Ostrich.
Pretty much think an L.A. Noire type detective,
but Ostrich, straight up Ostrich,
there's no human qualities to him outside of,
well, he's a detective.
Oh, and he's from Earth as well.
(03:37):
So he's got no arms, just like.
No, he's just an ostrich.
Yeah, just straight up an ostrich from the African continent.
Yes, also he has a hat.
Yes, it's a little detective hat.
Yes.
Yeah.
Everything else, straight up ostrich.
Navi, please introduce yourself
and what you do and who your character is.
(03:58):
Hello, everyone.
I am Navi.
I used to do comedic reviews on YouTube,
like Sean did,
and I took a break to become a VTuber.
The next Twilight Princess, Navi.
My character is the...
Hold on, let me get my voice filter.
The fantastic Felicia Fox,
the greatest cartoon character created
for the last 2000 years.
(04:19):
And she's a...
Basically, she's an actress
permanently owned by Space Disney,
who just does whatever she wants.
Yeah, we've been...
The three of us have been playing Space Kings
for a little while now,
and we figured, hey, let's do it,
but we talk into microphones that record them.
Because again, no one has done this before.
(04:39):
So like I said, I'm going to be playing GM,
so I've got a little bit of an intro paragraph
if we are all ready to get into this campaign.
Oh, absolutely.
I'm ready to go.
Oh, right.
Cue the music.
It is the middle of the 228th Galactic Millennium,
Earth year 6591.
(05:01):
Although humans have spread across the universe,
like the virus that they are,
many have also remained behind in the Solar System
as their brothers and sisters explored the stars.
Sol is much like it is now.
The Earth is covered in trash,
and life isn't all that great.
But thanks to advances in space-faring technology
and knowledge shared from species
from other star systems,
(05:22):
humanity has now colonized several other planets,
moons, and interstellar bodies,
and left trash there as well.
One such place is Titan,
Saturn's largest moon.
It was built up as a safe haven for the rich and famous
to get away from the riff-raff on other developing worlds,
with the intent on it becoming humanity's second capital homeworld.
That never happened,
(05:43):
as it was later passed over
in favor of the government centers on Ganymede.
But Titan still maintains the illusion of glitz and glamour,
especially in the city known as Follywood.
Follywood was humanity's attempt to create a second haven
for artists, writers, actors, and directors.
After the streets of Hollywood on Earth ran aground with poverty,
(06:03):
this is a place where you'll see many celebrities,
famous across the galaxy,
wandering the streets,
usually escorted with armed personnel
or some protection of their own.
Rich in fake plastic palm trees
and decadent tax-wasting fountains,
it is a testament to humanity's continued pursuit of excess.
Every 100 years,
beings from across the galaxy
(06:23):
gather at the Follywood Convention Center
for the Entertain-a-Thon,
the largest gathering for galactic citizens
to meet their favorite movie stars,
musicians, TV heartthrobs,
cartoon characters, streamers, and mascots.
It's got everything you could ever want.
Over-stuffed vendor halls,
over-priced mediocre food,
over-worked artists desperate for cash,
(06:44):
over-zealous fans,
many of which are dressed in cosplay
of various degrees of quality,
overwhelming nerd smell,
and a ball pit.
It is here where we open.
Not the ball pit.
I've seen this before.
It is here where we open,
just outside the convention.
All right, we are zooming outside
(07:06):
of the convention hall itself
in the security section
to get into the building.
We open on an ostrich in a detective hat
looking up at the building.
Ozzy, what's going through your mind right now
as you're standing outside the convention center?
Hmm.
Conventions, they never change.
(07:26):
As he puts out a cigarette,
takes a deep breath,
and he walks in.
Before you walk into the convention,
you are, you stand in front of
a security guard who is looking at you.
This is a human male with dark sunglasses,
a big black t-shirt that says "security"
(07:47):
and dark jeans,
who looks up at you and says,
I need to see your badge, sir.
Ozzy, you do not have a badge
for this convention.
All you have on you is instructions
that were given to you
left on your doorstep
by someone who did not sign their name
that they needed to meet you
inside the convention halls.
I'm here on business, kid.
(08:07):
And he's going to move his beak
and, you know, kind of do a little weird
like reach behind his feathers
around his, I guess, arm flap?
I don't know what to call that.
His wings.
That's it.
So he's going to go in there
and he's going to pull out
his detective badge and say,
this is the best I got.
Take it or leave it.
(08:29):
That's going to be presence
and persuasion to try
and convince him to let you in.
All right.
So my persuasion is two
and presence is two.
So that is four.
And I'm healthy.
So that's five, one, two, three.
Great. Four, five.
I got no successes whatsoever.
(08:49):
Damn.
Excellent.
So just to explain the Space Kings rules,
every time you make a flip,
you're flipping down cards.
Face cards and ace cards are successes.
Everything else is a failure.
And the Jokers are a twist
gets to be put into the narrative by me.
So that's not going to work.
So Wolfkaosan flipped no faces or aces.
(09:11):
So that is no successes,
which means without even looking
at your detective's badge,
the security guard says,
I can't let you in
without a pass to the convention, sir.
And he puts the badge away
and starts mumbling.
All right.
How much is a badge?
You needed to buy your badge
(09:31):
before the convention.
We have sold out of them, sir.
And he like looks behind him
and tries to see if he could find
possibly a scalper around.
Let me do a quick
world building flip for scalper.
You see somebody is leaning up
against a fake plastic palm tree
outside the convention.
You're not sure why,
(09:51):
but you're getting a shifty vibe
off of him.
That might be a scalper.
It might be.
Ozzy is going to go over to them
and say, you got any tickets?
This guy looks up at you and says,
that depends on what you can offer me, sir.
What do you want?
(10:12):
I will give you a badge
to get in the convention for free,
but you've got to do something for me.
Then that's not free, is it?
I mean, I will give it to you
for no money,
which is also known as free.
What do you want?
There's someone inside the convention
that needs to go permanently,
(10:34):
if you know what I mean.
I'm just confused.
This guy talking to a possible cop
openly discussing murder with them.
We don't know what kind of detective Ozzy is.
All right.
Name.
See, he just accepted.
(10:54):
That helps.
That tells us a lot about what kind of cop he is.
What's your name?
My name's Ronnie.
Don't care about that.
Who am I looking for?
Oh, I apologize.
You're looking for a man
who goes by the name The Juggernaut.
That bitch.
Understood.
(11:15):
So we have a deal then, Mr...?
Ozzy.
Ozzy, it's good to do business with you.
He hands you a slightly chipped badge
that says Entertain-a-Thon all day pass.
Thank you.
Which you may add to your non-useful items.
Ozzy's gonna put a cigarette in his mouth
(11:37):
and just say,
Got a light?
Let's do a quick flip for light.
He does not have a light.
Sorry, I don't smoke.
You'd be a lot cooler if you did.
And he turns around and walks off.
All right, so you're gonna walk back up to the security guard?
Yep.
Yeah.
All right, he's looking at you
and you can't see his eyes
because again, dark sunglasses.
But his posture just indicates
(11:57):
that he is staring daggers at you.
Just gonna pull out the badge.
We good now?
Uh, one second to do a flip for this guy.
All right, so he narrows his eyes on your badge.
He should have probably recognized that
you just right in front of him
bought this badge from a scalper.
But he apparently isn't attentive enough.
(12:18):
So he just waves you in like,
Come on in, sir.
Ozzy walks in.
You walk into the entrance.
This is a really modern convention center.
There's just a bunch of stalls out in front
of people selling information stuff and maps.
And there's not too many people here right now
because all the activity would be on the floor.
(12:39):
But you see a few people walking around.
He just gives no mind
and goes back into his pocket
to take out the letter he got
to kind of see where he should go next
to meet this individual.
All right, you pull out a letter
which was written to you
on a ragged brown paper envelope.
You look at it again and it says,
I need your help.
(13:00):
Meet me at the Follywood Convention Center
in the food hall
next to the corn dog station.
He sighs, puts it away
and thinks to himself,
It's always corn dogs.
Does Ozzy have a history with corn dogs?
He does now.
Excellent.
Well, we'll incorporate that somehow.
He makes his way through the convention.
(13:22):
Not really paying any mind to anyone around him.
He just kind of like,
deadpan sayers ahead.
Just makes a beeline for it.
Doesn't really notice.
Well, I wouldn't say notice
but doesn't really care
to look at any of the vendors
or panels that may be going on.
Or even a ball pit.
Just going straight for the corn dogs
in the food hall.
You walk into the convention center.
(13:43):
It is packed here.
Just imagine like,
the busiest convention you've ever been to
times one and a half
and also it's space.
Ozzy, you know that
ostriches are relatively new
to the rest of the galaxy.
People are familiar with you as a concept
but there are plenty of species
(14:04):
who have never seen anything like you before.
So as you walk through the convention halls
you do get plenty of dirty looks.
You get people who are walking
against your direction
who as soon as they notice you
just sort of like,
stumble back a bit
and like really try to get out of your way.
And I assume you probably like
(14:24):
pay no notice of that
or if you do,
you don't bring it up.
Because I'm sure this happens to you
all the time where people are like,
holy fuck,
why is there a giant dinosaur walking around?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's just like,
I'm just going to keep walking.
Excellent.
And just go.
Well, you make your way into the food hall.
I'm going to need you to do a
(14:44):
intelligence and spacewise
to figure out where the meeting place is.
All right.
So it'll be seven cards.
Let's go.
Great.
One, two, three, four.
Are you kidding me?
Five, six, seven.
I have one success and a Joker.
(15:06):
Excellent.
Geez.
Well, you do manage to find the corn dog stall.
You pass by and you just get a whiff of fried corn batter
and it brings back memories from a previous case
and they're not very good memories.
The Corn Dog Snatcher.
The one that got away.
(15:26):
You can hear in your mind's ear
just the far off laughter of like a
cheesy cartoon villain laugh
as you see an image of a man in a trench coat
holding up like a bunch of corn dogs in his hands
laughing like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Am I like seeing this like kind of hallucinating it
(15:47):
or just like imagining it in my head?
No, this is all in your head.
Okay.
Yeah, you know this is just a bad memory
but it is affecting you pretty hard.
Yeah, he has like a scowl on his face now like,
uh, he's not looking very happy.
Nope.
You take a quick look around
and nobody has called your attention yet
(16:08):
so it looks like your contact is not here at the moment.
He's going to lean up against the wall
and literally he's going to say whoever's closest to him,
got a light.
I think probably who's the closest one to you
is the corn dog vendor.
So he'll be like, man, I don't got a light
but I'd be willing to give you a corn dog.
(16:28):
He doesn't even like respond to it.
He's just,
What?
No, you don't want a, you don't want a corn dog?
No money.
They're hot and fresh
and made with the finest meats and ingredients.
Does anyone else have a light?
You just say out loud to the convention.
Yeah.
Do a quick flip.
Dude, you're going to get thrown out.
Someone, uh, just some like random human passes by
(16:51):
is like, oh yeah, let me, uh, get that for you.
Takes out a lighter, uh, and lights your cigarette.
And you just,
got to drown out that corn dog smell somehow.
You lean up against the wall, smoking a cigarette
and, uh, you're just thinking back to all your previous work,
(17:12):
uh, the Corn Dog Snatcher in particular,
because this to try as you might to get rid of that smell,
it is right next to you.
Yep.
And, uh, you know, it's just,
it was just bad vibes in that whole case, man.
It's a bad time.
It's a bad time from beginning to end.
You think so much about this that, uh,
when you have a moment's reprieve away from your horrible
(17:32):
corn dog related, uh, misadventures,
you notice that, uh, you've been standing here for quite a while
and, uh, nobody has come up to you to say,
hey, I'm, are you my, are you the detective?
You've been standing here for what seems like hours.
God, I'm giving it five more minutes.
You're not even in the vendor's hall.
(17:54):
People would look at that and they'd know something was wrong.
Ozzy, if you want to do a wit and investigation check
to see if you can figure out anything,
like any, any trace of, of someone who was here
and maybe you missed them.
So you said wit and investigation?
Yep.
There'll be eight cards.
Yay.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
(18:20):
Uh, I have three successes and one is the Queen of Hearts.
Excellent.
In Space Kings, the Queen of Heart is a crit.
And Ozzy, your crit is two, which means that Queen of Hearts
counts for two cards or two successes rather,
which means you would have gotten four successes on that flip.
Ozzy, you can, uh, your keen detective eye
(18:42):
and, uh, your powerful ostrich nose, you know, whatever, uh,
tells you that somebody was standing around here
and waiting for a while, but, uh,
they're not here now.
You can see through the crowd of people walking around
that, uh, there do appear to be some oddly distinct footprints
on the floor, which lead away from your current position.
(19:04):
And you also see as you're looking around,
there's a little child lying on, not lying on the ground.
There's a little child sitting on the ground nearby,
and she looks like she's crying.
What's up, kid?
You all right?
As you walk closer to this kid to talk to her,
you notice that she is a Stoneguard,
one of the many races on this beautiful galaxy.
(19:27):
A Stoneguard is, you know, just a rock monster type race.
This kid looks very young for a rock monster.
In human years, probably about 102.
For a Stoneguard, that would be,
that would put them about like six years old,
which is very young.
She looks up at you and you can see stony tears
(19:48):
welling up in her eyes.
She isn't saying anything,
and you can tell that she is frightened and afraid.
Okay.
All right, hop on.
He's going to like lean down for her to get on to him.
That's going to be charm and empathy
to be, you know, be a nice stranger to this kid.
(20:11):
Great. I have only two.
Oh, cool.
Uh, I have one success out of the two cards I drew.
All right.
Uh, yeah, I think that's going to be enough for like the child
to like very slowly and cautiously reach up her hand
and kind of, were you like outstretching your wing
or what were you, what were you doing exactly?
I'm just kind of like leaning down,
(20:32):
like my head bowing for her to like get on
and kind of just like, you know, ride.
Basically like how like Donkey Kong
would get onto the ostrich.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
She climbs on your back and with tears still flowing in her eyes,
she's like, thanks, mister.
Don't mention it.
All right, I take it,
you don't have any parents around or nothing?
My dad is missing.
(20:53):
I lost him in this big place.
All right.
Well, he'll probably see a big ostrich
carrying around a child.
So I know someone who can maybe help find him,
but I don't know where she is.
Who might that be?
Her name's Felicia Fox.
She's my favorite cartoon character
and she's at this convention,
but I don't know where she is.
(21:14):
And she starts bawling more stony tears.
All right, come on.
And he's just gonna like kind of like giddy-up
and start walking.
All right, she got like a panel or something.
I don't know.
I think maybe she was doing signatures.
She's gonna like look around
and see if we can like find like anyone
(21:35):
who looks like they're working.
And yeah, like nearby you do see someone
who's dressed up in an entertainment,
like has an Entertain-a-Thon t-shirt
who's sort of walking around.
So you might be able to get their attention.
Hey, you.
They turn around and they're like,
yes, how can I help you?
Felicia Fox, where?
(21:57):
Oh, okay.
I got a kid crying on my back.
I was gonna say,
with the level of determination you said that,
I thought they were gonna turn him
into some sort of super fan.
Yeah, or like a stalker-killer.
Gosh.
The person looks at you
and looks at the crying child on your back
and she's like, is she okay?
(22:17):
Is she lost?
Yeah, and she said
Fifi would be able to help her or whatever.
Well, Felicia Fox is doing autographs right now,
which is at the other side
of the convention hall.
If you want to head straight there,
I think her time there is almost up.
All right.
And he's gonna turn around,
(22:38):
go into his wing pocket,
pull out another cigarette and say,
I'll see you.
Sir, there's no smoking in here.
Is it on fire?
Did you not light that cigarette?
No, he just put it in his mouth.
All right, that'll be,
I think that's gotta be like presence
and spacewise to try and like
(22:58):
bluff this person into thinking
that you're not breaking a rule.
All right, so that's gonna be five cards.
You just gotta convince them
that's part of your cosplay.
Two successes.
All right, the person is probably like
looking at you like,
okay, you can go on.
But it's sort of, you get the tone of like,
yeah, I don't get paid enough
to deal with a giant ostrich talking to me.
(23:19):
Yeah, so he's gonna start walking.
And as he does that,
he's gonna be like,
hey kid, I got a question.
Yeah?
You like fire?
That's not a good way to start.
Uh, I don't know.
It's kind of cool.
He's gonna hand her a match and say,
all right, you see that?
You just swipe it against your fist.
(23:41):
Watch what cool thing happens.
Okay.
I'll do a flip for this girl
to see if she can light a match
against her stone skin.
Wow, she got two successes.
She takes the match
and surprisingly expertly for a child,
swishes it in one go and it lights up.
And she is sort of looking at it like,
(24:02):
oh wow, I didn't know it would do that.
He likes a cigarette.
I'm glad the cards made it
that that was not like a weird moment.
Yeah.
So he likes a cigarette and just like,
remember kid,
sometimes people gonna use you
for their own benefit,
but they teach you something along the way.
(24:24):
Sorry.
Are you smoking in front of a child?
Yeah.
And giving out horrible advice?
Yeah.
So he says that he's walking
through the crowd, by the way.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Everyone is still like,
sort of like Andre the Giant style,
like parting around you,
giving you plenty of space.
Man, this character is so,
so much more different than my last one.
(24:46):
I just realized.
Yes, like a complete 180.
I didn't even mean for that to happen.
Just like, yeah, no, he's,
he's bitter towards the world.
So this stone child almost instinctively
puts the match out
before it starts to burn her fingertips.
She got that many successes.
She's like, that was cool, mister.
What's your name, by the way?
(25:08):
Ozzy.
Hi, Ozzy.
My name's Carley.
Oh, nice to meet you.
So where's your deadbeat dad at?
I don't know.
He, I don't know.
He, he, he left me behind
to do some business work
and he left me to get some cotton candy
and when I came back, he was gone.
(25:28):
What's your dad's name?
His name's Douglas.
Okay.
All right.
You've been walking through
the convention halls for a while
and at the end,
at the end of the convention hall,
you've now reached.
You see a long table with banners
featuring a bunch of celebrity names.
Most of them are pretty empty right now.
It's just like some B-listers
but there is one table who is,
(25:49):
which is very, very popular.
Felicia Fox,
you have been signing autographs
for the past 45 minutes.
How do you feel right now?
Well, darling, I must say,
I'm still feeling quite energized
and ready to go.
Excellent.
You are amazed
at the crowd of people who has turned out.
You are used to all this attention
(26:11):
and you relish in it
but it even, like,
this is a record turnout
compared to last year for you
or last century, I should say.
Felicia, you are finished signing
an autograph for a little boy
handed off to him
when all of a sudden
you see walking in your direction
an ostrich with a Stoneguard child
(26:32):
on top of him.
That's not something you see every day.
You, uh, you the fox lady?
Fox lady, please, darling,
my name is Felicia,
the fantastic Felicia Fox.
Is this the one?
He, like, looks back at the kid.
Carley is looking up at Felicia
(26:52):
just in awe, like, kind of stammering.
Like, I, I, I...
Ah, and who's this cookie?
My name's Carley.
Well, Carley, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Here, have an autograph
from your friend, Felicia Fox.
Wait, what do you mean, meet?
I thought you said that
she was gonna take you to your dad.
(27:13):
I'm what?
I'm sorry.
I'm too busy here with my session.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And he, like, leans down to let her off.
She's been looking for you.
She lost her dad.
She said you could help.
Well, that is a job-
I'm afraid that is a job for the security.
This is about my pay grade.
I'm being paid to sit here
(27:34):
and sign autographs and talk to fans.
I do have a panel and Q&A later,
and that is it.
He's going to, uh, he's gonna, uh,
pull out a cigarette and, like,
spit off to the side.
You're gonna sit here and tell me
that a kid is looking for you.
You're just gonna push her to the side?
Are you the only one she's looking for?
You gesture towards Carley as you're doing this,
(27:54):
and Felicia, you see that Carley
is just looking at the ground moping.
Almost like, wow, I get to meet my hero,
but I'm starting to get a little disappointed.
Come on, darling.
I'll take you to, I'll take you to the con security.
But you, mister, are not off the hook.
Uh, Carley looks up at you and says,
Con security isn't gonna help.
(28:15):
I tried asking them,
and they told me to get out of their face.
That's cockeyed.
After all, it's their job.
I know.
I tried telling them that my dad was missing,
and then she just starts crying uncontrollably.
Ozzy's gonna look over and see the,
whatever was the closest individual
that seems to be working,
(28:35):
he's gonna say,
Hey, you, security, now.
Damn.
Uh, all right.
Yeah, this, uh, I'm gonna say, yeah, this,
it's the same person who you asked for
directions to Felicia earlier.
It's just like, uh, okay, give me a second, sir.
Like, just getting fed up with your shit.
That's fair.
(28:56):
And, uh, they walk away.
And a few minutes later, uh, Ozzy,
the security guard who waved you in at, uh,
at the security line, uh, walks in and he says,
Sir, I understand that, uh, you requested security.
This child's missing their parent.
Doesn't know where to go.
They need help.
The security guard looks down at the child
(29:17):
and Carley seems very freaked out at the,
at seeing this, uh, very stern man in front of him.
Uh, the security guard looks back up at you, Ozzy,
Look, uh, we're kind of under staff security
wise right now.
We really don't have time to be dealing with this.
We got plenty of issues going on.
We got things happening backstage.
(29:38):
We got fights breaking out all over the convention.
We got a ton of stuff going wrong.
You two seem like responsible adults.
Could you just hold on to her for a while?
And you're going to find them.
(29:59):
Uh, give me presence and persuasion to try and tell
the security guard his place.
Let's see.
I gotta say presence and persuasion.
So, okay.
It's two for presence and then persuasion.
I have nothing there and I'm healthy.
So I draw another card, right?
Yep.
Okay.
Uh, I got a queen of hearts.
Ooh, the other two are failures.
(30:19):
All right.
So that is four successes.
Awesome.
So just going to do a quick counter flip.
The security guard also got a crit.
God damn it.
So the security guard just sort of looks at you,
Felicia, for a little bit.
It's just like, look, I'll tell you what.
I don't have anybody who can go find them right now,
but a few people just want to wait by the main stage.
(30:43):
We got a few.
We got plenty of people there gathering for an event.
Maybe you'll find them there.
Maybe you won't.
In the meantime, I'm going to try and wrap all the security events up around here
and we can get someone to try and help find your dad.
Does that sound good to you, Felicia?
As he mentions, there's an event happening at the main stage.
(31:05):
You are familiar with the con schedule
and there is something big happening on the main stage at the convention
in like just a few minutes.
It might be worthwhile if you're looking for people to head that direction.
Hmm, that's not a bad idea.
All right, we'll head there.
But I better expect a few more clams for doing your job.
(31:25):
Are you saying that to the security guard?
Yes, I am.
All right, the security guard does not respond to this.
She's simultaneously like acknowledging the fourth wall narrator
and talking to the cast.
Just like a real cartoon character.
The security guard, he says, all right,
if you head to the main stage, I'll try and find someone to help you out.
(31:47):
And he turns and walks away.
Uh, Carley has kind of been like hiding behind Ozzy,
like doing the thing where like a kid does
when they're like meeting someone for the,
like meeting their mom's friend
and they're just hiding behind their legs.
Uh, she's doing that behind you, Ozzy.
Right, bulls of no use.
Anyways, let's get going, shall we, darling?
All right, have fun.
(32:07):
Hold on a minute.
You're not leaving us alone.
You're coming with me.
You're coming with us.
He's gonna like look at her and look at the kid and just...
Yeah, Carley is looking back up at you with like,
please help me, eyes.
Fine.
The moment she has her dad back, I have things to do.
Oh, and pray tell, what makes you the big cheese?
(32:31):
You're not the only one with a job here to do.
The heck.
My job is sharing my presence with everyone.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be doing so many other things right now.
Good for you.
And he's gonna lean down to let the kid back on his back.
You do whatever makes you feel better about yourself.
And I'll do the same.
(32:51):
All right, uh, Carley hops back up on you, Ozzy.
All right, where are we going?
Well, if you're paying attention,
we're heading to the main convention hall.
There's a big event going on down there.
I know what he said.
I don't know where it is.
I don't come to these types of things.
Please.
Goodness gracious, you really are a fool.
All right, fine.
I'll take the lead, dick.
(33:13):
Felicia, if you'd like to try and find your way to the main stage,
that will be wit and investigation.
Let's see.
I have no wit and I have zero investigation.
Literally the worst possible person to trust to do this.
And you chose me.
Very confidently says, I'll take the lead.
(33:35):
I hope it's a king just so that way we can do it.
Yes, it was a king of diamonds.
Hey.
I just want to imagine she just pulls off the background
and suddenly we're there just writing the transition slide.
No, it's not going to be that easy.
Felicia, you do generally know the direction of the main stage,
(33:59):
but you figure that if you walk in that direction,
you'll probably find it eventually.
So the three of you start walking in that direction.
Carley on Ozzy's back is just on the way like pestering Felicia
with every single question about all of her cartoons.
You're like, so when you were filming the scene,
how did you manage to get the drop on old Bad Guy Bert so fast?
(34:25):
That one?
Well, everyone on set got me all dolled up just for the event.
I had to sneak up on the little set there
and then I had to leap down.
Oh, it was fun.
I nearly smashed into pieces on that one.
Carley does a little giggle.
That guy was a bad guy.
Yes, he was.
Ozzy, you are familiar with Felicia Fox as just somebody
(34:48):
who has been in this galaxy for a while,
but you don't strike me as the kind of character
who would have seen it by his own volition.
Makes sense.
You can imagine like a different type of person
getting all splatted up though,
and that one's a little more grisly.
Gosh, just that's kind of like the only thing
(35:09):
he's going to say in that moment.
Just like as bad memories start flooding back to you again.
Yep.
No corn dogs though.
No, this was the different case.
No corn dogs whatsoever.
The corn dogs are distinct.
Yeah, absolutely.
That is a very, oh, it hurts.
Ozzy, every time you pass by somebody
who was eating a corn dog,
you just get a little more like agitated by everything around you.
(35:34):
You don't want to be around an ostrich when they're agitated.
No, you do not.
Which is great because it sounds like Ozzy
is like in a permanent state of agitation.
Well, now he is.
This is like the worst place he could have probably gone to.
Yeah, for sure.
But I mean, like you needed the money.
Yes, he did.
The money that you presumed,
because I don't think that letter said anything
about any kind of cash reward.
(35:56):
No, it did not.
It just said, I need help.
And he's like, all right, well, it's something.
It gets you out of the house.
You're all walking along the convention,
you can see people are sort of funneling towards
the northern corner of the convention,
which you can only assume is the way towards the event.
But Ozzy, you're sort of looking around
as the three of you are walking
(36:16):
and saw there's a poster on the wall
that as you pass by it, Carley points out like,
hang on, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Look at this poster.
That's my dad.
One of you tears the poster off the wall.
You see on there a fully adult Stoneguard
who is dressed in like old timey wrestling attire.
(36:38):
That ragamuffin there?
Yeah, that's my dad.
He's the best wrestler in the whole galaxy.
Ozzy, you look further down and the poster says,
come meet the Juggernaut backstage
at Follywood Convention Center.
Well, now that we found the real McCoy,
let's go find him.
Ozzy, you.
Yep.
(36:58):
Ozzy, you know why the name the Juggernaut stands out to you.
It's not for a great reason.
You got a mom, kid?
Yeah, I do?
She's back home.
Good, good.
(37:19):
Oh, no, I'm really nervous for what Ozzy's gonna do.
All right, you're all following the crowd of people
also like looking around trying to find
any trace of this Juggernaut character.
You are also like showing the poster to people
(37:39):
as you walk by like, have you seen this person?
And while many of them recognize him as the Juggernaut,
they have not seen him all day.
Although one of them does tell you
that the Juggernaut was on the bill
to be at this convention as a special event,
but nobody's seen him on the floor.
Hmm, nobody's seen him.
No one sees him.
No one knows where he's at.
(38:01):
He's supposed to be on the bill.
Somebody wants him.
What was that?
Yeah, somebody wants him.
The kid wants him.
Oh, yes, that.
You're like, yeah, of course she does.
Kind of the point.
It's like my head just sort of like,
you know, extended all the way over the second he heard
(38:22):
he said that and he's like, oh, right.
Slowly stretches, goes, retracts.
It's where they normally have the wrestling stuff at.
Oh, oh, darling, please.
That's not my business.
Wrestling is too much of a man's game.
For a dame of my beauty,
I stick to the signings and the Q&As.
That's my thing.
(38:43):
You do know that they have women wrestlers as well, right?
And they can do that.
That's the bee's knees for them.
But for me, I stick to my thing.
I'm just saying it's not just for men.
I've seen plenty of women take a beating that I couldn't do.
And I'm saying it's not my thing.
After all, my thing is acting, singing, dancing,
(39:04):
exciting autographs, performing, making people laugh,
and getting into a good scramble.
And he raises an eyebrow and says, huh,
you know, maybe I think he would be a good wrestler.
They do those same types of things.
But that's neither here nor there.
(39:25):
All right.
You all see the crowd moving rapidly towards the big event stage
and you decide to keep heading that way.
And you'll find out what all the hubbub is about.
Next time on Live Laugh Loot.
(39:52):
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space Kings system
developed and published by Supertry Studios.
You can learn more about this game or buy it yourself
at supertry.itch.io/spacekings.
Follow us on Bluesky at livelaughloot.bsky.social
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast@gmail.com.
(40:13):
Our intro music is Out of Control by Chill Carrier
and our outro music is One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description to find out what other songs
played this episode or to check licensing information.
To learn more about this podcast or listen to more episodes,
check us out at livelaughloot.libsyn.com.
Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then don't watch the show. Okay, bye!
Hey there, welcome to episode 1 of Live Laugh Loot. Our first campaign will begin in just a
moment, but a quick heads up, we also released an episode 0 today where we talk about all
the stuff that we played through before we started recording this show. You don't need
(00:26):
to listen to that to understand the story of this current campaign at all,
but it will explain all the in-jokes and the references that we make.
Anyway, enough preamble, let's get to the show.
So I'll just do a quick little intro, I'll get us started, and then I'll
point to each of you to introduce yourselves and your character and all that.
How can you point to us when we're digital?
I'm going to point at my screen, I see a little GamingNavi icon,
(00:49):
I see a little Wolfkausaun icon, I'm going to tickle them both with my
fingies and you're going to feel it through the transitive property.
My senses aren't working today.
Alright, well, then I'll just tell you two, I guess, if that's what we gotta do.
(01:26):
Hey everybody, welcome to Live Laugh Loot, the only podcast where three people come
together and play tabletop role-playing games. Don't bother to look it up,
that's a true fact.
Only one for copywriting the idea.
The only one, and if any others come out after this, or before this,
this is a retroactive contract, we are going to sue them.
(01:49):
I am your host AyItsGreyJ, and I'm going to be playing your GM today
as we play through a system called Space Kings.
Which is a fun little improvisational role-playing game.
At least that's what it says on the title of the book,
although I put in the word fun, which should be on there,
because this is a fun, fun game.
Hopefully you're going to have fun listening to us bullshit about in it.
(02:11):
So as I said, I'm going to be the GM today.
Space Kings is a very rules-light and improv-heavy system.
It's very simple to play, all you need is a 54 deck of cards,
that is, you know, ace through king with the Jokers still in.
And that's all you need.
It's really simple, really easy to pick up and play.
(02:33):
And yeah, I'm just going to go around the virtual room here,
got two players with me today.
Let's introduce ourselves.
Wolf, let's start with you.
Tell us who you are and what you do and what your character is.
Hello, my name is Wolf K. Osan.
I do comedic video game reviews over on YouTube.
I like to look at a lot of retro games,
(02:53):
but also some newer games.
I try to just have fun with it.
I try to be, you know, insightful,
as well as just having fun with the video
and just saying whatever comes to mind.
I do a lot of improv within those videos.
But also, I write down the bullet points
and then say them out loud and then realize,
oh, I should fix that,
because those were just words that made no sense.
(03:16):
And speaking of no sense,
the character that I'm playing,
their name is Ozzy the Ostrich.
Pretty much think an L.A. Noire type detective,
but Ostrich, straight up Ostrich,
there's no human qualities to him outside of,
well, he's a detective.
Oh, and he's from Earth as well.
(03:37):
So he's got no arms, just like.
No, he's just an ostrich.
Yeah, just straight up an ostrich from the African continent.
Yes, also he has a hat.
Yes, it's a little detective hat.
Yes.
Yeah.
Everything else, straight up ostrich.
Navi, please introduce yourself
and what you do and who your character is.
(03:58):
Hello, everyone.
I am Navi.
I used to do comedic reviews on YouTube,
like Sean did,
and I took a break to become a VTuber.
The next Twilight Princess, Navi.
My character is the...
Hold on, let me get my voice filter.
The fantastic Felicia Fox,
the greatest cartoon character created
for the last 2000 years.
(04:19):
And she's a...
Basically, she's an actress
permanently owned by Space Disney,
who just does whatever she wants.
Yeah, we've been...
The three of us have been playing Space Kings
for a little while now,
and we figured, hey, let's do it,
but we talk into microphones that record them.
Because again, no one has done this before.
(04:39):
So like I said, I'm going to be playing GM,
so I've got a little bit of an intro paragraph
if we are all ready to get into this campaign.
Oh, absolutely.
I'm ready to go.
Oh, right.
Cue the music.
It is the middle of the 228th Galactic Millennium,
Earth year 6591.
(05:01):
Although humans have spread across the universe,
like the virus that they are,
many have also remained behind in the Solar System
as their brothers and sisters explored the stars.
Sol is much like it is now.
The Earth is covered in trash,
and life isn't all that great.
But thanks to advances in space-faring technology
and knowledge shared from species
from other star systems,
(05:22):
humanity has now colonized several other planets,
moons, and interstellar bodies,
and left trash there as well.
One such place is Titan,
Saturn's largest moon.
It was built up as a safe haven for the rich and famous
to get away from the riff-raff on other developing worlds,
with the intent on it becoming humanity's second capital homeworld.
That never happened,
(05:43):
as it was later passed over
in favor of the government centers on Ganymede.
But Titan still maintains the illusion of glitz and glamour,
especially in the city known as Follywood.
Follywood was humanity's attempt to create a second haven
for artists, writers, actors, and directors.
After the streets of Hollywood on Earth ran aground with poverty,
(06:03):
this is a place where you'll see many celebrities,
famous across the galaxy,
wandering the streets,
usually escorted with armed personnel
or some protection of their own.
Rich in fake plastic palm trees
and decadent tax-wasting fountains,
it is a testament to humanity's continued pursuit of excess.
Every 100 years,
beings from across the galaxy
(06:23):
gather at the Follywood Convention Center
for the Entertain-a-Thon,
the largest gathering for galactic citizens
to meet their favorite movie stars,
musicians, TV heartthrobs,
cartoon characters, streamers, and mascots.
It's got everything you could ever want.
Over-stuffed vendor halls,
over-priced mediocre food,
over-worked artists desperate for cash,
(06:44):
over-zealous fans,
many of which are dressed in cosplay
of various degrees of quality,
overwhelming nerd smell,
and a ball pit.
It is here where we open.
Not the ball pit.
I've seen this before.
It is here where we open,
just outside the convention.
All right, we are zooming outside
(07:06):
of the convention hall itself
in the security section
to get into the building.
We open on an ostrich in a detective hat
looking up at the building.
Ozzy, what's going through your mind right now
as you're standing outside the convention center?
Hmm.
Conventions, they never change.
(07:26):
As he puts out a cigarette,
takes a deep breath,
and he walks in.
Before you walk into the convention,
you are, you stand in front of
a security guard who is looking at you.
This is a human male with dark sunglasses,
a big black t-shirt that says "security"
(07:47):
and dark jeans,
who looks up at you and says,
I need to see your badge, sir.
Ozzy, you do not have a badge
for this convention.
All you have on you is instructions
that were given to you
left on your doorstep
by someone who did not sign their name
that they needed to meet you
inside the convention halls.
I'm here on business, kid.
(08:07):
And he's going to move his beak
and, you know, kind of do a little weird
like reach behind his feathers
around his, I guess, arm flap?
I don't know what to call that.
His wings.
That's it.
So he's going to go in there
and he's going to pull out
his detective badge and say,
this is the best I got.
Take it or leave it.
(08:29):
That's going to be presence
and persuasion to try
and convince him to let you in.
All right.
So my persuasion is two
and presence is two.
So that is four.
And I'm healthy.
So that's five, one, two, three.
Great. Four, five.
I got no successes whatsoever.
(08:49):
Damn.
Excellent.
So just to explain the Space Kings rules,
every time you make a flip,
you're flipping down cards.
Face cards and ace cards are successes.
Everything else is a failure.
And the Jokers are a twist
gets to be put into the narrative by me.
So that's not going to work.
So Wolfkaosan flipped no faces or aces.
(09:11):
So that is no successes,
which means without even looking
at your detective's badge,
the security guard says,
I can't let you in
without a pass to the convention, sir.
And he puts the badge away
and starts mumbling.
All right.
How much is a badge?
You needed to buy your badge
(09:31):
before the convention.
We have sold out of them, sir.
And he like looks behind him
and tries to see if he could find
possibly a scalper around.
Let me do a quick
world building flip for scalper.
You see somebody is leaning up
against a fake plastic palm tree
outside the convention.
You're not sure why,
(09:51):
but you're getting a shifty vibe
off of him.
That might be a scalper.
It might be.
Ozzy is going to go over to them
and say, you got any tickets?
This guy looks up at you and says,
that depends on what you can offer me, sir.
What do you want?
(10:12):
I will give you a badge
to get in the convention for free,
but you've got to do something for me.
Then that's not free, is it?
I mean, I will give it to you
for no money,
which is also known as free.
What do you want?
There's someone inside the convention
that needs to go permanently,
(10:34):
if you know what I mean.
I'm just confused.
This guy talking to a possible cop
openly discussing murder with them.
We don't know what kind of detective Ozzy is.
All right.
Name.
See, he just accepted.
(10:54):
That helps.
That tells us a lot about what kind of cop he is.
What's your name?
My name's Ronnie.
Don't care about that.
Who am I looking for?
Oh, I apologize.
You're looking for a man
who goes by the name The Juggernaut.
That bitch.
Understood.
(11:15):
So we have a deal then, Mr...?
Ozzy.
Ozzy, it's good to do business with you.
He hands you a slightly chipped badge
that says Entertain-a-Thon all day pass.
Thank you.
Which you may add to your non-useful items.
Ozzy's gonna put a cigarette in his mouth
(11:37):
and just say,
Got a light?
Let's do a quick flip for light.
He does not have a light.
Sorry, I don't smoke.
You'd be a lot cooler if you did.
And he turns around and walks off.
All right, so you're gonna walk back up to the security guard?
Yep.
Yeah.
All right, he's looking at you
and you can't see his eyes
because again, dark sunglasses.
But his posture just indicates
(11:57):
that he is staring daggers at you.
Just gonna pull out the badge.
We good now?
Uh, one second to do a flip for this guy.
All right, so he narrows his eyes on your badge.
He should have probably recognized that
you just right in front of him
bought this badge from a scalper.
But he apparently isn't attentive enough.
(12:18):
So he just waves you in like,
Come on in, sir.
Ozzy walks in.
You walk into the entrance.
This is a really modern convention center.
There's just a bunch of stalls out in front
of people selling information stuff and maps.
And there's not too many people here right now
because all the activity would be on the floor.
(12:39):
But you see a few people walking around.
He just gives no mind
and goes back into his pocket
to take out the letter he got
to kind of see where he should go next
to meet this individual.
All right, you pull out a letter
which was written to you
on a ragged brown paper envelope.
You look at it again and it says,
I need your help.
(13:00):
Meet me at the Follywood Convention Center
in the food hall
next to the corn dog station.
He sighs, puts it away
and thinks to himself,
It's always corn dogs.
Does Ozzy have a history with corn dogs?
He does now.
Excellent.
Well, we'll incorporate that somehow.
He makes his way through the convention.
(13:22):
Not really paying any mind to anyone around him.
He just kind of like,
deadpan sayers ahead.
Just makes a beeline for it.
Doesn't really notice.
Well, I wouldn't say notice
but doesn't really care
to look at any of the vendors
or panels that may be going on.
Or even a ball pit.
Just going straight for the corn dogs
in the food hall.
You walk into the convention center.
(13:43):
It is packed here.
Just imagine like,
the busiest convention you've ever been to
times one and a half
and also it's space.
Ozzy, you know that
ostriches are relatively new
to the rest of the galaxy.
People are familiar with you as a concept
but there are plenty of species
(14:04):
who have never seen anything like you before.
So as you walk through the convention halls
you do get plenty of dirty looks.
You get people who are walking
against your direction
who as soon as they notice you
just sort of like,
stumble back a bit
and like really try to get out of your way.
And I assume you probably like
(14:24):
pay no notice of that
or if you do,
you don't bring it up.
Because I'm sure this happens to you
all the time where people are like,
holy fuck,
why is there a giant dinosaur walking around?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's just like,
I'm just going to keep walking.
Excellent.
And just go.
Well, you make your way into the food hall.
I'm going to need you to do a
(14:44):
intelligence and spacewise
to figure out where the meeting place is.
All right.
So it'll be seven cards.
Let's go.
Great.
One, two, three, four.
Are you kidding me?
Five, six, seven.
I have one success and a Joker.
(15:06):
Excellent.
Geez.
Well, you do manage to find the corn dog stall.
You pass by and you just get a whiff of fried corn batter
and it brings back memories from a previous case
and they're not very good memories.
The Corn Dog Snatcher.
The one that got away.
(15:26):
You can hear in your mind's ear
just the far off laughter of like a
cheesy cartoon villain laugh
as you see an image of a man in a trench coat
holding up like a bunch of corn dogs in his hands
laughing like ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Am I like seeing this like kind of hallucinating it
(15:47):
or just like imagining it in my head?
No, this is all in your head.
Okay.
Yeah, you know this is just a bad memory
but it is affecting you pretty hard.
Yeah, he has like a scowl on his face now like,
uh, he's not looking very happy.
Nope.
You take a quick look around
and nobody has called your attention yet
(16:08):
so it looks like your contact is not here at the moment.
He's going to lean up against the wall
and literally he's going to say whoever's closest to him,
got a light.
I think probably who's the closest one to you
is the corn dog vendor.
So he'll be like, man, I don't got a light
but I'd be willing to give you a corn dog.
(16:28):
He doesn't even like respond to it.
He's just,
What?
No, you don't want a, you don't want a corn dog?
No money.
They're hot and fresh
and made with the finest meats and ingredients.
Does anyone else have a light?
You just say out loud to the convention.
Yeah.
Do a quick flip.
Dude, you're going to get thrown out.
Someone, uh, just some like random human passes by
(16:51):
is like, oh yeah, let me, uh, get that for you.
Takes out a lighter, uh, and lights your cigarette.
And you just,
got to drown out that corn dog smell somehow.
You lean up against the wall, smoking a cigarette
and, uh, you're just thinking back to all your previous work,
(17:12):
uh, the Corn Dog Snatcher in particular,
because this to try as you might to get rid of that smell,
it is right next to you.
Yep.
And, uh, you know, it's just,
it was just bad vibes in that whole case, man.
It's a bad time.
It's a bad time from beginning to end.
You think so much about this that, uh,
when you have a moment's reprieve away from your horrible
(17:32):
corn dog related, uh, misadventures,
you notice that, uh, you've been standing here for quite a while
and, uh, nobody has come up to you to say,
hey, I'm, are you my, are you the detective?
You've been standing here for what seems like hours.
God, I'm giving it five more minutes.
You're not even in the vendor's hall.
(17:54):
People would look at that and they'd know something was wrong.
Ozzy, if you want to do a wit and investigation check
to see if you can figure out anything,
like any, any trace of, of someone who was here
and maybe you missed them.
So you said wit and investigation?
Yep.
There'll be eight cards.
Yay.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
(18:20):
Uh, I have three successes and one is the Queen of Hearts.
Excellent.
In Space Kings, the Queen of Heart is a crit.
And Ozzy, your crit is two, which means that Queen of Hearts
counts for two cards or two successes rather,
which means you would have gotten four successes on that flip.
Ozzy, you can, uh, your keen detective eye
(18:42):
and, uh, your powerful ostrich nose, you know, whatever, uh,
tells you that somebody was standing around here
and waiting for a while, but, uh,
they're not here now.
You can see through the crowd of people walking around
that, uh, there do appear to be some oddly distinct footprints
on the floor, which lead away from your current position.
(19:04):
And you also see as you're looking around,
there's a little child lying on, not lying on the ground.
There's a little child sitting on the ground nearby,
and she looks like she's crying.
What's up, kid?
You all right?
As you walk closer to this kid to talk to her,
you notice that she is a Stoneguard,
one of the many races on this beautiful galaxy.
(19:27):
A Stoneguard is, you know, just a rock monster type race.
This kid looks very young for a rock monster.
In human years, probably about 102.
For a Stoneguard, that would be,
that would put them about like six years old,
which is very young.
She looks up at you and you can see stony tears
(19:48):
welling up in her eyes.
She isn't saying anything,
and you can tell that she is frightened and afraid.
Okay.
All right, hop on.
He's going to like lean down for her to get on to him.
That's going to be charm and empathy
to be, you know, be a nice stranger to this kid.
(20:11):
Great. I have only two.
Oh, cool.
Uh, I have one success out of the two cards I drew.
All right.
Uh, yeah, I think that's going to be enough for like the child
to like very slowly and cautiously reach up her hand
and kind of, were you like outstretching your wing
or what were you, what were you doing exactly?
I'm just kind of like leaning down,
(20:32):
like my head bowing for her to like get on
and kind of just like, you know, ride.
Basically like how like Donkey Kong
would get onto the ostrich.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
She climbs on your back and with tears still flowing in her eyes,
she's like, thanks, mister.
Don't mention it.
All right, I take it,
you don't have any parents around or nothing?
My dad is missing.
(20:53):
I lost him in this big place.
All right.
Well, he'll probably see a big ostrich
carrying around a child.
So I know someone who can maybe help find him,
but I don't know where she is.
Who might that be?
Her name's Felicia Fox.
She's my favorite cartoon character
and she's at this convention,
but I don't know where she is.
(21:14):
And she starts bawling more stony tears.
All right, come on.
And he's just gonna like kind of like giddy-up
and start walking.
All right, she got like a panel or something.
I don't know.
I think maybe she was doing signatures.
She's gonna like look around
and see if we can like find like anyone
(21:35):
who looks like they're working.
And yeah, like nearby you do see someone
who's dressed up in an entertainment,
like has an Entertain-a-Thon t-shirt
who's sort of walking around.
So you might be able to get their attention.
Hey, you.
They turn around and they're like,
yes, how can I help you?
Felicia Fox, where?
(21:57):
Oh, okay.
I got a kid crying on my back.
I was gonna say,
with the level of determination you said that,
I thought they were gonna turn him
into some sort of super fan.
Yeah, or like a stalker-killer.
Gosh.
The person looks at you
and looks at the crying child on your back
and she's like, is she okay?
(22:17):
Is she lost?
Yeah, and she said
Fifi would be able to help her or whatever.
Well, Felicia Fox is doing autographs right now,
which is at the other side
of the convention hall.
If you want to head straight there,
I think her time there is almost up.
All right.
And he's gonna turn around,
(22:38):
go into his wing pocket,
pull out another cigarette and say,
I'll see you.
Sir, there's no smoking in here.
Is it on fire?
Did you not light that cigarette?
No, he just put it in his mouth.
All right, that'll be,
I think that's gotta be like presence
and spacewise to try and like
(22:58):
bluff this person into thinking
that you're not breaking a rule.
All right, so that's gonna be five cards.
You just gotta convince them
that's part of your cosplay.
Two successes.
All right, the person is probably like
looking at you like,
okay, you can go on.
But it's sort of, you get the tone of like,
yeah, I don't get paid enough
to deal with a giant ostrich talking to me.
(23:19):
Yeah, so he's gonna start walking.
And as he does that,
he's gonna be like,
hey kid, I got a question.
Yeah?
You like fire?
That's not a good way to start.
Uh, I don't know.
It's kind of cool.
He's gonna hand her a match and say,
all right, you see that?
You just swipe it against your fist.
(23:41):
Watch what cool thing happens.
Okay.
I'll do a flip for this girl
to see if she can light a match
against her stone skin.
Wow, she got two successes.
She takes the match
and surprisingly expertly for a child,
swishes it in one go and it lights up.
And she is sort of looking at it like,
(24:02):
oh wow, I didn't know it would do that.
He likes a cigarette.
I'm glad the cards made it
that that was not like a weird moment.
Yeah.
So he likes a cigarette and just like,
remember kid,
sometimes people gonna use you
for their own benefit,
but they teach you something along the way.
(24:24):
Sorry.
Are you smoking in front of a child?
Yeah.
And giving out horrible advice?
Yeah.
So he says that he's walking
through the crowd, by the way.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Everyone is still like,
sort of like Andre the Giant style,
like parting around you,
giving you plenty of space.
Man, this character is so,
so much more different than my last one.
(24:46):
I just realized.
Yes, like a complete 180.
I didn't even mean for that to happen.
Just like, yeah, no, he's,
he's bitter towards the world.
So this stone child almost instinctively
puts the match out
before it starts to burn her fingertips.
She got that many successes.
She's like, that was cool, mister.
What's your name, by the way?
(25:08):
Ozzy.
Hi, Ozzy.
My name's Carley.
Oh, nice to meet you.
So where's your deadbeat dad at?
I don't know.
He, I don't know.
He, he, he left me behind
to do some business work
and he left me to get some cotton candy
and when I came back, he was gone.
(25:28):
What's your dad's name?
His name's Douglas.
Okay.
All right.
You've been walking through
the convention halls for a while
and at the end,
at the end of the convention hall,
you've now reached.
You see a long table with banners
featuring a bunch of celebrity names.
Most of them are pretty empty right now.
It's just like some B-listers
but there is one table who is,
(25:49):
which is very, very popular.
Felicia Fox,
you have been signing autographs
for the past 45 minutes.
How do you feel right now?
Well, darling, I must say,
I'm still feeling quite energized
and ready to go.
Excellent.
You are amazed
at the crowd of people who has turned out.
You are used to all this attention
(26:11):
and you relish in it
but it even, like,
this is a record turnout
compared to last year for you
or last century, I should say.
Felicia, you are finished signing
an autograph for a little boy
handed off to him
when all of a sudden
you see walking in your direction
an ostrich with a Stoneguard child
(26:32):
on top of him.
That's not something you see every day.
You, uh, you the fox lady?
Fox lady, please, darling,
my name is Felicia,
the fantastic Felicia Fox.
Is this the one?
He, like, looks back at the kid.
Carley is looking up at Felicia
(26:52):
just in awe, like, kind of stammering.
Like, I, I, I...
Ah, and who's this cookie?
My name's Carley.
Well, Carley, it's a pleasure to meet you.
Here, have an autograph
from your friend, Felicia Fox.
Wait, what do you mean, meet?
I thought you said that
she was gonna take you to your dad.
(27:13):
I'm what?
I'm sorry.
I'm too busy here with my session.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And he, like, leans down to let her off.
She's been looking for you.
She lost her dad.
She said you could help.
Well, that is a job-
I'm afraid that is a job for the security.
This is about my pay grade.
I'm being paid to sit here
(27:34):
and sign autographs and talk to fans.
I do have a panel and Q&A later,
and that is it.
He's going to, uh, he's gonna, uh,
pull out a cigarette and, like,
spit off to the side.
You're gonna sit here and tell me
that a kid is looking for you.
You're just gonna push her to the side?
Are you the only one she's looking for?
You gesture towards Carley as you're doing this,
(27:54):
and Felicia, you see that Carley
is just looking at the ground moping.
Almost like, wow, I get to meet my hero,
but I'm starting to get a little disappointed.
Come on, darling.
I'll take you to, I'll take you to the con security.
But you, mister, are not off the hook.
Uh, Carley looks up at you and says,
Con security isn't gonna help.
(28:15):
I tried asking them,
and they told me to get out of their face.
That's cockeyed.
After all, it's their job.
I know.
I tried telling them that my dad was missing,
and then she just starts crying uncontrollably.
Ozzy's gonna look over and see the,
whatever was the closest individual
that seems to be working,
(28:35):
he's gonna say,
Hey, you, security, now.
Damn.
Uh, all right.
Yeah, this, uh, I'm gonna say, yeah, this,
it's the same person who you asked for
directions to Felicia earlier.
It's just like, uh, okay, give me a second, sir.
Like, just getting fed up with your shit.
That's fair.
(28:56):
And, uh, they walk away.
And a few minutes later, uh, Ozzy,
the security guard who waved you in at, uh,
at the security line, uh, walks in and he says,
Sir, I understand that, uh, you requested security.
This child's missing their parent.
Doesn't know where to go.
They need help.
The security guard looks down at the child
(29:17):
and Carley seems very freaked out at the,
at seeing this, uh, very stern man in front of him.
Uh, the security guard looks back up at you, Ozzy,
Look, uh, we're kind of under staff security
wise right now.
We really don't have time to be dealing with this.
We got plenty of issues going on.
We got things happening backstage.
(29:38):
We got fights breaking out all over the convention.
We got a ton of stuff going wrong.
You two seem like responsible adults.
Could you just hold on to her for a while?
And you're going to find them.
(29:59):
Uh, give me presence and persuasion to try and tell
the security guard his place.
Let's see.
I gotta say presence and persuasion.
So, okay.
It's two for presence and then persuasion.
I have nothing there and I'm healthy.
So I draw another card, right?
Yep.
Okay.
Uh, I got a queen of hearts.
Ooh, the other two are failures.
(30:19):
All right.
So that is four successes.
Awesome.
So just going to do a quick counter flip.
The security guard also got a crit.
God damn it.
So the security guard just sort of looks at you,
Felicia, for a little bit.
It's just like, look, I'll tell you what.
I don't have anybody who can go find them right now,
but a few people just want to wait by the main stage.
(30:43):
We got a few.
We got plenty of people there gathering for an event.
Maybe you'll find them there.
Maybe you won't.
In the meantime, I'm going to try and wrap all the security events up around here
and we can get someone to try and help find your dad.
Does that sound good to you, Felicia?
As he mentions, there's an event happening at the main stage.
(31:05):
You are familiar with the con schedule
and there is something big happening on the main stage at the convention
in like just a few minutes.
It might be worthwhile if you're looking for people to head that direction.
Hmm, that's not a bad idea.
All right, we'll head there.
But I better expect a few more clams for doing your job.
(31:25):
Are you saying that to the security guard?
Yes, I am.
All right, the security guard does not respond to this.
She's simultaneously like acknowledging the fourth wall narrator
and talking to the cast.
Just like a real cartoon character.
The security guard, he says, all right,
if you head to the main stage, I'll try and find someone to help you out.
(31:47):
And he turns and walks away.
Uh, Carley has kind of been like hiding behind Ozzy,
like doing the thing where like a kid does
when they're like meeting someone for the,
like meeting their mom's friend
and they're just hiding behind their legs.
Uh, she's doing that behind you, Ozzy.
Right, bulls of no use.
Anyways, let's get going, shall we, darling?
All right, have fun.
(32:07):
Hold on a minute.
You're not leaving us alone.
You're coming with me.
You're coming with us.
He's gonna like look at her and look at the kid and just...
Yeah, Carley is looking back up at you with like,
please help me, eyes.
Fine.
The moment she has her dad back, I have things to do.
Oh, and pray tell, what makes you the big cheese?
(32:31):
You're not the only one with a job here to do.
The heck.
My job is sharing my presence with everyone.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be doing so many other things right now.
Good for you.
And he's gonna lean down to let the kid back on his back.
You do whatever makes you feel better about yourself.
And I'll do the same.
(32:51):
All right, uh, Carley hops back up on you, Ozzy.
All right, where are we going?
Well, if you're paying attention,
we're heading to the main convention hall.
There's a big event going on down there.
I know what he said.
I don't know where it is.
I don't come to these types of things.
Please.
Goodness gracious, you really are a fool.
All right, fine.
I'll take the lead, dick.
(33:13):
Felicia, if you'd like to try and find your way to the main stage,
that will be wit and investigation.
Let's see.
I have no wit and I have zero investigation.
Literally the worst possible person to trust to do this.
And you chose me.
Very confidently says, I'll take the lead.
(33:35):
I hope it's a king just so that way we can do it.
Yes, it was a king of diamonds.
Hey.
I just want to imagine she just pulls off the background
and suddenly we're there just writing the transition slide.
No, it's not going to be that easy.
Felicia, you do generally know the direction of the main stage,
(33:59):
but you figure that if you walk in that direction,
you'll probably find it eventually.
So the three of you start walking in that direction.
Carley on Ozzy's back is just on the way like pestering Felicia
with every single question about all of her cartoons.
You're like, so when you were filming the scene,
how did you manage to get the drop on old Bad Guy Bert so fast?
(34:25):
That one?
Well, everyone on set got me all dolled up just for the event.
I had to sneak up on the little set there
and then I had to leap down.
Oh, it was fun.
I nearly smashed into pieces on that one.
Carley does a little giggle.
That guy was a bad guy.
Yes, he was.
Ozzy, you are familiar with Felicia Fox as just somebody
(34:48):
who has been in this galaxy for a while,
but you don't strike me as the kind of character
who would have seen it by his own volition.
Makes sense.
You can imagine like a different type of person
getting all splatted up though,
and that one's a little more grisly.
Gosh, just that's kind of like the only thing
(35:09):
he's going to say in that moment.
Just like as bad memories start flooding back to you again.
Yep.
No corn dogs though.
No, this was the different case.
No corn dogs whatsoever.
The corn dogs are distinct.
Yeah, absolutely.
That is a very, oh, it hurts.
Ozzy, every time you pass by somebody
who was eating a corn dog,
you just get a little more like agitated by everything around you.
(35:34):
You don't want to be around an ostrich when they're agitated.
No, you do not.
Which is great because it sounds like Ozzy
is like in a permanent state of agitation.
Well, now he is.
This is like the worst place he could have probably gone to.
Yeah, for sure.
But I mean, like you needed the money.
Yes, he did.
The money that you presumed,
because I don't think that letter said anything
about any kind of cash reward.
(35:56):
No, it did not.
It just said, I need help.
And he's like, all right, well, it's something.
It gets you out of the house.
You're all walking along the convention,
you can see people are sort of funneling towards
the northern corner of the convention,
which you can only assume is the way towards the event.
But Ozzy, you're sort of looking around
as the three of you are walking
(36:16):
and saw there's a poster on the wall
that as you pass by it, Carley points out like,
hang on, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Look at this poster.
That's my dad.
One of you tears the poster off the wall.
You see on there a fully adult Stoneguard
who is dressed in like old timey wrestling attire.
(36:38):
That ragamuffin there?
Yeah, that's my dad.
He's the best wrestler in the whole galaxy.
Ozzy, you look further down and the poster says,
come meet the Juggernaut backstage
at Follywood Convention Center.
Well, now that we found the real McCoy,
let's go find him.
Ozzy, you.
Yep.
(36:58):
Ozzy, you know why the name the Juggernaut stands out to you.
It's not for a great reason.
You got a mom, kid?
Yeah, I do?
She's back home.
Good, good.
(37:19):
Oh, no, I'm really nervous for what Ozzy's gonna do.
All right, you're all following the crowd of people
also like looking around trying to find
any trace of this Juggernaut character.
You are also like showing the poster to people
(37:39):
as you walk by like, have you seen this person?
And while many of them recognize him as the Juggernaut,
they have not seen him all day.
Although one of them does tell you
that the Juggernaut was on the bill
to be at this convention as a special event,
but nobody's seen him on the floor.
Hmm, nobody's seen him.
No one sees him.
No one knows where he's at.
(38:01):
He's supposed to be on the bill.
Somebody wants him.
What was that?
Yeah, somebody wants him.
The kid wants him.
Oh, yes, that.
You're like, yeah, of course she does.
Kind of the point.
It's like my head just sort of like,
you know, extended all the way over the second he heard
(38:22):
he said that and he's like, oh, right.
Slowly stretches, goes, retracts.
It's where they normally have the wrestling stuff at.
Oh, oh, darling, please.
That's not my business.
Wrestling is too much of a man's game.
For a dame of my beauty,
I stick to the signings and the Q&As.
That's my thing.
(38:43):
You do know that they have women wrestlers as well, right?
And they can do that.
That's the bee's knees for them.
But for me, I stick to my thing.
I'm just saying it's not just for men.
I've seen plenty of women take a beating that I couldn't do.
And I'm saying it's not my thing.
After all, my thing is acting, singing, dancing,
(39:04):
exciting autographs, performing, making people laugh,
and getting into a good scramble.
And he raises an eyebrow and says, huh,
you know, maybe I think he would be a good wrestler.
They do those same types of things.
But that's neither here nor there.
(39:25):
All right.
You all see the crowd moving rapidly towards the big event stage
and you decide to keep heading that way.
And you'll find out what all the hubbub is about.
Next time on Live Laugh Loot.
(39:52):
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space Kings system
developed and published by Supertry Studios.
You can learn more about this game or buy it yourself
at supertry.itch.io/spacekings.
Follow us on Bluesky at livelaughloot.bsky.social
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast@gmail.com.
(40:13):
Our intro music is Out of Control by Chill Carrier
and our outro music is One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description to find out what other songs
played this episode or to check licensing information.
To learn more about this podcast or listen to more episodes,
check us out at livelaughloot.libsyn.com.
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