April 10, 2025 • 47 mins
To get backstage and find the Juggernaut, Felicia and Ozzy annoy security and begrudgingly participate in a cosplay contest. It doesn't go well.
Currently Playing: Space Kings
LIVE LAUGH LOOT IS:
AyItsGreyJ (he/him) as GM
GamingNavi (she/they) as Felicia Fox
Wolfkaosaun (he/him) as Ozzy
MUSIC THIS EPISODE:
Marantz PMD221 Stereo Summing Test by HOME
Out of Control by Chill Carrier (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
Ordinary Anomalies by Chill Carrier (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug, and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then, uh, don't watch the show.
Okay, bye!
You said sink, I said washing machine.
But, but they're not in the sink. Well actually no, the sink's nevermind, I'm wrong. I'm very wrong.
A sink technically is a washing machine in that it is a machine that helps you wash.
Is it a machine or is it just a hose?
(00:26):
Uh, some sinks are probably...
It's a hose that serves a mechanized purpose, so therefore it's a machine.
Alright, I'm gonna refute that. It is not a hose, it is a pipe.
It becomes a hose if you have the detachable nozzle that, you know,
you can just sort of pull off and use like a hose.
I guess so, but our sink doesn't have that.
(00:46):
Well yours doesn't, mine does, so I can qualify mine as a ho- as a mechanized hose.
You good?
Always.
I'm good.
You went silent after that.
I'm angry that you have a better sink than I do.
Previously on Live Laugh Loot.
Everyone's gathered to the Entertain-a-Thon on the moon Titan,
(01:06):
including Ozzy the ostrich detective summoned here via an unsigned letter.
Unable to obtain a badge, he instead took a deal from a scalper to find and kill the
Juggernaut, a wrestler famous across the galaxy, in exchange for access to the con.
Inside, Ozzy met a young lost girl named Carley, and he took her to meet her idol,
the cartoon star Felicia Fox.
(01:26):
After chastising con security for not doing their job,
the trio set off to look for Carley's dad, but Ozzy soon learned a horrible truth.
Carley's dad is the Juggernaut.
We'll see whether our party gets any closer to finding this mysterious wrestler
as we head back into the convention hall where a big event is about to take place.
(02:05):
Okay, so you're walking down the convention hall, just sort of following the crowd.
You're asking people if they've seen the Juggernaut,
showing them the poster that you found as well.
Hey, and he's just gonna whoever's next to him.
Where's the locker rooms?
He, you just sort of like say this at like someone dressed in like,
of really like put together the last minute cosplay of some robot you don't even recognize.
(02:29):
I just- somebody like, what? Locker rooms? What are you talking about?
Backstage where the wrestlers are.
I don't know anything about that.
I just- he just starts walking away immediately.
Okay, the guy looks back to you really confused and then just sort of like,
that was weird, walks away out of this game forever.
(02:52):
Ozzy's just trying to find somebody who like looks like they were here now.
You're all just, you're all still following the crowd who's generally marching in the
direction of the main stage and lo and behold, after a while you come across the main stage,
which currently looks empty, but you can hear loud music blaring.
Like all the music that's in the convention hall is coming from speakers right about here.
(03:15):
And people, plenty of people are lining up, many of them dressed to the nines in
cosplays of various kinds.
Some are just there to like, some just in normal street clothes,
but there's tons of people here.
If you'd like to try and find the Juggernaut in this crowd, that will have to be a,
I think that'll be Wit and Investigation again.
Yep, that's what I'm gonna do.
(03:36):
Better than me.
So Wit, Investigation, so it'll be eight, wait, wait, is it eight?
Yeah, it's eight.
Should be, yeah.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, one success out of all eight chords.
Cool.
(03:57):
Ozzy, you crane your neck upwards a bit to try and get a better vantage point above people.
You don't see the Juggernaut anywhere, but you can see that the crowd is getting
very excited for something that's about to happen on the main stage.
As you are looking around, one of the convention staff approaches you and says,
Hey, you three, are you here for the cosplay contest?
(04:19):
No.
Are you sure?
The winners get backstage all day passes.
She's already backstage, and he points to Felicia Fox.
She's already a guest here.
I'm just trying to find the Juggernaut.
Felicia, your guest pass actually does not let you go backstage,
which you have found very odd and curious.
(04:40):
Excuse me?
They haven't given me, one of your star guests, a backstage pass.
I will not stand for this.
You there, do I look like some dumb dora?
I demand full respect now.
This lady who has not broken her smile at all, even as you get more aggressive, is like,
Well, I wouldn't know how to solve that issue, but if you would like to go backstage,
(05:03):
you can if you win this cosplay contest.
Why, I oughta...
You oughta sign up for the cosplay contest.
That's what you oughta do.
There is no cosplay, that is beneath me.
I am an actress and I demand backstage.
Give me charm and persuasion to try and wrestle something out of this lady.
(05:24):
So that's charm.
So I do have three points of charm.
That's three cards by default.
One card for being healthy.
And then do I have any persuasion?
I do not.
So it's just these four cards.
Yeah.
Okay.
I got a jack and a king.
The other two are failures.
Excellent.
Quick count.
Are we just jac-king around or are we going to make some progress?
Gosh, that's a sentence.
(05:45):
Damn.
I'm sorry.
I was really proud of that one.
Improv's not my thing.
So I'm just.
It was improv.
Yeah, it's all improv, baby.
You argue to this lady that you should be let backstage
because you are Felicia Fox, the best damn actress in the entire universe.
And this lady is sort of looking at you like,
(06:05):
Well, I don't have the authority to just let you back there.
I'm just here to run the cosplay contest.
But if you'd like to get backstage,
maybe you could take it up with our security guard.
And she points you towards the side of the stage
where you see once again,
that security guard would let you in, Ozzy,
who was just standing around guarding the door to the backstage.
(06:29):
Go have fun.
I'll talk to Mr. Rube.
You stay here and watch over her.
I was already going to do that.
So Felicia, you're going to walk up to the security guard?
Yes, I am.
Excellent.
You walk over and you're like,
you're just like cheeks puffed out, like, huffy walking up to her,
or to him, sorry, walking up to him.
(06:49):
He looks in your direction and like as she sees you approaching
and you just get the impression that he's like,
Oh, this lady again.
This is the first time I've met him.
No, no, no.
This was the security guard who said,
Hey, you should go to the main stage.
I'm going to try and find someone to help find the kid's child,
the kid's daughter, the kid's dad,
(07:10):
which, you know, he's standing in front of this door,
just guarding it doesn't seem like he's doing that at all.
Hello, once again, I've come to,
I've come with some updates given our previous encounter.
The security guard looks at you and does not say a word.
Her dad's the Juggernaut.
We need to get backstage.
It's a sheet.
We can reunite father and daughter.
(07:31):
Can we do that?
Give me presence persuasion now to try and, well, persuade him.
Three cards.
Oh, a king and queen.
Hey.
So it's two successes again.
Yeah, this guy looks at you and just gives a big heavy sigh like,
I can't let you backstage, ma'am.
It's employees only.
(07:52):
Yeah, I guess that makes sense, actually.
Look, can you at least go back there
and please tell Mr. Juggernaut
that his daughter's out here waiting for him?
We got plenty of security guards back there, ma'am.
Trust me, if the kid's father was there,
this Juggernaut, whoever he is,
I'm sure that the Juggernaut would have asked them
(08:13):
where his daughter was and they'd be helping him find him.
But obviously they aren't doing that
because they're all back there.
So clearly the Juggernaut's not back there.
I have my doubts.
You can doubt all you want, lady.
Bring me someone else to talk to.
Your incompetence enrages me.
This security guard narrows his eyes,
which you can kind of see behind his sunglasses.
(08:35):
And he says, ma'am, are we going to have some trouble here
or are you going to back off?
I'm going to go back and let them know what's going on.
You do that, ma'am.
Felicia, you walk back to the group.
Well, they're not letting us in.
Apparently, Mr. Juggernaut's not back there
(08:57):
and apparently, and they haven't heard anything
from him about looking for his daughter.
Fucking- alright, kid, where'd you lose your dad again?
He left me behind to get some cotton candy at the food hall.
All right, let's go.
Cotton candy.
All right.
You head back in the direction of the food hall.
Do we find where the cotton candy is?
(09:19):
Um, yeah.
I'm going to say you just,
you notice the cotton candy almost right away.
But Ozzy, you do notice running the cotton candy stand
is the same person who was running the corn dog stand
just in a different outfit.
He's like, hey, you want some cotton candy here?
So remind me of that guy from Avatar,
Doc, who also ran like the store
and was also the bridge builder.
(09:41):
Gosh, I was thinking of Amazing Word of Gumball,
that guy who works every job ever.
He's going to point to the kid, her dad.
You see him, Juggernaut.
Looks just like the kid, but tall, adult.
I think that's got to be presence and investigation
to try and get something out of this guy.
Presence and investigation.
(10:03):
That'll be seven.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
That is two successes.
This cotton candy vendor just sort of looks around
the other stalls and is like,
is that the Juggernaut's kid?
I just said that, yeah.
Listen, I don't know if I'm supposed to tell anybody this,
(10:25):
but I saw some security guards leading him backstage.
It looked like they were taking him against his will,
but I don't know.
I didn't get a good look at it.
All right.
Where's backstage?
Backstage is right next to the main stage.
I think they're doing a cosplay contest now.
You're really pushing this cosplay contest.
(10:47):
He just groans.
All right, let's go.
Right.
You head back to the main stage.
And how did your little adventure go?
Got any updates for us?
You got to enter the cosplay contest.
You're joking.
Nope.
Darling, I don't do cosplay.
After all, it wouldn't be fair.
I can change myself instantly.
(11:09):
There'd be no competition.
Good.
Either you have two options.
One, you do that so we can get the badges fair and square,
or two, I go in guns blazing.
Now look, this place maybe is sending me up a tree,
but I must say that that is not acceptable.
They're still paying me.
All right.
Well, good luck in the competition.
All right.
So you all arrive at the main stage once again.
(11:32):
The event still has not started,
but the same lady from before is like,
hi, you still want to sign up for the cosplay convention?
I mean, the cosplay contest?
Yes.
All right.
So that's going to be two adults for the cosplay contest.
We don't allow children.
Sorry, honey, as she says, looking at Carley.
Wait, what?
What do you mean?
(11:53):
Oh, you heard her.
You're assisting me.
That sounds great to me, darling.
You can just head on back up to behind the stage
and we'll get you all settled in.
All right, hold on.
He's going to like look throughout the crowd.
Can I see anyone's like costumes,
like say like they have like headgear or anything like that?
Yeah, you see like you see a bunch of people
(12:14):
wearing like different kinds of headgear.
Some like some have got like big shoulder pads.
It all looks very intricate.
Okay.
Um, would I see anything akin to say like a Yoshi head
or a mask or anything like that?
I'll do a quick flip to see if you do.
I want a dinosaur hat.
Yeah, you do see a few people got like Yoshi costumes,
(12:37):
including like some like pretty awesome like Yoshi caps
that would look pretty good on you.
All right, I go to one of them
and I grab at it with my ostrich mouth quickly.
Okay, that's going to be agility and melee.
Great.
So it's agility and melee.
So that's one, two, that's two.
(12:57):
Okay, one.
I got, okay, I got two successes.
You swipe a Yoshi hat off of somebody's head.
I'm imagining it be like one of those like great,
you know how you see those ostriches
that like just snap at somebody suddenly and bite at them?
Yeah, that's what Ozzy does.
Just like ah.
When you do the guy turns around,
and is like hey, but then looks up at you
(13:19):
and sees this ostrich just with his hat
in his head and he's just like.
Detective business.
I'll let him know that you did a good job.
The guy is too stunned to respond.
You have successfully acquired a Yoshi hat.
So he's going to go over to back to them
and is the kid still there?
Or she's still on me the entire time?
(13:40):
Yeah, no, the kid was with you.
Hey kid, can you put this on?
Hold on, he's going to like take the hat off
and his detective hat off.
Could you put the Yoshi thing on?
Alright, uh, Carley is going to be like,
yeah, I can do that.
I'll do a quick flip for Carley.
Yeah, she stands up on your back,
(14:00):
which Ozzy, you're not used to carrying people around,
even small people like this,
but this is a stone person.
So she is fairly heavy for a child of her size.
So as she like sort of like crawls up your neck,
you are feeling the weight and it doesn't feel great,
but she does manage to put the Yoshi head on your head.
(14:20):
Thank you.
And I put the detective hat on.
Okay, excellent.
So on top of your Yoshi hat,
so you're going to be like Detective Yoshi?
Yep.
Excellent.
You will fix this as you keep walking
to the back of the stage
where you see a few other people,
or quite a couple other people
walking around as their cosplay.
Just basically anything you can think of.
People are dressed up as it,
and I'm saying that so I don't have to tell you exactly.
(14:43):
So we can all imagine it.
Felicia, you doing your costume now or what's your plan?
That's a question because.
Let me switch this.
She's a black and white character.
So how does she exactly make a cosplay
that fits the rest of the group?
That's a good question.
Because she'd still just maintain her rubber hose style.
So like, even if she tried to be Mario,
(15:06):
or you know, generic turtle fighting plumber man,
she would still just be a rubber,
a black and white rubber hose version of the character
that would clash with it,
with the fucking ostrich in a Yoshi mask.
Well, you have seen quite a few other toons
walking around the convention,
and some of them are in cosplay.
It just sort of looks like the toonified version of it.
(15:26):
So yeah, you'll see like Toon Mario,
Toon Link, not that Toon Link,
but you know, like that.
So it's not out of the question
that a 2D black and white cartoon person
could do cosplay.
True, but they brought their costumes.
They're just the background characters from her cartoon.
They get paychecks that can pay for these things.
(15:48):
They have the time to dedicate towards these things.
She's too busy doing corporate stuff
to have time to have hobbies and make costumes.
That's true.
But I will point out,
you have an animation pocket
that you can pull anything out of.
It's just that I know by my logic,
(16:08):
by the way, I imagine it works,
I'm still just going to pull out black and white things
that fit with her rubber hose style.
So I'm just still thinking like,
it's going to clash no matter what.
If it clashes, it clashes.
So okay, I have an idea
for what her costume is going to be now.
All right.
Okay, so like I want her to...
(16:28):
What do I have to do to like disguise herself?
That would be a...
I think that would be a wit.
And for disguise, it would be wit and lying.
Okay, I do have two in lying,
and I have nothing in wits.
I'd be three cards plus one.
Sure, I couldn't switch that to like perform?
Yeah, I'll let you use perform.
That is a...
Yeah.
(16:49):
Okay, then that would bump it up to five then.
So like my plan is for her to change her entire look
to look like a rubber hose Peach.
Like she just sort of stretches herself to be taller
and mushes her face together to be smaller and rounder
as she just like then pulls down her little dress thing
to be a lot more, you know, like what it would look like.
(17:11):
Let me at least draw and see if I can make that happen first.
If I do perform, that's four for that,
one for wit, one because I'm still at full health,
and I got two successes out of that,
a queen of spades and an ace of spades.
All right.
The rest were failures.
Yep.
Yeah, you pull out a pretty solid toonified Peach costume.
It would...
Obviously, it's in black and white,
(17:32):
but it would give the effect of like the classic pink dress.
You also pull out a pretty accurate crown and...
I'm imagining she looks like a Paper Peach
from the Paper Mario games,
but like with slightly noodlier arms.
Yeah, for sure.
It's pretty solid.
Ozzy, you are just sort of an ostrich with a Yoshi hat.
(17:54):
Yeah.
So, you know, opposite ends of the spectrum a little bit.
Yeah, he's all he can do.
Yeah.
All right.
It's time for the contest to begin.
Woo!
You hear the crowd.
Okay, I'm going to say...
Well, can both of you just flip one card?
Oh, boy.
Ace of Spades.
(18:14):
King of Diamonds.
Ozzy, you are first on the billing.
Great.
So, Ozzy, you are directed by the stage hands to...
The music is like pumping really loud now,
and you can hear the MC saying,
Good afternoon, everybody.
Welcome to the Entertain-a-Thon Cosplay Contest.
The crowd starts clapping.
We got a bunch of entrants this year,
(18:37):
so give it up for our first contestant.
Ozzy, you are cued to walk out onto the stage.
He walks on out.
I'm going to need you to give me a charm and perform
to do your best cosplay strut.
Great.
Well, let's do this.
I'll both of my cards.
Let's go.
Number one.
(18:58):
Okay.
And number two.
Ah, no successes.
All right.
Ozzy, you really do not know what you're supposed to be doing.
You get the idea that they're pointing you towards a stage,
but like, what do you do after that?
So you just walk on out,
and everybody just sees an ostrich with a hat
(19:19):
carrying a little child on his back.
You just want to look out like, what do I do now?
Yeah.
And the crowd is just like looking at you in dead silence.
All you can hear is the thumping of the music.
Darling, you're supposed to act.
It's a theater.
Do something.
Felicia, if you want to boost Ozzy's performance,
(19:40):
you can do a charm and perform
to kind of give him some tips on what to do on the stage.
No, I kinda wanna see him.
He got me into this.
I want to see him.
I want to see how he gets himself through this.
Okay, fair enough.
That's fair.
Ozzy, you stand there.
You see another stagehand fervently waving you over like,
(20:01):
come here, come on, get off the stage.
All right.
And he just walks off.
As you walk off, you hear very slow scattered applause.
Yay, for him?
All right, Felicia, you're up.
All righty.
So my plan is I want to come out
(20:21):
into doing some little tap dance routine
like the Mario Bros. theme.
What would I have to do for that one?
I'm assuming it'd be either charm or presence plus perform.
I know perform, absolutely,
but charm or presence is what I'm imagining.
Yeah, I'd say charm because it's a dance.
You're supposed to be charming when you dance, I guess.
Three plus another four for perform,
(20:43):
and then one because I'm healthy.
What do I got here?
Failure, failure, failure, failure, failure.
Oh my God, it's all failures.
I have three pairs in here.
I have two fours, two twos, and two sevens.
Good poker hand, but that's not what we're looking for.
I don't play poker.
I have no idea.
Well, Felicia, you are very used to walking out on stage
(21:06):
getting some good applause.
The crowd eagerly awaits what you're going to do
as you step out into the center stage.
And suddenly she remembers she's not getting paid for this.
You like start to do like one little tap
and you're just like, well, hold on.
This isn't right.
And you're just like, no, I don't want to do this anymore.
(21:30):
Internally, she's all like,
this isn't fair to those poor darlings
who worked so hard for this competition.
I'll just hope my beauty wins this.
And just walks right off stage.
Okay, great.
The MC's like, give it up for Peach, everybody.
And you hear very also like minimal applause.
God, why did I have to watch right there?
(21:52):
The stagehand standing next to you is like,
all right, you two.
You kind of blew the entrance part,
but there are a few more rounds.
So just hang in tight.
You might be able to win over the crowd yet.
Oh, God.
Let's just kind of skip over a bit
and let the MC get through the rest of the contestants
who you both failed.
So they all do better than you on their entrance.
(22:13):
The MC says, all right, everybody,
it's time for our contestants to come back out
and do their best group pose.
You hear clapping from the crowd
and some whooping and yelling.
Let's bring everybody out here
to do a group cosplay pose.
Come on out, everyone.
You are all both ushered out onto the stage
with the rest of the contestants.
(22:36):
And yeah, flip one more card for me each of you again
and just tell me what you get.
Joker.
Oh, good.
Ozzy, your cue was to just stand in place,
but somebody in the crowd is eating a corn dog.
You get a whiff of it,
and you fly into a bit of a rage.
(22:57):
In the direction of the crowd,
you're just like, I gotta get him.
I gotta get the Corn Dog Snatcher.
You leap into the crowd.
Let's go.
The crowd scatters,
scared that the contestant has jumped at them.
Where's that goddamn Corn Dog Snatcher?
Oh, my.
(23:18):
Ozzy, in the hubbub of the crowd
like running around you,
you see a security guard's coming toward you.
And just for, you know,
because he's always there,
it's that same security guard.
You.
He walks up to you and he says,
sir, you're gonna need to calm down.
You're gonna need to let me do my damn job.
(23:38):
Darling, please just leave this old palooka alone.
You don't know what he's done.
I was referring to you and talking to him.
Please, the adults are talking here.
And he just looks at his hands
and then immediately Johnny Cash's.
What hands?
Well, his wings.
Just what have I become
(24:00):
from Johnny Cash is playing at his head?
Carley on your back, though,
is sort of like,
hey, mean old Mr. Security Man,
leave my friends alone.
And the security guard looks at the kid
and is just like,
let the adults talk, honey.
Ozzy just got Johnny Cash going on his head.
(24:22):
I hurt myself today.
You can hear somebody playing that
in the convention for some reason.
Gosh.
You're looking around and you can't see it,
but you know what?
It's the corn dog and the cotton candy vendor
is playing on a guitar in the side,
playing Hurt by Johnny Cash.
Never doing convention work again.
(24:43):
Never again.
The security guard says,
all right, I've had enough of you two.
You two are going to have to get
out of this convention or
so help me, I'm going to throw you out.
You can't give me the bum rush.
I'm being paid to be here.
All right.
Him, on the other hand,
you can do whatever you want to.
But leave the girl.
All right.
I guess we're doing this.
You're taking us backstage right now.
(25:04):
All right.
The security guard looked at you.
Ozzy is just like,
I don't think that's going to happen.
Boys! At a moment's notice,
like two more security guards hop by his side.
They're taking out their batons.
They are going to thwump you.
Darling, now might be a good time
to get a wiggle on.
No wiggling in here.
(25:26):
I would like to retrieve
the little girl off his back
and then run away.
Okay.
She shouldn't be in combat.
Oh, it's fine.
Yeah, we're good.
All right, Ozzy.
You can fight if you want.
At least let me take her out of here.
I didn't exactly treat her
the nicest when she got here.
I need to make up for that
(25:47):
and be this smart, rational adult
and get her out of here.
All right.
Yeah.
Felicia, you take Carley off of Ozzy's back
and sort of bring her to the side
as Ozzy, the security guards,
raise their weapons at you.
But you do have initiative over all of them.
So you may make the first action.
All right.
Do I?
Also, big question.
If you're an ostrich,
why didn't you just run through them?
(26:08):
I'm not fast.
You're an ostrich.
That's true.
But Ozzy has one agility.
So he's actually- probably
because he keeps smoking so many cigarettes.
Oh, yeah.
And also, you know, where is he going to run?
Too many corn dogs.
Now, my question is,
did Ozzy bring his gun?
Flip one card.
(26:29):
All right.
What if this is going to be the Joker?
It's at five of clubs.
You don't have your gun.
All right.
We're snapping at him.
All right.
You like snap with the beak?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Brawn melee, please.
All right.
That is three cards.
So that's one, two, three.
One success.
Are you snapping at the main guy
or his goons that he summoned?
(26:50):
I'll go after one of the goons.
All right.
You just sort of chomp at them a little bit.
You get a little nibble on one of their arms
and they're just like, ow.
I need you to back off.
The lead security guard is going to get a turn
and gets two successes.
So two damages coming at you.
All right.
Well, that is, I guess I'm dodging two of them.
(27:11):
This guard takes out his beating stick
and swings it at you,
just narrowly missing your neck
as you swerve it out of the way.
The other security guards are going to get a quick turn
and they're just going to stand around
and do absolutely nothing
and just being like, yeah, get him, boss,
but make no attack of their own.
They got no successes.
Felicia, you are not in this fight
(27:31):
or would you like to join?
I feel like I should enter combat
even though I technically don't have to.
You don't have to.
You can be on the sidelines.
But I just want to know
because I'll give you an opportunity
to make an action even if you're not in combat.
It doesn't have to be like a fight action.
But if you want to join combat,
I just need to let you know
so you can get an initiative order.
Here's my options.
(27:52):
I either join combat
and leave this small child alone
and able to be kidnapped
or I don't enter combat
and I run the risk of Ozzy getting himself killed.
I don't think he's going to die to security guards.
I wouldn't do that on a first session.
Well, given that the Juggernaut
has been taken captive by security apparently
(28:12):
and we're not allowed to find out about that,
call me crazy.
I have a feeling losing
they might kill you
and act just like, oh no, they resisted,
you know, like police officers.
Yeah, we're fine.
I'm not exactly sure
if leaving this child alone is a good idea
or if stepping in and interacting is a good idea.
Well, Carley is looking like
(28:34):
she's like kind of like doing
like shadowboxing, being like,
yeah, get him Ozzy, get him.
So she is probably raring to fight
if you want to put her in.
I am not bringing a small child into combat.
You could.
All right.
I am not a murder hobo.
I'm not going to commit war crimes.
I am not bringing a child into combat.
You're not doing anything.
They're the ones punching her.
(28:55):
This child will likely follow me into combat
and mimic me.
I mean, we all know what happens
when kids see their favorite TV stars doing stuff.
They mimic it.
Oh, gosh, Wilbur.
Well, think about what Wilbur did.
So we got to think about that.
Carley's going to be the new Wilbur.
For those of you that don't know,
(29:15):
Wilbur met Wilbur Jr.
who was pretty much just a small worker.
They don't even know who Wilbur is.
We never explained the previous campaign.
Wilbur was Wolf's previous character.
Yeah, they watched the kid version of them die.
Yeah, very horrifically by an RPG.
(29:36):
Geez, Wilbur's a tragic character.
But anyway, yeah, sure.
Whatever you want to do.
I'm sad we didn't start doing this series
back when we were doing that.
So an audience could have built for that moment.
That's true.
But live and learn.
Someone lives.
It wasn't Wilbur Jr.
I can tell you that much.
What's the best way I can interact with combat
(29:57):
without having to set a bad idea for the kid
and not leave her alone?
You can defuse the situation.
Oh, yeah.
You can defuse the situation
is what I would recommend.
I tried to.
And then Wilbur- and then Ozzy started attacking.
Well, you can keep trying to defuse the situation.
He's already started fighting again.
(30:21):
He escalated it.
Then he took the first swing.
He ruined the cosplay contest,
which was going to be a cool set piece.
And I kind of railroaded it,
but this is great.
I'm happy about it.
I mean, Ozzy has a rant.
I know what Ozzy would say to Felicia in this moment.
(30:43):
Ozzy would probably look back.
You can say it to Felicia.
Talking is free in combat, basically.
He'd probably say this is none of your beeswax
and then go back to fighting.
No, he'd be like,
hey, I need you to distract them real quick.
I'm sorry.
He wants he starts this thing.
I tried to bring it to a stop before it started
and now he wants me to help him.
Draw their attention to you for something.
(31:04):
I don't know.
Do something flashy.
Felicia's good at doing flashy stuff.
You don't got to hit nobody.
Just do something.
This is my fight and I'll end it.
Fine.
To attempt to escalate at the least,
distract everyone.
I'm going to have her do some big dance routine
and out of nowhere, divine spotlights
(31:26):
are just making everything else darker
and shining their light on her
just to draw all the attention at her.
Yeah, that's what I want to do.
Charm and perform.
That's three, four, and then one.
Because you're still healthy.
Failure, failure, success.
Failure, failure, success, success.
Okay, that's four successes, four failures.
It's a 50-50 ratio.
(31:47):
All right.
But that's good.
Four successes is good.
Okay.
Yeah, Felicia, you just...
It suddenly goes dark in the convention hall
and magic spotlights appear over your head
and you go into an intensely choreographed
and beautiful dance routine.
Do you know what kind of music
would be in the background for this?
(32:08):
If you're blue and don't know where to go
Why don't you go where fashion sits?
Putting on the ritz.
Yeah, Felicia, you put the hell on the ritz.
All of these security guards are distracted
by Felicia's incredible song and dance.
So you have an attack of opportunity
if you want to attack
or if you want to do whatever.
(32:30):
Okay, so then this goes outside of my turn, right?
What's up?
So attack of opportunity means I can do this
and then I can do my attack, right?
Yeah.
Okay, what would be my original attack?
Got it.
Okay, so I'm going to use my telekinesis
to grab their baton and bring it to me.
Excellent.
Yep, that'll be, I think that's wit and telekinesis.
(32:50):
We didn't mention up until now
that Ozzy does have telekinetic powers.
He does.
Two, all right, so there's two successes
but I have to shuffle my deck again.
Do you want me to keep the two successes
out of the deck or just shuffle them back in?
Keep them out, like put them like
at the bottom of your discard pile now.
Gotcha.
Or like, yeah, they'll be the start
(33:11):
of the new discard pile.
Gotcha.
All right, so let's reshuffle.
Do you need to flip more cards
or was it two successes and that was it?
I only flipped two cards
and those were the two successes, yeah.
So it was, you said wit and telekinesis
so that is six, so I have to do four more.
All right, one, two, three, four, five, six.
(33:32):
So that is three successes.
All right.
Yep, Ozzy, as the security guards are,
I'll give you a choice.
Do you want to try and get all of their batons
or do you want to just like pull out one
and like ready yourself in attack position?
My main goal was to grab the one from the main guy
and then put it in my mouth and start swinging.
(33:53):
All right, excellent.
You do successfully pull the baton.
Actually, you pulled it out of his hand.
He's so distracted that he doesn't notice
that his weapon left his hand.
It is now in your mouth.
You are primed and ready for an attack,
which if you're gonna...
Yep, we're swinging.
That'll be brawn melee plus two.
So brawn melee plus two.
You know what?
(34:14):
Plus an additional one for the club.
Okay, so brawn, one, two, three.
So that'll be five.
Let's go two, three, four.
Two successes, but one of them is the queen of hearts.
All right, so three.
As the lead security guard is watching Felicia do her dance,
(34:34):
you conk him right on the back of the head
dealing three damage.
Back off.
This lead security guard,
as you hit him, almost immediately turns around
and instinctively trying to get you off of him with his stick,
but then realizes, wait a minute.
I don't have my beating stick in my hand.
You chose this.
He looks at you with the billy club in your hand,
(34:57):
in your mouth, rather.
He's like, give that back.
You didn't say anything.
Okay, good.
All right, let's see what the security guard is gonna do.
Cool.
So the security card Jokered to retaliate.
I'm gonna say he tries to swipe for the club in your mouth,
but in the process of doing so,
(35:19):
kind of leans forward a little bit too much
and sort of falls onto your body, Ozzy,
which means you are free to peck him a little bit,
which I'm assuming you would like to do so.
Absolutely.
All right, I won't make you flip for that.
You just do another point of damage.
It's like, ah, get off me.
The other security guards are gonna get a quick turn now.
Let's see if they do anything.
One point of damage is coming at you.
(35:42):
Yeah, taking it.
One of the security guards
just beats you on the side a little bit.
It doesn't loosen your grip from the main security guard,
but you take a whack.
Dick.
Felicia, you're still dancing.
Good.
Although it does seem like the other security guards
have broken distraction,
(36:03):
so you don't have to do that anymore.
Carley is kind of looking at Ozzy like,
wow, he's messing up those guys good,
ain't she, Miss Felicia?
Yes, they are.
Felicia, if you'd like to make an action,
you may do so again.
Combat or not combat.
They are not looking at you, by the way,
so if you did want to get in combat,
you can sneak up on them.
So I'll take my cartoon chalk
(36:24):
and draw a door with a sign saying
security guard assistance.
Okay, just to get them,
just maybe get one of them to notice it
and then knock themself out.
Charm and engineering.
That makes sense to me for like drawing something.
Just four cards,
(36:45):
because I have nothing in engineering.
It would be more like an artistic thing,
but I would say like,
there is no stat for the arts, sadly.
Yeah.
I mean, there's two blank spots.
We could have made one, hypothetically.
That's true.
It might fall under the umbrella of perform,
but I see this as you're trying to like,
you are trying to create something that's artificial.
I mean, I'm drawing something
(37:06):
that only I could interact with.
Right.
So it would just be like drawing a door
or drawing like a little cave.
Yep.
Just to do a Road Runner gag.
Anyways, let's see.
All failures and a Joker.
Excellent.
So what were you trying to do?
I was going to draw like a door on the wall,
(37:27):
like right crudely, right?
Like security assistance.
That way they'd be like,
oh, yes, there should be somebody to help me in there
and then run straight into it.
As you are drawing this on the wall,
the security guards turn towards you and just like,
hey, no drawing on convention property.
Felicia, they're running straight at you.
They're going to get an attack on you.
(37:48):
Oh God.
One of them Jokered.
They Jokered.
They Jokered and got no successes.
So Felicia, you weren't able to finish drawing
like the door on the wall before they spotted you.
So they just sort of tumble on the ground
as they like, try to approach you.
And then whatever drawing you did finish on the chalk
(38:09):
falls off of the wall and collapses onto them,
dealing a little bit of damage.
So congrats.
Cool.
Ozzy, these guys ran away from you,
tripped and got a little bit collapsed on,
but it is your turn.
We're running and hitting the main guy.
All right.
While he's down.
Excellent.
That's brawn melee plus two, no, brawn melee plus one.
(38:32):
Brawn melee plus one.
So that'll be one, two, three, three cards.
I'm no longer healthy.
Let's go.
I got one success.
You're healthy.
No, no, I just got hit for one.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
Well, still one success.
Okay.
You just bonked this main guy on the noggin
a little bit.
Suffer.
You just say that out loud.
(38:54):
Suffer.
Swear to me.
Where are the other drugs going?
What about the business of that little girl?
Before you point to Carley.
Yeah, I point to her, where's her dad?
And then smack down.
The security guard looks up at you
and is just like, you two don't know
(39:15):
what you're messing with.
I've got a couple more whacks in me.
Fine.
You want to get backstage so bad?
Here.
He reaches into his pocket and hands you out
two backstage passes.
I gotta drop the filter.
I'm sorry.
(39:35):
We beat up the security and they're like,
here's your backstage passes.
Congrats, you win.
You beat the boss battle.
He's going to look down and just say,
now which one of us won?
You did.
Good man.
And you snatched the passes out of his hand
(39:57):
and the security guard just stumbles back to the ground
and is panting very heavily.
He's bleeding a little bit because of all the,
you know, beatings you gave him.
You have two passes to backstage.
Hey, we need one for the kid.
I'm gonna just do a quick flip.
Yeah, all right, fine.
He tends you another one.
Good.
(40:17):
Oh no.
All right, Carley walks up to you Ozzy.
That was great.
You, you whacked him hard.
I did.
If I would have had my gun, it would have been better.
And she turns to you Felicia.
And your song and dances.
That was awesome.
Thank you, darling.
Then let's find your papa.
Yeah, let's go.
And instinctively Carley walks up to your side Ozzy
(40:40):
to get back on you.
This is the thing now.
Yeah, she says excitedly.
You can say no.
You can tell the child, no, you can't ride me anymore.
He's gonna like kneel down and just say,
all right, one condition.
What's that?
Gives her a match, light it.
You got it.
(41:00):
Ozzy pulls out another cigarette.
You want one?
Darling, I don't smoke.
And then in that instance I wanna pull out my own,
like my, wanna pull out my character's,
like, cigarette holder.
Just pop that into her mouth.
Yeah, he looks at you like, I wasn't talking to you.
I just like, my jaw drops.
She now realized he was talking to the kid.
(41:22):
Now she's, now I'm just gonna like grab,
grab Carley off of his back.
And she's like, no, I suddenly realized you're not the ideal.
adult sort here.
Yeah, did she at least like the match though?
No, no, no, no, sorry.
She failed on a flip to like the match.
So no, I'm taking custody of this kid now.
(41:45):
And then he's gonna like look around like,
anyone got a light?
No, no one's gonna- and he sees that
everyone's just kind of forwarding him like that.
Everyone from the crowd did like kind of disperse
because it seems like the cosplay convention,
uh, cosplay contest just sort of broke up
after you jumped off the stage
and started beating on security.
But the cotton candy vendor does walk up to you and says,
(42:06):
I got a light.
And whips out his lighter and lights it for you.
I don't know why this guy like keeps following you around
and switching jobs, but that's what he does.
Thanks.
No problem.
He goes ahead and lights the cigarette
and then starts smoking.
The vendor looks at you and says,
well, see you never again, I bet.
And turns and walks away.
He still smells like corn dogs. And he walks off.
(42:30):
All right.
Wwell, you all now have backstage passes,
So would you- you noticed the backstage door
right next to the stage earlier.
So you head that way.
You show your backstage passes to the guard
and he steps aside to let you in.
And I think that is where we will leave it for now.
Next time on Live Laugh Loot.
(43:07):
It feels strange doing this
and not hearing A Flock of Seagulls sing us out.
That's true.
Which you won't if you're listening to this
because we kind of can't use that song.
Yeah.
You can in your head.
Since we're using Audacity,
we hypothetically could use the old playlist.
It just wouldn't because it wouldn't show up
in our little audio programs.
Yeah, no, I completely forgot to like
(43:29):
generate a new playlist as well
or even play the old one.
So I've been going with no music.
Like so far like the most I would pull up
is like the Heartbound OST
because they're pretty chill on that.
Yeah.
Even then.
I've often done the Mass Effect soundtrack
when we do, when we do sessions
because it's very like 80s spacey.
Has Putting on the Ritz
entered public domain?
Can we do that?
(43:50):
I don't think so.
Damn it.
Yeah, I think they can still like monetize it.
Yeah.
So at the end of every Space Kings session,
we have to assign something called Hero Points.
Both of you can get one Hero Point from me
because your characters are really cool
and so are you two.
(44:11):
Yeah, everyone's cool.
In a game of Space Kings,
every player would go around the table
and explain who they thought was their hero,
why what they did was heroic
and that player gets a Hero Point
for their character.
A Hero Point allows you to flip
two additional cards on any flip.
Now we only have two players
(44:31):
so of course they would award
their Hero Points to each other.
But Navi, what was something that Ozzy did today
that was hero, hero worthy?
He didn't, despite his presence,
he didn't immediately get rid of a kid.
No, he very much put up with her
to at least try and dump her on me.
So at the very least,
despite how Ozzy presented himself,
(44:53):
he managed to maintain some level of decency.
Yeah.
Ozzy, what was something that Felicia did today
that was that you liked
or that was heroic or what have you?
I love the big musical number.
I suggest more big musical numbers.
All the time.
In fact, let's break down the door
as we go in and start doing a musical.
Okay.
(45:14):
I'm sure we will not remember that for next time.
Nope.
All right.
Thanks for playing Space Kings with me.
Thanks for inviting us.
I love playing this game.
Yeah.
It was a good time.
It was fun.
It's good to be back.
Yeah.
Although if you're watching this,
it's good to start.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is the first episode,
(45:34):
we've never met before this stream.
What are you all talking about?
We were just matched up together
by some AI algorithm.
We found a dating app
and then said we all played tabletop games.
Yep.
And we're all like,
well, screw dating each other.
We're going to tabletop.
That sounds like a thing.
I am a trans-fem lesbian,
(45:56):
so I will put that on the record here.
Not my types.
I just love the,
hey, let's not date and instead tabletop.
That sounds like an innuendo 100%.
100%.
True.
I think an app for matching up
tabletop players would be fantastic.
Yeah, for sure.
(46:16):
Well, we'll see you all... next week,
every two weeks.
I don't know what our release schedule is going to be.
Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
Gosh.
Bye.
Bye, everybody.
Bye-bye.
(46:46):
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space Kings system,
developed and published by Supertry Studios.
You can learn more about this game or buy it yourself
at supertry.itch.io/spacekings.
Follow us on bluesky at livelaughloot.bsky.social,
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast@gmail.com.
(47:08):
Our intro music is Out of Control by Chill Carrier,
and our outro music is One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description to find out what other songs
played this episode or the check licensing information.
To learn more about this podcast or listen to more episodes,
check us out at livelaughloot.libsyn.com.
Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug, and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then, uh, don't watch the show.
Okay, bye!
You said sink, I said washing machine.
But, but they're not in the sink. Well actually no, the sink's nevermind, I'm wrong. I'm very wrong.
A sink technically is a washing machine in that it is a machine that helps you wash.
Is it a machine or is it just a hose?
(00:26):
Uh, some sinks are probably...
It's a hose that serves a mechanized purpose, so therefore it's a machine.
Alright, I'm gonna refute that. It is not a hose, it is a pipe.
It becomes a hose if you have the detachable nozzle that, you know,
you can just sort of pull off and use like a hose.
I guess so, but our sink doesn't have that.
(00:46):
Well yours doesn't, mine does, so I can qualify mine as a ho- as a mechanized hose.
You good?
Always.
I'm good.
You went silent after that.
I'm angry that you have a better sink than I do.
Previously on Live Laugh Loot.
Everyone's gathered to the Entertain-a-Thon on the moon Titan,
(01:06):
including Ozzy the ostrich detective summoned here via an unsigned letter.
Unable to obtain a badge, he instead took a deal from a scalper to find and kill the
Juggernaut, a wrestler famous across the galaxy, in exchange for access to the con.
Inside, Ozzy met a young lost girl named Carley, and he took her to meet her idol,
the cartoon star Felicia Fox.
(01:26):
After chastising con security for not doing their job,
the trio set off to look for Carley's dad, but Ozzy soon learned a horrible truth.
Carley's dad is the Juggernaut.
We'll see whether our party gets any closer to finding this mysterious wrestler
as we head back into the convention hall where a big event is about to take place.
(02:05):
Okay, so you're walking down the convention hall, just sort of following the crowd.
You're asking people if they've seen the Juggernaut,
showing them the poster that you found as well.
Hey, and he's just gonna whoever's next to him.
Where's the locker rooms?
He, you just sort of like say this at like someone dressed in like,
of really like put together the last minute cosplay of some robot you don't even recognize.
(02:29):
I just- somebody like, what? Locker rooms? What are you talking about?
Backstage where the wrestlers are.
I don't know anything about that.
I just- he just starts walking away immediately.
Okay, the guy looks back to you really confused and then just sort of like,
that was weird, walks away out of this game forever.
(02:52):
Ozzy's just trying to find somebody who like looks like they were here now.
You're all just, you're all still following the crowd who's generally marching in the
direction of the main stage and lo and behold, after a while you come across the main stage,
which currently looks empty, but you can hear loud music blaring.
Like all the music that's in the convention hall is coming from speakers right about here.
(03:15):
And people, plenty of people are lining up, many of them dressed to the nines in
cosplays of various kinds.
Some are just there to like, some just in normal street clothes,
but there's tons of people here.
If you'd like to try and find the Juggernaut in this crowd, that will have to be a,
I think that'll be Wit and Investigation again.
Yep, that's what I'm gonna do.
(03:36):
Better than me.
So Wit, Investigation, so it'll be eight, wait, wait, is it eight?
Yeah, it's eight.
Should be, yeah.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, one success out of all eight chords.
Cool.
(03:57):
Ozzy, you crane your neck upwards a bit to try and get a better vantage point above people.
You don't see the Juggernaut anywhere, but you can see that the crowd is getting
very excited for something that's about to happen on the main stage.
As you are looking around, one of the convention staff approaches you and says,
Hey, you three, are you here for the cosplay contest?
(04:19):
No.
Are you sure?
The winners get backstage all day passes.
She's already backstage, and he points to Felicia Fox.
She's already a guest here.
I'm just trying to find the Juggernaut.
Felicia, your guest pass actually does not let you go backstage,
which you have found very odd and curious.
(04:40):
Excuse me?
They haven't given me, one of your star guests, a backstage pass.
I will not stand for this.
You there, do I look like some dumb dora?
I demand full respect now.
This lady who has not broken her smile at all, even as you get more aggressive, is like,
Well, I wouldn't know how to solve that issue, but if you would like to go backstage,
(05:03):
you can if you win this cosplay contest.
Why, I oughta...
You oughta sign up for the cosplay contest.
That's what you oughta do.
There is no cosplay, that is beneath me.
I am an actress and I demand backstage.
Give me charm and persuasion to try and wrestle something out of this lady.
(05:24):
So that's charm.
So I do have three points of charm.
That's three cards by default.
One card for being healthy.
And then do I have any persuasion?
I do not.
So it's just these four cards.
Yeah.
Okay.
I got a jack and a king.
The other two are failures.
Excellent.
Quick count.
Are we just jac-king around or are we going to make some progress?
Gosh, that's a sentence.
(05:45):
Damn.
I'm sorry.
I was really proud of that one.
Improv's not my thing.
So I'm just.
It was improv.
Yeah, it's all improv, baby.
You argue to this lady that you should be let backstage
because you are Felicia Fox, the best damn actress in the entire universe.
And this lady is sort of looking at you like,
(06:05):
Well, I don't have the authority to just let you back there.
I'm just here to run the cosplay contest.
But if you'd like to get backstage,
maybe you could take it up with our security guard.
And she points you towards the side of the stage
where you see once again,
that security guard would let you in, Ozzy,
who was just standing around guarding the door to the backstage.
(06:29):
Go have fun.
I'll talk to Mr. Rube.
You stay here and watch over her.
I was already going to do that.
So Felicia, you're going to walk up to the security guard?
Yes, I am.
Excellent.
You walk over and you're like,
you're just like cheeks puffed out, like, huffy walking up to her,
or to him, sorry, walking up to him.
(06:49):
He looks in your direction and like as she sees you approaching
and you just get the impression that he's like,
Oh, this lady again.
This is the first time I've met him.
No, no, no.
This was the security guard who said,
Hey, you should go to the main stage.
I'm going to try and find someone to help find the kid's child,
the kid's daughter, the kid's dad,
(07:10):
which, you know, he's standing in front of this door,
just guarding it doesn't seem like he's doing that at all.
Hello, once again, I've come to,
I've come with some updates given our previous encounter.
The security guard looks at you and does not say a word.
Her dad's the Juggernaut.
We need to get backstage.
It's a sheet.
We can reunite father and daughter.
(07:31):
Can we do that?
Give me presence persuasion now to try and, well, persuade him.
Three cards.
Oh, a king and queen.
Hey.
So it's two successes again.
Yeah, this guy looks at you and just gives a big heavy sigh like,
I can't let you backstage, ma'am.
It's employees only.
(07:52):
Yeah, I guess that makes sense, actually.
Look, can you at least go back there
and please tell Mr. Juggernaut
that his daughter's out here waiting for him?
We got plenty of security guards back there, ma'am.
Trust me, if the kid's father was there,
this Juggernaut, whoever he is,
I'm sure that the Juggernaut would have asked them
(08:13):
where his daughter was and they'd be helping him find him.
But obviously they aren't doing that
because they're all back there.
So clearly the Juggernaut's not back there.
I have my doubts.
You can doubt all you want, lady.
Bring me someone else to talk to.
Your incompetence enrages me.
This security guard narrows his eyes,
which you can kind of see behind his sunglasses.
(08:35):
And he says, ma'am, are we going to have some trouble here
or are you going to back off?
I'm going to go back and let them know what's going on.
You do that, ma'am.
Felicia, you walk back to the group.
Well, they're not letting us in.
Apparently, Mr. Juggernaut's not back there
(08:57):
and apparently, and they haven't heard anything
from him about looking for his daughter.
Fucking- alright, kid, where'd you lose your dad again?
He left me behind to get some cotton candy at the food hall.
All right, let's go.
Cotton candy.
All right.
You head back in the direction of the food hall.
Do we find where the cotton candy is?
(09:19):
Um, yeah.
I'm going to say you just,
you notice the cotton candy almost right away.
But Ozzy, you do notice running the cotton candy stand
is the same person who was running the corn dog stand
just in a different outfit.
He's like, hey, you want some cotton candy here?
So remind me of that guy from Avatar,
Doc, who also ran like the store
and was also the bridge builder.
(09:41):
Gosh, I was thinking of Amazing Word of Gumball,
that guy who works every job ever.
He's going to point to the kid, her dad.
You see him, Juggernaut.
Looks just like the kid, but tall, adult.
I think that's got to be presence and investigation
to try and get something out of this guy.
Presence and investigation.
(10:03):
That'll be seven.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
That is two successes.
This cotton candy vendor just sort of looks around
the other stalls and is like,
is that the Juggernaut's kid?
I just said that, yeah.
Listen, I don't know if I'm supposed to tell anybody this,
(10:25):
but I saw some security guards leading him backstage.
It looked like they were taking him against his will,
but I don't know.
I didn't get a good look at it.
All right.
Where's backstage?
Backstage is right next to the main stage.
I think they're doing a cosplay contest now.
You're really pushing this cosplay contest.
(10:47):
He just groans.
All right, let's go.
Right.
You head back to the main stage.
And how did your little adventure go?
Got any updates for us?
You got to enter the cosplay contest.
You're joking.
Nope.
Darling, I don't do cosplay.
After all, it wouldn't be fair.
I can change myself instantly.
(11:09):
There'd be no competition.
Good.
Either you have two options.
One, you do that so we can get the badges fair and square,
or two, I go in guns blazing.
Now look, this place maybe is sending me up a tree,
but I must say that that is not acceptable.
They're still paying me.
All right.
Well, good luck in the competition.
All right.
So you all arrive at the main stage once again.
(11:32):
The event still has not started,
but the same lady from before is like,
hi, you still want to sign up for the cosplay convention?
I mean, the cosplay contest?
Yes.
All right.
So that's going to be two adults for the cosplay contest.
We don't allow children.
Sorry, honey, as she says, looking at Carley.
Wait, what?
What do you mean?
(11:53):
Oh, you heard her.
You're assisting me.
That sounds great to me, darling.
You can just head on back up to behind the stage
and we'll get you all settled in.
All right, hold on.
He's going to like look throughout the crowd.
Can I see anyone's like costumes,
like say like they have like headgear or anything like that?
Yeah, you see like you see a bunch of people
(12:14):
wearing like different kinds of headgear.
Some like some have got like big shoulder pads.
It all looks very intricate.
Okay.
Um, would I see anything akin to say like a Yoshi head
or a mask or anything like that?
I'll do a quick flip to see if you do.
I want a dinosaur hat.
Yeah, you do see a few people got like Yoshi costumes,
(12:37):
including like some like pretty awesome like Yoshi caps
that would look pretty good on you.
All right, I go to one of them
and I grab at it with my ostrich mouth quickly.
Okay, that's going to be agility and melee.
Great.
So it's agility and melee.
So that's one, two, that's two.
(12:57):
Okay, one.
I got, okay, I got two successes.
You swipe a Yoshi hat off of somebody's head.
I'm imagining it be like one of those like great,
you know how you see those ostriches
that like just snap at somebody suddenly and bite at them?
Yeah, that's what Ozzy does.
Just like ah.
When you do the guy turns around,
and is like hey, but then looks up at you
(13:19):
and sees this ostrich just with his hat
in his head and he's just like.
Detective business.
I'll let him know that you did a good job.
The guy is too stunned to respond.
You have successfully acquired a Yoshi hat.
So he's going to go over to back to them
and is the kid still there?
Or she's still on me the entire time?
(13:40):
Yeah, no, the kid was with you.
Hey kid, can you put this on?
Hold on, he's going to like take the hat off
and his detective hat off.
Could you put the Yoshi thing on?
Alright, uh, Carley is going to be like,
yeah, I can do that.
I'll do a quick flip for Carley.
Yeah, she stands up on your back,
(14:00):
which Ozzy, you're not used to carrying people around,
even small people like this,
but this is a stone person.
So she is fairly heavy for a child of her size.
So as she like sort of like crawls up your neck,
you are feeling the weight and it doesn't feel great,
but she does manage to put the Yoshi head on your head.
(14:20):
Thank you.
And I put the detective hat on.
Okay, excellent.
So on top of your Yoshi hat,
so you're going to be like Detective Yoshi?
Yep.
Excellent.
You will fix this as you keep walking
to the back of the stage
where you see a few other people,
or quite a couple other people
walking around as their cosplay.
Just basically anything you can think of.
People are dressed up as it,
and I'm saying that so I don't have to tell you exactly.
(14:43):
So we can all imagine it.
Felicia, you doing your costume now or what's your plan?
That's a question because.
Let me switch this.
She's a black and white character.
So how does she exactly make a cosplay
that fits the rest of the group?
That's a good question.
Because she'd still just maintain her rubber hose style.
So like, even if she tried to be Mario,
(15:06):
or you know, generic turtle fighting plumber man,
she would still just be a rubber,
a black and white rubber hose version of the character
that would clash with it,
with the fucking ostrich in a Yoshi mask.
Well, you have seen quite a few other toons
walking around the convention,
and some of them are in cosplay.
It just sort of looks like the toonified version of it.
(15:26):
So yeah, you'll see like Toon Mario,
Toon Link, not that Toon Link,
but you know, like that.
So it's not out of the question
that a 2D black and white cartoon person
could do cosplay.
True, but they brought their costumes.
They're just the background characters from her cartoon.
They get paychecks that can pay for these things.
(15:48):
They have the time to dedicate towards these things.
She's too busy doing corporate stuff
to have time to have hobbies and make costumes.
That's true.
But I will point out,
you have an animation pocket
that you can pull anything out of.
It's just that I know by my logic,
(16:08):
by the way, I imagine it works,
I'm still just going to pull out black and white things
that fit with her rubber hose style.
So I'm just still thinking like,
it's going to clash no matter what.
If it clashes, it clashes.
So okay, I have an idea
for what her costume is going to be now.
All right.
Okay, so like I want her to...
(16:28):
What do I have to do to like disguise herself?
That would be a...
I think that would be a wit.
And for disguise, it would be wit and lying.
Okay, I do have two in lying,
and I have nothing in wits.
I'd be three cards plus one.
Sure, I couldn't switch that to like perform?
Yeah, I'll let you use perform.
That is a...
Yeah.
(16:49):
Okay, then that would bump it up to five then.
So like my plan is for her to change her entire look
to look like a rubber hose Peach.
Like she just sort of stretches herself to be taller
and mushes her face together to be smaller and rounder
as she just like then pulls down her little dress thing
to be a lot more, you know, like what it would look like.
(17:11):
Let me at least draw and see if I can make that happen first.
If I do perform, that's four for that,
one for wit, one because I'm still at full health,
and I got two successes out of that,
a queen of spades and an ace of spades.
All right.
The rest were failures.
Yep.
Yeah, you pull out a pretty solid toonified Peach costume.
It would...
Obviously, it's in black and white,
(17:32):
but it would give the effect of like the classic pink dress.
You also pull out a pretty accurate crown and...
I'm imagining she looks like a Paper Peach
from the Paper Mario games,
but like with slightly noodlier arms.
Yeah, for sure.
It's pretty solid.
Ozzy, you are just sort of an ostrich with a Yoshi hat.
(17:54):
Yeah.
So, you know, opposite ends of the spectrum a little bit.
Yeah, he's all he can do.
Yeah.
All right.
It's time for the contest to begin.
Woo!
You hear the crowd.
Okay, I'm going to say...
Well, can both of you just flip one card?
Oh, boy.
Ace of Spades.
(18:14):
King of Diamonds.
Ozzy, you are first on the billing.
Great.
So, Ozzy, you are directed by the stage hands to...
The music is like pumping really loud now,
and you can hear the MC saying,
Good afternoon, everybody.
Welcome to the Entertain-a-Thon Cosplay Contest.
The crowd starts clapping.
We got a bunch of entrants this year,
(18:37):
so give it up for our first contestant.
Ozzy, you are cued to walk out onto the stage.
He walks on out.
I'm going to need you to give me a charm and perform
to do your best cosplay strut.
Great.
Well, let's do this.
I'll both of my cards.
Let's go.
Number one.
(18:58):
Okay.
And number two.
Ah, no successes.
All right.
Ozzy, you really do not know what you're supposed to be doing.
You get the idea that they're pointing you towards a stage,
but like, what do you do after that?
So you just walk on out,
and everybody just sees an ostrich with a hat
(19:19):
carrying a little child on his back.
You just want to look out like, what do I do now?
Yeah.
And the crowd is just like looking at you in dead silence.
All you can hear is the thumping of the music.
Darling, you're supposed to act.
It's a theater.
Do something.
Felicia, if you want to boost Ozzy's performance,
(19:40):
you can do a charm and perform
to kind of give him some tips on what to do on the stage.
No, I kinda wanna see him.
He got me into this.
I want to see him.
I want to see how he gets himself through this.
Okay, fair enough.
That's fair.
Ozzy, you stand there.
You see another stagehand fervently waving you over like,
(20:01):
come here, come on, get off the stage.
All right.
And he just walks off.
As you walk off, you hear very slow scattered applause.
Yay, for him?
All right, Felicia, you're up.
All righty.
So my plan is I want to come out
(20:21):
into doing some little tap dance routine
like the Mario Bros. theme.
What would I have to do for that one?
I'm assuming it'd be either charm or presence plus perform.
I know perform, absolutely,
but charm or presence is what I'm imagining.
Yeah, I'd say charm because it's a dance.
You're supposed to be charming when you dance, I guess.
Three plus another four for perform,
(20:43):
and then one because I'm healthy.
What do I got here?
Failure, failure, failure, failure, failure.
Oh my God, it's all failures.
I have three pairs in here.
I have two fours, two twos, and two sevens.
Good poker hand, but that's not what we're looking for.
I don't play poker.
I have no idea.
Well, Felicia, you are very used to walking out on stage
(21:06):
getting some good applause.
The crowd eagerly awaits what you're going to do
as you step out into the center stage.
And suddenly she remembers she's not getting paid for this.
You like start to do like one little tap
and you're just like, well, hold on.
This isn't right.
And you're just like, no, I don't want to do this anymore.
(21:30):
Internally, she's all like,
this isn't fair to those poor darlings
who worked so hard for this competition.
I'll just hope my beauty wins this.
And just walks right off stage.
Okay, great.
The MC's like, give it up for Peach, everybody.
And you hear very also like minimal applause.
God, why did I have to watch right there?
(21:52):
The stagehand standing next to you is like,
all right, you two.
You kind of blew the entrance part,
but there are a few more rounds.
So just hang in tight.
You might be able to win over the crowd yet.
Oh, God.
Let's just kind of skip over a bit
and let the MC get through the rest of the contestants
who you both failed.
So they all do better than you on their entrance.
(22:13):
The MC says, all right, everybody,
it's time for our contestants to come back out
and do their best group pose.
You hear clapping from the crowd
and some whooping and yelling.
Let's bring everybody out here
to do a group cosplay pose.
Come on out, everyone.
You are all both ushered out onto the stage
with the rest of the contestants.
(22:36):
And yeah, flip one more card for me each of you again
and just tell me what you get.
Joker.
Oh, good.
Ozzy, your cue was to just stand in place,
but somebody in the crowd is eating a corn dog.
You get a whiff of it,
and you fly into a bit of a rage.
(22:57):
In the direction of the crowd,
you're just like, I gotta get him.
I gotta get the Corn Dog Snatcher.
You leap into the crowd.
Let's go.
The crowd scatters,
scared that the contestant has jumped at them.
Where's that goddamn Corn Dog Snatcher?
Oh, my.
(23:18):
Ozzy, in the hubbub of the crowd
like running around you,
you see a security guard's coming toward you.
And just for, you know,
because he's always there,
it's that same security guard.
You.
He walks up to you and he says,
sir, you're gonna need to calm down.
You're gonna need to let me do my damn job.
(23:38):
Darling, please just leave this old palooka alone.
You don't know what he's done.
I was referring to you and talking to him.
Please, the adults are talking here.
And he just looks at his hands
and then immediately Johnny Cash's.
What hands?
Well, his wings.
Just what have I become
(24:00):
from Johnny Cash is playing at his head?
Carley on your back, though,
is sort of like,
hey, mean old Mr. Security Man,
leave my friends alone.
And the security guard looks at the kid
and is just like,
let the adults talk, honey.
Ozzy just got Johnny Cash going on his head.
(24:22):
I hurt myself today.
You can hear somebody playing that
in the convention for some reason.
Gosh.
You're looking around and you can't see it,
but you know what?
It's the corn dog and the cotton candy vendor
is playing on a guitar in the side,
playing Hurt by Johnny Cash.
Never doing convention work again.
(24:43):
Never again.
The security guard says,
all right, I've had enough of you two.
You two are going to have to get
out of this convention or
so help me, I'm going to throw you out.
You can't give me the bum rush.
I'm being paid to be here.
All right.
Him, on the other hand,
you can do whatever you want to.
But leave the girl.
All right.
I guess we're doing this.
You're taking us backstage right now.
(25:04):
All right.
The security guard looked at you.
Ozzy is just like,
I don't think that's going to happen.
Boys! At a moment's notice,
like two more security guards hop by his side.
They're taking out their batons.
They are going to thwump you.
Darling, now might be a good time
to get a wiggle on.
No wiggling in here.
(25:26):
I would like to retrieve
the little girl off his back
and then run away.
Okay.
She shouldn't be in combat.
Oh, it's fine.
Yeah, we're good.
All right, Ozzy.
You can fight if you want.
At least let me take her out of here.
I didn't exactly treat her
the nicest when she got here.
I need to make up for that
(25:47):
and be this smart, rational adult
and get her out of here.
All right.
Yeah.
Felicia, you take Carley off of Ozzy's back
and sort of bring her to the side
as Ozzy, the security guards,
raise their weapons at you.
But you do have initiative over all of them.
So you may make the first action.
All right.
Do I?
Also, big question.
If you're an ostrich,
why didn't you just run through them?
(26:08):
I'm not fast.
You're an ostrich.
That's true.
But Ozzy has one agility.
So he's actually- probably
because he keeps smoking so many cigarettes.
Oh, yeah.
And also, you know, where is he going to run?
Too many corn dogs.
Now, my question is,
did Ozzy bring his gun?
Flip one card.
(26:29):
All right.
What if this is going to be the Joker?
It's at five of clubs.
You don't have your gun.
All right.
We're snapping at him.
All right.
You like snap with the beak?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Brawn melee, please.
All right.
That is three cards.
So that's one, two, three.
One success.
Are you snapping at the main guy
or his goons that he summoned?
(26:50):
I'll go after one of the goons.
All right.
You just sort of chomp at them a little bit.
You get a little nibble on one of their arms
and they're just like, ow.
I need you to back off.
The lead security guard is going to get a turn
and gets two successes.
So two damages coming at you.
All right.
Well, that is, I guess I'm dodging two of them.
(27:11):
This guard takes out his beating stick
and swings it at you,
just narrowly missing your neck
as you swerve it out of the way.
The other security guards are going to get a quick turn
and they're just going to stand around
and do absolutely nothing
and just being like, yeah, get him, boss,
but make no attack of their own.
They got no successes.
Felicia, you are not in this fight
(27:31):
or would you like to join?
I feel like I should enter combat
even though I technically don't have to.
You don't have to.
You can be on the sidelines.
But I just want to know
because I'll give you an opportunity
to make an action even if you're not in combat.
It doesn't have to be like a fight action.
But if you want to join combat,
I just need to let you know
so you can get an initiative order.
Here's my options.
(27:52):
I either join combat
and leave this small child alone
and able to be kidnapped
or I don't enter combat
and I run the risk of Ozzy getting himself killed.
I don't think he's going to die to security guards.
I wouldn't do that on a first session.
Well, given that the Juggernaut
has been taken captive by security apparently
(28:12):
and we're not allowed to find out about that,
call me crazy.
I have a feeling losing
they might kill you
and act just like, oh no, they resisted,
you know, like police officers.
Yeah, we're fine.
I'm not exactly sure
if leaving this child alone is a good idea
or if stepping in and interacting is a good idea.
Well, Carley is looking like
(28:34):
she's like kind of like doing
like shadowboxing, being like,
yeah, get him Ozzy, get him.
So she is probably raring to fight
if you want to put her in.
I am not bringing a small child into combat.
You could.
All right.
I am not a murder hobo.
I'm not going to commit war crimes.
I am not bringing a child into combat.
You're not doing anything.
They're the ones punching her.
(28:55):
This child will likely follow me into combat
and mimic me.
I mean, we all know what happens
when kids see their favorite TV stars doing stuff.
They mimic it.
Oh, gosh, Wilbur.
Well, think about what Wilbur did.
So we got to think about that.
Carley's going to be the new Wilbur.
For those of you that don't know,
(29:15):
Wilbur met Wilbur Jr.
who was pretty much just a small worker.
They don't even know who Wilbur is.
We never explained the previous campaign.
Wilbur was Wolf's previous character.
Yeah, they watched the kid version of them die.
Yeah, very horrifically by an RPG.
(29:36):
Geez, Wilbur's a tragic character.
But anyway, yeah, sure.
Whatever you want to do.
I'm sad we didn't start doing this series
back when we were doing that.
So an audience could have built for that moment.
That's true.
But live and learn.
Someone lives.
It wasn't Wilbur Jr.
I can tell you that much.
What's the best way I can interact with combat
(29:57):
without having to set a bad idea for the kid
and not leave her alone?
You can defuse the situation.
Oh, yeah.
You can defuse the situation
is what I would recommend.
I tried to.
And then Wilbur- and then Ozzy started attacking.
Well, you can keep trying to defuse the situation.
He's already started fighting again.
(30:21):
He escalated it.
Then he took the first swing.
He ruined the cosplay contest,
which was going to be a cool set piece.
And I kind of railroaded it,
but this is great.
I'm happy about it.
I mean, Ozzy has a rant.
I know what Ozzy would say to Felicia in this moment.
(30:43):
Ozzy would probably look back.
You can say it to Felicia.
Talking is free in combat, basically.
He'd probably say this is none of your beeswax
and then go back to fighting.
No, he'd be like,
hey, I need you to distract them real quick.
I'm sorry.
He wants he starts this thing.
I tried to bring it to a stop before it started
and now he wants me to help him.
Draw their attention to you for something.
(31:04):
I don't know.
Do something flashy.
Felicia's good at doing flashy stuff.
You don't got to hit nobody.
Just do something.
This is my fight and I'll end it.
Fine.
To attempt to escalate at the least,
distract everyone.
I'm going to have her do some big dance routine
and out of nowhere, divine spotlights
(31:26):
are just making everything else darker
and shining their light on her
just to draw all the attention at her.
Yeah, that's what I want to do.
Charm and perform.
That's three, four, and then one.
Because you're still healthy.
Failure, failure, success.
Failure, failure, success, success.
Okay, that's four successes, four failures.
It's a 50-50 ratio.
(31:47):
All right.
But that's good.
Four successes is good.
Okay.
Yeah, Felicia, you just...
It suddenly goes dark in the convention hall
and magic spotlights appear over your head
and you go into an intensely choreographed
and beautiful dance routine.
Do you know what kind of music
would be in the background for this?
(32:08):
If you're blue and don't know where to go
Why don't you go where fashion sits?
Putting on the ritz.
Yeah, Felicia, you put the hell on the ritz.
All of these security guards are distracted
by Felicia's incredible song and dance.
So you have an attack of opportunity
if you want to attack
or if you want to do whatever.
(32:30):
Okay, so then this goes outside of my turn, right?
What's up?
So attack of opportunity means I can do this
and then I can do my attack, right?
Yeah.
Okay, what would be my original attack?
Got it.
Okay, so I'm going to use my telekinesis
to grab their baton and bring it to me.
Excellent.
Yep, that'll be, I think that's wit and telekinesis.
(32:50):
We didn't mention up until now
that Ozzy does have telekinetic powers.
He does.
Two, all right, so there's two successes
but I have to shuffle my deck again.
Do you want me to keep the two successes
out of the deck or just shuffle them back in?
Keep them out, like put them like
at the bottom of your discard pile now.
Gotcha.
Or like, yeah, they'll be the start
(33:11):
of the new discard pile.
Gotcha.
All right, so let's reshuffle.
Do you need to flip more cards
or was it two successes and that was it?
I only flipped two cards
and those were the two successes, yeah.
So it was, you said wit and telekinesis
so that is six, so I have to do four more.
All right, one, two, three, four, five, six.
(33:32):
So that is three successes.
All right.
Yep, Ozzy, as the security guards are,
I'll give you a choice.
Do you want to try and get all of their batons
or do you want to just like pull out one
and like ready yourself in attack position?
My main goal was to grab the one from the main guy
and then put it in my mouth and start swinging.
(33:53):
All right, excellent.
You do successfully pull the baton.
Actually, you pulled it out of his hand.
He's so distracted that he doesn't notice
that his weapon left his hand.
It is now in your mouth.
You are primed and ready for an attack,
which if you're gonna...
Yep, we're swinging.
That'll be brawn melee plus two.
So brawn melee plus two.
You know what?
(34:14):
Plus an additional one for the club.
Okay, so brawn, one, two, three.
So that'll be five.
Let's go two, three, four.
Two successes, but one of them is the queen of hearts.
All right, so three.
As the lead security guard is watching Felicia do her dance,
(34:34):
you conk him right on the back of the head
dealing three damage.
Back off.
This lead security guard,
as you hit him, almost immediately turns around
and instinctively trying to get you off of him with his stick,
but then realizes, wait a minute.
I don't have my beating stick in my hand.
You chose this.
He looks at you with the billy club in your hand,
(34:57):
in your mouth, rather.
He's like, give that back.
You didn't say anything.
Okay, good.
All right, let's see what the security guard is gonna do.
Cool.
So the security card Jokered to retaliate.
I'm gonna say he tries to swipe for the club in your mouth,
but in the process of doing so,
(35:19):
kind of leans forward a little bit too much
and sort of falls onto your body, Ozzy,
which means you are free to peck him a little bit,
which I'm assuming you would like to do so.
Absolutely.
All right, I won't make you flip for that.
You just do another point of damage.
It's like, ah, get off me.
The other security guards are gonna get a quick turn now.
Let's see if they do anything.
One point of damage is coming at you.
(35:42):
Yeah, taking it.
One of the security guards
just beats you on the side a little bit.
It doesn't loosen your grip from the main security guard,
but you take a whack.
Dick.
Felicia, you're still dancing.
Good.
Although it does seem like the other security guards
have broken distraction,
(36:03):
so you don't have to do that anymore.
Carley is kind of looking at Ozzy like,
wow, he's messing up those guys good,
ain't she, Miss Felicia?
Yes, they are.
Felicia, if you'd like to make an action,
you may do so again.
Combat or not combat.
They are not looking at you, by the way,
so if you did want to get in combat,
you can sneak up on them.
So I'll take my cartoon chalk
(36:24):
and draw a door with a sign saying
security guard assistance.
Okay, just to get them,
just maybe get one of them to notice it
and then knock themself out.
Charm and engineering.
That makes sense to me for like drawing something.
Just four cards,
(36:45):
because I have nothing in engineering.
It would be more like an artistic thing,
but I would say like,
there is no stat for the arts, sadly.
Yeah.
I mean, there's two blank spots.
We could have made one, hypothetically.
That's true.
It might fall under the umbrella of perform,
but I see this as you're trying to like,
you are trying to create something that's artificial.
I mean, I'm drawing something
(37:06):
that only I could interact with.
Right.
So it would just be like drawing a door
or drawing like a little cave.
Yep.
Just to do a Road Runner gag.
Anyways, let's see.
All failures and a Joker.
Excellent.
So what were you trying to do?
I was going to draw like a door on the wall,
(37:27):
like right crudely, right?
Like security assistance.
That way they'd be like,
oh, yes, there should be somebody to help me in there
and then run straight into it.
As you are drawing this on the wall,
the security guards turn towards you and just like,
hey, no drawing on convention property.
Felicia, they're running straight at you.
They're going to get an attack on you.
(37:48):
Oh God.
One of them Jokered.
They Jokered.
They Jokered and got no successes.
So Felicia, you weren't able to finish drawing
like the door on the wall before they spotted you.
So they just sort of tumble on the ground
as they like, try to approach you.
And then whatever drawing you did finish on the chalk
(38:09):
falls off of the wall and collapses onto them,
dealing a little bit of damage.
So congrats.
Cool.
Ozzy, these guys ran away from you,
tripped and got a little bit collapsed on,
but it is your turn.
We're running and hitting the main guy.
All right.
While he's down.
Excellent.
That's brawn melee plus two, no, brawn melee plus one.
(38:32):
Brawn melee plus one.
So that'll be one, two, three, three cards.
I'm no longer healthy.
Let's go.
I got one success.
You're healthy.
No, no, I just got hit for one.
Oh, you're right.
You're right.
Well, still one success.
Okay.
You just bonked this main guy on the noggin
a little bit.
Suffer.
You just say that out loud.
(38:54):
Suffer.
Swear to me.
Where are the other drugs going?
What about the business of that little girl?
Before you point to Carley.
Yeah, I point to her, where's her dad?
And then smack down.
The security guard looks up at you
and is just like, you two don't know
(39:15):
what you're messing with.
I've got a couple more whacks in me.
Fine.
You want to get backstage so bad?
Here.
He reaches into his pocket and hands you out
two backstage passes.
I gotta drop the filter.
I'm sorry.
(39:35):
We beat up the security and they're like,
here's your backstage passes.
Congrats, you win.
You beat the boss battle.
He's going to look down and just say,
now which one of us won?
You did.
Good man.
And you snatched the passes out of his hand
(39:57):
and the security guard just stumbles back to the ground
and is panting very heavily.
He's bleeding a little bit because of all the,
you know, beatings you gave him.
You have two passes to backstage.
Hey, we need one for the kid.
I'm gonna just do a quick flip.
Yeah, all right, fine.
He tends you another one.
Good.
(40:17):
Oh no.
All right, Carley walks up to you Ozzy.
That was great.
You, you whacked him hard.
I did.
If I would have had my gun, it would have been better.
And she turns to you Felicia.
And your song and dances.
That was awesome.
Thank you, darling.
Then let's find your papa.
Yeah, let's go.
And instinctively Carley walks up to your side Ozzy
(40:40):
to get back on you.
This is the thing now.
Yeah, she says excitedly.
You can say no.
You can tell the child, no, you can't ride me anymore.
He's gonna like kneel down and just say,
all right, one condition.
What's that?
Gives her a match, light it.
You got it.
(41:00):
Ozzy pulls out another cigarette.
You want one?
Darling, I don't smoke.
And then in that instance I wanna pull out my own,
like my, wanna pull out my character's,
like, cigarette holder.
Just pop that into her mouth.
Yeah, he looks at you like, I wasn't talking to you.
I just like, my jaw drops.
She now realized he was talking to the kid.
(41:22):
Now she's, now I'm just gonna like grab,
grab Carley off of his back.
And she's like, no, I suddenly realized you're not the ideal.
adult sort here.
Yeah, did she at least like the match though?
No, no, no, no, sorry.
She failed on a flip to like the match.
So no, I'm taking custody of this kid now.
(41:45):
And then he's gonna like look around like,
anyone got a light?
No, no one's gonna- and he sees that
everyone's just kind of forwarding him like that.
Everyone from the crowd did like kind of disperse
because it seems like the cosplay convention,
uh, cosplay contest just sort of broke up
after you jumped off the stage
and started beating on security.
But the cotton candy vendor does walk up to you and says,
(42:06):
I got a light.
And whips out his lighter and lights it for you.
I don't know why this guy like keeps following you around
and switching jobs, but that's what he does.
Thanks.
No problem.
He goes ahead and lights the cigarette
and then starts smoking.
The vendor looks at you and says,
well, see you never again, I bet.
And turns and walks away.
He still smells like corn dogs. And he walks off.
(42:30):
All right.
Wwell, you all now have backstage passes,
So would you- you noticed the backstage door
right next to the stage earlier.
So you head that way.
You show your backstage passes to the guard
and he steps aside to let you in.
And I think that is where we will leave it for now.
Next time on Live Laugh Loot.
(43:07):
It feels strange doing this
and not hearing A Flock of Seagulls sing us out.
That's true.
Which you won't if you're listening to this
because we kind of can't use that song.
Yeah.
You can in your head.
Since we're using Audacity,
we hypothetically could use the old playlist.
It just wouldn't because it wouldn't show up
in our little audio programs.
Yeah, no, I completely forgot to like
(43:29):
generate a new playlist as well
or even play the old one.
So I've been going with no music.
Like so far like the most I would pull up
is like the Heartbound OST
because they're pretty chill on that.
Yeah.
Even then.
I've often done the Mass Effect soundtrack
when we do, when we do sessions
because it's very like 80s spacey.
Has Putting on the Ritz
entered public domain?
Can we do that?
(43:50):
I don't think so.
Damn it.
Yeah, I think they can still like monetize it.
Yeah.
So at the end of every Space Kings session,
we have to assign something called Hero Points.
Both of you can get one Hero Point from me
because your characters are really cool
and so are you two.
(44:11):
Yeah, everyone's cool.
In a game of Space Kings,
every player would go around the table
and explain who they thought was their hero,
why what they did was heroic
and that player gets a Hero Point
for their character.
A Hero Point allows you to flip
two additional cards on any flip.
Now we only have two players
(44:31):
so of course they would award
their Hero Points to each other.
But Navi, what was something that Ozzy did today
that was hero, hero worthy?
He didn't, despite his presence,
he didn't immediately get rid of a kid.
No, he very much put up with her
to at least try and dump her on me.
So at the very least,
despite how Ozzy presented himself,
(44:53):
he managed to maintain some level of decency.
Yeah.
Ozzy, what was something that Felicia did today
that was that you liked
or that was heroic or what have you?
I love the big musical number.
I suggest more big musical numbers.
All the time.
In fact, let's break down the door
as we go in and start doing a musical.
Okay.
(45:14):
I'm sure we will not remember that for next time.
Nope.
All right.
Thanks for playing Space Kings with me.
Thanks for inviting us.
I love playing this game.
Yeah.
It was a good time.
It was fun.
It's good to be back.
Yeah.
Although if you're watching this,
it's good to start.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is the first episode,
(45:34):
we've never met before this stream.
What are you all talking about?
We were just matched up together
by some AI algorithm.
We found a dating app
and then said we all played tabletop games.
Yep.
And we're all like,
well, screw dating each other.
We're going to tabletop.
That sounds like a thing.
I am a trans-fem lesbian,
(45:56):
so I will put that on the record here.
Not my types.
I just love the,
hey, let's not date and instead tabletop.
That sounds like an innuendo 100%.
100%.
True.
I think an app for matching up
tabletop players would be fantastic.
Yeah, for sure.
(46:16):
Well, we'll see you all... next week,
every two weeks.
I don't know what our release schedule is going to be.
Same bat-time, same bat-channel.
Gosh.
Bye.
Bye, everybody.
Bye-bye.
(46:46):
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space Kings system,
developed and published by Supertry Studios.
You can learn more about this game or buy it yourself
at supertry.itch.io/spacekings.
Follow us on bluesky at livelaughloot.bsky.social,
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast@gmail.com.
(47:08):
Our intro music is Out of Control by Chill Carrier,
and our outro music is One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description to find out what other songs
played this episode or the check licensing information.
To learn more about this podcast or listen to more episodes,
check us out at livelaughloot.libsyn.com.
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