May 8, 2025 • 51 mins
After being knocked unconscious, Felicia and Ozzy are forced into an underground fighting ring to tango with the giant and rocky Juggernaut, and find themselves bone-crunchingly unmatched.
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LIVE LAUGH LOOT IS:
AyItsGreyJ (he/him) as GM
GamingNavi (she/they) as Felicia Fox
Wolfkaosaun (he/him) as Ozzy
MUSIC THIS EPISODE:
Marantz PMD221 Stereo Summing Test by HOME
Out of Control by Chill Carrier (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
Cold Eyes (Instrumental) by ROZKOL (licensed under CC BY 4.0)
One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then uh, don't watch the show.
Okay, bye!
Sorry, I have no idea what we're doing now.
Uh, you're blacked out, that's what happened.
Yeah, we actually have.
Oh, that worked out then!
If you want to look at it that way, then...
I'm looking at the positives.
Fair.
The positive is that we, for all the times this entire session,
(00:26):
we could have got sidetracked and forgot what was happening.
This is the best time.
Yeah.
Previously on Live Laugh Loot.
Backstage at the Entertain-a-Thon convention,
Ozzy and Felicia quickly established their dominance over the staff
by convincing everybody that they belonged there,
even as they failed to get any useful information about the Juggernaut's whereabouts.
(00:46):
But they eventually barged into the warehouse and got into a mild discussion about species
and stereotyping that only left one party member storming off
before the team got assaulted by a forklift driver
who was bested by the power of mental gymnastics and telekinetics.
With little Carley in tow, the gang headed down to investigate
a fight ring underneath the convention,
but almost immediately got caught by security and forced to surrender.
(01:11):
The two of them are knocked unconscious, waking up some time later.
(01:34):
Uh, well, you're not sure how much time passes,
but the two of you wake up out of your blacked out stupor.
You both have been outfitted with...
Just imagine kind of like the next step up from rags.
Well, you've been you've been stripped of basically anything important.
So Ozzy, you do not currently have access to either your hat or your club.
(01:57):
And Felicia, you don't really have anything physical on you at the moment,
as far as like items.
I saw my pocket. I could reach in and find something.
That's true.
Oh, you know what? They took your chalk?
Wait, no, I think we determined that that's not an item.
That's just something you can do.
Yeah.
So they didn't take that.
It's the one quote item I can pull out of my animation pocket, like without fail.
(02:20):
You are also in chains.
So your hands are chained together.
Not to each other, but uh...
For now.
Yeah, for now.
Yeah.
I'll be able to pull out when it's funny.
You wake up in a dingy room.
You don't see Carley.
Oh no.
Bird, wake up!
I'm awake.
That was kind of loud.
(02:41):
They took her.
They took the little girl.
I took...
I'm gonna spit.
Patoo.
Okay, you spit on the ground.
Trying to get my bearings to look around and see where we are and just...
No, since I've been a part of these like...
Not a part of, but like I've seen these fight arenas, so to speak.
Am I kind of familiar to the layout of where we're at right now?
(03:03):
Yeah, well you can still hear, although it's a little fainter now,
you can still hear that same crowd noise you heard earlier.
But Ozzy, you get the feeling, considering that you're chained up,
whoever is running this fight ring that is underground here
is gonna be putting you in the ring pretty soon.
(03:23):
Am I able to stand up?
Yes, your hands are bound.
Or for Ozzy, your wings or whatever we say...
Yeah, your wings are bound.
Yeah, I'm gonna stand up and stretch.
Maybe for Ozzy it looks a little more like a straight jacket,
but you can move around.
You do feel pretty weak from getting knocked in the...
Well, you got tazed.
(03:44):
Yeah.
And I got just bonked on the head
because I already forcibly put myself into a stop.
So you said every now and then you like to get in the fights, right?
Sure.
What if I told you that that's what we're gonna be doing here soon?
Aw, applesauce.
Oh, you don't swear, do you?
My corporate owners don't allow it.
Even on your off time?
Nope. I don't have off time.
(04:05):
This is the closest I've gotten,
and even then I'm still in company time.
I know the feeling.
A private dick like you?
Nah.
And he goes to like...
Instinctually he goes to like grab a cigarette and he's like,
oh, wait.
Yeah, Ozzy, they took your cigarettes too, yeah.
Those bitches.
Well, they do want your lungs to be good before you fight,
so I guess it makes sense.
They do pay a hefty dollar for this.
(04:27):
Hope that kid's all right.
So you do care?
Yeah.
He's gonna look around to see if there's anyone else in there with him.
Not just like, oh, hey, there's people watching,
but like, are there other fighters around?
There are not.
It just appears to be you two in this room.
Well, I'm not a fan of what you called me,
but I will say that I'm sorry that I got you in this mess.
I know you're from like a different time frame,
(04:49):
but could you please try not to call me a bird?
I'm from 2,000 years ago.
Just please.
But I don't look a day over 300.
Can we congrats, but seriously though,
I don't like the whole bird comment.
It's a little demeaning.
I spent a long time to get to where I am.
You know how many ostriches are in my field?
(05:10):
You think I like being demeaned like that as well?
I can't do what other cartoon characters do.
Well, I guess we got a lot to learn about each other.
This is such a nice sweet bonding moment
and nothing could possibly ruin it.
Oh, I'm waiting for the bad to happen.
After a while, probably just sitting in more awkward silence after,
not really resolving your conflicts, but at least trying.
(05:32):
I just imagine she's just sort of tapping her heels
while she's waiting at this point.
Yeah, eventually though, somebody entered this room
and it's just like, all right, you two follow me quietly.
It's the same guard who knocked you out, Felicia.
Oh, fun.
It's the same one I saw before too, right?
You saw them when you poked your head into the room,
but if you're referring to like the security guard
(05:52):
that you were talking with like when you first entered, then no.
Okay.
So the two of you are escorted through the hallways
and this guy opens up the door to the center room
where you hear the crowd.
You are led into a dimly lit room, except for the center,
which has a giant ring, a fighting ring.
(06:12):
You can see somebody is being carried away
from the ring in a stretcher.
He sort of like twitched around like, ah, ah, ah,
as he's being carried away.
You wouldn't have any hooch for us, would you?
I mean, if you got to high hat us,
might as well let us numb the pain, right?
Look, if you want my advice, if you want to avoid the pain,
you got to deliver some pain.
Like a delivery man.
(06:33):
Shut up, you.
She breaks out of the cuffs just so she can facepalm.
You are led up to the side of the ring.
You just sort of are told to like kind of stay put for now.
The crowd is sort of, yeah, let's go.
Next fight, next fight.
You see an emcee walk up into the center of the ring
was like, well, ladies and gentlemen,
(06:54):
hope you enjoy that brawl.
I'm sure our next competitors are going to be
just as excited to get into this ring as everyone else has.
Let's bring up our next fighters.
And you hear the crowd chant loudly and loudly
as Felicia and Ozzy, you are led up into the ring.
(07:15):
And I didn't mention this,
but this ring has got like a cage.
So this is like cage match style.
You are unshackled as the cage door closes behind you.
The emcee continues and says,
These two fine competitors are going against our big champion today.
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you your champion.
(07:40):
And on the other side of the ring is the crowd is roaring loudly
and like stuff's getting thrown around.
Like you see like loose money is flying in the air
as people are putting bets down like haphazardly.
It's a wild scene as on the other side of the ring,
a giant Stoneguard enters the ring.
Although he is not wearing the garb that you saw him in on the poster,
(08:03):
you do recognize this person as the Juggernaut.
Oh look, the Juggernaut fellow.
I remember seeing posts of him back at the convention.
So this Juggernaut is a towering beast.
He's like 12 foot tall, looks heavy as hell.
Like just imagine a bunch of boulders put together as his body
and then smaller boulders for his arms and legs.
(08:25):
He is towering over the two of you.
Damn right he is.
My character's like four feet tall.
And I'm not sure exactly how tall ostriches are,
but I don't believe they get as tall as humans in their normal pose.
They're about six feet tall on average, I think.
Okay.
If not taller, definitely not 12 feet tall.
I'll say that much.
Actually, ostriches can grow anywhere between 6.9 feet to 9 feet.
(08:49):
Oh dang.
Okay.
Damn.
That wasn't that far off when I said six feet initially.
Yeah.
This person is taller than you, Ozzy.
Let's put it that way by a sizable margin.
How tall is Ozzy then?
Let's go with eight feet because that sounds terrifying.
Okay.
I have been assuming that Ozzy is more or less regular human size.
So by this logic, Felicia were to stand on Ozzy's head.
(09:10):
They would be just as tall as the Juggernaut.
That, yeah.
Not as wide, but yeah.
Yeah, but you would still be four feet tall.
He's eight feet tall.
That would solve the height difference.
Although I'll be honest, Ozzy would probably just try to be like,
okay, let's get on each other's shoulders and try to get on your shoulders.
She'd let it happen too because she'd think it would be funny,
(09:32):
so she'd let it happen.
That sounds like a scenario for gags.
Best part, she'd just let him do it and then he'd just try to death stare him in the face.
There's like dead ostrich stare.
Oh no.
No, if that would have happened, something would have happened.
Anyway.
You don't do that necessarily, but I mean, you could.
But don't do that yet.
So you are about to fight, but I will let you do a brawn and spacewise
(10:00):
in order to do like, the spotlight will shine down on you.
You can do a pose to kind of like get the crowd roared up in your direction.
But we're still bound with our hands behind our backs.
Well, at least mine is.
You have been unshackled when you were put in the cage match.
So your hands are free.
Oh, okay.
So again, brawn and spacewise as the first flip, please.
(10:23):
Both of you.
Two successes.
She's going to do a little tap dance into the ring.
Well, it was two successes, so that's a pretty good tap dance.
The crowd who maybe is more used to like brutal fight techniques
is maybe like initially puzzled like, why is she tap dancing?
But you do it pretty successfully and yeah, do a little like.
(10:44):
Yeah, and she does like a pose, arms out,
waiting for the applause because that's what she's used to.
You get some pretty solid applause
and you hear like one person going like, yeah, Felicia Fox.
I can imagine like a bunch of cartoon roses falling in front of her as she does.
Yep.
Yeah, not a full bouquet.
It wasn't that good, but you get a rose.
(11:05):
But no, it's not even from the crowd.
It's just it happens when she does stuff because she's a toon.
Yeah.
What about you, Ozzy?
Ozzy got two successes.
Cool.
So what's your intro move?
Okay, so we're in this pit, just us, correct?
Yep.
Just a giant underground fighting ring.
You're in a, it's cage match style too.
So you're locked in.
(11:25):
I love how casually you say that.
Like this isn't the strangest thing ever.
Ozzy's been in a lot of weird stuff.
Okay.
And what does he the Juggernaut only has his fists, right?
Like is he wearing a helmet like the Juggernaut or what exactly is his attire?
He is basically wearing kind of an old style wrestler, like leotard,
(11:49):
like strongman style, like from the 1900s.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to use my actually, no, I can't do that yet.
Yeah.
What's your, what's your opening?
Like you got like a spotlight on you to get the crowd on your side or what have you.
Oh, I am biting his face.
Okay.
I'm not looking for a combat move.
I'm just sort of looking for you to like do an intro pose.
(12:10):
So if you want to like bite the air to kind of intimidate them that I'll let you do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So Felicia, you did a tap dance, which got the crowd on your side.
Ozzy, you just bite in the air like the ostrich you are, which-
Like a rabid beast.
Yeah, like probably to sell it a little more.
You flap your flap your wings a bit and screech.
(12:31):
I'm imagining like, you know how those ducks like go up to like peas and stuff
and just like gobble all the peas really quickly.
Yes.
I'm imagining him just doing that in the air,
but with giant, you know, ostrich lips and teeth and whatever.
Do ostrich have teeth?
I don't know.
Some birds do.
I'm not sure about ostriches.
I know penguins do.
(12:53):
Ostriches do not have teeth.
Okay.
Wait, penguins have teeth?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's awful.
I never knew that and I hate that information now.
Oh, it's bad.
Like I knew there's a certain breed of penguin.
They're like disgustingly horny old fuckers.
But like I didn't know they had teeth.
I don't know if it's all penguins, but I know some do.
Anyway, Ozzy, you, yeah, just sort of bite into the air a bit and maybe do a little hiss,
(13:16):
which I know is more swan, but you know, whatever.
Maybe that's like establishing your heel status in this fight,
which I think this underground fight club would love.
I do have bad news for you though.
The Juggernaut also flipped for an intro and got four successes, one of which is a crit.
So the Juggernaut sort of just looks at you, does not say a word,
(13:36):
and immediately slams his fist into the ring
Both of you feel like, almost feel like you want to trip to the ground.
And in a single moment, the crowd just goes silent for a second,
then roars into applause because they know the Juggernaut's here to not fuck around.
Why am I doing this?
All right, we will now officially start combat.
(13:58):
Felicia, you have initiative.
I straight up want to start off combat by just like
acknowledging that we were in contact with his daughter right before this.
Do I need to roll anything?
Do I need to drop that or like?
As in you're gonna like tell him straight up?
Yes, because I want him to,
despite building a brawler character,
I still want to try and find a way to handle this,
you know, without getting her beautiful face punched in
(14:20):
only for it to be fixed five seconds later.
Yeah, I'm gonna say you do like take a step forward to kind of like approach
and then you see in the Juggernaut,
the Juggernaut immediately fixes his gaze on you.
You immediately just with your...
How much intelligence did you have?
Oh, you have one intelligence.
This person is not in the right mindset to be persuaded down verbally.
(14:43):
You're gonna have to choose another tactic.
So there's no point trying to talk this one out.
Not at the moment.
I have a stupid idea and it's guaranteed to fail
even if I get successes by the same vein.
I kind of just want to cartoon like, you know, scuttle over
just hand out be like, hello, mister.
(15:03):
I hope I hope we can have a jolly fair fight
or something like that.
Okay, so your opening gambit is to give a cool handshake
and be like, you know, let's have a clean fight.
I'll think of something more creative.
If I could get a success like, can I do that?
You can certainly try.
I think that would be charm and persuasion.
(15:26):
Okay, I do not have any persuasion.
I do have charm.
I have perform not persuasion.
So yeah, you're not trying to like act out a handshake.
You're trying to literally have to try to do it.
The only success I got was an ace of diamonds.
Okay, so one success.
Well, you do like extend your hand out
and be like, you know, hello, fellow.
Hello, you big palooka.
(15:47):
I do hope we have a fun, fair match.
Yeah, the Juggernaut just sort of looks down at you,
Felicia, as you like walk up and extend your stand
and be like, hello, and just starts growling
like a King Kong style growl like, and you immediately like,
I should back up.
This is a small cartoon fox walk up in a proper match.
(16:07):
So I hope we have a good fair match.
He's like, I'm gonna back up.
This is uncomfortable.
Maybe what happened is like he almost leaned down
a little bit and just, but the force of his breath
is enough to kind of like blow wind
past your hair, Felicia.
So you got a cartoony like wave effect
and when he's done, your fur looks like it's like
(16:29):
puffed up and you're like, so I guess that was your turn.
Yep, hell of a start.
Well, Ozzy, you are actually next.
I know you typically have low initiative,
but the Juggernaut's is lower.
Sick, I'm gonna use telepathy
and try to mess with his brain.
That will be wit and te-le-pa-thy... or telepathy
(16:51):
as it should be called.
Yes, all right.
So we got like one success out of all that.
All right.
You know what, screw it.
I'm using my Hero Point.
Go for it.
So that was useless.
Which a Hero Point gives you two more, so.
Oh, it gives you two more.
Okay.
Two cards.
Yeah, Hero Points give you two additional cards,
but you can only use one per flip.
(17:11):
Man, eight cards and only one success.
Ozzy, I think you're maybe a little bit intimidated
by this Juggernaut,
but you do try and focus your mental energy
and sort of like poke around telepathically
and you're like, hello, Juggernaut?
Are you in there?
Juggernaut, Juggernaut, Juggernaut.
You do manage to notice just with your practice
(17:34):
and telepathy, which by the way,
did you do an additional card for your eclectic?
Because you do have a-
No, I did not.
Now I have two successes.
Excellent.
Yeah, you focus a little harder on the Juggernaut
and you do notice that it seems like
the Juggernaut has some kind of
psychic telepathic wall that's blocking his brain.
You notice that you can't get into his actual brain wavelength.
(17:56):
Something is disrupting that.
That's all the information you can get from that now.
But it does seem like more telepathy flips
might be able to curb that.
So let's see what the Juggernaut does.
All right, he only got one success.
He probably would target Felicia
because she is the only one who appears
to have made a move towards him.
(18:17):
So Felicia, he's going to kind of leap
into the air a little bit towards you
and just sort of slam down near you.
So I'm assuming you're going to dodge.
I don't have a complicated dodge.
Can I dodge by turning into a puddle
or making him think he landed the hit?
Yeah.
So I'm squashing myself?
Yeah, I think you can do that.
(18:37):
But it will take off one dodge point just in general
because one point of damage was coming at you.
Yeah, okay, I'll take it.
Again, I want to stay in the cartoon character vibe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
I kind of look like that Squidward meme.
Just, you know.
You know what I'm thinking of, right?
Yeah.
So I will change it then
The Juggernaut does try to do a butt slam on you
and you do manage to kind of puddle yourself instantly
(19:01):
which does block the damage.
The Juggernaut sits up and looks down
and sees a Felicia puddle with two butt marks.
But you are unharmed,
which means Felicia, it's back up to you.
My turn.
I want to like pick myself up.
I want to reach inside my cartoon pocket
and I want to pull out like a hammer.
Sure thing.
That'll be, I forget what we do for your cartoon pocket.
(19:23):
I think that would be wit and... if it's a hammer.
Well, it's like, you know, it's a mallet.
You're like Tom and Jerry.
Oh, you know what?
Duh, melee.
Yeah, I have melee.
Yeah, so wit and melee.
Let's see.
Okay, two successes.
Yeah, I'm gonna say you pull out,
I think two successes is enough to pull out a sledgehammer.
Not like a super duper heavy like railroad spike sledgehammer,
(19:45):
but one that you can comfortably wield.
It still looks cartoonishly like, you know,
bigger than it really is.
Yep, Ozzy.
Now, I can tell the mask would be basically, you know,
tied together, right?
Mask as in-
Not mask, the Luchador thing, yeah.
Do you mean the leotard?
(20:06):
Leotard, yes.
Am I even thinking- what is a leotard?
Am I stupid?
Let me send you a-
It's a one-piece suit.
Oh, okay.
I don't know why I was thinking the leotard was like-
There's headgear, which is, you know,
like that rubbery padded stuff, but-
No, this is an underground fight ring.
There is absolutely no protective headgear of any kind.
(20:27):
This is not like a overseen by UFC kind of fight.
This is literally put two people in a ring
and have them kill each other.
You need to start taking notes.
That way, next thing we know, when we get out of here,
we can fucking bring this whole place down
by the unstoppable power of OSHA.
Space OSHA.
Speaking of Space OSHA,
I'm gonna use telekinesis to try and mess with his brain.
(20:49):
Telepathy, you mean?
Yeah, that.
Sure thing, wit and telepathy.
All right.
I mean, telekinesis would mess with his brain,
but that's like if you want to like
move the brain physically out of its socket.
No.
I thought about it for a second but I get it now.
Which, I mean, that'd also be pretty cool, but-
So that is two successes.
Okay.
Yeah, you do manage to focus your mind again.
(21:10):
You try and decode some of the psychic defenses
that you noticed earlier.
If you can imagine it as sort of like movie-style hacking,
but it's brains instead of computers.
Ozzy's just a hacker man.
Yeah, that's sort of what's happening.
You are brain hacker man.
You do manage to break down some of the psychic defense,
but I won't tell you exactly how much you've broken in.
(21:32):
As it's happening, you just go,
all right, let's see, I'm gonna make you cry.
Damn.
Felicia, all you have seen is Ozzy just sort of like
concentrating like, and then out loud he says,
I'm gonna make you cry.
She's just perpetually confused by what he's talking about.
No further context.
(21:52):
All right.
Yeah.
Juggernaut's up.
Felicia, two more damages coming your way.
Again, you can dodge.
Yep.
I have one dodge left.
All right.
The Juggernaut, I think he's gonna do like
the Donkey Kong in Smash style
where he's gonna like pound the ground a little bit.
You do manage to jump out of the way.
Thank goodness I didn't get Banana Slama'd.
No, you did not get Banana Slama'd,
(22:13):
but as he's doing that,
you all of a sudden hear fabric ripping
because it looks like the Juggernaut
has split his leotard because he got a Joker.
He turns around just trying to be like,
what the heck was that?
And yeah, you just see a big old rock butt
just peeking out.
The Juggernaut just is like,
(22:35):
he seems distressed.
This would be a great time for somebody
to try and penetrate his psychic mind a little more
because he seems to be distracted by the fact
that his leotard just ripped.
I believe in you, Felicia.
Darling, I'm an actress, not a psychic.
Those street level carnies
are nothing compared to the glory
(22:55):
that is my performance, darling.
You act like a psychic.
I don't have psychic powers.
She starts reaching her magic pocket,
pulls out like a googly-eyed third eye,
and he puts it on her forehead
in a jewel necklace and is like,
look, I'm psychic now.
Are you happy, you filthy bird?
Uh-oh.
(23:16):
Hey, he's just, she's disrespecting
her art style of acting
to that pedantic psychic stuff on the streets.
Oh, to be fair, I am not.
Ozzy's too focused on wanting to
not going to tell you what he's wanting to do.
So he didn't register that.
Oh yeah, no, he has a game plan.
He is absolutely going to kick me
once the fight's over, though.
(23:37):
He's going to catch up like,
hey, wait a minute.
I imagine being like Hulk and Thor
in the Avengers movie.
Pfft.
Well, Felicia, it is your turn.
You have a sledgehammer.
So I want to just sort of bonk him on the head now.
That'll break his psychic concentration, right?
(23:59):
Well, that'll be brawn melee plus two for your hammer.
All right, so that's four because of my brawn,
two because of my melee,
two because of my hammer,
and one because I'm healthy.
Should be three because of your brawn.
Oh, okay.
Because that's another one of the
workout things you get,
but you don't have that this turn.
Okay, because I have four.
You would have four because another thing with workout
(24:20):
is you can increase your brawn to four.
Normally it's three.
Okay.
But you didn't choose that this session.
Okay, gotcha.
Okay, three successes,
one of them being the Queen of Hearts.
Nice, so that's six successes.
Yeah, damn, Felicia,
it does help that the Juggernaut
is kind of distracted with his wardrobe malfunction,
but as soon as he kind of gets in your line of sight,
(24:42):
what kind of swing do you think
Felicia would do in this situation
if you're trying to hit the Juggernaut?
There's like a moment from Homestuck that I'm thinking of
where the main character Egbert,
he's got this pogo hammer,
and it sort of starts bouncing around
so he basically does like a triple flip in the air
to sort of smacks the opponent.
Okay.
Jumps up like Sonic the Hedgehog
spinning around and then sort of wham!
(25:02):
For sure.
I was gonna say like you
might even like bounce off the ropes,
but this is not a wrestling ring.
This is a cage match.
Yeah, there's no ropes to bounce off of.
The point is you do some
really amazing cartoony acrobatics
jump into the air and bring your hammer down
on the Juggernaut dealing quite a bit of damage.
Uh, the Juggernaut does have physical armor,
(25:23):
but I mean you got six successes.
Uh, I'm gonna say like a little bit of rock chunk spews off,
which I guess would be the equivalent of losing flesh.
It's kind of gross when you think about it.
But you got a great hit in Felicia,
and the Juggernaut is like,
ahhhh!
He's now dazed.
Do your thing, ostrich.
Yeah, Ozzy, you are up.
All right.
(25:44):
We're gonna do, uh, telekinesis again,
because I'm going to break his walls on the inside.
Yeah, same thing, uh, wit and telepathy.
All right.
Six cards, baby.
That is three successes.
Oh, wait, no.
Yeah, three successes.
I thought one was the queen of hearts first, the diamond.
No, but still, I mean three successes, that's great.
Um, you go back into psychic hacker man mode.
(26:06):
You are just kind of like
disconnecting telepathic neurons left and right.
It seems like you are getting pretty close
to the root of whatever's causing
this telepathic mind shield to appear.
You haven't quite cracked it yet,
but you can feel like a lot of the Juggernaut's
actual thought process starting to return.
But it is the Juggernaut's turn.
So it's like, oh God, he Jokered again.
(26:28):
Let's go.
Now he's butt naked.
Yeah.
Uh, do I want to make the Juggernaut butt naked?
Yeah, you know what?
I'm going to say he gets up from his dazed hit
after Felicia smacked him in the head real hard
and is going to be like, get fox lady.
(26:49):
But in the process of standing up,
I guess maybe he was like backed up against the steel cage.
The steel cage catches the rest of his leotard
and as he walks forward, it just completely rips off.
So we now have a naked and very shamed rock person,
giant rock person in the middle of the ring who's just like, uh oh.
So he is going to take his turn to cover himself up,
(27:11):
which does mean that he is distracted.
So Felicia, I will give you a bit of an advantage this turn.
Okay, I want to finally take this moment
to try and mention like, hey, yeah, we came here with your daughter.
Because like if he's slowly getting his thought process back,
that should help snap him back into reality.
Yeah, I think you can do that now.
Like, wait, oh shit, right.
I'm a dad.
I left my kid alone and unattended.
(27:33):
Oh, fuck, the government are going to take the kids.
I'm going to lose them.
Oh, no.
I think you can try that now.
I think that would be charm and persuasion,
plus one because he is kind of like mentally distracted by everything.
Well, that's a good bonus for me because remember I have no persuasion.
Not only did I not get any successes, I got a Joker.
(27:55):
Ouch.
You have the anti-Joker.
Oh, I do?
We never discussed who had the anti-Joker, but yeah.
That's true.
I actually have it that Ozzy has the anti-Joker.
But do you have the anti-Joker than Ozzy?
Of course.
Yeah, no, we're not.
This man is butt naked.
We are going to use this to our advantage.
Dang it.
Okay, but still zero successes.
(28:16):
So Felicia, you do try to say like,
hey, your daughter is looking for you.
We can take you to her.
But that's going to come across so bad.
It doesn't even look like the Juggernaut is listening to you right now.
So that fell on deaf ears.
Ozzy, what are your charm persuasion stats?
Like probably nothing in charm,
but you've got to have some decent persuasion, right?
(28:36):
Yeah, he has no charm, but persuasion is also pretty all right.
Maybe you can try.
Oh, no, we're doing telekinesis.
I'm destroying this man from the inside out.
Well, wit and telepathy.
Oh, right.
You keep saying telekinesis, but I know what you mean.
Yeah, I don't know why.
I mean, you can use telekinesis if you want to throw the Juggernaut
around the arena with your brain.
But like, it doesn't seem like the thing to do with the moment.
(28:59):
No, we only got two successes, though.
Thankfully, that is enough to dig through the rest of that telepathic armor.
I'm going to say that you now just kind of have like a back door
into the actual Juggernaut's brain.
You can hear a lot of his thoughts being like,
what's going on?
What's happening?
Where am I?
If you want to say something telepathically to the Juggernaut now,
you have an opportunity.
(29:19):
All right.
I believe in you.
Ozzy is going to say, do you know how many you've killed
with your cold, hard hands?
That's it.
You had an opportunity to bring up why we came here
because of his daughter.
Instead, you're just like,
I'm going to remind you that you killed people.
Told you I'm breaking from the inside out.
(29:40):
Oh, my God.
You're going to break this man by making him think
he's going to lose the kids.
Well, not necessarily.
Damn, I am kind of stumped at how the Juggernaut
will respond to this.
Gosh, just coming to them being told you've killed people.
I think the only thing the Juggernaut would say was like,
what are you talking?
Who are you?
I'm the Juggernaut.
(30:01):
No, you're not, bitch.
I'm kidding.
He's not going to say that.
Okay.
I'd be amazing mind games.
It would be, but that's too much like X-Men
and Ozzy doesn't watch TV.
That's true.
I'm the Juggernaut, bitch.
I'm going to say, I'm the you that did all those things.
What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure this man knows he's not an ostrich.
(30:23):
I mean, I'm not, he doesn't, I'm not talking to him.
I'm just speaking in his mind.
That's a good, that's a fair point.
Oh, you're using telepathy.
I forgot.
This is all telepathic.
So Felicia, you don't hear any of this.
Oh yeah.
So she's just sort of staring at him.
Are you my conscience?
I'm your sins.
Damn.
We'll leave that for now because the Juggernaut
(30:44):
in the real world is going to take a turn.
You see the Juggernaut punches a hole in the cage
and just sort of like reaches around under the ring
and just grabs like a banner, wraps it around himself
to give himself a- to protect his genitals.
So don't worry, he is clothed again.
Man, dumb.
(31:06):
And then is going to attack Ozzy.
Two points of damage are coming at you.
All right, well I'm going to use my dodge.
Sweet.
Oh, my dodge.
Nice, but you do dodge out of the way
as this guy comes in for a uppercut right on you.
But misses.
You do notice though, Ozzy, this,
the Juggernaut seems to be a little more rage filled now.
It seems like whatever you did to break the telepathic barrier
(31:28):
might've caused the neurons in the Juggernaut's head
to go a little haywire.
That's fine.
Uh, Felicia.
Can I try and pull out a picture
of his daughter from my cartoon pocket?
Because if I can't explain it through words,
I need to perform at this point.
I need to try, you know,
make the message clear without using words.
I'm an actress, damn it, darling.
I need to show my talent.
(31:50):
I think that would be wit and empathy
to pull out a picture.
I...
Empathy.
Oh, yeah, because it's...
Yeah.
Oh, that's a stat.
Yeah, Wilbur had that.
Well, I don't have wit nor do I have empathy.
That doesn't solve anything.
Well, good luck.
I'll take using wit.
Well, you're trying to, like,
establish a family relationship.
What else would you use?
(32:11):
Well, I'm trying to find a way to convey my message
without words now.
Well, again, if you want to, like,
fish out a picture of him, again,
that's a pretty empathetic move.
I mean, if you want to, like, draw something,
because I know you're itching to use perform,
I will let you do, like, wit and perform
to, like, draw a picture of Carla.
Yeah, okay, I'll do that.
Two successes.
(32:31):
All right.
You draw a pretty alright drawing of Carla
that looks kind of accurate.
If you sell it enough,
you can maybe get the point across,
but that'll have to be on a separate turn.
We're going back down to Ozzy.
Ozzy, you have a telepathic link to the Juggernaut.
You can continue talking to him
or do a physical move,
whichever you want to do.
(32:52):
Oh, telepathic move, baby.
All right.
What are you going to say to him?
You know your daughter has watched you
bring pain and suffering to others, right?
You need to atone for your sins.
That's got to be presence and telepathy.
Great presence.
Do I have presence?
I'd have some.
One, two, okay.
(33:13):
Okay.
One success.
You relay this message
that the Juggernaut is responsible
for pain and suffering.
For his daughter.
For his daughter?
So what were you saying again?
Like...
Yeah, I was like,
you know your daughter's watching this happen.
Which you don't,
which you don't know.
I don't know.
I don't need to know.
I guess so.
But that's also technically...
(33:33):
Because I believe it.
That's technically a lie.
I mean, do you want me to throw lying in there?
I mean, you already did flip to tell him something.
So if you can tell him something
that is not an outright fabrication,
which I guess like you've caused pain
and suffering is technically true.
Yeah, yeah.
As long as you just don't say outright,
hey, your daughter's watching this
and like she's sad or whatever.
(33:53):
Because you don't know that.
I don't, but we're going to find out soon.
Also, you don't know that.
You're not wrong.
All right, well anyway,
you say your words of encouragement
to the Juggernaut telepathically.
One success you said?
Yeah, just one.
I don't know who you are
or what you're trying to accomplish here.
This is what you hear telepathically.
(34:13):
I'm just trying to do the job I was given, okay?
I don't know what you think you're trying to accomplish
by messing with my mind,
but this isn't the way to go about it, bro.
You're not the only one who's trying to finish a job.
And what do you mean by that, sir?
I'm going to be silent right now.
Excellent.
So yeah, just leave him hanging.
(34:34):
Yep.
Cool.
No, you don't get no answers.
Cool.
Well, I guess that'll be your turn.
Yep.
All right, Juggernaut's going to do a big old move.
Ozzy, two damages coming at you.
We're getting punched.
Yeah.
Well, I am now injured.
Ruh-roh.
That's fine.
The Juggernaut does a grapple move on you,
so very like Mike Haggar style.
(34:54):
Yeah.
Sort of like picks you up,
tosses you down onto the floor.
You definitely felt that one.
I'm also going to say like the audience is like,
yeah, finally something happened,
because a lot of this has just been you two walking around
not doing anything while the Juggernaut swings,
misses, and loses his clothes.
Start off like, yeah, this is great.
Why is he naked?
(35:14):
Felicia whacked him real good with a hammer,
but that feels like it was hours ago.
I'm just imagining as like Ozzy gets picked up into the air,
he's like necks flailing around back and forth.
Ozzy needs to see her after this.
Well, Felicia, you're up.
So has he noticed the drawing of Carley I made yet,
or is he still focused on the ostrich?
(35:35):
Yeah, just focused on the ostrich.
You also haven't shown it to him yet.
So I want to start like trying to get his attention
to like notice the drawing.
Charm and empathy.
Okay, so no empathy so just four cards then.
All right.
Yeah.
I got one success, a jack of diamonds.
All right.
As the Juggernaut's standing up from slamming Ozzy into the ground,
you hold the drawing of Carla in his line of sight.
(36:00):
You're just like, look, this is your daughter, daughter.
You giant fool.
Look, this.
This is what I've been trying to talk to you about.
Look at this.
Does this make sense to you?
That's the first time he's talked in a while.
Ozzy, your neck feels a little scratched up, yeah.
The Juggernaut sort of leans in to look at your picture
(36:20):
and you just want to hear like a
growl from him.
But he does not seem any more or less emotionally swayed
than he was before, but you have got his attention
and that brings it to Ozzy.
So Ozzy, you just got slammed into the floor.
That kind of hurt, but you're okay for now.
(36:41):
Okay, fuck you.
And we're going to do telepathy again.
And this time we're going to lie.
What's your lie going to be?
I want to hear this first.
Every life you've taken in this ring, she's watched.
Damn.
How are you going to be able to look at her in the eye
after what you did to these poor souls?
(37:02):
Damn.
God damn.
Presence and lying, please.
Okay, one, two.
Because I'm going to say like you already established
a telepathic connection.
You really don't need to do any telepathic flips
at the moment, but you need to sell this lie.
I might use drive if it helps him.
If he needs it, that is.
Ozzy, you can definitely use drive as well.
You've got, how many drive points do you got?
(37:22):
I forget we have drive sometimes.
I used mine earlier.
You used the Hero Point,
which is basically like a super drive.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I have three successes.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm getting kind of worried
because I have no Jokers
and also the Queen of Hearts hasn't been used yet.
So I think I'm going to stick with the three wins.
Three successes, that's a pretty good lie.
And I think also bolstered by the fact
(37:44):
that the Juggernaut in the physical world
is looking at a picture of his daughter
trying to like reconcile, like who dat?
That probably also helps you out a bit
because he's able to physically see the person
that according to you, he has harmed
by killing people in the ring, which also a lie.
To be fair, I don't know that.
That's true.
That's, hence the lie part of it.
(38:04):
But Ozzy, you do hear sort of telepathically
like she looks familiar.
Who is that?
I've, I've heard her.
Who is she?
You've been so blinded by your bloodlust
that you can't even remember the face of your own daughter.
What a disgrace.
(38:25):
God damn.
I guess you were going to like kill this guy emotionally.
Oh yeah, that was the whole point.
Yeah.
He's just going to go up to his conduct
and be like, I killed him.
He's still alive.
I killed his emotions.
Oh yeah, no.
Like I knew I wasn't going to beat him in a fight.
So I'm like, I'm going to destroy you mentally.
God damn.
Is that your thought process when you took the hit?
Yeah, I have a feeling that this is very like concussion style.
(38:47):
Oh, my brain doesn't work.
So I'm going to make you feel like a shithead.
That's fine.
I mean, well, I mean, to be fair, you got three successes.
So whatever you're doing, it's working.
It's going to go so downhill so fast.
This is just a DM thing.
You feel a ping of shame.
You've probably felt that many times before on your cases.
(39:08):
Feeling of a job well done.
Wow.
I feel like you're probably lucky that Felicia can't hear any of this.
Yeah, definitely.
Well, the Juggernaut is going to get a turn.
He is kind of like emotionally distracted because of Ozzy's pretty good telepathy flip.
But let's see what he does.
(39:28):
All right.
Well, he got another Joker, but I'm not going to make him lose his clothes again.
He's still looking at the picture and you just hear Carla.
Carla in danger.
Juggernaut is going to fly into a bit of a rage now.
Ozzy, your telepathic connection with the Juggernaut is shattered.
(39:52):
Yeah, Juggernaut is going to deal three damage to everybody in the ring right now.
All right.
Well, I'm knocked out.
Me as well.
Yep.
Oh, boy.
So the good news is that just gets rid of all my dodge.
Anything after this point will actually hurt now.
I think, unless I did my math wrong at some point.
I want to see you had one dodge remaining.
(40:14):
Okay, then I'll go with that.
I trust your math better than I trust mine.
So that means I lose two health.
I'm not injured.
I have that going for me.
Well, Ozzy.
Yeah, Ozzy like looks at him and like the moment he sees like a fist coming
in his way, you just hear under Ozzy's breath like,
fuck, and boom, he's knocked out.
Yeah, both of you just take a wild haymaker to the face.
(40:39):
Felicia, even though this hurts, you do kind of like take it on the cheek
and you're like, oh, darling, darling, limp ostrich in the middle.
Yeah, Ozzy.
You just sort of fly backwards and get a spot of like a Mel Blanc scream.
Like, oh, I'm going to back up away from them.
Like, yeah, yeah, go for it.
There we go.
(41:00):
Ozzy, you get knocked back into the cage wall.
You fall unconscious.
Your body limps down and your neck almost like uncoiled like a snake.
And your tongue sticking out.
Sleepy time.
I kind of imagine he sort of like flopped the cord like NES Punch-Out.
And Mario comes in and is like, one, two, three.
That doesn't happen.
(41:21):
This isn't real.
I was going to say, I don't get to see Mario.
This is the worst work day ever.
First I have to go to a convention and I have to kill somebody to get tickets
and then now this.
Awful, awful day.
Well, Felicia, it's your turn.
Juggernaut seems to be flying into a King Kong style rage
(41:42):
and your ostrich companion just got knocked the heck out.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, also the crowd is loving this
because it looks like one of the opponents is almost dead.
That's true.
I would like to pull the picture of Carley back up as like a shield.
No, no, I want to put a TF2 spy to sort of tape it to my face.
(42:03):
Oh, so like pretend you are Carla. Or Carley.
I'm not going to pretend.
I'm just going to tape it to my face just that way.
When he wants to punch me, he's going to have to look in the face of his daughter.
I mean, that's...
It's a shield I don't have to let go of.
Yeah, I mean, that's not a bad idea.
I'm just struggling to think of what would be the flip for that
because it's not really lying.
(42:24):
Because again, you're not really pretending.
You're just sort of like, hey, don't punch.
Probably like intelligence.
Intelligence and I don't know, maybe lying.
I have lying.
I'll go with that just because I can't think of anything better.
So yeah, intelligence and lying.
OK, let's see.
I got one success, a King.
I'll take it.
All right.
(42:44):
I mean, I'm just going to do a quick flip to see if the Juggernaut's fooled by this.
I'm not trying to fool him, but at least using,
for lack of better words, using his daughter as a shield.
Well, he got two successes to kind of see what you're doing.
So whatever you tried to do did not work.
My plan was to tape the picture to my face.
(43:06):
Right.
It's always when he tries to attack me,
he's going to have to look at that while he's doing it.
Well, I mean, because he got a better role than you,
he did look at that.
And because it's his turn, almost his turn,
it looks like he has no problem attacking that picture.
I think he's- Okay.
I am definitely turning him into a child services.
You could always kill him.
(43:28):
Ozzy's trying to get Felicia to do his own dirty work
from beyond the grave, end quotes.
Darling, I may have Space Disney lawyers to protect me,
but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to use them for whatever I want.
She just says to Ozzy's unconscious corpse,
because for once she knows what he's thinking.
Menthol.
(43:48):
I can just imagine he's just unconsciously saying,
he's like, I need a cigarette.
Ozzy, you're just dreaming of cigarette heaven.
Gosh, everything's smoke.
Maybe instead of cartoon style stars,
you just have packs of cigarettes floating around your head.
Just pack of Newports flying around his head.
Actually, no, I think he'd smoke Marlboro.
(44:10):
I think so.
He's classic style like that.
Not that I know anything about cigarettes.
Would he be into a Cuban?
Maybe? I don't know.
I don't know cigarettes that well.
So you know what? Yes.
Cubans are like those high quality cigars, you know?
I don't think he'd do cigars.
What are cigars?
Not just fancy cigarettes at that point.
Yeah, but they're more expensive.
I mean, yeah, but if one has been offered to you freely,
(44:31):
your unconscious mind would be like, nicotine, nicotine.
Yeah, if it's offered to you.
He's very much not a I would go out and buy this,
but he comes across the character would absolutely be like,
you could pay him off with some.
Well, I wouldn't say pay him off,
but he might look somewhere else while you do something.
He has to light a cigarette.
A cigar, I should say.
(44:52):
It's always cigarette break time in my book.
Dude was walking around a convention smoking,
for crying out loud.
You had a child on his back and he was smoking.
You taught them how to light a cigarette.
This is your comeuppance for teaching a child to light a cigarette.
I mean, now they know they can make fire.
I guess so.
I guess you've taught a valuable child,
(45:12):
a valuable skill to this child and then lost them.
I didn't lose them.
We just got beat up.
Whatever.
It's the Juggernaut's turn.
If I pull out a cartoon cigar, will he wake up?
Hmm.
It's like Popeye spinach for me.
I mean, you could definitely try on your turn.
I'm going.
I'm going to try it on my turn.
(45:32):
All right.
But first, the Juggernaut is going to get an attack.
Because clearly I need someone's psychic powers to fix this.
Two damage is coming at you, Felicia.
Oh, dang.
I'm injured now because I have five HP.
Yep.
That's injured.
Okay.
You know what?
Screw it.
I'm not going to wake him up.
I'm going to go brawler mode now.
He's pushed it.
All right.
Juggernaut basically just kind of laid in
(45:53):
quite a few more punches on you, Felicia.
So you're hurting a bit.
But it is your turn.
All right.
I'm going gear three.
Oh, no.
Not gear three.
Increase the size of my fist and just wallop him.
All right.
That's going to be brawn and melee.
Yeah.
One success.
All right.
Well, if you were trying to do the cartoon blow on your thumb to increase your fist size,
(46:19):
you do it a little bit.
You land a punch right on the Juggernaut, but it appears to do no damage.
All right.
Well, Felicia, bad news.
Two damage is coming at you.
Oh, no.
I have one HP.
I am unconscious now.
Oh, no.
No, no.
That puts me at three.
No, I'm still unconscious, but now I have.
Okay.
(46:39):
You look up sort of battered and bruised as the Juggernaut lands a haymaker right on your head.
You fall down unconscious.
However, the Juggernaut also Jokered.
I'm going to say that he ripped his underwear again.
As one final act, his pants just fall down King Hippo style.
So he won that battle for sure, but he's kind of embarrassed right now.
(47:00):
Well, the two of you are unconscious.
Yep.
So that means combat's over.
Bet you weren't expecting a TPK this soon.
Uh, nope.
Definitely not.
Well, I guess we'll see what happens then next time on Space Kings.
(47:32):
Oh, boy.
That's interesting.
Like the first real combat that's ended in failure.
Yeah, you've usually been very good at combat, but, uh, this guy wrecked you.
Yeah, we usually, we usually find some way around this time.
No, no.
Yeah, there's nothing.
The other thing I could have done was actually, you know, attack,
(47:53):
but I was like, no, I don't want you to.
I love that Ozzy took the,
I am going to destroy this man's entire belief system.
Yeah, and I was hoping.
Yeah, I feel like unfortunately, because of psychic powers here,
I don't think there's anything I could have done to have assisted actually in that moment.
And if we had that level of communication, I think maybe we could have done something.
Yeah, but staying in character, she just kept trying to do her own thing while he
(48:16):
kept doing his thing.
And then for like a moment, both plans crossed.
Then they went, you know, so far away from each other.
It's like, okay, now you're unconscious.
Now I'm unconscious and we're, and we lost.
Yeah, they're very much like, oh, I'm just with you.
We're not a team.
Anyway, I don't know them, which most likely will change in the near future.
But right now it's very much like, oh, I'm stuck with you.
(48:41):
Reluctant partners.
Now that the child's not here, it's just like, well.
Well, the two of you can get a Hero Point from me
because I feel like you might need it.
Please for all that is holy, let us be fully healed
for the next campaign on the next session.
I make no promises.
That's fair.
Let's start with Ozzy.
(49:01):
What was something Felicia did that was heroic?
Gave that big old concussion.
That's true.
Felicia did land the best attack, I think, of the match.
Just wrecked it.
And you got to give credit for, I almost said Wilbur,
for Ozzy's mentally destroying, just breaking this dude down mentally.
Oh yeah.
I'm not sure what the end game of that was.
(49:22):
But the end game's not there yet.
Fight's not over.
Well, I won't say that that ended exactly as I thought
because again, I had a feeling you would kind of win the day as always.
But no, we have to come to grips with the fact that you're not invincible.
Yeah, I guess this is the first step in trying to work as a team because wow.
Doesn't help that I'm a brawler character who didn't do any brawling.
(49:44):
I think the other thing is that, like,
yeah, you try to do the cartoon, like, I gotta create something.
But you have no wit, which is very much the creative skill.
Yeah.
Yeah, and we didn't talk once.
She's an actress, she's not a writer or director.
Yeah, that is another thing.
She improvs her role, not the general scenarios.
Right.
(50:04):
Yeah.
She goes into an improv session still being told like,
hey, here's the character you have to pretend to be.
So she's not used to doing this hero stuff naturally.
Right.
Well, maybe that's your character arc,
is to learn to be an actual hero and not just play one on TV.
Oh, I should probably stop recording.
Oh, yeah, I should probably do the same.
(50:25):
Oh, I should do that.
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space Kings system,
(50:47):
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You can learn more about this game or buy it yourself at supertry.itch.io
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Follow us on blue sky at livelaughloot.bsky.social
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast@gmail.com.
Our intro music is Out of Control by Chill Carrier,
(51:07):
and our outro music is One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description to find out what other songs played this episode
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Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then uh, don't watch the show.
Okay, bye!
Sorry, I have no idea what we're doing now.
Uh, you're blacked out, that's what happened.
Yeah, we actually have.
Oh, that worked out then!
If you want to look at it that way, then...
I'm looking at the positives.
Fair.
The positive is that we, for all the times this entire session,
(00:26):
we could have got sidetracked and forgot what was happening.
This is the best time.
Yeah.
Previously on Live Laugh Loot.
Backstage at the Entertain-a-Thon convention,
Ozzy and Felicia quickly established their dominance over the staff
by convincing everybody that they belonged there,
even as they failed to get any useful information about the Juggernaut's whereabouts.
(00:46):
But they eventually barged into the warehouse and got into a mild discussion about species
and stereotyping that only left one party member storming off
before the team got assaulted by a forklift driver
who was bested by the power of mental gymnastics and telekinetics.
With little Carley in tow, the gang headed down to investigate
a fight ring underneath the convention,
but almost immediately got caught by security and forced to surrender.
(01:11):
The two of them are knocked unconscious, waking up some time later.
(01:34):
Uh, well, you're not sure how much time passes,
but the two of you wake up out of your blacked out stupor.
You both have been outfitted with...
Just imagine kind of like the next step up from rags.
Well, you've been you've been stripped of basically anything important.
So Ozzy, you do not currently have access to either your hat or your club.
(01:57):
And Felicia, you don't really have anything physical on you at the moment,
as far as like items.
I saw my pocket. I could reach in and find something.
That's true.
Oh, you know what? They took your chalk?
Wait, no, I think we determined that that's not an item.
That's just something you can do.
Yeah.
So they didn't take that.
It's the one quote item I can pull out of my animation pocket, like without fail.
(02:20):
You are also in chains.
So your hands are chained together.
Not to each other, but uh...
For now.
Yeah, for now.
Yeah.
I'll be able to pull out when it's funny.
You wake up in a dingy room.
You don't see Carley.
Oh no.
Bird, wake up!
I'm awake.
That was kind of loud.
(02:41):
They took her.
They took the little girl.
I took...
I'm gonna spit.
Patoo.
Okay, you spit on the ground.
Trying to get my bearings to look around and see where we are and just...
No, since I've been a part of these like...
Not a part of, but like I've seen these fight arenas, so to speak.
Am I kind of familiar to the layout of where we're at right now?
(03:03):
Yeah, well you can still hear, although it's a little fainter now,
you can still hear that same crowd noise you heard earlier.
But Ozzy, you get the feeling, considering that you're chained up,
whoever is running this fight ring that is underground here
is gonna be putting you in the ring pretty soon.
(03:23):
Am I able to stand up?
Yes, your hands are bound.
Or for Ozzy, your wings or whatever we say...
Yeah, your wings are bound.
Yeah, I'm gonna stand up and stretch.
Maybe for Ozzy it looks a little more like a straight jacket,
but you can move around.
You do feel pretty weak from getting knocked in the...
Well, you got tazed.
(03:44):
Yeah.
And I got just bonked on the head
because I already forcibly put myself into a stop.
So you said every now and then you like to get in the fights, right?
Sure.
What if I told you that that's what we're gonna be doing here soon?
Aw, applesauce.
Oh, you don't swear, do you?
My corporate owners don't allow it.
Even on your off time?
Nope. I don't have off time.
(04:05):
This is the closest I've gotten,
and even then I'm still in company time.
I know the feeling.
A private dick like you?
Nah.
And he goes to like...
Instinctually he goes to like grab a cigarette and he's like,
oh, wait.
Yeah, Ozzy, they took your cigarettes too, yeah.
Those bitches.
Well, they do want your lungs to be good before you fight,
so I guess it makes sense.
They do pay a hefty dollar for this.
(04:27):
Hope that kid's all right.
So you do care?
Yeah.
He's gonna look around to see if there's anyone else in there with him.
Not just like, oh, hey, there's people watching,
but like, are there other fighters around?
There are not.
It just appears to be you two in this room.
Well, I'm not a fan of what you called me,
but I will say that I'm sorry that I got you in this mess.
I know you're from like a different time frame,
(04:49):
but could you please try not to call me a bird?
I'm from 2,000 years ago.
Just please.
But I don't look a day over 300.
Can we congrats, but seriously though,
I don't like the whole bird comment.
It's a little demeaning.
I spent a long time to get to where I am.
You know how many ostriches are in my field?
(05:10):
You think I like being demeaned like that as well?
I can't do what other cartoon characters do.
Well, I guess we got a lot to learn about each other.
This is such a nice sweet bonding moment
and nothing could possibly ruin it.
Oh, I'm waiting for the bad to happen.
After a while, probably just sitting in more awkward silence after,
not really resolving your conflicts, but at least trying.
(05:32):
I just imagine she's just sort of tapping her heels
while she's waiting at this point.
Yeah, eventually though, somebody entered this room
and it's just like, all right, you two follow me quietly.
It's the same guard who knocked you out, Felicia.
Oh, fun.
It's the same one I saw before too, right?
You saw them when you poked your head into the room,
but if you're referring to like the security guard
(05:52):
that you were talking with like when you first entered, then no.
Okay.
So the two of you are escorted through the hallways
and this guy opens up the door to the center room
where you hear the crowd.
You are led into a dimly lit room, except for the center,
which has a giant ring, a fighting ring.
(06:12):
You can see somebody is being carried away
from the ring in a stretcher.
He sort of like twitched around like, ah, ah, ah,
as he's being carried away.
You wouldn't have any hooch for us, would you?
I mean, if you got to high hat us,
might as well let us numb the pain, right?
Look, if you want my advice, if you want to avoid the pain,
you got to deliver some pain.
Like a delivery man.
(06:33):
Shut up, you.
She breaks out of the cuffs just so she can facepalm.
You are led up to the side of the ring.
You just sort of are told to like kind of stay put for now.
The crowd is sort of, yeah, let's go.
Next fight, next fight.
You see an emcee walk up into the center of the ring
was like, well, ladies and gentlemen,
(06:54):
hope you enjoy that brawl.
I'm sure our next competitors are going to be
just as excited to get into this ring as everyone else has.
Let's bring up our next fighters.
And you hear the crowd chant loudly and loudly
as Felicia and Ozzy, you are led up into the ring.
(07:15):
And I didn't mention this,
but this ring has got like a cage.
So this is like cage match style.
You are unshackled as the cage door closes behind you.
The emcee continues and says,
These two fine competitors are going against our big champion today.
Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you your champion.
(07:40):
And on the other side of the ring is the crowd is roaring loudly
and like stuff's getting thrown around.
Like you see like loose money is flying in the air
as people are putting bets down like haphazardly.
It's a wild scene as on the other side of the ring,
a giant Stoneguard enters the ring.
Although he is not wearing the garb that you saw him in on the poster,
(08:03):
you do recognize this person as the Juggernaut.
Oh look, the Juggernaut fellow.
I remember seeing posts of him back at the convention.
So this Juggernaut is a towering beast.
He's like 12 foot tall, looks heavy as hell.
Like just imagine a bunch of boulders put together as his body
and then smaller boulders for his arms and legs.
(08:25):
He is towering over the two of you.
Damn right he is.
My character's like four feet tall.
And I'm not sure exactly how tall ostriches are,
but I don't believe they get as tall as humans in their normal pose.
They're about six feet tall on average, I think.
Okay.
If not taller, definitely not 12 feet tall.
I'll say that much.
Actually, ostriches can grow anywhere between 6.9 feet to 9 feet.
(08:49):
Oh dang.
Okay.
Damn.
That wasn't that far off when I said six feet initially.
Yeah.
This person is taller than you, Ozzy.
Let's put it that way by a sizable margin.
How tall is Ozzy then?
Let's go with eight feet because that sounds terrifying.
Okay.
I have been assuming that Ozzy is more or less regular human size.
So by this logic, Felicia were to stand on Ozzy's head.
(09:10):
They would be just as tall as the Juggernaut.
That, yeah.
Not as wide, but yeah.
Yeah, but you would still be four feet tall.
He's eight feet tall.
That would solve the height difference.
Although I'll be honest, Ozzy would probably just try to be like,
okay, let's get on each other's shoulders and try to get on your shoulders.
She'd let it happen too because she'd think it would be funny,
(09:32):
so she'd let it happen.
That sounds like a scenario for gags.
Best part, she'd just let him do it and then he'd just try to death stare him in the face.
There's like dead ostrich stare.
Oh no.
No, if that would have happened, something would have happened.
Anyway.
You don't do that necessarily, but I mean, you could.
But don't do that yet.
So you are about to fight, but I will let you do a brawn and spacewise
(10:00):
in order to do like, the spotlight will shine down on you.
You can do a pose to kind of like get the crowd roared up in your direction.
But we're still bound with our hands behind our backs.
Well, at least mine is.
You have been unshackled when you were put in the cage match.
So your hands are free.
Oh, okay.
So again, brawn and spacewise as the first flip, please.
(10:23):
Both of you.
Two successes.
She's going to do a little tap dance into the ring.
Well, it was two successes, so that's a pretty good tap dance.
The crowd who maybe is more used to like brutal fight techniques
is maybe like initially puzzled like, why is she tap dancing?
But you do it pretty successfully and yeah, do a little like.
(10:44):
Yeah, and she does like a pose, arms out,
waiting for the applause because that's what she's used to.
You get some pretty solid applause
and you hear like one person going like, yeah, Felicia Fox.
I can imagine like a bunch of cartoon roses falling in front of her as she does.
Yep.
Yeah, not a full bouquet.
It wasn't that good, but you get a rose.
(11:05):
But no, it's not even from the crowd.
It's just it happens when she does stuff because she's a toon.
Yeah.
What about you, Ozzy?
Ozzy got two successes.
Cool.
So what's your intro move?
Okay, so we're in this pit, just us, correct?
Yep.
Just a giant underground fighting ring.
You're in a, it's cage match style too.
So you're locked in.
(11:25):
I love how casually you say that.
Like this isn't the strangest thing ever.
Ozzy's been in a lot of weird stuff.
Okay.
And what does he the Juggernaut only has his fists, right?
Like is he wearing a helmet like the Juggernaut or what exactly is his attire?
He is basically wearing kind of an old style wrestler, like leotard,
(11:49):
like strongman style, like from the 1900s.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to use my actually, no, I can't do that yet.
Yeah.
What's your, what's your opening?
Like you got like a spotlight on you to get the crowd on your side or what have you.
Oh, I am biting his face.
Okay.
I'm not looking for a combat move.
I'm just sort of looking for you to like do an intro pose.
(12:10):
So if you want to like bite the air to kind of intimidate them that I'll let you do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
So Felicia, you did a tap dance, which got the crowd on your side.
Ozzy, you just bite in the air like the ostrich you are, which-
Like a rabid beast.
Yeah, like probably to sell it a little more.
You flap your flap your wings a bit and screech.
(12:31):
I'm imagining like, you know how those ducks like go up to like peas and stuff
and just like gobble all the peas really quickly.
Yes.
I'm imagining him just doing that in the air,
but with giant, you know, ostrich lips and teeth and whatever.
Do ostrich have teeth?
I don't know.
Some birds do.
I'm not sure about ostriches.
I know penguins do.
(12:53):
Ostriches do not have teeth.
Okay.
Wait, penguins have teeth?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's awful.
I never knew that and I hate that information now.
Oh, it's bad.
Like I knew there's a certain breed of penguin.
They're like disgustingly horny old fuckers.
But like I didn't know they had teeth.
I don't know if it's all penguins, but I know some do.
Anyway, Ozzy, you, yeah, just sort of bite into the air a bit and maybe do a little hiss,
(13:16):
which I know is more swan, but you know, whatever.
Maybe that's like establishing your heel status in this fight,
which I think this underground fight club would love.
I do have bad news for you though.
The Juggernaut also flipped for an intro and got four successes, one of which is a crit.
So the Juggernaut sort of just looks at you, does not say a word,
(13:36):
and immediately slams his fist into the ring
Both of you feel like, almost feel like you want to trip to the ground.
And in a single moment, the crowd just goes silent for a second,
then roars into applause because they know the Juggernaut's here to not fuck around.
Why am I doing this?
All right, we will now officially start combat.
(13:58):
Felicia, you have initiative.
I straight up want to start off combat by just like
acknowledging that we were in contact with his daughter right before this.
Do I need to roll anything?
Do I need to drop that or like?
As in you're gonna like tell him straight up?
Yes, because I want him to,
despite building a brawler character,
I still want to try and find a way to handle this,
you know, without getting her beautiful face punched in
(14:20):
only for it to be fixed five seconds later.
Yeah, I'm gonna say you do like take a step forward to kind of like approach
and then you see in the Juggernaut,
the Juggernaut immediately fixes his gaze on you.
You immediately just with your...
How much intelligence did you have?
Oh, you have one intelligence.
This person is not in the right mindset to be persuaded down verbally.
(14:43):
You're gonna have to choose another tactic.
So there's no point trying to talk this one out.
Not at the moment.
I have a stupid idea and it's guaranteed to fail
even if I get successes by the same vein.
I kind of just want to cartoon like, you know, scuttle over
just hand out be like, hello, mister.
(15:03):
I hope I hope we can have a jolly fair fight
or something like that.
Okay, so your opening gambit is to give a cool handshake
and be like, you know, let's have a clean fight.
I'll think of something more creative.
If I could get a success like, can I do that?
You can certainly try.
I think that would be charm and persuasion.
(15:26):
Okay, I do not have any persuasion.
I do have charm.
I have perform not persuasion.
So yeah, you're not trying to like act out a handshake.
You're trying to literally have to try to do it.
The only success I got was an ace of diamonds.
Okay, so one success.
Well, you do like extend your hand out
and be like, you know, hello, fellow.
Hello, you big palooka.
(15:47):
I do hope we have a fun, fair match.
Yeah, the Juggernaut just sort of looks down at you,
Felicia, as you like walk up and extend your stand
and be like, hello, and just starts growling
like a King Kong style growl like, and you immediately like,
I should back up.
This is a small cartoon fox walk up in a proper match.
(16:07):
So I hope we have a good fair match.
He's like, I'm gonna back up.
This is uncomfortable.
Maybe what happened is like he almost leaned down
a little bit and just, but the force of his breath
is enough to kind of like blow wind
past your hair, Felicia.
So you got a cartoony like wave effect
and when he's done, your fur looks like it's like
(16:29):
puffed up and you're like, so I guess that was your turn.
Yep, hell of a start.
Well, Ozzy, you are actually next.
I know you typically have low initiative,
but the Juggernaut's is lower.
Sick, I'm gonna use telepathy
and try to mess with his brain.
That will be wit and te-le-pa-thy... or telepathy
(16:51):
as it should be called.
Yes, all right.
So we got like one success out of all that.
All right.
You know what, screw it.
I'm using my Hero Point.
Go for it.
So that was useless.
Which a Hero Point gives you two more, so.
Oh, it gives you two more.
Okay.
Two cards.
Yeah, Hero Points give you two additional cards,
but you can only use one per flip.
(17:11):
Man, eight cards and only one success.
Ozzy, I think you're maybe a little bit intimidated
by this Juggernaut,
but you do try and focus your mental energy
and sort of like poke around telepathically
and you're like, hello, Juggernaut?
Are you in there?
Juggernaut, Juggernaut, Juggernaut.
You do manage to notice just with your practice
(17:34):
and telepathy, which by the way,
did you do an additional card for your eclectic?
Because you do have a-
No, I did not.
Now I have two successes.
Excellent.
Yeah, you focus a little harder on the Juggernaut
and you do notice that it seems like
the Juggernaut has some kind of
psychic telepathic wall that's blocking his brain.
You notice that you can't get into his actual brain wavelength.
(17:56):
Something is disrupting that.
That's all the information you can get from that now.
But it does seem like more telepathy flips
might be able to curb that.
So let's see what the Juggernaut does.
All right, he only got one success.
He probably would target Felicia
because she is the only one who appears
to have made a move towards him.
(18:17):
So Felicia, he's going to kind of leap
into the air a little bit towards you
and just sort of slam down near you.
So I'm assuming you're going to dodge.
I don't have a complicated dodge.
Can I dodge by turning into a puddle
or making him think he landed the hit?
Yeah.
So I'm squashing myself?
Yeah, I think you can do that.
(18:37):
But it will take off one dodge point just in general
because one point of damage was coming at you.
Yeah, okay, I'll take it.
Again, I want to stay in the cartoon character vibe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
I kind of look like that Squidward meme.
Just, you know.
You know what I'm thinking of, right?
Yeah.
So I will change it then
The Juggernaut does try to do a butt slam on you
and you do manage to kind of puddle yourself instantly
(19:01):
which does block the damage.
The Juggernaut sits up and looks down
and sees a Felicia puddle with two butt marks.
But you are unharmed,
which means Felicia, it's back up to you.
My turn.
I want to like pick myself up.
I want to reach inside my cartoon pocket
and I want to pull out like a hammer.
Sure thing.
That'll be, I forget what we do for your cartoon pocket.
(19:23):
I think that would be wit and... if it's a hammer.
Well, it's like, you know, it's a mallet.
You're like Tom and Jerry.
Oh, you know what?
Duh, melee.
Yeah, I have melee.
Yeah, so wit and melee.
Let's see.
Okay, two successes.
Yeah, I'm gonna say you pull out,
I think two successes is enough to pull out a sledgehammer.
Not like a super duper heavy like railroad spike sledgehammer,
(19:45):
but one that you can comfortably wield.
It still looks cartoonishly like, you know,
bigger than it really is.
Yep, Ozzy.
Now, I can tell the mask would be basically, you know,
tied together, right?
Mask as in-
Not mask, the Luchador thing, yeah.
Do you mean the leotard?
(20:06):
Leotard, yes.
Am I even thinking- what is a leotard?
Am I stupid?
Let me send you a-
It's a one-piece suit.
Oh, okay.
I don't know why I was thinking the leotard was like-
There's headgear, which is, you know,
like that rubbery padded stuff, but-
No, this is an underground fight ring.
There is absolutely no protective headgear of any kind.
(20:27):
This is not like a overseen by UFC kind of fight.
This is literally put two people in a ring
and have them kill each other.
You need to start taking notes.
That way, next thing we know, when we get out of here,
we can fucking bring this whole place down
by the unstoppable power of OSHA.
Space OSHA.
Speaking of Space OSHA,
I'm gonna use telekinesis to try and mess with his brain.
(20:49):
Telepathy, you mean?
Yeah, that.
Sure thing, wit and telepathy.
All right.
I mean, telekinesis would mess with his brain,
but that's like if you want to like
move the brain physically out of its socket.
No.
I thought about it for a second but I get it now.
Which, I mean, that'd also be pretty cool, but-
So that is two successes.
Okay.
Yeah, you do manage to focus your mind again.
(21:10):
You try and decode some of the psychic defenses
that you noticed earlier.
If you can imagine it as sort of like movie-style hacking,
but it's brains instead of computers.
Ozzy's just a hacker man.
Yeah, that's sort of what's happening.
You are brain hacker man.
You do manage to break down some of the psychic defense,
but I won't tell you exactly how much you've broken in.
(21:32):
As it's happening, you just go,
all right, let's see, I'm gonna make you cry.
Damn.
Felicia, all you have seen is Ozzy just sort of like
concentrating like, and then out loud he says,
I'm gonna make you cry.
She's just perpetually confused by what he's talking about.
No further context.
(21:52):
All right.
Yeah.
Juggernaut's up.
Felicia, two more damages coming your way.
Again, you can dodge.
Yep.
I have one dodge left.
All right.
The Juggernaut, I think he's gonna do like
the Donkey Kong in Smash style
where he's gonna like pound the ground a little bit.
You do manage to jump out of the way.
Thank goodness I didn't get Banana Slama'd.
No, you did not get Banana Slama'd,
(22:13):
but as he's doing that,
you all of a sudden hear fabric ripping
because it looks like the Juggernaut
has split his leotard because he got a Joker.
He turns around just trying to be like,
what the heck was that?
And yeah, you just see a big old rock butt
just peeking out.
The Juggernaut just is like,
(22:35):
he seems distressed.
This would be a great time for somebody
to try and penetrate his psychic mind a little more
because he seems to be distracted by the fact
that his leotard just ripped.
I believe in you, Felicia.
Darling, I'm an actress, not a psychic.
Those street level carnies
are nothing compared to the glory
(22:55):
that is my performance, darling.
You act like a psychic.
I don't have psychic powers.
She starts reaching her magic pocket,
pulls out like a googly-eyed third eye,
and he puts it on her forehead
in a jewel necklace and is like,
look, I'm psychic now.
Are you happy, you filthy bird?
Uh-oh.
(23:16):
Hey, he's just, she's disrespecting
her art style of acting
to that pedantic psychic stuff on the streets.
Oh, to be fair, I am not.
Ozzy's too focused on wanting to
not going to tell you what he's wanting to do.
So he didn't register that.
Oh yeah, no, he has a game plan.
He is absolutely going to kick me
once the fight's over, though.
(23:37):
He's going to catch up like,
hey, wait a minute.
I imagine being like Hulk and Thor
in the Avengers movie.
Pfft.
Well, Felicia, it is your turn.
You have a sledgehammer.
So I want to just sort of bonk him on the head now.
That'll break his psychic concentration, right?
(23:59):
Well, that'll be brawn melee plus two for your hammer.
All right, so that's four because of my brawn,
two because of my melee,
two because of my hammer,
and one because I'm healthy.
Should be three because of your brawn.
Oh, okay.
Because that's another one of the
workout things you get,
but you don't have that this turn.
Okay, because I have four.
You would have four because another thing with workout
(24:20):
is you can increase your brawn to four.
Normally it's three.
Okay.
But you didn't choose that this session.
Okay, gotcha.
Okay, three successes,
one of them being the Queen of Hearts.
Nice, so that's six successes.
Yeah, damn, Felicia,
it does help that the Juggernaut
is kind of distracted with his wardrobe malfunction,
but as soon as he kind of gets in your line of sight,
(24:42):
what kind of swing do you think
Felicia would do in this situation
if you're trying to hit the Juggernaut?
There's like a moment from Homestuck that I'm thinking of
where the main character Egbert,
he's got this pogo hammer,
and it sort of starts bouncing around
so he basically does like a triple flip in the air
to sort of smacks the opponent.
Okay.
Jumps up like Sonic the Hedgehog
spinning around and then sort of wham!
(25:02):
For sure.
I was gonna say like you
might even like bounce off the ropes,
but this is not a wrestling ring.
This is a cage match.
Yeah, there's no ropes to bounce off of.
The point is you do some
really amazing cartoony acrobatics
jump into the air and bring your hammer down
on the Juggernaut dealing quite a bit of damage.
Uh, the Juggernaut does have physical armor,
(25:23):
but I mean you got six successes.
Uh, I'm gonna say like a little bit of rock chunk spews off,
which I guess would be the equivalent of losing flesh.
It's kind of gross when you think about it.
But you got a great hit in Felicia,
and the Juggernaut is like,
ahhhh!
He's now dazed.
Do your thing, ostrich.
Yeah, Ozzy, you are up.
All right.
(25:44):
We're gonna do, uh, telekinesis again,
because I'm going to break his walls on the inside.
Yeah, same thing, uh, wit and telepathy.
All right.
Six cards, baby.
That is three successes.
Oh, wait, no.
Yeah, three successes.
I thought one was the queen of hearts first, the diamond.
No, but still, I mean three successes, that's great.
Um, you go back into psychic hacker man mode.
(26:06):
You are just kind of like
disconnecting telepathic neurons left and right.
It seems like you are getting pretty close
to the root of whatever's causing
this telepathic mind shield to appear.
You haven't quite cracked it yet,
but you can feel like a lot of the Juggernaut's
actual thought process starting to return.
But it is the Juggernaut's turn.
So it's like, oh God, he Jokered again.
(26:28):
Let's go.
Now he's butt naked.
Yeah.
Uh, do I want to make the Juggernaut butt naked?
Yeah, you know what?
I'm going to say he gets up from his dazed hit
after Felicia smacked him in the head real hard
and is going to be like, get fox lady.
(26:49):
But in the process of standing up,
I guess maybe he was like backed up against the steel cage.
The steel cage catches the rest of his leotard
and as he walks forward, it just completely rips off.
So we now have a naked and very shamed rock person,
giant rock person in the middle of the ring who's just like, uh oh.
So he is going to take his turn to cover himself up,
(27:11):
which does mean that he is distracted.
So Felicia, I will give you a bit of an advantage this turn.
Okay, I want to finally take this moment
to try and mention like, hey, yeah, we came here with your daughter.
Because like if he's slowly getting his thought process back,
that should help snap him back into reality.
Yeah, I think you can do that now.
Like, wait, oh shit, right.
I'm a dad.
I left my kid alone and unattended.
(27:33):
Oh, fuck, the government are going to take the kids.
I'm going to lose them.
Oh, no.
I think you can try that now.
I think that would be charm and persuasion,
plus one because he is kind of like mentally distracted by everything.
Well, that's a good bonus for me because remember I have no persuasion.
Not only did I not get any successes, I got a Joker.
(27:55):
Ouch.
You have the anti-Joker.
Oh, I do?
We never discussed who had the anti-Joker, but yeah.
That's true.
I actually have it that Ozzy has the anti-Joker.
But do you have the anti-Joker than Ozzy?
Of course.
Yeah, no, we're not.
This man is butt naked.
We are going to use this to our advantage.
Dang it.
Okay, but still zero successes.
(28:16):
So Felicia, you do try to say like,
hey, your daughter is looking for you.
We can take you to her.
But that's going to come across so bad.
It doesn't even look like the Juggernaut is listening to you right now.
So that fell on deaf ears.
Ozzy, what are your charm persuasion stats?
Like probably nothing in charm,
but you've got to have some decent persuasion, right?
(28:36):
Yeah, he has no charm, but persuasion is also pretty all right.
Maybe you can try.
Oh, no, we're doing telekinesis.
I'm destroying this man from the inside out.
Well, wit and telepathy.
Oh, right.
You keep saying telekinesis, but I know what you mean.
Yeah, I don't know why.
I mean, you can use telekinesis if you want to throw the Juggernaut
around the arena with your brain.
But like, it doesn't seem like the thing to do with the moment.
(28:59):
No, we only got two successes, though.
Thankfully, that is enough to dig through the rest of that telepathic armor.
I'm going to say that you now just kind of have like a back door
into the actual Juggernaut's brain.
You can hear a lot of his thoughts being like,
what's going on?
What's happening?
Where am I?
If you want to say something telepathically to the Juggernaut now,
you have an opportunity.
(29:19):
All right.
I believe in you.
Ozzy is going to say, do you know how many you've killed
with your cold, hard hands?
That's it.
You had an opportunity to bring up why we came here
because of his daughter.
Instead, you're just like,
I'm going to remind you that you killed people.
Told you I'm breaking from the inside out.
(29:40):
Oh, my God.
You're going to break this man by making him think
he's going to lose the kids.
Well, not necessarily.
Damn, I am kind of stumped at how the Juggernaut
will respond to this.
Gosh, just coming to them being told you've killed people.
I think the only thing the Juggernaut would say was like,
what are you talking?
Who are you?
I'm the Juggernaut.
(30:01):
No, you're not, bitch.
I'm kidding.
He's not going to say that.
Okay.
I'd be amazing mind games.
It would be, but that's too much like X-Men
and Ozzy doesn't watch TV.
That's true.
I'm the Juggernaut, bitch.
I'm going to say, I'm the you that did all those things.
What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure this man knows he's not an ostrich.
(30:23):
I mean, I'm not, he doesn't, I'm not talking to him.
I'm just speaking in his mind.
That's a good, that's a fair point.
Oh, you're using telepathy.
I forgot.
This is all telepathic.
So Felicia, you don't hear any of this.
Oh yeah.
So she's just sort of staring at him.
Are you my conscience?
I'm your sins.
Damn.
We'll leave that for now because the Juggernaut
(30:44):
in the real world is going to take a turn.
You see the Juggernaut punches a hole in the cage
and just sort of like reaches around under the ring
and just grabs like a banner, wraps it around himself
to give himself a- to protect his genitals.
So don't worry, he is clothed again.
Man, dumb.
(31:06):
And then is going to attack Ozzy.
Two points of damage are coming at you.
All right, well I'm going to use my dodge.
Sweet.
Oh, my dodge.
Nice, but you do dodge out of the way
as this guy comes in for a uppercut right on you.
But misses.
You do notice though, Ozzy, this,
the Juggernaut seems to be a little more rage filled now.
It seems like whatever you did to break the telepathic barrier
(31:28):
might've caused the neurons in the Juggernaut's head
to go a little haywire.
That's fine.
Uh, Felicia.
Can I try and pull out a picture
of his daughter from my cartoon pocket?
Because if I can't explain it through words,
I need to perform at this point.
I need to try, you know,
make the message clear without using words.
I'm an actress, damn it, darling.
I need to show my talent.
(31:50):
I think that would be wit and empathy
to pull out a picture.
I...
Empathy.
Oh, yeah, because it's...
Yeah.
Oh, that's a stat.
Yeah, Wilbur had that.
Well, I don't have wit nor do I have empathy.
That doesn't solve anything.
Well, good luck.
I'll take using wit.
Well, you're trying to, like,
establish a family relationship.
What else would you use?
(32:11):
Well, I'm trying to find a way to convey my message
without words now.
Well, again, if you want to, like,
fish out a picture of him, again,
that's a pretty empathetic move.
I mean, if you want to, like, draw something,
because I know you're itching to use perform,
I will let you do, like, wit and perform
to, like, draw a picture of Carla.
Yeah, okay, I'll do that.
Two successes.
(32:31):
All right.
You draw a pretty alright drawing of Carla
that looks kind of accurate.
If you sell it enough,
you can maybe get the point across,
but that'll have to be on a separate turn.
We're going back down to Ozzy.
Ozzy, you have a telepathic link to the Juggernaut.
You can continue talking to him
or do a physical move,
whichever you want to do.
(32:52):
Oh, telepathic move, baby.
All right.
What are you going to say to him?
You know your daughter has watched you
bring pain and suffering to others, right?
You need to atone for your sins.
That's got to be presence and telepathy.
Great presence.
Do I have presence?
I'd have some.
One, two, okay.
(33:13):
Okay.
One success.
You relay this message
that the Juggernaut is responsible
for pain and suffering.
For his daughter.
For his daughter?
So what were you saying again?
Like...
Yeah, I was like,
you know your daughter's watching this happen.
Which you don't,
which you don't know.
I don't know.
I don't need to know.
I guess so.
But that's also technically...
(33:33):
Because I believe it.
That's technically a lie.
I mean, do you want me to throw lying in there?
I mean, you already did flip to tell him something.
So if you can tell him something
that is not an outright fabrication,
which I guess like you've caused pain
and suffering is technically true.
Yeah, yeah.
As long as you just don't say outright,
hey, your daughter's watching this
and like she's sad or whatever.
(33:53):
Because you don't know that.
I don't, but we're going to find out soon.
Also, you don't know that.
You're not wrong.
All right, well anyway,
you say your words of encouragement
to the Juggernaut telepathically.
One success you said?
Yeah, just one.
I don't know who you are
or what you're trying to accomplish here.
This is what you hear telepathically.
(34:13):
I'm just trying to do the job I was given, okay?
I don't know what you think you're trying to accomplish
by messing with my mind,
but this isn't the way to go about it, bro.
You're not the only one who's trying to finish a job.
And what do you mean by that, sir?
I'm going to be silent right now.
Excellent.
So yeah, just leave him hanging.
(34:34):
Yep.
Cool.
No, you don't get no answers.
Cool.
Well, I guess that'll be your turn.
Yep.
All right, Juggernaut's going to do a big old move.
Ozzy, two damages coming at you.
We're getting punched.
Yeah.
Well, I am now injured.
Ruh-roh.
That's fine.
The Juggernaut does a grapple move on you,
so very like Mike Haggar style.
(34:54):
Yeah.
Sort of like picks you up,
tosses you down onto the floor.
You definitely felt that one.
I'm also going to say like the audience is like,
yeah, finally something happened,
because a lot of this has just been you two walking around
not doing anything while the Juggernaut swings,
misses, and loses his clothes.
Start off like, yeah, this is great.
Why is he naked?
(35:14):
Felicia whacked him real good with a hammer,
but that feels like it was hours ago.
I'm just imagining as like Ozzy gets picked up into the air,
he's like necks flailing around back and forth.
Ozzy needs to see her after this.
Well, Felicia, you're up.
So has he noticed the drawing of Carley I made yet,
or is he still focused on the ostrich?
(35:35):
Yeah, just focused on the ostrich.
You also haven't shown it to him yet.
So I want to start like trying to get his attention
to like notice the drawing.
Charm and empathy.
Okay, so no empathy so just four cards then.
All right.
Yeah.
I got one success, a jack of diamonds.
All right.
As the Juggernaut's standing up from slamming Ozzy into the ground,
you hold the drawing of Carla in his line of sight.
(36:00):
You're just like, look, this is your daughter, daughter.
You giant fool.
Look, this.
This is what I've been trying to talk to you about.
Look at this.
Does this make sense to you?
That's the first time he's talked in a while.
Ozzy, your neck feels a little scratched up, yeah.
The Juggernaut sort of leans in to look at your picture
(36:20):
and you just want to hear like a
growl from him.
But he does not seem any more or less emotionally swayed
than he was before, but you have got his attention
and that brings it to Ozzy.
So Ozzy, you just got slammed into the floor.
That kind of hurt, but you're okay for now.
(36:41):
Okay, fuck you.
And we're going to do telepathy again.
And this time we're going to lie.
What's your lie going to be?
I want to hear this first.
Every life you've taken in this ring, she's watched.
Damn.
How are you going to be able to look at her in the eye
after what you did to these poor souls?
(37:02):
Damn.
God damn.
Presence and lying, please.
Okay, one, two.
Because I'm going to say like you already established
a telepathic connection.
You really don't need to do any telepathic flips
at the moment, but you need to sell this lie.
I might use drive if it helps him.
If he needs it, that is.
Ozzy, you can definitely use drive as well.
You've got, how many drive points do you got?
(37:22):
I forget we have drive sometimes.
I used mine earlier.
You used the Hero Point,
which is basically like a super drive.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I have three successes.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm getting kind of worried
because I have no Jokers
and also the Queen of Hearts hasn't been used yet.
So I think I'm going to stick with the three wins.
Three successes, that's a pretty good lie.
And I think also bolstered by the fact
(37:44):
that the Juggernaut in the physical world
is looking at a picture of his daughter
trying to like reconcile, like who dat?
That probably also helps you out a bit
because he's able to physically see the person
that according to you, he has harmed
by killing people in the ring, which also a lie.
To be fair, I don't know that.
That's true.
That's, hence the lie part of it.
(38:04):
But Ozzy, you do hear sort of telepathically
like she looks familiar.
Who is that?
I've, I've heard her.
Who is she?
You've been so blinded by your bloodlust
that you can't even remember the face of your own daughter.
What a disgrace.
(38:25):
God damn.
I guess you were going to like kill this guy emotionally.
Oh yeah, that was the whole point.
Yeah.
He's just going to go up to his conduct
and be like, I killed him.
He's still alive.
I killed his emotions.
Oh yeah, no.
Like I knew I wasn't going to beat him in a fight.
So I'm like, I'm going to destroy you mentally.
God damn.
Is that your thought process when you took the hit?
Yeah, I have a feeling that this is very like concussion style.
(38:47):
Oh, my brain doesn't work.
So I'm going to make you feel like a shithead.
That's fine.
I mean, well, I mean, to be fair, you got three successes.
So whatever you're doing, it's working.
It's going to go so downhill so fast.
This is just a DM thing.
You feel a ping of shame.
You've probably felt that many times before on your cases.
(39:08):
Feeling of a job well done.
Wow.
I feel like you're probably lucky that Felicia can't hear any of this.
Yeah, definitely.
Well, the Juggernaut is going to get a turn.
He is kind of like emotionally distracted because of Ozzy's pretty good telepathy flip.
But let's see what he does.
(39:28):
All right.
Well, he got another Joker, but I'm not going to make him lose his clothes again.
He's still looking at the picture and you just hear Carla.
Carla in danger.
Juggernaut is going to fly into a bit of a rage now.
Ozzy, your telepathic connection with the Juggernaut is shattered.
(39:52):
Yeah, Juggernaut is going to deal three damage to everybody in the ring right now.
All right.
Well, I'm knocked out.
Me as well.
Yep.
Oh, boy.
So the good news is that just gets rid of all my dodge.
Anything after this point will actually hurt now.
I think, unless I did my math wrong at some point.
I want to see you had one dodge remaining.
(40:14):
Okay, then I'll go with that.
I trust your math better than I trust mine.
So that means I lose two health.
I'm not injured.
I have that going for me.
Well, Ozzy.
Yeah, Ozzy like looks at him and like the moment he sees like a fist coming
in his way, you just hear under Ozzy's breath like,
fuck, and boom, he's knocked out.
Yeah, both of you just take a wild haymaker to the face.
(40:39):
Felicia, even though this hurts, you do kind of like take it on the cheek
and you're like, oh, darling, darling, limp ostrich in the middle.
Yeah, Ozzy.
You just sort of fly backwards and get a spot of like a Mel Blanc scream.
Like, oh, I'm going to back up away from them.
Like, yeah, yeah, go for it.
There we go.
(41:00):
Ozzy, you get knocked back into the cage wall.
You fall unconscious.
Your body limps down and your neck almost like uncoiled like a snake.
And your tongue sticking out.
Sleepy time.
I kind of imagine he sort of like flopped the cord like NES Punch-Out.
And Mario comes in and is like, one, two, three.
That doesn't happen.
(41:21):
This isn't real.
I was going to say, I don't get to see Mario.
This is the worst work day ever.
First I have to go to a convention and I have to kill somebody to get tickets
and then now this.
Awful, awful day.
Well, Felicia, it's your turn.
Juggernaut seems to be flying into a King Kong style rage
(41:42):
and your ostrich companion just got knocked the heck out.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, also the crowd is loving this
because it looks like one of the opponents is almost dead.
That's true.
I would like to pull the picture of Carley back up as like a shield.
No, no, I want to put a TF2 spy to sort of tape it to my face.
(42:03):
Oh, so like pretend you are Carla. Or Carley.
I'm not going to pretend.
I'm just going to tape it to my face just that way.
When he wants to punch me, he's going to have to look in the face of his daughter.
I mean, that's...
It's a shield I don't have to let go of.
Yeah, I mean, that's not a bad idea.
I'm just struggling to think of what would be the flip for that
because it's not really lying.
(42:24):
Because again, you're not really pretending.
You're just sort of like, hey, don't punch.
Probably like intelligence.
Intelligence and I don't know, maybe lying.
I have lying.
I'll go with that just because I can't think of anything better.
So yeah, intelligence and lying.
OK, let's see.
I got one success, a King.
I'll take it.
All right.
(42:44):
I mean, I'm just going to do a quick flip to see if the Juggernaut's fooled by this.
I'm not trying to fool him, but at least using,
for lack of better words, using his daughter as a shield.
Well, he got two successes to kind of see what you're doing.
So whatever you tried to do did not work.
My plan was to tape the picture to my face.
(43:06):
Right.
It's always when he tries to attack me,
he's going to have to look at that while he's doing it.
Well, I mean, because he got a better role than you,
he did look at that.
And because it's his turn, almost his turn,
it looks like he has no problem attacking that picture.
I think he's- Okay.
I am definitely turning him into a child services.
You could always kill him.
(43:28):
Ozzy's trying to get Felicia to do his own dirty work
from beyond the grave, end quotes.
Darling, I may have Space Disney lawyers to protect me,
but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to use them for whatever I want.
She just says to Ozzy's unconscious corpse,
because for once she knows what he's thinking.
Menthol.
(43:48):
I can just imagine he's just unconsciously saying,
he's like, I need a cigarette.
Ozzy, you're just dreaming of cigarette heaven.
Gosh, everything's smoke.
Maybe instead of cartoon style stars,
you just have packs of cigarettes floating around your head.
Just pack of Newports flying around his head.
Actually, no, I think he'd smoke Marlboro.
(44:10):
I think so.
He's classic style like that.
Not that I know anything about cigarettes.
Would he be into a Cuban?
Maybe? I don't know.
I don't know cigarettes that well.
So you know what? Yes.
Cubans are like those high quality cigars, you know?
I don't think he'd do cigars.
What are cigars?
Not just fancy cigarettes at that point.
Yeah, but they're more expensive.
I mean, yeah, but if one has been offered to you freely,
(44:31):
your unconscious mind would be like, nicotine, nicotine.
Yeah, if it's offered to you.
He's very much not a I would go out and buy this,
but he comes across the character would absolutely be like,
you could pay him off with some.
Well, I wouldn't say pay him off,
but he might look somewhere else while you do something.
He has to light a cigarette.
A cigar, I should say.
(44:52):
It's always cigarette break time in my book.
Dude was walking around a convention smoking,
for crying out loud.
You had a child on his back and he was smoking.
You taught them how to light a cigarette.
This is your comeuppance for teaching a child to light a cigarette.
I mean, now they know they can make fire.
I guess so.
I guess you've taught a valuable child,
(45:12):
a valuable skill to this child and then lost them.
I didn't lose them.
We just got beat up.
Whatever.
It's the Juggernaut's turn.
If I pull out a cartoon cigar, will he wake up?
Hmm.
It's like Popeye spinach for me.
I mean, you could definitely try on your turn.
I'm going.
I'm going to try it on my turn.
(45:32):
All right.
But first, the Juggernaut is going to get an attack.
Because clearly I need someone's psychic powers to fix this.
Two damage is coming at you, Felicia.
Oh, dang.
I'm injured now because I have five HP.
Yep.
That's injured.
Okay.
You know what?
Screw it.
I'm not going to wake him up.
I'm going to go brawler mode now.
He's pushed it.
All right.
Juggernaut basically just kind of laid in
(45:53):
quite a few more punches on you, Felicia.
So you're hurting a bit.
But it is your turn.
All right.
I'm going gear three.
Oh, no.
Not gear three.
Increase the size of my fist and just wallop him.
All right.
That's going to be brawn and melee.
Yeah.
One success.
All right.
Well, if you were trying to do the cartoon blow on your thumb to increase your fist size,
(46:19):
you do it a little bit.
You land a punch right on the Juggernaut, but it appears to do no damage.
All right.
Well, Felicia, bad news.
Two damage is coming at you.
Oh, no.
I have one HP.
I am unconscious now.
Oh, no.
No, no.
That puts me at three.
No, I'm still unconscious, but now I have.
Okay.
(46:39):
You look up sort of battered and bruised as the Juggernaut lands a haymaker right on your head.
You fall down unconscious.
However, the Juggernaut also Jokered.
I'm going to say that he ripped his underwear again.
As one final act, his pants just fall down King Hippo style.
So he won that battle for sure, but he's kind of embarrassed right now.
(47:00):
Well, the two of you are unconscious.
Yep.
So that means combat's over.
Bet you weren't expecting a TPK this soon.
Uh, nope.
Definitely not.
Well, I guess we'll see what happens then next time on Space Kings.
(47:32):
Oh, boy.
That's interesting.
Like the first real combat that's ended in failure.
Yeah, you've usually been very good at combat, but, uh, this guy wrecked you.
Yeah, we usually, we usually find some way around this time.
No, no.
Yeah, there's nothing.
The other thing I could have done was actually, you know, attack,
(47:53):
but I was like, no, I don't want you to.
I love that Ozzy took the,
I am going to destroy this man's entire belief system.
Yeah, and I was hoping.
Yeah, I feel like unfortunately, because of psychic powers here,
I don't think there's anything I could have done to have assisted actually in that moment.
And if we had that level of communication, I think maybe we could have done something.
Yeah, but staying in character, she just kept trying to do her own thing while he
(48:16):
kept doing his thing.
And then for like a moment, both plans crossed.
Then they went, you know, so far away from each other.
It's like, okay, now you're unconscious.
Now I'm unconscious and we're, and we lost.
Yeah, they're very much like, oh, I'm just with you.
We're not a team.
Anyway, I don't know them, which most likely will change in the near future.
But right now it's very much like, oh, I'm stuck with you.
(48:41):
Reluctant partners.
Now that the child's not here, it's just like, well.
Well, the two of you can get a Hero Point from me
because I feel like you might need it.
Please for all that is holy, let us be fully healed
for the next campaign on the next session.
I make no promises.
That's fair.
Let's start with Ozzy.
(49:01):
What was something Felicia did that was heroic?
Gave that big old concussion.
That's true.
Felicia did land the best attack, I think, of the match.
Just wrecked it.
And you got to give credit for, I almost said Wilbur,
for Ozzy's mentally destroying, just breaking this dude down mentally.
Oh yeah.
I'm not sure what the end game of that was.
(49:22):
But the end game's not there yet.
Fight's not over.
Well, I won't say that that ended exactly as I thought
because again, I had a feeling you would kind of win the day as always.
But no, we have to come to grips with the fact that you're not invincible.
Yeah, I guess this is the first step in trying to work as a team because wow.
Doesn't help that I'm a brawler character who didn't do any brawling.
(49:44):
I think the other thing is that, like,
yeah, you try to do the cartoon, like, I gotta create something.
But you have no wit, which is very much the creative skill.
Yeah.
Yeah, and we didn't talk once.
She's an actress, she's not a writer or director.
Yeah, that is another thing.
She improvs her role, not the general scenarios.
Right.
(50:04):
Yeah.
She goes into an improv session still being told like,
hey, here's the character you have to pretend to be.
So she's not used to doing this hero stuff naturally.
Right.
Well, maybe that's your character arc,
is to learn to be an actual hero and not just play one on TV.
Oh, I should probably stop recording.
Oh, yeah, I should probably do the same.
(50:25):
Oh, I should do that.
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space Kings system,
(50:47):
developed and published by SuperTry Studios.
You can learn more about this game or buy it yourself at supertry.itch.io
slash space kings.
Follow us on blue sky at livelaughloot.bsky.social
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast@gmail.com.
Our intro music is Out of Control by Chill Carrier,
(51:07):
and our outro music is One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description to find out what other songs played this episode
or to check licensing information.
To learn more about this podcast or listen to more episodes,
check us out at livelaughloot.libsyn.com.
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