July 17, 2025 • 53 mins
After escaping Sayonara Station, Felicia gets some unexpected news, Ozzy tangos with the long arm of the law, and the two uncover (hold your surprise) some corruption in the police force.
Currently Playing: Space Kings
LIVE LAUGH LOOT IS:
AyItsGreyJ (he/him) as GM
GamingNavi (she/they) as Felicia Fox
Wolfkaosaun (he/him) as Ozzy
MUSIC THIS EPISODE:
Marantz PMD221 Stereo Summing Test by HOME
Out of Control by Chill Carrier (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
Stepping Over the Line by Sergey Cheremisinov (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx (licensed under CC BY-NC 3.0)
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug, and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then, uh, don't watch the show.
Okay, bye!
Alright, we're headed back to the Solar System?
Yeah, you technically never left; the space station was in orbit at Saturn.
Ah yes, famously known solid not gas giant planet Saturn.
Yeah, that one.
Yeah, you're not- well, you know- shut up, it's cool science stuff.
(00:28):
Yeah, well, piss off, anyway.
Oh, you want to point out scientific plot holes in my story?
Well, I got one for ya.
Fuck you.
I got one, there was an animatronic bear, maybe.
I thought he was a-
We don't know.
Was it a bear?
We were very confused on it.
I always, like, kind of thought of him as a bear.
I knew there was a raccoon.
(00:49):
I thought he was a- I thought Wilbur was a dog.
I thought of him as a bear.
Wait, was he- I don't-
You had bear hands, so I guess-
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For some bear-handed combat.
Ayo.
This is why I drink.
Wow, just that?
Just that?
What about when things actually go wrong?
(01:10):
Yeah, you know what, you got me there.
We better hope nothing does go wrong,
because if this drives him to drink,
I don't want him to think about what that would cause him to do.
Confound those puns, they drive me to drink.
I can't stop.
Previously on Live Laugh Loot.
Bobby Lambino appeared holding Carley captive
and demanded the crew surrender,
(01:31):
and they responded with a hammer toss
and telekinetic recovery which knocked the lamb unconscious.
But due to Ozzy's slowly deteriorating zombie rabies rattled mind,
he let slip that he was contracted to kill the Juggernaut,
which brought the mood down a bit.
Geena took Bobby Lambino into custody
and requested that the two party members come with her,
which they obliged, taking the escape pods away
(01:51):
to head back to the moon Titan and finally get some answers.
(02:15):
So we're gonna do a minor, minor time skip.
We're back on Titan.
In the time between last episode and now,
everybody went to a hospital.
You can put yourself at full health.
If anybody still had a bomb in their head, that is removed.
So you can eliminate that from your...
(02:36):
I think mine is already gone.
Yours was deactivated, but it was not removed.
It is now removed.
You're safe in case that ever went off.
It's now out of your head.
And Ozzy, you are cured, finally, of zombie rabies,
which means your Brawn is set back down to two
and your Intelligence is now back up to four.
(02:57):
I remember everything.
So you're feeling better in the head.
I won't say you're feeling great in the head,
but you're feeling better.
Yeah, I remember a lot of terrible things that happened.
You say it ever so casually.
You just wake up from your bomb surgery and without zombie rabies,
and you're like, oh, God.
Well, poop.
(03:17):
So you all got medically okayed.
You're out of the hospital.
Now the both of you are in a building in downtown Titan.
We're going to open this session with Felicia,
who is hanging out in the lobby of what looks like a police station.
As soon as you had a free moment,
you wanted to call your agent because a lot of things are going on.
(03:40):
You kind of don't even know where you are anymore.
And you need to figure stuff out, call some people.
Right. Hold on.
Darling, do you have a dime I can borrow for the pay phone?
What do you mean you don't have a pay phone?
There's a cop right next to you who he's like,
oh, I'm terrible
sorry, ma'am.
You know, our phone's down.
I'm going to have to like get you on one of our desk lines here.
(04:03):
And he walks around the lobby is like,
anybody got a spare phone for this Miss Felicia Fox there?
And all the cops just want to shake their head like, nope.
And it's like, sorry, ma'am.
We don't have a available phone right now.
Don't you darlings understand who I am?
I am Felicia Fox, one of the greatest cartoon foxes ever created.
(04:26):
And I have to talk to my agent.
I cannot be held up and hold my studio responsible for this.
Well, I mean, I think there might be a pay phone outside,
but you know, I got to come with you there, bud.
Let's go.
You walk out into the street.
It's pretty, like, midday.
So I'm not sure how warm or cold would it be.
Just assume it's a nice summer day.
(04:47):
That's kind of the vibe.
You are not in a familiar part of town.
This is more like- To be fair,
if she's not on a studio set, her mansion / trailer or convention,
nothing is familiar to her.
Okay, fair enough.
So Felicia, you're on a city street for maybe the first time.
It's noisy.
There are lots of people
and there are lights everywhere, even though it's noon.
(05:11):
It's awful.
What a pain in the neck.
You, gumshoe, where's the pay phone?
I need to go make a call.
Oh, it's over here, ma'am.
Just follow me.
We'll get you right up there, bud.
And he lead you over-
Is he from Canada or Minnesota?
I mean- at first I thought it was like some kind of Irish accent.
Who can tell?
It's flexible.
(05:31):
Who cares?
I'm trying to do Canadian,
but obviously as an American, it's hard to get it right.
This guy lead you over to a nearby pay phone
and he's like,
uh, let me see if I got some change in my pocket there.
Now he's like full Irish.
All right.
Let me just-
I'm gonna do a quick flip to see if this cop has any change in his pocket.
(05:53):
He got a Jack.
That's enough for you to make one phone call.
Cool.
Calling my agent now.
All right.
Felicia, you get into the booth.
You put in the coins.
The pay phone says,
thank you for feeding me.
And you are allowed to make the call.
Hello, Jackson.
Hello, darling.
Yes, I'm finally free, but I'm stuck on the moon of Titan.
It's not my fault.
(06:14):
I don't want to be here either.
I understand.
Unfortunately, I'm stuck in a bit of a police matter right now
and will they have me tied up right now?
Could you send some of the boys down to come get me?
Oh, and tell Betty and Floyd that I'm really sorry for holding them up.
I'll give them my love and I'll see them when I get back.
You say all that.
(06:35):
Jackson on the other line is like,
Felicia, is that you?
Oh my god.
Hey, Felicia.
It's great to hear your voice, babe.
I mean, how you doing?
How am I doing?
I just said I'm in police custody right now.
What do you think?
Yeah, that's kind of a doozy.
I mean, Felicia,
(06:56):
I really hate to be the one to tell you this,
but I don't think we're going to be able to help you in this case.
Excuse me?
I'm not even here for something I did.
I got held up in someone else's Investigation.
Now they're holding me here.
It's like a witness or something.
Get me out of here.
I have better things to do and you know it.
(07:19):
Look, Felicia, you were broadcast on TV on an underground fight ring.
You broke the law.
I didn't choose to be there.
They kidnapped me.
That's human trafficking.
Uh, cartoon trafficking in my case.
Look, Felicia, I'm sorry.
This news is not coming from me, all right?
I'm just the messenger.
This is coming from the CEO.
(07:39):
You know, the CEO of Space Disney.
He can't fire me.
It's the contract he wrote when he created me.
That's the thing, Felicia.
When we saw you on that fight ring, man, Blob Iger-
Gosh.
Of course.
Blob Iger was furious.
Felicia, you cast your mind back to Blob Iger, who is this giant mass of flesh.
(08:04):
I imagine like the CEO from Smiling Friends with Gwimbly.
I'm imagining that guy right now.
Yeah, that but like more visceral.
Basically just a mound of flesh that he's like behind a desk and like shuffling papers.
What kind of Resident Evil creature did you create?
It's Blob Iger.
(08:24):
No wonder he doesn't go out.
Anyway, Felicia, you've met Blob Iger.
You know that he has a temper that is as short as... something that's very short.
I couldn't think of a good metaphor.
I have a question.
Why isn't he suing the criminals who held me captive?
I didn't want to do any of that.
Look, Felicia, I'm sorry.
But as of today, your contract is null and void.
(08:47):
I'm not a dumb Dora.
You are not cutting me out this easily.
Felicia, I'm sorry.
But that's got to be the final word.
My hands are tied.
This is contract violation.
Well, you can take Space Disney on in court.
But I mean, you know what happens when people do that.
There's nothing I can do.
It's just that I got kidnapped and now suddenly everything's my fault.
(09:09):
I don't know what to tell you, Felicia.
I don't know what to tell you that could make this any better.
Just pass all the events onto him.
Maybe change his mind.
I was literally created to do this one thing.
I don't have an identity outside of this.
I was literally created for this very purpose.
You don't understand what saying this to me means.
I'm sorry, Felicia.
(09:29):
I want to help you.
I'm trying to smooth things over with Blob Iger.
But I don't really have a position to stand on.
And I believe you, Felicia, but to everybody else here,
you participated willingly in a fight ring.
I know you say that's not what happened, but...
None of that was willing.
It was fight or get killed.
What do you think my choice was?
I didn't have one.
(09:51):
I know, Felicia, but it's your word against the CEO of Space Disney's.
Yeah, the CEO of Space Disney who doesn't understand what happened.
We're literally in a police station about to tell them what happened.
We'll have it officialy on legal record.
Look, Felicia, I'll do what I can.
I can't make any promises.
I gotta go.
I'm sorry.
And you hear a click on the receiver.
(10:12):
Jackson has hung up.
Let's just get out.
She's just staying put.
Her face is just shrunk into slowly melting.
Yeah, slowly put the receiver back as the dial tone fades out.
And the payphone says, thank you for using Payphone Payphones.
Your one-stop shop for payphones since 2580.
(10:33):
This barely started and she's fired.
Felicia, you solemnly slunk out of the payphone.
And the cop looks at you like,
I guess that didn't go too good there, huh?
Her head's slowly going to turn around.
Now her reaction's like on the verge of insanity.
You boys in blue are going to do your job.
(10:53):
You're gonna get this all sorted out in a jiffy.
And then you're gonna make sure I get my job back.
I mean, you know, we'll do our best, ma'am.
But you know, we're doing all we can.
Her mouth is slowly forming.
It's like an insane smile with every syllable he makes.
This cop touches the walkie-talkie on his chest.
(11:15):
He's like, hey, can we get some backup out here?
Don't blow your wig.
Everything's all aces.
After all, things are gonna be fine, right?
Cut to the interior of the station,
where we are inside the office of Geena Radmist.
(11:39):
Geena is sat at a table.
The Juggernaut is standing nearby.
And Ozzy, we see you in the center of the room.
You have been questioned by them for quite a while.
You are not under arrest.
The vibe you're picking up is very much
I got called to the principal's office.
Geena has got her fingers on her temple rubbing.
(12:00):
It's like, so let me get this straight.
You were summoned to the Entertain-a-Thon to find somebody.
Originally, yeah.
And in order to get in, you tried to get tickets from a scalper who told you,
hey, I'll let you get in if you kill the Juggernaut.
(12:20):
And you accepted.
Do I have that right?
I mean, yeah.
I mean, that's what I said I would do.
And, you know, I mean, in a way, I kind of just killed his psyche.
So like I killed the bad Juggernaut.
So technically, I did what I had to.
The bad Juggernaut.
I mean, he's a different person, right?
He's not the same one you saw in there mushing faces.
So gotta look at the... *sigh*
(12:41):
Ozzy, you've had a lot of time to think since you were cured of the zombie rabies.
And there is a question lingering in your mind.
It's like, why the hell did I accept that in the first place?
And did I really try to kill the Juggernaut or just pretended to to get tickets?
And he's like kind of talking to himself in front of them.
Well, I mean, if I really think about it, I think.
(13:02):
But then again, no, I think I definitely didn't want to.
But then again, I think I kind of.
Oh, the kid was there.
And that would have been...
Mr. Ostrich- do you have a last name, sir?
Yes, Ozzy Eisenhower.
Mr. Eisenhower.
Thank you.
All right, go on.
Can you tell us anything about this person who hired you?
Who they were, their name even?
(13:24):
And I will say you were given a name.
I don't know if you remember it.
No, I do not.
Well, can I have my detective hat?
It usually helps me help think.
It's been a long day.
I got some stuff on my teeth that I don't want to think about what it might be.
I'm still coming down from some not fun stuff.
All right, I just did a quick worldbuilding flip
(13:45):
to see if your personal effects that were missing were recovered.
Yes, they found your hat.
You have been given that.
So you are hatted once again.
All right.
Thank you.
This is going to help.
Does not give him any more Intelligence.
You just need it for...
No, what does it give you?
Plus Empathy.
More Empathy.
That's right.
Yep.
I think you've probably lost your club.
(14:06):
Yes, I don't think you had that anymore.
Nope.
That is very much gone.
You also have a laser revolver and a Glock.
You kept that.
You got that on the space-
Oh, absolutely.
I kept that.
It has five bullets left.
The revolver does.
I had to shoot one.
Yes, the laser revolver is five.
The Glock has three, I have.
Ozzy, if you would like to try and rack your brain
to remember everything about the person who hired you and what happened,
(14:29):
that would be Intelligence and either Investigation or Spacewise.
We're going to do Investigation because I had that fully.
Also, what is Sleuthing and Eclectic again?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So Sleuthing is plus one to Investigation or combat flips
if you know the name of the target.
(14:51):
Dang it.
Which I'm going to say you cannot be your own target
even though this is a memory flip.
So that doesn't count right now.
And Eclectic is you get plus one to, I think,
the first Practice or Mastery skill you use once per session,
which for Investigation, that is.
So you get plus one for this flip.
(15:13):
OK, so I get all my Intelligence.
OK, so Intelligence, Investigation,
and it's plus two because I'm healthy, right?
Or is it plus one?
Plus one because you're healthy.
Plus one for Eclectic.
Oh, gosh, that's 10 cards.
Let's go, baby.
Let's do it.
Big flip.
10 cards and four successes.
Ooh, yeah, baby.
One, two, three, four.
Yeah, that's four.
Ozzy, you do remember the name of this person
(15:35):
because they said it offhandedly
and you did brush them off,
but you remember them saying their name was Ronnie.
Oh, yeah, it was this dude named Ronnie.
Weird guy.
I mean, obviously he's weird.
He's asked me to kill somebody in the ring,
which honestly, I'm going to be honest,
it sounds like he was just some crazy,
you know how those wrestling fans could be.
They want their favorites to win
(15:57):
and they're like,
oh, by any means necessary.
You know how that is, how the kids are,
even though he wasn't a kid, but could have been.
You also remember some physical details about this guy.
He was pretty short
and you're sure you noticed some fur,
even though he was trying to hide his head
and his face and all that.
You're pretty damn sure you noticed some fur.
(16:18):
Oh, yeah, he's pretty furry, by the way.
He's trying to hide the fur
because I don't know why.
Honestly, just be yourself, dude.
Trying to hide what he was, I guess.
Actually, he was trying to hide a lot of things.
Then again, he was trying to hire me to kill somebody.
Anyway, so yeah, that was the thing that happened.
Yeah, there you go.
That's what I remember and you're welcome.
Geena's been writing all of these details.
(16:39):
And is like, right, a guy named Ronnie
probably has fur.
No, he does have fur.
He was hiding it.
Oh, sorry, scratches that out.
Does have fur.
That's like he like glued fur to himself
and then like, you know, put the coat on,
which honestly, I'll give it back.
Not helping your case right now, buddy.
Geena's like, we'll just keep it as "has fur" for now
(17:01):
and figure that out later.
That's a good idea
because you know, he probably does have fur.
Mr. Eisenhower.
I love that that's your last name, by the way.
I gotta write that down.
So good.
Mr. Eisenhower, do you know who we are?
I mean, you gave me your names in the beginning, so...
Not that.
Do you know who we work for?
Is it Space Disney?
No, it is not Space Disney.
(17:23):
Oh, then I don't really...
Who do I look like?
Blob Iger?
Come on.
No, you don't have to.
First of all, Bob...
Actually, I'm not even gonna say anything mean
because last time I did,
got a little bit of a copy strike.
Not even a copyright, just a copy strike.
That's what they do, they copy strikes.
Yeah, but anyway,
you're obviously investigators and like cops and stuff
and you're investigating me.
(17:44):
I mean, we're two peas in the same can.
We're a little more than a cops.
Both Geena and Douglas pull out some ID badges
and flash them at you.
We're with the ICC.
And Ozzy, you are well familiar with the ICC.
They're basically Space FBI.
Yeah, cool.
You know, I wanted to be one of you before
but there was a lot of tests that I had to do
and I'm gonna be honest, not my cup of tea.
(18:07):
I'm not saying like, you know, it was like hard.
It's just tests were too early.
I understand, Mr. Eisenhower.
We've been trying to bust underground fight rings
for quite some time.
Our associate here, Mr. Juggernaut,
was been undercover in these fight rings
trying to figure out who's behind them.
And it seems like although I'm sure it was by happenstance
(18:28):
or rather you were assigned to kill them,
you did happen upon our friend here
as he was mind controlled to take part in these fights.
So I guess we have to thank you for that.
You're welcome.
The Juggernaut gives you like a simple nod
that basically says like,
I'm just gonna acknowledge you.
I'm still maybe a little peeved at what you said,
as in you tried to kill me.
(18:50):
That's fine.
You know, I get it.
I understand.
He just gives you a manly nod of acknowledgement.
Hey, thanks, dude.
But yeah, no, you know, it was, you know,
no problem whatsoever.
I mean, I actually know it was.
I got knocked out, as you can see on TV,
which, by the way, I can definitely fight better than that.
It's just, you know, going easy on him
because, you know, his daughter was in the crowd and yeah.
(19:12):
The Juggernaut says,
You used telepathy to tell me that I was responsible
for all the sins I committed in the ring.
Well, I mean, you are.
You got mind controlled.
So like, that's kind of your fault.
Just like I'm in charge of like, you know,
me getting zombie rabies and that terrible joke
I tried to do with the ventriloquism.
It didn't work out too well.
And, you know, I see the thing is like,
sure, it wasn't fully my fault,
(19:33):
but also because I put myself in that situation
and it didn't go too well.
So, you know, my sins are still like, you know,
out and about because like, trust me,
people are not going to forget that image.
Can you please do a Presence and Spacewise flip to
for this tough guy demeanor, or Presence and Persuasion,
whichever one you want to do.
Uh, okay.
They're both okay.
(19:54):
So that's gonna be five.
Success and a Joker.
Excellente.
Yeah, this is fine.
I'm trying to like,
I'm playing the character as in like,
they're still coming down from the zombie rabies.
So like those little like hints of like,
chaos are still coming out.
Yeah.
Which isn't working out too well for him.
I'm going to hold that Joker for now.
But you got one success.
You said one success.
(20:15):
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
We didn't discuss who's the anti-Joker this week.
I thought we did.
Well, I sent a message saying like,
hey, who wants it?
I think we gave it to Sean.
Yeah.
You know, I'm using it.
Why not?
Are you using it?
No Joker.
Yeah, no joke.
Get rid of that Joker.
Alright, Ozzy.
He needs a win.
Alrighty.
So the Joker is shot.
You got one success.
Geena and the Juggernaut just look at each other.
(20:37):
Like, do we push him more?
And they just sort of sigh and it's like,
all right, Mr. Eisenhower,
we'll figure out how we can proceed with this
as soon as we're done interrogating Mr. Lambino.
If you could just stick around-
And as she says that,
there's a knock at the office door
and the door opens and another cop leaves
and is like, hey, ma'am,
(20:57):
sorry to bother you,
but that lamb criminal you had in,
yeah, he escaped.
Geena's just like sipping her coffee
and just spits it out
and is like, what?
He just said they got out.
I heard him.
What do you mean he escaped?
And this cop's like, yeah,
he kind of busted through the wall there.
This is not the same cop
(21:18):
that was with Felicia, by the way.
But I'm just going to say they all talk
like Canadian, Irish, Minnesotan.
They all have the same voice,
same everything.
Vaguely Midwest.
Maybe they're all clones of each other.
You know what?
I'm into that.
I vibe with it.
Geena and the Juggernaut look at each other
and immediately bolt out of their seats.
But Geena looks at you, Ozzy,
(21:38):
giving you a look that says, come with us.
Oh, me?
Yeah, okay.
And Ozzy's going to grab his hat.
He's going to follow.
Ozzy, you got your hat.
You walk out.
Geena and the Juggernaut and this cop
and you walk down across the way
to some prison cells.
They open the door to one of them.
You can see the cell is empty
(21:59):
and the window seems to be
ripped out of its holding place.
Why did you put him in a place
with a window and then leave him alone?
We had a guard posted out here.
Where did the guy go?
And is it at that point that Felicia,
you and the cop you were with come back
is like, hey, sorry, Miss Fox here
had to take a phone call.
(22:19):
Did I miss something here?
And he looks into the room
that now has no criminal on a broken window
and he's like, oh, golly,
I'm going to get chewed out over this one.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hey, Felicia.
How you doing?
Uh, yeah, probably.
Hi, how you doing?
Ozzy, you see Felicia is twitching.
(22:40):
Her eye is like super dilated,
shaking with nervous, frantic energy.
You can hear like the whole like
steam whistle sound as like
steam rises from her ears.
You, uh, you alright there?
Aces, darling, Aces.
I don't know what that means,
but it sounds pretty cool.
Okay, look, I'm just messing around with you.
(23:02):
I'm trying to put a smile on your face.
Look, I don't got the rabies anymore.
Uh, but remember that, uh,
lamb that I should have shot in the head?
They left.
An interesting way of putting it, they left.
And then he's going to point to the, uh, window being open.
Is it open or is it like actually torn out?
It was torn out.
Like imagine like Old West style,
tie a rope around the bar
(23:22):
and, uh, run with your horse to pull the bar out.
Kind of like that, but more destructive.
Okay.
Terrifying.
Love that.
So, uh, not looking too great.
So can you finally tell me about that?
I had something stuck in my throat.
Can you finally tell me about that person?
Because you kind of refused for the longest time.
Yeah, I guess I probably should tell you.
(23:45):
He's with the Muttonmouths
and Ozzy, as a private investigator,
you're familiar with the Muttonmouths.
Maybe not yourself.
You maybe haven't investigated their cases,
but you know that they're a major crime syndicate
across the Solar System.
Oh, okay.
Well, how involved?
Oh, he's a capo.
Great.
(24:05):
Great.
Love that for literally all of us.
Yeah, and I imagine that anybody who went against him
is probably not in a great position
because he is a very vengeful capo.
Oh, no, I know.
I know.
You do? Geena says.
Well, I haven't really dealt with them personally,
but I do know about them.
And, uh, well, this ain't good, especially for me.
(24:28):
No, this isn't good.
And then Geena looks at you, Felicia.
Um, Ms. Fox, are you doing all right?
Where you are very clearly not doing all right.
Why wouldn't I be, you screwball?
Damn.
Can you do a Charm and Lying flip
(24:50):
to keep up this "I'm fine" facade?
I mean, she's not fine.
She's trying not to hurt anyone.
I know, but you are lying.
You are most decidedly not fine.
So Charm is two and Lying.
Okay, that's five cards.
Oh, dear God, please.
All failures.
Cool.
Everyone else in the room looks at each other like,
(25:11):
yeah, Felicia's obviously not fine.
Honestly, good.
That was what I was hoping was happening.
Hey, I mean, yeah, whatever you wanted to happen,
technically the Lie flip failed.
Yeah.
Geena's like, what happened there, sweetie?
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
Because I got kidnapped thanks to this stupid bird,
(25:32):
I am currently out of work.
And now I need all of you to do your jobs
so I can get my record clean,
so I might get my job back.
First time getting fired?
I was created to be a complete corporate entity,
to be thrown into a dark, cold vault
(25:52):
when I wasn't profitable.
And now they're firing me.
This was not in the cards.
I mean, let's be honest.
Do you want to go in a vault?
Yes, there's others of us in there.
I wouldn't be alone.
I mean, you're not alone right now.
You got us.
Is that really the argument you think it is?
It's not really an argument.
I'm just speaking truth.
(26:14):
I mean, I'm here.
They're here.
You're wanting us to help.
And look, let me tell you something.
I know what it's like to not have the big man care about me.
But look.
Your literal god and creator doesn't care about you.
What?
No, I'm not talking about anything.
No, I'm talking about-
What?
No, I'm not talking about you.
(26:34):
Listen, listen, listen.
Him trying to relate is so hard.
Listen, listen, listen.
Look, I never told anyone this,
but I've never been fired.
So I don't know exactly what you're going through,
but what I can tell you right here, right now,
is that just because someone built you to be something
doesn't mean that's what you have to be.
(26:55):
You get to choose what you get to do.
And if someone wants to fire you,
screw it.
Fire them.
Become their boss.
You know, you're the one.
You want these movies, you make your own movies.
You want me to overthrow Space Disney?
I don't want you to overthrow them.
I want you to overtake them.
And how do you expect to do that?
I don't know.
You're the one who knows better than I do.
No, I don't.
Oh, well.
(27:18):
Darling, literally created to be an asset.
Not a full-on employee, not management,
not like you, literally meant to fulfill a job
that they created for me to do.
And then to do that forever.
I'm not supposed to stop dancing,
and now I'm supposed to stop dancing.
I mean, you did actually know you did say you were going to.
Anyway, look, these are semantics at this point.
(27:41):
I really appreciate the moment.
Don't get me wrong.
Oh, I know.
I don't mean to ruin your flow.
It's just...
No, no, Ozzy's not very good at this.
Not only is he not good,
the scenario is complete...
All right, look, listen.
Her saying her God / creator basically giving up on her
isn't far off.
All right, look.
We can talk about this later.
(28:02):
We got a freaking lamb on the run
who, I'm going to be honest,
probably wants to freaking kill me.
Would you say he's...
...on the lamb?
Oh!
See, just because you got fired
doesn't mean you can't make those jokes.
No, immediately after she said that,
she goes- her face just flops right back down.
Hey, turn that frown.
(28:23):
Felicia, you hear a rim shot,
but it just sort of like fades into nothing in your brain.
Like [RIMSHOT WITH A SAD FINAL HIT].
Oh gosh, even I heard that.
That's how audible her depression is.
Felicia, you've got like a cartoon storm cloud
above your head that's just raining on you.
Space Kings episode whatever,
the episode where Felicia gets depressed.
(28:44):
Yeah, man, I know.
I know what that's like, kind of.
Okay, look.
You want to help me find this lamb
so like I don't die?
Look, I'm trying to like, you know,
not focus on this.
And honestly, I don't really,
he's going to look at everyone else.
Obviously, I'm going to be honest.
I don't really, you know,
(29:04):
think that they're going to come for me, number one.
I know that they will eventually,
but like not right this moment.
Saying that right now,
so in case it does happen.
I look like a genius, but anyway.
But Felicia, look, be who you want to be.
Make the moves that you want to make.
I want to be what I was meant to be.
And now they won't let me be the thing I was meant to be.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(29:25):
No, there's no "meant to be this" bullshit.
All right, look-
and he's going to pull out a pack of cigarettes.
Good, good.
You see this right here?
This was meant to be smoked, right?
This right here, look at it.
It had to be smoked, right?
Felicia, you acknowledge that, yes,
a cigarette was meant to be smoked.
Yep.
Okay, but you see all these pieces
(29:46):
that came together to make it.
Not all of them were always made to do that.
They are made just to exist.
So this tobacco, people chew it.
You think I'm going to chew this cigarette?
No, you were made for one thing, sure, whatever.
But you choose what you do now.
You have the kind of freedom that, you have freedom
that no one else in that vault has ever had.
(30:08):
Do it for them.
This is almost such good advice
that I almost want to make you flip for it.
Okay, I mean-
Yeah, Charm or Presence and Empathy.
Yeah, I have some Empathy now.
Do I have Charm at all?
No.
No, Presence it is.
Yeah, one Charm and two Presence.
Like a Charm one would probably be like
(30:28):
you're trying to comfort.
A Presence would be like a, hey, snap out of it.
Yeah, alright, so that's four cards.
Plus one for your hat, yes, I think.
Yeah, it's four cards.
Thought it was five.
Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.
Yeah, you don't have any Empathy points.
What am I saying?
You only have the one because of the hat.
So it is four.
Yeah, I have one success out of all that.
All right, I don't know how much that would help
(30:50):
in this situation because Felicia is shaken to hell and back right now.
At the very least, Felicia, you hear Ozzy
and you can at least tell that he is genuinely trying to help you
or at least cheer you up for the time being.
She's going to humor him and go along with it,
but she's not feeling better.
It's not helping, but you at least can feel that he's trying to be genuine.
(31:13):
Trying.
Let's just, let's get this over with and find your lamb.
It's not mine.
He's going to start smoking the cigarette.
I thought you said you weren't going to smoke it.
What?
No, I said, I don't think you-.
I was using all the pieces of it and saying
that it can be whatever it wants to be
and he's going to like grab another cigarette
and throw it on the ground.
(31:34):
See, that was not going to be smoked by me now.
One of the cops picks it up and is like,
hey, no littering inside the police station there.
Oh, sorry.
He's going to pick it up and put it back in the pack.
We've told you to like fart in here a hundred times.
Stop throwing your cigarettes on the ground.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I've been dropping them.
(31:55):
Okay.
Zombie rabies.
Whatever you're doing,
cut it out.
It's not right.
I'm going to say one of them is full Irish.
The other one is more Canadian Midwestern.
That's fair.
Okay.
Sorry.
Also, wait, why weren't you here watching the lamb?
Well, I had to take this one out to take her phone call.
Oh, why didn't you just use your cell phone?
That's a good question.
(32:16):
Are we unraveling the mystery
without even having to leave the police station?
The cop just sort of stares at you, Ozzy,
and he's like, that's a pretty smart mouth you got there, sir.
I mean, you did get away.
Yeah, and whose fault is that?
And Geena looks at the cop and is like, it's yours, dumbass.
Yeah, and I mean, like, let's be honest.
Like, you obviously went to the one who's made from the...
(32:38):
I don't really know when your cartoon was created.
I'm sorry.
One day I'll learn.
But...
She's a couple hundred years old.
But, you know, you went to the one
who doesn't even know that cell phones exist.
And Ozzy's gonna pull out his cell phone.
Like, even I have one.
Do you have a cell phone?
Me?
No, not you.
Oh, the cop.
(32:58):
I'm going to say the cop seems to be like a little flustered.
Yeah, I got a cell phone.
What of it?
All right.
So why didn't you let her use your phone to make a phone call?
Because she's not under arrest.
Can both of you do a Wit or Intelligence and Investigation flip right now?
Uh, so I can only do one.
Yeah, I'm only doing one.
(33:19):
I'm only doing both.
Six of clubs.
Remember, because you're helping.
So I get to draw a whole 'nother card.
Seven of hearts.
Dang.
All right.
So do I do Intelligence and Investigation or just one?
Intelligence or Wit and Investigation.
So either Intelligence or Wit and Investigation.
Oh, it's Intelligence / Investigation, baby.
That's nine cards.
(33:39):
Oh, I should have asked him for his name.
All right.
That's three successes.
All right.
Felicia, you are listening to this cop, but you're not really listening.
You're just thinking about losing your job.
She's gotta get it back,
or she won't be able to see Floyd and Betty as much.
You could really do with a hug from Floyd and / or Betty right now.
But Ozzy, you just sort of narrow your eyes.
(34:02):
You ask the question about why the cop didn't use his cell phone.
And this cop is very, very, very clearly hiding something.
You can see his sweat start to form.
And he's like, uh, I mean, look, my, my cell phone was, uh, in my office,
which I, I, I couldn't get to the office because I, um, I needed to...
(34:25):
Empty your pockets.
Let me see how this cop responds.
Well, he flipped no successes and a Joker.
I think slowlym
you just have to accept this guy's probably like an inside man for the mob or whatever.
This, uh, this guy is like, uh, I- and he looks at Geena who was like,
yeah, maybe you should empty your pockets, Connor.
(34:46):
And the cop is like, uh, uh, uh, I just realized I have to be.
I would like to grab hold of his leg mid-sentence.
So he to try and hold them down.
She may be depressed, but even she could tell what's about to go down.
I'm going to say that's Agility / Melee.
Okay.
So that's three plus two plus one, Ace, Queen, Queen, Joker, Jack, Ace.
(35:12):
Ooh, that's five successes plus a Joker.
Yes.
How does that work?
What is the math?
Damn.
I've gotten this, like, I could have tried charming on the phone with this
and like increase my odds of getting my job back.
True.
But to be fair, you're going to grab the hell out of this person.
(35:32):
Felicia, you do momentarily snap out of your stupor
and probably even like channel the rage you're feeling at Space Disney for abandoning you.
And you just like- Possibly abandoning, you know, Jackson said he'd pass the news up.
There's a chance they might get it through.
And once the cops do their job, that might help straighten things out.
(35:53):
There's a chance.
I'm rooting for that thought.
Well, you channel your rage at something.
I don't know.
Anyway, you just immediately like kind of just push Connor the cop against the door to the
cell and you're just staring daggers into his eyes.
You can hear like a wolf growl even though you're a fox, a wolf growl coming from you.
(36:15):
And you're like, empty your pockets.
Connor the cop is like pissing his pants right now.
He is very terrified and he is like, uh, um, I, uh, I- smoke bomb!
And then he reaches into his pocket and throws something onto the ground.
Smoke fills the air.
(36:35):
I need everybody to do a Brawn and Biology flip.
King, failure, failure, failure.
I got the Queen of Hearts.
I got to do it for every other NPC.
So I got to do some flips.
Hold on a second.
Just going to go through the entire deck right here, right now.
So remind me, how much did everybody get?
I got one success.
(36:57):
I got the Queen of Hearts.
All right.
So that's two for you.
Um, Felicia, you hold your hand over your mouth as the smoke starts to rise.
So it doesn't get into your lungs.
Ozzy, you also avoid the smoke, but you- before Connor the cop can run out
You both grab him by the arms and, uh, throw him down onto the floor.
(37:19):
Cause you got two.
The Juggernaut got three successes.
Connor only got one to escape.
So the room is fulling up with smoke, but also because there was a giant gaping hole
in the wall, it sort of diffuses out of the room pretty quickly.
Well, did some of it good.
Do you even have a phone in there?
In the process of tackling Connor to the ground, basically everything falls out of
(37:39):
pockets, including a cell phone, and a folded piece of paper.
And Ozzy, would you like to pick that up and read it?
Oh, absolutely.
He's reading it.
All right.
I'm a nosy bird.
You're a what?
I'm a nosy bird.
Nosy bird.
I just want to know about things.
Ozzy, you pick up this note and it reads at exactly 12:01 PM.
(38:00):
I'm gonna - you can hear this in Bobby Lambino's voice - at exactly 12:01 PM,
Titan Standard Time.
I'm going to bust out of the wall with my friends.
And you're going to make sure that nobody else is in the room when it happens.
Signed, Bobby Lambino.
P.S. Please shred this piece of paper.
You never made it to your room because you didn't even shred this.
(38:21):
Oh, wait.
I forgot.
You don't litter.
That's right.
This is the cop who told you not to litter.
And Ozzy is going to drop it to the ground.
Connor is too scared to react appropriately.
That's fair.
Look, I'll do whatever you want, but please stop littering.
Look, you're going to tell me everything you know about this lamb chop.
(38:44):
Oh, okay.
All right.
I'll tell you.
Just leave me alone, please.
Not until you tell me.
And he's going to pull out a cigarette.
Oh, yeah.
This is a no smoking zone.
He drops a cigarette.
Oops.
Oh, no, not litter.
I hate litter.
Oh, my back hurts.
I don't think I can bend down and get it.
(39:07):
Such a shame.
Connor starts crying.
So, you're going to tell me.
Or do I have to?
No, you don't want to see what I'm going to do next.
He's going to put his foot over the cigarette.
He's not going to step on it yet, but he's going to put it over.
No, anything but that.
Anything but that.
Go on.
All right.
Look, I was told to let Bobby Lambino run free.
(39:31):
Why?
He paid me a lot of money.
Who?
The Muttonmouths did.
The what?
The Muttonmouths.
That's the mafia group.
Yeah, remember, Felicia wasn't here for that part.
Oh, true.
Oh, true, true, true.
OK, sorry.
Yeah, I thought that was out of character.
I wasn't there for that part.
But in her instance, she has no idea what's being discussed.
(39:52):
This is all new to her.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Well, I can go to the whole lore thing later for you.
But how much are they giving you?
Like... five bucks?
Those bastards.
Can't even pay a livable wage.
Actually, with the exchange rate, it actually-
No, no, no, no, you don't have to lie.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
(40:12):
I'm a screw up.
You are.
I'm getting a little Scottish now.
I don't know what you just said, but I thought you told me to step on it.
So, and he's going to step on the cigarette.
Damn.
All right.
Connor's like, OK, OK, OK, no, no, no.
Look, I don't know where he was heading,
but he mentioned something about the Shedded Skin.
(40:34):
It's a nightclub on Titan.
That's all I know.
Really?
There?
Yeah, that's what I know.
Please stop making the floor dirty.
Understood.
Anything else you know?
No, that's it.
Can I, can I go now?
Where's he going to go?
He just admitted in front of the entire police station
that he got bought off by the mob.
(40:54):
The only place he's going to is a jail cell.
Did he not think about that?
Uh, well-
Connor's kind of stupid.
That's fine.
Same.
Ozzy's going to look at him up and down and just say,
all right, kid-
I'm 50.
All right, old man.
And he's going to put his foot off of the cigarette and just say,
(41:14):
now clean yourself up, whore.
And he's going to walk away.
Damn.
So Ozzy, you walk away.
Geena and the Juggernaut immediately pick this guy up
and the other cop who was there,
the Canadian one who-
Was not a part of it,
which I probably should have thought of at some point in time.
That's all right.
I'm, you know, it's good to be noticed.
I'm just glad to be part of your adventure, even for just a brief flicker.
(41:38):
I'm losing the Canadian.
I just went full Irish because Connor's so Irish.
Yeah, I get it.
Also, sorry you had to see that.
I know it's kind of graphic.
What, the littering? I mean, you know, that's fine.
It's not me that's a problem with it.
It's just this dickhole.
Well, it's up to him then.
Sure does.
The two of you start laughing in a sitcom bubble.
(42:02):
Yeah, Ozzy's going to look at Felicia and say,
see, you can make anything reality.
My head hurts.
Clock wipe.
Ozzy and Felicia, you are back-
well, Ozzy, you are back.
Felicia, you are now in Geena Radmist's office.
Geena's like, we'll take care of Connor.
He's not going to be-
(42:22):
He's going to tell us all he knows about the Muttonmouths
and about Bobby Lambino.
But the club he mentioned, the Shedded Skin,
I know where it is.
I need somebody to head over there,
but me and the Juggernaut got to stay back
and interrogate Connor.
I know this is asking a lot of the two of you,
but would you mind helping us out on this case?
Officially, I mean.
She's instantly just saying, go tell my boss,
(42:44):
go tell Blob Iger exactly what's going on
and what has been happening.
She's made her demands clear.
She wants her job back.
Felicia, if you help us with this,
I will personally call Blob Iger
and help you get your job back.
I'm in.
All right.
And what about you, Mr. Eisenhower?
Does he have a choice?
I thought he was a police detective.
Don't you guys have authority over him or something?
(43:04):
No, I'm a private detective.
I thought you were a police detective.
We've had discussion in previous sessions.
We have, and I've listened back to the episodes
recently enough to remember we determined he is a PI.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I'm a- trust me.
Like I said, I'd never been fired.
I just left the force.
Okay.
So there's a lot of stuff that happened
(43:25):
with that corn dog case and I don't know.
So what?
You take this job and you maybe get back
on the force or something?
What? No, what?
No.
Wait, if you join back on the force,
you can get the one that got away.
This corn dog fella.
First of all, he's not a fella.
He's Satan incarnate.
Not really, by the way, just so you know.
I know that, like I say that.
(43:46):
Yeah, thank you for clarifying that
because Satan definitely exists
in the Space Kings universe.
Yeah, it's not actually Satan,
but like- uh, but no, no.
What do I want?
You know what?
I don't know what you got to offer.
Well, for one thing,
we'll just kind of forget about you
trying to kill one of our agents.
I didn't do that.
(44:06):
The threat was there, Mr. Eisenhower,
but if you go through with this,
we'll let that go.
Will that be sufficient?
No.
Okay, then name your terms.
Would you like some money for this case?
For helping us out?
I want...
Okay, very weird request, I know,
but like, you know,
you know how there was that Scruff McGruff,
not the actual one that exists,
(44:27):
but like the spinoff in this universe.
I want to be one to one to kids
about the Corn Dog...
Snatcher.
Okay, so to be clear...
There is a complete,
there is a huge difference in our demands.
I want my job and livelihood back him.
Tell everyone about the Corn Dog Killer.
So your request is
(44:48):
you want the ICC, again, Space FBI,
to release information to the public
about the Corn Dog Snatcher.
Am I, did I get that right?
Yeah.
Cool.
Actually, no.
Actually, no, I lied.
Put me back on the case.
So you want to rejoin the force?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
My terms.
So you're pulling a Sherlock,
you're a consulting detective on this cold case.
(45:10):
No, no, no, no.
First of all, it's not cold.
He never lets a hot dog go to waste.
Ozzy, this case has been very cold.
He never lets a hot dog get that cold.
Okay, I mean, fair.
This is the thing that Ozzy is obsessed over.
So, you know.
Gosh, this is literally all he lived for at this moment.
But yeah, got a deal?
You let me take over once again.
Geena pauses for a second and says,
(45:32):
all right, if you help us take down
this underground fighting ring,
then we'll give you all the files
we have on the Corn Dog Snatcher.
You have files and you never gave- oh, you...
We were investigating him too.
What do you think we do here at the ICC?
Not enough, it seems.
Oh yeah?
Well, when did you catch him then, huh?
(45:53):
Geena says, crossing her arms.
He's got you there.
You never looked at the tape, did you?
What tape, Mr. Eisenhower?
Goodness gracious, we were getting so sidetracked.
Mr. Eisenhower, are you even a detective?
Well, that, yes.
Look, back on the case, my terms, understood?
Yeah, okay, fine, Geena says.
(46:15):
We'll put you back on the case.
We'll give you all the files we have on them.
Just, yeah, fine, sure.
Cool, all right.
Geena leans back in her chair, sighs and says,
all right, well, thank you both.
And she reaches into her desk
and pulls out a little like accordion folder,
riffles through the contents
and pulls out a business card
(46:36):
and hands it to you, Felicia.
The business card says, the Shedded Skin
and gives you the address.
And Geena says, this is where Connor said
Lambino was headed to.
It's our only lead right now,
so I guess you gotta head down there.
Yeah, yeah, we can do that.
Thanks, appreciate it.
Got anything in that drawer for me?
(46:58):
Or is this one of those like here,
you're waiting for me to get it before I, you know.
Ozzy, she reaches into her desk
and pulls out a lollipop and hands it to you.
He puts it in his mouth.
I'm gonna flip a card for lollipop flavor.
What do you think Ozzy's second-most favorite lollipop flavor is?
Cause that's what it would be.
(47:18):
This is hardly important, but.
Root beer would be number one.
I'm gonna say cotton candy.
All right, it's a cotton candy lollipop.
Pretty good.
Put it this way, it was a 10 on the card scale.
So pretty solid.
You know what?
I was gonna say something smart,
but got me there, got me there.
Well, I'm just glad I could be of service.
She pushes the drawer back in.
(47:39):
He puts a cigarette in his mouth also.
Good, so lollipop and a cigarette.
All right, hey, is the kid here?
I'm gonna do a quick flip for that as well.
God damn it, this is the one I get the Crit on.
So yes, Carley is super here.
They're in the room right now.
Carley's gonna help.
No, she's not gonna help.
(47:59):
I'm not putting Carley on this fucking mission.
Carley does run into the room
and just runs up to the Juggernaut
and gives him a big hug,
which of course he reciprocates
cause the Juggernaut is a good dad.
Good for him.
And then Carley walks over to you two.
Felicia, you look down at this kid who
you were genuinely trying to help
(48:20):
and even though it didn't work out,
you still look at Carley and you're like,
you feel a little better
by looking at her little smile-
Oh crap, did she hear about the whole
Felicia being unemployed thing?
I'm gonna say no,
but she is sensing that something
is very wrong with you.
Not with you, but-
And I have to keep up an act.
And everything's okay.
(48:40):
She is looking up at you
with a comforting smile.
Miss Felicia?
Yes?
Thanks for helping me find my dad.
No problem.
She gives you a little hug.
She's happy with this.
And you too, Mr. Ozzy.
Thanks so much.
Hey kid- he's gonna like kneel down.
I appreciate you helping out
and you know I'm sorry
you had to see me with, you know,
(49:02):
space rabies.
I mean, not necessarily space,
you get what I mean?
The zombie rabies.
Does she know about zombies?
Yeah, I've seen them on the TV.
Very different, but anyway.
Mr. Ozzy, I-
Eisenhower.
Oh, oh sorry, Mr. Eisenhower,
I'm just learning your last name.
(49:24):
I know that you said
you wanted to kill my dad, but-
I didn't want to, but yeah, go on.
I forgive you for saying
that you would kill my dad
to get into this convention.
I understand, I guess.
You know what?
You're a pretty cool kid.
But also, I appreciate you helping out
(49:45):
and I want you to-
I want you to have this.
He's gonna pull out a cigarette
and give it to her and say,
now look, don't smoke this.
Whenever you hear something bad on the TV
and you're worried that something bad
might be happening to Felicia,
just remember,
as long as you got that cigarette,
she'll be safe.
(50:05):
So don't ever light it.
Well, that's very, very sweet.
Can you please flip
Presence and Persuasion just real quick?
Presence and, what's my Persuasion?
Okay, so that's five cards.
Two successes.
Excellent.
Because I will say,
you did just hand Carley a cigarette
while her dad is in the room,
but-
Yeah, that was intentional.
(50:26):
Well, the Juggernaut notices this
and although he was initially like,
why the fuck are you giving
my daughter a cigarette?
Once he hears what you have to say,
he is like,
all right, okay, fine.
We'll have to talk about this later,
but I guess it's a heartwarming moment.
But Carley is immediately like,
hey, remember that thing I did?
(50:46):
And she pulls out a match
and lights it on her skin.
And the Juggernaut is like,
Carley, where did you learn to do that?
Yo, that's pretty cool.
I mean, I'm not even gonna hide it.
You know, that was pretty cool.
Ozzy, you remember the first time
you met Carley,
you had her like strike a match
on her skin.
And now she's doing it again
in front of her dad.
(51:08):
Taught her to make fire.
Just because it's the end of the session,
I'm just gonna be like,
all right, the Juggernaut is gonna be like,
all right, you two get the hell out of here
and keep us up to date on your progress.
And like pushes you out
and slams the door behind him.
I think that went pretty well.
Let's get this on-
let's get started.
No, do you need some water?
I'm fine.
(51:29):
Yeah, okay.
Look, I know a depressed face
when I see one.
I have a mirror.
Not depressed,
because now there's a chance
things will go back to normal.
You sound very determined.
You know what?
I like this.
I think we're gonna do very well with this.
I like how he's grown as a character.
Has he?
I don't think...
Ozzy has not grown as a character,
(51:49):
he just no longer has rabies.
Well, no, he's definitely different
than when we first met him.
Yeah, you were the grump of the group.
Oh, he still is.
Yeah, and I'm not gonna say that-
I would hardly call your recent,
the line you just gave here
as being the grump.
Yeah, you are not so grump.
Yeah, you're softening up pretty hard.
And it's not that Felicia was like
(52:09):
the immediate yang,
like just the pure optimist,
but I guess compared to her
in her current state,
even with this like carrot dangling,
like, yeah, maybe you can get your job back.
Ozzy, you're kind of in a better
mental state at the moment,
which is rare.
I'm into it.
I vibe with it.
Well, the two of you
with renowned... confidence?
Head out of the police station
(52:31):
on a mission,
and that is where we end.
Good times.
Good times for everybody.
Good times.
(52:55):
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space King system
developed and published by SuperTry Studios.
You can learn more about this game
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at livelaughloot.bsky.social
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast
(53:15):
@gmail.com.
Our intro music is Out of Control
by Chill Carrier,
and our outro music is
One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description
to find out what other songs
played this episode
or to check licensing information.
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or listen to more episodes,
check us out at livelaughloot.libsyn.com
Live Laugh Loot contains foul language, violence, drug, and alcohol references, and irreverent humor.
(00:05):
So if you're not a fan of all that, then, uh, don't watch the show.
Okay, bye!
Alright, we're headed back to the Solar System?
Yeah, you technically never left; the space station was in orbit at Saturn.
Ah yes, famously known solid not gas giant planet Saturn.
Yeah, that one.
Yeah, you're not- well, you know- shut up, it's cool science stuff.
(00:28):
Yeah, well, piss off, anyway.
Oh, you want to point out scientific plot holes in my story?
Well, I got one for ya.
Fuck you.
I got one, there was an animatronic bear, maybe.
I thought he was a-
We don't know.
Was it a bear?
We were very confused on it.
I always, like, kind of thought of him as a bear.
I knew there was a raccoon.
(00:49):
I thought he was a- I thought Wilbur was a dog.
I thought of him as a bear.
Wait, was he- I don't-
You had bear hands, so I guess-
Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For some bear-handed combat.
Ayo.
This is why I drink.
Wow, just that?
Just that?
What about when things actually go wrong?
(01:10):
Yeah, you know what, you got me there.
We better hope nothing does go wrong,
because if this drives him to drink,
I don't want him to think about what that would cause him to do.
Confound those puns, they drive me to drink.
I can't stop.
Previously on Live Laugh Loot.
Bobby Lambino appeared holding Carley captive
and demanded the crew surrender,
(01:31):
and they responded with a hammer toss
and telekinetic recovery which knocked the lamb unconscious.
But due to Ozzy's slowly deteriorating zombie rabies rattled mind,
he let slip that he was contracted to kill the Juggernaut,
which brought the mood down a bit.
Geena took Bobby Lambino into custody
and requested that the two party members come with her,
which they obliged, taking the escape pods away
(01:51):
to head back to the moon Titan and finally get some answers.
(02:15):
So we're gonna do a minor, minor time skip.
We're back on Titan.
In the time between last episode and now,
everybody went to a hospital.
You can put yourself at full health.
If anybody still had a bomb in their head, that is removed.
So you can eliminate that from your...
(02:36):
I think mine is already gone.
Yours was deactivated, but it was not removed.
It is now removed.
You're safe in case that ever went off.
It's now out of your head.
And Ozzy, you are cured, finally, of zombie rabies,
which means your Brawn is set back down to two
and your Intelligence is now back up to four.
(02:57):
I remember everything.
So you're feeling better in the head.
I won't say you're feeling great in the head,
but you're feeling better.
Yeah, I remember a lot of terrible things that happened.
You say it ever so casually.
You just wake up from your bomb surgery and without zombie rabies,
and you're like, oh, God.
Well, poop.
(03:17):
So you all got medically okayed.
You're out of the hospital.
Now the both of you are in a building in downtown Titan.
We're going to open this session with Felicia,
who is hanging out in the lobby of what looks like a police station.
As soon as you had a free moment,
you wanted to call your agent because a lot of things are going on.
(03:40):
You kind of don't even know where you are anymore.
And you need to figure stuff out, call some people.
Right. Hold on.
Darling, do you have a dime I can borrow for the pay phone?
What do you mean you don't have a pay phone?
There's a cop right next to you who he's like,
oh, I'm terrible
sorry, ma'am.
You know, our phone's down.
I'm going to have to like get you on one of our desk lines here.
(04:03):
And he walks around the lobby is like,
anybody got a spare phone for this Miss Felicia Fox there?
And all the cops just want to shake their head like, nope.
And it's like, sorry, ma'am.
We don't have a available phone right now.
Don't you darlings understand who I am?
I am Felicia Fox, one of the greatest cartoon foxes ever created.
(04:26):
And I have to talk to my agent.
I cannot be held up and hold my studio responsible for this.
Well, I mean, I think there might be a pay phone outside,
but you know, I got to come with you there, bud.
Let's go.
You walk out into the street.
It's pretty, like, midday.
So I'm not sure how warm or cold would it be.
Just assume it's a nice summer day.
(04:47):
That's kind of the vibe.
You are not in a familiar part of town.
This is more like- To be fair,
if she's not on a studio set, her mansion / trailer or convention,
nothing is familiar to her.
Okay, fair enough.
So Felicia, you're on a city street for maybe the first time.
It's noisy.
There are lots of people
and there are lights everywhere, even though it's noon.
(05:11):
It's awful.
What a pain in the neck.
You, gumshoe, where's the pay phone?
I need to go make a call.
Oh, it's over here, ma'am.
Just follow me.
We'll get you right up there, bud.
And he lead you over-
Is he from Canada or Minnesota?
I mean- at first I thought it was like some kind of Irish accent.
Who can tell?
It's flexible.
(05:31):
Who cares?
I'm trying to do Canadian,
but obviously as an American, it's hard to get it right.
This guy lead you over to a nearby pay phone
and he's like,
uh, let me see if I got some change in my pocket there.
Now he's like full Irish.
All right.
Let me just-
I'm gonna do a quick flip to see if this cop has any change in his pocket.
(05:53):
He got a Jack.
That's enough for you to make one phone call.
Cool.
Calling my agent now.
All right.
Felicia, you get into the booth.
You put in the coins.
The pay phone says,
thank you for feeding me.
And you are allowed to make the call.
Hello, Jackson.
Hello, darling.
Yes, I'm finally free, but I'm stuck on the moon of Titan.
It's not my fault.
(06:14):
I don't want to be here either.
I understand.
Unfortunately, I'm stuck in a bit of a police matter right now
and will they have me tied up right now?
Could you send some of the boys down to come get me?
Oh, and tell Betty and Floyd that I'm really sorry for holding them up.
I'll give them my love and I'll see them when I get back.
You say all that.
(06:35):
Jackson on the other line is like,
Felicia, is that you?
Oh my god.
Hey, Felicia.
It's great to hear your voice, babe.
I mean, how you doing?
How am I doing?
I just said I'm in police custody right now.
What do you think?
Yeah, that's kind of a doozy.
I mean, Felicia,
(06:56):
I really hate to be the one to tell you this,
but I don't think we're going to be able to help you in this case.
Excuse me?
I'm not even here for something I did.
I got held up in someone else's Investigation.
Now they're holding me here.
It's like a witness or something.
Get me out of here.
I have better things to do and you know it.
(07:19):
Look, Felicia, you were broadcast on TV on an underground fight ring.
You broke the law.
I didn't choose to be there.
They kidnapped me.
That's human trafficking.
Uh, cartoon trafficking in my case.
Look, Felicia, I'm sorry.
This news is not coming from me, all right?
I'm just the messenger.
This is coming from the CEO.
(07:39):
You know, the CEO of Space Disney.
He can't fire me.
It's the contract he wrote when he created me.
That's the thing, Felicia.
When we saw you on that fight ring, man, Blob Iger-
Gosh.
Of course.
Blob Iger was furious.
Felicia, you cast your mind back to Blob Iger, who is this giant mass of flesh.
(08:04):
I imagine like the CEO from Smiling Friends with Gwimbly.
I'm imagining that guy right now.
Yeah, that but like more visceral.
Basically just a mound of flesh that he's like behind a desk and like shuffling papers.
What kind of Resident Evil creature did you create?
It's Blob Iger.
(08:24):
No wonder he doesn't go out.
Anyway, Felicia, you've met Blob Iger.
You know that he has a temper that is as short as... something that's very short.
I couldn't think of a good metaphor.
I have a question.
Why isn't he suing the criminals who held me captive?
I didn't want to do any of that.
Look, Felicia, I'm sorry.
But as of today, your contract is null and void.
(08:47):
I'm not a dumb Dora.
You are not cutting me out this easily.
Felicia, I'm sorry.
But that's got to be the final word.
My hands are tied.
This is contract violation.
Well, you can take Space Disney on in court.
But I mean, you know what happens when people do that.
There's nothing I can do.
It's just that I got kidnapped and now suddenly everything's my fault.
(09:09):
I don't know what to tell you, Felicia.
I don't know what to tell you that could make this any better.
Just pass all the events onto him.
Maybe change his mind.
I was literally created to do this one thing.
I don't have an identity outside of this.
I was literally created for this very purpose.
You don't understand what saying this to me means.
I'm sorry, Felicia.
(09:29):
I want to help you.
I'm trying to smooth things over with Blob Iger.
But I don't really have a position to stand on.
And I believe you, Felicia, but to everybody else here,
you participated willingly in a fight ring.
I know you say that's not what happened, but...
None of that was willing.
It was fight or get killed.
What do you think my choice was?
I didn't have one.
(09:51):
I know, Felicia, but it's your word against the CEO of Space Disney's.
Yeah, the CEO of Space Disney who doesn't understand what happened.
We're literally in a police station about to tell them what happened.
We'll have it officialy on legal record.
Look, Felicia, I'll do what I can.
I can't make any promises.
I gotta go.
I'm sorry.
And you hear a click on the receiver.
(10:12):
Jackson has hung up.
Let's just get out.
She's just staying put.
Her face is just shrunk into slowly melting.
Yeah, slowly put the receiver back as the dial tone fades out.
And the payphone says, thank you for using Payphone Payphones.
Your one-stop shop for payphones since 2580.
(10:33):
This barely started and she's fired.
Felicia, you solemnly slunk out of the payphone.
And the cop looks at you like,
I guess that didn't go too good there, huh?
Her head's slowly going to turn around.
Now her reaction's like on the verge of insanity.
You boys in blue are going to do your job.
(10:53):
You're gonna get this all sorted out in a jiffy.
And then you're gonna make sure I get my job back.
I mean, you know, we'll do our best, ma'am.
But you know, we're doing all we can.
Her mouth is slowly forming.
It's like an insane smile with every syllable he makes.
This cop touches the walkie-talkie on his chest.
(11:15):
He's like, hey, can we get some backup out here?
Don't blow your wig.
Everything's all aces.
After all, things are gonna be fine, right?
Cut to the interior of the station,
where we are inside the office of Geena Radmist.
(11:39):
Geena is sat at a table.
The Juggernaut is standing nearby.
And Ozzy, we see you in the center of the room.
You have been questioned by them for quite a while.
You are not under arrest.
The vibe you're picking up is very much
I got called to the principal's office.
Geena has got her fingers on her temple rubbing.
(12:00):
It's like, so let me get this straight.
You were summoned to the Entertain-a-Thon to find somebody.
Originally, yeah.
And in order to get in, you tried to get tickets from a scalper who told you,
hey, I'll let you get in if you kill the Juggernaut.
(12:20):
And you accepted.
Do I have that right?
I mean, yeah.
I mean, that's what I said I would do.
And, you know, I mean, in a way, I kind of just killed his psyche.
So like I killed the bad Juggernaut.
So technically, I did what I had to.
The bad Juggernaut.
I mean, he's a different person, right?
He's not the same one you saw in there mushing faces.
So gotta look at the... *sigh*
(12:41):
Ozzy, you've had a lot of time to think since you were cured of the zombie rabies.
And there is a question lingering in your mind.
It's like, why the hell did I accept that in the first place?
And did I really try to kill the Juggernaut or just pretended to to get tickets?
And he's like kind of talking to himself in front of them.
Well, I mean, if I really think about it, I think.
(13:02):
But then again, no, I think I definitely didn't want to.
But then again, I think I kind of.
Oh, the kid was there.
And that would have been...
Mr. Ostrich- do you have a last name, sir?
Yes, Ozzy Eisenhower.
Mr. Eisenhower.
Thank you.
All right, go on.
Can you tell us anything about this person who hired you?
Who they were, their name even?
(13:24):
And I will say you were given a name.
I don't know if you remember it.
No, I do not.
Well, can I have my detective hat?
It usually helps me help think.
It's been a long day.
I got some stuff on my teeth that I don't want to think about what it might be.
I'm still coming down from some not fun stuff.
All right, I just did a quick worldbuilding flip
(13:45):
to see if your personal effects that were missing were recovered.
Yes, they found your hat.
You have been given that.
So you are hatted once again.
All right.
Thank you.
This is going to help.
Does not give him any more Intelligence.
You just need it for...
No, what does it give you?
Plus Empathy.
More Empathy.
That's right.
Yep.
I think you've probably lost your club.
(14:06):
Yes, I don't think you had that anymore.
Nope.
That is very much gone.
You also have a laser revolver and a Glock.
You kept that.
You got that on the space-
Oh, absolutely.
I kept that.
It has five bullets left.
The revolver does.
I had to shoot one.
Yes, the laser revolver is five.
The Glock has three, I have.
Ozzy, if you would like to try and rack your brain
to remember everything about the person who hired you and what happened,
(14:29):
that would be Intelligence and either Investigation or Spacewise.
We're going to do Investigation because I had that fully.
Also, what is Sleuthing and Eclectic again?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So Sleuthing is plus one to Investigation or combat flips
if you know the name of the target.
(14:51):
Dang it.
Which I'm going to say you cannot be your own target
even though this is a memory flip.
So that doesn't count right now.
And Eclectic is you get plus one to, I think,
the first Practice or Mastery skill you use once per session,
which for Investigation, that is.
So you get plus one for this flip.
(15:13):
OK, so I get all my Intelligence.
OK, so Intelligence, Investigation,
and it's plus two because I'm healthy, right?
Or is it plus one?
Plus one because you're healthy.
Plus one for Eclectic.
Oh, gosh, that's 10 cards.
Let's go, baby.
Let's do it.
Big flip.
10 cards and four successes.
Ooh, yeah, baby.
One, two, three, four.
Yeah, that's four.
Ozzy, you do remember the name of this person
(15:35):
because they said it offhandedly
and you did brush them off,
but you remember them saying their name was Ronnie.
Oh, yeah, it was this dude named Ronnie.
Weird guy.
I mean, obviously he's weird.
He's asked me to kill somebody in the ring,
which honestly, I'm going to be honest,
it sounds like he was just some crazy,
you know how those wrestling fans could be.
They want their favorites to win
(15:57):
and they're like,
oh, by any means necessary.
You know how that is, how the kids are,
even though he wasn't a kid, but could have been.
You also remember some physical details about this guy.
He was pretty short
and you're sure you noticed some fur,
even though he was trying to hide his head
and his face and all that.
You're pretty damn sure you noticed some fur.
(16:18):
Oh, yeah, he's pretty furry, by the way.
He's trying to hide the fur
because I don't know why.
Honestly, just be yourself, dude.
Trying to hide what he was, I guess.
Actually, he was trying to hide a lot of things.
Then again, he was trying to hire me to kill somebody.
Anyway, so yeah, that was the thing that happened.
Yeah, there you go.
That's what I remember and you're welcome.
Geena's been writing all of these details.
(16:39):
And is like, right, a guy named Ronnie
probably has fur.
No, he does have fur.
He was hiding it.
Oh, sorry, scratches that out.
Does have fur.
That's like he like glued fur to himself
and then like, you know, put the coat on,
which honestly, I'll give it back.
Not helping your case right now, buddy.
Geena's like, we'll just keep it as "has fur" for now
(17:01):
and figure that out later.
That's a good idea
because you know, he probably does have fur.
Mr. Eisenhower.
I love that that's your last name, by the way.
I gotta write that down.
So good.
Mr. Eisenhower, do you know who we are?
I mean, you gave me your names in the beginning, so...
Not that.
Do you know who we work for?
Is it Space Disney?
No, it is not Space Disney.
(17:23):
Oh, then I don't really...
Who do I look like?
Blob Iger?
Come on.
No, you don't have to.
First of all, Bob...
Actually, I'm not even gonna say anything mean
because last time I did,
got a little bit of a copy strike.
Not even a copyright, just a copy strike.
That's what they do, they copy strikes.
Yeah, but anyway,
you're obviously investigators and like cops and stuff
and you're investigating me.
(17:44):
I mean, we're two peas in the same can.
We're a little more than a cops.
Both Geena and Douglas pull out some ID badges
and flash them at you.
We're with the ICC.
And Ozzy, you are well familiar with the ICC.
They're basically Space FBI.
Yeah, cool.
You know, I wanted to be one of you before
but there was a lot of tests that I had to do
and I'm gonna be honest, not my cup of tea.
(18:07):
I'm not saying like, you know, it was like hard.
It's just tests were too early.
I understand, Mr. Eisenhower.
We've been trying to bust underground fight rings
for quite some time.
Our associate here, Mr. Juggernaut,
was been undercover in these fight rings
trying to figure out who's behind them.
And it seems like although I'm sure it was by happenstance
(18:28):
or rather you were assigned to kill them,
you did happen upon our friend here
as he was mind controlled to take part in these fights.
So I guess we have to thank you for that.
You're welcome.
The Juggernaut gives you like a simple nod
that basically says like,
I'm just gonna acknowledge you.
I'm still maybe a little peeved at what you said,
as in you tried to kill me.
(18:50):
That's fine.
You know, I get it.
I understand.
He just gives you a manly nod of acknowledgement.
Hey, thanks, dude.
But yeah, no, you know, it was, you know,
no problem whatsoever.
I mean, I actually know it was.
I got knocked out, as you can see on TV,
which, by the way, I can definitely fight better than that.
It's just, you know, going easy on him
because, you know, his daughter was in the crowd and yeah.
(19:12):
The Juggernaut says,
You used telepathy to tell me that I was responsible
for all the sins I committed in the ring.
Well, I mean, you are.
You got mind controlled.
So like, that's kind of your fault.
Just like I'm in charge of like, you know,
me getting zombie rabies and that terrible joke
I tried to do with the ventriloquism.
It didn't work out too well.
And, you know, I see the thing is like,
sure, it wasn't fully my fault,
(19:33):
but also because I put myself in that situation
and it didn't go too well.
So, you know, my sins are still like, you know,
out and about because like, trust me,
people are not going to forget that image.
Can you please do a Presence and Spacewise flip to
for this tough guy demeanor, or Presence and Persuasion,
whichever one you want to do.
Uh, okay.
They're both okay.
(19:54):
So that's gonna be five.
Success and a Joker.
Excellente.
Yeah, this is fine.
I'm trying to like,
I'm playing the character as in like,
they're still coming down from the zombie rabies.
So like those little like hints of like,
chaos are still coming out.
Yeah.
Which isn't working out too well for him.
I'm going to hold that Joker for now.
But you got one success.
You said one success.
(20:15):
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
We didn't discuss who's the anti-Joker this week.
I thought we did.
Well, I sent a message saying like,
hey, who wants it?
I think we gave it to Sean.
Yeah.
You know, I'm using it.
Why not?
Are you using it?
No Joker.
Yeah, no joke.
Get rid of that Joker.
Alright, Ozzy.
He needs a win.
Alrighty.
So the Joker is shot.
You got one success.
Geena and the Juggernaut just look at each other.
(20:37):
Like, do we push him more?
And they just sort of sigh and it's like,
all right, Mr. Eisenhower,
we'll figure out how we can proceed with this
as soon as we're done interrogating Mr. Lambino.
If you could just stick around-
And as she says that,
there's a knock at the office door
and the door opens and another cop leaves
and is like, hey, ma'am,
(20:57):
sorry to bother you,
but that lamb criminal you had in,
yeah, he escaped.
Geena's just like sipping her coffee
and just spits it out
and is like, what?
He just said they got out.
I heard him.
What do you mean he escaped?
And this cop's like, yeah,
he kind of busted through the wall there.
This is not the same cop
(21:18):
that was with Felicia, by the way.
But I'm just going to say they all talk
like Canadian, Irish, Minnesotan.
They all have the same voice,
same everything.
Vaguely Midwest.
Maybe they're all clones of each other.
You know what?
I'm into that.
I vibe with it.
Geena and the Juggernaut look at each other
and immediately bolt out of their seats.
But Geena looks at you, Ozzy,
(21:38):
giving you a look that says, come with us.
Oh, me?
Yeah, okay.
And Ozzy's going to grab his hat.
He's going to follow.
Ozzy, you got your hat.
You walk out.
Geena and the Juggernaut and this cop
and you walk down across the way
to some prison cells.
They open the door to one of them.
You can see the cell is empty
(21:59):
and the window seems to be
ripped out of its holding place.
Why did you put him in a place
with a window and then leave him alone?
We had a guard posted out here.
Where did the guy go?
And is it at that point that Felicia,
you and the cop you were with come back
is like, hey, sorry, Miss Fox here
had to take a phone call.
(22:19):
Did I miss something here?
And he looks into the room
that now has no criminal on a broken window
and he's like, oh, golly,
I'm going to get chewed out over this one.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hey, Felicia.
How you doing?
Uh, yeah, probably.
Hi, how you doing?
Ozzy, you see Felicia is twitching.
(22:40):
Her eye is like super dilated,
shaking with nervous, frantic energy.
You can hear like the whole like
steam whistle sound as like
steam rises from her ears.
You, uh, you alright there?
Aces, darling, Aces.
I don't know what that means,
but it sounds pretty cool.
Okay, look, I'm just messing around with you.
(23:02):
I'm trying to put a smile on your face.
Look, I don't got the rabies anymore.
Uh, but remember that, uh,
lamb that I should have shot in the head?
They left.
An interesting way of putting it, they left.
And then he's going to point to the, uh, window being open.
Is it open or is it like actually torn out?
It was torn out.
Like imagine like Old West style,
tie a rope around the bar
(23:22):
and, uh, run with your horse to pull the bar out.
Kind of like that, but more destructive.
Okay.
Terrifying.
Love that.
So, uh, not looking too great.
So can you finally tell me about that?
I had something stuck in my throat.
Can you finally tell me about that person?
Because you kind of refused for the longest time.
Yeah, I guess I probably should tell you.
(23:45):
He's with the Muttonmouths
and Ozzy, as a private investigator,
you're familiar with the Muttonmouths.
Maybe not yourself.
You maybe haven't investigated their cases,
but you know that they're a major crime syndicate
across the Solar System.
Oh, okay.
Well, how involved?
Oh, he's a capo.
Great.
(24:05):
Great.
Love that for literally all of us.
Yeah, and I imagine that anybody who went against him
is probably not in a great position
because he is a very vengeful capo.
Oh, no, I know.
I know.
You do? Geena says.
Well, I haven't really dealt with them personally,
but I do know about them.
And, uh, well, this ain't good, especially for me.
(24:28):
No, this isn't good.
And then Geena looks at you, Felicia.
Um, Ms. Fox, are you doing all right?
Where you are very clearly not doing all right.
Why wouldn't I be, you screwball?
Damn.
Can you do a Charm and Lying flip
(24:50):
to keep up this "I'm fine" facade?
I mean, she's not fine.
She's trying not to hurt anyone.
I know, but you are lying.
You are most decidedly not fine.
So Charm is two and Lying.
Okay, that's five cards.
Oh, dear God, please.
All failures.
Cool.
Everyone else in the room looks at each other like,
(25:11):
yeah, Felicia's obviously not fine.
Honestly, good.
That was what I was hoping was happening.
Hey, I mean, yeah, whatever you wanted to happen,
technically the Lie flip failed.
Yeah.
Geena's like, what happened there, sweetie?
What happened?
I'll tell you what happened.
Because I got kidnapped thanks to this stupid bird,
(25:32):
I am currently out of work.
And now I need all of you to do your jobs
so I can get my record clean,
so I might get my job back.
First time getting fired?
I was created to be a complete corporate entity,
to be thrown into a dark, cold vault
(25:52):
when I wasn't profitable.
And now they're firing me.
This was not in the cards.
I mean, let's be honest.
Do you want to go in a vault?
Yes, there's others of us in there.
I wouldn't be alone.
I mean, you're not alone right now.
You got us.
Is that really the argument you think it is?
It's not really an argument.
I'm just speaking truth.
(26:14):
I mean, I'm here.
They're here.
You're wanting us to help.
And look, let me tell you something.
I know what it's like to not have the big man care about me.
But look.
Your literal god and creator doesn't care about you.
What?
No, I'm not talking about anything.
No, I'm talking about-
What?
No, I'm not talking about you.
(26:34):
Listen, listen, listen.
Him trying to relate is so hard.
Listen, listen, listen.
Look, I never told anyone this,
but I've never been fired.
So I don't know exactly what you're going through,
but what I can tell you right here, right now,
is that just because someone built you to be something
doesn't mean that's what you have to be.
(26:55):
You get to choose what you get to do.
And if someone wants to fire you,
screw it.
Fire them.
Become their boss.
You know, you're the one.
You want these movies, you make your own movies.
You want me to overthrow Space Disney?
I don't want you to overthrow them.
I want you to overtake them.
And how do you expect to do that?
I don't know.
You're the one who knows better than I do.
No, I don't.
Oh, well.
(27:18):
Darling, literally created to be an asset.
Not a full-on employee, not management,
not like you, literally meant to fulfill a job
that they created for me to do.
And then to do that forever.
I'm not supposed to stop dancing,
and now I'm supposed to stop dancing.
I mean, you did actually know you did say you were going to.
Anyway, look, these are semantics at this point.
(27:41):
I really appreciate the moment.
Don't get me wrong.
Oh, I know.
I don't mean to ruin your flow.
It's just...
No, no, Ozzy's not very good at this.
Not only is he not good,
the scenario is complete...
All right, look, listen.
Her saying her God / creator basically giving up on her
isn't far off.
All right, look.
We can talk about this later.
(28:02):
We got a freaking lamb on the run
who, I'm going to be honest,
probably wants to freaking kill me.
Would you say he's...
...on the lamb?
Oh!
See, just because you got fired
doesn't mean you can't make those jokes.
No, immediately after she said that,
she goes- her face just flops right back down.
Hey, turn that frown.
(28:23):
Felicia, you hear a rim shot,
but it just sort of like fades into nothing in your brain.
Like [RIMSHOT WITH A SAD FINAL HIT].
Oh gosh, even I heard that.
That's how audible her depression is.
Felicia, you've got like a cartoon storm cloud
above your head that's just raining on you.
Space Kings episode whatever,
the episode where Felicia gets depressed.
(28:44):
Yeah, man, I know.
I know what that's like, kind of.
Okay, look.
You want to help me find this lamb
so like I don't die?
Look, I'm trying to like, you know,
not focus on this.
And honestly, I don't really,
he's going to look at everyone else.
Obviously, I'm going to be honest.
I don't really, you know,
(29:04):
think that they're going to come for me, number one.
I know that they will eventually,
but like not right this moment.
Saying that right now,
so in case it does happen.
I look like a genius, but anyway.
But Felicia, look, be who you want to be.
Make the moves that you want to make.
I want to be what I was meant to be.
And now they won't let me be the thing I was meant to be.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
(29:25):
No, there's no "meant to be this" bullshit.
All right, look-
and he's going to pull out a pack of cigarettes.
Good, good.
You see this right here?
This was meant to be smoked, right?
This right here, look at it.
It had to be smoked, right?
Felicia, you acknowledge that, yes,
a cigarette was meant to be smoked.
Yep.
Okay, but you see all these pieces
(29:46):
that came together to make it.
Not all of them were always made to do that.
They are made just to exist.
So this tobacco, people chew it.
You think I'm going to chew this cigarette?
No, you were made for one thing, sure, whatever.
But you choose what you do now.
You have the kind of freedom that, you have freedom
that no one else in that vault has ever had.
(30:08):
Do it for them.
This is almost such good advice
that I almost want to make you flip for it.
Okay, I mean-
Yeah, Charm or Presence and Empathy.
Yeah, I have some Empathy now.
Do I have Charm at all?
No.
No, Presence it is.
Yeah, one Charm and two Presence.
Like a Charm one would probably be like
(30:28):
you're trying to comfort.
A Presence would be like a, hey, snap out of it.
Yeah, alright, so that's four cards.
Plus one for your hat, yes, I think.
Yeah, it's four cards.
Thought it was five.
Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry.
Yeah, you don't have any Empathy points.
What am I saying?
You only have the one because of the hat.
So it is four.
Yeah, I have one success out of all that.
All right, I don't know how much that would help
(30:50):
in this situation because Felicia is shaken to hell and back right now.
At the very least, Felicia, you hear Ozzy
and you can at least tell that he is genuinely trying to help you
or at least cheer you up for the time being.
She's going to humor him and go along with it,
but she's not feeling better.
It's not helping, but you at least can feel that he's trying to be genuine.
(31:13):
Trying.
Let's just, let's get this over with and find your lamb.
It's not mine.
He's going to start smoking the cigarette.
I thought you said you weren't going to smoke it.
What?
No, I said, I don't think you-.
I was using all the pieces of it and saying
that it can be whatever it wants to be
and he's going to like grab another cigarette
and throw it on the ground.
(31:34):
See, that was not going to be smoked by me now.
One of the cops picks it up and is like,
hey, no littering inside the police station there.
Oh, sorry.
He's going to pick it up and put it back in the pack.
We've told you to like fart in here a hundred times.
Stop throwing your cigarettes on the ground.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I've been dropping them.
(31:55):
Okay.
Zombie rabies.
Whatever you're doing,
cut it out.
It's not right.
I'm going to say one of them is full Irish.
The other one is more Canadian Midwestern.
That's fair.
Okay.
Sorry.
Also, wait, why weren't you here watching the lamb?
Well, I had to take this one out to take her phone call.
Oh, why didn't you just use your cell phone?
That's a good question.
(32:16):
Are we unraveling the mystery
without even having to leave the police station?
The cop just sort of stares at you, Ozzy,
and he's like, that's a pretty smart mouth you got there, sir.
I mean, you did get away.
Yeah, and whose fault is that?
And Geena looks at the cop and is like, it's yours, dumbass.
Yeah, and I mean, like, let's be honest.
Like, you obviously went to the one who's made from the...
(32:38):
I don't really know when your cartoon was created.
I'm sorry.
One day I'll learn.
But...
She's a couple hundred years old.
But, you know, you went to the one
who doesn't even know that cell phones exist.
And Ozzy's gonna pull out his cell phone.
Like, even I have one.
Do you have a cell phone?
Me?
No, not you.
Oh, the cop.
(32:58):
I'm going to say the cop seems to be like a little flustered.
Yeah, I got a cell phone.
What of it?
All right.
So why didn't you let her use your phone to make a phone call?
Because she's not under arrest.
Can both of you do a Wit or Intelligence and Investigation flip right now?
Uh, so I can only do one.
Yeah, I'm only doing one.
(33:19):
I'm only doing both.
Six of clubs.
Remember, because you're helping.
So I get to draw a whole 'nother card.
Seven of hearts.
Dang.
All right.
So do I do Intelligence and Investigation or just one?
Intelligence or Wit and Investigation.
So either Intelligence or Wit and Investigation.
Oh, it's Intelligence / Investigation, baby.
That's nine cards.
(33:39):
Oh, I should have asked him for his name.
All right.
That's three successes.
All right.
Felicia, you are listening to this cop, but you're not really listening.
You're just thinking about losing your job.
She's gotta get it back,
or she won't be able to see Floyd and Betty as much.
You could really do with a hug from Floyd and / or Betty right now.
But Ozzy, you just sort of narrow your eyes.
(34:02):
You ask the question about why the cop didn't use his cell phone.
And this cop is very, very, very clearly hiding something.
You can see his sweat start to form.
And he's like, uh, I mean, look, my, my cell phone was, uh, in my office,
which I, I, I couldn't get to the office because I, um, I needed to...
(34:25):
Empty your pockets.
Let me see how this cop responds.
Well, he flipped no successes and a Joker.
I think slowlym
you just have to accept this guy's probably like an inside man for the mob or whatever.
This, uh, this guy is like, uh, I- and he looks at Geena who was like,
yeah, maybe you should empty your pockets, Connor.
(34:46):
And the cop is like, uh, uh, uh, I just realized I have to be.
I would like to grab hold of his leg mid-sentence.
So he to try and hold them down.
She may be depressed, but even she could tell what's about to go down.
I'm going to say that's Agility / Melee.
Okay.
So that's three plus two plus one, Ace, Queen, Queen, Joker, Jack, Ace.
(35:12):
Ooh, that's five successes plus a Joker.
Yes.
How does that work?
What is the math?
Damn.
I've gotten this, like, I could have tried charming on the phone with this
and like increase my odds of getting my job back.
True.
But to be fair, you're going to grab the hell out of this person.
(35:32):
Felicia, you do momentarily snap out of your stupor
and probably even like channel the rage you're feeling at Space Disney for abandoning you.
And you just like- Possibly abandoning, you know, Jackson said he'd pass the news up.
There's a chance they might get it through.
And once the cops do their job, that might help straighten things out.
(35:53):
There's a chance.
I'm rooting for that thought.
Well, you channel your rage at something.
I don't know.
Anyway, you just immediately like kind of just push Connor the cop against the door to the
cell and you're just staring daggers into his eyes.
You can hear like a wolf growl even though you're a fox, a wolf growl coming from you.
(36:15):
And you're like, empty your pockets.
Connor the cop is like pissing his pants right now.
He is very terrified and he is like, uh, um, I, uh, I- smoke bomb!
And then he reaches into his pocket and throws something onto the ground.
Smoke fills the air.
(36:35):
I need everybody to do a Brawn and Biology flip.
King, failure, failure, failure.
I got the Queen of Hearts.
I got to do it for every other NPC.
So I got to do some flips.
Hold on a second.
Just going to go through the entire deck right here, right now.
So remind me, how much did everybody get?
I got one success.
(36:57):
I got the Queen of Hearts.
All right.
So that's two for you.
Um, Felicia, you hold your hand over your mouth as the smoke starts to rise.
So it doesn't get into your lungs.
Ozzy, you also avoid the smoke, but you- before Connor the cop can run out
You both grab him by the arms and, uh, throw him down onto the floor.
(37:19):
Cause you got two.
The Juggernaut got three successes.
Connor only got one to escape.
So the room is fulling up with smoke, but also because there was a giant gaping hole
in the wall, it sort of diffuses out of the room pretty quickly.
Well, did some of it good.
Do you even have a phone in there?
In the process of tackling Connor to the ground, basically everything falls out of
(37:39):
pockets, including a cell phone, and a folded piece of paper.
And Ozzy, would you like to pick that up and read it?
Oh, absolutely.
He's reading it.
All right.
I'm a nosy bird.
You're a what?
I'm a nosy bird.
Nosy bird.
I just want to know about things.
Ozzy, you pick up this note and it reads at exactly 12:01 PM.
(38:00):
I'm gonna - you can hear this in Bobby Lambino's voice - at exactly 12:01 PM,
Titan Standard Time.
I'm going to bust out of the wall with my friends.
And you're going to make sure that nobody else is in the room when it happens.
Signed, Bobby Lambino.
P.S. Please shred this piece of paper.
You never made it to your room because you didn't even shred this.
(38:21):
Oh, wait.
I forgot.
You don't litter.
That's right.
This is the cop who told you not to litter.
And Ozzy is going to drop it to the ground.
Connor is too scared to react appropriately.
That's fair.
Look, I'll do whatever you want, but please stop littering.
Look, you're going to tell me everything you know about this lamb chop.
(38:44):
Oh, okay.
All right.
I'll tell you.
Just leave me alone, please.
Not until you tell me.
And he's going to pull out a cigarette.
Oh, yeah.
This is a no smoking zone.
He drops a cigarette.
Oops.
Oh, no, not litter.
I hate litter.
Oh, my back hurts.
I don't think I can bend down and get it.
(39:07):
Such a shame.
Connor starts crying.
So, you're going to tell me.
Or do I have to?
No, you don't want to see what I'm going to do next.
He's going to put his foot over the cigarette.
He's not going to step on it yet, but he's going to put it over.
No, anything but that.
Anything but that.
Go on.
All right.
Look, I was told to let Bobby Lambino run free.
(39:31):
Why?
He paid me a lot of money.
Who?
The Muttonmouths did.
The what?
The Muttonmouths.
That's the mafia group.
Yeah, remember, Felicia wasn't here for that part.
Oh, true.
Oh, true, true, true.
OK, sorry.
Yeah, I thought that was out of character.
I wasn't there for that part.
But in her instance, she has no idea what's being discussed.
(39:52):
This is all new to her.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Well, I can go to the whole lore thing later for you.
But how much are they giving you?
Like... five bucks?
Those bastards.
Can't even pay a livable wage.
Actually, with the exchange rate, it actually-
No, no, no, no, you don't have to lie.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
(40:12):
I'm a screw up.
You are.
I'm getting a little Scottish now.
I don't know what you just said, but I thought you told me to step on it.
So, and he's going to step on the cigarette.
Damn.
All right.
Connor's like, OK, OK, OK, no, no, no.
Look, I don't know where he was heading,
but he mentioned something about the Shedded Skin.
(40:34):
It's a nightclub on Titan.
That's all I know.
Really?
There?
Yeah, that's what I know.
Please stop making the floor dirty.
Understood.
Anything else you know?
No, that's it.
Can I, can I go now?
Where's he going to go?
He just admitted in front of the entire police station
that he got bought off by the mob.
(40:54):
The only place he's going to is a jail cell.
Did he not think about that?
Uh, well-
Connor's kind of stupid.
That's fine.
Same.
Ozzy's going to look at him up and down and just say,
all right, kid-
I'm 50.
All right, old man.
And he's going to put his foot off of the cigarette and just say,
(41:14):
now clean yourself up, whore.
And he's going to walk away.
Damn.
So Ozzy, you walk away.
Geena and the Juggernaut immediately pick this guy up
and the other cop who was there,
the Canadian one who-
Was not a part of it,
which I probably should have thought of at some point in time.
That's all right.
I'm, you know, it's good to be noticed.
I'm just glad to be part of your adventure, even for just a brief flicker.
(41:38):
I'm losing the Canadian.
I just went full Irish because Connor's so Irish.
Yeah, I get it.
Also, sorry you had to see that.
I know it's kind of graphic.
What, the littering? I mean, you know, that's fine.
It's not me that's a problem with it.
It's just this dickhole.
Well, it's up to him then.
Sure does.
The two of you start laughing in a sitcom bubble.
(42:02):
Yeah, Ozzy's going to look at Felicia and say,
see, you can make anything reality.
My head hurts.
Clock wipe.
Ozzy and Felicia, you are back-
well, Ozzy, you are back.
Felicia, you are now in Geena Radmist's office.
Geena's like, we'll take care of Connor.
He's not going to be-
(42:22):
He's going to tell us all he knows about the Muttonmouths
and about Bobby Lambino.
But the club he mentioned, the Shedded Skin,
I know where it is.
I need somebody to head over there,
but me and the Juggernaut got to stay back
and interrogate Connor.
I know this is asking a lot of the two of you,
but would you mind helping us out on this case?
Officially, I mean.
She's instantly just saying, go tell my boss,
(42:44):
go tell Blob Iger exactly what's going on
and what has been happening.
She's made her demands clear.
She wants her job back.
Felicia, if you help us with this,
I will personally call Blob Iger
and help you get your job back.
I'm in.
All right.
And what about you, Mr. Eisenhower?
Does he have a choice?
I thought he was a police detective.
Don't you guys have authority over him or something?
(43:04):
No, I'm a private detective.
I thought you were a police detective.
We've had discussion in previous sessions.
We have, and I've listened back to the episodes
recently enough to remember we determined he is a PI.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I'm a- trust me.
Like I said, I'd never been fired.
I just left the force.
Okay.
So there's a lot of stuff that happened
(43:25):
with that corn dog case and I don't know.
So what?
You take this job and you maybe get back
on the force or something?
What? No, what?
No.
Wait, if you join back on the force,
you can get the one that got away.
This corn dog fella.
First of all, he's not a fella.
He's Satan incarnate.
Not really, by the way, just so you know.
I know that, like I say that.
(43:46):
Yeah, thank you for clarifying that
because Satan definitely exists
in the Space Kings universe.
Yeah, it's not actually Satan,
but like- uh, but no, no.
What do I want?
You know what?
I don't know what you got to offer.
Well, for one thing,
we'll just kind of forget about you
trying to kill one of our agents.
I didn't do that.
(44:06):
The threat was there, Mr. Eisenhower,
but if you go through with this,
we'll let that go.
Will that be sufficient?
No.
Okay, then name your terms.
Would you like some money for this case?
For helping us out?
I want...
Okay, very weird request, I know,
but like, you know,
you know how there was that Scruff McGruff,
not the actual one that exists,
(44:27):
but like the spinoff in this universe.
I want to be one to one to kids
about the Corn Dog...
Snatcher.
Okay, so to be clear...
There is a complete,
there is a huge difference in our demands.
I want my job and livelihood back him.
Tell everyone about the Corn Dog Killer.
So your request is
(44:48):
you want the ICC, again, Space FBI,
to release information to the public
about the Corn Dog Snatcher.
Am I, did I get that right?
Yeah.
Cool.
Actually, no.
Actually, no, I lied.
Put me back on the case.
So you want to rejoin the force?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
My terms.
So you're pulling a Sherlock,
you're a consulting detective on this cold case.
(45:10):
No, no, no, no.
First of all, it's not cold.
He never lets a hot dog go to waste.
Ozzy, this case has been very cold.
He never lets a hot dog get that cold.
Okay, I mean, fair.
This is the thing that Ozzy is obsessed over.
So, you know.
Gosh, this is literally all he lived for at this moment.
But yeah, got a deal?
You let me take over once again.
Geena pauses for a second and says,
(45:32):
all right, if you help us take down
this underground fighting ring,
then we'll give you all the files
we have on the Corn Dog Snatcher.
You have files and you never gave- oh, you...
We were investigating him too.
What do you think we do here at the ICC?
Not enough, it seems.
Oh yeah?
Well, when did you catch him then, huh?
(45:53):
Geena says, crossing her arms.
He's got you there.
You never looked at the tape, did you?
What tape, Mr. Eisenhower?
Goodness gracious, we were getting so sidetracked.
Mr. Eisenhower, are you even a detective?
Well, that, yes.
Look, back on the case, my terms, understood?
Yeah, okay, fine, Geena says.
(46:15):
We'll put you back on the case.
We'll give you all the files we have on them.
Just, yeah, fine, sure.
Cool, all right.
Geena leans back in her chair, sighs and says,
all right, well, thank you both.
And she reaches into her desk
and pulls out a little like accordion folder,
riffles through the contents
and pulls out a business card
(46:36):
and hands it to you, Felicia.
The business card says, the Shedded Skin
and gives you the address.
And Geena says, this is where Connor said
Lambino was headed to.
It's our only lead right now,
so I guess you gotta head down there.
Yeah, yeah, we can do that.
Thanks, appreciate it.
Got anything in that drawer for me?
(46:58):
Or is this one of those like here,
you're waiting for me to get it before I, you know.
Ozzy, she reaches into her desk
and pulls out a lollipop and hands it to you.
He puts it in his mouth.
I'm gonna flip a card for lollipop flavor.
What do you think Ozzy's second-most favorite lollipop flavor is?
Cause that's what it would be.
(47:18):
This is hardly important, but.
Root beer would be number one.
I'm gonna say cotton candy.
All right, it's a cotton candy lollipop.
Pretty good.
Put it this way, it was a 10 on the card scale.
So pretty solid.
You know what?
I was gonna say something smart,
but got me there, got me there.
Well, I'm just glad I could be of service.
She pushes the drawer back in.
(47:39):
He puts a cigarette in his mouth also.
Good, so lollipop and a cigarette.
All right, hey, is the kid here?
I'm gonna do a quick flip for that as well.
God damn it, this is the one I get the Crit on.
So yes, Carley is super here.
They're in the room right now.
Carley's gonna help.
No, she's not gonna help.
(47:59):
I'm not putting Carley on this fucking mission.
Carley does run into the room
and just runs up to the Juggernaut
and gives him a big hug,
which of course he reciprocates
cause the Juggernaut is a good dad.
Good for him.
And then Carley walks over to you two.
Felicia, you look down at this kid who
you were genuinely trying to help
(48:20):
and even though it didn't work out,
you still look at Carley and you're like,
you feel a little better
by looking at her little smile-
Oh crap, did she hear about the whole
Felicia being unemployed thing?
I'm gonna say no,
but she is sensing that something
is very wrong with you.
Not with you, but-
And I have to keep up an act.
And everything's okay.
(48:40):
She is looking up at you
with a comforting smile.
Miss Felicia?
Yes?
Thanks for helping me find my dad.
No problem.
She gives you a little hug.
She's happy with this.
And you too, Mr. Ozzy.
Thanks so much.
Hey kid- he's gonna like kneel down.
I appreciate you helping out
and you know I'm sorry
you had to see me with, you know,
(49:02):
space rabies.
I mean, not necessarily space,
you get what I mean?
The zombie rabies.
Does she know about zombies?
Yeah, I've seen them on the TV.
Very different, but anyway.
Mr. Ozzy, I-
Eisenhower.
Oh, oh sorry, Mr. Eisenhower,
I'm just learning your last name.
(49:24):
I know that you said
you wanted to kill my dad, but-
I didn't want to, but yeah, go on.
I forgive you for saying
that you would kill my dad
to get into this convention.
I understand, I guess.
You know what?
You're a pretty cool kid.
But also, I appreciate you helping out
(49:45):
and I want you to-
I want you to have this.
He's gonna pull out a cigarette
and give it to her and say,
now look, don't smoke this.
Whenever you hear something bad on the TV
and you're worried that something bad
might be happening to Felicia,
just remember,
as long as you got that cigarette,
she'll be safe.
(50:05):
So don't ever light it.
Well, that's very, very sweet.
Can you please flip
Presence and Persuasion just real quick?
Presence and, what's my Persuasion?
Okay, so that's five cards.
Two successes.
Excellent.
Because I will say,
you did just hand Carley a cigarette
while her dad is in the room,
but-
Yeah, that was intentional.
(50:26):
Well, the Juggernaut notices this
and although he was initially like,
why the fuck are you giving
my daughter a cigarette?
Once he hears what you have to say,
he is like,
all right, okay, fine.
We'll have to talk about this later,
but I guess it's a heartwarming moment.
But Carley is immediately like,
hey, remember that thing I did?
(50:46):
And she pulls out a match
and lights it on her skin.
And the Juggernaut is like,
Carley, where did you learn to do that?
Yo, that's pretty cool.
I mean, I'm not even gonna hide it.
You know, that was pretty cool.
Ozzy, you remember the first time
you met Carley,
you had her like strike a match
on her skin.
And now she's doing it again
in front of her dad.
(51:08):
Taught her to make fire.
Just because it's the end of the session,
I'm just gonna be like,
all right, the Juggernaut is gonna be like,
all right, you two get the hell out of here
and keep us up to date on your progress.
And like pushes you out
and slams the door behind him.
I think that went pretty well.
Let's get this on-
let's get started.
No, do you need some water?
I'm fine.
(51:29):
Yeah, okay.
Look, I know a depressed face
when I see one.
I have a mirror.
Not depressed,
because now there's a chance
things will go back to normal.
You sound very determined.
You know what?
I like this.
I think we're gonna do very well with this.
I like how he's grown as a character.
Has he?
I don't think...
Ozzy has not grown as a character,
(51:49):
he just no longer has rabies.
Well, no, he's definitely different
than when we first met him.
Yeah, you were the grump of the group.
Oh, he still is.
Yeah, and I'm not gonna say that-
I would hardly call your recent,
the line you just gave here
as being the grump.
Yeah, you are not so grump.
Yeah, you're softening up pretty hard.
And it's not that Felicia was like
(52:09):
the immediate yang,
like just the pure optimist,
but I guess compared to her
in her current state,
even with this like carrot dangling,
like, yeah, maybe you can get your job back.
Ozzy, you're kind of in a better
mental state at the moment,
which is rare.
I'm into it.
I vibe with it.
Well, the two of you
with renowned... confidence?
Head out of the police station
(52:31):
on a mission,
and that is where we end.
Good times.
Good times for everybody.
Good times.
(52:55):
Thanks for listening to Live Laugh Loot.
We're currently using the Space King system
developed and published by SuperTry Studios.
You can learn more about this game
or buy it yourself at supertry.itch.io
slash spacekings.
Follow us on Bluesky
at livelaughloot.bsky.social
or email us at livelaughlootpodcast
(53:15):
@gmail.com.
Our intro music is Out of Control
by Chill Carrier,
and our outro music is
One Point to Another by Rockit Maxx.
See the episode description
to find out what other songs
played this episode
or to check licensing information.
To learn more about this podcast
or listen to more episodes,
check us out at livelaughloot.libsyn.com
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