Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to
another episode of the
Imperfectly Empowered podcast.
Nina Manolson is aboard-certified health coach and
psychology of eating coach.
She is a provider for womenover 40 who have tried other
diets and approaches to end thewar with their body and food to
create body peace.
(00:22):
Welcome, mind-body eating coach, Nina Manolson.
Nina looks amazing.
There's so much color for thoseof you listening and not
watching.
She's got a pink like boomstickcover and her actual like arm
my arm is pink.
Anyway, looks fantastic.
I'm black.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
I'm like all black
over here.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
I'm recovering from
laryngitis and I'm in sweats.
I'm going with a no makeupmakeup.
Look, here we are, there we go.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
Here we are, and it's
lovely to be with you.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
It's so lovely to
have you here.
I really enjoy what you do.
I always say that I get excitedwhen I see people in the health
and fitness space that havereally niched down to a very
specific struggle and it'spowerful because then you really
become an expert in the onething and you know in your case
(01:16):
that one thing is relevant tomany, especially women, with
this concept of food piece, bodypiece, this idea of being able
to break free from this strangetoxic cycle that and yet our
(01:37):
world doesn't think it's strangeat all.
Right, and we profit off of it.
Right, right, right.
Like, let's be honest, people,women, if you didn't have this
realization yet, companies areprofiting off of your insecurity
(01:57):
.
I won't even, I could do awhole series on that, but
absolutely they are profiting onour insecurity and feeling like
somehow we're not enough.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
So I would love.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
before we dive into
that, I would love to hear a
little bit about how you got towhere you are, which is so
specific with helping womenovercome that toxic relationship
with food and their body.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
So you know, I
completely want to launch right
into everything you're saying.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
I know, I know, you
said toxic relationship with
their body.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
That is it.
We are having a relationshipwith our body.
It is the longest relationshipof our whole life.
We're born into this body.
We will die in this body.
This is a primary relationshipthat informs almost every single
other relationship we have inour life, and so my relationship
with my body, which is how Igot to this work, was terrible.
(02:54):
I would look in the mirrorevery day and be like, oh,
that's wrong, that's wrong,that's wrong.
And now how am I going to fixit?
What's the newest, latest,greatest diet that's rolling?
That has me fixing my perceivedproblem, which is my body.
But that's actually not theissue.
(03:14):
The issue isn't that our bodyneeds fixing.
It's that our relationship withour body and with our food
needs some support to heal thetoxic patterns that we've
created.
Right?
So many women I talked toliterally are afraid of food.
Oh, no, can't eat that.
(03:36):
Yeah, yeah, oh.
That's not a good thing.
It's food.
It's here to nourish us,literally.
I just why I was like a minutelate.
I was just getting off with aclient who said oh my gosh, I'm
so grateful for your playfulrelationship with food because I
grew up with an aggressiverelationship do you think that
(04:01):
is?
Speaker 1 (04:01):
when you look back to
your own, you know the nurtured
environment that we grew up in,forms so much of our.
You know relationships andperceptions of ourself and
others.
But when you look back at yourown experience, what do you
think contributed to your toxicrelationship with yourself?
(04:22):
And food, Okay, Like what wouldyou say in your life?
Speaker 2 (04:26):
Right.
So the things that impacted myrelationship with my body are
things that I know for a factbecause I've worked with women
for 30 years in theirrelationship with their body
impacts many, and the firstthing was when I was nine, being
brought to Weight Watchers.
Was when I was nine, beingbrought to Weight Watchers.
(04:49):
Oh my, wow.
You know as my mom, with bestintentions, weight Watchers had
just started.
This is the newest thing tomake us healthy.
Let's do this together Like amom and kid bonding thing.
Well, right away I learned somefoods were good foods and some
foods were bad foods and Iinternalized if I ate the bad
foods I was bad and if I ate thegood foods I was good.
(05:10):
Right.
So right away, at nine yearsold, that already set it off
right.
Then you put me into middleschool, high school, where
there's a standard of whatbeauty is.
School, where there's astandard of what beauty is,
there's a cultural, idealizedstandard, which was echoed in 17
magazine which I gobbled upright when I was 14, 15, 16, I
(05:34):
was like this is what you'resupposed to look like.
Well, I didn't look like that.
I was not tall or blonde orthin.
Now the reality in my life is.
I will never be tall or blondeor thin.
That's not who I am genetically.
And yet that was theunrealistic ideal that was held
(05:54):
in front of me my entire lifeand they profited you guys.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It's a whole
marketing scheme and this is not
to be like one of thosedoomsday conspiracy theorists,
but this is reality.
The industry profits on us andwe keep feeding it.
We are sabotaging ourselves, soI'm going to throw that out
there.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
So what you're saying
is so important, anna?
Because what you're saying iswe are encouraged to feel badly
about ourselves because then thecommercial beauty industry, the
anti-aging industry, the dietindustry can swoop in and say I
got the fix for you, just buythis thing and you will be all
(06:40):
better.
The diet industry is a 72billion with a B, $72 billion
industry that is aimed at usfeeling like we're not good
enough in our body and if we buythis book, supplement, new diet
, new program, we will, ta-da,suddenly all things will be
better.
(07:00):
It's the promise, right.
Suddenly all things will bebetter.
It's the promise right.
If you change your body, thenyou will have the beauty, the
social currency, the better joband you will win at life
(08:05):
no-transcript.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
But that's changed.
Now it's the high rise jeans,and so there are things that
change.
But the concept of what you'resaying, I think, is something we
underestimate as women.
How much money is profited viasocial marketing, and now, with
social media, it's worse thanever to an image of a best life
(08:33):
scenario, and it is oftenfocused on our appearance.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Absolutely, and so
it's really important for us to
look at what am I buying into?
What am I buying?
And what am I buying into Right?
What am I believing in thismoment?
That my body is not good enough.
So for me in my life, I boughtinto it.
Right, I am not thin enough.
There wasn't much I could doabout my height, but okay so,
(08:59):
but I could try, try, try to bereally, really thin, and so I
bought into a gazillion dietsover the centuries of you know,
like every single decade, comingout with 5, 10, 20, 30 new big
diets and trying them all to thepoint where I literally was
(09:21):
like, wow, I am bored with myown thoughts, because my thought
was I shouldn't have eaten that.
What diet am I going to starttomorrow?
Oh my gosh, I was really badtoday.
Maybe I should start againtomorrow.
No, no, I really blew italready for the week.
Let me just eat whatever I want.
I'll start again on Monday.
That is what was taking up thespace in my head.
(09:43):
I have a lot more importantthings to do in life than think
about what I ate, what I shouldeat, and then what's the next
thing that I should do to fix mybody.
As women, we are way morepowerful than that, and so that
conversation in my head reallybrought me into doing this work.
(10:04):
And initially my work wasworking with women as a body
worker, as a massage therapist,and so every day I my hands were
on women, hearing their bodystories, hearing the trauma,
hearing how they felt abouttheir bodies, supporting them
and feeling safe enough to relaxa little bit.
So much so that I had awonderful supervisor who said I
(10:27):
said I feel like I'm doingtherapy with people, and she
said, yeah, you are.
And so then I went back and gota master's in counseling
psychology, became a therapist,and I was still struggling with
food and body.
So I was like you know what?
I'm going to get this once andfor all.
I'm going to study nutritionand then I'm going to know how
to do it right.
Well, that wasn't it either.
(10:48):
And so what?
I realized that it was aconfluence of so many factors
how we feel in our body, ourability to listen into our body,
how we feel about what themessages were that we got about
our body, how we feel about ourmother, how we feel about other
women right, the wholepsychological and belief piece,
(11:11):
as well as what works for mybody, not what's the nutritional
superfood of the moment, butwhat do I know about my own
biology?
And so, when I'm working in allof those arenas and diving into
the psychology of eating andintuitive eating and body trust
work, I've created this wholebody of work that I call body
peace, because it's not aboutlike, and now I will love my
(11:36):
body forever, because I'm aboutto be 60 and my body has changed
over the years and all bodieschange, and so it's not about
like and now I have the perfectbody and it's going to stay
forever.
It will change, guaranteed.
If you are alive.
Your body is changing by themoment, and women more than most
(11:57):
understand that because itchanges every month.
Yes, yeah.
So to be in this relationshipwith our body is where it's at,
and to learn how to have arelationship where we're
listening, where we'rerespectful, where we're
supportive to ourself, that's awhole new relationship.
(12:18):
And it's often when I'm sitting, like on a plane, and someone
goes.
So Nina, what do you, what doyou do, like on a plane, and
someone goes.
So, nina, what do you do?
If I say I'm a body piece coach, that sort of goes right over
their head.
So I say I'm a therapist and Iwork with women and their
relationship with their body, alittle like couples counseling,
except instead of someone intheir partner, it's a woman and
her own body, because that'swhere the healing work has to
(12:42):
happen in the relationship.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
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I love that.
I love that.
Well before we dive into Nina'sexpert advice on how to make
peace with your body and food,she didn't know she was signing
up for this.
We're going to play a littleround of, would you rather?
We're going to get to know Ninaa little bit better here.
(14:00):
And I mean, why not start withfood?
Let's do that.
Would you rather candy or bakedgoods for your sweet treat?
Speaker 2 (14:10):
Oh, baked goods.
I'm a big baked goods person.
I love.
I grew up in Montreal.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
I grew up in the land
of croissants and oh, I could
not have said that.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Oh, I could not have
said that, yeah, I'm going to go
to Montreal, I'm moving.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
That was fantastic.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, so that was
like.
And I there's one of myfavorite things is pain au
chocolat, which is the croissantwith the chocolate in it, and
growing up in Montreal they callit a chocolatine.
And that was like I would on myway to school.
I would pick up a chocolatineand sit on the subway and eat it
.
Oh, it was heaven, yeah goodchildhood memory, delicious.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
I'm sure.
It's much better than the oneat Panera.
That's the only one I can thinkof.
That's the one that it is.
It is the like somewhathardened stick of chocolate
that's been that's half meltedin the croissant.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I feel sad.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
I feel like I've been
deprived of a real croissant
experience.
That's sad.
Okay, well, we're going toMontreal.
Would you rather coffee or tea?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I am a tea drinker.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
I am an herbal tea
drinker.
What's your favorite?
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yeah, I love classic
mint tea.
Yeah, I love classic mint tea.
I especially love mint tea.
Um, when I'm in countries wherethey just literally you ask for
mint tea and they give you acup of hot water with like
practically like an entire mintplant just stuck in there and
I'm like, oh funny, yeah, okay,mint tea, great, got it.
Thanks, like super fresh.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
It sounds amazing.
Now, when you say mint likewhat type of mint?
Is it like a blend?
Speaker 2 (15:50):
spearmint no, you
often spearmint, yeah, in a bag.
If I get it in a bag I'll oftenget like a good mint blend like
uh puka teas.
Puka herbal teas has a nicelike mint blend which I love.
They have high quality um teabags Um.
But you know, if you're out andthere's, you're in that kind of
(16:11):
space where they're just goingto take a mint plant and stick
it, all the mint leaves, intoyour cup often it's spearmint.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Interesting, which is
not happening a whole lot, at
least not in my area.
No, I would love to gosomewhere where when my husband
and I went to Hawaii, we justremember being like okay, like
we're not in Kansas anymore,even though it's America.
It was like a whole differentculture, because we were like
ordering papaya and the onemorning they didn't have it and
(16:40):
they were like it's not ripe yet, the tree isn't ripe yet in the
back.
And we were like okay, that isa that's farm to table fast.
I was going to say farm to table, yeah, tree to table, in this
case, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Love that?
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Um, okay, would you
rather you have the opportunity
to spend an evening doing one ofthe two?
Would you rather decorate or doa craft?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
decorate, decorate
like that's a fast answer, I am.
She was like decorate.
I'm absolutely seen her eyes.
She was like decorate.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
I mean, look at her
setup.
Why did I even ask that?
She's got like the cutestdecorated setup ever.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
I am not crafty and
yet as a kid what I would do is
like, in the when I couldn'tsleep, I would move my whole
room around.
I would like move my bed andmove my dresser and my mama come
in the morning Like it's like a10-year-old, 12-year-old, I
like push everything and she'dcome in and she'd be like ah,
decorating last night and I waslike mm-hmm, and I come by it
(17:42):
naturally.
So my mom is very much alive.
She's 92 years old and we stilljoke that her home has pictures
that are just sitting againstthe wall, not hung up.
But it's because she's forevermoving them around to just
create the exact vibe that shewants at that particular time of
(18:03):
year.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
It's almost like a
stress reliever or something.
It's like a subconscious.
You're probably like shiftingthings in your mind, as you're
shifting pieces in your roomAbsolutely, absolutely.
That's hilarious, I love that.
Okay, last question Would yourather camp in the woods or go
to a house on the beach?
Speaker 2 (18:28):
I'm going to say
house on the beach.
I do like camping.
I do like camping and itdoesn't have to be glamping,
although that's a very nicething.
But the reason why the house onthe beach is I am a swimmer
like a serious swimmer and so tobe on a beach, for me, whether
it's a pond or an ocean, but tobe by water, just it's.
(18:51):
That to me, is my most corenervous system, that's how I
care for my nervous system.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Yeah, interesting.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Is water and swimming
, and so I'll often just be like
, okay, let's get in the pond.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Let's get in the
ocean.
I'll get in a pool too, but youknow I'm in.
I love that man.
I wish I was was a swimmer.
I remember training for a minitriathlon after college.
I was very fit.
I ran track in college and Igot in the pool with my like
cheap walmart goggles and Iswear there was an 80 year old
woman who probably didn't havean ounce of body fat on her.
She just like zoomed past melike lap, because we just share
(19:34):
lanes, and I'm like like it's awhole thing.
It's a whole thing, I wish.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
I was a swimmer but
swimming, the difference between
swimmers who just like keepgoing, like I'm a long-distance
swimmer, and swimmers like thatyou're saying like it's really
learning how to breathe in thewater.
That's the whole thing, becausewe can all get stronger at.
You know you can swim slowly andthen you gain strength, and
(20:01):
then it's really learning how tobreathe regularly and being
comfortable in the water.
Um, it takes, you know, andI've gone through.
I'll geek out on swimming for asecond here, but I go through
stages of sort of trying tolearn something new.
And my brother is also a bigswimmer because we grew up near
water and I said to him he waslike let's go swimming in the
(20:25):
ocean.
And I was like you know what?
I'm really not enjoying itanymore because I get hit by the
waves and I'm swallowing water.
It's just not fun.
He was like you need to breathe.
You're only turning your headto the right to breathe.
You need to learn how to turnyour your head to the left and
breathe left so that if thewaves are coming one way, you're
breathing on the other side.
And I was like I don't know howto alternate side breathe.
(20:47):
And he was like learn.
And so I literally went to afriend of mine.
I mean words of wisdom, rightthere, right, just learn.
And I was like okay, likeclassic brother advice, just
freaking, learn it already,right.
So I spent really a long timelearning a skill and it taught
(21:09):
me a lot about learning anyskill, because I didn't expect
myself to know how to do this,and this actually applies to how
we listen to our body, how weare in relationship, to think
like, okay, and now I'm going tobe great at it.
Because literally for the firstfour months of trying to learn
this new skill, every time Iwould turn, I was very good at
(21:30):
breathing to my right.
Every time I picked up my leftarm to breathe to my left, I had
to say to myself breathe now,breathe now, breathe now.
And literally it took years twoyears for me to be where I am
now, which I can breathe easilyeither side.
When we're asking for our bodyto be in a different
(21:58):
relationship with us, we need tobe patient, a little bit like
learning a new language, right?
Often I talk to my clients aboutlike so what does your body say
?
What is, how does your bodyfeel when you eat?
That when and they'll like,I'll have clients will be like I
don't know what happened.
It was late at night and then Istarted eating and I couldn't
stop eating and I felt like Ihad this big binge like let's go
(22:22):
back.
What was happening in your body?
I don't know Right.
So part of the work is let'slearn how our bodies are
speaking.
One of the courses I dodifferent courses and one of
them is a body listening lab.
Right, how do we actuallydevelop that ability, right?
How do we actually develop thatability?
And just like for me inswimming, it takes a while to
learn that language and get thatto be an automatic movement, an
(22:44):
automatic.
I don't have to tell myselfbreathe every single time.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
Now, it's a great
reminder though it is, and I
just want to pause for a secondfor women listening, because I
think this is something that isworth repeating, If you missed
everything that she just said.
Um, to give a correlation, mynine-year-old is playing
baseball for the first time ever.
We're a football family and hewanted to play baseball, so we
(23:08):
were like, okay, here we go.
And he told me the other day hejust had his very first game
ever and he said Mom, I feellike I'm so focused on thinking
about what to do that I'm notdoing it.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
And I was like well,
there's my crazy intelligent
nine-year-old son.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
But it was so
poignant because what you're
saying you know.
And then my husband, who was afootball coach for 10 years.
I repeated this to my husbandand you know he said, caleb,
like, just so you know, this isprecisely the trajectory to
success, because you're normal,you have to think about the
thing that you're going to do,and so you keep telling yourself
(23:45):
hit the ball, run first base.
hit the ball run to first baseand before you know it, you're
not even thinking about firstbase anymore.
Now you're like second base,hit the ball, second base.
And so what you're saying isexactly right.
And I think where we get lostsometimes with any new habit,
but especially when it's so tiedinto our sense of self-worth
and how we feel about ourselves,like what you are doing is
(24:09):
remembering that, like you don'tstart baseball by hitting the
ball and instantly thinking homerun the first thing is first
base.
So like we have to be able tobreak it down, which is what you
do so well, when you look atyour website and all the courses
you offer is like this is basic.
You have to start thinkingabout what you feel and believe
(24:29):
about your body when you'rebinge eating.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, and so anyway,
it was a beautiful.
Speaker 1 (24:34):
I love that
transition.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
No, I love, I love,
love, love that example.
But the other thing that'spowerful about the example is
your son didn't say okay, don'tyou know drop the bat.
Don't you know look down when Irun?
No, hit the ball.
Run to first base, right?
(24:56):
Those are additive phrases.
I didn't say don't you knowturn my head too much when I
breathe.
I said breathe now, right.
So when we give ourselvesmessages around food or body
don't eat that, you know.
Don't eat that.
(25:22):
Don't criticize, don't, don't,don't that doesn't actually
support a supportiverelationship with our body.
It doesn't support respect, itdoesn't support an amplifying,
growing, blossoming relationship.
It creates more restriction andtightness.
We want to feel spacious, wewant to feel light, we want to
feel expansive in life, becausethat lets us be energized and do
(25:44):
the things that we are here todo.
So if we're in this place ofdon't do that, don't do this,
right, often people are likewell, they come to me and
they're like I feel like I'meating too much sugar.
I feel like I'm eating, maybe Ishould stop gluten, stop this,
stop that, Stop that.
I'm like let's talk about whatyou want to add.
Let's just drop all the no'sand let's move towards what you
(26:07):
want to add.
What does your body need?
I spend way more time than youcould ever imagine telling,
reminding women that we actuallyrequire food, that we're at.
I've spent way more time thanyou could ever imagine telling,
reminding women that we actuallyrequire food, that we're humans
.
Humans require food.
Yes, that's right.
Like I'm like I didn't evenimagine this would ever be part
of my work.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
I thought it would be
like but women back on this,
cut back on that and thenthey're like oh, it's better if
I eat less.
Speaker 2 (26:33):
Well then we've just
deregulated our blood sugar, our
nervous system, our metabolism,our metabolism, our ability to
listen to our body.
So you know, if you takenothing else from our
conversation on a, you know thatour listeners is to really like
what do I need to add?
How do I want to nourish myself?
(26:57):
How do I want to nourish therelationship with my body?
Speaker 1 (27:01):
Yeah, and then I
think there has to be a sense of
like.
What you just said is thenthere's, instead of the sense of
cutting, I would say it'screating boundaries it's this
idea of like.
You know so I was a fitnessnutrition coach for several
years and one of the things thatI frequently talked about with
clients is fully believe thatthe reality is we actually need
(27:24):
to fuel our body with more ofthe right food.
It's not just more food, it'smore of the right food at the
right time for the right reasons.
But then the danger is that, atthe right time for the right
reasons, but then the danger isthat what we're not doing is
then creating the boundaries forourself recognizing and this
comes with the body work thatyou're talking about the
(27:46):
awareness of what is sucking meinto, not just in life and what
I'm feeling but sometimes wehave to create those boundaries
initially to help support theright choices.
So it's like, yes, you need toeat more of the right thing,
let's add that.
But then for now, until youhave created a new baseline, you
(28:07):
need to stop buying Oreos bythe bulk from Costco.
Create some space for yourselfto indulge without giving
yourself, you know, the drug ofchoice and the access to it.
Like how do you create, how doyou encourage your clients to
create boundaries with physicalawareness of how they're feeling
(28:30):
and how then they're respondingyeah or don't you.
It gets tricky.
Speaker 2 (28:35):
It gets tricky from
around.
I hear what you're saying aboutboundaries.
What I find for women is ifthey say don't buy the Oreos,
then it becomes.
The Oreos become bigger thanthey are.
Yes, just like they start to bevery like, a valuable, like, oh
and fear, if we give ourselvesthat full permission to eat.
(28:58):
Okay, I can have Oreos Then doI want the Oreo?
Is the Oreo tasty?
Am I even awake at the platewhile I'm eating the Oreo?
Like, let's actually have arelationship with Oreos.
Do I maybe not even like Oreosas much as I like I don't know
oatmeal, raisin cookies or Idon't know cream puffs like what
(29:19):
do I actually want instead ofit?
And maybe Oreos was thischildhood food that when I came
home from school and nobody wasthere, there were Oreos left for
me.
And so now it's like, what isthere's more to unpack?
And when you talk aboutboundaries, I think that's very
powerful.
Okay, because I talk to womenall day who are like eating at
(29:42):
their computer because they'reworking so hard.
Let's create a boundary for youto actually eat and stop and
enjoy and honor yourself.
Right?
Because sometimes the Oreosgreat.
I have Costco size bag of Oreosbecause I'm not even stopping
to cook myself anything and youknow what?
(30:02):
This will just keep me rollingall day long.
So let's unpack what the Oreosare.
What's your relationship withthe Oreos?
Because as soon as we say no,we always have this wonderful
inner rebel that goes yeah, I'mdoing it anyway, don't tell me
no.
The whole world has told me noabout what I can't eat, so no
way are you telling me.
No, I'm going to do it anywayand I'm going to double down on
(30:25):
it.
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Yeah, and so we want
to honor those different types.
Yeah, the psychology of no, itis the psychology of eating.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
It's the psychology
of no, but it's also really the
psychology of eating and thepsychology of food and we have
to get into that, especially ifwe have a lot of complex and
sort of struggle in that place.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
Yeah, what would you
say is the first step to you
know I'm thinking of.
I'm thinking of the woman whohas been um overweight for most
of her adult life and weclassify that around here as
body fat percentage because weall know the scale is a terrible
reflection of your overallhealth.
But this idea of um,physiologically speaking, is at
(31:12):
disease risk because she iscarrying too high of a body fat
percentage and that has beenmost of her life's experience
and she has maybe never lived ata healthy body fat percentage.
So she has to, like what you'resaying, probably lived with
most of her life with a sense ofguilt, shame, bad eating cycles
(31:43):
, et cetera, tried many, manydiets.
What is her first practicalstep to starting to end this
toxic cycle and creating thisbody piece?
Speaker 2 (31:50):
So there's a couple
of things.
One is the way that she's sortof just even naming her body,
right If she's saying well, I'moverweight.
I would just say I'm in a largerbody.
People come in all sorts ofbodies small bodies, tall bodies
, big bodies, all kinds ofbodies.
So if we can take away thelabels and be like, okay, this
(32:12):
is my body, it's a large body,because we all know people who
are in large bodies, who arevery, have great metrics in
terms of health metrics, and weall know people in small bodies
who have terrible metrics interms of blood pressure and you
know blood sugar levels and allthose metrics that actually
(32:33):
matter, whereas the number, asyou said, the number on the
scale, doesn't matter that much,right?
What matters is what are themetrics that are important to
you?
So first, let's drop all thename calling of our bodies and
let's actually get intorelationship with your body.
(32:55):
So, ana, I'm wondering if I caninvite you into a little
experiment with me, because thisis often one of the things that
I, that I teach and invitepeople into, and it's a very
beginning step, which is toclose your eyes, put your hand
on your heart and say the wordshello body, hello body, and then
(33:16):
notice what happens when youjust stop with physical contact
with yourself and say hey, hi,hi, and then try one more thing
what do you call your son Like?
Do you call him sweetie hon?
What do you call?
Speaker 1 (33:35):
him.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Buddy, buddy.
Okay, so try this with youreyes closed, hand in your heart,
and be like hey, buddy, how areyou feeling?
Speaker 1 (33:47):
today.
Hey, buddy, how are you feelingtoday?
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Okay, and what do you
notice?
What do you notice comes upwhen you just stop and make
space for checking in with yourbody in a kind and compassionate
way.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Um, I well, I'm
smiling because I'm thinking of
my son, smiling because I'mthinking of my son.
So I would say there's a senseof joy and a sense of peace.
I think would be appropriate.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
There's a sense of
home.
I would say that speaks a lotright to your relationship, that
you have developed the sense oflike this is home.
A lot of women start sayinghello and their body's like oh,
you're talking to me.
And then we have to go fromthere and some people are like
your body is like, oh, my gosh,you're talking to me, yay.
(34:56):
And then when we talk to ourbody with that endearment hey,
honey, hey love, hey buddy it'slike, oh, we're on the same team
, we are allies, we are not at awar, we are not in an
aggressive relationship, we arenot at odds, we're together on
this.
(35:16):
That's where we want to start,because it's the beginning of
any relationship.
Right, I jumped on to talk toyou.
Hi, we say hello, we makecontact.
Our lives as women we aretaught to not make contact, to
(35:38):
ignore, to run over all thesensations.
I'm not tired, I got coffee.
I'm not tired, I got chocolate.
I'm not unhappy.
I got more chocolate.
I'm not I don't have wrinkles.
Speaker 1 (35:53):
I have Botox.
Speaker 2 (35:59):
Right, I'm not.
I'm not anything.
I got something.
You know, I'm not hungry.
I got a energy bar, yeah yeah.
So we want to engage, we wantto have that hello, and then we
want to create a conversationsuch that we're really
responding to this one wiseteacher that we get, which is
(36:20):
our body.
Speaker 1 (36:26):
What would you say is
the most common when women they
start working with you and theyare pausing.
I think that's one of thegreatest secrets to what I'm
seeing that you're doing withwomen, especially in this hustle
culture and the busyness thatrules so much of our lives.
I think the space that I'mseeing that you say in your
(36:48):
experience is the most commonshift that clients make in that
(37:08):
journey.
So meaning, as you start towork with them and they become
more and more in tune with theirbody.
Obviously peace, you know,based on the program description
, is the end goal.
But I'm curious, in yourexperience working with women
for so many years, what is theshift, practically as well as
internally, so externally andinternally that you see women
(37:31):
making?
after they do this work.
So, internally and thenpractically with food.
After they do this work, sointernally and then practically
with food, how are they actuallycarrying out this newfound
relationship?
Speaker 2 (37:41):
So what happens when
women start to be in this
conversation with their body?
What develops is acompassionate relationship
versus the bullying relationshipthat most of us have.
There was a client I talked toonce we were starting to get
into this work and she said, ohmy gosh, I realize I've been in
(38:03):
an abusive relationship with mybody my whole life.
And she said I wouldn'ttolerate this from anyone else.
The things I call myself,things I call myself, the
situations that I put myself in,what I expect of myself.
She said it's abusive and toxic.
(38:30):
And she said, wow, I feel likeI missed this day at school
about how to actually be kindand caring and supportive of
myself.
And I was like, no, you didn'tmiss the day of school, it never
was taught.
We were not taught that.
We were taught the antithesis.
We were taught to be aggressive.
So one of the first things thathappened is women start to have
(38:52):
a kind and caring, supportive,nourishing, responsive
relationship with their body andthen, from that place,
self-care gets activated in away that doesn't feel like oh, I
really should go to the gym, Ireally should eat this.
It comes from a place of.
This is somebody I care about.
(39:13):
Of course I'm going to treatthem well.
Of course I'm going to stop andgo for a swim, or go for a walk
because it's beautiful outside,or stop for lunch because I
deserve to stop and eat.
Self-care goes out of theshould category.
It comes off of the oh to-dolist.
(39:34):
It comes into yes, hello, humanbeing on this planet.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
And as a human being
on this planet, I am going to
support myself, love thecorrelation that you just made
between the idea of when there'sa critical mindset, there's not
a compassionate one, and whenyou change that then to
compassion, it's an abundancementality is what I'm hearing.
(40:01):
It's like an instead of thissense of when there's
self-criticism, it's likethere's a lack and then it's
almost a response that anythingto fill that is like heavy and
burdensome, as opposed to whenthere's self-compassion, then
it's an abundance and it sendsit's a sense of like yes, I'm
(40:23):
going to do this, I get to dothis.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Right and you can
absolutely see it through that
lens of abundance.
Kristen Neff, who's aself-compassion researcher who's
done a lot of the this powerfulwork in the last 15 years.
She talks about the correlationbetween self-compassion and
self-care because it doesn'tcome from.
(40:47):
I am broken and so I need to befixed.
It comes from a place of I'm ahuman, and humans deserve to eat
, they deserve to rest, theydeserve sleep, they deserve
daylight, Like.
These are things that humansneed.
If we were a plant, we wouldyou know.
(41:08):
If we had a plant, we would putthem in the sun and give them
water.
Same for us, because we look atthe plant and we go oh lovely
plant, Aren't you awesome?
Speaker 1 (41:18):
Yeah, we want you to
shine and grow.
I love the concept and I lovethe focus, especially for our
listeners, those of you watchingas well, I think when you know,
you know right, like whatyou're saying, there's instantly
(41:40):
like the woman who's like yup,right.
It's like as soon as you starttalking, that woman who
resonates with what you'resaying instantly knows you're
speaking to her because what youdo is so specific, which is
what I love.
So for those of you listeningand watching, if this resonates
with you, you've done all thediets, you have done the
(42:01):
deprivation thing, you've triedto stop buying the Costco Oreos,
right, and it's still notworking.
You're still binge eating.
I'll highly encourage you tocheck out Nina's website.
See what she does.
She's got amazing freeresources as well to help you
get kickstarted.
Nina, tell us a little bitabout your website, what people
(42:23):
can um, how people can work withyou, and anything else you want
them to know.
Speaker 2 (42:29):
Absolutely, um, and I
want to.
I want to come back to theflower metaphor, because one
thing I didn't tell you on writebody piece poems, and there's
one specific poem that's likeright on point.
So let me come back to that ina second.
The free resources that I wouldrecommend people just starting
on this path are one is thepracticing body piece journal.
(42:52):
It's free 20 questions on therethat I would ask you if you
were sitting with me in asession.
And there's some body piecepoems.
You'll get a flavor of that ina second.
And the other is the body piecemasterclass, and in that I
really dive deep, deep into thedifferent kinds of relationships
that we have with our body,because in our world as women
(43:13):
right now, like, the criticalrelationship is the one that
most of us know, but there areother ones that we have and
other ones that we're capable ofhaving.
So that class really gets in towhat's possible if we don't
want to stick in thatrelationship.
And both of those resources arefree.
And I work with womenindividually in groups.
(43:34):
I have classes with womenindividually in groups.
I have classes um, bodylistening lab, compassionate,
eating, body piece and aging Um,a lot of body piece starter kit
is also a great way to get onthis path.
So, anna, can I um jump intothis poem?
Yeah, I would love that.
Okay, so, because we weretalking about flowers and like
(43:56):
if you had a flower, you wouldput it in your, in your window,
and you would be like yay,flowers.
So this poem is called I talkto my flowers better than I talk
to my body.
Hello, beautiful, well, aren'tyou blossoming today?
Look at your radiant colors andyou smell luscious.
(44:18):
Every time I walk by my flowers,I smile, appreciating their
beauty, the uniqueness of everybud, the sensuality of the
velveteen petals on that violetrose, the pop of power from that
Gerbera daisy, the lushness ofthe lavender hydrangea and, oh
my pink peony.
(44:38):
Each one exquisite, each onedifferent, each one worthy of
attention.
I admire them with such ease.
I notice their body as much.
I notice their beauty as muchas I ignore my own, as much as I
ignore my own.
Look at those unique folds abelly lined with the patterns of
(45:00):
history, a bumpy swirlluxuriating from waist to hip to
leg.
How sensuous, how juicy.
And the wave of arms blowing inthe wind.
They keep waving.
Part of nature I am.
I walk by the mirror and thereat last, hello beautiful.
(45:21):
Well, aren't you blossomingtoday?
Speaker 1 (45:27):
I love that
NinaMennolsoncom Find body peace
and the toxic relationship withfood.
Nina, it was such an honor tohave you here and I just pray.
God's blessing over your heart,your home, your clients.
It was an honor.
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (45:46):
What a delight to be
with you.