Research shows that the majority of women will experience pain during sex at some point in their lives. But just because painful sex is common, it doesn’t mean you have to accept it as normal! To talk about this, we’re joined by Nora Langknecht, a sexuality educator, reproductive health counselor, and Brand and Digital Marketing Manager for the sex toy brand FUN FACTORY.
In this episode, Nora tells us about her career journey and role at FUN FACTORY, which she describes as the perfect mix of spreadsheets and dildos! Then, we delve into what could be causing pain during sex, the importance of arousal and lubrication, and tips to help you rethink sensuality, communicate better with your sexual partner, and much more. Whether you're flying solo or coupled up, this episode will help you to unlock pain-free pleasure in the bedroom. So, grab your headphones and get ready to revolutionize your sex life!
Key Points From This Episode:
- What led Nora to become a sex educator and counselor.
- Common causes of pain during penetrative vaginal sex and their solutions.
- Reasons that lube is for everyone!
- When Nora recommends speaking to your doctor about painful sex.
- Why anal sex can be painful and ways to make it more pleasurable.
- How to prepare for anal sex; hygiene, communication tips, and more.
- A warning against numbing cream and why orgasm isn’t always the “goal.”
- Tips to help you rethink sensuality and experience pleasure without sex.
- Advice for supporting your libido, whether you’re partnered or single.
- The role of pornography in a partnership (and when it can be a problem).
- Insight into how COVID-19 affected couples’ sex lives.
- Suggestions for self-discovery using sex toys.
- A comprehensive guide to consent and how to practice it intentionally.
- Spontaneous versus responsive desire and why mindfulness is key.
Quotes:
“Slowing down, focusing on arousal, and including more lube are the main solutions for vaginal pain during sex.” — Nora Langknecht [0:04:15]
“Thinking of sex as something more intricate, cyclical, and playful also helps if you're not moving unidirectionally – from [external play] to penetration to orgasm.” — Nora Langknecht [0:12:58]
“There are all these different ways to be sensual together that can involve any of our five senses that aren't necessarily focused on what we would consider a sex act.” — Nora Langknecht [0:19:14]
“Sometimes in partnerships, we focus on partnered pleasure more than solo play, but solo play is a fantastic way to support your own libido – It's an important part of your own sexual life, whether you're married, dating, or single.” — Nora Langknecht [0:23:37]
“For some reason, we started telling this story that [asking for consent] was going to be scary or unsexy, but asking someone if you can kiss them is the sexiest, un-scariest thing you can do.” — Nora Langknecht [0:32:39]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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