The Real Cure For Approach Anxiety - SFTS72

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT === Almost every one of us as men gets sweaty palms when we see an attractive woman and want to go talk to her. No matter how much courage we may have in other areas of our life, the fear really tends to grip us in that situation, doesn't it? Well, what do all of us have in common that drives that fear? And what's more, what does EVERY man who has ever OVERCOME that fear have in common? The answer is disarmingly simple, and its revealed in this brief episode. Could it be the answer that cures your case of approach anxiety forever? Check out the brand new Substack at https://mountaintoppodcast.com/substack

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
You're listening to Snippets from the Summit with your host Scott McKay.
How's it going gentlemen, this is your main man Scott McKay coming at you again withanother snippet from the summit as part of the mountaintop podcast from X and Y
Communications, know, you guys have heard me say time and again that whenever a man asksme what he can do Because he isn't getting any women to go out with them.

(00:28):
I usually counter with a question of my own, which is this Well, how many women have youactually asked out?
Almost every time the guy will come back with the answer.
Well none
And see, that's the thing.
If you show me a guy who has a reasonably extreme fear of asking women out, usually I'llshow you a guy who does not have a whole lot of experience with actually approaching women

(00:51):
and talking to them.
He's had a mental block his entire life driven either by fear or by a desire.
Well, not to bother women, which he perceives he would be doing if he, you know, stops awoman and talks to her.
Well, here's the thing, gentlemen.
It takes about two or three positive experiences going up to a woman and talking to herand having her actually be friendly and sweet back to you before you realize, what have I

(01:20):
been doing my whole life?
I should have been talking to women.
I should have been approaching them.
I should have been making their days better, brightening them up somehow with a kind word,a smile, a joke, or something that's respectful to them and actually works as opposed to
doing something, well, not as respectful, you know, either
either by leading the conversation with something sexual like nice shoes, let's screw, orgetting too close to her and invading her space, getting all up in her chili, trying to

(01:45):
get close, or listening to the POAs who would tell you you have to escalate Keno bypulling her up so she's comfortable with your touch.
Yeah, well, those things might get you sent to the proverbial timeout box by women, butthey go against the grain of common sense, human to human interaction and socialization.
If you do what I call establishing normalcy, you know, going up to a woman and saying, forexample, hi, I'm, you know, insert whatever your name is here.

(02:11):
In my case would be hi, I'm Scott.
No woman will respond to you in some mean, nasty way unless she's some sort of maniac.
And guess what guys, even though some of us would like to create that proactivelydefensive posture against mean women by pronouncing them all maniacs or crazy or mean or
solipsistic or whatever you're going to call them.

(02:32):
The truth is they're just humans and when you give a human a reason to be friendly andresponsive to you, in a good way, that's typically what will happen.
Only people who are not right in the head socially are going to respond to a friendlyapproach with something mean.
Now if a woman's had a lot of nasty experiences with men or she's having a particularlyterrible day, you know, maybe she might snap at you.

(02:55):
But if you hold your frame and go, wow, you're kind of mean, she'll usually snap out of itand go, you know, you didn't deserve that.
I'm sorry.
But it's that step of holding your frame, as a matter of fact, which leads to the ultimatecure for approaching women.
Now, I kind of alluded to it before.
I said, if you approach two or three women and get a good response from them, well, youknow, you'll be pretty much thinking to yourself, this wasn't as hard or as dangerous as I

(03:23):
used to think it was.
And you'll be off to the races.
And as a matter of fact, if you go through six or eight or 10 or 20 or 50 positiveapproaches,
meeting women and talking to them, then if that 51st one is mean and nasty to you, well,you'll have a greater likelihood of being able to laugh it off than if, for example, it
was the first or second time it ever happened.

(03:45):
And I can all but promise you, gentlemen, that, like I said, if you approach women leadingwith friendliness and goodwill,
That's almost always what you're going to get in return.
It would be extraordinarily bad luck to have that happen on the first or second try ifyou're doing everything I'm talking about in this particular podcast.

(04:05):
Now here's the thing.
Once you've approached that many women, you reach that point that Malcolm Gladwellfamously talked about called unconscious competence.
You know what you're doing, you know how to do it, and you don't have to think about itanymore.
There's no longer any pressure to perform when you get to that place either.

(04:25):
It's simply part of your lifestyle.
And gentlemen, once it is your lifestyle to actively talk to women, to approach them, tomake their day better, to interact with them, and you see those positive results over and
over again, you'll want that to be a part of your life.
You'll never let it go.
Now, yeah, you need to stay in practice.

(04:46):
You don't want to get into this sort of weird slump where if you have a couple of
days where you don't feel so social or a couple women in a row aren't so nice to you oraren't amenable to having a conversation with you, yeah, then you might revert to being
kind of hard on yourself.
But indeed, once you make it your lifestyle and you practice that lifestyle, guess what,guys?

(05:06):
It's no longer that, I have to go and approach women and talk to them and possibly getrejected.
All of a sudden it becomes, hey, I get to wake up every morning and I get to do this.
Gentlemen, you have reached a point where relatively few men ascend to.
You'll have this facility that I'm talking about with approaching women, talking to them,and even attracting them that most men can't ever even fathom attaining.

(05:33):
You'll be the envy of other men, and you know what, guys?
It'll all be because you went for it, and most men never do.
That's it.
Want to talk about this or anything else?
Scott?
at mountaintoppodcast.com.
Be good out there.
As always, visit mountaintoppodcast.com for more.