January 3, 2024 • 25 mins
My family moved to Bowling Green in 1989. My brother was turning six, and I was turning three. We rented a house in the country for a few months, then bought the red-brick home on Garrett Drive where we lived for 16 years. We joined the local Presbyterian Church, but didn’t quite fit in. It was too conservative, or maybe we were too liberal. My parents struggled to make friends, and my brother and I hated Sunday School. All of which fueled an identity crisis, and another poignant question posed by my brother from the back seat of the family Oldsmobile.
So my mother started exploring. She connected with the local community, searching for a Jewish home that fit her interfaith family. We tried the existing Reform congregation in Nashville, but had a bad experience. For a while we drove to Owensboro, KY on Friday nights—two hours on toll roads through rural western Kentucky coal country. Finally, my mother got wind of a new Reform congregation forming in Nashville—Congregation Micah. After an open house where she felt welcome and wanted, and with encouragement she made the commitment. For all of us, without really asking. But we’ll get there.
72 Miles features the stories of three separate interfaith Jewish families–two real, one not, and one mine. Together, they trace 150 years of Kentucky history, with experiences that resonate today—about being Jewish in America, about being Jewish and southern at the same time. About being Jewish, being interfaith, and the blending of the two.
So strap in, and take a ride with me, up and down I65, or back and forth on the L&N Railroad. In the end the when and the who don’t make as much difference and you might think. But the where sure does. My name is Nathan Jordan Vaughan. It’s 72 Miles til Kentucky. Let’s get moving.
72 Miles Til Kentucky was written and produced by Nathan J. Vaughan. Music by Blue Dot Sessions and Lofi Girl. Curricular components for each episodes are available on the show's website.
You can learn more about me and any of my work on my website, www.nathanjvaughan.com.
Subscribe to my regular Torah podcast, Modern Torah anywhere you get your podcasts. Thanks for listening.
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(00:00):
You.
We moved to Bowling Green,and Bowling Green was just.
It was like moving back into the 1950s.
We were always outsiders in Bowling Green.
We never found a way in.
We were always outsidersbecause we didn't go to western.
We didn't grow up there.
(00:22):
We didn't have family from there.
And we tried the presbyterianchurch there, and it just.
It didn't gel.
There were all these little thingsthat just built up until your mother and I
basically said, this isnot the place for us.
We do not belong here.
Do y'all remember on Sunday mornings whenthey started the preaching,
(00:44):
I would take the bulletin and Istart drawing pictures on it.
I draw a house.
I draw a little line.
And you guys were just like, okay.
Kept you quiet, kept you focused.
Life was good.
I must have checked out on a lot of this.
Yeah, you're sitting rightthere on his other side.
Yeah, you're kind of like,is that the best you can come up with?
I can go home and watch rugrats.
I can go home and watch Ninja Turtles.
(01:05):
I can go home and do all kinds of stuff.
Anyway, was one Sunday morning.
I forgot what actually was going on.
But halfway through the sermon,instinctively, your mother and I looked
at each other and we both mouthed to eachother at the same time,
what the hell are we doing here?
Well, one other thing happened,I think the week you were talking about
(01:25):
that Sunday, we drove home from churchand stopped at Southlight, and Benjamin
said, so are we Jewish or are we.
I said, well, you know,I said, you're both.
Because I'm Jewish and your dad'sChristian, so that kind of makes you both.
(01:45):
And you said, well, I'm Jewish,and I am not going to church anymore.
And Nathan piped up and said, me too.
And I said, okay, well, we'll talkabout this some more when we get home.
My name is Nathan Jordan Vaughan.
It's 72 miles till Kentucky.
Let's get moving.
(02:12):
Dad was an extremely generous man,and I think he got it from his father.
Now, Fred senior, from what I understand,had something to do with the beginning
of the Bowling Green boys and girls club,setting up an establishing of that.
Yes, Bowling Green had a largecontingent of Jewish population.
(02:33):
Whether they practiced the faith or not.
The more I know about them, the.
More I hear about them.
And they have a plotthere in the cemetery.
That's John Nam again,Samuel Nam's great grandson.
John grew up in Bolingrain in a methodisthome, and with no real sense of his own
(02:53):
Jewish identity,he knew that his father was Jewish
and that some members of their family wereJewish and that somehow his
family was different from others.
In Bowling Green.
John shared memories with me of drivingto Shul in Nashville for a bas
mitzvah and later for a wedding.
(03:14):
And he told me two ways that he knewfrom a young age that his immediate family
was different from the rest of the family.
First because they ate ham,but also because every year
at Thanksgiving, when his father put outthe turkey, John's cousins would rush
to pick out the smokedoysters and eat them first.
(03:37):
It's played on my mind a lotover the years in my exploration.
I see a lot of jew in me.
The life of kindness and loveand accepting of other human beings,
no matter who they are.
But when I ever asked dad tell.
(03:57):
Me about my Jewish heritage,he always diverted because
the southern attitude and the southernvalues made it difficult to just
announce that you were know.
And dad, he was a memberof the Bowling Green Country Club.
And my grandmother, my father's mother,we called her Dee because she
(04:21):
would sit us on her knee and go.
So that was her name.
And Dee was organist at thebaptist church in Bollingray.
So you assimilated into the surroundings.
But they weren't know.
(04:43):
They weren't going to dressor actually behave as acidic.
They may not eat ham.
And we did.
That was mother's contribution to know.
My brother Cliff, who still livesin Bowling Green, by the way.
Cliff would say, shouldI eat this ham or not?
Am I Jewish or not?
(05:03):
But I think he just was being funny.
But the house that I grewup in was not a Jewish home.
We did not perform any of the holidays.
And I will share this with youthat it's kind of even today, I think.
I wonder all that wentinto the interaction.
(05:25):
But my father's second cousin would callthem Uncle Jack, and he
was out of Louisville.
It was the nams that livedin Louisville, Kentucky.
Jack and Aunt Louise were at my father'sfuneral, and we were placed
to the know where the family sits.
They had to open up the funeral homebecause it couldn't hold all
(05:46):
the people that came to see dad.
But I remember Aunt Louise and Uncle Jacksitting in the pews behind us.
And the preacher was talkingabout dad converting.
I'm sure mother had something to dowith it, but also I think
it was from the heart.
(06:10):
So I remember them saying,when the preacher announced that my dad
had become a Christian, I looked at them,uncle Jack and Aunt Louise,
and Aunt Louise.
Said, I figured that.
And uncle Jack nodded his head.
He said, yep.
And that was know.
(06:32):
Now even to this day,I'm not exactly sure exactly what they
meant, but I think it sure had to dowith dad taking a different path.
By the time my family made it to BowlingGreen, the noms were mostly long gone.
Emani Emmanuel's granddaughterand namesake died in New York in the early
1980s, well before my familyfound their way to Bowling Green.
(06:56):
A few of Sam's descendants livedin the surrounding area,
but none of them practiced Judaism orwere active in the local Jewish community.
And I didn't even know the name Nam untilI started researching for this podcast.
There is no foundation,no history for future Bowling Green Jews
to lean on when my familymoved there in the late 1980s.
(07:16):
But because Bowling Green was a collegetown with two hospitals,
there was a Jewish community of sorts.
So we were at the downtown library,up in the children's library,
and we were picking out books,and this woman was there with her
children, and she heard me calling yournames, and they were very Jewish names.
(07:39):
So she approached me and asked me if wehad to be Jewish,
and I said, yes, we were.
And she said, oh, that's great.
And I asked her how she knew,and she said, well, we had very Jewish
names, so she thought maybe we were.
She said, I haven't seen you before,and we're having Rosh Hashanah dinner.
(08:00):
The community is, and I thought youmight be interested in joining us.
And so she gave me all the information.
And that was when you met her daughterRachel, who became a very
good friend of yours.
So that was our introductionto the Jewish community.
We went to the Rosh Hashanah dinner,and it was very nice.
We met a lot of people,and I was surprised that there were
that many, you know, in the area.
(08:25):
And so we had dinner, and then after know,I asked somebody, I said, well,
where do we go for services?
And they said, oh, we don't doservices, we just do dinner.
And they told me that there were somepeople who were members of congregations
in Nashville, and they would probablygo to services tomorrow in Nashville.
So that was our introductionto Jewish Bowling Green.
(08:47):
And that's also where we learned aboutthe congregation Owensboro that had
the student rabbi from HUC in Cincinnati.
At first we tried out the existing Reformsynagogue in Nashville,
which had been around since the daysof the nams, but we had a bad experience.
(09:08):
I went with a friend one Sunday justto check it out, but my friend's mother
was quickly told that guests weren'tallowed, and so we never went back.
My mother, after all, had a thingabout feeling welcome in Jewish spaces.
(09:36):
That there was a Reformcongregation in Nashville.
We had visited it, and it just didnot feel like the right place for us.
So I was trying know find out whatthe differences were between
Reform and conservative congregationsbecause I had no experience
(09:56):
with Reform congregations.
I had some experience with conservativecongregations, and I knew that the non
Jewish spouse was just never acceptedin conservative congregations unless
that person converted to Judaism.
(10:17):
So I went overto Western Connecticut University's
library, and I met up with Michael Binder,who at that time was the.
I don't know what you call the headof the library, but he was
the head of the library.
And he helped me get set up with someresearch materials so I could get a sense
of what the Union of American Hebrewcongregations was all about and where they
(10:42):
differed from the unitedconservative congregations.
And it became really clear to me that ifwe were going to look for congregations as
a family, that had to bea reformed congregation.
And it also occurred to me that ifBowlingham was ever going to do anything
about having a congregation,it would have to be a reformed
(11:04):
congregation, because that would bethe thing that would be the most
open to most people in the area.
So that must have been around 1990.
At what point in this journeydid we start going to Owensboro?
I'm trying to think.
1990 building is on the National Registryof Historic Places.
(11:27):
Now.
It turned into a library.
Yes, because I think itbecame a church temporarily.
It was being taken care of by the church,by a church that was a friend
of the synagogue, but itwas still technically owned.
Well, the congregation folded.
It shuttered its doors.
Yeah.
(11:48):
It sunset, I think is the word.
They use for it.
What happened is in the south there werea lot of Jewish, small Jewish
groups all over the place.
Right?
They raised their children to be educated,intelligent, articulate.
They sent them off to collegeand they didn't come back.
And they refused to come back.
(12:09):
Owensboro was one of them, all right.
And so all of a sudden we showed upwith two little boys and they thought,
just like central Prez,life is starting all over again.
So here we go.
And it was like, not necessarily becausewe drove all the way there,
we drove all the way back.
There was a student rabbi from HUCand all this sort of stuff.
(12:31):
The problem was we would show up on Fridaynights, they would have
hebrew school on Saturday.
But we weren't about to drivehome and then drive back.
Yeah, no, we only went.
We went from Purim one time, too.
Remember that?
But then Micah became the focalpoint because there were mean.
It's just like, look,if we're going to drive that far,
if we're going to drive an hour,we're going to go someplace
(12:53):
where there are other children.
Where there's a community.
Community, right.
I remember Nathan running up to meand saying, mommy, look at all the kids,
and they're all Jewish.
(13:19):
You had never seen that manyJewish kids at one time.
Congregation Micah was a brand newsynagogue that was just
being formed in Nashville.
Some of the wealthier membersof the existing Reform synagogue had
decided to split away for whateverreason and form their own community.
They hired a rabbi, rented a space,and set out recruiting Jewish families
(13:41):
from just about anywhere and everywhere.
So it was a building that had formerlybeen a disco, and the disco ball was still
hanging in the main areathat was going to be a sanctuary.
As soon as I parked my car and walked in,three people immediately greeted me
(14:02):
and welcomed me and asked me for my nameand what was my interest in being there.
And so I told him that I had two youngchildren and we lived in Bowlington,
Kentucky, and we were looking fora congregation in which to raise our
children and that my husband was notJewish, and we were looking
(14:24):
for someplace that might fit our family.
And they immediately, well, have theyhad any religious education up to now?
And said, well, because my husband isChristian, we've been going
to a presbyterian church,and then we do our stuff at home.
But we're at that point where we'reat a crossroads, and we either need to
raise them Jewish or raise them christian.
(14:47):
And raising them christian is just nota comfortable option for me
in Bowling Green, because everything wehave discovered is just
far too conservative.
Both educators were there that day.
All the teachers weregoing to be volunteers.
There was going to be no paid faculty.
(15:07):
The only expense of the religious schoolwas going to be the cost
of books and materials.
So it was very minimal.
We were not the onlypeople coming an hour away.
They had a lot of people coming from asfar as Crossville, Tennessee,
and Lewisburg, Tennessee,and Austin P University area.
(15:27):
So we were not the only onesthat were driving quite a distance.
So I thought, okay, well,we won't be the only Odball out.
So I spent an hour talking to the people.
Mostly, a lot of time was talkingto the educators about what the curriculum
was going to be like and lookingat the materials they had,
(15:48):
looking at the prayer book they were goingto be using, knowing that a lot more of it
was going to be in English than Hebrewand feeling like it would be more
accessible to me and to your dad,and feeling like it would be comfortable
for us and someplace wemight actually want to be.
And so I left with all the papers,the membership papers and stuff.
(16:13):
And so I went home and I thought, well,okay, we'll think about it,
and when they open, we'll goand we'll see what it's like.
And then the next day,I got a call from Jerry Duchin,
who was one of the foundingmembers of the congregation.
And Jerry called and askedme what I thought.
You know, I thought you guys had a reallynice setup and you were very
(16:34):
welcoming and very kind.
And we thought we'd wait until thingsactually got started and then come visit
and come to a service and maybe be ableto come to high holy day services and if
possible,try it out for a couple of months and try
Sunday school and see how that works.
(16:55):
He said, well, we have a different idea.
I thought, oh, God, I'm in trouble.
And I said, oh, what's that?
He said, well, we would like for youto go ahead and join the congregation.
And I said, well,that's a lot of money for us to put out on
something that we're not sure will work.
And he said, well, I'll tell you what.
(17:16):
I'm going to make a deal with you.
You go ahead and join and comefor four weeks and try it out.
And if after four weeks,it's just not working for your family,
for whatever reason,the distance or whatever, we will refund
anything that you've already paid.
And I thought, okay,well, that's reasonable.
(17:37):
It gives us a chance to go to services.
It gives us a chance to go to Sundayschool for several weeks and check and see
how you guys feel about it,and if you're still excited after four
weeks and willing to get off and come.
So I told your dad what we're going to do.
He's like, okay, if you can makeit work, let's give it a try.
(18:00):
So I have this thing that I do, and whenI tell you, you'll either laugh or not.
You see, every year on Yom Kippur,I have a weird tradition.
I go to McDonald's sometimes in the middleof the day, and more often
than not, I get a happy meal.
I've been doing this for years,and I knew it was a habit
(18:20):
that I developed early in life.
I remember being about ten or eleven yearsold and skipping out of shul during
afternoon services with my father.
We'd head to McDonald's for a snack and beback in time to hear the story of Jonah
my dad loves the story of Jonah.
Read on the holiest day of the year.
Jonah was a part of Jewish lifethat my father could understand.
(18:44):
And so even though he took me outof services for a midday snack,
he always made sure that wemade it back in time for Jonah.
But what I didn't know was just how earlythis tradition got started and why
and how resistant my mother was to pairingMcDonald's with service attendants.
From the very beginning.
(19:12):
My first impression,or my first major interaction,
other than having to write a check or thisor the other,
is that we went to Rosh Hashanah services,and we get down there, we do the service,
and everything's cool, and we're leaving.
And you two would get really,really grumpy if you fell asleep.
(19:32):
We got home, and you hadto get back up and go to bed.
So we would always stop at McDonald'sand get you a milkshake.
And y'all were just the happiest littlethings back there, eating your
milkshake for the 72 miles.
Well, come a week later,we went to Yon Kapoor services,
and as we're leaving, I think it was you,Nathan, basically said,
let's go get our milkshakes to go home.
(19:56):
That was kind of that inducement that youguys really, really liked
about going to services.
You mean bribery?
Yeah, pretty much.
And then I had to explain that we don'tget milkshakes after Yom Kufur because we
are fasting, at least for you guys,until breakfast.
You could go that long.
So anyway, what happened was you werefrustrated, and you're not stopping
(20:17):
your foot, but you're really confused.
So I said, come on, Nathan.
And so you and I walked up to the rabbi,and I looked at the rabbi and says,
nathan's just found out wecan't stop and get a milkshake.
On the way home, I said, rabbi, would youlike to explain to Nathan why he can't?
Why we could for Rosh Hashanah,not Yom Kippur.
That was the rabbi who helped us startthe congregation in Bowling Green.
(20:42):
Anyway, so the rabbi sit there,and he gets in this.
Let's see how you were, like,what, five, six years old?
Five years old.
And so he goes in this elaborate Jewishdialog, and you're like,
all I want is a milkshake.
And there was this disconnect,and I saw it real quickly.
It's like, okay.
So I kind of ended that story real fastand dragged you out in the car and says,
(21:02):
don't worry about it, Nathan.
When mama's not looking.
We'll get a milkshake.
So what was reallyhappening is on Yom Kippur.
We fast for 25 hours,and as far as I was concerned,
a five year old could gowithout eating until breakfast.
(21:23):
It was my error in not explainingthat to them before we left and not
explaining that we would notbe stopping for milkshakes.
But I honestly didn't think that we hadstarted a culture where it would be
expected to stop for amilkshake on the way home.
(21:44):
I also was not prepared for my husband,who was not Jewish,
to immediately take the side of the kidsto go ahead and stop for a milkshake.
We also had a friend of ours in the carwho was an adult who worked for our local
(22:05):
NPR radio station, and she was totallyfine with stopping at McDonald's.
Milkshake didn't bother her a bit if shebroke her fast 2 hours after it began.
So I was kind of outnumbered,and I just really felt like we were
starting new traditions,and we were making the effort to drive
(22:25):
72 miles every time we went to temple.
And if we were going to do this and makeit a serious effort,
and if we were going to not only spendthe money to be part of the synagogue,
but make the commitment to be partof the synagogue, I thought this
(22:45):
was a small effort that we could do.
Your mother and I set up some guidelines.
One guideline was, I attendedfive services a year as a family.
I said, you pick them,and then you point to the pew where I'm to
sit, but I'm not going down every Friday.
And we agreed on that.
(23:07):
And therefore, when you all took offfor Sunday school, I didn't have to go.
I didn't have to teach.
As if they would letme teach Sunday school.
And that was pretty much it.
I was the mystery man.
Several people, when they met me or yourmother pointed me out or something like
that, they're like, oh,she really does have a husband.
It's like, yeah.
So there was a lot of that.
(23:29):
Also, your mother and I did not discusswhether or not y'all
would be raised Jewish.
We all went to Michael and started goingthere, and they had Sunday school,
and it was like your mother just enrolledy'all and started taking you down there.
And I was like, okay, fine.
And one time your mother made a commentabout, well, you know,
I never really asked you about this.
(23:51):
And I just kind of thought aboutfor a second, I said, well,
a good Jewish education didn't hurt Jesusany, so I guess it won't hurt my boys.
Your mother's face at that point was like.
It was just total shock.
She didn't know what to respondto that I said, okay.
Next time on 72 miles till Kentucky,we make the commitment and give
Judaism a go in Nashville.
(24:14):
Until a few years later,when a sense of urgency and a deepening
desire for community helps Bowling Greenlaunch its first synagogue,
am Shalom, people of peace.
The Jewish community of Bolingrain,72 miles, features the stories of three
separate interfaith Jewish families,two real, one not and one mine.
(24:36):
Together they trace 150 years of Kentuckyhistory with experiences that resonate
today about being Jewish in America,about being Jewish and being southern at
the same time and the blending of the two.
So strap in and take a ride with me upand down I 65 or back and forth
on the Ellen Railroad.
(24:56):
In the end, the win and the who don't makeas much difference as you might think.
But the wear?
Sure.
Us.
My name is Nathan Jordan Vaughan.
It's 72 miles till Kentucky.
Let's get moving.
You.
We moved to Bowling Green,and Bowling Green was just.
It was like moving back into the 1950s.
We were always outsiders in Bowling Green.
We never found a way in.
We were always outsidersbecause we didn't go to western.
We didn't grow up there.
(00:22):
We didn't have family from there.
And we tried the presbyterianchurch there, and it just.
It didn't gel.
There were all these little thingsthat just built up until your mother and I
basically said, this isnot the place for us.
We do not belong here.
Do y'all remember on Sunday mornings whenthey started the preaching,
(00:44):
I would take the bulletin and Istart drawing pictures on it.
I draw a house.
I draw a little line.
And you guys were just like, okay.
Kept you quiet, kept you focused.
Life was good.
I must have checked out on a lot of this.
Yeah, you're sitting rightthere on his other side.
Yeah, you're kind of like,is that the best you can come up with?
I can go home and watch rugrats.
I can go home and watch Ninja Turtles.
(01:05):
I can go home and do all kinds of stuff.
Anyway, was one Sunday morning.
I forgot what actually was going on.
But halfway through the sermon,instinctively, your mother and I looked
at each other and we both mouthed to eachother at the same time,
what the hell are we doing here?
Well, one other thing happened,I think the week you were talking about
(01:25):
that Sunday, we drove home from churchand stopped at Southlight, and Benjamin
said, so are we Jewish or are we.
I said, well, you know,I said, you're both.
Because I'm Jewish and your dad'sChristian, so that kind of makes you both.
(01:45):
And you said, well, I'm Jewish,and I am not going to church anymore.
And Nathan piped up and said, me too.
And I said, okay, well, we'll talkabout this some more when we get home.
My name is Nathan Jordan Vaughan.
It's 72 miles till Kentucky.
Let's get moving.
(02:12):
Dad was an extremely generous man,and I think he got it from his father.
Now, Fred senior, from what I understand,had something to do with the beginning
of the Bowling Green boys and girls club,setting up an establishing of that.
Yes, Bowling Green had a largecontingent of Jewish population.
(02:33):
Whether they practiced the faith or not.
The more I know about them, the.
More I hear about them.
And they have a plotthere in the cemetery.
That's John Nam again,Samuel Nam's great grandson.
John grew up in Bolingrain in a methodisthome, and with no real sense of his own
(02:53):
Jewish identity,he knew that his father was Jewish
and that some members of their family wereJewish and that somehow his
family was different from others.
In Bowling Green.
John shared memories with me of drivingto Shul in Nashville for a bas
mitzvah and later for a wedding.
(03:14):
And he told me two ways that he knewfrom a young age that his immediate family
was different from the rest of the family.
First because they ate ham,but also because every year
at Thanksgiving, when his father put outthe turkey, John's cousins would rush
to pick out the smokedoysters and eat them first.
(03:37):
It's played on my mind a lotover the years in my exploration.
I see a lot of jew in me.
The life of kindness and loveand accepting of other human beings,
no matter who they are.
But when I ever asked dad tell.
(03:57):
Me about my Jewish heritage,he always diverted because
the southern attitude and the southernvalues made it difficult to just
announce that you were know.
And dad, he was a memberof the Bowling Green Country Club.
And my grandmother, my father's mother,we called her Dee because she
(04:21):
would sit us on her knee and go.
So that was her name.
And Dee was organist at thebaptist church in Bollingray.
So you assimilated into the surroundings.
But they weren't know.
(04:43):
They weren't going to dressor actually behave as acidic.
They may not eat ham.
And we did.
That was mother's contribution to know.
My brother Cliff, who still livesin Bowling Green, by the way.
Cliff would say, shouldI eat this ham or not?
Am I Jewish or not?
(05:03):
But I think he just was being funny.
But the house that I grewup in was not a Jewish home.
We did not perform any of the holidays.
And I will share this with youthat it's kind of even today, I think.
I wonder all that wentinto the interaction.
(05:25):
But my father's second cousin would callthem Uncle Jack, and he
was out of Louisville.
It was the nams that livedin Louisville, Kentucky.
Jack and Aunt Louise were at my father'sfuneral, and we were placed
to the know where the family sits.
They had to open up the funeral homebecause it couldn't hold all
(05:46):
the people that came to see dad.
But I remember Aunt Louise and Uncle Jacksitting in the pews behind us.
And the preacher was talkingabout dad converting.
I'm sure mother had something to dowith it, but also I think
it was from the heart.
(06:10):
So I remember them saying,when the preacher announced that my dad
had become a Christian, I looked at them,uncle Jack and Aunt Louise,
and Aunt Louise.
Said, I figured that.
And uncle Jack nodded his head.
He said, yep.
And that was know.
(06:32):
Now even to this day,I'm not exactly sure exactly what they
meant, but I think it sure had to dowith dad taking a different path.
By the time my family made it to BowlingGreen, the noms were mostly long gone.
Emani Emmanuel's granddaughterand namesake died in New York in the early
1980s, well before my familyfound their way to Bowling Green.
(06:56):
A few of Sam's descendants livedin the surrounding area,
but none of them practiced Judaism orwere active in the local Jewish community.
And I didn't even know the name Nam untilI started researching for this podcast.
There is no foundation,no history for future Bowling Green Jews
to lean on when my familymoved there in the late 1980s.
(07:16):
But because Bowling Green was a collegetown with two hospitals,
there was a Jewish community of sorts.
So we were at the downtown library,up in the children's library,
and we were picking out books,and this woman was there with her
children, and she heard me calling yournames, and they were very Jewish names.
(07:39):
So she approached me and asked me if wehad to be Jewish,
and I said, yes, we were.
And she said, oh, that's great.
And I asked her how she knew,and she said, well, we had very Jewish
names, so she thought maybe we were.
She said, I haven't seen you before,and we're having Rosh Hashanah dinner.
(08:00):
The community is, and I thought youmight be interested in joining us.
And so she gave me all the information.
And that was when you met her daughterRachel, who became a very
good friend of yours.
So that was our introductionto the Jewish community.
We went to the Rosh Hashanah dinner,and it was very nice.
We met a lot of people,and I was surprised that there were
that many, you know, in the area.
(08:25):
And so we had dinner, and then after know,I asked somebody, I said, well,
where do we go for services?
And they said, oh, we don't doservices, we just do dinner.
And they told me that there were somepeople who were members of congregations
in Nashville, and they would probablygo to services tomorrow in Nashville.
So that was our introductionto Jewish Bowling Green.
(08:47):
And that's also where we learned aboutthe congregation Owensboro that had
the student rabbi from HUC in Cincinnati.
At first we tried out the existing Reformsynagogue in Nashville,
which had been around since the daysof the nams, but we had a bad experience.
(09:08):
I went with a friend one Sunday justto check it out, but my friend's mother
was quickly told that guests weren'tallowed, and so we never went back.
My mother, after all, had a thingabout feeling welcome in Jewish spaces.
(09:36):
That there was a Reformcongregation in Nashville.
We had visited it, and it just didnot feel like the right place for us.
So I was trying know find out whatthe differences were between
Reform and conservative congregationsbecause I had no experience
(09:56):
with Reform congregations.
I had some experience with conservativecongregations, and I knew that the non
Jewish spouse was just never acceptedin conservative congregations unless
that person converted to Judaism.
(10:17):
So I went overto Western Connecticut University's
library, and I met up with Michael Binder,who at that time was the.
I don't know what you call the headof the library, but he was
the head of the library.
And he helped me get set up with someresearch materials so I could get a sense
of what the Union of American Hebrewcongregations was all about and where they
(10:42):
differed from the unitedconservative congregations.
And it became really clear to me that ifwe were going to look for congregations as
a family, that had to bea reformed congregation.
And it also occurred to me that ifBowlingham was ever going to do anything
about having a congregation,it would have to be a reformed
(11:04):
congregation, because that would bethe thing that would be the most
open to most people in the area.
So that must have been around 1990.
At what point in this journeydid we start going to Owensboro?
I'm trying to think.
1990 building is on the National Registryof Historic Places.
(11:27):
Now.
It turned into a library.
Yes, because I think itbecame a church temporarily.
It was being taken care of by the church,by a church that was a friend
of the synagogue, but itwas still technically owned.
Well, the congregation folded.
It shuttered its doors.
Yeah.
(11:48):
It sunset, I think is the word.
They use for it.
What happened is in the south there werea lot of Jewish, small Jewish
groups all over the place.
Right?
They raised their children to be educated,intelligent, articulate.
They sent them off to collegeand they didn't come back.
And they refused to come back.
(12:09):
Owensboro was one of them, all right.
And so all of a sudden we showed upwith two little boys and they thought,
just like central Prez,life is starting all over again.
So here we go.
And it was like, not necessarily becausewe drove all the way there,
we drove all the way back.
There was a student rabbi from HUCand all this sort of stuff.
(12:31):
The problem was we would show up on Fridaynights, they would have
hebrew school on Saturday.
But we weren't about to drivehome and then drive back.
Yeah, no, we only went.
We went from Purim one time, too.
Remember that?
But then Micah became the focalpoint because there were mean.
It's just like, look,if we're going to drive that far,
if we're going to drive an hour,we're going to go someplace
(12:53):
where there are other children.
Where there's a community.
Community, right.
I remember Nathan running up to meand saying, mommy, look at all the kids,
and they're all Jewish.
(13:19):
You had never seen that manyJewish kids at one time.
Congregation Micah was a brand newsynagogue that was just
being formed in Nashville.
Some of the wealthier membersof the existing Reform synagogue had
decided to split away for whateverreason and form their own community.
They hired a rabbi, rented a space,and set out recruiting Jewish families
(13:41):
from just about anywhere and everywhere.
So it was a building that had formerlybeen a disco, and the disco ball was still
hanging in the main areathat was going to be a sanctuary.
As soon as I parked my car and walked in,three people immediately greeted me
(14:02):
and welcomed me and asked me for my nameand what was my interest in being there.
And so I told him that I had two youngchildren and we lived in Bowlington,
Kentucky, and we were looking fora congregation in which to raise our
children and that my husband was notJewish, and we were looking
(14:24):
for someplace that might fit our family.
And they immediately, well, have theyhad any religious education up to now?
And said, well, because my husband isChristian, we've been going
to a presbyterian church,and then we do our stuff at home.
But we're at that point where we'reat a crossroads, and we either need to
raise them Jewish or raise them christian.
(14:47):
And raising them christian is just nota comfortable option for me
in Bowling Green, because everything wehave discovered is just
far too conservative.
Both educators were there that day.
All the teachers weregoing to be volunteers.
There was going to be no paid faculty.
(15:07):
The only expense of the religious schoolwas going to be the cost
of books and materials.
So it was very minimal.
We were not the onlypeople coming an hour away.
They had a lot of people coming from asfar as Crossville, Tennessee,
and Lewisburg, Tennessee,and Austin P University area.
(15:27):
So we were not the only onesthat were driving quite a distance.
So I thought, okay, well,we won't be the only Odball out.
So I spent an hour talking to the people.
Mostly, a lot of time was talkingto the educators about what the curriculum
was going to be like and lookingat the materials they had,
(15:48):
looking at the prayer book they were goingto be using, knowing that a lot more of it
was going to be in English than Hebrewand feeling like it would be more
accessible to me and to your dad,and feeling like it would be comfortable
for us and someplace wemight actually want to be.
And so I left with all the papers,the membership papers and stuff.
(16:13):
And so I went home and I thought, well,okay, we'll think about it,
and when they open, we'll goand we'll see what it's like.
And then the next day,I got a call from Jerry Duchin,
who was one of the foundingmembers of the congregation.
And Jerry called and askedme what I thought.
You know, I thought you guys had a reallynice setup and you were very
(16:34):
welcoming and very kind.
And we thought we'd wait until thingsactually got started and then come visit
and come to a service and maybe be ableto come to high holy day services and if
possible,try it out for a couple of months and try
Sunday school and see how that works.
(16:55):
He said, well, we have a different idea.
I thought, oh, God, I'm in trouble.
And I said, oh, what's that?
He said, well, we would like for youto go ahead and join the congregation.
And I said, well,that's a lot of money for us to put out on
something that we're not sure will work.
And he said, well, I'll tell you what.
(17:16):
I'm going to make a deal with you.
You go ahead and join and comefor four weeks and try it out.
And if after four weeks,it's just not working for your family,
for whatever reason,the distance or whatever, we will refund
anything that you've already paid.
And I thought, okay,well, that's reasonable.
(17:37):
It gives us a chance to go to services.
It gives us a chance to go to Sundayschool for several weeks and check and see
how you guys feel about it,and if you're still excited after four
weeks and willing to get off and come.
So I told your dad what we're going to do.
He's like, okay, if you can makeit work, let's give it a try.
(18:00):
So I have this thing that I do, and whenI tell you, you'll either laugh or not.
You see, every year on Yom Kippur,I have a weird tradition.
I go to McDonald's sometimes in the middleof the day, and more often
than not, I get a happy meal.
I've been doing this for years,and I knew it was a habit
(18:20):
that I developed early in life.
I remember being about ten or eleven yearsold and skipping out of shul during
afternoon services with my father.
We'd head to McDonald's for a snack and beback in time to hear the story of Jonah
my dad loves the story of Jonah.
Read on the holiest day of the year.
Jonah was a part of Jewish lifethat my father could understand.
(18:44):
And so even though he took me outof services for a midday snack,
he always made sure that wemade it back in time for Jonah.
But what I didn't know was just how earlythis tradition got started and why
and how resistant my mother was to pairingMcDonald's with service attendants.
From the very beginning.
(19:12):
My first impression,or my first major interaction,
other than having to write a check or thisor the other,
is that we went to Rosh Hashanah services,and we get down there, we do the service,
and everything's cool, and we're leaving.
And you two would get really,really grumpy if you fell asleep.
(19:32):
We got home, and you hadto get back up and go to bed.
So we would always stop at McDonald'sand get you a milkshake.
And y'all were just the happiest littlethings back there, eating your
milkshake for the 72 miles.
Well, come a week later,we went to Yon Kapoor services,
and as we're leaving, I think it was you,Nathan, basically said,
let's go get our milkshakes to go home.
(19:56):
That was kind of that inducement that youguys really, really liked
about going to services.
You mean bribery?
Yeah, pretty much.
And then I had to explain that we don'tget milkshakes after Yom Kufur because we
are fasting, at least for you guys,until breakfast.
You could go that long.
So anyway, what happened was you werefrustrated, and you're not stopping
(20:17):
your foot, but you're really confused.
So I said, come on, Nathan.
And so you and I walked up to the rabbi,and I looked at the rabbi and says,
nathan's just found out wecan't stop and get a milkshake.
On the way home, I said, rabbi, would youlike to explain to Nathan why he can't?
Why we could for Rosh Hashanah,not Yom Kippur.
That was the rabbi who helped us startthe congregation in Bowling Green.
(20:42):
Anyway, so the rabbi sit there,and he gets in this.
Let's see how you were, like,what, five, six years old?
Five years old.
And so he goes in this elaborate Jewishdialog, and you're like,
all I want is a milkshake.
And there was this disconnect,and I saw it real quickly.
It's like, okay.
So I kind of ended that story real fastand dragged you out in the car and says,
(21:02):
don't worry about it, Nathan.
When mama's not looking.
We'll get a milkshake.
So what was reallyhappening is on Yom Kippur.
We fast for 25 hours,and as far as I was concerned,
a five year old could gowithout eating until breakfast.
(21:23):
It was my error in not explainingthat to them before we left and not
explaining that we would notbe stopping for milkshakes.
But I honestly didn't think that we hadstarted a culture where it would be
expected to stop for amilkshake on the way home.
(21:44):
I also was not prepared for my husband,who was not Jewish,
to immediately take the side of the kidsto go ahead and stop for a milkshake.
We also had a friend of ours in the carwho was an adult who worked for our local
(22:05):
NPR radio station, and she was totallyfine with stopping at McDonald's.
Milkshake didn't bother her a bit if shebroke her fast 2 hours after it began.
So I was kind of outnumbered,and I just really felt like we were
starting new traditions,and we were making the effort to drive
(22:25):
72 miles every time we went to temple.
And if we were going to do this and makeit a serious effort,
and if we were going to not only spendthe money to be part of the synagogue,
but make the commitment to be partof the synagogue, I thought this
(22:45):
was a small effort that we could do.
Your mother and I set up some guidelines.
One guideline was, I attendedfive services a year as a family.
I said, you pick them,and then you point to the pew where I'm to
sit, but I'm not going down every Friday.
And we agreed on that.
(23:07):
And therefore, when you all took offfor Sunday school, I didn't have to go.
I didn't have to teach.
As if they would letme teach Sunday school.
And that was pretty much it.
I was the mystery man.
Several people, when they met me or yourmother pointed me out or something like
that, they're like, oh,she really does have a husband.
It's like, yeah.
So there was a lot of that.
(23:29):
Also, your mother and I did not discusswhether or not y'all
would be raised Jewish.
We all went to Michael and started goingthere, and they had Sunday school,
and it was like your mother just enrolledy'all and started taking you down there.
And I was like, okay, fine.
And one time your mother made a commentabout, well, you know,
I never really asked you about this.
(23:51):
And I just kind of thought aboutfor a second, I said, well,
a good Jewish education didn't hurt Jesusany, so I guess it won't hurt my boys.
Your mother's face at that point was like.
It was just total shock.
She didn't know what to respondto that I said, okay.
Next time on 72 miles till Kentucky,we make the commitment and give
Judaism a go in Nashville.
(24:14):
Until a few years later,when a sense of urgency and a deepening
desire for community helps Bowling Greenlaunch its first synagogue,
am Shalom, people of peace.
The Jewish community of Bolingrain,72 miles, features the stories of three
separate interfaith Jewish families,two real, one not and one mine.
(24:36):
Together they trace 150 years of Kentuckyhistory with experiences that resonate
today about being Jewish in America,about being Jewish and being southern at
the same time and the blending of the two.
So strap in and take a ride with me upand down I 65 or back and forth
on the Ellen Railroad.
(24:56):
In the end, the win and the who don't makeas much difference as you might think.
But the wear?
Sure.
Us.
My name is Nathan Jordan Vaughan.
It's 72 miles till Kentucky.
Let's get moving.
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