March 11, 2026 • 52 mins
Ready to breathe again? We’re putting the car in the shop before Easter to realign what matters most: making Jesus our first love and clearing the clogged drain of unforgiveness that keeps peace, prayer, and joy from flowing. With honest stories, practical steps, and straight talk from scripture, we unpack why forgiveness is commanded, how reconciliation works when both parties engage, and why restitution is humility made visible. We also draw clear lines around boundaries—releasing someone doesn’t mean losing wisdom or access to safety.
We explore the hidden costs of resentment: spiritual numbness, a defensive identity, strained relationships, and generational bitterness. You’ll hear how a single text—“You hurt me, but I forgive you”—opened the door to the first apology in years, and how writing “I forgave” with a date can anchor your choice when old feelings resurface. We tackle the hard questions head-on: If I forgive, who makes them pay? What if they never say sorry? How do I know whom to approach first? The answer centers on the cross—Jesus paid—and on your freedom not being held hostage by another person’s response.
Along the way, we outline a simple path you can act on this week: start small, start sincere, and start now. Identify the names that change your emotional temperature, own your part without excuses, initiate peace where possible, and let the Holy Spirit lead when silence protects rather than provokes. When Jesus is first and grudges are released, worship deepens, prayer reconnects, peace expands, and spiritual power strengthens your no to sin and yes to love. That’s the ministry of reconciliation we’ve received—and it’s the life you were made to live.
If this conversation helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs freedom today, and leave a review so more people can discover hope and healing before Easter.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
Welcome and thanks for joining us on this episode
of the Midweek Podcast, broughtto you by a Fresh Wind Church.
Each week, our team brings younew content to help you take
steps towards Jesus and discovermore in Christ.
Today's episode is hosted byPastor Ryan.
SPEAKER_04 (00:27):
Hey, welcome back to the Midweek Podcast.
Pastor Ryan joined as alwayswith Pastor Tim, and we are in
week two of our series in theshop.
And uh as we uh head into thethe Easter season, we're we're
putting the putting the car inthe shop, getting some some work
done, and uh trying to get ourhearts and our lives prepared
and aligned for Easter.
(00:48):
Um, and uh, you know, Tim onSunday, you were saying, you
know, we're expecting God to dosome big things uh in and
through us this Easter so thatum he can reveal his who he is
and then also our purpose andthe mission that he has for us.
And so this is uh this is a timefor us to kind of pump the
brakes a little bit as we headinto the Easter season and say,
Lord, where him where where do Ineed some some realignment uh
(01:13):
and and do this diagnostic onme?
Open me up.
Um and so that's what we'vetalked about in the first couple
weeks.
And um man, uh, you came outswinging.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Well, let me tell you something.
Um Jesus made it clear inRevelation to the uh church of
Laodicea.
He said, You have lost yourfirst love.
I am, you're doing everythingcorrectly, you're living your
life, uh, but I'm not number oneanymore.
(01:44):
And I'm not saying I'm notnumber three or four, I'm near
the top, but I'm not number oneanymore.
And that is something that a uha Christian, you're gonna talk
about that this week, that thereason for spiritual disciplines
is to keep that in the forefrontof your mind.
If you continue your spiritualdisciplines, you'll you'll
(02:05):
realize when he slips down anotch and you can get him back
up.
That's right.
But uh once we once we make thatdecision to make him number one,
uh, we begin to align um withhim.
And that's that's the that'sthat's number one.
(02:25):
You can't get away from that.
Number two is to uh reconcileand uh clean up the tub.
That's the way I like to look atit.
When you're when you got um whenyou got some things in your life
where your relationships havehave hurt and they need to be
(02:46):
fixed, whether it's your faultor somebody else's fault, it's
like taking a shower and you gota good nothing's better than a
good hot, warm shower until youstart to feel the water coming
up above your ankles.
Like, what am I standing in?
Yeah, and what am I doing here?
And the little black flakes arestarting to float through there.
SPEAKER_04 (03:11):
That's best when you're at a hotel.
SPEAKER_01 (03:13):
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
But that's how a lot of peopleare living their Christian life.
They're um they're in a shower,they're trying to make God
number one, but they refuse toclean the clog.
And that clog is ourrelationship.
And once it goes, once you getthat cleaned out, you're free.
(03:34):
Uh I I know listen, this is howbad it is in our society today,
and not not just Christians, um,but it hurts Christians more
because it has a spiritualsignificance.
We are so wrapped up with ourhurt in relationships that none
of us ever get to take a fullbreath of air.
I don't know if you ever hurtyour ribs or not, but um you
(03:58):
fall on your ribs or you getpunched really good and uh you
bruise your ribs.
It is hard to suck in airwithout pain.
And that's kind of how it isliving with a uh relationship
that is unresolved.
unknown (04:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:11):
And uh that resolving is you, it's not them.
You can't make them be who youwant them to be, but you can
deal with them as God would dealwith them, and uh which is I
forgive you.
Uh, I need you to forgive mebecause I'm so mad at you, I
want to kill you.
(04:31):
But I want you to forgive me.
Well, I'm not gonna forgive you.
Well, that's fine.
I did what I need to do.
The drain is clear.
Now I can take a deep breathwithout any pain.
And um a lady was texting me um,I think it was Sunday night
after church, and and she said,I just wish everybody would just
(04:54):
do this one thing.
Life is so much freer on theother side.
Just every day there's not thatthing.
And uh it takes a while to workyour way through your
relationships and fix thosethings, and uh but once you do,
(05:15):
uh life is free.
Life is free, and you're gonnalet someone else um steal your
joy and your happiness.
It's hard to get joy andhappiness out of this life, and
you're gonna take the little bitthat you might get and toss it
in the ditch because of someoneelse.
It's time to stand up.
SPEAKER_04 (05:34):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
You you brought it out on Sunday.
SPEAKER_04 (05:36):
Um and I I think this is where so many people
struggle, is we feel like theyneed to they need to pay.
They hurt me, they need to pay.
And if I don't hold on to thisthing, then who's ever gonna
make them pay?
Right.
Um what's so silly about that isthat person goes on living their
(06:00):
life and they seem like they'redoing just fine.
Right.
It's you.
It's you that every time theywalk in the room, you get it
angry, you you get mad.
You I mean, it doesn't matter,you could be having the best
time of your life.
They walk in the room and it'slike, well, not gonna have a
good time anymore.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
Right.
There's always something.
SPEAKER_04 (06:19):
Yeah, you brought it up in in the sermon, you know.
Even if if someone else justbrings up their name and God
forbid they talk about them in apositive way, right, you know,
and it's your whole day's ruinednow.
Like that, you think you'repunishing that person, and the
whole time all you're doing ispunishing yourself.
That that lady who texted you,she's 100% right.
(06:40):
It is free on the other side.
SPEAKER_01 (06:42):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (06:42):
And I'm not to keep just quoting your sermon here,
but you brought it up again onSunday, is we're not saying you
gotta be best friends with thesepeople, right?
We're not saying that what theydid to you was was right, um, or
that you don't need to haveboundaries in place uh to
prevent it from happening again.
You know, we're scripturedoesn't tell you just be stupid,
(07:03):
you know.
Um but it if you would just say,Lord, I I I'm I forgive them, I
choose to forgive them.
Um and man, you can start tomove forward in freedom, and
like you're saying, you canfinally have joy and happiness
in life again.
Um and when they walk in theroom, you might not go over and
(07:25):
give them a high five, you know,hey, so glad you're here, but
it's not gonna affect you.
SPEAKER_01 (07:30):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (07:30):
You're not gonna have that pit in your stomach,
that vial, you know, startrising up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:35):
And that's a process, but it's a process
that's easily won once you gothere the first time.
And um, and every time it comesback, you can just forgive.
And when Satan brings it up toyou, you can say, Oh, thanks for
reminding me that in this I actlike Jesus and I forgive him.
SPEAKER_04 (07:53):
I've encouraged people, you know, especially on
those ones when when someone'sreally hurt you, um, go home,
find a piece of paper, writedown, I forgave this person in
the date, and shove it in yourBible.
No one needs to see it, but it'sthis reminder on this date, I
already made that decision.
Because the enemy is, he's gonnabring this back up to you.
(08:14):
Someone's gonna say their name,you're gonna start feeling that
way again, and it's that thing.
And maybe you don't even writetheir name down because I'm not,
you know, if it was yourhusband, you know, right?
I'm not trying to get you tostart something accidentally,
just I forgave in the date, andyou'll know what that means.
SPEAKER_02 (08:31):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (08:31):
Um, but it's that decision saying, no, no, I
already did this.
I wrote it down, I made thatcommitment with the Lord.
Devil, you you can't use thisagainst me.
You don't have permission to usethis against me.
Right.
There's no condemnation for me.
I'm in Christ Jesus.
I laid that down and forgave.
SPEAKER_01 (08:48):
And it's important to make that decision.
Which that's exactly the lasttwo sermons have been about
choosing, choosing to do thesethings.
And on the other side, if youhurt somebody, um, and this is
terrible.
I I see it all the time.
I I see pastors who come out ofprison who went in there for
(09:10):
awful things, and come out andstart preaching and laughing and
living in joy.
And I I'm like, Man, the peopleyou hurt.
And we don't know what's goingon in that guy's heart.
We don't know how much regretthat he has.
Um but now he has joy.
(09:32):
And sometimes the people thatyou've hurt see that and they
resent you even more.
So um you need to apologize tothe people that you've hurt.
Tell them you're sorry and makerestitution and get that out of
your way so they so they candeal with it.
And it's easier for them to dealwith it, I think, um when you
(09:54):
recognize you're wrong.
That's confession, right?
I I was wrong.
That no matter what thesituation was, you hit me first
or or you said that or you didthis, but what I did on my own
was wrong, and I am sorry.
SPEAKER_04 (10:15):
I was uh, you know, Joey and I we were talking about
the message this week, and um Iwas telling her, I was like,
man, I I've been trying to, youknow, just go back in and start
searching.
Lord, is there anybody that I'vehurt even unintentionally?
Um because you know, I try totreat people well.
(10:35):
Um I'm I'm one of those peoplethat there's not much I'm gonna
hold on to and I'm gonna put mystake in the ground, and I mean
I will crawl over myself beggingfor your forgiveness, you know.
Um but I'm like, that doesn'tmean over the years I haven't
hurt people, you know.
Even if I was trying to to dogood by them, that doesn't mean
(10:56):
they took what I did as thatway, you know.
Um, and so I was I was rackingmy brain that way.
Um, and I, you know, there'smaybe one or two that I'm like,
you know what, I might need toreach out to them this week, um,
just to make sure.
Um, and I don't know if theytook anything I said wrong, um,
but if they did, I I want toapologize.
(11:18):
Um, actually, Jared called meand um guys, you know, we all
had that kind of locker roombanter.
We're always picking on oneanother, you know.
Um, Jared had cut his finger anduh went to the doctor.
It was infected.
I'm like, oh, did they have tocut it off?
He goes, No, they're letting mekeep it.
And I was like, oh, he goes,what does that mean?
(11:41):
Um, but I was like, you knowwhat?
After Tim's sermon, Jared, Iprobably need to apologize for
everything I've ever said toyou.
So, Jared, this is my publicapology too.
Um, but then the other thingthat I was trying to think of is
when people, is there anybodythat when they walk in the room,
I have an emotional reaction toit negatively, you know?
(12:06):
Um, and again, I was like, man,there might be one.
And it's nobody in this church,so don't everyone's gonna be, is
it me?
No, it's none of you.
Um and again, I don't know ifthe person knows.
I've never treated themdifferently because of it,
anything like that.
But I'm like, Man, I don't know.
And this is and so I'd be thiswill be interesting to get your
(12:30):
perspective on this, maybe.
Um, because what I was talkingto Joy about, I'm like, I don't
know if this person even knows Igot this thing.
I've never never communicated itto them, you know, whatever.
But when they come around,there's a uh in me.
And I was like, do I do I needto call that person and and
(12:50):
apologize?
Or do I just give that to theLord?
Um, because I'm not trying to,again, I'm not trying to start
nothing that hasn't already beenstarted.
SPEAKER_01 (12:58):
That's important not to go into details about what
you're trying to uh unlessyou're the offender and you know
exactly what it is, um, ifyou've been offended, then they
don't need to know becausethey'll just justify it.
Um or they'll say, I'm glad Igot you then.
Depending on who theirpersonality is.
(13:18):
Uh uh maybe, but it's leadershipof the Holy Spirit.
Hey, Satan's smart dude, andanything time he can start
something, he'll start it.
And um he can get he can he cantake something that you've
already forgiven, and you'vemade that stand and you've
(13:38):
forgiven, and he'll come back.
I don't think you have.
I don't think you have.
And you need to stand in faiththat you have, uh, because he's
just trying to get you started.
Because he knows that as soon asyou say that to that person,
he's gonna do something else tomake you mad, you know.
And um, so there's people likethat out there.
I see um women and men, uh, whenyou go and say, Hey, you know, I
(14:04):
got mad at you, and um and theLord told me, and this is what I
always I add that to yourapology, the Lord told me I need
to say I'm sorry, so I'm sorry.
And um and they just act like,well, if that hurts you, you're
weak.
You know?
Right.
And um and you just need to logaway.
(14:26):
Um because they're they'relooking for justification.
You know, they don't want to bethe bad guy in a situation.
Nobody does.
If someone comes to you, you'regonna feel the same way.
But um let me tell yousomething.
This is this is an importantthing.
Uh, because some people haveoffended you and they don't even
know.
Right.
(14:46):
And and they might not evencare.
And so when you go to them, youdon't want to get in this
tussle.
You're what you're doing isgetting right with God by
getting right with them.
That's your that's your goalhere, right?
So getting into another tussleis, you know, and trying to
straighten this out to who'sright and who's wrong is is not
(15:09):
what we're trying to accomplish.
Right.
You want to live at peace withthem.
And the the Lord tells you to tosay this to them, then just say
it and drop it.
And I there's a lot of peoplewhen you go and say, Hey, I had
something against you, and theLord told me I need to tell you
I'm sorry, they're offended.
Well, I want to know what it is,you know.
(15:29):
Well, you you don't get to knowthis between me and the Lord.
See ya, and then you can't begratified by the fact that
they're upset.
It I mean, there's a lot to thisuh because when you're
misaligned in your relationship,it deforms you.
You know, you're you're not umsomething's messed up in you and
(15:53):
it it's changed everything.
So you you don't you don't wantto play with that, right?
You don't want to get out thehammer and put it in the forge
and try to straighten it out.
You let the Holy Spirit do that,or you're just gonna get messed
up.
I remember you came to me yearsago, um, and I appreciate this
(16:13):
in you, and said, Is theresomething between me and you?
And I was like, What are youtalking about?
And uh, I don't know, you'vebeen treating me kind of rough.
And uh and I was, and I was justbeing a grumpy old man.
And uh and I was like, Yeah, Iyeah, I am.
(16:36):
Sorry about that.
And uh so uh those things needto be fixed.
Now, if you would have nevercame to me, um you would have
thought that I was treating yourough this whole time.
Because I tell you what, if forfive years you act a certain way
(16:56):
to your wife or forget to do onething for your wife every week
for five years, and then you fixit, and five years later, when
you haven't forgotten that andyou forget it once, guess what
she thinks?
You always do that, right?
(17:16):
That's what happens.
So uh we have to be um we haveto fix these things, we gotta
clog that drain, uh get that uhclog out of the drain um so that
we can be free.
And I think I think we get uhmalformed and we and we build
these.
(17:37):
Um if you were in my uh D class,we build these um emotional
walls around this hurt that allthat's gotta be taken care of
for me to get right with thisperson, and that's not true.
You say the words and the HolySpirit does the rest.
SPEAKER_04 (17:57):
That's good.
I uh I was talking to um I don'twant to give any names uh or
details, but a person in thechurch um had a really rough uh
relationship with one of theirtheir close family members, um
just hadn't been treated verygood by them.
And uh after your sermon onSunday, they they sent a text to
(18:19):
him and said, Hey, I just wantto let you know um that that
you've hurt me, but but Iforgive you for doing it.
Um and the first text back said,uh, what did I do?
I didn't know I hurt you, butI'm sorry.
Um and they've had a chance tostart texting and communicating
(18:39):
back and forth for the firsttime in quite some time.
And she was like, It's the firsttime he's ever said sorry to
anybody that we know of, youknow.
Um, and and man, it just itbroke me because I'm like, this
is this is what people canexperience if we would get over
our pride, if we'd get over ouranger, our need for vengeance or
(19:00):
or whatever it is, and just say,Hey, I forgive you.
Um, restoration can happen, um,reconciliation can happen.
And it doesn't always happen.
No, it doesn't always happen,but it can, the possibilities
there, and what what Tim'ssaying here is so important.
We we remove that clog from thedrain, and now the Holy Spirit
can begin to move through usagain.
(19:22):
Um man, you read some somescripture on Sunday that was
rough.
I mean, if if you hold thisthing against your brother and
you won't forgive him, well, Godsays, I won't forgive you.
Well, hold on.
Right.
unknown (19:38):
What?
SPEAKER_04 (19:38):
Um I mean that this is this is serious stuff, and
and we we walk around with itlike it's like it's not a big
deal.
Right.
Um the church has heard me talkabout this a lot, but you know,
when I when I talk about sin, Ilike the way I describe it is
like it's playing with matchesin a puddle of gas.
Um we have no idea howdestructive sin is.
(20:01):
And so we're sitting here, we'restriking the match, striking the
match, striking the match.
One of those times the fumes aregonna build up and you're gonna
strike that match, and it'sgonna blow up everything.
This unforgiveness is strikingthat match over and over and
over again.
You're sitting there, and theHoly Spirit's like, listen, we
can't be in communication untilyou let this thing go.
SPEAKER_01 (20:24):
Right.
That's that's the scriptures Iread on Sunday.
And even this idea ofreconciliation, him reconciling
us so that we can reconcileothers.
It is crazy that that's ourresponsibility, but you don't
hear that preached anywhere.
Yeah, it's anywhere.
(20:45):
This is our responsibility.
And um, I didn't even get intothe scripture.
When I talk about forgiveness, Iusually use the you know, the
parable about the servant andthe king, and the king forgave
him millions of dollars, and hecouldn't forgive a couple of
pennies.
And at the end of that verse ofthat story, he says, So the king
(21:08):
delivered him over to thetorturers until he could pay
everything.
Now, when you're being tortured,it's kind of hard to earn money
to pay, right?
SPEAKER_04 (21:23):
Uh hey, I need to leave and go to work.
No, you just sit right here.
SPEAKER_01 (21:28):
And then what he says right after that, he says,
and this is what the Lord willdo to you who will not forgive
their brother.
Man, I tell you what, and it'ssomething that, man, we gloss
over and we don't think about,but uh, this is probably what's
clogging your drain.
If the Holy Spirit is not goingthrough you, these two things.
(21:49):
Now, what we're gonna talk aboutlater in the shop is how to
maintain these two things rightJesus number one, and then
loving people free.
Everyone and cleaning that clog.
Once you get that done, I'mtelling you, man, everything
changes.
Your freedom becomes you cantaste it.
(22:15):
You can breathe it in.
These things are what G Jesus,he was after them, and he talked
about it a lot.
You love your brother.
This is how they know your mind.
You know, talked about unity allthe time.
And once you're free from thisand you clean up your other
(22:37):
relationships, whatever it lookslike, and you get all that done,
you're gonna live in a way thatyou don't want to get messed up
again.
So when you offend somebody oryou're like, man, I shouldn't
have said that, you're on thephone right away.
Hey, I said that and I thought Iwas funny and I'm not.
That's that's my apology.
That's that's Tim Holtz.
If you have to say that, thenyou're following in my
(22:59):
footsteps.
Um you need to, you need you'llstart doing it right away
because you don't want to loseit.
Um it's uh it's actually just awonderful thing.
That there's a big problem herethat we need to talk about a
little bit because it's alwayswho's gonna pay for how bad
you've hurt me.
(23:20):
Somebody's gotta pay.
Let me tell you, brothers andsisters, and this is hard to
wrap your head around.
Jesus paid for that.
He paid for that.
When he hung on the cross, hewas thinking about that
situation that you were in.
And you can forgive because theprice has been paid in Jesus.
(23:44):
That's right.
And uh that person he may saysorry, he may come to Christ, he
may do all kinds of things andnot ever have to pay.
But someone paid, and his nameis Jesus.
SPEAKER_04 (24:00):
That's you know, reminds me of Jonah.
Um, when Jonah went to toNineveh and God ends up
forgiving those people.
We all think Jonah doesn't wantto go to Nineveh because he's
afraid of those monsters.
Right.
Um, and there might have beensome of that, but when he goes,
he preaches the worst sermonyou've ever heard in your life.
(24:21):
He's like, listen, y'all repentor God's gonna kill you.
And he did it reluctantly.
He's like, I don't even want tobe here.
But uh then he goes and he sitsup on that mountaintop to watch
them burn.
He's just waiting for God burnthem all up.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
He's that's my favorite book of the Bible.
SPEAKER_04 (24:38):
And when God doesn't, and the whole city
comes out and and repents.
Jonas ticked.
He said, I knew you weremerciful, I knew you would
forgive them if they did this.
That's what he's angry about.
And and guys, I know whensomeone hurts you, you want them
(24:59):
to pay.
You want them to feel not evenjust the pain that they cause
you, you want them to hurtworse.
Um and it's not right.
They should never have done it.
But what Tim just said here,man, it's so important.
Someone did pay.
Now, if they never confess Jesusas Lord, listen, he says
(25:20):
vengeance is mine.
And if they don't repent, Imean, who wants to, you know, be
in the hands of an angry God?
You know?
Um, but if they if they dorepent, he's gonna forgive them.
But that still means someonepaid because he paid for it.
They asked for his forgiveness,and because he already paid the
(25:43):
price, they're forgiven, justlike you are.
I it it's you know, you look atthe apostle Paul, you were
talking a little bit ago aboutyou know, these pastors who get
out of prison and find joy andall this stuff.
Man, I I can't imagine.
We all look up to Paul and we'relike, man, if I can only be like
Paul.
(26:04):
Yeah, we well, Paul is amurderer, you know, like
rounding up Christians, lockingthem in jail, destroying
families and communities.
He was a terror, people wereterrified when Paul came around.
They're like, Everybody go hide.
We don't want to be around thisguy.
And he said, Man, out of out ofall the sinners, I'm the worst.
(26:24):
Yeah, that's how Paul describedhimself.
I'm I'm the worst of them.
And and yet he was able to findthat forgiveness through through
Christ.
Um, Jesus paid for it, you know,and and he's gonna do that for
you, but he'll do it for foryour enemy too.
SPEAKER_01 (26:42):
Yeah.
And you know, I I've said thisbefore: the most godly thing
that you can do in this life isto forgive, is to follow Jesus
into forgiveness.
Listen, when you when you can'tforgive or you have
unforgiveness in your heart, youget a spiritual numbness because
your communication uh with theHoly Spirit um dries up.
(27:07):
You get a defensive identity,like a victimhood, and you're
just waiting for someone totreat you like that one person
did.
And then you uh eventually,because you're not hearing from
the Holy Spirit anymore, you youget into this uh
performance-based life, youknow, where you're trying to be
(27:28):
good enough uh for the Lord,even though you know in your
head that that's not how itworks.
And then in life itself, becauseGod has turned you over to the
torturers and you don't evenknow it, all of your
relationships start sufferingbecause of this one.
(27:49):
Scripture says that a um bitterroot grows up and affects
everyone around them.
And um it doesn't matter, youcan move away from that person,
you can do whatever.
But we're talking a one-time uhhumiliating humbleness, one time
(28:12):
uh facing of whatever this thingis for the rest of your life of
being free.
And uh it's worth it.
It's worth it.
Not most importantly becauseyour relationship with God is
unclogged, um, but also for thefreedom it brings.
SPEAKER_04 (28:32):
Years ago I saw uh I want to say it might have been
Stephen Furtick down atelevation.
He was uh preaching this sermon,and I think he called it the
prison of a fence.
Um and he's got this little youknow planner's box thing on
stage, probably you know, eightfeet long, something like that.
And he has just planks that goto a fence, and so he starts
(28:56):
talking about you know using afence with the physical
representation of a fence, andso he's using these planks and
he starts listing off theseoffenses and he shoves it into
this box, and then he talksabout another one and he shoves
it into the box, and all of asudden he's standing completely
behind, you know, six, eightfoot, ten-foot fence.
(29:19):
Um congregation can't even seehim preaching anymore.
You know, there's a fencebetween him and them, and man,
that visual visualrepresentation of like, man,
this is this is what a fencedoes to us is it builds this
fence that blocks us off fromour communication and our line
with God and with one another sothat we become isolated and
(29:40):
alone, um, standing on the otherside of that fence all by
ourselves.
Um, this is this is importantstuff.
And I love what you said there.
One moment of humbling orhumility of just taking it on
the chin and saying, Man, willyou forgive me?
Or man, I'm I'm so sorry.
(30:00):
Um, or I forgive you is worth itfor a life of freedom.
SPEAKER_01 (30:05):
Amen.
Amen.
See, the reason you're resistingthis um is not because of how
wrong they are, it's because ofuh it's because of pride and um
the Lord resists pride andyou're getting yourself in this
circle of I'm not gonna do it,um, because it'll embarrass me.
(30:28):
I'm not gonna do it becausethey're the one that was wrong.
It becomes this um circle thatyou can't get out of.
And you build those walls up,and then everybody that you love
has to deal with those walls.
And um you see it generational,if you're mad at your dad, guess
(30:49):
who else is mad at your dad?
Maybe not your wife, but yourkids will be.
They'll take an offense for youand they'll build a fence and
their kids will do the samething.
And it doesn't ever stay,bitterness never just stays in
(31:10):
one place.
And I think sometimes we thinkthis is all about me and I can
do um it's not gonna affectanybody else.
I'm not gonna let this go.
But I I tell you, the longer youkeep it, the more you'll fall in
love with it.
(31:30):
Some people love their hurt andand they can't separate
themselves from it anymore.
And that is something that theLord wants to free you from.
And uh so that goes back not tojust uh in the shop number two,
which is your horizontalrelationships to those people
(31:50):
around you, it goes back to inthe shop number one, which is
who's your priority.
And if God's your priority, youcan't love your hurt more than
you love him.
And you've gotta let it go.
He has to be number one.
(32:11):
And he will give you thespiritual power to forgive.
He absolutely will.
Because he wants to make youlike him and you're growing in
sanctification every day.
So if you're gonna be like him,you're gonna forgive.
(32:31):
I know this is heavy, and I knowa lot of you you don't know what
they did, and the truth is Idon't want to know.
But I know that you have toforgive.
And sometimes when you'repraying, um that person might be
gone.
They might have already passedon, and or you have no access to
(32:54):
that person, you can stillforgive.
You can forgive, and like Ryansaid, write it down uh and just
say, God, this is what I'm gonnado.
In Jesus' name, I forgive thisperson, write it down, and then
you can go back to that everytime that hurt comes back up.
(33:15):
But the Holy Spirit wants tohelp you in an in a way that's
as easy as possible so that youcan give up your hurt.
And when your vertical or yourhorizontal relationship, you got
this hurt, um, it affects yourspiritual sooner or later.
(33:38):
Listen to me, this is this isawful, but it happens every day.
Your hurt becomes more importantthan him.
And then your hurt's number onein your life and not God.
And so um all I can say isshowers where the bathtub's
(34:01):
filling up, it's just amiserable place, miserable place
to be.
And um I I just want toencourage you to step out of
that tub, get that Draeno orwhatever, and get that clog
free.
Just do this one thing um asmuch as it hurts your pride to
(34:22):
do it, and then be free.
Be free.
SPEAKER_04 (34:26):
Yeah.
Um Jesus, man, he he told usthis.
And again, I think you read theverse this past week or the week
before, and I think I used it acouple weeks ago.
Um, most important command isthis love God and love people.
It all comes back.
He says, all the law, all theprophets, everything comes back
to these two things.
And and you said this earlier: if we would get these two things (34:48):
undefined
right, the rest of followingJesus is really just about
obedience.
It's that maintenance thing ofstaying in step with him, right?
Abiding in him, abiding in him,yeah.
These are the things that buildthe wall, these are the things
that put hindrance between youand God.
(35:10):
Um, where he says, I listen,until you take care of this, I'm
I can't even hear you.
Um, man, what an awfulrelationship to be in with God,
um, where he can't even listento your prayers because you
won't forgive, you know?
Um, and so it all comes back tothis.
If I love him and I'll put himfirst, and if I love people,
(35:32):
meaning I'll forgive them, I'mI'm not gonna allow this thing
to stand between us.
Um I'm gonna love him the waythat I love myself, the way that
I would want you to forgive meif I wronged you, I'm gonna do
that.
Then man, the your Christianlife becomes free.
And we're gonna talk aboutspiritual disciplines and all
this stuff coming up on Sunday.
(35:52):
But man, you you you're free todo it.
And those things begin to helpyou take those steps to towards
Jesus.
Um but until until you're doingthis, man, it's it's like
running on a hamster wheel, youknow, and then you're coming to
church, you're doing all thisstuff, and you feel like you're
not getting anywhere, you'renot.
(36:13):
You know, the tub's filling up.
Um, you gotta, you gotta letthese things go.
And it it's loving God andloving people.
SPEAKER_01 (36:22):
Um and I don't I don't know how to get your
priority vested here because wesee people who are addicted to
drugs, alcohol, porn, you know,whatever, whatever it is, and
you're like, man, you know, thisis the most important sin that I
have, and I I really need toconcentrate on this.
(36:42):
No, listen to me.
If you get number one right,then your addiction's in
trouble.
Number one, God is my number onepriority.
I seek first the kingdom of God.
Your addictions will fall underthat if you can get that fixed.
Don't worry about those.
Because when you love Jesus asmuch as a forgiven sinner can,
(37:04):
then those addictions won't beworth it to you.
So I'm not gonna let it standbetween me and him.
I love him too much.
Just charge forward on numberone, he's gonna be my priority.
And number two, fix yourrelationships.
Guys, this is where it's at.
Now let me clarify all thisbecause we've talked about
(37:25):
forgiveness, reconciliation, andrestitution.
Let me just march it down one,two, three.
First, forgiveness.
It is commanded.
You always are required toforgive.
Well, what if they're not sorry?
It doesn't matter.
You still have to forgive.
(37:47):
Okay.
And then we go to number two,reconciliation.
This is the ideal that, but itrequires both parties to come
together and and settle.
And that's what we want.
But it might not happen.
And number three, restitution.
(38:08):
As far as it depends on you,Paul said.
So you have to takeresponsibility for your side.
SPEAKER_04 (38:17):
And so Tim, I want them to say they're sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (38:20):
I know, I know.
But listen, if they never do,you can be free.
Yep.
You can be free.
SPEAKER_04 (38:29):
This is so important, man.
Um, because it you you you'reholding the key to your own
prison, you know?
Um as much as it depends on you,which means you're not
responsible for how they theytake your apology.
Um, you're you're notresponsible for how they react
to it, anything.
(38:50):
But you can say, hey, you knowwhat?
I I think what I what I saidlast week, um, that might have
hurt you.
Um and I and I'm sorry.
Would you forgive me?
And like you said earlier, theymight say, No, no, I'm still mad
at it, mad about it, and I wantto punch you in the face.
Hey, I and again, I'm I'm sorrythat that I did it, that I said
(39:12):
it.
I wish I could take it back.
I know I can't, but uh, I hopeone day you'll you'll be able to
forgive me.
And and you let let yourself outand you've unclogged that drain.
Um, you know, I in all this,we're not trying to give you
permission to go and uh hurtpeople and then just hey, I'm
sorry, hey, I'm sorry.
(39:32):
You know, yeah.
Um actions speak louder thanwords.
Um you have to to provesometimes that your repentance
to people by changing how youlive.
Don't don't go on hurting peopleand just saying, hey, I said I'm
sorry and you're a Christian,you have to forgive me.
No, you're just a stinking jerk,man.
Stop it.
Yeah.
(39:53):
But if you if you can go tothose people and apologize and
ask for their forgiveness orstart to forgive those people,
man, you you unlock that thatthing.
And so um, yeah, reconciliation,that's ideal.
We'd love for that to happen.
I I wish I could sit here andpromise you that your
relationship with your with yourkids or with your mom or dad or
(40:13):
or whoever is going to be fixed.
I don't know that it will be,but I know that you are you hold
the key um to unclogging thisdrain, and and you can be in
tune with God.
Um, and you can have access toHis His Spirit, His power in
your life.
Um, to take these steps, youjust gotta forgive first.
SPEAKER_01 (40:36):
Yeah.
God always resists the proud.
Forgiveness changes your posturefrom pride to humility.
Repentance changes yourbehavior, and restitution proves
that it happened.
unknown (40:49):
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (40:50):
You know, uh, restitution is where your
humility becomes visible topeople.
So pride says they started it.
Pride says, I'll forgive, but Iwon't initiate.
They have to come and saythey're sorry.
And pride says, time will fixit, I'll forget it.
Uh that's just your pridetalking.
(41:12):
Fix it.
Fix it.
You don't listen, you're missingout every day that you hang on
to this.
You're missing out on joy,you're missing out on sleep,
less stress, um, uh bitterness,a bitter heart.
Even doctors will tell you, youneed to go see a therapist.
You got to get rid of this.
You know, uh, you're in herebecause your foot hurts, and and
(41:36):
all you can talk about is whatyour dad did to you.
You need to go see a therapistand get this straight.
What you need to do is go to theHoly Spirit and say, God, help
me resolve this and uh let meforgive.
Although a therapist is a goodgood idea too.
SPEAKER_04 (41:52):
What I love about the passage you read in Matthew
is we would expect it to say,you know, if you're at the altar
and you realize you haveunforgiveness, um, go apologize.
Um, tell them you're sorry,whatever.
Tell them you forgive them, thencome back.
When it says if you know someonehas something against you, and
(42:13):
man, that that's that's adifferent conversation because
now I'm I'm the aggressor inthis, and we always we want to
look at how people have hurt me.
Um, and Jesus saying, No, I needyou to take a look and examine
how have you hurt other people.
Um, and like I said, sometimesthat's intentionally.
We want them to to hurt orwhatever.
(42:33):
We we're trying to get back atthem.
Sometimes it's unintentional,you know.
We just, man, I I joke, youknow, I tell jokes.
I'm I'm sarcastic.
Um, that's mine.
I love sarcasm.
And uh, we read a book one timeand says, you need to get
sarcasm out of your house.
And I was like, this book sucks.
I'm not reading it.
(42:54):
Um, love it.
But uh man, we we need to lookand say, man, where where have I
where have I hurt people?
Man, this is this is anopportunity, um, especially as
we head into Easter.
You said it on Sunday.
We get to be most like Jesus inthis in this way.
Absolutely.
Um, and man, I I even loved, Idon't know if you even said it
(43:14):
in both services.
I know I think it was servicetwo.
Um, but you said, man, anytimethe devil brings it up, you just
get to say, Hey, thanks forreminding me.
I get to be like Jesus here.
SPEAKER_02 (43:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (43:27):
Um, how powerful is that?
You know, there is nothing moreChrist-like that we can do than
forgive.
Um, and the bigger they hurtyou, the more Christ-like you
can be.
Right.
You know, um, when you look andyou realize all the things that
God has has forgiven you for.
Um, every time you let themdown, every time you you swore
(43:50):
that you weren't going to pickthat thing back up, but you
picked it back up when you saidthat you were gonna start doing
it and you never started doingit.
Um All those things and Christsaid, Man, I forgive you for all
of it.
Um and then you get to turnaround and say, Man, I forgive
you.
And this is this is why when youknow, was it Peter that came up
(44:13):
and asked Jesus, how many timesshould I forgive my brother who
sins against me?
Um what did he say, three times?
Should I forgive him threetimes?
He had to be thinking, that'sthat's a lot, you know, like if
someone hurts me, all right, Iforgive you.
You come and do it again, okay,but I'll forgive you.
By the third time, you're like,okay, this is a pattern.
(44:35):
I'm not gonna keep forgivingyou.
And Jesus looks at him and says,Nah, not three times.
Not seven times, but seventytimes seven.
This infinite supply offorgiveness.
This is how important this is toJesus.
SPEAKER_01 (44:51):
Um you can take that and start counting for the 400
times.
SPEAKER_03 (44:56):
Seven times 70.
Okay, hold on one.
Two.
We're gonna get thereeventually.
SPEAKER_01 (45:02):
So if they had uh offend you 491 times, then that
491st time you don't have toforgive.
Just tell God Pastor Tim saidthat.
SPEAKER_04 (45:15):
I've done it 490 times now.
It's you forgive them.
Okay, I'm done.
SPEAKER_01 (45:20):
So I think we need to kind of identify um who we're
talking about here.
Uh, number one is who do Irehearse conversations about in
my head?
SPEAKER_04 (45:31):
That can that can tell you Man, if I saw them, I
would have told them I shouldhave said.
SPEAKER_01 (45:36):
Or, you know, it might be your boss, and you
might have said, I should havesaid this, or I should have said
that.
Yep.
Um whose name changes myemotional temperature?
If you just said a person's nameand and it just changes your uh
mood.
SPEAKER_04 (45:57):
Heart starts to beat a little faster, the palms get a
little sweaty.
SPEAKER_01 (46:02):
Or you get a little sadder or um grumpy.
Um so that's number two.
Who changes my emotionaltemperature?
Number three, when I'm waitingfor someone else to initiate uh
initiate, who am I waiting toinitiate the fix of this
(46:24):
situation?
Um that's the person you need togo to.
You know, and don't go and say,look, I've been waiting for you
to come and say you're sorry,but you suck, so you never did
that.
I want you to know I forgiveyou.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
SPEAKER_04 (46:41):
But um You wouldn't do what you were supposed to, so
now I have to be the biggerperson and come over here.
SPEAKER_01 (46:48):
So, and um Yeah, some that might work for some
people, but listen, um it's ifthere's a person like that
you're waiting to say they'resorry, and um then you need to
go.
You need to go.
And number four, whatrestitution would humility
(47:11):
require?
What what can you do to sayyou're sorry?
I I tell you what, I've had tostand up in front of church
because I talked about someonein front of church and used them
for an example and it hurt theirfeelings.
And I've had to get up in frontof the whole church and say,
that was wrong, and I am sorry,and I have to do it in front of
(47:33):
everybody because I brought youall in on this.
SPEAKER_04 (47:35):
Yeah, and and you want to be the person with the
microphone, right?
Yeah.
Sometimes it's better to justsit out there in the seat.
Right.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (47:45):
No, let me speak.
No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03 (47:47):
Wait.
SPEAKER_01 (47:49):
Uh so I I just want you to uh we're with you in this
because uh we want you to livein freedom.
That's right.
We want you to be free.
And uh and once you get pastthis um who's number one, and
then I'm gonna clean up uh myrelationships, the Christian
(48:12):
life becomes so fascinating andfull and free.
And uh, yeah, well, I got thisaddiction, I got this thing.
Well, the Lord's gonna work onthat as he grows and sanctifies
you, sanctifies you.
But God came to reconcilereconcile humankind, mankind to
himself, so that humanity canreconcile humanity.
SPEAKER_04 (48:37):
You have been given the ministry of reconciliation.
SPEAKER_01 (48:39):
And that is that is who we are.
You're looking for an identity,that this is your identity.
You're a uh reconciliator forJesus, and that's what it's all
about.
So um get that done around youand encourage other people to do
it too.
SPEAKER_04 (48:55):
And here's here's our encouragement as we kind of
wrap this thing up today.
Um, one, you need to startsmall.
Uh just just start praying,Lord.
Um who do who do I need to toapologize to or who do I need to
forgive?
And um you know, Lord's gonnabring people to your mind and
(49:16):
you know, maybe start with theeasiest one, right?
Build up some courage.
Uh he'll he'll help you get tothat that one, you know, that
that's really bothering you.
Um, but start small, startsincere.
Uh, like I said, this isn'tabout just, hey, I'm sorry, and
then I'm gonna keep going ondoing the same thing.
You know, we need to be sincerein this.
(49:37):
Um, and finally start this week.
Quit waiting, quit postponingthis thing.
It is clogging the drain, it ispreventing the Holy Spirit from
flowing through your life.
Um, and and God says, I listen,until you take care of this, I I
can't hear you.
We need to start this week.
And so um, I'm encouraged, likeI said, Joy and I, we've already
(50:00):
been talking about it, rackingour brains.
Who is it that I need toapologize to?
Who is it that I need toforgive?
Um, you got people texting youabout it.
Uh, I talked to that personyesterday who's already uh begun
the process, and and it seemslike maybe some reconciliation
is starting to happen there.
Praise the Lord for that.
Amen.
Um quit waiting.
Start this week.
SPEAKER_01 (50:21):
Easter is on the way.
Right.
We think it's all about them,but listen, this alignment is
not about them, it's about whoyou are becoming.
That's right.
When you get your relationshipsright, prayer flows, worship
deepens, peace increases,spiritual power strengthens.
(50:43):
This is how you want to live.
Absolutely.
You don't want to live waitingfor somebody else to make you
happy.
So let's do it.
Pray for us, Ryan.
SPEAKER_04 (50:51):
Well, you know what?
Um coming up, unless anythingchanges, uh, this this Monday
night, your discovery class isyou will be like him.
And we're talking about who whoyou're becoming and what it
means to be like Jesus.
You need to come to thatdiscovery class next Monday and
learn what it means for us to belike him.
That's the promise.
One day we'll see him face toface.
(51:13):
We're gonna be just like him,Scripture says.
So what an amazing truth.
Father, we thank you so much foryour word.
Lord, we thank you even forthese tough passages that uh,
man, they punch us right in themouth.
Um, but Lord, they they're thethings that that provide freedom
in our life.
And uh Father, it does.
Our our worship and our prayerbegins to deepen the peace that
(51:34):
that we experience, uh begins tosurpass all understanding.
Um and Lord, the power that wehave to say no to sin and yes to
you begins to strengthen.
Uh our faith is emboldened.
And so, Father, I pray that wewould not let anything stand
between making you number oneand loving people the way that
(51:54):
you love them.
Um Lord, just the way that welove ourselves.
And most of us we love ourselvesa lot.
And so, Father, help us to startsmall, to start sincere, to
start this week doing thesethings: forgiving, asking for
forgiveness.
Let us look and represent you inthe world.
(52:14):
Um, because we know that we aremost like you and we choose to
forgive.
In Jesus' name.
unknown (52:19):
Amen.
SPEAKER_04 (52:20):
Amen and amen.
SPEAKER_00 (52:21):
Thanks again for joining us for this episode of
the Midweek Podcast.
We'd love to hear from you.
Let us know how God is usingthis resource in your life or
send any podcast questions ortopic ideas to podcast at a
freshwind.org.
If you would like to supportthis ministry financially and
help us continue offering newresources that equip you to
discover more in Christ, simplytext any amount to the number
(52:44):
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We're so grateful for yoursupport.
Make sure to tune in next weekfor a brand new episode of the
Midweek Podcast.
Be blessed and have a greatweek.
Welcome and thanks for joining us on this episode
of the Midweek Podcast, broughtto you by a Fresh Wind Church.
Each week, our team brings younew content to help you take
steps towards Jesus and discovermore in Christ.
Today's episode is hosted byPastor Ryan.
SPEAKER_04 (00:27):
Hey, welcome back to the Midweek Podcast.
Pastor Ryan joined as alwayswith Pastor Tim, and we are in
week two of our series in theshop.
And uh as we uh head into thethe Easter season, we're we're
putting the putting the car inthe shop, getting some some work
done, and uh trying to get ourhearts and our lives prepared
and aligned for Easter.
(00:48):
Um, and uh, you know, Tim onSunday, you were saying, you
know, we're expecting God to dosome big things uh in and
through us this Easter so thatum he can reveal his who he is
and then also our purpose andthe mission that he has for us.
And so this is uh this is a timefor us to kind of pump the
brakes a little bit as we headinto the Easter season and say,
Lord, where him where where do Ineed some some realignment uh
(01:13):
and and do this diagnostic onme?
Open me up.
Um and so that's what we'vetalked about in the first couple
weeks.
And um man, uh, you came outswinging.
SPEAKER_01 (01:24):
Well, let me tell you something.
Um Jesus made it clear inRevelation to the uh church of
Laodicea.
He said, You have lost yourfirst love.
I am, you're doing everythingcorrectly, you're living your
life, uh, but I'm not number oneanymore.
(01:44):
And I'm not saying I'm notnumber three or four, I'm near
the top, but I'm not number oneanymore.
And that is something that a uha Christian, you're gonna talk
about that this week, that thereason for spiritual disciplines
is to keep that in the forefrontof your mind.
If you continue your spiritualdisciplines, you'll you'll
(02:05):
realize when he slips down anotch and you can get him back
up.
That's right.
But uh once we once we make thatdecision to make him number one,
uh, we begin to align um withhim.
And that's that's the that'sthat's number one.
(02:25):
You can't get away from that.
Number two is to uh reconcileand uh clean up the tub.
That's the way I like to look atit.
When you're when you got um whenyou got some things in your life
where your relationships havehave hurt and they need to be
(02:46):
fixed, whether it's your faultor somebody else's fault, it's
like taking a shower and you gota good nothing's better than a
good hot, warm shower until youstart to feel the water coming
up above your ankles.
Like, what am I standing in?
Yeah, and what am I doing here?
And the little black flakes arestarting to float through there.
SPEAKER_04 (03:11):
That's best when you're at a hotel.
SPEAKER_01 (03:13):
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
But that's how a lot of peopleare living their Christian life.
They're um they're in a shower,they're trying to make God
number one, but they refuse toclean the clog.
And that clog is ourrelationship.
And once it goes, once you getthat cleaned out, you're free.
(03:34):
Uh I I know listen, this is howbad it is in our society today,
and not not just Christians, um,but it hurts Christians more
because it has a spiritualsignificance.
We are so wrapped up with ourhurt in relationships that none
of us ever get to take a fullbreath of air.
I don't know if you ever hurtyour ribs or not, but um you
(03:58):
fall on your ribs or you getpunched really good and uh you
bruise your ribs.
It is hard to suck in airwithout pain.
And that's kind of how it isliving with a uh relationship
that is unresolved.
unknown (04:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (04:11):
And uh that resolving is you, it's not them.
You can't make them be who youwant them to be, but you can
deal with them as God would dealwith them, and uh which is I
forgive you.
Uh, I need you to forgive mebecause I'm so mad at you, I
want to kill you.
(04:31):
But I want you to forgive me.
Well, I'm not gonna forgive you.
Well, that's fine.
I did what I need to do.
The drain is clear.
Now I can take a deep breathwithout any pain.
And um a lady was texting me um,I think it was Sunday night
after church, and and she said,I just wish everybody would just
(04:54):
do this one thing.
Life is so much freer on theother side.
Just every day there's not thatthing.
And uh it takes a while to workyour way through your
relationships and fix thosethings, and uh but once you do,
(05:15):
uh life is free.
Life is free, and you're gonnalet someone else um steal your
joy and your happiness.
It's hard to get joy andhappiness out of this life, and
you're gonna take the little bitthat you might get and toss it
in the ditch because of someoneelse.
It's time to stand up.
SPEAKER_04 (05:34):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (05:34):
You you brought it out on Sunday.
SPEAKER_04 (05:36):
Um and I I think this is where so many people
struggle, is we feel like theyneed to they need to pay.
They hurt me, they need to pay.
And if I don't hold on to thisthing, then who's ever gonna
make them pay?
Right.
Um what's so silly about that isthat person goes on living their
(06:00):
life and they seem like they'redoing just fine.
Right.
It's you.
It's you that every time theywalk in the room, you get it
angry, you you get mad.
You I mean, it doesn't matter,you could be having the best
time of your life.
They walk in the room and it'slike, well, not gonna have a
good time anymore.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
Right.
There's always something.
SPEAKER_04 (06:19):
Yeah, you brought it up in in the sermon, you know.
Even if if someone else justbrings up their name and God
forbid they talk about them in apositive way, right, you know,
and it's your whole day's ruinednow.
Like that, you think you'repunishing that person, and the
whole time all you're doing ispunishing yourself.
That that lady who texted you,she's 100% right.
(06:40):
It is free on the other side.
SPEAKER_01 (06:42):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (06:42):
And I'm not to keep just quoting your sermon here,
but you brought it up again onSunday, is we're not saying you
gotta be best friends with thesepeople, right?
We're not saying that what theydid to you was was right, um, or
that you don't need to haveboundaries in place uh to
prevent it from happening again.
You know, we're scripturedoesn't tell you just be stupid,
(07:03):
you know.
Um but it if you would just say,Lord, I I I'm I forgive them, I
choose to forgive them.
Um and man, you can start tomove forward in freedom, and
like you're saying, you canfinally have joy and happiness
in life again.
Um and when they walk in theroom, you might not go over and
(07:25):
give them a high five, you know,hey, so glad you're here, but
it's not gonna affect you.
SPEAKER_01 (07:30):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (07:30):
You're not gonna have that pit in your stomach,
that vial, you know, startrising up.
SPEAKER_01 (07:35):
And that's a process, but it's a process
that's easily won once you gothere the first time.
And um, and every time it comesback, you can just forgive.
And when Satan brings it up toyou, you can say, Oh, thanks for
reminding me that in this I actlike Jesus and I forgive him.
SPEAKER_04 (07:53):
I've encouraged people, you know, especially on
those ones when when someone'sreally hurt you, um, go home,
find a piece of paper, writedown, I forgave this person in
the date, and shove it in yourBible.
No one needs to see it, but it'sthis reminder on this date, I
already made that decision.
Because the enemy is, he's gonnabring this back up to you.
(08:14):
Someone's gonna say their name,you're gonna start feeling that
way again, and it's that thing.
And maybe you don't even writetheir name down because I'm not,
you know, if it was yourhusband, you know, right?
I'm not trying to get you tostart something accidentally,
just I forgave in the date, andyou'll know what that means.
SPEAKER_02 (08:31):
Right.
SPEAKER_04 (08:31):
Um, but it's that decision saying, no, no, I
already did this.
I wrote it down, I made thatcommitment with the Lord.
Devil, you you can't use thisagainst me.
You don't have permission to usethis against me.
Right.
There's no condemnation for me.
I'm in Christ Jesus.
I laid that down and forgave.
SPEAKER_01 (08:48):
And it's important to make that decision.
Which that's exactly the lasttwo sermons have been about
choosing, choosing to do thesethings.
And on the other side, if youhurt somebody, um, and this is
terrible.
I I see it all the time.
I I see pastors who come out ofprison who went in there for
(09:10):
awful things, and come out andstart preaching and laughing and
living in joy.
And I I'm like, Man, the peopleyou hurt.
And we don't know what's goingon in that guy's heart.
We don't know how much regretthat he has.
Um but now he has joy.
(09:32):
And sometimes the people thatyou've hurt see that and they
resent you even more.
So um you need to apologize tothe people that you've hurt.
Tell them you're sorry and makerestitution and get that out of
your way so they so they candeal with it.
And it's easier for them to dealwith it, I think, um when you
(09:54):
recognize you're wrong.
That's confession, right?
I I was wrong.
That no matter what thesituation was, you hit me first
or or you said that or you didthis, but what I did on my own
was wrong, and I am sorry.
SPEAKER_04 (10:15):
I was uh, you know, Joey and I we were talking about
the message this week, and um Iwas telling her, I was like,
man, I I've been trying to, youknow, just go back in and start
searching.
Lord, is there anybody that I'vehurt even unintentionally?
Um because you know, I try totreat people well.
(10:35):
Um I'm I'm one of those peoplethat there's not much I'm gonna
hold on to and I'm gonna put mystake in the ground, and I mean
I will crawl over myself beggingfor your forgiveness, you know.
Um but I'm like, that doesn'tmean over the years I haven't
hurt people, you know.
Even if I was trying to to dogood by them, that doesn't mean
(10:56):
they took what I did as thatway, you know.
Um, and so I was I was rackingmy brain that way.
Um, and I, you know, there'smaybe one or two that I'm like,
you know what, I might need toreach out to them this week, um,
just to make sure.
Um, and I don't know if theytook anything I said wrong, um,
but if they did, I I want toapologize.
(11:18):
Um, actually, Jared called meand um guys, you know, we all
had that kind of locker roombanter.
We're always picking on oneanother, you know.
Um, Jared had cut his finger anduh went to the doctor.
It was infected.
I'm like, oh, did they have tocut it off?
He goes, No, they're letting mekeep it.
And I was like, oh, he goes,what does that mean?
(11:41):
Um, but I was like, you knowwhat?
After Tim's sermon, Jared, Iprobably need to apologize for
everything I've ever said toyou.
So, Jared, this is my publicapology too.
Um, but then the other thingthat I was trying to think of is
when people, is there anybodythat when they walk in the room,
I have an emotional reaction toit negatively, you know?
(12:06):
Um, and again, I was like, man,there might be one.
And it's nobody in this church,so don't everyone's gonna be, is
it me?
No, it's none of you.
Um and again, I don't know ifthe person knows.
I've never treated themdifferently because of it,
anything like that.
But I'm like, Man, I don't know.
And this is and so I'd be thiswill be interesting to get your
(12:30):
perspective on this, maybe.
Um, because what I was talkingto Joy about, I'm like, I don't
know if this person even knows Igot this thing.
I've never never communicated itto them, you know, whatever.
But when they come around,there's a uh in me.
And I was like, do I do I needto call that person and and
(12:50):
apologize?
Or do I just give that to theLord?
Um, because I'm not trying to,again, I'm not trying to start
nothing that hasn't already beenstarted.
SPEAKER_01 (12:58):
That's important not to go into details about what
you're trying to uh unlessyou're the offender and you know
exactly what it is, um, ifyou've been offended, then they
don't need to know becausethey'll just justify it.
Um or they'll say, I'm glad Igot you then.
Depending on who theirpersonality is.
(13:18):
Uh uh maybe, but it's leadershipof the Holy Spirit.
Hey, Satan's smart dude, andanything time he can start
something, he'll start it.
And um he can get he can he cantake something that you've
already forgiven, and you'vemade that stand and you've
(13:38):
forgiven, and he'll come back.
I don't think you have.
I don't think you have.
And you need to stand in faiththat you have, uh, because he's
just trying to get you started.
Because he knows that as soon asyou say that to that person,
he's gonna do something else tomake you mad, you know.
And um, so there's people likethat out there.
I see um women and men, uh, whenyou go and say, Hey, you know, I
(14:04):
got mad at you, and um and theLord told me, and this is what I
always I add that to yourapology, the Lord told me I need
to say I'm sorry, so I'm sorry.
And um and they just act like,well, if that hurts you, you're
weak.
You know?
Right.
And um and you just need to logaway.
(14:26):
Um because they're they'relooking for justification.
You know, they don't want to bethe bad guy in a situation.
Nobody does.
If someone comes to you, you'regonna feel the same way.
But um let me tell yousomething.
This is this is an importantthing.
Uh, because some people haveoffended you and they don't even
know.
Right.
(14:46):
And and they might not evencare.
And so when you go to them, youdon't want to get in this
tussle.
You're what you're doing isgetting right with God by
getting right with them.
That's your that's your goalhere, right?
So getting into another tussleis, you know, and trying to
straighten this out to who'sright and who's wrong is is not
(15:09):
what we're trying to accomplish.
Right.
You want to live at peace withthem.
And the the Lord tells you to tosay this to them, then just say
it and drop it.
And I there's a lot of peoplewhen you go and say, Hey, I had
something against you, and theLord told me I need to tell you
I'm sorry, they're offended.
Well, I want to know what it is,you know.
(15:29):
Well, you you don't get to knowthis between me and the Lord.
See ya, and then you can't begratified by the fact that
they're upset.
It I mean, there's a lot to thisuh because when you're
misaligned in your relationship,it deforms you.
You know, you're you're not umsomething's messed up in you and
(15:53):
it it's changed everything.
So you you don't you don't wantto play with that, right?
You don't want to get out thehammer and put it in the forge
and try to straighten it out.
You let the Holy Spirit do that,or you're just gonna get messed
up.
I remember you came to me yearsago, um, and I appreciate this
(16:13):
in you, and said, Is theresomething between me and you?
And I was like, What are youtalking about?
And uh, I don't know, you'vebeen treating me kind of rough.
And uh and I was, and I was justbeing a grumpy old man.
And uh and I was like, Yeah, Iyeah, I am.
(16:36):
Sorry about that.
And uh so uh those things needto be fixed.
Now, if you would have nevercame to me, um you would have
thought that I was treating yourough this whole time.
Because I tell you what, if forfive years you act a certain way
(16:56):
to your wife or forget to do onething for your wife every week
for five years, and then you fixit, and five years later, when
you haven't forgotten that andyou forget it once, guess what
she thinks?
You always do that, right?
(17:16):
That's what happens.
So uh we have to be um we haveto fix these things, we gotta
clog that drain, uh get that uhclog out of the drain um so that
we can be free.
And I think I think we get uhmalformed and we and we build
these.
(17:37):
Um if you were in my uh D class,we build these um emotional
walls around this hurt that allthat's gotta be taken care of
for me to get right with thisperson, and that's not true.
You say the words and the HolySpirit does the rest.
SPEAKER_04 (17:57):
That's good.
I uh I was talking to um I don'twant to give any names uh or
details, but a person in thechurch um had a really rough uh
relationship with one of theirtheir close family members, um
just hadn't been treated verygood by them.
And uh after your sermon onSunday, they they sent a text to
(18:19):
him and said, Hey, I just wantto let you know um that that
you've hurt me, but but Iforgive you for doing it.
Um and the first text back said,uh, what did I do?
I didn't know I hurt you, butI'm sorry.
Um and they've had a chance tostart texting and communicating
(18:39):
back and forth for the firsttime in quite some time.
And she was like, It's the firsttime he's ever said sorry to
anybody that we know of, youknow.
Um, and and man, it just itbroke me because I'm like, this
is this is what people canexperience if we would get over
our pride, if we'd get over ouranger, our need for vengeance or
(19:00):
or whatever it is, and just say,Hey, I forgive you.
Um, restoration can happen, um,reconciliation can happen.
And it doesn't always happen.
No, it doesn't always happen,but it can, the possibilities
there, and what what Tim'ssaying here is so important.
We we remove that clog from thedrain, and now the Holy Spirit
can begin to move through usagain.
(19:22):
Um man, you read some somescripture on Sunday that was
rough.
I mean, if if you hold thisthing against your brother and
you won't forgive him, well, Godsays, I won't forgive you.
Well, hold on.
Right.
unknown (19:38):
What?
SPEAKER_04 (19:38):
Um I mean that this is this is serious stuff, and
and we we walk around with itlike it's like it's not a big
deal.
Right.
Um the church has heard me talkabout this a lot, but you know,
when I when I talk about sin, Ilike the way I describe it is
like it's playing with matchesin a puddle of gas.
Um we have no idea howdestructive sin is.
(20:01):
And so we're sitting here, we'restriking the match, striking the
match, striking the match.
One of those times the fumes aregonna build up and you're gonna
strike that match, and it'sgonna blow up everything.
This unforgiveness is strikingthat match over and over and
over again.
You're sitting there, and theHoly Spirit's like, listen, we
can't be in communication untilyou let this thing go.
SPEAKER_01 (20:24):
Right.
That's that's the scriptures Iread on Sunday.
And even this idea ofreconciliation, him reconciling
us so that we can reconcileothers.
It is crazy that that's ourresponsibility, but you don't
hear that preached anywhere.
Yeah, it's anywhere.
(20:45):
This is our responsibility.
And um, I didn't even get intothe scripture.
When I talk about forgiveness, Iusually use the you know, the
parable about the servant andthe king, and the king forgave
him millions of dollars, and hecouldn't forgive a couple of
pennies.
And at the end of that verse ofthat story, he says, So the king
(21:08):
delivered him over to thetorturers until he could pay
everything.
Now, when you're being tortured,it's kind of hard to earn money
to pay, right?
SPEAKER_04 (21:23):
Uh hey, I need to leave and go to work.
No, you just sit right here.
SPEAKER_01 (21:28):
And then what he says right after that, he says,
and this is what the Lord willdo to you who will not forgive
their brother.
Man, I tell you what, and it'ssomething that, man, we gloss
over and we don't think about,but uh, this is probably what's
clogging your drain.
If the Holy Spirit is not goingthrough you, these two things.
(21:49):
Now, what we're gonna talk aboutlater in the shop is how to
maintain these two things rightJesus number one, and then
loving people free.
Everyone and cleaning that clog.
Once you get that done, I'mtelling you, man, everything
changes.
Your freedom becomes you cantaste it.
(22:15):
You can breathe it in.
These things are what G Jesus,he was after them, and he talked
about it a lot.
You love your brother.
This is how they know your mind.
You know, talked about unity allthe time.
And once you're free from thisand you clean up your other
(22:37):
relationships, whatever it lookslike, and you get all that done,
you're gonna live in a way thatyou don't want to get messed up
again.
So when you offend somebody oryou're like, man, I shouldn't
have said that, you're on thephone right away.
Hey, I said that and I thought Iwas funny and I'm not.
That's that's my apology.
That's that's Tim Holtz.
If you have to say that, thenyou're following in my
(22:59):
footsteps.
Um you need to, you need you'llstart doing it right away
because you don't want to loseit.
Um it's uh it's actually just awonderful thing.
That there's a big problem herethat we need to talk about a
little bit because it's alwayswho's gonna pay for how bad
you've hurt me.
(23:20):
Somebody's gotta pay.
Let me tell you, brothers andsisters, and this is hard to
wrap your head around.
Jesus paid for that.
He paid for that.
When he hung on the cross, hewas thinking about that
situation that you were in.
And you can forgive because theprice has been paid in Jesus.
(23:44):
That's right.
And uh that person he may saysorry, he may come to Christ, he
may do all kinds of things andnot ever have to pay.
But someone paid, and his nameis Jesus.
SPEAKER_04 (24:00):
That's you know, reminds me of Jonah.
Um, when Jonah went to toNineveh and God ends up
forgiving those people.
We all think Jonah doesn't wantto go to Nineveh because he's
afraid of those monsters.
Right.
Um, and there might have beensome of that, but when he goes,
he preaches the worst sermonyou've ever heard in your life.
(24:21):
He's like, listen, y'all repentor God's gonna kill you.
And he did it reluctantly.
He's like, I don't even want tobe here.
But uh then he goes and he sitsup on that mountaintop to watch
them burn.
He's just waiting for God burnthem all up.
SPEAKER_01 (24:36):
He's that's my favorite book of the Bible.
SPEAKER_04 (24:38):
And when God doesn't, and the whole city
comes out and and repents.
Jonas ticked.
He said, I knew you weremerciful, I knew you would
forgive them if they did this.
That's what he's angry about.
And and guys, I know whensomeone hurts you, you want them
(24:59):
to pay.
You want them to feel not evenjust the pain that they cause
you, you want them to hurtworse.
Um and it's not right.
They should never have done it.
But what Tim just said here,man, it's so important.
Someone did pay.
Now, if they never confess Jesusas Lord, listen, he says
(25:20):
vengeance is mine.
And if they don't repent, Imean, who wants to, you know, be
in the hands of an angry God?
You know?
Um, but if they if they dorepent, he's gonna forgive them.
But that still means someonepaid because he paid for it.
They asked for his forgiveness,and because he already paid the
(25:43):
price, they're forgiven, justlike you are.
I it it's you know, you look atthe apostle Paul, you were
talking a little bit ago aboutyou know, these pastors who get
out of prison and find joy andall this stuff.
Man, I I can't imagine.
We all look up to Paul and we'relike, man, if I can only be like
Paul.
(26:04):
Yeah, we well, Paul is amurderer, you know, like
rounding up Christians, lockingthem in jail, destroying
families and communities.
He was a terror, people wereterrified when Paul came around.
They're like, Everybody go hide.
We don't want to be around thisguy.
And he said, Man, out of out ofall the sinners, I'm the worst.
(26:24):
Yeah, that's how Paul describedhimself.
I'm I'm the worst of them.
And and yet he was able to findthat forgiveness through through
Christ.
Um, Jesus paid for it, you know,and and he's gonna do that for
you, but he'll do it for foryour enemy too.
SPEAKER_01 (26:42):
Yeah.
And you know, I I've said thisbefore: the most godly thing
that you can do in this life isto forgive, is to follow Jesus
into forgiveness.
Listen, when you when you can'tforgive or you have
unforgiveness in your heart, youget a spiritual numbness because
your communication uh with theHoly Spirit um dries up.
(27:07):
You get a defensive identity,like a victimhood, and you're
just waiting for someone totreat you like that one person
did.
And then you uh eventually,because you're not hearing from
the Holy Spirit anymore, you youget into this uh
performance-based life, youknow, where you're trying to be
(27:28):
good enough uh for the Lord,even though you know in your
head that that's not how itworks.
And then in life itself, becauseGod has turned you over to the
torturers and you don't evenknow it, all of your
relationships start sufferingbecause of this one.
(27:49):
Scripture says that a um bitterroot grows up and affects
everyone around them.
And um it doesn't matter, youcan move away from that person,
you can do whatever.
But we're talking a one-time uhhumiliating humbleness, one time
(28:12):
uh facing of whatever this thingis for the rest of your life of
being free.
And uh it's worth it.
It's worth it.
Not most importantly becauseyour relationship with God is
unclogged, um, but also for thefreedom it brings.
SPEAKER_04 (28:32):
Years ago I saw uh I want to say it might have been
Stephen Furtick down atelevation.
He was uh preaching this sermon,and I think he called it the
prison of a fence.
Um and he's got this little youknow planner's box thing on
stage, probably you know, eightfeet long, something like that.
And he has just planks that goto a fence, and so he starts
(28:56):
talking about you know using afence with the physical
representation of a fence, andso he's using these planks and
he starts listing off theseoffenses and he shoves it into
this box, and then he talksabout another one and he shoves
it into the box, and all of asudden he's standing completely
behind, you know, six, eightfoot, ten-foot fence.
(29:19):
Um congregation can't even seehim preaching anymore.
You know, there's a fencebetween him and them, and man,
that visual visualrepresentation of like, man,
this is this is what a fencedoes to us is it builds this
fence that blocks us off fromour communication and our line
with God and with one another sothat we become isolated and
(29:40):
alone, um, standing on the otherside of that fence all by
ourselves.
Um, this is this is importantstuff.
And I love what you said there.
One moment of humbling orhumility of just taking it on
the chin and saying, Man, willyou forgive me?
Or man, I'm I'm so sorry.
(30:00):
Um, or I forgive you is worth itfor a life of freedom.
SPEAKER_01 (30:05):
Amen.
Amen.
See, the reason you're resistingthis um is not because of how
wrong they are, it's because ofuh it's because of pride and um
the Lord resists pride andyou're getting yourself in this
circle of I'm not gonna do it,um, because it'll embarrass me.
(30:28):
I'm not gonna do it becausethey're the one that was wrong.
It becomes this um circle thatyou can't get out of.
And you build those walls up,and then everybody that you love
has to deal with those walls.
And um you see it generational,if you're mad at your dad, guess
(30:49):
who else is mad at your dad?
Maybe not your wife, but yourkids will be.
They'll take an offense for youand they'll build a fence and
their kids will do the samething.
And it doesn't ever stay,bitterness never just stays in
(31:10):
one place.
And I think sometimes we thinkthis is all about me and I can
do um it's not gonna affectanybody else.
I'm not gonna let this go.
But I I tell you, the longer youkeep it, the more you'll fall in
love with it.
(31:30):
Some people love their hurt andand they can't separate
themselves from it anymore.
And that is something that theLord wants to free you from.
And uh so that goes back not tojust uh in the shop number two,
which is your horizontalrelationships to those people
(31:50):
around you, it goes back to inthe shop number one, which is
who's your priority.
And if God's your priority, youcan't love your hurt more than
you love him.
And you've gotta let it go.
He has to be number one.
(32:11):
And he will give you thespiritual power to forgive.
He absolutely will.
Because he wants to make youlike him and you're growing in
sanctification every day.
So if you're gonna be like him,you're gonna forgive.
(32:31):
I know this is heavy, and I knowa lot of you you don't know what
they did, and the truth is Idon't want to know.
But I know that you have toforgive.
And sometimes when you'repraying, um that person might be
gone.
They might have already passedon, and or you have no access to
(32:54):
that person, you can stillforgive.
You can forgive, and like Ryansaid, write it down uh and just
say, God, this is what I'm gonnado.
In Jesus' name, I forgive thisperson, write it down, and then
you can go back to that everytime that hurt comes back up.
(33:15):
But the Holy Spirit wants tohelp you in an in a way that's
as easy as possible so that youcan give up your hurt.
And when your vertical or yourhorizontal relationship, you got
this hurt, um, it affects yourspiritual sooner or later.
(33:38):
Listen to me, this is this isawful, but it happens every day.
Your hurt becomes more importantthan him.
And then your hurt's number onein your life and not God.
And so um all I can say isshowers where the bathtub's
(34:01):
filling up, it's just amiserable place, miserable place
to be.
And um I I just want toencourage you to step out of
that tub, get that Draeno orwhatever, and get that clog
free.
Just do this one thing um asmuch as it hurts your pride to
(34:22):
do it, and then be free.
Be free.
SPEAKER_04 (34:26):
Yeah.
Um Jesus, man, he he told usthis.
And again, I think you read theverse this past week or the week
before, and I think I used it acouple weeks ago.
Um, most important command isthis love God and love people.
It all comes back.
He says, all the law, all theprophets, everything comes back
to these two things.
And and you said this earlier: if we would get these two things (34:48):
undefined
right, the rest of followingJesus is really just about
obedience.
It's that maintenance thing ofstaying in step with him, right?
Abiding in him, abiding in him,yeah.
These are the things that buildthe wall, these are the things
that put hindrance between youand God.
(35:10):
Um, where he says, I listen,until you take care of this, I'm
I can't even hear you.
Um, man, what an awfulrelationship to be in with God,
um, where he can't even listento your prayers because you
won't forgive, you know?
Um, and so it all comes back tothis.
If I love him and I'll put himfirst, and if I love people,
(35:32):
meaning I'll forgive them, I'mI'm not gonna allow this thing
to stand between us.
Um I'm gonna love him the waythat I love myself, the way that
I would want you to forgive meif I wronged you, I'm gonna do
that.
Then man, the your Christianlife becomes free.
And we're gonna talk aboutspiritual disciplines and all
this stuff coming up on Sunday.
(35:52):
But man, you you you're free todo it.
And those things begin to helpyou take those steps to towards
Jesus.
Um but until until you're doingthis, man, it's it's like
running on a hamster wheel, youknow, and then you're coming to
church, you're doing all thisstuff, and you feel like you're
not getting anywhere, you'renot.
(36:13):
You know, the tub's filling up.
Um, you gotta, you gotta letthese things go.
And it it's loving God andloving people.
SPEAKER_01 (36:22):
Um and I don't I don't know how to get your
priority vested here because wesee people who are addicted to
drugs, alcohol, porn, you know,whatever, whatever it is, and
you're like, man, you know, thisis the most important sin that I
have, and I I really need toconcentrate on this.
(36:42):
No, listen to me.
If you get number one right,then your addiction's in
trouble.
Number one, God is my number onepriority.
I seek first the kingdom of God.
Your addictions will fall underthat if you can get that fixed.
Don't worry about those.
Because when you love Jesus asmuch as a forgiven sinner can,
(37:04):
then those addictions won't beworth it to you.
So I'm not gonna let it standbetween me and him.
I love him too much.
Just charge forward on numberone, he's gonna be my priority.
And number two, fix yourrelationships.
Guys, this is where it's at.
Now let me clarify all thisbecause we've talked about
(37:25):
forgiveness, reconciliation, andrestitution.
Let me just march it down one,two, three.
First, forgiveness.
It is commanded.
You always are required toforgive.
Well, what if they're not sorry?
It doesn't matter.
You still have to forgive.
(37:47):
Okay.
And then we go to number two,reconciliation.
This is the ideal that, but itrequires both parties to come
together and and settle.
And that's what we want.
But it might not happen.
And number three, restitution.
(38:08):
As far as it depends on you,Paul said.
So you have to takeresponsibility for your side.
SPEAKER_04 (38:17):
And so Tim, I want them to say they're sorry.
SPEAKER_01 (38:20):
I know, I know.
But listen, if they never do,you can be free.
Yep.
You can be free.
SPEAKER_04 (38:29):
This is so important, man.
Um, because it you you you'reholding the key to your own
prison, you know?
Um as much as it depends on you,which means you're not
responsible for how they theytake your apology.
Um, you're you're notresponsible for how they react
to it, anything.
(38:50):
But you can say, hey, you knowwhat?
I I think what I what I saidlast week, um, that might have
hurt you.
Um and I and I'm sorry.
Would you forgive me?
And like you said earlier, theymight say, No, no, I'm still mad
at it, mad about it, and I wantto punch you in the face.
Hey, I and again, I'm I'm sorrythat that I did it, that I said
(39:12):
it.
I wish I could take it back.
I know I can't, but uh, I hopeone day you'll you'll be able to
forgive me.
And and you let let yourself outand you've unclogged that drain.
Um, you know, I in all this,we're not trying to give you
permission to go and uh hurtpeople and then just hey, I'm
sorry, hey, I'm sorry.
(39:32):
You know, yeah.
Um actions speak louder thanwords.
Um you have to to provesometimes that your repentance
to people by changing how youlive.
Don't don't go on hurting peopleand just saying, hey, I said I'm
sorry and you're a Christian,you have to forgive me.
No, you're just a stinking jerk,man.
Stop it.
Yeah.
(39:53):
But if you if you can go tothose people and apologize and
ask for their forgiveness orstart to forgive those people,
man, you you unlock that thatthing.
And so um, yeah, reconciliation,that's ideal.
We'd love for that to happen.
I I wish I could sit here andpromise you that your
relationship with your with yourkids or with your mom or dad or
(40:13):
or whoever is going to be fixed.
I don't know that it will be,but I know that you are you hold
the key um to unclogging thisdrain, and and you can be in
tune with God.
Um, and you can have access toHis His Spirit, His power in
your life.
Um, to take these steps, youjust gotta forgive first.
SPEAKER_01 (40:36):
Yeah.
God always resists the proud.
Forgiveness changes your posturefrom pride to humility.
Repentance changes yourbehavior, and restitution proves
that it happened.
unknown (40:49):
Yep.
SPEAKER_01 (40:50):
You know, uh, restitution is where your
humility becomes visible topeople.
So pride says they started it.
Pride says, I'll forgive, but Iwon't initiate.
They have to come and saythey're sorry.
And pride says, time will fixit, I'll forget it.
Uh that's just your pridetalking.
(41:12):
Fix it.
Fix it.
You don't listen, you're missingout every day that you hang on
to this.
You're missing out on joy,you're missing out on sleep,
less stress, um, uh bitterness,a bitter heart.
Even doctors will tell you, youneed to go see a therapist.
You got to get rid of this.
You know, uh, you're in herebecause your foot hurts, and and
(41:36):
all you can talk about is whatyour dad did to you.
You need to go see a therapistand get this straight.
What you need to do is go to theHoly Spirit and say, God, help
me resolve this and uh let meforgive.
Although a therapist is a goodgood idea too.
SPEAKER_04 (41:52):
What I love about the passage you read in Matthew
is we would expect it to say,you know, if you're at the altar
and you realize you haveunforgiveness, um, go apologize.
Um, tell them you're sorry,whatever.
Tell them you forgive them, thencome back.
When it says if you know someonehas something against you, and
(42:13):
man, that that's that's adifferent conversation because
now I'm I'm the aggressor inthis, and we always we want to
look at how people have hurt me.
Um, and Jesus saying, No, I needyou to take a look and examine
how have you hurt other people.
Um, and like I said, sometimesthat's intentionally.
We want them to to hurt orwhatever.
(42:33):
We we're trying to get back atthem.
Sometimes it's unintentional,you know.
We just, man, I I joke, youknow, I tell jokes.
I'm I'm sarcastic.
Um, that's mine.
I love sarcasm.
And uh, we read a book one timeand says, you need to get
sarcasm out of your house.
And I was like, this book sucks.
I'm not reading it.
(42:54):
Um, love it.
But uh man, we we need to lookand say, man, where where have I
where have I hurt people?
Man, this is this is anopportunity, um, especially as
we head into Easter.
You said it on Sunday.
We get to be most like Jesus inthis in this way.
Absolutely.
Um, and man, I I even loved, Idon't know if you even said it
(43:14):
in both services.
I know I think it was servicetwo.
Um, but you said, man, anytimethe devil brings it up, you just
get to say, Hey, thanks forreminding me.
I get to be like Jesus here.
SPEAKER_02 (43:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04 (43:27):
Um, how powerful is that?
You know, there is nothing moreChrist-like that we can do than
forgive.
Um, and the bigger they hurtyou, the more Christ-like you
can be.
Right.
You know, um, when you look andyou realize all the things that
God has has forgiven you for.
Um, every time you let themdown, every time you you swore
(43:50):
that you weren't going to pickthat thing back up, but you
picked it back up when you saidthat you were gonna start doing
it and you never started doingit.
Um All those things and Christsaid, Man, I forgive you for all
of it.
Um and then you get to turnaround and say, Man, I forgive
you.
And this is this is why when youknow, was it Peter that came up
(44:13):
and asked Jesus, how many timesshould I forgive my brother who
sins against me?
Um what did he say, three times?
Should I forgive him threetimes?
He had to be thinking, that'sthat's a lot, you know, like if
someone hurts me, all right, Iforgive you.
You come and do it again, okay,but I'll forgive you.
By the third time, you're like,okay, this is a pattern.
(44:35):
I'm not gonna keep forgivingyou.
And Jesus looks at him and says,Nah, not three times.
Not seven times, but seventytimes seven.
This infinite supply offorgiveness.
This is how important this is toJesus.
SPEAKER_01 (44:51):
Um you can take that and start counting for the 400
times.
SPEAKER_03 (44:56):
Seven times 70.
Okay, hold on one.
Two.
We're gonna get thereeventually.
SPEAKER_01 (45:02):
So if they had uh offend you 491 times, then that
491st time you don't have toforgive.
Just tell God Pastor Tim saidthat.
SPEAKER_04 (45:15):
I've done it 490 times now.
It's you forgive them.
Okay, I'm done.
SPEAKER_01 (45:20):
So I think we need to kind of identify um who we're
talking about here.
Uh, number one is who do Irehearse conversations about in
my head?
SPEAKER_04 (45:31):
That can that can tell you Man, if I saw them, I
would have told them I shouldhave said.
SPEAKER_01 (45:36):
Or, you know, it might be your boss, and you
might have said, I should havesaid this, or I should have said
that.
Yep.
Um whose name changes myemotional temperature?
If you just said a person's nameand and it just changes your uh
mood.
SPEAKER_04 (45:57):
Heart starts to beat a little faster, the palms get a
little sweaty.
SPEAKER_01 (46:02):
Or you get a little sadder or um grumpy.
Um so that's number two.
Who changes my emotionaltemperature?
Number three, when I'm waitingfor someone else to initiate uh
initiate, who am I waiting toinitiate the fix of this
(46:24):
situation?
Um that's the person you need togo to.
You know, and don't go and say,look, I've been waiting for you
to come and say you're sorry,but you suck, so you never did
that.
I want you to know I forgiveyou.
That's not what I'm talkingabout.
SPEAKER_04 (46:41):
But um You wouldn't do what you were supposed to, so
now I have to be the biggerperson and come over here.
SPEAKER_01 (46:48):
So, and um Yeah, some that might work for some
people, but listen, um it's ifthere's a person like that
you're waiting to say they'resorry, and um then you need to
go.
You need to go.
And number four, whatrestitution would humility
(47:11):
require?
What what can you do to sayyou're sorry?
I I tell you what, I've had tostand up in front of church
because I talked about someonein front of church and used them
for an example and it hurt theirfeelings.
And I've had to get up in frontof the whole church and say,
that was wrong, and I am sorry,and I have to do it in front of
(47:33):
everybody because I brought youall in on this.
SPEAKER_04 (47:35):
Yeah, and and you want to be the person with the
microphone, right?
Yeah.
Sometimes it's better to justsit out there in the seat.
Right.
Right.
SPEAKER_01 (47:45):
No, let me speak.
No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_03 (47:47):
Wait.
SPEAKER_01 (47:49):
Uh so I I just want you to uh we're with you in this
because uh we want you to livein freedom.
That's right.
We want you to be free.
And uh and once you get pastthis um who's number one, and
then I'm gonna clean up uh myrelationships, the Christian
(48:12):
life becomes so fascinating andfull and free.
And uh, yeah, well, I got thisaddiction, I got this thing.
Well, the Lord's gonna work onthat as he grows and sanctifies
you, sanctifies you.
But God came to reconcilereconcile humankind, mankind to
himself, so that humanity canreconcile humanity.
SPEAKER_04 (48:37):
You have been given the ministry of reconciliation.
SPEAKER_01 (48:39):
And that is that is who we are.
You're looking for an identity,that this is your identity.
You're a uh reconciliator forJesus, and that's what it's all
about.
So um get that done around youand encourage other people to do
it too.
SPEAKER_04 (48:55):
And here's here's our encouragement as we kind of
wrap this thing up today.
Um, one, you need to startsmall.
Uh just just start praying,Lord.
Um who do who do I need to toapologize to or who do I need to
forgive?
And um you know, Lord's gonnabring people to your mind and
(49:16):
you know, maybe start with theeasiest one, right?
Build up some courage.
Uh he'll he'll help you get tothat that one, you know, that
that's really bothering you.
Um, but start small, startsincere.
Uh, like I said, this isn'tabout just, hey, I'm sorry, and
then I'm gonna keep going ondoing the same thing.
You know, we need to be sincerein this.
(49:37):
Um, and finally start this week.
Quit waiting, quit postponingthis thing.
It is clogging the drain, it ispreventing the Holy Spirit from
flowing through your life.
Um, and and God says, I listen,until you take care of this, I I
can't hear you.
We need to start this week.
And so um, I'm encouraged, likeI said, Joy and I, we've already
(50:00):
been talking about it, rackingour brains.
Who is it that I need toapologize to?
Who is it that I need toforgive?
Um, you got people texting youabout it.
Uh, I talked to that personyesterday who's already uh begun
the process, and and it seemslike maybe some reconciliation
is starting to happen there.
Praise the Lord for that.
Amen.
Um quit waiting.
Start this week.
SPEAKER_01 (50:21):
Easter is on the way.
Right.
We think it's all about them,but listen, this alignment is
not about them, it's about whoyou are becoming.
That's right.
When you get your relationshipsright, prayer flows, worship
deepens, peace increases,spiritual power strengthens.
(50:43):
This is how you want to live.
Absolutely.
You don't want to live waitingfor somebody else to make you
happy.
So let's do it.
Pray for us, Ryan.
SPEAKER_04 (50:51):
Well, you know what?
Um coming up, unless anythingchanges, uh, this this Monday
night, your discovery class isyou will be like him.
And we're talking about who whoyou're becoming and what it
means to be like Jesus.
You need to come to thatdiscovery class next Monday and
learn what it means for us to belike him.
That's the promise.
One day we'll see him face toface.
(51:13):
We're gonna be just like him,Scripture says.
So what an amazing truth.
Father, we thank you so much foryour word.
Lord, we thank you even forthese tough passages that uh,
man, they punch us right in themouth.
Um, but Lord, they they're thethings that that provide freedom
in our life.
And uh Father, it does.
Our our worship and our prayerbegins to deepen the peace that
(51:34):
that we experience, uh begins tosurpass all understanding.
Um and Lord, the power that wehave to say no to sin and yes to
you begins to strengthen.
Uh our faith is emboldened.
And so, Father, I pray that wewould not let anything stand
between making you number oneand loving people the way that
(51:54):
you love them.
Um Lord, just the way that welove ourselves.
And most of us we love ourselvesa lot.
And so, Father, help us to startsmall, to start sincere, to
start this week doing thesethings: forgiving, asking for
forgiveness.
Let us look and represent you inthe world.
(52:14):
Um, because we know that we aremost like you and we choose to
forgive.
In Jesus' name.
unknown (52:19):
Amen.
SPEAKER_04 (52:20):
Amen and amen.
SPEAKER_00 (52:21):
Thanks again for joining us for this episode of
the Midweek Podcast.
We'd love to hear from you.
Let us know how God is usingthis resource in your life or
send any podcast questions ortopic ideas to podcast at a
freshwind.org.
If you would like to supportthis ministry financially and
help us continue offering newresources that equip you to
discover more in Christ, simplytext any amount to the number
(52:44):
84321.
We're so grateful for yoursupport.
Make sure to tune in next weekfor a brand new episode of the
Midweek Podcast.
Be blessed and have a greatweek.
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