A Gay and A NonGay

A Gay and A NonGay

In a time where we're all threatened by a rhetoric of hate from the people in power; A Gay And A NonGay challenges our differences. No matter who you are, or what you're into, gay's and nongay's can & should be friends. 'Highly Recommended' Guardian 'One of the most fundamentally kind and funny podcasts in Britain' RadioTimes 'A hilarious take on love, friendship and sex' TimeOut An independent podcast from James Barr (@imjamesbarr) and Dan Hudson (@DanHudson). Find us on Insta, TikTok, Twitter and Facebook @gaynongay Get bonus content on Patreon, with our super exclusive fan feed

Episodes

Open Relationships, Egg Shortages and Adventures Abroad

March 12, 2025 • 19 mins
It's another week of A Gay And A NonGay and we're got a bunch of catching up to do! James has just returned from Australia, whilst Dan has returned from New York... we find out all about what they have been getting up to and their views on the political climate under President Trump. What is the potential impacts on the cuts to DEI initiatives and the rights of the LGBTQ+ community? We also tackle a listener's question about the pr...
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Let's Talk About Alice with Caroline Litman

March 5, 2025 • 39 mins
Trigger Warning: This episode contains multiple mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts as well as themes that some listeners may find triggering. In many ways, Caroline Litman was the type of supportive Mum that any trans child could dream to have. She was supportive of her daughter, Alice, who was on the waiting list for gender affirming care. Alice was on the waiting list for a gender identity clinic appointment for 1,023 day...
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Sex Positivity... Or Has It All Gone Too Far?

February 26, 2025 • 24 mins
She's the name on everybody's lips... but what does the rise of Bonnie Blue tell us about societal double standards? In a society that is increasingly sex positive, it seems that opinions differ amongst the A Gay And A NonGay community. Dan (representing the NonGays) feels like maybe this has all gone too far... whilst James (representing the Gays) believes that the outrage exposes some hypocrisy in society. Through-out the debate,...
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Revisiting Jack Rooke Live At Edinburgh Fringe

February 19, 2025 • 20 mins
We're throwing it back this week on A Gay And A NonGay as we revisit James & Dan's episode with Jack Rook, from Channel 4's Big Boys. Recorded live at Edinburgh Fringe in 2019, James and Dan chat all about the acclaimed TV show, plus they talk about dealing with homophobia at school, overcoming internalised shame, redefining mental health within the queer community and the dynamics of their own identities. Jack also highlights the ...
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They're A Massive Gay! But What Does That Mean?

February 12, 2025 • 29 mins
Don't worry, we haven't just time travelled back to 2021! This week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay is recorded virtually... but Dan & James are still the same (even if they do speak over each other a bit). Once the hilarious technical bits get ironed out, we're asking: What makes you a 'massive gay'? We're digging into the stereotypes found in everyday conversations and debunking them, one gay and nongay at a time. Plus, James and...
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Can Straight Men Do Drag? with Holly Stars

February 5, 2025 • 20 mins
Drag queen, stand-up comic and author Holly Stars is this weeks guest on A Gay And A NonGay! Ever wondered what it takes to conquer the allusive worlds of both drag and comedy? Holly joins James and Dan to share her experiences in both worlds! She also shares her thoughts about why musicals are so alluring to queer communities and how she brings all of this into her smash-hit new drag murder mystery Death Drop! Plus - do straight p...
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Who Should Propose? The Great Debate

January 29, 2025 • 16 mins
We're talking all things marriage proposals and gay weddings on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay! So... who should propose? James and Dan are breaking down the traditional roles expected in relationships and challenging the patriarchal norms. Plus, what gets James U-turning on his thoughts about weddings? Towards the end of the episode, we take a look at body shaming as we try to embrace our best lives in 2020 Thrive. Fo...
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You Hear That? It's Straight Men Being Silent...

January 22, 2025 • 26 mins
Would you ever go gay for hay? Kicking off this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan consider whether pretending to be gay to secure a roof on your head is... ethical? It's kind of complicated. As we dive deeper into the episode, we go into the big topic of straight men's silence on prominent cases of women's abuse, particularly the trial of Gisèle Pelicot. James passionately argues for the responsibility of straight ...
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Maybe God... Made Us This Way?

January 15, 2025 • 13 mins
This week is just a quick check-in with our A Gay And A NonGay community as James Barr has an announcement about down under (not like that!), James and Dan reveal the results of a poll about sexual preferences and we chat about negative comments from TikTok! Think of this as a brisk affair lasting just over 8 minutes... you feel light and giddy at the end, and can't wait to come back for more. Follow A Gay & A NonGay TikTok: @gay...
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Keighley Cougars: The Rainbow-Roaring Rugby Club with Ryan O’Neill & Kaue Garcia

January 8, 2025 • 27 mins
When Ryan O’Neill & Kaue Garcia bought their beloved local rugby club the Keighley Cougars in 2018, they never expected the backlash that would come. Having saved the club from bankruptcy, and making it the only openly LGBTQ-owned professional sports club outside of the US, they sought to make it an inclusive, LGBTQ-friendly space, putting diversity at the heart of the club. On this episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan meet...
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What's Gay and What's Not?

January 1, 2025 • 22 mins
Happy New Year! We're kicking off 2025 how we meant to go on... with an insightful debate around the perceptions of behaviours and items labelled as 'gay' by society. Oh, we're also talking New Years Resolutions (and reflecting on past resolutions) of course! But, seriously, is 2025 the year where people will finally stop calling things 'gay'? Maybe we'll even dismantle societal stereotypes on masculinity and... maybe you'll no lon...
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Elliot Page, Tia Kofi, Jamie Dornan + More! (Best of the Guests 2024)

December 25, 2024 • 27 mins
It's time! Christmas Day has come and we're serving you some of our finest moments from 2024... all in one neat package, waiting underneath the tree. On topics ranging from coming out to queer joy, beating stereotypes and non-binary identity, we hear from Drag Race winner Tia Kofi, Golden Globe nominee Richard Gadd, Eurovian winner Nemo, Joel Creasey, Reuben Kaye and, of course, Dan's doppelganger Jamie Dornan as James and Dan wrap...
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Christmas If You're Queer

December 20, 2024 • 26 mins
It's so nearly Christmas... but what does that mean if you're queer? On this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are exploring issues around chosen families and setting boundaries which often come up around this time of year for queer people. How do you ensure your loved ones are respectful during this time of festive cheer? And how much should you care about society's reaction to your supposed non-conformity? All o...
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Ageing Twinks & Gay Cruises with Joe Sutherland

December 11, 2024 • 24 mins
Do you have an imagined feud with a celebrity? Well, this weeks guest certainly has a story to tell! James and Dan are joined by comedian Joe Sutherland for a rousing edition of A Gay And A NonGay. The trio talk about ageing in the gay community (and the concept of 'twink death') and the societal changes impacting how older LGBTQ+ individuals are perceived. How deep does the generational divide go? Plus, Joe shares his experience o...
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Getting Into The Holiday Spirit!

December 4, 2024 • 23 mins
It's officially the holiday season and we're delving into some of our holiday traditions (and stresses) and how they differ between gays and, well, nongays. From musical theatre (which is surely an LGBTQ+ staple?!) to family expectations, how do the holidays differ based on your sexuality? Plus, following on the internet trend, Dan contemplates organizing a Jamie Dornan lookalike competition, while James reflects on the pressures o...
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Are Straight People A Hoax?

November 27, 2024 • 14 mins
Do you agree with Bob The Drag Queen that straight people are a hoax? On this weeks episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are unpicking the societal constructs around heterosexuality and accepting fluidity in sexual preferences. Whilst James supports Bob's viewpoint, Dan has a more historical perspective on human sexuality and the conversation expands to the nuances of bisexuality and asexuality, and the subconscious influen...
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Feeling Like A Spare In Your Relationship?

November 20, 2024 • 24 mins
This episode isn't about that Prince Harry memoir - no, this week on A Gay And A NonGay we're talking about the concept of 'spares' in relationship. A 'spare' is much like a plastic bag drifting through the wind: having a back-up partner ready in case your plastic bag, well, breaks. James and Dan are debating the ethics around 'spares' in relationships and also diving into the controversy surround the enhanced measures for straight...
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Shoe Sizes, Bed Sharing & Overhead Lighting

November 13, 2024 • 28 mins
Do you know your shoe size? Well, before we start outrage... on this week's episode of A Gay And A NonGay, James and Dan are tackling some of the top-tier stereotypes that are thrusted upon the community. After all, what do straight men and gay women have in common? Apparently they don't know their own shoe size! Also on this weeks episode: When is it alright to share a bed with your friend? From the complexities of sharing beds wi...
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The Triumphant Journey of Tia Kofi

November 6, 2024 • 30 mins
When it comes to the Drag world... you don't get much better than the current Queen of the Mothertucking World, Tia Kofi! Having recently won RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs The World Tia has been using their reign to shine a spotlight on important matters - from LGBTQ+ rights to the queerest event of the year (other than Pride), the Eurovision Song Contest, where she hosted the Turquoise Carpet. Tia joins James and Dan for an eye-openin...
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We're Award Winners! (And A Long Story)

October 30, 2024 • 18 mins
We're award winners! A Gay And A NonGay recently won the Independent Podcast Award for Best Sex, Love & Relationships and have been shortlisted at the British Podcast Awards! In this weeks episode, James and Dan talk about the importance of awards and Dan tells a not-convoluted story about how he missed the awards! Elsewhere in the episode, they talk about the idea of gay wrestling to determine sexual roles. From 'gay spacho' to 'h...
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