June 30, 2026 • 15 mins
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Magic is back from a short break to address a listener question from Tom about how to handle stress and pressure when you feel overwhelmed and too busy. Magic will discuss the differences between acute stress and chronic stress and offer some suggestions about what can be done about it, including building yourself some buffer time into your schedule.
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Speaker 8 (00:42):
Welcome back to A Magical Life.
I'm your host, Magic Barclay,and I'm sorry, listeners, I've
been missing for a few monthsnow, and I really do apologize
because my life has beenstressful, and that's exactly
what we're going to be talkingabout today.
I actually have a listenerquestion from a very dear friend
(01:04):
of mine, Tom, and Tom wants someanswers around stress.
And I'll first of all answerTom's question and then lead
into why I've abandoned you fora couple of months.
So again, my apologies.
Tom says If stress is brought onby too many things happening at
(01:28):
once and you don't feel like youhave enough time, for example,
you need to be somewhere, but,your car needs to go to the
mechanics, maybe you've got apunctured tire that needs
fixing, or, you know, this thendelays your day, and then all of
a sudden you have a client, afriend, a family member needing
your help urgently, and theywant you to come and help, but
(01:50):
you can't because you, you gotno way of getting there.
And you already have plans inthe evening that need to get
sorted and a place and time, butyour whole day feels out of
whack, and your schedule's gonecrazy.
Then for the next day, you havesomething on, but all of a
sudden you get two or threedifferent things thrown at you,
(02:12):
which all need to get sorted.
This all adds to stress andpressure and takes up your time.
Well, Tom, yes, it does, andthat's just happened to me.
So let's take this piece bypiece.
Let's look at what stress does.
Now, we have two types ofstress.
(02:32):
We have acute stress and chronicstress.
Now, when you get a flat tire oryour car breaks down, that's
acute stress.
Your diary is thrown into chaos,acute stress.
If your diary is continually inchaos and this is just the
(02:53):
status quo, that's chronicstress.
So what do you do about stress?
First of all, you need to knowthat you don't live there,
right?
This is temporary, and thingswill work out.
Maybe you need to make somechanges.
Maybe you need to step back froma couple of things, as I have,
(03:16):
I'm so sorry again, from thepodcast.
But in the time that you areunder this acute stress, things
can be spiraling out of controlphysically and mentally, and
it's very hard to step back atthat moment and go,"Okay, well,
there's nothing I can do aboutmy flat tire or my broken down
(03:39):
car." But there actually is.
So in a situation like that,happens to everyone, so you call
the client or you call thefriend or family member and you
say,"Listen, this is what'shappened.
So sorry.
Let's get together when I'm allon board about this.
I know your issue is urgent, butI'm no good right now.
(04:04):
Let me sort my car out.
Let me sort whatever it is out,and in the background, I'm going
to be working on this, and assoon as I can, I'll sort it for
you." Okay?
Maybe that's not going to fixeverything because their issue
is urgent, but at the end of theday, they've probably had a flat
(04:25):
tire or a broken down car orsomething happen somewhere along
the way, so they'll understand.
You can only do what you can do.
You can only control what youcan control.
What happens around you, thethings that happen to you are
sometimes completely out of yourcontrol.
Now, what happens when someoneneeds you to be somewhere?
(04:47):
That was the other part of this,this question from Tom.
Someone needs you and, you know,you've already got plans and
then your whole day is out ofwhack, your schedule goes crazy,
and then, you know, there's aflow on effect for the next few
days.
Well, again, it comes down towhat can you do right now?
(05:10):
Sometimes reaching out to peopleand saying,"I am so sorry that I
am human, but we're all humanand this is what happens," just
reminding them that helps.
What you can do with yourschedule is maybe put some
buffers in your schedule so thatyou've got time to use to make
(05:32):
up for things that don't goright.
I do this in my own diary now,certainly after the past couple
of months.
I actually put buffer times inmy schedule so that if I'm
running late with a client or ifsomething happens with my
family, I know there's an hour,maybe an hour and a half each
day that I can utilize to catchback up, to get back on track.
(05:59):
And if I don't use that time, itbecomes me time.
Right?
I don't throw myself furtherinto work.
I actually take a break.
If there's no chaos happening inthe chaos time, then I treat it
as that's bonus time for me.
And so I have these littlebuffers in my schedule so that
(06:20):
there isn't a backlog in thenext few days, and so maybe
that's something to try.
Now, many people live withstress, high stress, and many
people work with high stress.
Anyone in the sales industry,and I, I don't care what you're
selling, whether you're sellingpeanuts or, you know, brand-new
(06:43):
houses, whatever, anyone in thesales industry has extra stress
because you're chasing the sale,right?
Your whole livelihood depends onthe sale.
So make sure you put time intoyour calendar, maybe for sales
training, maybe for evaluatinghow your system of sales has
(07:05):
been going for the past month,maybe seeing that you need to
change a process to make it amore positive outcome to get the
sale.
R- do something to reduce thestress that is always going to
be there because that's whatsales industries are driven on,
let's face it.
So I hope that helps with yourquestions there, giving you some
(07:29):
answers, Tom.
Let's look at what happened tome.
Have I been unwell?
No Have I been doing my garden?
You all know I love doing mygarden.
Not really, no.
There's been a few majorprojects that needed fixing up,
and yes, they got done.
Why have I been absent fromtalking to you on the podcast?
(07:53):
Well, I felt out of control.
Now, we all know that my mainbehavioral function is control,
right?
It's been a basis of my life,but I felt out of control.
Was something bad happening?
No.
No, it wasn't.
What basically happened was Itook too much on for myself, and
(08:16):
I started feeling overwhelmed,and I started feeling less than
and not good enough, and theseare all issues from my history
that pop back up again.
And so for me, I needed to stepback from the podcast for a
minute so that I could see whatwas going wrong.
(08:38):
And you know what?
What was going wrong was I wasover-committing myself in time.
My schedule was out of control.
I wasn't putting those buffersin for me time, so I had to
start doing that.
And, you know, now here we aretalking about it.
So what does my day look likenow?
(09:01):
My day looks like I look at mycalendar in the morning.
I know I've got everythingcolor-coded.
I've got buffers in there for metime or for catching up time,
and I'm not out of control.
You know, I'm at the desk at areasonable time.
I'm leaving the desk at areasonable time, and then I'm
making sure that I am present atdinnertime with my family.
(09:25):
It's always been a big thing.
You guys have heard me talkabout this on this podcast.
Family time for me at night isvery important.
But I had gotten to a pointwhere my boys were talking to
me, and I was thinking aboutother things.
I was not being present.
So for me, making sure that I ampresent, I'm looking after all
the animals here, and I am ableto flow through some of the more
(09:49):
stressful days now with a lotmore ease, and for me, with a
diary that is not in chaos, adiary that is not making me feel
twisted and sick and, you know,trying to juggle'cause I'm not a
juggler.
Okay?
I, I don't do that at all.
So I make sure that my calendarand my diary gives me that
(10:14):
flexibility to sort things outin a, in a really timely manner.
And so this has alleviated myown stress.
And, you know, I think it'sreally important that we look at
how we can manage our day, howwe can manage our time so that
(10:37):
when things pop up, that we'renot thrown into chaos.
That's just one side of what'sbeen happening.
The other side has been, I'llgive you a little bit of a
nature lesson.
We live in the country.
I've spoken before, we havekangaroos on our property.
(10:58):
Our kangaroos have been havingjoeys.
And unfortunately, our foxes arestarting to work in packs.
Foxes are normally quitesolitary.
They hunt usually alone, from myexperience here with them.
But they've been hunting ourkangaroos, and as soon as the
(11:19):
joeys are out of the pouchtrying to have a little move
around and learn how to usetheir legs, the foxes are coming
in and attacking.
So the other part of what I'vebeen doing while I've been
absent from talking to you, is Ihave been learning how to deter
foxes.
(11:41):
I have been learning how toprotect my kangaroos a bit more.
And I've been watching in turnhow my kangaroo mob behaves
under stress.
And you know what?
This is a really wonderfulexample of nature and stress.
And I'll tell you right now, ourbig male kangaroo, his name's
(12:03):
Big Jimmy, he doesn't lose hismind when he's under stress,
when he knows his mob is underthreat from these foxes.
He sits back for a minute and hewatches and he commands and he
makes sure that the mums withthe joeys are in the center of
the mob and protected.
(12:24):
And you know, he really takes itin his stride in a time where he
could be panicking, but hedoesn't.
And then, you know, the females,they could be panicking'cause
their babies are under threat,but they don't.
They have a very structured wayof protecting the young.
And you know, I've been watchingthis, and in times where their
(12:48):
whole lives are under threat,they don't panic.
Now I look at humans, our timeis under threat, and that's the
first thing we do.
So you know, this has been veryinteresting for me to learn to
become more grounded.
And what I would say to you islet's go back to the calendar.
(13:14):
Make sure that you have, youknow, whether you live by the
calendar or whether you just,you have that in your head and
you know everything that's goingon, make sure that you have that
time to become more grounded,you have that time to realize
what's important to you.
(13:34):
And you know, really stand inyour truth.
Don't let stress take over yourlife.
Don't let your job take overyour life.
Don't let your friends take overyour life.
Make sure that you are the onedriving your life, you are the
(13:54):
one driving everything that youdo every day, and that you're
doing it for a reason.
Don't just go on autopilot andsay,"Well, this is what's
happening, and this is whathappens every day, and every day
is the same." Because guesswhat?
You're just gonna, you know,look at your phone or whatever
and realize that two weeks havegone past, and you haven't
(14:15):
actually lived.
You've just existed.
So look, I hope this helps.
Again, you know, I'm glad to beback talking to everyone, and
thank you, Tom, for your veryinsightful, uh, query there
about stress.
You know, I really hope thatthis brings you some answers,
and I thank you so much for the,the question because, you know,
(14:40):
it made me really assess how Iwas responding to my own stress
and, you know, now here we aretalking about it.
If you wanna get involved,please jump onto Buzzsprout or
any of your podcast platforms.
Send us a query, send us somefan mail, and, uh, we'll talk
(15:00):
further about what it is that'son your mind.
But for now, go forth and createyour magical life.
Welcome back to A Magical Life.
I'm your host, Magic Barclay,and I'm sorry, listeners, I've
been missing for a few monthsnow, and I really do apologize
because my life has beenstressful, and that's exactly
what we're going to be talkingabout today.
I actually have a listenerquestion from a very dear friend
(01:04):
of mine, Tom, and Tom wants someanswers around stress.
And I'll first of all answerTom's question and then lead
into why I've abandoned you fora couple of months.
So again, my apologies.
Tom says If stress is brought onby too many things happening at
(01:28):
once and you don't feel like youhave enough time, for example,
you need to be somewhere, but,your car needs to go to the
mechanics, maybe you've got apunctured tire that needs
fixing, or, you know, this thendelays your day, and then all of
a sudden you have a client, afriend, a family member needing
your help urgently, and theywant you to come and help, but
(01:50):
you can't because you, you gotno way of getting there.
And you already have plans inthe evening that need to get
sorted and a place and time, butyour whole day feels out of
whack, and your schedule's gonecrazy.
Then for the next day, you havesomething on, but all of a
sudden you get two or threedifferent things thrown at you,
(02:12):
which all need to get sorted.
This all adds to stress andpressure and takes up your time.
Well, Tom, yes, it does, andthat's just happened to me.
So let's take this piece bypiece.
Let's look at what stress does.
Now, we have two types ofstress.
(02:32):
We have acute stress and chronicstress.
Now, when you get a flat tire oryour car breaks down, that's
acute stress.
Your diary is thrown into chaos,acute stress.
If your diary is continually inchaos and this is just the
(02:53):
status quo, that's chronicstress.
So what do you do about stress?
First of all, you need to knowthat you don't live there,
right?
This is temporary, and thingswill work out.
Maybe you need to make somechanges.
Maybe you need to step back froma couple of things, as I have,
(03:16):
I'm so sorry again, from thepodcast.
But in the time that you areunder this acute stress, things
can be spiraling out of controlphysically and mentally, and
it's very hard to step back atthat moment and go,"Okay, well,
there's nothing I can do aboutmy flat tire or my broken down
(03:39):
car." But there actually is.
So in a situation like that,happens to everyone, so you call
the client or you call thefriend or family member and you
say,"Listen, this is what'shappened.
So sorry.
Let's get together when I'm allon board about this.
I know your issue is urgent, butI'm no good right now.
(04:04):
Let me sort my car out.
Let me sort whatever it is out,and in the background, I'm going
to be working on this, and assoon as I can, I'll sort it for
you." Okay?
Maybe that's not going to fixeverything because their issue
is urgent, but at the end of theday, they've probably had a flat
(04:25):
tire or a broken down car orsomething happen somewhere along
the way, so they'll understand.
You can only do what you can do.
You can only control what youcan control.
What happens around you, thethings that happen to you are
sometimes completely out of yourcontrol.
Now, what happens when someoneneeds you to be somewhere?
(04:47):
That was the other part of this,this question from Tom.
Someone needs you and, you know,you've already got plans and
then your whole day is out ofwhack, your schedule goes crazy,
and then, you know, there's aflow on effect for the next few
days.
Well, again, it comes down towhat can you do right now?
(05:10):
Sometimes reaching out to peopleand saying,"I am so sorry that I
am human, but we're all humanand this is what happens," just
reminding them that helps.
What you can do with yourschedule is maybe put some
buffers in your schedule so thatyou've got time to use to make
(05:32):
up for things that don't goright.
I do this in my own diary now,certainly after the past couple
of months.
I actually put buffer times inmy schedule so that if I'm
running late with a client or ifsomething happens with my
family, I know there's an hour,maybe an hour and a half each
day that I can utilize to catchback up, to get back on track.
(05:59):
And if I don't use that time, itbecomes me time.
Right?
I don't throw myself furtherinto work.
I actually take a break.
If there's no chaos happening inthe chaos time, then I treat it
as that's bonus time for me.
And so I have these littlebuffers in my schedule so that
(06:20):
there isn't a backlog in thenext few days, and so maybe
that's something to try.
Now, many people live withstress, high stress, and many
people work with high stress.
Anyone in the sales industry,and I, I don't care what you're
selling, whether you're sellingpeanuts or, you know, brand-new
(06:43):
houses, whatever, anyone in thesales industry has extra stress
because you're chasing the sale,right?
Your whole livelihood depends onthe sale.
So make sure you put time intoyour calendar, maybe for sales
training, maybe for evaluatinghow your system of sales has
(07:05):
been going for the past month,maybe seeing that you need to
change a process to make it amore positive outcome to get the
sale.
R- do something to reduce thestress that is always going to
be there because that's whatsales industries are driven on,
let's face it.
So I hope that helps with yourquestions there, giving you some
(07:29):
answers, Tom.
Let's look at what happened tome.
Have I been unwell?
No Have I been doing my garden?
You all know I love doing mygarden.
Not really, no.
There's been a few majorprojects that needed fixing up,
and yes, they got done.
Why have I been absent fromtalking to you on the podcast?
(07:53):
Well, I felt out of control.
Now, we all know that my mainbehavioral function is control,
right?
It's been a basis of my life,but I felt out of control.
Was something bad happening?
No.
No, it wasn't.
What basically happened was Itook too much on for myself, and
(08:16):
I started feeling overwhelmed,and I started feeling less than
and not good enough, and theseare all issues from my history
that pop back up again.
And so for me, I needed to stepback from the podcast for a
minute so that I could see whatwas going wrong.
(08:38):
And you know what?
What was going wrong was I wasover-committing myself in time.
My schedule was out of control.
I wasn't putting those buffersin for me time, so I had to
start doing that.
And, you know, now here we aretalking about it.
So what does my day look likenow?
(09:01):
My day looks like I look at mycalendar in the morning.
I know I've got everythingcolor-coded.
I've got buffers in there for metime or for catching up time,
and I'm not out of control.
You know, I'm at the desk at areasonable time.
I'm leaving the desk at areasonable time, and then I'm
making sure that I am present atdinnertime with my family.
(09:25):
It's always been a big thing.
You guys have heard me talkabout this on this podcast.
Family time for me at night isvery important.
But I had gotten to a pointwhere my boys were talking to
me, and I was thinking aboutother things.
I was not being present.
So for me, making sure that I ampresent, I'm looking after all
the animals here, and I am ableto flow through some of the more
(09:49):
stressful days now with a lotmore ease, and for me, with a
diary that is not in chaos, adiary that is not making me feel
twisted and sick and, you know,trying to juggle'cause I'm not a
juggler.
Okay?
I, I don't do that at all.
So I make sure that my calendarand my diary gives me that
(10:14):
flexibility to sort things outin a, in a really timely manner.
And so this has alleviated myown stress.
And, you know, I think it'sreally important that we look at
how we can manage our day, howwe can manage our time so that
(10:37):
when things pop up, that we'renot thrown into chaos.
That's just one side of what'sbeen happening.
The other side has been, I'llgive you a little bit of a
nature lesson.
We live in the country.
I've spoken before, we havekangaroos on our property.
(10:58):
Our kangaroos have been havingjoeys.
And unfortunately, our foxes arestarting to work in packs.
Foxes are normally quitesolitary.
They hunt usually alone, from myexperience here with them.
But they've been hunting ourkangaroos, and as soon as the
(11:19):
joeys are out of the pouchtrying to have a little move
around and learn how to usetheir legs, the foxes are coming
in and attacking.
So the other part of what I'vebeen doing while I've been
absent from talking to you, is Ihave been learning how to deter
foxes.
(11:41):
I have been learning how toprotect my kangaroos a bit more.
And I've been watching in turnhow my kangaroo mob behaves
under stress.
And you know what?
This is a really wonderfulexample of nature and stress.
And I'll tell you right now, ourbig male kangaroo, his name's
(12:03):
Big Jimmy, he doesn't lose hismind when he's under stress,
when he knows his mob is underthreat from these foxes.
He sits back for a minute and hewatches and he commands and he
makes sure that the mums withthe joeys are in the center of
the mob and protected.
(12:24):
And you know, he really takes itin his stride in a time where he
could be panicking, but hedoesn't.
And then, you know, the females,they could be panicking'cause
their babies are under threat,but they don't.
They have a very structured wayof protecting the young.
And you know, I've been watchingthis, and in times where their
(12:48):
whole lives are under threat,they don't panic.
Now I look at humans, our timeis under threat, and that's the
first thing we do.
So you know, this has been veryinteresting for me to learn to
become more grounded.
And what I would say to you islet's go back to the calendar.
(13:14):
Make sure that you have, youknow, whether you live by the
calendar or whether you just,you have that in your head and
you know everything that's goingon, make sure that you have that
time to become more grounded,you have that time to realize
what's important to you.
(13:34):
And you know, really stand inyour truth.
Don't let stress take over yourlife.
Don't let your job take overyour life.
Don't let your friends take overyour life.
Make sure that you are the onedriving your life, you are the
(13:54):
one driving everything that youdo every day, and that you're
doing it for a reason.
Don't just go on autopilot andsay,"Well, this is what's
happening, and this is whathappens every day, and every day
is the same." Because guesswhat?
You're just gonna, you know,look at your phone or whatever
and realize that two weeks havegone past, and you haven't
(14:15):
actually lived.
You've just existed.
So look, I hope this helps.
Again, you know, I'm glad to beback talking to everyone, and
thank you, Tom, for your veryinsightful, uh, query there
about stress.
You know, I really hope thatthis brings you some answers,
and I thank you so much for the,the question because, you know,
(14:40):
it made me really assess how Iwas responding to my own stress
and, you know, now here we aretalking about it.
If you wanna get involved,please jump onto Buzzsprout or
any of your podcast platforms.
Send us a query, send us somefan mail, and, uh, we'll talk
(15:00):
further about what it is that'son your mind.
But for now, go forth and createyour magical life.
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