Episode Transcript
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Speaker 7 (00:43):
Welcome back to a
Magical Life.
I'm your host Magic Markley.
Today I wanted to address aquestion that I get given a lot
when I'm on other people'spodcasts, and that is what is a
healthy relationship?
A healthy relationship isn'tjust the partner in your life.
(01:04):
A relationship is the one thatyou have with yourself.
One that you have with yourchildren, with your parents,
with your pets, with nature,with obviously your physical and
emotional body.
It is a work relationship.
It can be a relationship to yourcommunity.
(01:27):
There's a lot of types ofrelationships, but.
Healthy relationship issomething that harbors mutual
respect, trust, opencommunication, and support.
We've spoken before about thebody's one job in the world, and
that is to keep you safe.
(01:48):
Healthy relationships help youstay safe and the relationship
that you have with yourself.
For example, now if it'shealthy.
You'll respect yourself.
You won't be putting yourselfdown.
You won't be denigratingyourself.
You won't be lowering yourselfto adjust to other people's
expectations, which we've alsospoken about on this podcast
(02:12):
before.
A healthy relationship withyourself means that you will
value who you are, what you are,what you stand for, and what you
can do for yourself and othersaround you.
A healthy relationship with yourfamily.
Means keeping toxic people atarm's length, protecting your
(02:32):
peace and supporting yourchildren, but also having them
support you in return.
This mutual respect has to comein.
We are not just givers andgivers and givers as parents.
We can receive also.
And healthy relationship withyour friends.
We've spoken about this beforeand you know, I had a big L
(02:55):
painted on my forehead for along time because I allowed my
friends in inverted commas totake advantage of me.
I thought that I could only beliked if I was useful to them,
and that is not a healthyrelationship with myself or with
them.
So a healthy relationship withfriends means that.
(03:17):
You can vent to your friends,but they can vent to you.
You can support your friends andthey can support you.
You can lift up your friends,build them up, and they can do
the same for you.
A healthy relationship with ourfood is important with nature.
We've spoken about that before.
(03:38):
We really do need to get outinto nature.
It has all of the healingproperties we need, and we far
too often shut ourselves awayfrom it.
We need to build and maintainhealthy relationships.
Friendships don't just happen.
They create a need for work onboth sides.
(03:59):
I have a very dear friend, andI've spoken to you guys about
this before on this podcast, andshe lives three and a half hours
away from me.
Do we talk all the time?
No.
Can we reach out and for anhour, listen to each other,
(04:20):
support each other?
Maintain our relationship.
Yes, we can.
And we do.
And I would have to say she isone of my closest friends and
yet one that I speak to theleast of all of my smaller
circle of friends, but I knowthere's no judgment there.
She knows that too.
(04:41):
And when we do get together,it's like we just saw each other
yesterday and that is a healthyrelationship.
Healthy relationships with food.
We've spoken about this before.
Feed your body.
Fuel your body.
It requires that from you, butrespect your food.
(05:01):
You know, I had years of eatingdisorders because I didn't fuel
my body.
I didn't have a healthyrelationship with my food.
I used it to punish myself tocontrol my life.
That is not okay.
So a healthy relationship withfood.
You look forward to eating thatmeal.
You're eating it with all ofyour senses.
You're smelling it.
(05:22):
You are looking at it.
You're tasting it, you aretouching it.
You can hear it cooking, you canhear it sizzling, whatever it is
that you're doing.
Or if it's a salad, you can hearthe snap and the freshness of
the vegetables.
This is a healthy relationshipwith food.
Do you need to go overboard andhave five servings?
(05:44):
No, that's not healthy.
You need to eat enough to fuelyour body, to satisfy your
hunger, and to really enjoy withall of your senses what that
meal is and what it's doing foryou.
Healthy relationships with ourpets.
Having pets does not mean thatyou have someone that is
(06:06):
subservient to you that.
Waits for your every request.
That is not okay.
Give your pet space.
But again, just as you wouldwith your kids, give them
boundaries.
Let them know that you are thereto give them love and peace and
(06:26):
security when they need it.
Healthy relationships with wildanimals outside.
Now, this is something I see alot of.
In my wildlife rescue part of mylife, don't be feeding the wild
birds.
Just don't.
That is not a healthyrelationship with them.
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What you think you are doing tohelp them is not.
It is killing them.
Do not do that.
Don't use poisons in yourgarden.
Have a healthy relationship.
Try to use permacultureprinciples where you can and.
The birds, the animals will showyou their beauty and their
(07:08):
absolute amazing existence in ahealthy way.
Bring wildlife to your gardenbecause what they can do for
your happiness and your dopaminelevels, your serotonin levels is
just amazing.
But respect them and treat themwith kindness.
(07:29):
Have that healthy relationship.
Understand that everything youdo in life affects someone else.
Now, this doesn't mean shyingaway or changing yourself to
suit others.
As I said, I've done enoughyears of that to know and to
learn and to be able to tell yoube who you are, but try not to
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hurt others.
Sometimes it's unavoidable.
I know.
Sometimes we just can't be theperfect person.
But try not to hurt others.
Don't use people, don't hurtpeople.
(08:12):
Don't make yourself seem betterjust by putting them down.
Don't do that.
It's just not okay.
It's not cool.
It's not healthy for them, andit's not healthy for you.
Be a better person and encourageother people to get there.
Now, healthy work relationships,something I've been thinking of
(08:36):
for quite some time to talk toyou about.
You don't need to put otherpeople down to make yourself
seem better, but by the sametoken, you don't need to cover
up their laziness.
Their inability to do somethingor their inability to want to do
(08:57):
something or want to achieve orwant to better themselves.
You're not there to do any ofthe coverup, okay?
But you're not there to be aporn in their games either, and
don't support mediocrity.
The reason I say this is becausewe often don't lift ourselves up
(09:19):
in the workplace, right?
We don't take pride in whatwe're doing.
We don't shout from the rooftopsbasically, Hey, I'm really good
at what I'm doing and I'm soproud of myself doing this.
Maybe we have to, maybe we haveto raise the bar to have our
colleagues and workmates meet usthere.
(09:39):
Instead, we lower the bar sothat a minimum achievement from
us looks great.
Don't do that.
Raise the bar and encourageothers to meet you at that
higher level, and you will havea much healthier, much more
cohesive workplace when you'reall achieving.
(10:00):
We don't want just one personachieving.
We all want to achieve.
We all wanna work for the samegoal, and that is to be the best
people we can be.
Now, we've spoken before aboutyoung relationships.
Encourage your young people totry to get out there.
It's a very fearful world.
(10:20):
It's a very hateful world thesedays.
You know, what my kids are goingthrough is not at all like what
I went through.
It's harder now to meet people.
Encourage them to try andsupport them.
And as long as they know whothey are and they're standing
strong in that, and they'reraising the bar higher for
themselves, they'll find theright good relationship with
(10:46):
your pets.
Have a healthy relationship.
Don't stand for poor behavior.
Give them boundaries.
Give'em expectations.
Give them ways that they knowthey can be an integral part of
your family in a healthy way.
Don't allow them to misbehaveevery single day because then
(11:08):
you're going to have biggerproblems later on as they get
older.
We've spoken before abouthealthy relationships with food,
and I just mentioned before, butmake sure you eat seasonally.
Because the nutrients in thatfood that you are growing is
highest at certain seasons ofthe year, and this is super
(11:31):
important.
So what are 12 signs of healthyrelationships?
Respect, mutual respect.
I said it before, I'll say itagain.
Trust.
That each party in therelationship has trust.
Okay?
Your food won't trust you, butyou can trust your food.
(11:52):
That when things get tough, youfind a way to work through it.
With communication, withresponse, you know, how many
times do we get annoyed withsomeone in our lives and we go
quiet on them?
Don't slow communication down.
They're not mind readers.
Speak it out.
Talk it out.
Communication is key.
(12:16):
Agree that sometimes you havedifferences, and that's okay.
If we were all the same, lifewould be boring forgiveness.
Forgive others.
Forgive yourself.
Forgive the weather.
Forgive public transport.
You know, there are some thingsthat are completely out of our
(12:37):
control, and then when somethings do happen, we hold onto
it and we keep re-injuringourselves.
So make sure that you canforgive.
Commitment is another thing toany relationship, any healthy
relationship.
Be committed.
That includes the relationshipwith yourself.
(12:58):
Make a commitment to yourself.
We've spoken about kindness.
We've spoken about enjoyingother people's companies and
sharing and supporting eachother's goals.
Now this goes for your familyand your pets also make good
decisions.
(13:18):
Any relationship requires you tomake decisions, Making healthy
and good decisions is so, soimportant.
Don't rush to judgment.
Don't rush to a decision.
There's time.
You can decide what is healthyfor you in your life, and you
(13:39):
can create a healthier processto achieve things.
Don't dodge the difficult stuff.
You know, we always put thingsin the too hard basket, and I
think sometimes we actually haveto face head on the difficult
things because that's how wegrow.
You know, it's a little bit likewhen you cut your finger with
(14:01):
some paper.
You get a paper cut, it hurtslike buggery.
As soon as you do it right, thenit starts to get red and itchy
and a little bit inflamed.
That's the healing processstarting.
That's good.
Inflammation.
Right.
That's trying to start therepair process.
So when we dodge difficultsituations or decisions or
(14:26):
whatever it may be, we aremissing out on starting the
healing process.
You wanna really, you.
Take control, not in an overcontrolling way, but you wanna
start the process of healing.
And you know, that may be thatyou have that difficult
discussion.
(14:47):
It may be that you addresssomething you don't quite like
in yourself.
It may be that you have to starteating something that in your
mind you don't like.
Guess what?
Your taste buds change over timeand you may like it now and it's
probably very healthy for you.
So.
Don't dodge the difficultsituations.
(15:08):
Be comfortable in who you areand be independent.
Now, this is something veryimportant for men and women to
learn, and that is if you areokay in yourself, you won't be
as susceptible to the wrongpeople in your life.
(15:28):
Allow yourself to have downdays.
If you're in a romanticrelationship or in a family
relationship, be honest.
Just say to the people aroundyou, do you know what?
I'm just not feeling so greattoday.
Give them an opportunity tosupport you and build you up,
and this is so, so importantbecause you know, too often, too
(15:53):
often we shy away and we don'tlet people know what's going on
with our thoughts, feelings, andemotions.
And so we react in a way thatisn't truthful and then they
react or they process thatfacade.
And so their response is tosomething that's not truthful.
(16:16):
And then we get annoyed becausewe're like, why can't they see
me for who I am?
Guess what?
You didn't project who you were,you projected how you wanted
them to see you'cause youweren't feeling so great.
So.
We need to create that space forpeople to have healthy
relationships with us and reallycomprehend that what we project
(16:40):
isn't always who we are.
But if we're getting annoyedwith them because they're
reacting to what we project, howcan we have a healthy
relationship now?
Talking in circles here a littlebit.
What it comes down to is just afew things.
Work on yourself, project whoyou are, not what you want them
(17:06):
to see.
Work on mutual respect andhealthy admiration.
From everything to the food thatyou eat, to what you wear, to
nature, to your pets, to yourkids, to your partners, to your
parents, to your friends.
Work on that.
(17:26):
And the final thing, and this isjust so important, is respect
yourself.
Really, really respect yourself.
You are not.
Who you used to be.
You are not the decisions youmade, the things that you did,
the health issues that you mayhave had.
None of that is who you are.
(17:47):
Who you are today, who youunderstand yourself to be is
what's important.
You know, I, I made a quote manyyears ago that our social and
health mistakes don't define whowe are.
Mistakes are that inflammationthat starts the healing mistakes
(18:08):
are what we learn from to becomebetter, to do better.
And that is what is important.
Don't shy away from mistakes.
Don't feel guilty aboutmistakes.
We all make them.
It's how you bounce back.
It's what you do to recover.
It's what you do to learn fromit, and it's what you do to move
on that matters.
(18:28):
And this all builds healthyrelationships.
Just a short one from me today.
But if there's something elseyou would like to talk about,
definitely pop on over to ourFacebook page at a Magical Life
Podcast.
Send a message, get into theconversation.
(18:49):
Have a look at our website,www.holisticnaturalhealth.com
au, and really reach out and getinvolved.
Let's help build healthyrelationships together.
For now, please like, subscribe,share, and review this podcast
everywhere that you see it andgo forth and create your magical
(19:12):
life.