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January 27, 2025 26 mins

Julie and Jel Legg discuss the common yet invalidating comment, "You don’t look like you have ADHD," and explore how ADHD traits, such as overthinking and emotional regulation, can create paradoxical behaviours that confuse observers. 

The Flipsides of ADHD highlight the contrasting extremes that can coexist within moments—swinging from overthinking to underthinking, oversharing to withholding, and being highly organized to thriving in chaos. These complexities emphasize that ADHD is best understood through appropriate tools and expert guidance, rather than through casual judgments from friends or family. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

  • ADHD's Paradoxes: People with ADHD often exhibit seemingly contradictory traits, such as overthinking one moment and underthinking the next. This duality can confuse others and even those with ADHD themselves.
  • The Challenge of Understanding ADHD: ADHD’s complexity makes it difficult for both neurotypicals and individuals with ADHD to fully grasp. Outsiders may simplify or misjudge the condition due to a lack of proper context or tools for understanding.
  • Invalidation Through Misjudgment: Phrases like, "You don’t look like you have ADHD," can be invalidating and stem from others' limited perspectives rather than reality. These remarks highlight the importance of promoting awareness and education.
  • The Importance of Perspective: Understanding ADHD requires the right tools and expertise. Lay observations are insufficient, much like using a tape measure to estimate the distance to the moon.
  • Navigating Misunderstanding with Grace: Instead of responding harshly to misinformed comments, individuals with ADHD can use them as an opportunity to educate others while maintaining self-compassion.
  • ADHD is Personal and Nuanced: No two ADHD experiences are alike, making it essential to approach the topic with sensitivity and an open mind. It is not a condition that can be boxed into simple categories or stereotypes.

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