Why Are Your Best People Really Leaving? | Workplace AI for Executives - AI Cafe Conversations | Neuroscience, Neuroleadership, and Human-Centered AI for Executives

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:13):
I want to ask you something, and I want you to sit
with it before an answer.
When was the last time you askedyour best person if they were
okay?
Not how the project was going,not when the report was due.

(00:34):
Just are you okay?
Because right now, acrossorganizations everywhere, the
highest performers are thequietest.
And quiet, in my word, is awarning sign.
This is Sahar Andradi, your AIwhisperer, and this is your AI

(00:57):
Cafe Conversations.
Thank you for being here today.
Here is what I keep hearing fromexecutives.
They left out of nowhere.
No warning, no complaints.
Everything seemed fine.
Nothing just happens.

(01:19):
The brain does not make suddendecisions.
It makes accumulated ones.
Every meeting where someone feltdismissed, every restructure
that was announced withoutcontext, every time a leader was
too dysregulated to hold spacefor someone else's concern,

(01:40):
those moments stack up quietlyand visibly.
Until the day someone submitsthe resignation and the
executive is blindsided.
But honestly, are they reallyblindsided?
And here is the thing thatnobody is talking about.

(02:01):
AI is accelerating this.
Not because of what AI is doing,but because of what leaders are
not doing while AI is changingeverything around them.
When organizations undergo majordisruption, the brain goes into

(02:24):
threat assessment mode.
The amygdala, which is our brainalarm system, fires
consistently, nonstop.
It's scanning for threats.
Because our brain never stoppedsince the caveman kill or be

(02:46):
killed, hunt or be hunted.
Our brain did not evolve inknowing the difference.
So believe it or not, ouramygdala sees a threat in
criticism, in a feedback, inmaybe asking harshly about why
did you miss the deadline?

(03:09):
And the brain categorizes orfiles it as the same threat as
having a tiger following you.
It does not differentiatebetween both threats.
So amygdala is always scanningand firing constantly.
Is this safe?

(03:31):
Do I belong here?
Is my contribution visible?
I am going to be okay.
And the problem is that no oneasks anyone, how are you holding
up?
What's going on in your life?
People, and I hear it all thetime with most of the accounts

(03:53):
that I work with, and I don'tblame them.
I mean, the executives, thedirectors, the managers,
whenever I ask them about what'sgoing on with their one-on-one
meetings, they have that blankface, right?
It's like, what do you meanone-on-one?
And like, don't you meet withyour people one-on-one?
No, I'm too busy.
I don't really have the time forthat.
I can barely get to my projects.

(04:14):
And you know what?
This is what results in peopleleaving.
Because if you took the time of10 minutes one-on-one, how many,
how many do you manage?
Five, six, by ten minutes,that's 60 minutes.
That's one hour out of a month.
Of how many hours per month?

(04:35):
If you take the 60 minutes, youmight avoid that crisis.
Actually, you probably willavoid this crisis.
Just that direct humanconnection, and this is what we
have been missing.
We are going so fast witheverything, especially with AI.
AI is accelerating everything.
And again, I'm not saying thatAI is the reason, but AI kind of

(04:59):
flamed it.
AI brought it to the top.
It's all about human-centeredleadership.
It goes back to the basics,right?
So, what I am describing todayis not a human resources
problem.
That's actually a neurosciencereality.

(05:22):
And if the leader at the top isalso dysregulated, if their own
nervous system is running oncortisol, which is the stress
hormone and pressure, then theentire team feels it.
You cannot regulate a room youare not regulated in.
Remember, leaders are thethermostat to the team, not the

(05:47):
thermometer.
If a leader walks indysregulated, no matter what
they say, the team absorb thatdysregulation and become
dysregulated themselves.
So let me give you a scenario, abit of a scenario if you want to
call it.
As senior director, I workedwith, brilliant, experienced,

(06:09):
exactly the kind of person youdon't want to lose.
She had been with theorganization for 11 years.
Through three structures,through two CEOs, and through a
merger.
She left on a Tuesday morning.
HR got the resignation at 8 or 4a.m.

(06:33):
Her leader was in a town hallwhen it came through.
What happened?
Nothing dramatic.
No blow up.
No coral.
No harsh criticism.
No bad performance review.
So what happened?

(06:53):
What happened was that over sixmonths of AI implementation
rollout, her role changed threetimes.
Not once, not twice, threetimes.
Her input was asked for, butnever acted on.

(07:15):
It's like she didn't count.
Her team looked to her forcertainty she did not have.
And her leader never once saidthis is hard.
I see it.
You met her here.
She felt invisible.

(07:40):
She felt like she didn't matter.
Her nervous system did the math.
And the math said, leave.
Here is what that costs you.
It's not just the recruitmentfees, not just the onboarding
time.

(08:01):
When a high performer leaves,the people who respected them
watch.
And their nervous systems do themath too.
Retention is a contagion in bothdirections.
It spreads like a virus.

(08:24):
A virus that you cannot control.
A virus that basicallyantibiotics cannot treat.
The organizations that keeptheir best people through
disruption are not the ones withthe best benefits.
They are the ones with the mostregulated leadership.

So, my question for you (08:44):
what are you doing about that?
How many people have you seenleave?
And you just shrugged it.
Or you say, they couldn't takethe pressure?
Or you didn't even think aboutit and say, Oh, and the minute
they left, you say, Oh, I haveto go through recruitment now.
Let me talk to HR so we canrecruit someone new.

(09:07):
How many times have you donethat?
Have you done an exit interview?
Have you talked to them?
Sometimes, believe it or not,you can get these people back if
you make them feel seen andheard.

(09:34):
So you can hear them.
And when that manager ordirector that I was working with
felt unseen, she shared herconcern.
She shared what she feels shouldhappen and shouldn't happen.
Why?
Because she is into the middleof that.

(09:56):
She knows better the operation.
She knows better what works,what doesn't work.
And most importantly, she knowsher team.
So she was asked and sheresponded.
And it didn't happen once, ithappened twice, it happened
three times.
And she felt that she had novalue in there.
And it's not only that shedidn't have value, but she was,

(10:18):
she felt like she was notcontributing to anything, though
she was.
Because all of us want to feelthat we are something bigger
than who we are.
And that's why when we listen topeople, even if we cannot really
execute what they are saying,but get their buy-in and explain
why we can do it now, maybelater.

(10:40):
But let them feel seen andheard.
Let your people feel valued.
Give them that 10 minutesone-on-one.
If not, you're gonna keepbleeding people, and then you're
gonna wonder why yourcompetition is doing better.
Okay, so let me walk you throughsome of the solutions.

(11:03):
Okay.
So what do regulated leadersactually do differently?
First, they name what is real.
We call it name it to tame it,right?
It's not my own expression, butit's what we say.
The brain relaxes whenuncertainty is acknowledged.

(11:24):
When you put a name to what theyare feeling, it becomes more
tangible.
It's not that thing that isscary, that is at the horizon,
that we don't know what's gonnahappen, that monster that is
lurking in the darkness.
So when we name it, we actuallynot only acknowledge it, but we

(11:45):
give it a shape, we give it aname, a smell, whatever, it's
something that becomes tangible,like I said.
Because the brain relaxes whenuncertainty is acknowledged, not
hidden.
You do not have to have all theanswers, you have to have the
honesty to say, this is what weknow, this is what we are trying

(12:11):
to figure out, and you are partof that.
And not just for show, let themshare what they want or what
they think or what they believewill or will not work.
Second, they make peoplevisible.
Visibility is a neurologicalneed.

(12:32):
When someone's contribution isseen and named, the brain
registers safety.
When it's invisible, the brainregisters threat.
I will keep talking abouthuman-centered leadership,
human-centered AI, and mostimportantly, about psychological

(12:57):
safety.
Psychological safety is a greatvalue, right?
But it's not just a value.
It's not something that you talkabout, it's not something that
you put on a website or on anemail.
Your people have to feel it.
It's a feeling.
Psychological safety is afeeling, not just a value.

So you need to ask yourself (13:22):
do my people feel safe to come and
talk to me?
To challenge me?
To ask me a question?
To say, I don't know?
Or do they look at it as like Ibetter be quiet because I don't
want to rock the boat.
I don't want to lose my job.
What is it?

(13:43):
You have to start askingyourself all that.
Real look in the mirror.
Third.
And this is the one mostexecutives skip.
They regulate themselves first.
You cannot lead from a place ofdysregulation and expect your
people to stay grounded.

(14:05):
You cannot give what you don'thave.
And you cannot pour from anempty cup.
So think about that.
You cannot preach what you don'tdo either.
It does not work neurologically.
Stress is contagious, like Isaid, like a virus.

(14:26):
So is calm.
I work with a framework calledBrain that helps leaders
understand what's happeninginside them before they walk
into a room.
Because the state you walk inwith is the state your team
catches.
And I use what I call the threezones to help organizations

(14:51):
understand where their teams areright now.
Some people are in the zone ofsafety, some are at the edge,
some are already checked outmentally, and the resignation
letter is already written intheir hand.
The worst is when they are quitequitters, where they don't

(15:13):
resign, they stay for thepaycheck, and they just quit
mentally, psychologically, andemotionally, and you get nothing
out of that.
So it costs you even more.
You need to know which zone yourpeople are in, not once a year,

(15:35):
in a survey, consistently andrationally.
Retention is not an HRinitiative, it's a daily
leadership practice and itstarts in the nervous system.
If you're listening to this andthinking, I do not actually know
which zone my people are inright now, that is your starting

(16:00):
point.
If you need more help with that,I have a shadow AI assessment on
my website.
It's free.
It takes about 10 minutes, itwill show you where you and your
organization sit in the AIdisruption landscape.
And it will also tell you whatyour nervous system is doing

(16:22):
under this pressure.
Link is in the description ofthe show here.
Go take it, it's free.
And if you want to talk throughwhat you find, you can actually
book a leadership clarity call.
No sales, no pushing on you anyproducts, just a clarity call.

(16:42):
I will also have the link to mycalendar here below.
Come back Friday for the Forbesarticle right edition.
We are going into AI decisionfatigue.
Why the more decisions AI givesyou, the worst your decisions
actually get.
See you then.

(17:02):
And like I always say before Ileave, show me some love.
Please, we need your help intoincreasing our rankings.
We are already one of the 2% topglobal, but we need you to help
us with either rating orcommenting on our podcast.

(17:24):
I would really appreciate it.
And uh I want to thank you foryour help and your support.
Uh please save, share, like,subscribe to any of our
podcasts.
We would really appreciate it.
Till I see you again on Friday.
I will tell you, peace out.

(17:47):
This is Sahar Andradi, your AIwhisperer, and this is AI Cafe
Conversation Podcast, the onlypodcast where neuroscience, AI,
and leadership intersect.
Bye for now.

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Why Are Your Best People Really Leaving? | Workplace AI for Executives

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