Ep 139: Two and a Half Maples

Ross is back. Jess is missing in action. And it was almost the shortest episode in Beat Around the Bench history because a tornado showed up and tried to end the whole thing early.

That is not an exaggeration.

But before nature launched its attack, Ross dropped a full debrief from his trip to London and Edinburgh and it is everything you want it to be. The man walked through 800 year old doorways. He stood inside Edinburgh Castle where actual kings and queens watched woodwork get installed that is still standing six centuries later. He described Gothic white oak carvings so intricate and so clean that Scottish carvers were literally shipped across the Atlantic to build out the lobbies of major buildings in New York and Chicago during the roaring twenties and that work is still up today without a single seam coming apart. Ross looked at it as a woodworker and said it would take him 30 years to get to the skill level of someone who was only five years into their apprenticeship.

Meanwhile Colton jumped on a coat rack he built to prove Jess wrong about whether it would hold and it snapped immediately. So that is where we are.

The episode also hits hard on food. Ross broke down haggis poppers flash fried and dipped in jalapeño stone ground mustard at a bar in Edinburgh. He ate lamb shank at a Greek restaurant in London where they told him to put down his fork and just use his hands. He found beignets at a Paris based bakery called Paul that were so good he had to stop himself from eating a dozen. He also confirmed that the sandwich culture in London is basically non existent which was genuinely distressing for a man who would eat sandwiches at every meal if nobody stopped him. The Sensational Sandwiches meetup did not happen by the way because Frazier was in Paris running a marathon and forgot to check his phone. So that chapter stays open.

Back in the shop Colton ran through SharkBite push connect plumbing fittings and how he added a water spigot to the front of his house in about an hour by crawling under a pier and beam foundation with 14 bucks worth of parts and zero special tools. Ross dropped a Harbor Freight shutoff quick connect that lets you swap air tools without losing pressure and without launching anything across your shop at dangerous velocity. Colton gave Ace Hardware its flowers for specialty hardware bolts plus the legendary old guy named Greg who has been doing plumbing and electrical for 45 years and just works there because he likes it.

And then the tornado warning hit. Ross had to shelter in place and the episode ended faster than a bull rider getting thrown in the first two seconds.

This is Beat Around the Bench. Episode 139. Two and a Half Maples. Follow the show everywhere and keep Jess and Colton honest while Ross digs out from under the weather.

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