June 24, 2025 • 19 mins
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Why Saying 'Good Boy' Over 'Yes Daddy' Wins Every Time
The praise men crave, the power women hold, and why soft dominance always wins.
This one’s for the girls who are done being agreeable. In this episode, we’re breaking down the power of praise, male psychology, and why saying “good boy” hits way harder than “yes daddy.” From dominance and desire to gifts, boundaries, and emotional bonding — I’m giving you the game on how to hold your standard and your power. Spoiler: men don’t want a yes girl. They want a muse.
00:26 Good Boy vs. Yes Daddy: Understanding Male Psychology
02:24 The Importance of Boundaries and Validation
06:55 Men's Investment and Emotional Attachment
09:17 Implementing Boundaries and Standards
15:39 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Madeline (00:00):
Welcome to Becoming Sunshine.
For those of you that know me,you know that Sunshine has been
an alias of mine for almost adecade now, and sunshine also is
me becoming my highest self, andthat's what this podcast is
about.
I'm here to help you understandyourself better and maybe learn
(00:21):
some more about myself along theway.
Thanks so much for joining me.
I'm excited.
Hey friends, welcome back toBecoming Sunshine.
So today we're talking about howsaying good boy will get you a
lot further and you'll be a lotmore successful than you ever
will saying yes daddy.
This isn't just about kink talk,it's about real relationship
(00:44):
dynamics, polarity andattraction.
The idea behind good boy versusyes daddy, reflects everyday
dynamics in dating, status andmale behavior.
Everything men do is pretty muchto impress women, to gain the
favor of women or to get theattention of women.
(01:08):
Men are driven by the desire toimpress women.
Cars, muscles, money, it's allperformance.
Everything men do is to get ourattention.
And everything we do is likejust for ourselves and for our
own happiness.
For example, going out women goout to have fun and get dressed
up and dance with their friendsand take cute pictures.
(01:28):
Guys go out to flirt with womenand find women and hit on women.
Men are praise starved, andstatus driven.
Men are a lot more insecure thanwe would think.
They're actually way moreinsecure than women.
They crave validation and theywant to feel capable,
(01:51):
successful, and chosen.
Women are valued for who theyare, their essence.
That's what female energy is.
Men are valued and men valuethemselves for what they do, so
if you're in relationship with aguy, just like loving them for
who they are and appreciatingthem for who they are, that's
not gonna do it for them.
That's the way women are, and ifyou're dating another woman,
(02:12):
that makes sense.
But men need to feel seen andappreciated for what they do,
for what they achieve and fortheir success.
That's how they valuethemselves, and so that's what
they need praise on.
So the Good Boy theory speaks totheir inner child and their
unspoken need for emotionalaffirmation.
(02:33):
It speaks to men's psychology.
Men want what other men want andcan't have.
That's what gives them theirstatus.
If something comes easy andeveryone can have it, every man
can have it, then it loses itsvalue.
Boundaries create desire.
Men want to overcome achallenge.
(02:55):
It gives them purpose, and itmakes the rewards sweeter.
If they need to prove themselvesto you or to gain your favor or
impress you or make you happy,they had to work for it.
You become more desirable tothem.
When women are always easyaccess and always say yes, yes
daddy, their value drops.
(03:18):
The value of being desired butnot easily owned.
If anyone can have it, it losesits worth.
That's basic male psychology,and it's about being the
mysterious respected muse energyversus the yes girl.
think about it, luxury brands,exclusive clubs, there's
(03:40):
barriers to entry.
Think of like Hermes bags orreally exclusive members clubs
or nightclubs or VIP sections.
If anyone could just have it orbe a part of it, it would lose
its value.
It would lose its status.
That's why when you go to luxurystores, you're treated a certain
way, you're treated like you'reless than or you have to prove
(04:03):
yourself.
I had an ex and he went to gobuy a lambo, and this is like
kind of a funny story, but it'srelevant because it's all about
local star power and framing andthe male ego and how it works.
So he had an appointment, right?
To go test drive this Lambo, andhe showed up for the appointment
(04:26):
and the door to the dealershipwas locked.
And I was like bro, this salesassociate was running game on
you from the jump.
I mean, he didn't really care,but I'm just like, bro he was
making you feel less than, likeyou had to prove yourself.
He showed up, the door's locked.
It's a metaphor.
It's like you're literallylocked out.
I hold the key, the sales guyholds the key and has to let you
(04:47):
in.
So then, you know, he's alreadykind of taken back, the door's
locked and this is a man that'snot used to having to wait for
anything, or nothing's locked tohim.
He's not locked out anything.
This multimillionaire is feelinglike he needs to prove himself
to this sales associate, who's anobody, you know what I mean?
But again, it's all aboutperception and the male ego and
(05:11):
male psychology.
And so, yeah, he's at his Lamboappointment and he's like, okay,
I wanna test drive the car.
And the guy's like, mm I don'tknow about that.
we don't really just let anyonetest drive the cars unless
they're really serious aboutbuying them, are you really
serious about buying'em?
And of course, you know, my exis like what do you mean?
You know, Again, he has to provehimself to this guy and he's
(05:34):
just like, oh my God yeah, Howare you gonna tell me no?
I feel like when you tell guysno, or you make them work for
it, they want it that much more.
And I think we can all figureout what happened.
He ended up buying the Lambo,you know, and this sales
associate gets a huge commissionand it's just like from the
jump, he had it set up.
There were barriers andboundaries and he was made to
(05:56):
prove himself and that just madehim want it even more.
If he had just showed up andeasily got into the appointment,
could have driven it.
There wasn't any barrier orboundary.
If he didn't feel like he neededto prove himself, he might not
have bought it that day.
He might have been like, mm,I'll think about it.
It's like, whatever, but becausethe sales associate set it up,
like he had to prove himself andlike he wasn't good enough or he
(06:18):
wasn't worthy or X, Y, Z, hewanted it that much more.
I feel like that happens all thetime with men.
You tell them no, or you'relike, Hmm, I don't know about
you.
They feel like they have toprove themselves that much more.
So I think those two thingsreally go hand in hand.
Making them work for somethingand then when they do achieve
(06:39):
it, or they do make you happy,you commend them on it, you
know, like good boy.
You make them feel good aboutit.
Like they achieved something,men are simple, honestly.
And I don't mean that in adegrading or disrespectful way.
It's just like, this is just theway that men are, this is the
way they're designed.
Women are also a reflection ofmen and men's status.
(07:02):
The partner that a man is withcommunicates his value to the
world.
That's why they wanna showertheir girl with gifts or they
wanna get her the biggestdiamond, or they wanna make sure
she's wearing the nicest clothesor the best jewelry.
Showering a woman with gifts isnot necessarily about the woman.
And I wish I would've figuredthis out a lot sooner.
Because for me personally, Ilike nice things, but I'm not
(07:24):
super materialistic.
Like I don't really care aboutthat stuff.
I like it, but it's not superimportant.
I can't tell you how many timesI've dated guys.
They're like, oh, let's goshopping, let's do this, and I
was just like, oh, no I'm good.
I don't need it.
Like, no?
No, it's not about you.
Let them take you shopping.
Every women's love languageshould be gifts and not because
it's for you, it's for men.
(07:46):
Because men invest in womenemotionally when they
financially invest in them, whenthey spend money on them, when
they're investing theirresources in them, so when you
reject those advances or youreject their generosity or you
don't let them invest in you,then they're not investing in
(08:07):
you emotionally.
Men are less likely to leave asituation or leave their woman
or whatever.
If they've invested in therelationship, especially
financially and they have moreto lose.
If they are not investing in youfinancially, if they're not
taking care of you, if they'renot buying you gifts, if they
(08:29):
are not investing theirresources, they're not investing
their heart, that's just the waymen are.
And this is why women shouldallow themselves to be courted,
invested in and chosen.
Think of it as this maninvesting his heart and his
emotions.
It's just in a tangible way.
Men and women are different.
(08:49):
Women don't need to invest moneyand stuff into a man or into a
relationship to be emotionallyinvested, but men do.
Letting men invest in you isn'tabout being materialistic.
It's how they bond.
When men spend time, money andenergy, they get emotionally
attached.
It's just male psychology.
(09:11):
So stop saying no to beingspoiled.
You're not being greedy.
You're letting him invest inyou.
Tying all this back to how Domsub dynamics mirror real
relationships.
I feel like most relationships,I would say at least 70,
probably 80% of relationshipsare actually fem dom
relationships.
(09:32):
They just don't wanna be calledthat because the woman is
actually the one that holds therope in the relationship.
She's the one that's dominatingin the relationship.
Men are still in a powerposition because they're
investing in the relationship,but they're doing so in order to
get the validation and theappreciation and the respect of
(09:54):
the woman.
And it makes a lot of sense.
It's not saying that they're thebeta ones in the relationship.
It actually is very common,especially when guys are very
successful.
They have their own company,they're entrepreneurs, they're
investors.
They have a lot of people thatanswer to them.
They have a lot of people thatthey're responsible for.
They have a lot of stress intheir job when they're at home
(10:14):
they don't wanna be superdominant all the time, and they
also just want to be told thatthey're doing a good job and
that they're a good boy and thatthey're appreciated and valued.
From working in the industrythat I worked in, I've noticed
that like 90% of the time, guyscome into the club just because
(10:38):
they want to be appreciated,respected, valued.
They want someone they can bevulnerable with because maybe
they can't be vulnerable withtheir buddies or you know, maybe
with their wife or whatever.
They have to be this strongfront, but then that leaves
someone else that they need thatvalidation from, and so that's
why they end up going to theclub.
(11:00):
Just something to think about,if you're in a relationship and
you're not telling your man thatyou appreciate him or that you
value him, or that he's doing agood job, he's gonna need
someone else to tell him that.
The dom isn't powerful becausethey control the sub.
They're powerful because the subchooses to surrender to someone
they respect, and that choicehas to be earned.
(11:24):
So it goes both ways.
One isn't more powerful than theother.
I think that's a very commonmisconception.
There's nothing weak aboutwanting validation or being
submissive to your partner.
I feel like guys are theproviders, but they are
providing for a reason, so theycan feel validated and important
(11:47):
and that's how they valuethemselves.
Power isn't about control, it'sabout knowing your worth and
inspiring others.
That's why it's important thatwomen know their role and that
they're the inspiration for arelationship.
In relationships past, I'vealways felt like I had to be
more of a yes girl oraccommodating or you know, there
(12:11):
to make sure that he feelsvalued, but I was doing it the
wrong way.
Instead of just agreeing oraccommodating them, having them
accommodate you is actually waymore fulfilling for everybody,
and that's actually what theywant.
They want to feel like they haveto prove themselves to you.
They want to feel like they haveto work for something, and on a
(12:31):
continuous basis.
I'm not saying that you shouldnever be satisfied with what
your partner does for you, butthere is something to the
polarity and the attraction ifthey're always feeling like they
have to keep reaching for you.
Like you could walk away at anytime.
Men like that, they like thechase, they like having to work
for something.
If you are working hard forsomething and then you get it,
(12:54):
you want the next thing, itloses its value.
So it's the same kind ofprinciple.
You always want them to bereaching for you and always
working to provide and impressand seeking your respect and
validation.
You don't need to performdominance when you are the
standard.
It's not about playing games orlike power plays, it's just
(13:16):
having boundaries and standardsfor yourself and not lowering
those for anyone or any reasonand demanding that standard, and
that men or people in generalmeet that standard.
That's how you maintain yourvalue.
That's how you maintainattraction.
That's how you maintain desire.
Language like good boy reflectsemotional intelligence and quiet
(13:38):
power.
I feel like soft power is thereal flex and that's the
difference between female andmale energy.
you don't need brute force.
Quiet power, being morestrategic about things is
actually a way better strategy.
(13:59):
It just goes back to principlesof feminine energy and what
makes women attractive to men.
If a guy does something that youdon't like, instead of being
pulled outta character, justpulling back that energy and
that attention is gonna get youway further because that's what
men want, that's what they areseeking.
If they do something that youdon't like and you've already
(14:21):
like talked to them about it.
You already mentioned it, goingoff about them or crashing out.
All they're gonna see is thatyou love them and that you're
giving them attention.
Don't give them an emotionalreaction when they do something
you don't like.
Give them an emotional reactionwhen they do something you do
like, like, oh, they bought youjewelry, they did a good job on
something they made you happy orwhatever, that's when you give
(14:43):
them a big emotional reactionto.
'cause then they'll keep doingit.
Taking away energy is the worstthing that you can do to a man.
And men don't learn with words,they learn with consequences.
And so the most important thingto men and everything they do is
(15:03):
for women's attention andvalidation and respect.
So when you take that away,that's what's gonna get them to
change and that's what's gonnahave you get what you want.
The whole like, good boy yesdaddy theory, yeah it does pull
from sub dom culture that Ithink really does reflect a lot
(15:23):
of modern day relationships, ifyou think about it, but it also
just speaks to male psychologyand male ego and just the way
men operate, like male behavior.
So hopefully this was helpfuland makes sense.
(15:43):
At the end of the day, all itreally comes down to is that men
respect boundaries and theyrespect women that respect
themselves, and that set astandard.
Not just men, people in general,scarcity creates value.
Boundaries create value.
Not giving your energy so easilyor just agreeing and being a yes
girl is only gonna increase yourvalue and is only gonna increase
(16:07):
attraction and desire and evenif you haven't had this dynamic
in the past, you can change theway you move and operate when it
comes to men, and everythingwill start to change.
I've actually started toimplement some of these theories
with some of my girlfriends andwe can see immediately the way
(16:29):
that guys respond to usdifferently.
This stuff actually worksreally, really quickly.
Honestly, the way I used to movein relationships was so
different.
I feel like I always felt like Ihad to be accommodating, and it
probably comes from childhoodtrauma and people pleasing and
stuff, and that that would makeme be valued more, not just by
(16:52):
men, but by people in generaland really that makes you valued
less.
Saying no, I love saying no nowI don't get FOMO ever.
Once you start to say no tothings that aren't truly aligned
or don't light you up or youjust don't wanna do, it gets
addictive and it feels so goodand people only value you more.
(17:14):
People value people who valuetheir own time.
Especially men.
Whenever you're, thinking abouthow to operate when it comes to
men, think about what would yourhighest self do, or like a
female archetype, someone youlook up to, how would they move?
would they just say yes?
Would they be agreeable?
If you're always available,agreeable and easy to win over,
(17:37):
you're not inspiring a man.
You're babysitting his ego.
That's not chemistry, that'sconvenience, and that's a one
way to get to being taken forgranted.
Trust me.
People don't value you more whenyou do more for them.
People value you more when youdo more for yourself and
prioritize yourself.
So next time a guy or someoneyou know does something nice for
(18:03):
you, take a page out of men'sbooks and instead of being so
gracious and like oh my gosh,they're such a good person,
they're so amazing, they didthis for me.
Think, I'm so amazing.
They did this for me.
Of course they did this for me.
I'm so amazing because I'mvaluable and they're working to
impress me, cater to me, helpme.
That's how men think.
(18:23):
That's how the male brain is.
So when you're dealing with men,especially you have to think how
they think.
At the end of the day, being theprize isn't about being cold,
it's about being clear.
Set the standard, be theinspiration, and don't forget to
tell him when he earns it.
Good boy.
I know it's a little bit cheekyand a little bit different.
(18:44):
But this is definitely a theorythat I've learned recently as
I've learned a little bit moreabout sub dom culture and just
men in general.
And I've implemented some ofthese theories and they really
do work, and it makes a lot ofsense when you think about the
psychology behind it.
Anyways, thank you guys so muchfor listening, I will talk to
you guys soon.
If you like this episode, don'tforget to like, share,
(19:06):
subscribe, and send it to yourfriends, especially your
girlfriends who maybe have hadsome issues with boundaries in
the past.
And I think as a collective, weall need to step it up because
we deserve better.
Bye friends.
Love you
Welcome to Becoming Sunshine.
For those of you that know me,you know that Sunshine has been
an alias of mine for almost adecade now, and sunshine also is
me becoming my highest self, andthat's what this podcast is
about.
I'm here to help you understandyourself better and maybe learn
(00:21):
some more about myself along theway.
Thanks so much for joining me.
I'm excited.
Hey friends, welcome back toBecoming Sunshine.
So today we're talking about howsaying good boy will get you a
lot further and you'll be a lotmore successful than you ever
will saying yes daddy.
This isn't just about kink talk,it's about real relationship
(00:44):
dynamics, polarity andattraction.
The idea behind good boy versusyes daddy, reflects everyday
dynamics in dating, status andmale behavior.
Everything men do is pretty muchto impress women, to gain the
favor of women or to get theattention of women.
(01:08):
Men are driven by the desire toimpress women.
Cars, muscles, money, it's allperformance.
Everything men do is to get ourattention.
And everything we do is likejust for ourselves and for our
own happiness.
For example, going out women goout to have fun and get dressed
up and dance with their friendsand take cute pictures.
(01:28):
Guys go out to flirt with womenand find women and hit on women.
Men are praise starved, andstatus driven.
Men are a lot more insecure thanwe would think.
They're actually way moreinsecure than women.
They crave validation and theywant to feel capable,
(01:51):
successful, and chosen.
Women are valued for who theyare, their essence.
That's what female energy is.
Men are valued and men valuethemselves for what they do, so
if you're in relationship with aguy, just like loving them for
who they are and appreciatingthem for who they are, that's
not gonna do it for them.
That's the way women are, and ifyou're dating another woman,
(02:12):
that makes sense.
But men need to feel seen andappreciated for what they do,
for what they achieve and fortheir success.
That's how they valuethemselves, and so that's what
they need praise on.
So the Good Boy theory speaks totheir inner child and their
unspoken need for emotionalaffirmation.
(02:33):
It speaks to men's psychology.
Men want what other men want andcan't have.
That's what gives them theirstatus.
If something comes easy andeveryone can have it, every man
can have it, then it loses itsvalue.
Boundaries create desire.
Men want to overcome achallenge.
(02:55):
It gives them purpose, and itmakes the rewards sweeter.
If they need to prove themselvesto you or to gain your favor or
impress you or make you happy,they had to work for it.
You become more desirable tothem.
When women are always easyaccess and always say yes, yes
daddy, their value drops.
(03:18):
The value of being desired butnot easily owned.
If anyone can have it, it losesits worth.
That's basic male psychology,and it's about being the
mysterious respected muse energyversus the yes girl.
think about it, luxury brands,exclusive clubs, there's
(03:40):
barriers to entry.
Think of like Hermes bags orreally exclusive members clubs
or nightclubs or VIP sections.
If anyone could just have it orbe a part of it, it would lose
its value.
It would lose its status.
That's why when you go to luxurystores, you're treated a certain
way, you're treated like you'reless than or you have to prove
(04:03):
yourself.
I had an ex and he went to gobuy a lambo, and this is like
kind of a funny story, but it'srelevant because it's all about
local star power and framing andthe male ego and how it works.
So he had an appointment, right?
To go test drive this Lambo, andhe showed up for the appointment
(04:26):
and the door to the dealershipwas locked.
And I was like bro, this salesassociate was running game on
you from the jump.
I mean, he didn't really care,but I'm just like, bro he was
making you feel less than, likeyou had to prove yourself.
He showed up, the door's locked.
It's a metaphor.
It's like you're literallylocked out.
I hold the key, the sales guyholds the key and has to let you
(04:47):
in.
So then, you know, he's alreadykind of taken back, the door's
locked and this is a man that'snot used to having to wait for
anything, or nothing's locked tohim.
He's not locked out anything.
This multimillionaire is feelinglike he needs to prove himself
to this sales associate, who's anobody, you know what I mean?
But again, it's all aboutperception and the male ego and
(05:11):
male psychology.
And so, yeah, he's at his Lamboappointment and he's like, okay,
I wanna test drive the car.
And the guy's like, mm I don'tknow about that.
we don't really just let anyonetest drive the cars unless
they're really serious aboutbuying them, are you really
serious about buying'em?
And of course, you know, my exis like what do you mean?
You know, Again, he has to provehimself to this guy and he's
(05:34):
just like, oh my God yeah, Howare you gonna tell me no?
I feel like when you tell guysno, or you make them work for
it, they want it that much more.
And I think we can all figureout what happened.
He ended up buying the Lambo,you know, and this sales
associate gets a huge commissionand it's just like from the
jump, he had it set up.
There were barriers andboundaries and he was made to
(05:56):
prove himself and that just madehim want it even more.
If he had just showed up andeasily got into the appointment,
could have driven it.
There wasn't any barrier orboundary.
If he didn't feel like he neededto prove himself, he might not
have bought it that day.
He might have been like, mm,I'll think about it.
It's like, whatever, but becausethe sales associate set it up,
like he had to prove himself andlike he wasn't good enough or he
(06:18):
wasn't worthy or X, Y, Z, hewanted it that much more.
I feel like that happens all thetime with men.
You tell them no, or you'relike, Hmm, I don't know about
you.
They feel like they have toprove themselves that much more.
So I think those two thingsreally go hand in hand.
Making them work for somethingand then when they do achieve
(06:39):
it, or they do make you happy,you commend them on it, you
know, like good boy.
You make them feel good aboutit.
Like they achieved something,men are simple, honestly.
And I don't mean that in adegrading or disrespectful way.
It's just like, this is just theway that men are, this is the
way they're designed.
Women are also a reflection ofmen and men's status.
(07:02):
The partner that a man is withcommunicates his value to the
world.
That's why they wanna showertheir girl with gifts or they
wanna get her the biggestdiamond, or they wanna make sure
she's wearing the nicest clothesor the best jewelry.
Showering a woman with gifts isnot necessarily about the woman.
And I wish I would've figuredthis out a lot sooner.
Because for me personally, Ilike nice things, but I'm not
(07:24):
super materialistic.
Like I don't really care aboutthat stuff.
I like it, but it's not superimportant.
I can't tell you how many timesI've dated guys.
They're like, oh, let's goshopping, let's do this, and I
was just like, oh, no I'm good.
I don't need it.
Like, no?
No, it's not about you.
Let them take you shopping.
Every women's love languageshould be gifts and not because
it's for you, it's for men.
(07:46):
Because men invest in womenemotionally when they
financially invest in them, whenthey spend money on them, when
they're investing theirresources in them, so when you
reject those advances or youreject their generosity or you
don't let them invest in you,then they're not investing in
(08:07):
you emotionally.
Men are less likely to leave asituation or leave their woman
or whatever.
If they've invested in therelationship, especially
financially and they have moreto lose.
If they are not investing in youfinancially, if they're not
taking care of you, if they'renot buying you gifts, if they
(08:29):
are not investing theirresources, they're not investing
their heart, that's just the waymen are.
And this is why women shouldallow themselves to be courted,
invested in and chosen.
Think of it as this maninvesting his heart and his
emotions.
It's just in a tangible way.
Men and women are different.
(08:49):
Women don't need to invest moneyand stuff into a man or into a
relationship to be emotionallyinvested, but men do.
Letting men invest in you isn'tabout being materialistic.
It's how they bond.
When men spend time, money andenergy, they get emotionally
attached.
It's just male psychology.
(09:11):
So stop saying no to beingspoiled.
You're not being greedy.
You're letting him invest inyou.
Tying all this back to how Domsub dynamics mirror real
relationships.
I feel like most relationships,I would say at least 70,
probably 80% of relationshipsare actually fem dom
relationships.
(09:32):
They just don't wanna be calledthat because the woman is
actually the one that holds therope in the relationship.
She's the one that's dominatingin the relationship.
Men are still in a powerposition because they're
investing in the relationship,but they're doing so in order to
get the validation and theappreciation and the respect of
(09:54):
the woman.
And it makes a lot of sense.
It's not saying that they're thebeta ones in the relationship.
It actually is very common,especially when guys are very
successful.
They have their own company,they're entrepreneurs, they're
investors.
They have a lot of people thatanswer to them.
They have a lot of people thatthey're responsible for.
They have a lot of stress intheir job when they're at home
(10:14):
they don't wanna be superdominant all the time, and they
also just want to be told thatthey're doing a good job and
that they're a good boy and thatthey're appreciated and valued.
From working in the industrythat I worked in, I've noticed
that like 90% of the time, guyscome into the club just because
(10:38):
they want to be appreciated,respected, valued.
They want someone they can bevulnerable with because maybe
they can't be vulnerable withtheir buddies or you know, maybe
with their wife or whatever.
They have to be this strongfront, but then that leaves
someone else that they need thatvalidation from, and so that's
why they end up going to theclub.
(11:00):
Just something to think about,if you're in a relationship and
you're not telling your man thatyou appreciate him or that you
value him, or that he's doing agood job, he's gonna need
someone else to tell him that.
The dom isn't powerful becausethey control the sub.
They're powerful because the subchooses to surrender to someone
they respect, and that choicehas to be earned.
(11:24):
So it goes both ways.
One isn't more powerful than theother.
I think that's a very commonmisconception.
There's nothing weak aboutwanting validation or being
submissive to your partner.
I feel like guys are theproviders, but they are
providing for a reason, so theycan feel validated and important
(11:47):
and that's how they valuethemselves.
Power isn't about control, it'sabout knowing your worth and
inspiring others.
That's why it's important thatwomen know their role and that
they're the inspiration for arelationship.
In relationships past, I'vealways felt like I had to be
more of a yes girl oraccommodating or you know, there
(12:11):
to make sure that he feelsvalued, but I was doing it the
wrong way.
Instead of just agreeing oraccommodating them, having them
accommodate you is actually waymore fulfilling for everybody,
and that's actually what theywant.
They want to feel like they haveto prove themselves to you.
They want to feel like they haveto work for something, and on a
(12:31):
continuous basis.
I'm not saying that you shouldnever be satisfied with what
your partner does for you, butthere is something to the
polarity and the attraction ifthey're always feeling like they
have to keep reaching for you.
Like you could walk away at anytime.
Men like that, they like thechase, they like having to work
for something.
If you are working hard forsomething and then you get it,
(12:54):
you want the next thing, itloses its value.
So it's the same kind ofprinciple.
You always want them to bereaching for you and always
working to provide and impressand seeking your respect and
validation.
You don't need to performdominance when you are the
standard.
It's not about playing games orlike power plays, it's just
(13:16):
having boundaries and standardsfor yourself and not lowering
those for anyone or any reasonand demanding that standard, and
that men or people in generalmeet that standard.
That's how you maintain yourvalue.
That's how you maintainattraction.
That's how you maintain desire.
Language like good boy reflectsemotional intelligence and quiet
(13:38):
power.
I feel like soft power is thereal flex and that's the
difference between female andmale energy.
you don't need brute force.
Quiet power, being morestrategic about things is
actually a way better strategy.
(13:59):
It just goes back to principlesof feminine energy and what
makes women attractive to men.
If a guy does something that youdon't like, instead of being
pulled outta character, justpulling back that energy and
that attention is gonna get youway further because that's what
men want, that's what they areseeking.
If they do something that youdon't like and you've already
(14:21):
like talked to them about it.
You already mentioned it, goingoff about them or crashing out.
All they're gonna see is thatyou love them and that you're
giving them attention.
Don't give them an emotionalreaction when they do something
you don't like.
Give them an emotional reactionwhen they do something you do
like, like, oh, they bought youjewelry, they did a good job on
something they made you happy orwhatever, that's when you give
(14:43):
them a big emotional reactionto.
'cause then they'll keep doingit.
Taking away energy is the worstthing that you can do to a man.
And men don't learn with words,they learn with consequences.
And so the most important thingto men and everything they do is
(15:03):
for women's attention andvalidation and respect.
So when you take that away,that's what's gonna get them to
change and that's what's gonnahave you get what you want.
The whole like, good boy yesdaddy theory, yeah it does pull
from sub dom culture that Ithink really does reflect a lot
(15:23):
of modern day relationships, ifyou think about it, but it also
just speaks to male psychologyand male ego and just the way
men operate, like male behavior.
So hopefully this was helpfuland makes sense.
(15:43):
At the end of the day, all itreally comes down to is that men
respect boundaries and theyrespect women that respect
themselves, and that set astandard.
Not just men, people in general,scarcity creates value.
Boundaries create value.
Not giving your energy so easilyor just agreeing and being a yes
girl is only gonna increase yourvalue and is only gonna increase
(16:07):
attraction and desire and evenif you haven't had this dynamic
in the past, you can change theway you move and operate when it
comes to men, and everythingwill start to change.
I've actually started toimplement some of these theories
with some of my girlfriends andwe can see immediately the way
(16:29):
that guys respond to usdifferently.
This stuff actually worksreally, really quickly.
Honestly, the way I used to movein relationships was so
different.
I feel like I always felt like Ihad to be accommodating, and it
probably comes from childhoodtrauma and people pleasing and
stuff, and that that would makeme be valued more, not just by
(16:52):
men, but by people in generaland really that makes you valued
less.
Saying no, I love saying no nowI don't get FOMO ever.
Once you start to say no tothings that aren't truly aligned
or don't light you up or youjust don't wanna do, it gets
addictive and it feels so goodand people only value you more.
(17:14):
People value people who valuetheir own time.
Especially men.
Whenever you're, thinking abouthow to operate when it comes to
men, think about what would yourhighest self do, or like a
female archetype, someone youlook up to, how would they move?
would they just say yes?
Would they be agreeable?
If you're always available,agreeable and easy to win over,
(17:37):
you're not inspiring a man.
You're babysitting his ego.
That's not chemistry, that'sconvenience, and that's a one
way to get to being taken forgranted.
Trust me.
People don't value you more whenyou do more for them.
People value you more when youdo more for yourself and
prioritize yourself.
So next time a guy or someoneyou know does something nice for
(18:03):
you, take a page out of men'sbooks and instead of being so
gracious and like oh my gosh,they're such a good person,
they're so amazing, they didthis for me.
Think, I'm so amazing.
They did this for me.
Of course they did this for me.
I'm so amazing because I'mvaluable and they're working to
impress me, cater to me, helpme.
That's how men think.
(18:23):
That's how the male brain is.
So when you're dealing with men,especially you have to think how
they think.
At the end of the day, being theprize isn't about being cold,
it's about being clear.
Set the standard, be theinspiration, and don't forget to
tell him when he earns it.
Good boy.
I know it's a little bit cheekyand a little bit different.
(18:44):
But this is definitely a theorythat I've learned recently as
I've learned a little bit moreabout sub dom culture and just
men in general.
And I've implemented some ofthese theories and they really
do work, and it makes a lot ofsense when you think about the
psychology behind it.
Anyways, thank you guys so muchfor listening, I will talk to
you guys soon.
If you like this episode, don'tforget to like, share,
(19:06):
subscribe, and send it to yourfriends, especially your
girlfriends who maybe have hadsome issues with boundaries in
the past.
And I think as a collective, weall need to step it up because
we deserve better.
Bye friends.
Love you
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