Loneliness is quietly becoming one of the biggest struggles inside the church. Many believers feel isolated, unseen, or disconnected—especially heading into the holiday season. In this episode of Behind the Mike Podcast, Mike breaks down why loneliness is so widespread, why Christians rarely admit they feel this way, and how Jesus Himself understands deep isolation.
You’ll hear:
• The difference between loneliness and simply being alone
• Why digital connection is replacing emotional connection
• The three reasons believers hide their loneliness
• How loneliness reshapes identity, hope, and spiritual health
• How Jesus pursued lonely people throughout Scripture
• Practical steps to overcome loneliness—both spiritually and relationally
If you’re feeling lonely today, you’re not weak, broken, or forgotten. Jesus draws close to the lonely—and there is hope, healing, and community waiting for you.
Type “pray for me” in the comments and Mike will pray for you personally.
🙏 You’re not walking through this season alone.
https://behindthemike.net
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#EmotionalHealth #HolidaySeasonStruggles #JesusSeesYou #SpiritualGrowth #ChurchCommunity
#ChristianMentalHealth #LonelyButNotAlone #ChristianMotivation #PrayForMe
Chapters:
00:00 — The Holiday Season & Hidden Loneliness
00:31 — Even Jesus Faced Loneliness
01:15 — Overstimulated but Under-Supported
02:21 — Why Churches Struggle With Loneliness
02:59 — 3 Reasons Christians Don’t Admit They’re Lonely
04:28 — How Church Culture Gets Community Wrong
05:00 — What Loneliness Does to Your Soul
06:46 — The Loneliest People Are Often the Most Capable
07:11 — How Jesus Responded to Lonely People
09:35 — How to Heal From Loneliness (Biblical + Practical)
11:18 — Loneliness Doesn’t Mean You’re Weak
12:31 — How Vulnerability Breaks Isolation
13:07 — Final Encouragement & Prayer Invitation
Episode Transcript
Hey my friends, we areheading into the holiday season
and it's a time of Thanksgiving,joy, peace, love
and spending time with others.
However, for far too manyit is a season of loneliness.
And the truth is,most Christians won't admit
when they're lonely until painbecomes unbearable.
(00:22):
Because we've conditionedourselves to believe that
somehow lonelinessis a character flaw or maybe
a spiritual weakness.
But we know that Jesushimself experienced
deep, crushing lonelinessin Gethsemane on the cross.
Even in his ministry,when the crowds disappeared.
(00:44):
Loneliness is not failure.
Loneliness is a human conditionthat even the Son
of God experienced.
It's a widespread problemand one that is
so often ignored.
So let's dig inand talk about this
important issue.
You might be surprisedto find out who is
(01:05):
affected by it.
Hey, I want to thank youfor joining us on this
important issue.
Loneliness now is not the sameas being alone.
A person can live alone and feelcompletely at peace.
(01:26):
And yet a personcan be surrounded by others
and feel deeply isolated.
So, you know, we're livingin this tension.
Those who are lonelyare overstimulated but under
supported.
They receive textsand notifications
and messages, butthere's very little meaningful
(01:48):
connection.
So digital proximityhas replaced emotional
closeness.
Their live stage intensifiesisolation.
Kids are grown or almost grown.
Their friend circleshave shrunk.
Work relationships feel shallow.
Marriage may be strainedor routine.
(02:11):
Aging parents add stress.
They're carrying more weightwith fewer people in their inner
circle.
Churches don't knowhow to address loneliness.
Look, churches are greatat gathering people,
but not always greatat connecting people.
(02:31):
Most churchesmeasure attendance,
not belonging.
Christians rarely say the wordsI'm lonely because we
fear judgment.
We fear being seenas spiritually immature,
or we fear being the only onewho feels this way.
But the truth is, most peoplein the room are fighting
(02:54):
the same invisible loneliness.
So I want to share three reasonsthat Christians rarely admit
that they're lonely.
Hopefully this will help usto understand deeper
if we're not experiencing thator selves.
So, number one, we interpretloneliness as spiritual failure.
(03:15):
Many Christiansthink if I trusted God more,
I wouldn't feel this way.
Or they might think if my faithwere stronger, I wouldn't
feel disconnectedor even shouldn't
Jesus be enough?
But God didn't design us to berelationally self-sufficient,
even in Eden right fromthe start.
(03:37):
A perfect world, no sin,full access to God.
And he still said it is not goodfor man to be alone.
Adam wasn't lonely because helacked faith.
He was lonely because he lackedanother human being.
Reason number two Christiansfear vulnerability.
(03:59):
Most of us do.
Most people don't want to bethe first to admit weakness.
And the older we get,the more pain we've lived
through, the more betrayalor heartbreak we've seen
and the harder it becomesto trust people with
our real selves.
So we keep conversations ata surface level.
(04:21):
How are you?
Fine.
Just busy.
And we die on the inside.
Reason number three the churchculture confuses friendliness
with community.
Friendliness feelslike connection, but it's not.
A smile on Sunday isnot the same as someone
(04:43):
showing up on a Wednesdaynight with dinner,
because they knew you werediscouraged.
Many churches today arerelationally shallow,
their program heavier,overly polite, but emotionally
distant.
And I'm not picking onany one church.
I think that's just a generalgood statement you can attend
(05:04):
for years.
You can know everybody'sfaces and names,
but still never be truly known.
Most churches will say, well,that's because you're not
getting involved, butnonetheless it's happening.
So what does loneliness actuallydo to your soul?
Well, loneliness isn't justa feeling.
(05:24):
This is important.
It reshapes your inner world.
Loneliness twists your identity.
You begin to confuse silencewith abandonment.
You interpret a lack of supportas a lack of worth.
And let me tell you,we've talked about this
in the past.
(05:44):
The enemy loves this.
Satan's first attack is almostalways identity.
Things like you're alonebecause you're unlovable.
You're forgotten because youdon't matter.
You're isolated becauseyou're broken.
Loneliness createsspace for lies to sound
(06:06):
like truth.
Second, lonelinesschips away at hope.
It makes you believe things likeit's always going
to be this way.
No one would ever trust me orno one understands.
Even strong believers hear me.
Even strong believers,pastors, leaders,
(06:29):
faithful people can lose hopewhen loneliness stretches
into months or years.
Three loneliness often hidesbehind competence.
Some of them, some of theloneliest people, are the
most capable.
Think about that.
They they lead ministries.
(06:49):
They raise families.
They serve others.
They do their jobswith excellence.
But because they're competent,nobody checks on them.
Nobody asks how they're doing.
Nobody assumes they might behurting, too.
You can be needed by everyone,but known by no one.
(07:12):
Pastors out therewho may be watching totally can
relate to this.
So let's talk about howJesus responded
to lonely people.
Jesus didn't ignorelonely people.
He pursued them.
One example the womanat the well.
Jesus went out of his way,literally miles out of his way
(07:35):
to meet a woman who wasavoided by her entire community.
He didn't start withher sin either.
He started with her story.
How about another onethat we learned
as young children?
If you were in church,Zacchaeus.
He wasn't just a sinner.
He was isolated,rejected, despised.
(07:57):
And Jesus didn't say,come, follow me.
He said, I'm comingto your house today.
Jesus started with presence,not pressure.
Here's another one.
The leper.
Look, no one had touchedhim in years.
(08:18):
Before Jesus healed him, Jesustouched him.
Physical touch came beforethe miracle.
One of my favorite stories.
The disciples in the storm.
They thought they wereabandoned.
Jesus met them in the storm,not after.
(08:39):
And Jesus himself experienceddeep loneliness.
His closest friendsfell asleep on him.
One betrayed him.
One denied him the rest.
They all ran away on the cross.
Think about this.
On the cross, he cried.
My God, why have you forsakenme?
(09:00):
Jesus knows lonelinessfrom the inside.
That's why he's gentlewith lonely people.
So how do people healfrom loneliness?
Both the biblicaland the practical.
First of all, acknowledge itwithout shame.
(09:21):
Loneliness losessome of its power
when it's named.
Pretending you're not lonely.
Only prolongs the ache.
Number two build communityintentionally, not accidentally.
Adults don't drift into deeprelationships.
Look, kids make friendsnaturally.
Adults have to do itdeliberately.
(09:41):
Ask yourself,who could I pursue?
Where can I plug in?
What can I initiate?
A single coffee can changeentire season of life.
Number three.
Practice the courageof vulnerability.
This is a hard one.
(10:02):
You don't have to dump your soulout to everyone, but you need
one person who truly knows you.
And vulnerability is risky.
But you know what?
Isolation is fatal.
Number four, reengagewith your God given purpose.
Loneliness oftenshrinks our world.
(10:24):
Purpose pushes the wallsback out.
Serving others is one of themost powerful ways to reconnect
with community and breakspiritual isolation.
Number five return to connectionwith Jesus.
But don't use him to avoidrelationships.
Yes, Jesus is enough,but Jesus himself sought
(10:48):
human connection.
He built communitywith imperfect people.
He modeled friendship.
He ate with others,and he walked with others.
Following Jesus meansconnecting deeply with God
and with people.
I'm an introvert.
(11:09):
I love time alone.
I need time alone.
But if you're lonely today,let me say this
as gently as I can.
Loneliness does not mean you'respiritually weak.
It doesn't mean that God hasabandoned you.
And it certainly doesn't meanyou are unlovable.
(11:30):
What it does mean isyou're human.
It means your heart is workingproperly, and it means God
is preparing you for deeperrelationships with him
and with others.
Jesus sees you.
Jesus is with you.
And Jesus draws closeto the lonely.
(11:55):
You don't have to walkthis season alone.
If you've been feelinglonely lately, type pray for me
in the comments.
I will pray for you.
Every single one of you.
And I want you to understandthat stepping out makes all
(12:15):
the difference in the world.
Again, we go back tofinding someone that you
can pursue, someone that youconnect with and carefully
dip your toe in the waterof vulnerability.
Let them know whoyou really are.
We don't have tohave this facade.
(12:38):
For brothers and sistersin Christ.
We need to be vulnerable.
So don't forget,if you're lonely
and you would like some prayertype, pray for me
in the comments and Iwill make sure that I do that.
Hey, thank you for watching.
As we jump intothe holiday season, if you're
(12:59):
one of those who are lonely,just know that you're not alone
and know that you don'thave to be lonely.
God's there for youand so are others.
We just have to make the effortto step out and meet
one another.
Let's get to know one anotherand make this holiday season one
(13:21):
that's not full of loneliness.
Thanks again for watching.
We'll see you next timeon Behind the Mike Podcast.
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