February 5, 2025 • 29 mins
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Trust is in crisis. With AI replacing human interaction, businesses are overpromising and underdelivering, and skepticism is at an all-time high. Earning client trust has never been more challenging. This trust deficit can make landing clients even more complicated if you're a consultant selling expertise instead of a tangible product.
So, how do you establish credibility in a world where people don't know who to believe? What unique challenges do women of color face in building trust with clients? And most importantly, how can you turn trust into your greatest business asset?
In this episode, we explore the trust economy, what it is, why it's more critical than ever, and how you can position yourself as a trusted authority in your industry. If you've ever felt like you had to prove yourself twice as hard just to be taken seriously, this conversation is for you.
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For more information, visit https://excelatconsulting.com/
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Black Girls Consult 2.
This is your go-to podcast forwomen who are looking to build
thriving consulting businessesin an industry that was not
necessarily built with us inmind.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and today we're going to
dive into something that canmake or break our consulting
(00:22):
businesses, and you may bewondering what that is.
It is something that we want inany relationship, and that is
trust.
Trust is really at an all-timelow.
Right now, at a bottom low.
Right now, we are living in aworld where AI is starting to
(00:43):
replace a lot of the humaninteraction that we've had in
the past.
Media is controlling a lot ofwhat we see, think and hear, and
businesses are really pushingproducts and even services that
we aren't even sure if they work.
So people are more skepticalnow than they have ever been
(01:06):
before, and what does that meanto us?
It means that it makes sellingconsulting services something
that's completely intangible,meaning that they can't touch it
, they can't feel it, they can'tsee it.
It makes selling that even morechallenging.
So what I want us to talk abouttoday is how do we begin to
(01:27):
thrive in an environment wheretrust is in short supply, and I
want us to have this discussiontoday, but not just today.
This will be a theme for us fora few episodes, because I want
to break down how we are able tobuild trust and capitalize on
it as it being our most valuableasset and, most importantly,
(01:51):
how do we build on that in theface of everything that we have
to overcome, such as biases andskepticism, all the things.
So let's get started.
I don't know if you realizethis, or maybe you've just never
given it any thought, but trustis very powerful in business.
(02:13):
As a matter of fact, there wasan article that I was reading
recently from the Atlantic thatand I'm going to read this quote
it said that trust is, andalways has been, at the core of
the economy, and when you thinkabout it, that's very true.
People buy from and work withpeople that they trust.
Think about your life.
(02:34):
If you're hiring, for instance,a painter to redo your living
room, you don't just pick arandom name out of the hat.
I mean, back in the day, maybewe would search the yellow pages
.
I'm telling my age right now tofind someone, but in most cases
, what you're going to do isyou're going to look for reviews
, you're going to see what otherpeople have said.
(02:54):
You're going to ask people forrecommendations, or you're going
to go with someone who you'veworked with before, or someone
who may have done the house nextto you or down the street.
You're looking for evidencethat they can be trusted.
Or, if you're choosing a doctor, you're trusting that their
(03:16):
expertise is going to lead tothe right diagnosis for you,
which is extremely important inyour life and your treatment.
And if you're looking for adaycare provider to take care of
your newborn baby, you need toknow without a shadow of a doubt
that your child is going to besafe.
I know how I was when I wassearching for someone to care
for my girls.
I would look high and low forthe best facility.
(03:41):
I didn't want them to have anytype of negative incident or any
type of negative write-up thatI could find.
I wanted to make sure theperson was extremely caring.
I wanted someone that wouldtreat them well and that I knew
and could trust that they wouldbe cared for.
So a lot of the decisions thatwe make are rarely just about
(04:04):
logic, and this is true in ourpersonal lives as consumers, but
it's also true even when youthink about decisions that are
going to be made on a corporatelevel, there still is a level of
trust that's needed.
It's one of the reasons whyreferrals tend to be a major way
that people acquire businessbecause someone wants to know
(04:26):
that they can trust you to dothe work.
Trust is really the thing thatbridges the gap between
uncertainty in terms of theoutcome that you're going to
receive and you taking action towork with that person.
So trust is big, and this samething applies to us in
consulting.
(04:46):
If we're going to have a clientthat's going to pay us to come
to their business to assesstheir challenges, get all into
the back ends of their business,know all their dirty financial
secrets, whatever it may be, andprovide solutions, they have to
trust us.
They have to be able to trustthat.
So that means that we have tohave the expertise to deliver
(05:12):
the result.
We need to be able tounderstand their needs right and
act in their best interest.
And then we need to be who wesay that we are, and the
challenge is that trust isn'tsomething that's freely given.
It's not easy to earn trust, andfor us as women especially
women of color in consultingtypically the bar is set higher
(05:35):
for a number of differentreasons.
So when we think about trust, Ijust want to make sure that
we're on the same page inconsidering the fact that trust
plays a major role in ourability to do business.
Let's just be real when itcomes to trust and credibility,
the playing field is not level.
(05:57):
There is a research that hasshown that women, particularly
women of color, have had toprove our competence over and
over again in ways that otherpeople don't.
So there is not that trust thatis given, especially in the
instances where women are tryingto build their name and their
(06:18):
reputation in the consultingindustry.
Biases and stereotypes createobstacles that can make it
harder to establish this trust,because decision makers and
stakeholders may have their ownpreconceived notions before we
even get to the table.
So being able to garner trustis hard.
(06:38):
Women in leadership are oftenjudged more harshly when they
assert their expertise.
What is that name that we'reoften called behind closed doors
?
When we're trying to be moreassertive right that B word
there are instances where Blackwomen in particularly are
(06:58):
frequently labeled as beingaggressive or angry the angry
Black woman when we're justsimply trying to be direct and
more confident.
And then when you just look atthe fact that women of color are
less likely to even be seen asexperts to start with.
So if you're not even seen asan expert, although you have the
(07:21):
credentials, the experience tolive up to every aspect of that
title, then it's hard to eventhink about how you have these
conversations around trust whenyou're not even put into the
same category.
So there are a number ofobstacles that are often in our
way, but it does not mean thatwe can't overcome them.
(07:45):
We just have to be intentionalwhen it comes to building trust.
We can't rely on the fact thatit's going to come.
We can't rely on the assumptionthat people are just going to
give it to us.
It may not be that way, so wehave to have a way that we can
intentionally and morestrategically develop that trust
, and develop trust in a waythat is going to return to us
(08:08):
financially.
I just want to take this quickbreak to thank you for tuning in
to Black Girls Consult 2.
If you are enjoying thisepisode or have enjoyed any
episodes in the past, I wouldlove it if you could leave your
five-star review on ApplePodcasts or Spotify and share
this episode and this podcastwith a friend, your help in
(08:29):
getting the word out about thispodcast will help it grow and
reach more and more people whotruly need this information to
have a consulting business thatthrives in this year and the
years moving forward.
Okay, back to the episode Now.
I know you're probably thinkingI hear you when you're talking
about all the challenges thatwe're facing.
(08:50):
I'm feeling it, I've lived it.
I understand where you'recoming from, dr Angelina, but
how do we build this trust?
Where do we start in terms ofbeing able to build and maintain
the trust that we need?
And one of the places that Ialways like to go to, because I
am just a Harvard BusinessReview lover.
I just love many of thewrite-ups and the summaries
(09:12):
there.
Just, I don't know, I'm biased,but either way, there was a
great framework that waspresented in a Harvard Business
Review article on the trusttriangle, and I thought that it
really encapsulated everythingthat we need in order to
establish trust in the businessrelationships that we're trying
(09:34):
to form, and how they describethis trust triangle.
Of course, it has three sidesor three key drivers, and those
are authenticity, empathy andlogic, and so, in order for us
to establish and maintain trust,we need to have those three
things.
Authenticity, meaning are weshowing up as ourselves, who we
(09:57):
really and genuinely are?
Empathy do we feel that we careabout our clients and their
success?
Do we really care about whathappens to them and to their
businesses?
And then logic do we have theknowledge and the ability to
deliver the results that we saythat we can deliver?
(10:17):
And when you think about it,whenever trust breaks down in
any relationship, I will arguetrust breaks down in any
relationship, I will argue isusually because one of these
elements, one of these sides,becomes a bit wobbly, as they
would describe it, meaning it'snot coming across clearly to the
(10:38):
people you want to work with.
There's something about eitheryour expression of authenticity,
of empathy or logic that isshaky, just shaky, and we want
to keep it in just real, plainterms.
So let's talk about this andbreak this down Now.
When we talk about authenticity, I feel like that's often used
as a catchphrase.
We hear that word so often Beauthentic, show up as yourself,
(11:01):
be the real you.
And, yes, people want to knowthat they're working with the
real you.
They don't want to feel as ifthey're working with someone
that's putting on a show orputting up a facade and telling
them or selling them somethingthat is not representative of
who they truly are.
(11:22):
Think about how we felt, even inrecent days, recording this in
the beginning of the year, andas we watch all of the talk
about diversity, equity andinclusion, dei unraveling and
being torn down, at least as aterm and as a structure as we
know it or knew it before.
(11:42):
Those are instances where manyof the businesses that have
decided to get rid of their DEIprograms we felt a breach of
trust, right, because theauthenticity piece them showing
up as who they really are seemsto not have been the case.
(12:03):
We were misled.
We thought that thosebusinesses, aka Target, we
thought that they representedsomething different and so when
we see that they are takingthese programs away, things that
we thought were embedded in thevalues of who they actually
were as a business and a company, that is problematic for many
(12:25):
of us as consumers.
So we don't want to havebusinesses see us in that light.
We want people to know thatthey're working with a real
person who is authentically whothey are, whether it is in front
of the camera or off the camera, whether they are seeing us in
the middle of a meeting or theydon't see us at all and we're
(12:46):
negotiating on their behalf wemay want to know that they can
trust us and that we're notputting on an act.
And although this sounds rathereasy for many of us to do
because I do believe that weoften feel as if we are being
authentic in our practice For usas women and women of color
(13:06):
especially many of us have beenconditioned to hold a lot of who
we are back.
We have been conditioned bycorporate to show up in these
professional settings and besomebody else.
We code switch, we soften ourvoices to avoid sounding too
aggressive, we shrink ourselvesso we don't come across as being
(13:31):
intimidating.
I remember when I was intraining, one of my advisors had
a sit down talk with me and oneof the things that he shared
and he was a cisgender whitemale one of the things that he
shared with me was thatoftentimes when I would
communicate, I came across asbeing very intimidating, and it
(13:55):
was such a weird discussion thatI had with him that day because
in my mind I was likeintimidating.
I have the biggest smile always, and actually my smile has
often been something that I'veseen as not necessarily a
weakness.
But I felt other people judgeme because I smiled a lot.
Like often, if you smile,people think that you're not as
(14:17):
strong, and so for me, I wasjust taken aback, that he
thought that I was intimidatingand that he was implying that my
being intimidating wasproblematic in our environment,
there, in working, in training.
So I began to soften myapproach.
(14:38):
I did all of those things thatI'm saying, that we have been
conditioned to do.
I have lived it.
I have lived it.
I have done it.
I continue to still fight topull myself away from a lot of
the corporate conditioning thatI've experienced over the years,
which is why I talk a lot abouthow corporate conditioning and
corporate trauma can play a hugerole in how we show up in our
(15:00):
businesses, and it cannegatively impact our businesses
because it does things likethis, which is break down trust
because we're not beingauthentically who we are or who,
I would even argue, god calledus to be.
So we have to break and movepast that, and it's not always
easy to do it, the more and morethat you can lean into,
(15:25):
embracing your unique voice,your perspective and your lived
experience, those things thatyou know to be true because you
have lived through them.
That's what's going to make youdifferent.
That's what's going to makeyour expertise more valuable to
some clients than others.
It's what is going to return toyou in dollars and cents, right
(15:48):
?
So we have to work on thiswhole aspect of showing up more
authentically and really pushingpast many of the limitations
that we have formed out ofnecessity of survival in many of
our corporate spaces.
So authenticity is one areawhere we may unintentionally
(16:12):
break trust, and the second iswith empathy, and empathy is
just all about showing that youcare.
It, honestly, is making theclient feel like you only care
about them, that you're notfocused on just getting paid,
because if you're focused onjust getting paid, they're not
(16:34):
going to trust you.
It's one of the reasons why,when people reach out to you and
may cold call, a cold message,and immediately they just start
talking about their services,you don't trust them.
Often you don't want to hearanything else they have to say,
and the reason is because theirinitial interaction with you has
already breached trust.
Because they are not beingempathetic.
(16:57):
They have not shown that theycare about you, and this is why
some of the biggest consultingfirms I always think about
McKinsey and Company have facedserious backlash over the years.
Mckinsey and Company took ahuge hit because they were seen
as prioritizing profits overclient well-being.
(17:18):
They were focused on makingmoney, doing things that brought
money in the door instead ofensuring that their clients were
safe and protected.
At least, those were the claims.
Now I'm not here to argue.
I don't work behind the scenesor have never worked for that
organization, but this is whatnumerous headlines were being
(17:39):
published in recent years.
This is what they were saying.
This is the conversation thatpeople were having.
It was all about how they wereprioritizing profits over
clients.
And then when this trust isbroken on that scale, at that
level, it begins to trickle downto the rest of the industry.
(18:00):
So, unknowingly, many of us havefaced scrutiny because
organizations have watched theselarger firms breach that trust.
They've watched them end up insituations that make them
question their interaction withyou.
How do you differentiateyourself?
How do you begin to showclients that I'm not like them,
(18:22):
right, I'm not like them, I'mdifferent, and that all starts
with being client-centered?
The more you can show that youcare about the success and the
well-being of your clients, andnot just a paycheck, not just
getting the most money out ofthem, not just getting them to
sign on at all costs.
(18:43):
The more you can becomeclient-centered and remain
client-centered, the more trustyou're going to build.
That is the whole essence ofempathy, and it's all about you
asking thoughtful questions,being concerned about what's
happening in their world,listening more than you speak,
(19:06):
making recommendations thatactually serve their best
interests.
And here's the hard part even ifit hurts yours, even if it
means turning down the workbecause it's not a right fit for
you.
This can be hard when you havebills to pay, when you have a
company to run because it's nota right fit for you.
This can be hard when you havebills to pay, when you have a
(19:28):
company to run, if you have anyemployees, if you have overhead
expenses, whatever it may bethat is on your plate.
It can be hard to turn someonedown when you feel like, oh well
, I can do an okay job solvingthis problem.
I'm not the best at it, but Ican do okay, I can.
I'll take that on, because theperson is desperate for help.
(19:50):
But in those moments, that'swhere true empathy has to arise.
And we have to say I'm not thebest at this particular issue
and because of that, I'm goingto either lead you in another
direction or I'm going to bevery honest and transparent
about what I know and what I canoffer, and if we still work
(20:11):
together and collaborate, I'mgoing to do my best to show up
in excellence and get you tothat end result.
However, these are the thingsthat we're going to have to
navigate through.
That may be a little bitdifficult and sticky.
Those are ways that you canstep into this empathetic role
and position and begin to buildtrust instead of breaking it
away.
And then the last is logic, andlogic is all about proving that
(20:36):
you can deliver.
It's the proof, it's theevidence.
Clients need to feel confidentthat you know your stuff, that
you are not just faking it andgetting by, that you are going
to actually show up and deliver.
And I feel as if logic took ahuge hit during the pandemic,
(20:56):
when a lot of businesses wentonline.
It became really easy for a fewyears for online businesses to
thrive.
It's a lot different now thanit was before, but at that time,
people were eager to find help,as there was a crisis.
There was just kind ofeverything burning down around
us and we were trying to figureout how to navigate it.
(21:17):
People needed help and thenthere was a lot of access
because everybody was online.
It was easy to grab your laptopand say you were an expert and
this, that and the other, andget your business started and
start selling packages, right.
But during that time, a lot ofpeople were burned.
And, getting back to what I wassaying before, the result of
(21:38):
that has led us to this periodwhere we are living with a lot
of skepticism and it's difficultto build and gain trust.
So, when you're focusing onlogic, this means staying in
your lane, focusing on yourstrengths, speaking on what you
(21:58):
actually know and can do, owning, like I stated before, when you
don't know everything, becauseno one knows everything.
So owning that and being honestwhen something is outside your
expertise, you'll be surprisedat the number of people that
will continue to work with you,and I've had this happen a
number of times.
They will continue to work withyou because you have been
(22:21):
honest about your strengths andyour expertise and what you may
not know, because in that moment, they know that if you are not
knowledgeable enough, you'regoing to point them in the right
direction to find theadditional help or you're going
to secure the additional helpand that you're honest enough to
tell them that you can't do it,and they trust that that's
(22:44):
actually probably the thing thatsold them the most on your
business.
So remaining honest is key toreally being able to grow this
logic piece, this logic arm.
And then the one thing that Iwill harp on until the end of
(23:04):
time is that when you focus onconstantly improving your craft,
mastering your craft, masteringyour practice, mastering
becoming the best consultantthat you can be, then it's easy
for you to show up as anundeniable authority.
That's easy and people believeit.
(23:24):
Why?
Because you are mastering it.
You're not shifting messagesover and over again, you are not
being inconsistent, you are notfabricating stories.
You are showing up in a waythat they have confidence that
you're going to do the work,you're going to deliver, you're
(23:45):
going to always be there.
They can trust you with thismajor investment.
There have been far too manypeople that have been
over-promising andunder-delivering.
They are not meetingexpectations, and so our goal is
not to just meet expectations,but to exceed expectations, and
that's the way that we overcomethis skepticism.
If we focus on consistentlydelivering high-quality work,
(24:10):
the results are going to speakfor themselves.
The results are going to speaklouder than any words that we
can say.
So those three pillars theauthenticity, the empathy and
the logic those are thecomponents that go together to
help us build the trust that weneed.
(24:31):
We need to show up as our realselves.
We need to show clients that wecare about their success first
and foremost, not just the money.
And then we need to deliver.
Deliver real results and ownour expertise.
And the thing is that whenwe're able to do these things,
we elevate our reputation.
You become known for yourspecialty.
(24:54):
You become known as a personwho can get things done, and the
fact that you elevate yourreputation as the person that is
known for generating aparticular result you're going
to attract more high qualityclients.
They're going to come to youbecause there are a lot of
things that are going to attractmore high quality clients.
They're going to come to youbecause there are a lot of
things that are going to begoing on in the background that
(25:15):
you're not seeing.
You're not going to be seeingthe word of mouth from the
person telling someone elsetheir colleague, their friend of
the wonderful work that they'vedone with you.
You're going to also get theoutcomes the benefit of the
outcomes that are seen assomeone else looks at a business
that they envy, or maybethey're competing against and
(25:37):
they want that similar result.
You're going to have all thesedifferent things working in the
background for you as a resultof the fact that you elevated
your reputation and then,ultimately, all of this leads to
greater trust that increasesthe financial success of your
business.
(25:58):
It honestly goes back to trustand that's why we are living in
a trust economy.
So, as we close, I want you tothink about how you can do a
trust check in for your business.
Seriously ask yourself Am Ishowing up authentically or am I
(26:20):
holding back in some way andchallenge yourself to think
about the barriers that mayexist.
Because you have been incorporate or been in a
professional environment for solong and you know what helps me
do this.
When I run this trust checkcheck-in for myself, I always
think about how do I show upwhen I'm getting off work or
(26:46):
when I am free on the weekend,when I am free on the weekend.
If I'm completely differentduring those periods of time,
then I know that there'ssomething about how I'm
presenting myself in the work,corporate, professional
environment.
That needs to change.
That's not authentically who Iam.
(27:06):
Fully Ask yourself do my clientsfeel like I genuinely I mean
genuinely care about theirsuccess?
My hope is that any client Ihave ever served, even those who
may not have paid me a dime ifyou're listening to this podcast
right now, if you tune into awebinar, if you look at anything
(27:26):
on social media, if you haveinteracted with me on threads,
in any aspect of our interactionit is my hope that I am showing
that I genuinely care aboutyour success, that I do this
because I care.
Those are the things that wehave to ask ourselves.
And oh and one more askyourself am I clearly
(27:47):
communicating my expertise anddelivering results?
Are you communicating what youcan do, meaning sharing
everything that you can offer,and then, are you delivering on
that?
And if you're not, we got tostart doing it.
But if you are, how can we takethat up to the next level?
(28:07):
If you do this trust check-inoften because it's not a
one-time fix then you willalways ensure that you remain in
alignment along your businessjourney, because if we're seeing
a trust wobble, that meansthere's a breakdown in one of
those three areas right, then.
(28:28):
That's where you have to startworking.
That's where you need to focus.
If you found this episodehelpful, I want you to make sure
you subscribe to the podcastand share it with another woman
in consulting who needs to hearit.
Next time we're going to diveinto how we start to build this
trust from day one.
This is giving you thegroundwork in terms of what the
(28:51):
trust economy is, why it'simportant and how do we begin to
think about trust and theelements that create the trust.
But next I want us to talkabout how we start off from day
one, building the trust that weneed.
So you don't want to miss that,and until then, I want you to
keep showing up, keep servingand keep building trust with the
(29:11):
clients that you want to serve,and I'll see you next time.
Take care.
Welcome to Black Girls Consult 2.
This is your go-to podcast forwomen who are looking to build
thriving consulting businessesin an industry that was not
necessarily built with us inmind.
I'm your host, dr AngelinaDavis, and today we're going to
dive into something that canmake or break our consulting
(00:22):
businesses, and you may bewondering what that is.
It is something that we want inany relationship, and that is
trust.
Trust is really at an all-timelow.
Right now, at a bottom low.
Right now, we are living in aworld where AI is starting to
(00:43):
replace a lot of the humaninteraction that we've had in
the past.
Media is controlling a lot ofwhat we see, think and hear, and
businesses are really pushingproducts and even services that
we aren't even sure if they work.
So people are more skepticalnow than they have ever been
(01:06):
before, and what does that meanto us?
It means that it makes sellingconsulting services something
that's completely intangible,meaning that they can't touch it
, they can't feel it, they can'tsee it.
It makes selling that even morechallenging.
So what I want us to talk abouttoday is how do we begin to
(01:27):
thrive in an environment wheretrust is in short supply, and I
want us to have this discussiontoday, but not just today.
This will be a theme for us fora few episodes, because I want
to break down how we are able tobuild trust and capitalize on
it as it being our most valuableasset and, most importantly,
(01:51):
how do we build on that in theface of everything that we have
to overcome, such as biases andskepticism, all the things.
So let's get started.
I don't know if you realizethis, or maybe you've just never
given it any thought, but trustis very powerful in business.
(02:13):
As a matter of fact, there wasan article that I was reading
recently from the Atlantic thatand I'm going to read this quote
it said that trust is, andalways has been, at the core of
the economy, and when you thinkabout it, that's very true.
People buy from and work withpeople that they trust.
Think about your life.
(02:34):
If you're hiring, for instance,a painter to redo your living
room, you don't just pick arandom name out of the hat.
I mean, back in the day, maybewe would search the yellow pages
.
I'm telling my age right now tofind someone, but in most cases
, what you're going to do isyou're going to look for reviews
, you're going to see what otherpeople have said.
(02:54):
You're going to ask people forrecommendations, or you're going
to go with someone who you'veworked with before, or someone
who may have done the house nextto you or down the street.
You're looking for evidencethat they can be trusted.
Or, if you're choosing a doctor, you're trusting that their
(03:16):
expertise is going to lead tothe right diagnosis for you,
which is extremely important inyour life and your treatment.
And if you're looking for adaycare provider to take care of
your newborn baby, you need toknow without a shadow of a doubt
that your child is going to besafe.
I know how I was when I wassearching for someone to care
for my girls.
I would look high and low forthe best facility.
(03:41):
I didn't want them to have anytype of negative incident or any
type of negative write-up thatI could find.
I wanted to make sure theperson was extremely caring.
I wanted someone that wouldtreat them well and that I knew
and could trust that they wouldbe cared for.
So a lot of the decisions thatwe make are rarely just about
(04:04):
logic, and this is true in ourpersonal lives as consumers, but
it's also true even when youthink about decisions that are
going to be made on a corporatelevel, there still is a level of
trust that's needed.
It's one of the reasons whyreferrals tend to be a major way
that people acquire businessbecause someone wants to know
(04:26):
that they can trust you to dothe work.
Trust is really the thing thatbridges the gap between
uncertainty in terms of theoutcome that you're going to
receive and you taking action towork with that person.
So trust is big, and this samething applies to us in
consulting.
(04:46):
If we're going to have a clientthat's going to pay us to come
to their business to assesstheir challenges, get all into
the back ends of their business,know all their dirty financial
secrets, whatever it may be, andprovide solutions, they have to
trust us.
They have to be able to trustthat.
So that means that we have tohave the expertise to deliver
(05:12):
the result.
We need to be able tounderstand their needs right and
act in their best interest.
And then we need to be who wesay that we are, and the
challenge is that trust isn'tsomething that's freely given.
It's not easy to earn trust, andfor us as women especially
women of color in consultingtypically the bar is set higher
(05:35):
for a number of differentreasons.
So when we think about trust, Ijust want to make sure that
we're on the same page inconsidering the fact that trust
plays a major role in ourability to do business.
Let's just be real when itcomes to trust and credibility,
the playing field is not level.
(05:57):
There is a research that hasshown that women, particularly
women of color, have had toprove our competence over and
over again in ways that otherpeople don't.
So there is not that trust thatis given, especially in the
instances where women are tryingto build their name and their
(06:18):
reputation in the consultingindustry.
Biases and stereotypes createobstacles that can make it
harder to establish this trust,because decision makers and
stakeholders may have their ownpreconceived notions before we
even get to the table.
So being able to garner trustis hard.
(06:38):
Women in leadership are oftenjudged more harshly when they
assert their expertise.
What is that name that we'reoften called behind closed doors
?
When we're trying to be moreassertive right that B word
there are instances where Blackwomen in particularly are
(06:58):
frequently labeled as beingaggressive or angry the angry
Black woman when we're justsimply trying to be direct and
more confident.
And then when you just look atthe fact that women of color are
less likely to even be seen asexperts to start with.
So if you're not even seen asan expert, although you have the
(07:21):
credentials, the experience tolive up to every aspect of that
title, then it's hard to eventhink about how you have these
conversations around trust whenyou're not even put into the
same category.
So there are a number ofobstacles that are often in our
way, but it does not mean thatwe can't overcome them.
(07:45):
We just have to be intentionalwhen it comes to building trust.
We can't rely on the fact thatit's going to come.
We can't rely on the assumptionthat people are just going to
give it to us.
It may not be that way, so wehave to have a way that we can
intentionally and morestrategically develop that trust
, and develop trust in a waythat is going to return to us
(08:08):
financially.
I just want to take this quickbreak to thank you for tuning in
to Black Girls Consult 2.
If you are enjoying thisepisode or have enjoyed any
episodes in the past, I wouldlove it if you could leave your
five-star review on ApplePodcasts or Spotify and share
this episode and this podcastwith a friend, your help in
(08:29):
getting the word out about thispodcast will help it grow and
reach more and more people whotruly need this information to
have a consulting business thatthrives in this year and the
years moving forward.
Okay, back to the episode Now.
I know you're probably thinkingI hear you when you're talking
about all the challenges thatwe're facing.
(08:50):
I'm feeling it, I've lived it.
I understand where you'recoming from, dr Angelina, but
how do we build this trust?
Where do we start in terms ofbeing able to build and maintain
the trust that we need?
And one of the places that Ialways like to go to, because I
am just a Harvard BusinessReview lover.
I just love many of thewrite-ups and the summaries
(09:12):
there.
Just, I don't know, I'm biased,but either way, there was a
great framework that waspresented in a Harvard Business
Review article on the trusttriangle, and I thought that it
really encapsulated everythingthat we need in order to
establish trust in the businessrelationships that we're trying
(09:34):
to form, and how they describethis trust triangle.
Of course, it has three sidesor three key drivers, and those
are authenticity, empathy andlogic, and so, in order for us
to establish and maintain trust,we need to have those three
things.
Authenticity, meaning are weshowing up as ourselves, who we
(09:57):
really and genuinely are?
Empathy do we feel that we careabout our clients and their
success?
Do we really care about whathappens to them and to their
businesses?
And then logic do we have theknowledge and the ability to
deliver the results that we saythat we can deliver?
(10:17):
And when you think about it,whenever trust breaks down in
any relationship, I will arguetrust breaks down in any
relationship, I will argue isusually because one of these
elements, one of these sides,becomes a bit wobbly, as they
would describe it, meaning it'snot coming across clearly to the
(10:38):
people you want to work with.
There's something about eitheryour expression of authenticity,
of empathy or logic that isshaky, just shaky, and we want
to keep it in just real, plainterms.
So let's talk about this andbreak this down Now.
When we talk about authenticity, I feel like that's often used
as a catchphrase.
We hear that word so often Beauthentic, show up as yourself,
(11:01):
be the real you.
And, yes, people want to knowthat they're working with the
real you.
They don't want to feel as ifthey're working with someone
that's putting on a show orputting up a facade and telling
them or selling them somethingthat is not representative of
who they truly are.
(11:22):
Think about how we felt, even inrecent days, recording this in
the beginning of the year, andas we watch all of the talk
about diversity, equity andinclusion, dei unraveling and
being torn down, at least as aterm and as a structure as we
know it or knew it before.
(11:42):
Those are instances where manyof the businesses that have
decided to get rid of their DEIprograms we felt a breach of
trust, right, because theauthenticity piece them showing
up as who they really are seemsto not have been the case.
(12:03):
We were misled.
We thought that thosebusinesses, aka Target, we
thought that they representedsomething different and so when
we see that they are takingthese programs away, things that
we thought were embedded in thevalues of who they actually
were as a business and a company, that is problematic for many
(12:25):
of us as consumers.
So we don't want to havebusinesses see us in that light.
We want people to know thatthey're working with a real
person who is authentically whothey are, whether it is in front
of the camera or off the camera, whether they are seeing us in
the middle of a meeting or theydon't see us at all and we're
(12:46):
negotiating on their behalf wemay want to know that they can
trust us and that we're notputting on an act.
And although this sounds rathereasy for many of us to do
because I do believe that weoften feel as if we are being
authentic in our practice For usas women and women of color
(13:06):
especially many of us have beenconditioned to hold a lot of who
we are back.
We have been conditioned bycorporate to show up in these
professional settings and besomebody else.
We code switch, we soften ourvoices to avoid sounding too
aggressive, we shrink ourselvesso we don't come across as being
(13:31):
intimidating.
I remember when I was intraining, one of my advisors had
a sit down talk with me and oneof the things that he shared
and he was a cisgender whitemale one of the things that he
shared with me was thatoftentimes when I would
communicate, I came across asbeing very intimidating, and it
(13:55):
was such a weird discussion thatI had with him that day because
in my mind I was likeintimidating.
I have the biggest smile always, and actually my smile has
often been something that I'veseen as not necessarily a
weakness.
But I felt other people judgeme because I smiled a lot.
Like often, if you smile,people think that you're not as
(14:17):
strong, and so for me, I wasjust taken aback, that he
thought that I was intimidatingand that he was implying that my
being intimidating wasproblematic in our environment,
there, in working, in training.
So I began to soften myapproach.
(14:38):
I did all of those things thatI'm saying, that we have been
conditioned to do.
I have lived it.
I have lived it.
I have done it.
I continue to still fight topull myself away from a lot of
the corporate conditioning thatI've experienced over the years,
which is why I talk a lot abouthow corporate conditioning and
corporate trauma can play a hugerole in how we show up in our
(15:00):
businesses, and it cannegatively impact our businesses
because it does things likethis, which is break down trust
because we're not beingauthentically who we are or who,
I would even argue, god calledus to be.
So we have to break and movepast that, and it's not always
easy to do it, the more and morethat you can lean into,
(15:25):
embracing your unique voice,your perspective and your lived
experience, those things thatyou know to be true because you
have lived through them.
That's what's going to make youdifferent.
That's what's going to makeyour expertise more valuable to
some clients than others.
It's what is going to return toyou in dollars and cents, right
(15:48):
?
So we have to work on thiswhole aspect of showing up more
authentically and really pushingpast many of the limitations
that we have formed out ofnecessity of survival in many of
our corporate spaces.
So authenticity is one areawhere we may unintentionally
(16:12):
break trust, and the second iswith empathy, and empathy is
just all about showing that youcare.
It, honestly, is making theclient feel like you only care
about them, that you're notfocused on just getting paid,
because if you're focused onjust getting paid, they're not
(16:34):
going to trust you.
It's one of the reasons why,when people reach out to you and
may cold call, a cold message,and immediately they just start
talking about their services,you don't trust them.
Often you don't want to hearanything else they have to say,
and the reason is because theirinitial interaction with you has
already breached trust.
Because they are not beingempathetic.
(16:57):
They have not shown that theycare about you, and this is why
some of the biggest consultingfirms I always think about
McKinsey and Company have facedserious backlash over the years.
Mckinsey and Company took ahuge hit because they were seen
as prioritizing profits overclient well-being.
(17:18):
They were focused on makingmoney, doing things that brought
money in the door instead ofensuring that their clients were
safe and protected.
At least, those were the claims.
Now I'm not here to argue.
I don't work behind the scenesor have never worked for that
organization, but this is whatnumerous headlines were being
(17:39):
published in recent years.
This is what they were saying.
This is the conversation thatpeople were having.
It was all about how they wereprioritizing profits over
clients.
And then when this trust isbroken on that scale, at that
level, it begins to trickle downto the rest of the industry.
(18:00):
So, unknowingly, many of us havefaced scrutiny because
organizations have watched theselarger firms breach that trust.
They've watched them end up insituations that make them
question their interaction withyou.
How do you differentiateyourself?
How do you begin to showclients that I'm not like them,
(18:22):
right, I'm not like them, I'mdifferent, and that all starts
with being client-centered?
The more you can show that youcare about the success and the
well-being of your clients, andnot just a paycheck, not just
getting the most money out ofthem, not just getting them to
sign on at all costs.
(18:43):
The more you can becomeclient-centered and remain
client-centered, the more trustyou're going to build.
That is the whole essence ofempathy, and it's all about you
asking thoughtful questions,being concerned about what's
happening in their world,listening more than you speak,
(19:06):
making recommendations thatactually serve their best
interests.
And here's the hard part even ifit hurts yours, even if it
means turning down the workbecause it's not a right fit for
you.
This can be hard when you havebills to pay, when you have a
company to run because it's nota right fit for you.
This can be hard when you havebills to pay, when you have a
(19:28):
company to run, if you have anyemployees, if you have overhead
expenses, whatever it may bethat is on your plate.
It can be hard to turn someonedown when you feel like, oh well
, I can do an okay job solvingthis problem.
I'm not the best at it, but Ican do okay, I can.
I'll take that on, because theperson is desperate for help.
(19:50):
But in those moments, that'swhere true empathy has to arise.
And we have to say I'm not thebest at this particular issue
and because of that, I'm goingto either lead you in another
direction or I'm going to bevery honest and transparent
about what I know and what I canoffer, and if we still work
(20:11):
together and collaborate, I'mgoing to do my best to show up
in excellence and get you tothat end result.
However, these are the thingsthat we're going to have to
navigate through.
That may be a little bitdifficult and sticky.
Those are ways that you canstep into this empathetic role
and position and begin to buildtrust instead of breaking it
away.
And then the last is logic, andlogic is all about proving that
(20:36):
you can deliver.
It's the proof, it's theevidence.
Clients need to feel confidentthat you know your stuff, that
you are not just faking it andgetting by, that you are going
to actually show up and deliver.
And I feel as if logic took ahuge hit during the pandemic,
(20:56):
when a lot of businesses wentonline.
It became really easy for a fewyears for online businesses to
thrive.
It's a lot different now thanit was before, but at that time,
people were eager to find help,as there was a crisis.
There was just kind ofeverything burning down around
us and we were trying to figureout how to navigate it.
(21:17):
People needed help and thenthere was a lot of access
because everybody was online.
It was easy to grab your laptopand say you were an expert and
this, that and the other, andget your business started and
start selling packages, right.
But during that time, a lot ofpeople were burned.
And, getting back to what I wassaying before, the result of
(21:38):
that has led us to this periodwhere we are living with a lot
of skepticism and it's difficultto build and gain trust.
So, when you're focusing onlogic, this means staying in
your lane, focusing on yourstrengths, speaking on what you
(21:58):
actually know and can do, owning, like I stated before, when you
don't know everything, becauseno one knows everything.
So owning that and being honestwhen something is outside your
expertise, you'll be surprisedat the number of people that
will continue to work with you,and I've had this happen a
number of times.
They will continue to work withyou because you have been
(22:21):
honest about your strengths andyour expertise and what you may
not know, because in that moment, they know that if you are not
knowledgeable enough, you'regoing to point them in the right
direction to find theadditional help or you're going
to secure the additional helpand that you're honest enough to
tell them that you can't do it,and they trust that that's
(22:44):
actually probably the thing thatsold them the most on your
business.
So remaining honest is key toreally being able to grow this
logic piece, this logic arm.
And then the one thing that Iwill harp on until the end of
(23:04):
time is that when you focus onconstantly improving your craft,
mastering your craft, masteringyour practice, mastering
becoming the best consultantthat you can be, then it's easy
for you to show up as anundeniable authority.
That's easy and people believeit.
(23:24):
Why?
Because you are mastering it.
You're not shifting messagesover and over again, you are not
being inconsistent, you are notfabricating stories.
You are showing up in a waythat they have confidence that
you're going to do the work,you're going to deliver, you're
(23:45):
going to always be there.
They can trust you with thismajor investment.
There have been far too manypeople that have been
over-promising andunder-delivering.
They are not meetingexpectations, and so our goal is
not to just meet expectations,but to exceed expectations, and
that's the way that we overcomethis skepticism.
If we focus on consistentlydelivering high-quality work,
(24:10):
the results are going to speakfor themselves.
The results are going to speaklouder than any words that we
can say.
So those three pillars theauthenticity, the empathy and
the logic those are thecomponents that go together to
help us build the trust that weneed.
(24:31):
We need to show up as our realselves.
We need to show clients that wecare about their success first
and foremost, not just the money.
And then we need to deliver.
Deliver real results and ownour expertise.
And the thing is that whenwe're able to do these things,
we elevate our reputation.
You become known for yourspecialty.
(24:54):
You become known as a personwho can get things done, and the
fact that you elevate yourreputation as the person that is
known for generating aparticular result you're going
to attract more high qualityclients.
They're going to come to youbecause there are a lot of
things that are going to attractmore high quality clients.
They're going to come to youbecause there are a lot of
things that are going to begoing on in the background that
(25:15):
you're not seeing.
You're not going to be seeingthe word of mouth from the
person telling someone elsetheir colleague, their friend of
the wonderful work that they'vedone with you.
You're going to also get theoutcomes the benefit of the
outcomes that are seen assomeone else looks at a business
that they envy, or maybethey're competing against and
(25:37):
they want that similar result.
You're going to have all thesedifferent things working in the
background for you as a resultof the fact that you elevated
your reputation and then,ultimately, all of this leads to
greater trust that increasesthe financial success of your
business.
(25:58):
It honestly goes back to trustand that's why we are living in
a trust economy.
So, as we close, I want you tothink about how you can do a
trust check in for your business.
Seriously ask yourself Am Ishowing up authentically or am I
(26:20):
holding back in some way andchallenge yourself to think
about the barriers that mayexist.
Because you have been incorporate or been in a
professional environment for solong and you know what helps me
do this.
When I run this trust checkcheck-in for myself, I always
think about how do I show upwhen I'm getting off work or
(26:46):
when I am free on the weekend,when I am free on the weekend.
If I'm completely differentduring those periods of time,
then I know that there'ssomething about how I'm
presenting myself in the work,corporate, professional
environment.
That needs to change.
That's not authentically who Iam.
(27:06):
Fully Ask yourself do my clientsfeel like I genuinely I mean
genuinely care about theirsuccess?
My hope is that any client Ihave ever served, even those who
may not have paid me a dime ifyou're listening to this podcast
right now, if you tune into awebinar, if you look at anything
(27:26):
on social media, if you haveinteracted with me on threads,
in any aspect of our interactionit is my hope that I am showing
that I genuinely care aboutyour success, that I do this
because I care.
Those are the things that wehave to ask ourselves.
And oh and one more askyourself am I clearly
(27:47):
communicating my expertise anddelivering results?
Are you communicating what youcan do, meaning sharing
everything that you can offer,and then, are you delivering on
that?
And if you're not, we got tostart doing it.
But if you are, how can we takethat up to the next level?
(28:07):
If you do this trust check-inoften because it's not a
one-time fix then you willalways ensure that you remain in
alignment along your businessjourney, because if we're seeing
a trust wobble, that meansthere's a breakdown in one of
those three areas right, then.
(28:28):
That's where you have to startworking.
That's where you need to focus.
If you found this episodehelpful, I want you to make sure
you subscribe to the podcastand share it with another woman
in consulting who needs to hearit.
Next time we're going to diveinto how we start to build this
trust from day one.
This is giving you thegroundwork in terms of what the
(28:51):
trust economy is, why it'simportant and how do we begin to
think about trust and theelements that create the trust.
But next I want us to talkabout how we start off from day
one, building the trust that weneed.
So you don't want to miss that,and until then, I want you to
keep showing up, keep servingand keep building trust with the
(29:11):
clients that you want to serve,and I'll see you next time.
Take care.
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