Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:01):
Coming to you from North Central Ohio. We share
with you the voice of theNazarene a week by week. Venture
into the Word of God sponsoredby the buchars, Ohio Church of
the Nazarene. We join ourpastor, Reverend Ray La Salle
and the voice of the Nazarene.
Pastor Ray LaSalle (00:17):
Proverbs 17.
Verse 17, and may I say to you,if we need anything, we need a
friend. I don't know anyone thatdoesn't need a friend for the
good times, for the bad times,they'll be on our side
forevermore, friends. That'swhat friends are for. Solomon,
(00:38):
the wise preacher. He said Afriend loveth at all times. And
I'm glad he mentions that abrother is born for adversity. I
only had one brother that lived.
I lost a brother and twobirthdays ago, on my birthday, I
(01:05):
buried my older brother. Ithought of the times growing up
as kids and getting into it withsome neighbor boys. I was sure
glad I had an older brother bornfor adversity, but I want to
deal with the other thismorning. A friend loveth at all
times. A friend is that personwho walks in when everybody else
(01:30):
is walking out. Friend is thatone that knows all of your good
points, but they also know yourweaknesses and to some of your
bad points. If you got tons offriends like that, you're
extremely blessed reading thisweek about a young man. He's not
(01:54):
quite 30, lives up at FortWayne, Indiana, graduated with a
bachelor's degree in counselingand is a gifted speaker and
writer. He and another siblingwere born with type two spinal
muscular atrophy. In otherwords, he's never walked a day
(02:16):
in his life. He's never taken astep. He got the bright idea in
2015 to travel across Europe,not a way in the world that he
could do it. He lives in achair, but he had some friends,
(02:36):
and he talked at least four ofhis friends into carrying him on
their back across Europe, andthey begin to dream of a
lifetime trip together. And theythey devised a backpack,
(02:58):
something like you would carry akid in only they build it
bigger, and they traveled acrossWales and England and France and
Ireland. And fact, a matter, acouple years later, went across
China, all because he had somefriends to carry him. Kevin
Chandler is his name. You mightwant to look it up, and I can
(03:22):
tell you this much, folk, we maynot have spinal muscular
atrophy, but there will be timesin our life when we'll need
somebody to carry us, somebodyto defend us, somebody To
support us, somebody to help us,somebody to assist us, to help
(03:44):
us with things. And I canpromise you, if you'll show me
your friends, I can give apretty good guess about your
destiny for your life. Williamhard tap was president. He was
about to go out of office, andhis successor was Woodrow
(04:05):
Wilson. She's about to leaveoffice. Woodrow Wilson was very
apprehensive, and he said tohim, he said, in just a concise
statement or two, can you tellme some advice to help me as I
step up into this office,William Taft dropped his head
(04:28):
and finally muttered to him,you're going to find this to be
the loneliest place in Theworld, and the issue of
loneliness is epidemic acrossAmerica. Did you know that 50%
of Americans say that theystruggle with loneliness? 25% of
(04:53):
Americans say that they don'thave one real too close friend.
You. 65% of the young people,that's from ages 12 to 17, say,
I battle. I struggle withloneliness. But it's not only a
problem in America. It's also aproblem in Britain. Fact of the
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matter in Britain, 68% of theBritish people say they struggle
with loneliness until the PrimeMinister has made a place in his
cabinet and has put in aminister for loneliness. 25
(05:37):
years ago, you could asksomebody, how many true friends
do you have? And the average wassix close friends. Today, if you
ask somebody how many closefriends they have, they'll tell
you probably at the very most,two close friends. You say,
(05:58):
Well, Pastor, how did it dropdown from six down to two. Let
me give you at least threereasons. I believe because of an
increase in work hours, Ibelieve that people go home from
work and they take their workhome with them. I believe a lot
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of times by the time we gethome, we can't lay it down.
Plus, we've got iPads, we've gotcomputers, we got cell phones,
and they keep ringing, and wekeep going through and trying to
tidy up and and we're so loadeddown. Some of us haven't been
the kind of dads that we maybecould have been. I believe the
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rise in divorce rate. I cannottell you how many friends
because of divorce, I lost theirfriendship, because when that
happens, you only get two one'sgoing to drop you, and the other
is going to ride along with you.
I believe another reason is theexplosion in social media, it
seems like we used to beconcerned about face to face
(07:07):
relationships. Used to be a timeyou had a front porch with a
swing on it, and you sent andtalked as a couple, but the
television is blaring and youcan't hear them and you're
caught up with something else.
There used to be a time we hadface to face relationships, and
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now it's thumb to thumb insteadof face to face. And we've
raised our children, and we'vetaught them how to text and how
to tweet, and they don't knowhow to talk. Adam, we're not
careful. We're getting lostsocial media. Everybody's got a
post whether their pets had abowel movement or what they ate
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for dinner or they got a pimple,and really, nobody really cares,
but we've lost this art ofrelationship. The thing that's
very, very important to us,what's the answer for
loneliness? Well, it's not a newproblem. God that created Adam,
and in Genesis 218, he said,It's not good for man to live
(08:20):
alone. I'll make for him ahelpmate. And the answer for
loneliness is relationships. Theanswer for loneliness is
friendships. Kurt Johnson wrotea book entitled My friends, and
in his book, he said that we allhave casual friends. I would add
(08:46):
the word to that word, casualfriends circumstances. Can I
describe it with circumstances?
It's just who you meet whenyou're maneuvering out through
your daily grind, week afterweek and month after month, and
you go into the druggist and andyou talk to the girl, and she's
getting your prescriptiontogether, and you see her on her
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she's kind of a casual friend.
And where you stop to get thathamburger, and somebody's
waiting on you, and you see himon and even maybe notice their
name, and you begin to tell themtheir name, their occasional
friend. And we've got a lot ofroom in our life for a lot of
casual friends, because they'renot consuming our time anyway,
(09:31):
and we kind of know em by seeingit. I think there's also beyond
that, what we call closefriends. And when I say close
friends, I would add the wordchoice. We choose to spend a
little bit more time with theseclose friends. Maybe you invite
them over, maybe you go to theirhouse, or you meet them
(09:52):
someplace for lunch and and we,they're they're close to us
because we've chosen that you.
But beyond casual friends,beyond close friends, you need
core friends, those that reallywould just nearly die for you.
They care that much. If you werein a jam, they'd help you to get
(10:17):
out of that jam. They wouldstand behind you when everybody
else is fighting you, you say,where do you get that preacher?
I get it out of the Bible. Jesusloved everybody. Jesus fed the
5000 but he appointed 70 someand sent them out into ministry.
(10:38):
But yet he discipled 12, but heonly mentored three. It's what
we call biblical teaching. So ifI'm going to be a good friend,
what are some of the qualitiesthat I need to have, and if
you're going to find friends,what are some of the qualities
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that you need to look for thingsthat are helpful, things that
are practical. How can I be abetter friend? Can I just throw
a few thoughts at you? You canfaster. Thank you. Number one,
cheer up. Do you know theshortest distance between two
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people is a smile? I can walkdown through the hospital
quarters, and I do it a lot. Ithink I've been in three this
last week and and I'm amazed athow many people walk and they
avoid eye contact, but theycatch my eye. I'm watching they
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get a smile. This is theshortest distance. Distance only
takes 13 muscles, and I don'twant to wear myself out, but it
takes 33 to frown. Anybody herelike to be cuter? You? Smile.
(12:06):
That's all you've gotta do. Imean, if Jesus has saved you and
forgiven you of your sins, andyou don't have to go to hell now
and you're on your way toheaven, notify your face. If you
want to attract friends, cheerup. Well, Pastor, I'm going to
cheer up when things begin towork out in my life. Well, let
(12:26):
me show you a little scripture.
Maybe nobody's ever pointed itout to you, but it's Proverbs,
15, verse 30, a cheerful lookbrings joy to the heart, and the
more apt you are to workyourself into a feeling than you
are to fill yourself into anaction. Forget all the feeling
stuff, and according to thescripture, a little bit of a
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smile brings some joy. I wouldencourage you to do that. So if
you want a friend, you all yougotta do is cheer up. Here's the
second step. That's free up. Ibelieve there's freedom in just
being yourself. I heard about anold boy the other day. He had
braces put on his false teeth sohe would appear younger. You
(13:16):
say, Well, I don't, if peoplereally knew me, they wouldn't
like me for who I am, thenprobably you're not. If you're
not yourself, you don't have afriendship anyway, because they
don't, won't even know the realyou. Well, moving along, notice
what the Scripture says, Matthew2239 Thou shalt love thy
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neighbor as thyself, and youcan't even love others until you
love who God made you to be. Doyou know why people always
picking on everybody elsebecause they're not happy with
themselves? There's insecuritythat they're battling with, but
(14:01):
there's a freedom just beingyourself and then speak up,
pastor. I want to attractfriends. How do I do it? Well,
the Bible says, here inPhilippians, two, four, Look not
every man on his own things, butevery man also on the things of
others. So how do I do it? Askquestions. Ask how are your
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children good? Quit tellingabout yours, and get interested
in theirs. You don't have tocomplain about your job, just
let them talk to you about theirjob. In other words, when you're
with people, be interested,instead of always trying to be
interesting.
(14:50):
Be interested, not trying to beinteresting. I think Toby Keith
had it wrong. Let's go talkabout me. Let's talk. About you
now, I don't have one heretoday, but if I had a
photographer up here on theplatform shooting a picture of
the audience, and he puttogether a real good picture,
(15:13):
and next Sunday, I tell you thatthat picture is going to be out
in the foyer. You can look at itwhen we dismiss, everybody would
run out and guess who they wouldlook at on that. And that's our
problem. If you want to have animpact on people, why do we
always talk about ourselves? Ifwe're not careful, we'll have
(15:35):
self on our mind, Calvin Kleinon our behind, and it's time
that we get ourselves off ourmind and begin to get interested
in others. The secret to beinginterested in other people,
that's the secret. So all I wantto say is cheer up. Free up.
Speak up, and then listen up.
Look at what James 119 says,Wherefore, my beloved brother,
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let every man be swift to hear,slow to speak. Do you ever
wonder why God gave us two earsand only one mouth?
If you're a good listener,people will say, Boy, there are
great conversationalists and youhaven't said anything. Some of
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my best friends have the art oflistening, and I fall into my
art of talking, and then Iregret it later. I promise
myself I'll never do it again.
And I do it, but some of myfriends that have really stood
out to me across the years, andI lost one the other day. He
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could listen better than anybodyelse he was interested. So just
listen. And then here's my nextone. I'm afraid to say it, but
it's called Shut up. Now I knowI've offended somebody without
even trying, but you know whatthe Bible said? Great peace.
Have they that love the law andnothing shall offend them?
(17:06):
Everybody is offended overeverything today, crazy days.
Can I give you a great verse fora sermon? I'll give you a great
win, but I'm not going to preachit this morning. It's in First
Thessalonians, 411 that youstudy to be quiet, do your own
(17:27):
business and to work with yourown hands. Shut up, mind your
own business, and get to work.
Isn't that a great sermon? Well,I'll move along. Look at what
Proverbs 1113, says, a tailbearer revealeth secrets, but he
that is of a faithful spiritconcealeth the matter. I'm
(17:49):
talking about confidentiality.
If you're going to be a goodfriend, you've got to understand
what it means to beconfidential. One guy said,
Pastor. He said, I can keep asecret, but the people I talk to
can't. Now, here's what I wantto say to you. Your gossip will
find you out. It will you say,Well, I want to give a prayer
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request about George. No, youjust want to let everybody know,
and God knows what you're doing.
God sees now, if you wantemotional problems, let me tell
you how to have em. Just gossip.
Just gossip. You see, where'dyou get that from? From the
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Bible. That's my problem. I readit. Here's what the Bible says,
Proverbs, 2123 whoso, keepethhis mouth and his tongue.
Keepeth his soul from trouble.
What's your soul, your mind,your emotions and your will. You
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want to mess up emotionally,just keep gossiping, because
it'll get you in trouble. Now, Ipastored for years, and I
believe in the intrinsic valueof life. I believe that every
life is facial. I believe thatGod has a purpose for every
(19:17):
life. I believe in the samesanctity of marriage. I believe
in a traditional marriage. Yougot a problem with that? I
believe the Bible teaches that amarriage is between a man and a
woman, and after all of theseyears of pastoring, those issues
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haven't affected the churchnearly as much as gossiping. Has
You got any advice y'all Shutup. I wouldn't have to say it
here, but it's, well, let's goto another one. Uh, show up.
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Show up. I'm talking about whendifficult times come, just show
up. When I first came here,about the first about the second
year I was here, a lady calledme and said, my brother's going
in for open heart surgerytomorrow? Would you go see him?
Then I had a tight schedule. Ididn't know the man. I drove out
(20:27):
at old 30 and finally locatedthe mobile home where he lived.
Never met him before. He'ssitting on a picnic table and
he's thinking about open heartsurgery. And I pull in, he'd
never seen me. He wasn't toosure about preachers, and I had
to break the ice. And boy, ittook a big AX. And finally, I
had a word of prayer with him. Igot back to the house, and the
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phone rang, as that same ladysaid, Now, would you go down and
sit with my brother at theMethodist Is it the Methodist
Hospital? What's that one downthere Riverside? And I said,
you're not going to be there.
No. She said, I've got to go tothe state fair. Well, I might
(21:14):
like to go too, but I went notto the fair. That wouldn't have
been fair. But I have peoplecall me and say, preacher,
somebody's companion just walkedout on somebody's baby just
(21:35):
died. And you're trained to talkto him. You're trained in
knowing what to say. You got mewrong. I've never been trained
on what to say. Neither have anyof my pastor buddies. None of
them have been trained on whatto say when a baby dies or
somebody's wife or husband haswalked out on him. So what do
you do? If you're a friend, youjust show up. You just show up.
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It's not your platform. They'reinterested. It's your presence.
It's not what you have to say.
It's just that you're a friendand you care, and you show up.
And when somebody has a tragedyin their life, and the worst
thing you can do is run in witha Bible, flipping down through
(22:23):
the scriptures in Romans, 828, Iknow your baby died, but God's
working all things together.
They're not ready to hear thatright now. What do they need?
They need a friend that'll justshow up. They need presence.
Think about it. Job. Losteverything he had. He lost his
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children, he lost his finances,he lost his health, and his
friends showed up, and for sevendays they sat there and never
said a word, and it waswonderful, till they opened
their mouth, and that's when theproblem started. Read the I'm
not making all this up. Part ofit's true. Y'all here, just show
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up. Friends, show up. I'm herewhen the tough times come. And
then I'm going to throw aseventh one in here. Stand up.
Notice what the scripture said.
Proverbs, 27 verse five, Openrebuke is better than secret.
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Love. Faithful are the wounds ofa friend, but the kisses of an
enemy are deceitful. Sometimes atrue friend will say to you, you
were wrong. Sometimes a truefriend will say you're going
down a wrong, dangerous path. Atrue friend will say you you
(23:51):
didn't show the right attitudeback younger. I'm just telling
you, we're friends now. A truefriend will tell you you're
making a big mistake. Thinkabout it. True. Friends say good
things behind your back and theysay the tough things to your
faith. If somebody supportsevery decision you make, even if
(24:16):
they're wrong, they're not theperson that you're needing in
your life. Somebody said, Idon't need a friend that changes
when I change and nods when Inod, my shadow does that much
better. The old preacher wasteaching a young preacher how to
(24:37):
do counseling, and he wasserving his clinicals under him,
and so he said quietly at theside over the corner of the
office. And the lady came in andshe said, My husband, he's
brutal, and my husband's mean,and my my husband's not
understanding, and my husbanddoesn't say what I need to hear.
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And the old preacher said,You're right. You. You're right,
you're right. After a while, thehusband came in, and he said,
all the problems on my wife'sside. He said, You're right,
you're right, you're right. Whenhe left, the young preacher
said, you got me as confused asa termite and a yo yo. When she
(25:21):
came in, you said you're right,you're right, you're right. And
when he came in, you said you'reright, and the old preacher said
You're right, you're right,you're right. Sometimes we need
a friend that will say you'rewrong, you're wrong. This time,
you're wrong. Here's an eightthing I'll throw at you for a
(25:43):
moment. I guess I'll quit onthese. Give up. Look at what
Proverbs 17 six says, Many willentreat the favor of the prince,
and every man is a friend to himthat giveth gives. What's he
saying? Rather than trying toget decide in your heart that
you're going to be a giver.
Insteadof looking for people who will
(26:05):
give to me, look for theopportunities for you to be a
giver, because givers alwayshave more than enough, and
takers never have enough. Lookto be a giver. Bill Bright said,
I'd rather give my gifts whilemy hands are warm. You say,
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Pastor, I need a friend. Wherecan I get some friends? Well,
look at what the Bible saysHebrews 1024, let us think of
ways to motivate one another toacts of love and good works. Let
us not neglect our meetingtogether, as some people do, but
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encourage one another,especially now that today, of
His return is drawing near. Ican't think of a better place to
meet people than the house ofGod, than the house of God, I
said, the house of God. Now, ifyou look around, you're sitting
(27:15):
in rows. Can I just say to you,from my heart to yours, after
100 years of preaching, we needto be getting into some circles.
Instead of just having a faceoff and always instruction, some
of us need some fellowship. Someof us need friendship. And when
I say that, you gotta understandI'm talking from the pastor's
(27:40):
perspective, when I've seen itin these little, small groups
sometimes, where you can developproblems, but I still know that
if we don't begin to get into acircle and have accountability
and encouragement from othersand have a friend or two, we're
not going to make it in thetough times circles, we need
(28:01):
people. We need encouragement.
Now I'm saying, if you can behere instead of just watching my
live stream, it's kind of likenot going to heaven, but you get
to watch you church. Now I'm nottalking about my friends
(28:25):
watching my live stream ortelevision who are miles from
here and can't be in church. I'msaying to us that could be we
need the fellowship and we needmore than pajamas and a cup of
coffee and and not leaving thehouse if we're not careful, we
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we miss out on that camaraderie,and we miss out on that settling
of the presence of God in agathering. We need one another.
Now, in closing, I just want tomention, I won't tell you about
my best friend, and his name isJesus. And as a boy, growing up
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as a sinner boy without God inmy heart, I came out of a broken
home, mom and dad. Dad hadmarried. My mom became my dad,
and they got saved. They wasn'ton purpose. They did not intend
for it to happen, but they wentto a revival. Happened to be a
(29:30):
little Nazarene church. Lateryears, I would pastor that
church in Brazil, Indiana, andthey got saved that crazy
preacher give an altar call, andthey got mama got under
conviction. Dad had already toldher, we should go. They put you
under a spell. And Dad said hewas getting mad. They're
(29:54):
standing in the back and thealtar calls going, and he said,
it's time to leave. She said,It's too late. I'm under the.
Spell, these folk are happy andI'm not happy. And after that, I
met Jesus, because mom and dadgot saved and I had a sin dad
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and Jesus, who had no debt, tookon my debt. Now I've been
pastoring for 33 years righthere. I've done a little bit
elsewhere before they put themoving van in front of my house.
I may have elaborated on that abit because I don't want any
(30:36):
phone calls from where I pastor.
It said that's not the way itwas. That's the problem with
this social media. I can't tella story, but what I don't get a
call before the day is over fromelsewhere. But I pastored here
for 33 years, and I've hadpeople that believed in me and
stood behind me and I thoughtwould be my friend and be a
supporter, clearly the end, butit hasn't worked out that way,
(31:00):
and they're gone. Fact a matter,if I could have everybody that
was a part of this church acrossthese 33 years, this building
wouldn't begin to hold them.
Some of you have had friendsthat you thought would be there
to the end, and they haven'tlasted. But I want to tell you
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there is a friend that stickethcloser than a brother. His name
is Jesus, and when everybodyelse walks out, he'll never
leave you nor forsake you. Andfrom where I am at this stage in
life, I need to tell some ofyou, there'll be a time you'll
(31:44):
wish that you knew him as yourfriend, because some of those
that you thought they'll beabsent, and suddenly you're on
your own. We all need friends,but there's one friend you
really can't hardly make itwithout his name's Jesus. I want
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my guests that are here thismorning to remember that back in
that grand foyer, there's alittle cafe over there, and
you're invited to get your freecup of whatever you want.
Keith's going to pay for it, andI find my paycheck, I'll pay him
back. We're that grateful thatyou've come and decided to make
(32:29):
this to be a place that youwould visit this morning. How
honored we are to think thatsomebody would drive by and say,
you know, we need to try thatchurch out. I don't even know
how to thank you for coming. Ihope you'll like it so well.
You'll come back. I'm planningon being here next Sunday, even
myself. Father, thanks
Unknown (32:52):
for being a part of the voice of the Nazarene. Visit us
every Sunday at 9am with B andC's pastor, Ray LaSalle, for
more information regarding BNCvisit bucyrusnazarene.org. You.
Coming to you from North Central Ohio. We share
with you the voice of theNazarene a week by week. Venture
into the Word of God sponsoredby the buchars, Ohio Church of
the Nazarene. We join ourpastor, Reverend Ray La Salle
and the voice of the Nazarene.
Pastor Ray LaSalle (00:17):
Proverbs 17.
Verse 17, and may I say to you,if we need anything, we need a
friend. I don't know anyone thatdoesn't need a friend for the
good times, for the bad times,they'll be on our side
forevermore, friends. That'swhat friends are for. Solomon,
(00:38):
the wise preacher. He said Afriend loveth at all times. And
I'm glad he mentions that abrother is born for adversity. I
only had one brother that lived.
I lost a brother and twobirthdays ago, on my birthday, I
(01:05):
buried my older brother. Ithought of the times growing up
as kids and getting into it withsome neighbor boys. I was sure
glad I had an older brother bornfor adversity, but I want to
deal with the other thismorning. A friend loveth at all
times. A friend is that personwho walks in when everybody else
(01:30):
is walking out. Friend is thatone that knows all of your good
points, but they also know yourweaknesses and to some of your
bad points. If you got tons offriends like that, you're
extremely blessed reading thisweek about a young man. He's not
(01:54):
quite 30, lives up at FortWayne, Indiana, graduated with a
bachelor's degree in counselingand is a gifted speaker and
writer. He and another siblingwere born with type two spinal
muscular atrophy. In otherwords, he's never walked a day
(02:16):
in his life. He's never taken astep. He got the bright idea in
2015 to travel across Europe,not a way in the world that he
could do it. He lives in achair, but he had some friends,
(02:36):
and he talked at least four ofhis friends into carrying him on
their back across Europe, andthey begin to dream of a
lifetime trip together. And theythey devised a backpack,
(02:58):
something like you would carry akid in only they build it
bigger, and they traveled acrossWales and England and France and
Ireland. And fact, a matter, acouple years later, went across
China, all because he had somefriends to carry him. Kevin
Chandler is his name. You mightwant to look it up, and I can
(03:22):
tell you this much, folk, we maynot have spinal muscular
atrophy, but there will be timesin our life when we'll need
somebody to carry us, somebodyto defend us, somebody To
support us, somebody to help us,somebody to assist us, to help
(03:44):
us with things. And I canpromise you, if you'll show me
your friends, I can give apretty good guess about your
destiny for your life. Williamhard tap was president. He was
about to go out of office, andhis successor was Woodrow
(04:05):
Wilson. She's about to leaveoffice. Woodrow Wilson was very
apprehensive, and he said tohim, he said, in just a concise
statement or two, can you tellme some advice to help me as I
step up into this office,William Taft dropped his head
(04:28):
and finally muttered to him,you're going to find this to be
the loneliest place in Theworld, and the issue of
loneliness is epidemic acrossAmerica. Did you know that 50%
of Americans say that theystruggle with loneliness? 25% of
(04:53):
Americans say that they don'thave one real too close friend.
You. 65% of the young people,that's from ages 12 to 17, say,
I battle. I struggle withloneliness. But it's not only a
problem in America. It's also aproblem in Britain. Fact of the
(05:17):
matter in Britain, 68% of theBritish people say they struggle
with loneliness until the PrimeMinister has made a place in his
cabinet and has put in aminister for loneliness. 25
(05:37):
years ago, you could asksomebody, how many true friends
do you have? And the average wassix close friends. Today, if you
ask somebody how many closefriends they have, they'll tell
you probably at the very most,two close friends. You say,
(05:58):
Well, Pastor, how did it dropdown from six down to two. Let
me give you at least threereasons. I believe because of an
increase in work hours, Ibelieve that people go home from
work and they take their workhome with them. I believe a lot
(06:19):
of times by the time we gethome, we can't lay it down.
Plus, we've got iPads, we've gotcomputers, we got cell phones,
and they keep ringing, and wekeep going through and trying to
tidy up and and we're so loadeddown. Some of us haven't been
the kind of dads that we maybecould have been. I believe the
(06:40):
rise in divorce rate. I cannottell you how many friends
because of divorce, I lost theirfriendship, because when that
happens, you only get two one'sgoing to drop you, and the other
is going to ride along with you.
I believe another reason is theexplosion in social media, it
seems like we used to beconcerned about face to face
(07:07):
relationships. Used to be a timeyou had a front porch with a
swing on it, and you sent andtalked as a couple, but the
television is blaring and youcan't hear them and you're
caught up with something else.
There used to be a time we hadface to face relationships, and
(07:32):
now it's thumb to thumb insteadof face to face. And we've
raised our children, and we'vetaught them how to text and how
to tweet, and they don't knowhow to talk. Adam, we're not
careful. We're getting lostsocial media. Everybody's got a
post whether their pets had abowel movement or what they ate
(07:57):
for dinner or they got a pimple,and really, nobody really cares,
but we've lost this art ofrelationship. The thing that's
very, very important to us,what's the answer for
loneliness? Well, it's not a newproblem. God that created Adam,
and in Genesis 218, he said,It's not good for man to live
(08:20):
alone. I'll make for him ahelpmate. And the answer for
loneliness is relationships. Theanswer for loneliness is
friendships. Kurt Johnson wrotea book entitled My friends, and
in his book, he said that we allhave casual friends. I would add
(08:46):
the word to that word, casualfriends circumstances. Can I
describe it with circumstances?
It's just who you meet whenyou're maneuvering out through
your daily grind, week afterweek and month after month, and
you go into the druggist and andyou talk to the girl, and she's
getting your prescriptiontogether, and you see her on her
(09:09):
she's kind of a casual friend.
And where you stop to get thathamburger, and somebody's
waiting on you, and you see himon and even maybe notice their
name, and you begin to tell themtheir name, their occasional
friend. And we've got a lot ofroom in our life for a lot of
casual friends, because they'renot consuming our time anyway,
(09:31):
and we kind of know em by seeingit. I think there's also beyond
that, what we call closefriends. And when I say close
friends, I would add the wordchoice. We choose to spend a
little bit more time with theseclose friends. Maybe you invite
them over, maybe you go to theirhouse, or you meet them
(09:52):
someplace for lunch and and we,they're they're close to us
because we've chosen that you.
But beyond casual friends,beyond close friends, you need
core friends, those that reallywould just nearly die for you.
They care that much. If you werein a jam, they'd help you to get
(10:17):
out of that jam. They wouldstand behind you when everybody
else is fighting you, you say,where do you get that preacher?
I get it out of the Bible. Jesusloved everybody. Jesus fed the
5000 but he appointed 70 someand sent them out into ministry.
(10:38):
But yet he discipled 12, but heonly mentored three. It's what
we call biblical teaching. So ifI'm going to be a good friend,
what are some of the qualitiesthat I need to have, and if
you're going to find friends,what are some of the qualities
(11:01):
that you need to look for thingsthat are helpful, things that
are practical. How can I be abetter friend? Can I just throw
a few thoughts at you? You canfaster. Thank you. Number one,
cheer up. Do you know theshortest distance between two
(11:22):
people is a smile? I can walkdown through the hospital
quarters, and I do it a lot. Ithink I've been in three this
last week and and I'm amazed athow many people walk and they
avoid eye contact, but theycatch my eye. I'm watching they
(11:43):
get a smile. This is theshortest distance. Distance only
takes 13 muscles, and I don'twant to wear myself out, but it
takes 33 to frown. Anybody herelike to be cuter? You? Smile.
(12:06):
That's all you've gotta do. Imean, if Jesus has saved you and
forgiven you of your sins, andyou don't have to go to hell now
and you're on your way toheaven, notify your face. If you
want to attract friends, cheerup. Well, Pastor, I'm going to
cheer up when things begin towork out in my life. Well, let
(12:26):
me show you a little scripture.
Maybe nobody's ever pointed itout to you, but it's Proverbs,
15, verse 30, a cheerful lookbrings joy to the heart, and the
more apt you are to workyourself into a feeling than you
are to fill yourself into anaction. Forget all the feeling
stuff, and according to thescripture, a little bit of a
(12:52):
smile brings some joy. I wouldencourage you to do that. So if
you want a friend, you all yougotta do is cheer up. Here's the
second step. That's free up. Ibelieve there's freedom in just
being yourself. I heard about anold boy the other day. He had
braces put on his false teeth sohe would appear younger. You
(13:16):
say, Well, I don't, if peoplereally knew me, they wouldn't
like me for who I am, thenprobably you're not. If you're
not yourself, you don't have afriendship anyway, because they
don't, won't even know the realyou. Well, moving along, notice
what the Scripture says, Matthew2239 Thou shalt love thy
(13:37):
neighbor as thyself, and youcan't even love others until you
love who God made you to be. Doyou know why people always
picking on everybody elsebecause they're not happy with
themselves? There's insecuritythat they're battling with, but
(14:01):
there's a freedom just beingyourself and then speak up,
pastor. I want to attractfriends. How do I do it? Well,
the Bible says, here inPhilippians, two, four, Look not
every man on his own things, butevery man also on the things of
others. So how do I do it? Askquestions. Ask how are your
(14:23):
children good? Quit tellingabout yours, and get interested
in theirs. You don't have tocomplain about your job, just
let them talk to you about theirjob. In other words, when you're
with people, be interested,instead of always trying to be
interesting.
(14:50):
Be interested, not trying to beinteresting. I think Toby Keith
had it wrong. Let's go talkabout me. Let's talk. About you
now, I don't have one heretoday, but if I had a
photographer up here on theplatform shooting a picture of
the audience, and he puttogether a real good picture,
(15:13):
and next Sunday, I tell you thatthat picture is going to be out
in the foyer. You can look at itwhen we dismiss, everybody would
run out and guess who they wouldlook at on that. And that's our
problem. If you want to have animpact on people, why do we
always talk about ourselves? Ifwe're not careful, we'll have
(15:35):
self on our mind, Calvin Kleinon our behind, and it's time
that we get ourselves off ourmind and begin to get interested
in others. The secret to beinginterested in other people,
that's the secret. So all I wantto say is cheer up. Free up.
Speak up, and then listen up.
Look at what James 119 says,Wherefore, my beloved brother,
(15:58):
let every man be swift to hear,slow to speak. Do you ever
wonder why God gave us two earsand only one mouth?
If you're a good listener,people will say, Boy, there are
great conversationalists and youhaven't said anything. Some of
(16:23):
my best friends have the art oflistening, and I fall into my
art of talking, and then Iregret it later. I promise
myself I'll never do it again.
And I do it, but some of myfriends that have really stood
out to me across the years, andI lost one the other day. He
(16:44):
could listen better than anybodyelse he was interested. So just
listen. And then here's my nextone. I'm afraid to say it, but
it's called Shut up. Now I knowI've offended somebody without
even trying, but you know whatthe Bible said? Great peace.
Have they that love the law andnothing shall offend them?
(17:06):
Everybody is offended overeverything today, crazy days.
Can I give you a great verse fora sermon? I'll give you a great
win, but I'm not going to preachit this morning. It's in First
Thessalonians, 411 that youstudy to be quiet, do your own
(17:27):
business and to work with yourown hands. Shut up, mind your
own business, and get to work.
Isn't that a great sermon? Well,I'll move along. Look at what
Proverbs 1113, says, a tailbearer revealeth secrets, but he
that is of a faithful spiritconcealeth the matter. I'm
(17:49):
talking about confidentiality.
If you're going to be a goodfriend, you've got to understand
what it means to beconfidential. One guy said,
Pastor. He said, I can keep asecret, but the people I talk to
can't. Now, here's what I wantto say to you. Your gossip will
find you out. It will you say,Well, I want to give a prayer
(18:14):
request about George. No, youjust want to let everybody know,
and God knows what you're doing.
God sees now, if you wantemotional problems, let me tell
you how to have em. Just gossip.
Just gossip. You see, where'dyou get that from? From the
(18:35):
Bible. That's my problem. I readit. Here's what the Bible says,
Proverbs, 2123 whoso, keepethhis mouth and his tongue.
Keepeth his soul from trouble.
What's your soul, your mind,your emotions and your will. You
(18:56):
want to mess up emotionally,just keep gossiping, because
it'll get you in trouble. Now, Ipastored for years, and I
believe in the intrinsic valueof life. I believe that every
life is facial. I believe thatGod has a purpose for every
(19:17):
life. I believe in the samesanctity of marriage. I believe
in a traditional marriage. Yougot a problem with that? I
believe the Bible teaches that amarriage is between a man and a
woman, and after all of theseyears of pastoring, those issues
(19:42):
haven't affected the churchnearly as much as gossiping. Has
You got any advice y'all Shutup. I wouldn't have to say it
here, but it's, well, let's goto another one. Uh, show up.
(20:04):
Show up. I'm talking about whendifficult times come, just show
up. When I first came here,about the first about the second
year I was here, a lady calledme and said, my brother's going
in for open heart surgerytomorrow? Would you go see him?
Then I had a tight schedule. Ididn't know the man. I drove out
(20:27):
at old 30 and finally locatedthe mobile home where he lived.
Never met him before. He'ssitting on a picnic table and
he's thinking about open heartsurgery. And I pull in, he'd
never seen me. He wasn't toosure about preachers, and I had
to break the ice. And boy, ittook a big AX. And finally, I
had a word of prayer with him. Igot back to the house, and the
(20:52):
phone rang, as that same ladysaid, Now, would you go down and
sit with my brother at theMethodist Is it the Methodist
Hospital? What's that one downthere Riverside? And I said,
you're not going to be there.
No. She said, I've got to go tothe state fair. Well, I might
(21:14):
like to go too, but I went notto the fair. That wouldn't have
been fair. But I have peoplecall me and say, preacher,
somebody's companion just walkedout on somebody's baby just
(21:35):
died. And you're trained to talkto him. You're trained in
knowing what to say. You got mewrong. I've never been trained
on what to say. Neither have anyof my pastor buddies. None of
them have been trained on whatto say when a baby dies or
somebody's wife or husband haswalked out on him. So what do
you do? If you're a friend, youjust show up. You just show up.
(22:00):
It's not your platform. They'reinterested. It's your presence.
It's not what you have to say.
It's just that you're a friendand you care, and you show up.
And when somebody has a tragedyin their life, and the worst
thing you can do is run in witha Bible, flipping down through
(22:23):
the scriptures in Romans, 828, Iknow your baby died, but God's
working all things together.
They're not ready to hear thatright now. What do they need?
They need a friend that'll justshow up. They need presence.
Think about it. Job. Losteverything he had. He lost his
(22:43):
children, he lost his finances,he lost his health, and his
friends showed up, and for sevendays they sat there and never
said a word, and it waswonderful, till they opened
their mouth, and that's when theproblem started. Read the I'm
not making all this up. Part ofit's true. Y'all here, just show
(23:04):
up. Friends, show up. I'm herewhen the tough times come. And
then I'm going to throw aseventh one in here. Stand up.
Notice what the scripture said.
Proverbs, 27 verse five, Openrebuke is better than secret.
(23:27):
Love. Faithful are the wounds ofa friend, but the kisses of an
enemy are deceitful. Sometimes atrue friend will say to you, you
were wrong. Sometimes a truefriend will say you're going
down a wrong, dangerous path. Atrue friend will say you you
(23:51):
didn't show the right attitudeback younger. I'm just telling
you, we're friends now. A truefriend will tell you you're
making a big mistake. Thinkabout it. True. Friends say good
things behind your back and theysay the tough things to your
faith. If somebody supportsevery decision you make, even if
(24:16):
they're wrong, they're not theperson that you're needing in
your life. Somebody said, Idon't need a friend that changes
when I change and nods when Inod, my shadow does that much
better. The old preacher wasteaching a young preacher how to
(24:37):
do counseling, and he wasserving his clinicals under him,
and so he said quietly at theside over the corner of the
office. And the lady came in andshe said, My husband, he's
brutal, and my husband's mean,and my my husband's not
understanding, and my husbanddoesn't say what I need to hear.
(24:57):
And the old preacher said,You're right. You. You're right,
you're right. After a while, thehusband came in, and he said,
all the problems on my wife'sside. He said, You're right,
you're right, you're right. Whenhe left, the young preacher
said, you got me as confused asa termite and a yo yo. When she
(25:21):
came in, you said you're right,you're right, you're right. And
when he came in, you said you'reright, and the old preacher said
You're right, you're right,you're right. Sometimes we need
a friend that will say you'rewrong, you're wrong. This time,
you're wrong. Here's an eightthing I'll throw at you for a
(25:43):
moment. I guess I'll quit onthese. Give up. Look at what
Proverbs 17 six says, Many willentreat the favor of the prince,
and every man is a friend to himthat giveth gives. What's he
saying? Rather than trying toget decide in your heart that
you're going to be a giver.
Insteadof looking for people who will
(26:05):
give to me, look for theopportunities for you to be a
giver, because givers alwayshave more than enough, and
takers never have enough. Lookto be a giver. Bill Bright said,
I'd rather give my gifts whilemy hands are warm. You say,
(26:27):
Pastor, I need a friend. Wherecan I get some friends? Well,
look at what the Bible saysHebrews 1024, let us think of
ways to motivate one another toacts of love and good works. Let
us not neglect our meetingtogether, as some people do, but
(26:51):
encourage one another,especially now that today, of
His return is drawing near. Ican't think of a better place to
meet people than the house ofGod, than the house of God, I
said, the house of God. Now, ifyou look around, you're sitting
(27:15):
in rows. Can I just say to you,from my heart to yours, after
100 years of preaching, we needto be getting into some circles.
Instead of just having a faceoff and always instruction, some
of us need some fellowship. Someof us need friendship. And when
I say that, you gotta understandI'm talking from the pastor's
(27:40):
perspective, when I've seen itin these little, small groups
sometimes, where you can developproblems, but I still know that
if we don't begin to get into acircle and have accountability
and encouragement from othersand have a friend or two, we're
not going to make it in thetough times circles, we need
(28:01):
people. We need encouragement.
Now I'm saying, if you can behere instead of just watching my
live stream, it's kind of likenot going to heaven, but you get
to watch you church. Now I'm nottalking about my friends
(28:25):
watching my live stream ortelevision who are miles from
here and can't be in church. I'msaying to us that could be we
need the fellowship and we needmore than pajamas and a cup of
coffee and and not leaving thehouse if we're not careful, we
(28:45):
we miss out on that camaraderie,and we miss out on that settling
of the presence of God in agathering. We need one another.
Now, in closing, I just want tomention, I won't tell you about
my best friend, and his name isJesus. And as a boy, growing up
(29:06):
as a sinner boy without God inmy heart, I came out of a broken
home, mom and dad. Dad hadmarried. My mom became my dad,
and they got saved. They wasn'ton purpose. They did not intend
for it to happen, but they wentto a revival. Happened to be a
(29:30):
little Nazarene church. Lateryears, I would pastor that
church in Brazil, Indiana, andthey got saved that crazy
preacher give an altar call, andthey got mama got under
conviction. Dad had already toldher, we should go. They put you
under a spell. And Dad said hewas getting mad. They're
(29:54):
standing in the back and thealtar calls going, and he said,
it's time to leave. She said,It's too late. I'm under the.
Spell, these folk are happy andI'm not happy. And after that, I
met Jesus, because mom and dadgot saved and I had a sin dad
(30:15):
and Jesus, who had no debt, tookon my debt. Now I've been
pastoring for 33 years righthere. I've done a little bit
elsewhere before they put themoving van in front of my house.
I may have elaborated on that abit because I don't want any
(30:36):
phone calls from where I pastor.
It said that's not the way itwas. That's the problem with
this social media. I can't tella story, but what I don't get a
call before the day is over fromelsewhere. But I pastored here
for 33 years, and I've hadpeople that believed in me and
stood behind me and I thoughtwould be my friend and be a
supporter, clearly the end, butit hasn't worked out that way,
(31:00):
and they're gone. Fact a matter,if I could have everybody that
was a part of this church acrossthese 33 years, this building
wouldn't begin to hold them.
Some of you have had friendsthat you thought would be there
to the end, and they haven'tlasted. But I want to tell you
(31:22):
there is a friend that stickethcloser than a brother. His name
is Jesus, and when everybodyelse walks out, he'll never
leave you nor forsake you. Andfrom where I am at this stage in
life, I need to tell some ofyou, there'll be a time you'll
(31:44):
wish that you knew him as yourfriend, because some of those
that you thought they'll beabsent, and suddenly you're on
your own. We all need friends,but there's one friend you
really can't hardly make itwithout his name's Jesus. I want
(32:07):
my guests that are here thismorning to remember that back in
that grand foyer, there's alittle cafe over there, and
you're invited to get your freecup of whatever you want.
Keith's going to pay for it, andI find my paycheck, I'll pay him
back. We're that grateful thatyou've come and decided to make
(32:29):
this to be a place that youwould visit this morning. How
honored we are to think thatsomebody would drive by and say,
you know, we need to try thatchurch out. I don't even know
how to thank you for coming. Ihope you'll like it so well.
You'll come back. I'm planningon being here next Sunday, even
myself. Father, thanks
Unknown (32:52):
for being a part of the voice of the Nazarene. Visit us
every Sunday at 9am with B andC's pastor, Ray LaSalle, for
more information regarding BNCvisit bucyrusnazarene.org. You.
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