On this episode of Boomer Living, I'll be speaking to Michael Marley. His passion for helping families through difficult situations surrounding dementia long-term care has led him to counsel thousands of families. His goal is to help them come out of their crisis stronger and with the right next steps for their situation with over a thousand families seen.
[00:00] Pre-intro discussion
[02:11] Walk us through why you made the shift in your career and where are you located right now?
[03:19] Do you feel that your past roles prepare you in any way for your current role?
[05:07] What are some of the biggest commonalities that you've seen with the kind of help that they're seeking?
[06:06] How do you tailor your advice for each family? Or each specific family situation? What kind of questions do you ask them to ensure they're getting the right solution for them?
[07:51] Do you ever find it hard to maintain a high level of let's say "empathy" for their specific situation?
[11:40] What are some of the top reasons why a potential resident may be hesitant to enter the senior living community? Do you have any other top reason why a potential resident may be hesitant to go into a senior living community?
[13:03] The emotional needs and commitment to each other are very hard to separate. What solutions can you explore to get around these roadblocks?
[14:30] You cannot give what you don't have.
[15:47] Designing communities that serve the older population.
[18:55] What do you think are the biggest misconceptions our society has around dementia? And why do you think all of these misconceptions exist?
[21:03] How would you know, what's the difference? Senility, cognitive decline, Dementia, Alzheimer. For someone that's outside of the industry, how are they to understand this?
[22:26] Stories of those with dementia: Storytelling, letter writing, family and friends abandoning and not visiting those with dementia. The importance of communication. Just because the person with dementia stops talking doesn't mean they are not listening.
[27:55] There is definitely more need to learn how to communicate, understand, and care in emotional ways with folks with dementia. Everybody needs to be certified to make sure that, but without a heart, it's not going to work.
[29:27] In the future, do you think there'll be more people like you? Who tries to have an understanding of the experiences of the families before trying to match their loved one with the right senior care home?
[30:38] How and when did you find that senior living senior care was your calling?
[32:52] Ultimately your loved one is the one that's going to make a decision and along the way of family members can navigate with them, but ultimately, it has to be what is best for your loved one?
[34:56] Do you have anything else that you would like to share?
Michael Marley's experiences in senior living care homes go back 11 years, all in the UK. In that time, He has had meetings with literally thousands of families, who've typically reached a crisis point with a parent (usually), who is still living at home.
Michael discovered that the commercial side of senior living was very focused on what it thought might look appealing to families, but there was little understanding of the trauma that families themselves go through when arriving at this point in their lives. This then became his area to develop, where very few others were paying that area too much attention.
Recently, Michael has started working on a book, that is specifically for the family, rather than focusing on the future care home resident.
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