EP123: Why Identity-Led Leadership Terrifies the System

Send me a direct message!

It's time to dismantle the myth of leadership as a performance and drop the truth about leading from identity. No corporate polish. No institutional obedience. No permission required.

If you’ve ever been praised for your “executive presence” and still felt invisible. If you’ve ever been told to soften your tone, adjust your message, or wait to speak. This conversation cuts through that noise. Let's dive into the uncomfortable truth that leadership without identity isn’t leadership at all — it’s make believe. And the women who are brave enough to lead from identity? They’re the ones who shift culture, reset standards, and redefine what power looks like.

Expect confrontation. Expect self-recognition. Expect clarity on why identity-led leadership is the most disruptive — and powerful — move you can make in a system that rewards compliance over truth.

You’ll walk away knowing exactly what it looks like to stop performing leadership and start living it. And why your identity isn’t a liability but is in fact the foundation of legacy.

Key takeaways:

• What “leading from identity” actually means
• Why performative leadership fails women in the long run
• How identity-led leadership threatens any system built on conformity
• A direct challenge to act on your identity now

Perfect for ambitious women, cultural disruptors, and every leader sick of being told to tone it down.

Support the show

Love what you heard? Let’s stay connected!

Subscribe to my newsletter for bold insights on leadership, strategy, and building your legacy — straight to your inbox every week.

Follow me on LinkedIn for more no-nonsense advice on leading with power and purpose.

And if you’re ready to dive even deeper, grab a copy of my book Bite-Sized Blasphemy and ignite your inner fire to do life and business your way.

The Business Blasphemy Podcast is sponsored by NYSH Strategic and Sarah Khan Out Loud.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Welcome to this space where bold truths, real
strategies, and unfilteredstories fuel ambitious women who
want more power, leadership, andlegacy on their turn.
Because in too many circles, awoman doing what she wants, how
she wants, and winning is theblasphemous as fuck.
Welcome to Business Blasphemy.

(00:24):
Hello, hello, blasphemers.
Welcome back to BusinessBlasphemy, the podcast that
calls out the status quo andthen arms women with the real
strategy to build real power andreal legacy.
I'm Sarah Kahn, speaker,leadership strategist, and your
blasphemous host.
I want to talk about somethingthat has got my knickers in a
twist, and it gets tossed aroundlike a cute inspirational phrase

(00:48):
or meme, but is actually one ofthe most subversive high-stakes
moves you will ever make as aleader.
And that is leading fromidentity.
You want to know why it's sodangerous?
Why corporations, industries,even the lauded personal
development world avoid thisconversation?

(01:11):
Because leadership that is builton identity can't be controlled.
Influenced, maybe, but neverowned outright.
And systems hate what theycannot own.
Now, most people we call leadersaren't really leading.
They are performing leadership.

(01:31):
They're performing a version ofleadership that we have been
told is actual leadership.
It's one of the seven models orwhatever.
They're wearing the role ofleadership, like a costume.
One they didn't buy, one theydidn't choose, but one they are
absolutely freaking terrified totake off because it is the only
thing that is standing betweenthem and being dismissed, or as

(01:53):
we like to say nowadays,canceled.
And you know exactly what I'mtalking about, right?
Leadership in most circles seemsto follow this weird script.
You be polite, you show you'recompetent, and you come in with
confidence.
That's it.
Politeness, competence,confidence.
And if you're a woman,especially if you are a woman of
color, the expectations aretenfold.
Be bold, but don't be abrasive.

(02:16):
Be direct, but don't be a bitch.
Be strategic, but oh, never besmarter than the people in the
room.
And certainly do not threatenthem with your intelligence.
They want your brilliance, butthey don't want you to stand in
your power.
And that is the problem withperformative leadership.
Look at every leadership book onthe bestseller list, every
fucking keynote at a corporateconference, every LinkedIn

(02:37):
thought piece, it's almostalways telling women how to
adapt better, right?
How to communicate better, howto manage better, how to present
better, how to embody executivepresence.
It's this lifelong checklist ofbehavior management that is
designed to make your poweractually less disruptive to the

(02:58):
status quo.
But what leadership shouldreally be is anchored in your
identity, anchored in yourbelief, anchored in the act of
showing up as who you actuallyare, with no intention at all to
minimize your truth to makesomeone else feel comfortable.

(03:19):
And that is exactly why it feelsso wrong and it feels so
dangerous, and so many peopleavoid it.
Leading from your true identitymeans finally snapping the leash
that the system put on yourvoice so it could walk you into
rooms and parade you around, buttake credit for your ideas.
Leading from identity means nolonger being the palatable

(03:42):
version of yourself thateverybody else prefers.
It means stepping fully into whoyou are and daring them to
adjust instead of the other wayaround.
Identity is not branding.
It is not the coaching-approvedword for personality.
Identity is your origin story,right?
It's your history, it's yourboundaries, it's your lived
experience, it's your culturalmemory, it's your epigenetic

(04:05):
DNA, it's your worldview, all ofthose things coming together and
showing up without apology oredit.
You can't lead from identity orsay you're leading from
identity, but stay in compliancewith how the world expects you
to lead, how to how it expectsyou to show up, how it expects
you to behave, especially ifyou're a woman of color.

(04:29):
Especially if you're deeplyambitious and deeply
self-defined.
Especially if the system hastaught you to wait for
permission before you take upspace and make sure other people
are comfortable with it.
Leading from identity demandsthat you stop looking for
permission entirely.
This is why they're afraid ofpeople who embrace their true
identity, because identity-ledleadership threatens that status

(04:51):
quo.
It disrupts the hierarchy, itpisses off the patriarchy, it
removes gatekeepers, it takespower out of the realm of
performance and puts it backinto the hands of the people, of
the person, individual.
Systems, whether they arecorporate or academic or
entrepreneurial or otherwise,they are all built on
predictability.

(05:12):
They want leaders that they cananticipate, that they can
manage, and that they canposition how and where they
want.
They want you inspirational, butnot too inspiring, right?
They want you strong, but theystill want you malleable.
They want you to show your showyour success, prove that it can
be done, but never to the pointwhere your existence forces them

(05:34):
to change.
And when a woman leads fromidentity, all of that bullshit
collapses.
When she truly embraces the coreof who she is, she becomes
undeniable and inconvenient anduncontrollable.
And that is exactly what impactlooks like.
So let's make this tangible.

(05:56):
Leading from identity, what doesit actually mean?
How do you start?
Well, it starts by saying thingsothers won't say.
It looks like being at theforefront of change when it
makes everybody in the roomuncomfortable.
It looks like refusing totranslate your voice, your

(06:16):
message, how you show up, howyou dress, all of that to fit
their aesthetic.
It looks like walking away fromorganizations and opportunities
and relationships that requireyou to shrink yourself further
and further until you'reinvisible.
And the truth is, you might losesome people, you might lose some
status, you might lose somefollowers, but what you'll gain

(06:39):
is an enormous amount ofself-respect.
And self-respect that shows up.
Like people see that.
And the influence that you buildfrom that place is gonna outlast
every single fucker whounderestimated you.
And we really need to stoppretending this is just lip
service, like this is sometheory that seems nice on the

(07:00):
surface, but isn't possiblebecause it's not the way the
world works.
I am challenging you to dosomething today that aligns your
leadership with your identity,not the conditioning that you
have lived with your entirelife.
I want you to choose one thingto do this week, okay?
I'm gonna give you threeoptions.
Here's the first one.
I want you to say the thing.
I want you to say whatever thingyou have been editing for safety

(07:23):
or palatability or uh comfort,but that you have been wanting
to say and you wish you couldsay it, but you're just not sure
how people are gonna react.
I want you to fucking say it.
Just say it and see whathappens.
The second option is I want youto stop translating your
cultural identity, like who youtruly are at your root into some
sort of version of business orcorporate palatability.

(07:46):
Show up as the person you reallyare, the face that you have at
home.
Or number three, and actually,this one's pretty powerful.
I want you to remove yourapproval, withdraw your approval
from all of those spaces andcommunities and networks that
you are in that only value yourcontribution if it is in line

(08:07):
with the compliance that theywant.
And you know exactly which onesI'm talking about.
The friend groups, thenetworking groups, the
communities, the events that yougo to, all of the ones that you
have to look and act and behaveand believe a certain way, or
you're just not welcome.
Pull yourself the fuck out ofthere and see what happens.

(08:30):
Because it's either theircomfort or it's your power.
There is never a time when youget to have both.
When you are able to lead fromidentity, that is a rebellion.
It is a refusal to continue tofollow the status quo.
And it is also the onlyleadership that is worth
following, because it's the onlyleadership that's actually gonna

(08:51):
change anything.
So if you are ready to makeother people clutch their
pearls, good, if you're ready tomake them whisper your name with
discomfort, but grudgingrespect, even better.
Because leadership withoutidentity isn't leadership, it
never was, it never will be.
It is performance, and I don'tknow about you, but I did not

(09:12):
come here to perform.
I came here to fucking lead.
So stay bold, stay blasphemous.
I'll see you next week.
Thanks for listening.
Hey, do us a favor subscribe tothe show, rate your favorite
episode, or share it with yourfriends.
And remember, your blasphemy isnecessary.