November 25, 2025 • 16 mins
In this episode, I break down a truth that ambitious women were never taught to name. The mainstream definition of psychological safety doesn’t work for women who think fast, carry emotional responsibility like a second skin, and lead with conviction. I talk about why our bodies tighten in so-called “supportive” spaces, how early conditioning shapes the way we show up in leadership, and why emotional safety is actually rooted in the absence of self-betrayal, not the absence of conflict.
I walk you through how personal history, cultural expectations, and professional norms collide for high-performing women, and how those layers change the way we understand safety, belonging, and power. You’ll hear the real reasons why rooms want us softened, slowed down, or “reasonable,” and why ambitious women instinctively scan for emotional risks before saying a single word.
I also name the specific emotional needs ambitious women carry but hide because we’ve been conditioned to believe they’re “too much”: the need for autonomy, honesty, challenge, mental space, directness, and being taken seriously without having to prove ourselves over and over.
Finally, I offer five concrete actions you can take this week to stop abandoning yourself and start rebuilding emotional safety from the inside out.
If you’re ready for real talk on leadership, identity, boundaries, emotional safety, and what it means to operate at your full capacity without apology, this episode is for you.
Love what you heard? Let’s stay connected!
Subscribe to my newsletter for bold insights on leadership, strategy, and building your legacy — straight to your inbox every week.
Follow me on LinkedIn for more no-nonsense advice on leading with power and purpose.
And if you’re ready to dive even deeper, grab a copy of my book Bite-Sized Blasphemy and ignite your inner fire to do life and business your way.
The Business Blasphemy Podcast is sponsored by NYSH Strategic and Sarah Khan Out Loud.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
Welcome to this space where bold truths, real
strategies, and unfilteredstories fuel ambitious women who
want more power, leadership, andlegacy on their turns.
Because in too many circles, awoman doing what she wants, how
she wants, and winning is toblasphemous as fuck.
Welcome to Business Blasphemy.
(00:24):
Hello, hello, blasphemers.
Welcome back to BusinessBlasphemy.
I am Sarah Kahn, yourblasphemous host.
Let's start with a truth thatmost women were never given
language for.
And that is that the version ofemotional safety, also known as
psychological safety, that wewere taught to accept was not
created for women who thinkquickly, who are able to read a
(00:46):
room instantly, who are able toanticipate needs before anybody
asks, who carry emotionalresponsibility like a second
fucking skin, and who lead witha level of conviction that can
make other people uncomfortable.
We are told that safety meansbeing calm and agreeable and
adaptable and predictable, butthe definition has never made
(01:10):
sense for women who grew upsocialized to manage everyone
else's reactions and excel ateverything at the same time.
Not once.
Not in any space where you evershowed up fully.
I personally didn't understandthis at first.
I used to walk into rooms thatwere marketed as supportive and
welcoming, you know, leadershipcircles and women's groups and
(01:32):
masterminds, and I would feel mychest tighten before anyone even
said a friggin' word.
I just had that familiar pullof, ugh, like deep in my ribs,
that the one that your bodysends when something in the room
doesn't quite match what isbeing presented overtly.
(01:52):
It was never anything dramatic,but it was always there and it
was unshakable.
And over time, what I learned isthat the tension wasn't coming
from the room itself.
Like there was nothing wrongwith the people, there was
nothing wrong with what theywere doing or sharing.
It was coming from what the roomexpected from me.
Because even in those supportivespaces, there was always an
(02:15):
unspoken agreement.
Do not be too direct.
Do not outpace the room.
Do not rock the dynamic.
Don't bring the kind of claritythat forces people to actually
face what they've been avoiding.
Don't be the woman who changesthe tone of the room just by
being honest.
I could feel those expectationsthe minute I sat down.
(02:37):
And once I was able toarticulate that, that's when
everything started to make senseto me.
These rooms didn't need me to besmaller or shrink because they
disliked me.
They needed me to be smallbecause my full presence
disrupted the emotional balancethat the group relied on.
So my intelligence, my speed, mydirectness, my ambition, all of
(02:59):
the things that make me powerfulalso have the power to expose
what's not working in a groupdynamic.
And some spaces cannot handlethat.
Not because I'm too much, butbecause truth has this really
bad habit of rearranging thehierarchy in a room.
Truth removes the permissionstructure that everybody uses to
(03:22):
avoid responsibility.
Truth is what shifts whoactually gets to lead.
So the room instinctively pushesback ambitious women and
requires them to shrink orsoften their tone or slow down,
not for her safety, but foreverybody else's comfort.
And that is the exact momentwhen the supposed psychological
(03:46):
safety actually unravels andbecomes psychological unsafety.
Because psychological safety isnot built by protecting the
room.
It is built by allowing thetruth to exist without penalty.
Let me define psychological oremotional safety in a way that
makes sense for women who areactually ambitious and who have
(04:08):
lived both personal andprofessional conditioning.
First of all, you need tounderstand that emotional and
psychological safety are not theabsence of conflict.
They are actually rooted in theabsence of self-betrayal.
It is the ability to bring yourentire self, your speed, your
(04:29):
depth, your clarity, yourpassion, your fire, being able
to bring them into a spacewithout needing to dilute any of
those parts in order to betolerated.
Psychological or emotionalsafety comes from knowing that
your competence is not going tobe punished.
Your ambition is not going to beweaponized against you or
against someone else.
(04:50):
Your directness is not going tobe misread as aggression.
Your boundaries are not going tobe interpreted as being
difficult or having an attitude.
Your standards are not going tobe labeled as, you know, too
much.
And your full intelligence isnot going to require constant
translation.
And when you do have emotionalneeds, they're not going to be
(05:10):
dismissed as you being dramatic.
When your upbringing, when yoursocialization, when your
conditioning taught you toanticipate everyone else's
needs, when your career taughtyou to be twice as competent for
half the recognition, when yourrelationships taught you that
you have to regulate thefeelings of other people, your
system is now wired to scan theroom and adjust before you even
(05:33):
realize you're doing it.
And that is the personal nowbleeding into the professional.
And it's why emotional safety isa completely different
experience for women who carryboth histories.
We've been sold this myth thatsafe spaces are peaceful spaces.
They are quiet, they are kind,they are conflict-free, and
(05:53):
everybody is smiling andeverybody is agreeable.
But women like us learned veryearly on that peaceful rooms are
often the ones where we'reexpected to shoulder the
emotional labor that keepsthings peaceful.
So in your family, that may havelooked like not upsetting
anybody, anticipating needsbefore they were ever spoken, or
being the responsible one, orbeing the one who didn't cause
(06:15):
trouble.
In your career in the workplace,maybe that looked like, you
know, being the team'sstability, being the one that
everybody goes to, being the onewho communicates well because
you smooth over other messes, orbeing the one that people
emotionally rely on orstrategically rely on, being the
one who adjusts when the roomcan't keep up with your ideas,
so you dumb yourself down orquiet yourself out.
(06:36):
This conditioning taught youthat calm doesn't actually mean
safe.
It means contained.
It means controlled.
It means don't bring anythingthat challenges the status quo
or the dynamic of the situation.
So when people talk aboutemotional safety or
psychological safety, like it'ssome pastel room full of soft
voices and perfect harmony, ofcourse it doesn't resonate with
(06:58):
you.
Because harmony that requiresyou to silence is not harmony.
It's erasure, it'sself-abandonment.
So here's the pattern that I'veobserved that ambitious,
high-performing women often livewith, both personally and
professionally.
And I want you to really hearyourself in this.
Okay?
You feel grounded when yourbrain is fully switched on.
(07:22):
Because you were raised to beresponsible before you were ever
allowed to be soft orvulnerable.
You feel secure whencommunication is direct, because
you grew up interpreting tone,interpreting silence and nuance
and emotional shifts, like yourlife depended on it, because
sometimes it did.
(07:42):
You relax when you are trustedwith autonomy.
Micromanagement bugs the shitout of you because you've always
had to fight for the right tomake decisions for yourself.
You settle into yourself whenyou are around people who
understand your pace, becausethe world has repeatedly told
you to slow down for the comfortof the people who don't move
(08:04):
like you.
You feel emotionally safe whennobody expects you to carry the
group emotionally, because youhave learned early that holding
everyone's feelings was part of,you know, being the good girl.
And you feel unsafe the minutesomebody masks their intentions
or avoids accountability orweaponizes niceness, because you
(08:27):
have lived with the consequencesof trusting inconsistency.
Your nervous system respondsbefore your brain ever does.
And it is not because you aretoo sensitive, it is because you
are too fucking experienced.
Because you have decades ofevidence that rooms that want
you quiet are the rooms that areeventually going to punish you
(08:50):
for being honest.
So, what is the reframe?
It is that emotional safety forambitious women is not the
absence of risk.
It is the presence of truth,both internal truth and external
truth.
It is the ability to trust whatyour body is telling you without
(09:10):
gaslighting yourself.
It is the freedom to letyourself be fully present to
take up space the way itnaturally wants to.
It is the knowledge that you'renot going to pay a price for
being honest or being competentor being ambitious or even just
being direct without having tocouch everything you say in
platitudes so people don't feeluncomfortable.
(09:31):
But most importantly, emotionaland psychological safety is the
moment you stop negotiating youridentity for access.
The minute an ambitious womanfeels that level of alignment,
everything changes.
Relationships shift, yourtolerance drops, your boundaries
(09:52):
get sharper, your clarity comesback.
Because you finally understandthe difference between being
included and being safe.
So here's what I want you to askyourself.
Without softening it, withoutgaslighting yourself, without
minimizing it, withoutdefaulting to it, it's not that
bad.
I can handle it.
Because I know you can.
But the point is you shouldn'thave to.
So I want you to ask yourself,where are you acting like you
(10:14):
feel safe when you know youdon't?
Where are you acceptingemotional crumbs because you've
gotten used to surviving onthem?
Where are you playing thereasonable woman because the
room has no idea what to do withyour full intelligence?
Where are you holding yourselfback because the truth is going
to change the relationship?
Where are you carrying emotionallabor that was never yours to
(10:35):
carry in the first place?
Where have you normalizedenvironments that shrink you?
These questions matter becauseambitious women do not lose
themselves all at once.
They lose themselves piece bypiece.
It's in the meetings where youstayed quiet.
It's in the relationship whereyou took on more than your
share.
It's in the role where youstopped asking for what you
(10:56):
needed because you didn't wantto seem difficult or selfish.
It's in that friendship whereyou were always the strong one,
but never the one who wassupported in return.
Those moments accumulate overtime.
And before you know it, you'rerunning a life from a template,
from a blueprint that was neveractually built for you.
(11:19):
And that is why you feel sounfulfilled and so
understimulated, even thoughyour calendar is so busy and
you've accomplished so freakingmuch.
So let's say out loud the needsthat ambitious women
consistently hide because wehave been conditioned to think
that these needs areinconvenient.
Okay?
(11:39):
You need space to think.
Why?
Because you spent years thinkingon behalf of everybody else.
You make decisions for everybodyelse.
You have decision fatigue.
You need space to think.
Quiet time.
Time for yourself.
Baby, you need to rest.
You need to allow yourself theopportunity to not do anything
(12:02):
or be anything and just let yourbrain do what it needs to do.
You need space to think.
You also need honesty becauseyou grew up decoding people who
couldn't communicate directly.
So you need people in your lifewho will speak plainly, who will
be honest when it's important,and allow you to do the same.
(12:23):
You need people who move at yourspeed.
Why?
Because you have spent too longslowing yourself down to avoid
making everyone else around youinsecure.
You need to stop carrying theemotional fallout.
It's time to stop being theemotional backbone you were
raised to be.
And oh my goodness, you needchallenge.
Because stagnation is nodifferent than disappearing,
(12:46):
really.
So you need to find spaces thatactually intellectually
stimulate and challenge you.
But most importantly, you needto be taken seriously because
competence comes naturally toyou.
Unfortunately, respect has neverbeen automatically granted to
you.
And these are not dramaticneeds, these are remedial
(13:07):
repairs for women whose identityand ambition and emotional labor
have been weaponized againstthem for years.
So, how do we take that firststep to remedying all of this?
Choose one thing to do thisweek.
Just one.
And it and it's not to fix yourlife, it's not to be productive,
but it's to stop abandoning thetruth of who you are.
(13:30):
And I'm gonna give you optionslike I always do.
I want you to pick one thing.
And if you're feeling reallyambitious, you can do more than
one thing, but start with one.
So maybe this week make oneboundary really explicit to the
people around you.
Because I know that you grew upkeeping the peace, and it's time
for this to be your first act ofself-respect.
Maybe the thing you do is endone situation where you
(13:52):
overexplain.
And I know that that hastraditionally for you been a
survival strategy.
It's time to retire it becauseyou don't need to survive
anymore.
You need to thrive.
Maybe your one action this weekis declining a request that
actually drains you, thatdoesn't align with you.
And I want you to sit with thediscomfort of having done that,
of having disappointed somebody,because that's where the
unlearning actually happens.
(14:15):
Maybe the move you make thisweek is calling one dynamic what
it really is, putting a label onthe tension and trusting that
when you do that, you're gonnafeel your power start to return
to you.
Or maybe it's giving yourselfone space where your full self
is welcome.
Whether it's a space or oneperson, but somewhere, someone
(14:38):
with whom you can stop editingyourself and let your real voice
come back online.
And I know that's gonna taketime, but I kind of feel like
you probably know where thatspace or that person is.
So it's time to invest in that.
And these are not things to puton your to-do list and check
them off, they're not tasks.
(14:58):
These are like minirecalibrations that are gonna
allow you to step back into yourown identity after years of
conforming yourself andcontorting yourself into shapes
that no human should ever reallybe.
And above all of it, underneathall of it, around all of it, is
the question that really mattersthe most.
(15:20):
And that is what emotional needhave you been ignoring because
you were taught it was too much?
If you do nothing else, I wantyou to put a name on that.
I want you to write it down.
What is the emotional need thatyou've been ignoring?
Because everybody keeps tellingyou it's just too big, it's too
much, it's too needy.
Let that truth exist outside ofyour brain.
(15:42):
Because you, your power, yourleadership, none of those things
can keep growing on top of theparts of yourself that you keep
silencing.
Because no matter what you do,no matter how many investments
you make, no matter how muchwork you put into something,
your next level is not gonnacome from being agreeable.
It is gonna come from being yourwhole ass self.
(16:05):
So let me know which one you'regonna pick and come hit me up on
social media because you knowthat's where the work continues.
I see you, I hear you, you areloved, you are safe, and you can
have success without the BS.
But it comes from feeling safein yourself first.
I'll talk to you next week.
(16:29):
Thanks for listening.
Hey, do us a favor subscribe tothe show, rate your favorite
episode, or share it with yourfriends.
And remember, your blasphemy isnecessary.
Welcome to this space where bold truths, real
strategies, and unfilteredstories fuel ambitious women who
want more power, leadership, andlegacy on their turns.
Because in too many circles, awoman doing what she wants, how
she wants, and winning is toblasphemous as fuck.
Welcome to Business Blasphemy.
(00:24):
Hello, hello, blasphemers.
Welcome back to BusinessBlasphemy.
I am Sarah Kahn, yourblasphemous host.
Let's start with a truth thatmost women were never given
language for.
And that is that the version ofemotional safety, also known as
psychological safety, that wewere taught to accept was not
created for women who thinkquickly, who are able to read a
(00:46):
room instantly, who are able toanticipate needs before anybody
asks, who carry emotionalresponsibility like a second
fucking skin, and who lead witha level of conviction that can
make other people uncomfortable.
We are told that safety meansbeing calm and agreeable and
adaptable and predictable, butthe definition has never made
(01:10):
sense for women who grew upsocialized to manage everyone
else's reactions and excel ateverything at the same time.
Not once.
Not in any space where you evershowed up fully.
I personally didn't understandthis at first.
I used to walk into rooms thatwere marketed as supportive and
welcoming, you know, leadershipcircles and women's groups and
(01:32):
masterminds, and I would feel mychest tighten before anyone even
said a friggin' word.
I just had that familiar pullof, ugh, like deep in my ribs,
that the one that your bodysends when something in the room
doesn't quite match what isbeing presented overtly.
(01:52):
It was never anything dramatic,but it was always there and it
was unshakable.
And over time, what I learned isthat the tension wasn't coming
from the room itself.
Like there was nothing wrongwith the people, there was
nothing wrong with what theywere doing or sharing.
It was coming from what the roomexpected from me.
Because even in those supportivespaces, there was always an
(02:15):
unspoken agreement.
Do not be too direct.
Do not outpace the room.
Do not rock the dynamic.
Don't bring the kind of claritythat forces people to actually
face what they've been avoiding.
Don't be the woman who changesthe tone of the room just by
being honest.
I could feel those expectationsthe minute I sat down.
(02:37):
And once I was able toarticulate that, that's when
everything started to make senseto me.
These rooms didn't need me to besmaller or shrink because they
disliked me.
They needed me to be smallbecause my full presence
disrupted the emotional balancethat the group relied on.
So my intelligence, my speed, mydirectness, my ambition, all of
(02:59):
the things that make me powerfulalso have the power to expose
what's not working in a groupdynamic.
And some spaces cannot handlethat.
Not because I'm too much, butbecause truth has this really
bad habit of rearranging thehierarchy in a room.
Truth removes the permissionstructure that everybody uses to
(03:22):
avoid responsibility.
Truth is what shifts whoactually gets to lead.
So the room instinctively pushesback ambitious women and
requires them to shrink orsoften their tone or slow down,
not for her safety, but foreverybody else's comfort.
And that is the exact momentwhen the supposed psychological
(03:46):
safety actually unravels andbecomes psychological unsafety.
Because psychological safety isnot built by protecting the
room.
It is built by allowing thetruth to exist without penalty.
Let me define psychological oremotional safety in a way that
makes sense for women who areactually ambitious and who have
(04:08):
lived both personal andprofessional conditioning.
First of all, you need tounderstand that emotional and
psychological safety are not theabsence of conflict.
They are actually rooted in theabsence of self-betrayal.
It is the ability to bring yourentire self, your speed, your
(04:29):
depth, your clarity, yourpassion, your fire, being able
to bring them into a spacewithout needing to dilute any of
those parts in order to betolerated.
Psychological or emotionalsafety comes from knowing that
your competence is not going tobe punished.
Your ambition is not going to beweaponized against you or
against someone else.
(04:50):
Your directness is not going tobe misread as aggression.
Your boundaries are not going tobe interpreted as being
difficult or having an attitude.
Your standards are not going tobe labeled as, you know, too
much.
And your full intelligence isnot going to require constant
translation.
And when you do have emotionalneeds, they're not going to be
(05:10):
dismissed as you being dramatic.
When your upbringing, when yoursocialization, when your
conditioning taught you toanticipate everyone else's
needs, when your career taughtyou to be twice as competent for
half the recognition, when yourrelationships taught you that
you have to regulate thefeelings of other people, your
system is now wired to scan theroom and adjust before you even
(05:33):
realize you're doing it.
And that is the personal nowbleeding into the professional.
And it's why emotional safety isa completely different
experience for women who carryboth histories.
We've been sold this myth thatsafe spaces are peaceful spaces.
They are quiet, they are kind,they are conflict-free, and
(05:53):
everybody is smiling andeverybody is agreeable.
But women like us learned veryearly on that peaceful rooms are
often the ones where we'reexpected to shoulder the
emotional labor that keepsthings peaceful.
So in your family, that may havelooked like not upsetting
anybody, anticipating needsbefore they were ever spoken, or
being the responsible one, orbeing the one who didn't cause
(06:15):
trouble.
In your career in the workplace,maybe that looked like, you
know, being the team'sstability, being the one that
everybody goes to, being the onewho communicates well because
you smooth over other messes, orbeing the one that people
emotionally rely on orstrategically rely on, being the
one who adjusts when the roomcan't keep up with your ideas,
so you dumb yourself down orquiet yourself out.
(06:36):
This conditioning taught youthat calm doesn't actually mean
safe.
It means contained.
It means controlled.
It means don't bring anythingthat challenges the status quo
or the dynamic of the situation.
So when people talk aboutemotional safety or
psychological safety, like it'ssome pastel room full of soft
voices and perfect harmony, ofcourse it doesn't resonate with
(06:58):
you.
Because harmony that requiresyou to silence is not harmony.
It's erasure, it'sself-abandonment.
So here's the pattern that I'veobserved that ambitious,
high-performing women often livewith, both personally and
professionally.
And I want you to really hearyourself in this.
Okay?
You feel grounded when yourbrain is fully switched on.
(07:22):
Because you were raised to beresponsible before you were ever
allowed to be soft orvulnerable.
You feel secure whencommunication is direct, because
you grew up interpreting tone,interpreting silence and nuance
and emotional shifts, like yourlife depended on it, because
sometimes it did.
(07:42):
You relax when you are trustedwith autonomy.
Micromanagement bugs the shitout of you because you've always
had to fight for the right tomake decisions for yourself.
You settle into yourself whenyou are around people who
understand your pace, becausethe world has repeatedly told
you to slow down for the comfortof the people who don't move
(08:04):
like you.
You feel emotionally safe whennobody expects you to carry the
group emotionally, because youhave learned early that holding
everyone's feelings was part of,you know, being the good girl.
And you feel unsafe the minutesomebody masks their intentions
or avoids accountability orweaponizes niceness, because you
(08:27):
have lived with the consequencesof trusting inconsistency.
Your nervous system respondsbefore your brain ever does.
And it is not because you aretoo sensitive, it is because you
are too fucking experienced.
Because you have decades ofevidence that rooms that want
you quiet are the rooms that areeventually going to punish you
(08:50):
for being honest.
So, what is the reframe?
It is that emotional safety forambitious women is not the
absence of risk.
It is the presence of truth,both internal truth and external
truth.
It is the ability to trust whatyour body is telling you without
(09:10):
gaslighting yourself.
It is the freedom to letyourself be fully present to
take up space the way itnaturally wants to.
It is the knowledge that you'renot going to pay a price for
being honest or being competentor being ambitious or even just
being direct without having tocouch everything you say in
platitudes so people don't feeluncomfortable.
(09:31):
But most importantly, emotionaland psychological safety is the
moment you stop negotiating youridentity for access.
The minute an ambitious womanfeels that level of alignment,
everything changes.
Relationships shift, yourtolerance drops, your boundaries
(09:52):
get sharper, your clarity comesback.
Because you finally understandthe difference between being
included and being safe.
So here's what I want you to askyourself.
Without softening it, withoutgaslighting yourself, without
minimizing it, withoutdefaulting to it, it's not that
bad.
I can handle it.
Because I know you can.
But the point is you shouldn'thave to.
So I want you to ask yourself,where are you acting like you
(10:14):
feel safe when you know youdon't?
Where are you acceptingemotional crumbs because you've
gotten used to surviving onthem?
Where are you playing thereasonable woman because the
room has no idea what to do withyour full intelligence?
Where are you holding yourselfback because the truth is going
to change the relationship?
Where are you carrying emotionallabor that was never yours to
(10:35):
carry in the first place?
Where have you normalizedenvironments that shrink you?
These questions matter becauseambitious women do not lose
themselves all at once.
They lose themselves piece bypiece.
It's in the meetings where youstayed quiet.
It's in the relationship whereyou took on more than your
share.
It's in the role where youstopped asking for what you
(10:56):
needed because you didn't wantto seem difficult or selfish.
It's in that friendship whereyou were always the strong one,
but never the one who wassupported in return.
Those moments accumulate overtime.
And before you know it, you'rerunning a life from a template,
from a blueprint that was neveractually built for you.
(11:19):
And that is why you feel sounfulfilled and so
understimulated, even thoughyour calendar is so busy and
you've accomplished so freakingmuch.
So let's say out loud the needsthat ambitious women
consistently hide because wehave been conditioned to think
that these needs areinconvenient.
Okay?
(11:39):
You need space to think.
Why?
Because you spent years thinkingon behalf of everybody else.
You make decisions for everybodyelse.
You have decision fatigue.
You need space to think.
Quiet time.
Time for yourself.
Baby, you need to rest.
You need to allow yourself theopportunity to not do anything
(12:02):
or be anything and just let yourbrain do what it needs to do.
You need space to think.
You also need honesty becauseyou grew up decoding people who
couldn't communicate directly.
So you need people in your lifewho will speak plainly, who will
be honest when it's important,and allow you to do the same.
(12:23):
You need people who move at yourspeed.
Why?
Because you have spent too longslowing yourself down to avoid
making everyone else around youinsecure.
You need to stop carrying theemotional fallout.
It's time to stop being theemotional backbone you were
raised to be.
And oh my goodness, you needchallenge.
Because stagnation is nodifferent than disappearing,
(12:46):
really.
So you need to find spaces thatactually intellectually
stimulate and challenge you.
But most importantly, you needto be taken seriously because
competence comes naturally toyou.
Unfortunately, respect has neverbeen automatically granted to
you.
And these are not dramaticneeds, these are remedial
(13:07):
repairs for women whose identityand ambition and emotional labor
have been weaponized againstthem for years.
So, how do we take that firststep to remedying all of this?
Choose one thing to do thisweek.
Just one.
And it and it's not to fix yourlife, it's not to be productive,
but it's to stop abandoning thetruth of who you are.
(13:30):
And I'm gonna give you optionslike I always do.
I want you to pick one thing.
And if you're feeling reallyambitious, you can do more than
one thing, but start with one.
So maybe this week make oneboundary really explicit to the
people around you.
Because I know that you grew upkeeping the peace, and it's time
for this to be your first act ofself-respect.
Maybe the thing you do is endone situation where you
(13:52):
overexplain.
And I know that that hastraditionally for you been a
survival strategy.
It's time to retire it becauseyou don't need to survive
anymore.
You need to thrive.
Maybe your one action this weekis declining a request that
actually drains you, thatdoesn't align with you.
And I want you to sit with thediscomfort of having done that,
of having disappointed somebody,because that's where the
unlearning actually happens.
(14:15):
Maybe the move you make thisweek is calling one dynamic what
it really is, putting a label onthe tension and trusting that
when you do that, you're gonnafeel your power start to return
to you.
Or maybe it's giving yourselfone space where your full self
is welcome.
Whether it's a space or oneperson, but somewhere, someone
(14:38):
with whom you can stop editingyourself and let your real voice
come back online.
And I know that's gonna taketime, but I kind of feel like
you probably know where thatspace or that person is.
So it's time to invest in that.
And these are not things to puton your to-do list and check
them off, they're not tasks.
(14:58):
These are like minirecalibrations that are gonna
allow you to step back into yourown identity after years of
conforming yourself andcontorting yourself into shapes
that no human should ever reallybe.
And above all of it, underneathall of it, around all of it, is
the question that really mattersthe most.
(15:20):
And that is what emotional needhave you been ignoring because
you were taught it was too much?
If you do nothing else, I wantyou to put a name on that.
I want you to write it down.
What is the emotional need thatyou've been ignoring?
Because everybody keeps tellingyou it's just too big, it's too
much, it's too needy.
Let that truth exist outside ofyour brain.
(15:42):
Because you, your power, yourleadership, none of those things
can keep growing on top of theparts of yourself that you keep
silencing.
Because no matter what you do,no matter how many investments
you make, no matter how muchwork you put into something,
your next level is not gonnacome from being agreeable.
It is gonna come from being yourwhole ass self.
(16:05):
So let me know which one you'regonna pick and come hit me up on
social media because you knowthat's where the work continues.
I see you, I hear you, you areloved, you are safe, and you can
have success without the BS.
But it comes from feeling safein yourself first.
I'll talk to you next week.
(16:29):
Thanks for listening.
Hey, do us a favor subscribe tothe show, rate your favorite
episode, or share it with yourfriends.
And remember, your blasphemy isnecessary.
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