56. Date Nights After Dark: Finding Intimacy After Bedtime

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Today we’re diving into something that doesn’t get talked about enough—keeping the spark alive when you're knee-deep in snack crumbs, sticky fingers, and endless bedtime routines.

Let’s be real—date night doesn’t exactly look like perfume and heels anymore. It looks a lot more like microwaved popcorn, pajama pants, and praying you stay awake past the first 15 minutes of a Netflix scroll. But guess what? The spark isn’t gone—it’s just napping under a pile of burp cloths and goldfish crumbs. ✨

In this episode, Date Nights After Dark, I’m sharing real-talk moments about intimacy in parenthood—from folding-laundry races (yep, that happened) to wine-fueled Netflix nights that somehow turn into watching cooking shows about food we never actually make. (Relatable, right?)

But most importantly, I’m giving you simple, doable ways to reconnect with your partner—even when you’re touched out, exhausted, and running on caffeine and chaos.

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👯‍♀️ Share it with a fellow parent who could use a reminder that romance isn't dead—it just looks a little different now.

Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.

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The views and opinions expressed by guests on Caffeinated Chaos are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views, beliefs, or positions of Whitney Aguon or Aguon Studios LLC. The content shared by guests is for informational and entertainment purposes only. We encourage listeners to do their own research and form their own...

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos,where business deals happen
between diaper changes andfriendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney GaN, your host, andI'm here to talk all things
business parenthood, and ofcourse keeping up with the BFFs,
whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fuel chaos.
We've got you covered.
Get ready for real talk, laughsand a whole lot of heart as we

(00:24):
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Ated, of course.
Do you remember when date nightmeant perfume, heels, and maybe
a last minute wax or shave?
Yeah.

(00:44):
Now it's starting to look morelike, do we have enough time or
energy to microwave popcorn andnot fall asleep during the first
15 minutes of a movie?
Hmm.
Welcome back to Caffe Chaos, thepodcast where we talk about the
messy, beautiful overlap ofbusiness, babies, and being a
whole human.
Today we are diving into alittle post bedtime magic with

(01:09):
an episode I'm calling.
Date nights after dark.
Okay?
Hmm.
Finding intimacy after bedtime.
So this is for you if you'retired, sweaty, touched out, and
maybe feeling more like a snackfetching assistant than a
romantic partner these days,friend, I get it, but I know

(01:29):
that the spark is not gone andit's not gone for you either.
It just happens to be nappingunder a pile of burp cloths and
goldfish crumbs.
Let's start by setting thestage.
The kids are finally asleepafter the longest bedtime
routine known to man.
Bath lotion, 17 stories, foursips of water and you're Allah

(01:51):
stuffy animal search mission anda dramatic, but I'm not tired.
You collapse on the couch, yourpartner looks over and there's a
moment, but also you're both alittle crusty.
You smell faintly of sunscreenand bug spray.
You've been climbed on all dayand someone is definitely still

(02:14):
sticky.
That's summer Love with kids.
It's not glamorous, but it'sreal.
And under all that sweat andsnack, dust is a couple that
still deserves connection,romance, and intimacy.
Yes.
Even when you're touched out andhalf asleep.
I totally get it.
So let me paint you a very realquote, date night scenes that

(02:39):
we've experienced here.
One night we got halfway througha movie.
We both fell asleep with theremote, still in my husband's
hand, very romantic, right?
Another time we poured wine,scrolled through Netflix or
Hulu, whatever it was lookingfor a movie, but finally ending
up watching like a food cookingshow and being like, Ooh, that

(03:04):
sounds good.
My husband saying like, I'llmake that for dinner one night.
Did it ever happen?
No.
We just like lived for that foodthrough the tv.
Yeah.
And one day don't judge, we hada folding laundry race.

(03:25):
Okay.
I know It turned into somethingthat was banter and well, hey,
laundry got done faster.
I'll take that as a win.
The truth is the version ofintimacy that worked before kids
might not fall into your lifenow with kids.
And that's okay because the goodnews is that you can redefine

(03:48):
how you love each other.
Okay, so I'm going to share sometips that.
They're pretty simple tips.
I'm not a relationship guru.
These are just things that haveworked for me, and so maybe
they'll work for you.
Okay, one, pick a bedtime datenight each week.

(04:12):
Doesn't need to be fancy, itjust needs to be intentional.
Even if it's just 30 minutesafter the kids are down.
What are you guys gonna do?
We like to drink wine togetherand talk about our days bonus
points to my husband'cause healso gives me a foot rub during
that time to change the setting,go outside, light a candle, have

(04:35):
a living room, floor picnic.
Sometimes changing theenvironment that you're in helps
change your mindset.
Three touch that isn'tparenting.
Hugs, shoulder rubs sittingclose when you've been climbed
on all day.
A gentle, intentional touch fromyour partner can feel grounding

(04:56):
instead of draining.
One thing I like to do is whenwe are so busy doing everything
else, or maybe he's like runningout the door or he's doing
something.
I reach out and I just like givehis arm a little squeeze.
Not like, not like pinching himobviously, but like just a, Hey,
I see you, I'm here.

(05:20):
Especially like if he is likewashing dishes, you know, I'll
come up behind him and I'll justgive him a little, a little
grab.
For Laugh Together.
Watch something dumb.
Laugh together.
Watch a comedy show.
It can be on streaming.
Don't worry.
Share the day's Wild Parentingmoment.

(05:41):
Laughter is intimacy, it'sconnection, and honestly,
sometimes it works better thanmedicine, in my opinion.
Five.
Talk about something other thanthe kids.
Remember who you were before thesnacks, before all of the
practices you're running to andfrom.
Ask each other random questions.

(06:02):
Dream, flirt.
Be curious again.
If intimacy feels outta reachright now, it's okay.
Postpartum hormones, summerchaos.
Long work days and mentalexhaustion are real, but
connection can start small, Ashared glance, a deep breath, a

(06:23):
spark of humor.
You don't need a full night outor a steamy getaway to keep your
relationship strong.
And sometimes the mostmeaningful, intimate moments
happen in the quiet span of 20minutes after bedtime, when you
choose each other every dayagain and again.
So tonight after the kids arefinally down, maybe don't turn

(06:47):
on the TV right away.
Maybe just sit close, holdhands, just be in the quiet
together.
Because you're still partners,still lovers, and still
teammates, and even in theseason of Sticky Fingers,
sleepless Nights and SummerChaos, you can still find magic

(07:08):
after Dark.
Until next time, keep the coffeeStrong, the love reel, and the
date nights creative.
Thanks for joining me and have awonderful time after bedtime
tonight.
Bye now.
That's a wrap on another episodeof Caffeinated Chaos.

(07:30):
I hope you're leaving with alittle more clarity, a lot more
inspiration, and maybe even anextra shot of motivation.
If you love today's episode,don't forget to follow us.
Leave a review and share it witha friend who could use just a
little chaos and caffeine intheir life.
Until next time, keep embracingthe mess.
Chase your dreams and make magichappen.

(07:53):
One caffeinated, chaotic momentat a time.
I will see you all soon.
Bye now.