January 31, 2025 • 34 mins
In this reflective episode, we take a step back to discuss the unexpected silver linings of the COVID-19 lockdown. While we certainly don’t miss the pandemic itself, there’s something to be said for the pause it created in our fast-paced lives. From rediscovering family time to finding new hobbies, we explore how the pandemic reshaped our approach to life’s priorities.
We dive into the struggles we faced during the pandemic—sickness, isolation, and uncertainty—while also acknowledging the unexpected blessings that came with slowing down. Whether it was building an arcade machine from childhood memories or reconnecting with loved ones through simple activities, we share how the lockdown gave us space to reflect, reset, and focus on what really matters.
As life ramps up again, we discuss the lessons in balance and how we can carry those insights forward into our current routines. Join us as we reflect on the value of mindfulness, gratitude, and meaningful connections—things we may have taken for granted before.
Listen now for a heartfelt conversation on how to integrate those pandemic lessons into your busy life today.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey everyone, I'm Matt.
(00:01):
I'm Deanna.
And this is Chasing Balance.
And in this episode, we're going to talk about why I miss the COVID lockdown.
(00:35):
OK, now let's be clear about this.
I don't miss COVID itself.
No.
I'm looking at the silver linings that happened because of the lockdown.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah.
And one of those silver linings is that life seemed to slow down for us.
(00:57):
It did.
And we were able to find the balance during this worldwide pandemic.
Now, we're not trying to eliminate any of the hardships that everyone went through.
We went through some hardships as well during that time.
(01:22):
I guess breaking it down from the start of it is we actually left here
to go to Florida for our annual spring break.
Went to Florida.
And when we got there, it seemed like that COVID was actually picking up in Michigan
while we were in Florida.
(01:43):
And then while we were in Florida, like it was following us, we couldn't avoid it.
So. And at that time, I had a great job.
Yeah.
We were in the hotel room picking out backsplash for our brand new house that was being built.
We had already, wait, a few weeks prior, we found out that we were pregnant with our third.
(02:07):
Yep. We had a new baby coming.
Yep. So it was all the good stuff.
Yep. So we're living it up in Florida on vacation.
Yeah. Picking out backsplash for our brand new home.
That's going to have enough room for our brand new baby.
Yeah.
And we both have great jobs.
Yeah.
Well.
(02:29):
Life happened.
We got back here.
And first couple of days back at work, I was laid off.
Yes.
So there's one thing that happened.
So right when I got back, I got laid off.
And not for any other reason aside from the fact that it was staffing.
(02:52):
Staffing. Poor planning.
And poor planning and staffing and nothing that you did wrong.
And I think that was the part that kind of drove the stake in a little harder with you.
It's always been something because my manager at the time was like, he knew it was coming,
but he didn't want to tell me.
So he was like, I want to buy you guys dinner while you guys are out there.
(03:16):
Right. I remember that.
Yeah. And I was like, that's so weird.
And then I get, I don't know. So then we get back.
I get fired.
And that's kind of that's kind of messed me up in the head because it's like every time
that someone wants to do something nice for me now, I kind of standoffish.
(03:37):
Like, no, I don't want you to do that.
I don't want your handouts.
I don't want because I don't know what the hell is going to happen.
So. So that happened.
Then obviously, COVID, you know, rolled out for the lockdown.
And while we're in the lockdown, we're supposed to be closing on our house.
(03:57):
Yeah.
Which we moved out here to this location for our kids school.
Because we were. And what closed next?
Yeah. The schools. The schools closed down.
Perfect. And then we couldn't find we weren't sure if our delivery company was going to
show up and deliver or move us from our old house to our new house.
(04:20):
Yeah. And we weren't sure if our appliances were going to be delivered because everything
was just so up in the air. So all that.
But when you break it down, it sounds like really petty things to be worried about considering
so much that was going on with the rest of the world.
But that was like our that was our issues at that point in time.
(04:43):
It was just. Yes. And like I said, I'm not trying to belittle anything about, you know,
what other people went through as far as sickness goes.
But it just and it just kept the hits kept on coming after that point.
Yeah. So then also our both of our dogs died.
Yeah. 2020. Yeah.
(05:04):
That was rough. Our baby was born healthy.
Yes. The hospital was a little bit different, obviously.
Yeah. We had to I had to wear a mask given labor.
And then there were some other rules in regards to.
Yeah. Couldn't have family and you couldn't leave.
I wasn't supposed to leave and get food. Yeah.
So we had to it was it was just different and wasn't terrible, but it wasn't ideal.
(05:31):
So then I said you never lost your job, which was great.
Yeah, I was mandatory. Yeah.
So and then I tried a couple different gigs.
Held on to a job. And then the new year comes and we're thinking.
Twenty twenty one is going to be our year.
(05:53):
What happened in twenty twenty one right in the beginning of my dad passed away.
Yeah. And then it just kind of.
So then at that point in time, I had a newborn that I had to,
you know, feed for and care for.
And then, you know, in those first three months,
you kind of your body goes through like this postpartum phase and your hormones are all crazy.
(06:18):
And then my dad was a huge part of the person that I am.
And losing him was kind of like a.
It just it took me down.
So and on top of that, he wasn't local at that point in time.
He was out in Arizona.
(06:38):
So I had to fly with my siblings out and then do all that stuff and then leave the four of you now at home
for a week until we sorted it out, because that whole that was a nightmare in itself in terms of
what they had to do in order to do all this stuff.
(07:04):
So getting too nitty gritty.
So all that happened. And obviously, we are not, you know, the people that probably got the worst of it whatsoever.
But, you know, our dominoes, they kept falling, you know, our strong foundation, our wall just felt like it was just breaking down.
Like, you know, you make a plan for the future.
(07:27):
You know, we budgeted for the house, how our kid was going to be born, like we had all this stuff in our mind.
Obviously, it doesn't go to plan.
So I'm not diminishing the seriousness of it, but I think it is also important to reflect without diminishing other people's,
(07:48):
you know, struggles, because I have some very fond memories of being laid off.
Yes, you know, I mean, obviously, the depression sits in there for a little bit, but that gave me the time to.
It gave us the time to reset kind of like our fast paced life.
(08:09):
Yeah. Put things into perspective, weigh what was important and what's not really important.
What we had like perception of as what could have been important.
And if I wouldn't have got laid off.
You know, I wouldn't have been home with you guys and while you were pregnant and you would have been the one that would more than likely have to go out and go grocery shopping and be exposed to everybody else.
(08:36):
Right. Well, no, because they didn't do a lot of deliveries back then.
That didn't start until after covid.
I can't imagine going into the grocery.
I can't imagine myself being in the grocery store.
With two children and being pregnant, we would have starved.
So I was the one that ended up since I was home, I was the one that ended up, you know, doing most of the cleaning.
(09:00):
I tried to keep the house clean.
Then I also did the grocery shopping.
I went out and did grocery shopping.
Deanna put together the game plan for school and education for the kids,
because they were homeschooling now.
And I don't even think there was a plan in place.
I don't think they had like teacher like they didn't have because nobody had laptops, not everybody at the school laptops.
(09:22):
So there was not a teaching plan set in place yet.
Yeah, so I mean, we can dive into that a little bit.
My degree actually ended up paying out.
So kind of to take a step back, like I had mentioned before in our previous episode,
(09:45):
you know, schooling was a bit of an issue for me in the beginning.
And I also want to set the record straight.
My GPA when I transferred into my new high school was a one point nine five, not a point nine five.
I just I feel in my heart that I needed to just kind of there was a one before there.
So there was OK. If you did listen to our previous episode, all right.
(10:09):
So what she's talking about? Yes.
So when I was in high school, I was diagnosed with dyslexia, dyscalculia and also ADHD.
So schooling in itself was was a big hurdle for me to kind of overcome.
And on top of that, I was introduced to art in general because of my private prior school district.
(10:32):
Art wasn't an option.
We didn't have like art in the cart and we didn't have like an elementary school.
We just didn't have our student teaching. No. Oh, and you're right.
Yeah. So when I went to the new high school, art was like brand new to me.
And it was that one section that was kind of like my safe home because it wasn't anything that I had to work on.
(10:53):
Right. It was what it was.
And it was my interpretation.
So I found a really close connection to that, which led me to go into art education in college.
So I ended up getting my degree.
I did my student teaching, got to the tail end and decided I didn't want to teach.
(11:18):
And then you had to.
And then when the pandemic happens and it closed down, the schools kind of were fumbling through.
They didn't they didn't have an exact plan set in place.
It was a whole semester until they actually rolled out a plan.
So you put a plan together for them.
Yeah, I just went to the state, you know, I pulled the standards and the benchmarks and made sure that everything that I did
(11:45):
aligned with what they were supposed to learn within the grade levels that they were in.
And I did my version of it, making sure I hit those things so that they didn't academically fall behind.
But then I also made it so that it aligned with the schedule that they had at school.
So I incorporated Jim and you with Joe P.E. with Joe.
(12:10):
We found cosmic yoga, which was awesome.
It was cool.
And then our school in particular does like popcorn on Fridays and popcorn in movies.
Yeah, we did popcorn every Friday and then we did like a reward system.
We we got like a bunch of like little toys at the end of the week that they got to pull from.
(12:32):
See, I even forget that once they, you know, as long as they finished strong and they did what they were supposed to do.
And what else did we do? I don't know.
They both brought brought out musical instruments.
So Brayden started playing keyboard and Preston started playing guitar.
Yeah, because all sports got closed down.
So then we were like, you know, this is a great chance to learn a new instrument.
(12:54):
Yeah. So, I mean, it went to I mean, we're looking at the positives now.
It went from me being home more, us being together more, me not driving an hour to work.
Yeah. Not driving an hour back from work.
Eating dinner with with you or at a reasonable time.
Even lunch and breakfast and dinner with each other at the same time.
(13:14):
Teaching, being able to be around the kids to see how they learn, being able to clean the house,
keep it clean during this covid time, being able to go out and shop so my pregnant wife doesn't have to go to the store.
Yeah, that was very kind.
And being able to teach the kids a new instrument.
Yeah. Which they completely already forgot how to do, but it was still fun.
(13:35):
Brayden still knows how to play the piano.
Yeah. And Preston.
I don't know. He he doesn't know how to play guitar anymore.
Let's be honest. So.
Yeah, it kind of gave us more one on one time and probably set you and I up for success for.
I guess our schedule now being like with each other 100 percent of the time.
(13:59):
So I feel like covid with me being home all the time and what not kind of set us up for where.
We are now with us being both fully remote. Yes.
So we can actually play nicely and get along with each other.
Yes. Even though you still bring stinky lunch into the office.
Hey, I don't anymore.
(14:22):
Oh, salmon days. I love those.
It was very healthy, full of protein. Don't knock my salmon.
All right. So just respect your coworker, your office coworker, you know.
Or you could try it. You have not tried it.
No, I smelt it. That's enough.
So. Reflecting on the homeschooling.
(14:45):
You know, I think there were some really positive things there, things that make me smile when I think about it.
Yeah, especially the.
The P.E. with Joe makes me happy.
The learning the new instruments make me happy.
And then I honestly forgot about the award, the rewards thing that we did.
I'm like a little Dollar Tree toys or.
(15:07):
Yeah, I think we got some hot wheels, ninjas or something, something that they were super into at that point in time.
Yeah. So.
Not just homeschooling. Was one of the things and obviously time for itself, but I was able to.
Since I had so much time on my hands, like start tinkering around with stuff when I end up,
(15:33):
I had this old arcade one up machine and that's when I rebuilt that whole entire thing and made an emulator out of it and get all the ROM files and all that stuff.
And I rewired the whole thing. So forget about that. Yeah.
Kind of rekindled the hobby during that time as well.
I don't know if we did too many things outdoors, then.
(15:54):
We went more towards the farm. We spent a lot of time at the farm with the horses and stuff.
And then we were able to go to up north. Yeah.
We spent a lot of time up north. Which is very drastic and a change because down here it was like almost everybody was wearing a mask.
And then we went up north about three and a half hours away.
(16:15):
Everything was all kind of loose and not everybody was wearing masks.
Yeah. And it's a lot more spaced out up there.
So there wasn't I don't think that there was that much of a threat, especially when you were in your home.
Our neighborhood that we live in isn't like super congested.
There is like a lot of land. But up north, it's, you know, woodsy.
(16:36):
Yeah. But I'm talking about like when we went out to eat and stuff.
I don't think people were even wearing masks. I don't think we went out to eat, did we?
I thought so. I blocked out some of the stuff.
I thought I thought we did. But yeah, I mean, it even when we went to the grocery store,
you didn't, but I did. But there was still there was a lot of people not wearing masks.
And you know what the funny thing about the grocery store was is because when COVID first happened, everyone was so afraid of kids.
(17:04):
Remember? Yeah. So I would bring, you know, to give Deanna a break and also get the kids out of the house.
I would bring one of our kids with us. We only had two at the time because the third was on the way.
And I would bring one of them or both of them with me.
And you should see the looks that I got from people when I was walking down the aisle with them.
Was it magical? Like you didn't have to talk to anybody. It was like your dream come true.
(17:30):
I mean, they looked like them like they were the devil. Like to stay away from me.
That's terrible. And I forgot about that. How the grocery stores were one way aisles.
Do you remember that? I remember you telling me that.
And I would curse under my breath when someone was going the wrong way. You fucking idiot.
What are you doing? You can't follow an arrow on the floor and on the side.
(17:51):
So I would get so pissed off at that. So then obviously it came out that it wasn't kids that started this whole COVID thing or it wasn't them.
It was just, you know, what a crazy time. But what's crazy about it is that I don't.
I don't hate it that much. Like, obviously getting laid off was the biggest thing.
(18:12):
Yeah. And then not knowing what was going to happen with the house, because I don't know if everybody out there knows it.
But if if if my employer told. Our title agency and our mortgage person that we were that I got laid off, that's 50 percent of our income.
Right. Yeah. So that could jeopardize it. Yeah.
(18:33):
And then at that point in time, we had already sold our existing house. Yeah.
So, I mean, we could have been screwed. We could have.
Yeah. And then, you know, you just think back on it like, oh, God, we're so stupid.
Why do we add that back splash on there? You know, I love that.
I know. Why did I take that lunch?
Why did I take that free dinner from my manager? So you know, a guilt trip.
(18:55):
So one of my highlights during that was my siblings and I am on my mom's side would do like weekly Skype calls.
Oh, right. And it would just be like the entire family. And I mean, on my mom's side, we have there's a lot of kids and they have a lot of kids.
(19:16):
And I saw them more during the lockdown than I have in the last.
Yeah, I've I saw more virtually than I have in person over the last five years.
And it was it was really nice seeing them.
Yeah, it was weird. It was a very weird time, but it also felt I'm a very I'm an introvert, right?
(19:42):
You're more of an extrovert. So it felt really good to me.
So just to be able to like, oh, we can't go out.
Oh, dang it. Man, I was looking forward to that.
I really wanted to go to the bar tonight. Yeah.
Yeah. I really wanted to hang out with all the kids. Right.
Every single one of them. And I mean, it really showed us a lot of our kids personality during that, too, like education wise.
(20:08):
Like Preston, our oldest, he hated the way that I was teaching.
He hated the way that I put things together.
He could not wait to get back to the classroom with his friends and learn in that environment.
Brayden thrived. He was like, you mean to tell me I don't have to see anybody or talk to anybody.
(20:32):
This is amazing. It wasn't until he you remember this, he drew a face on a basketball and started carrying it around.
It was up north. Yeah, it was. He's like, this is my buddy.
Yeah, he called his buddy.
And then I thought, yeah, I feel like we need we need more people around us.
(20:55):
I think he was just being a kid with imagination.
He was he wasn't like cast away with Tom Hanks and Wilson.
Yeah, I do remember thinking this is really cute.
But then also thinking maybe we need to get back into society.
No, I'm good in the woods. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.
(21:15):
Come deliver my groceries and leave me alone.
But he is he is very much like you. He can walk into a room, look around and be like, no, yeah, none of this.
No, thank you. I didn't have to do that during COVID.
You didn't. Well, if I did, I'd be screwed because the people in the room were you guys.
So so, yeah, once again, the highlights of staying in, obviously, we're laughing about it.
(21:43):
We can think back and kind of laugh about the stuff that happened.
You know, we were fortunate enough to have our finances in order.
Thanks to Deanna for being smart with money to where I could be laid off, because let me tell you, the state of Michigan was no help.
No, they really weren't employment and stuff like that.
(22:05):
So you had to really hound them. I did.
Yeah, every single week for like months.
You called them every week. They had to back pay me like 10 or 15 weeks.
Yeah, it was insane. And to think like, oh, and there's no there's no operator to pick up your call.
Right. It was all emails. Oh, my gosh.
So that was a sad part of it was because I had to help my dad figure out how to do that.
(22:28):
Yeah, help my dad figure out how to file for unemployment while his son.
He's filing for unemployment, so because you guys would talk to each other every week like, oh, no, he came over.
Remember, and I file on the computer. Yeah. Did you get paid? No, I didn't get paid.
He definitely got paid before I did. He did. So maybe they went down the line in terms of age.
(22:51):
Who needed it? Yeah. Single single man.
So it kind of like the lessons that we learned about our ourselves are really the priorities.
Right. So we didn't need to. I mean, at the end of the day.
Even though I honestly, you know, to this day, I still really enjoyed working for that manager.
(23:15):
That company, he did give me severance for.
Two weeks, three weeks or something like that afterwards, I can't remember what it was, but after he laid me off.
So that was very nice of him. But you learn about the priorities that.
Family is first. Your dogs are first. Kids are first. Don't know how long your parents are going to be around for.
(23:40):
Don't know how long your dogs that have been with you for 14, 15 years are going to be along for.
And your boss can easily say, fuck you. So it really puts things in a perspective.
And I was at that job for five years and I worked every single weekend. Yeah, you did.
I mean, obviously not every single weekend, but I mean, 90 percent of the weekends I worked.
Yeah, you worked at least one day out of the weekend. Yeah, at least if not both, at least one.
(24:05):
And, you know, I put that family time. On the back burner because I got a job job that I stayed loyal to for five years.
Never really asked for a raise and. It was a fuck you.
Because the owner didn't get his priorities straight. Yeah, so.
(24:27):
You know, you learn more things going back to the positive stuff and so the negative stuff, you learn more things that family is more important.
Health is more important. Who you're with, who you still have in your life is more important.
Staying connected is more important than that nine to five grind, eight to five grind, ten to six, whatever it was, weekend work.
(24:48):
So, yeah, that kind of enlightened it there and how simplifying our life kind of created.
An easier life, I feel like we.
Especially me, I feel like if I don't want to do anything right now, if I don't want to do something, I feel like we're more inept to be like, no, I don't want to do it.
(25:10):
Whereas before I feel like we felt we felt like. All right, they asked me to come. I have to do this. The kid has this at school.
We have to go where when COVID was locked down, we could choose.
Yeah, honestly, with our lives, what we wanted to do. Yeah.
And now I think it's rolled over to us being like, no, I don't want to do that.
(25:32):
I'd rather stay home. I'd rather do this. I'd rather enjoy my life than do something I don't want to be a part of.
Yeah. It has to be really important for me to invest my time.
And that's I think that's what I kind of learned the most was how important and valuable time was and how you were going to put your energy into it.
(25:55):
So that's what I kind of focused in on.
And what I kind of took away from it was how I don't necessarily have to be the people person pleaser that I was.
And if I don't want to do it, I don't have to do it. Yeah.
And then we're not kids anymore. Right. You can't.
(26:18):
So sound like a kid. You can't make me. Exactly.
No, no, no, no, no. You can't make me. You know, but yeah, I feel like we're so.
But it also I feel like it also helped us put together since we were together all the time, the four of us at that time set those expectations and not really expectations,
(26:42):
but set those standards for our kids to understand like how it's important to invest your yourself and into what you want to do.
Yeah. And that kind of carried forward and having them understand, you know,
what we do on a daily basis and how we're spending our energy and what we've done for each other.
(27:09):
It's kind of put the whole like work, chores, shopping because they had to see practice, you know, games and putting together the schedule.
It's just, you know, kind of like this is how our family works. This is what's important to our family.
And and we all play a role. Essentially. Yeah.
(27:32):
So how do we maintain that balance from Covid?
Or do we have any tips for listeners that we can portray to them on how you maintain that balance?
So on my end, I've kind of been more inclined to put myself forward.
(28:00):
Yeah. And I've really priority mentally prioritize myself.
And, you know, what's important to me, like working out or reading a book,
reading a book. Yeah. But then also not investing time into people that I don't care about.
(28:21):
Yeah. Especially like kids, parents that I don't align with.
And that's kind of how I've never been more attractive.
That's how I kind of like make the balance. Like if I if I hit it off with like a mom or something from like a football or soccer or something,
I'm like. I dig your energy. Right. I feel like we could be friends, you know.
(28:46):
What you have recently. Yeah, I have. But yeah, there were some situations, some parent friends that
are friends, parents of our kids where we had to.
We almost felt like we were like tied to them. We had to, you know, hang out with them, entertain them,
do the friendly thing, inviting them over, hanging out, whatever it is.
(29:09):
And as as big of an asshole as I sound, not everyone is for everyone.
Not everyone fits your mold. Yeah.
So that's kind of what I've carried forward, unless it's making my heart happy.
I'm not putting my energy into it. Yeah.
And that's what I would kind of just throw out to everybody is just kind of like finding that balance
(29:31):
and what makes you personally happy, what makes your family as a whole happy and put your energies towards that
and like not waste it on things that don't necessarily I don't want to say like benefit you, but doesn't make you feel good.
Now, in the last podcast, we talked about pushing your kids into something, pushing them too hard.
(29:55):
This covid lockdown pushed us.
Into something that we probably, you know, someone said, hey, I need you to go do this.
Right. Yeah, we didn't want to do it.
We didn't want to be locked down at the beginning, right.
But it reshaped us being pushed into a hard situation.
Yeah, reshaped us on how we think of our our lives, our free time, our time off, our time at home.
(30:24):
So, yeah, we were pushed into a hard situation that I don't think any sane person would be like, yeah, let's do that.
Yeah, I'll I'll take a layoff.
Yeah, I'll be locked and confined in a house. Yeah.
Two small children. Yeah, I'll take my my dog's death.
You know, but it did mold us into.
(30:49):
Hopefully stronger people for the future.
Yeah, it definitely did.
I feel like another positive that.
I kind of took away from it was, I mean, because through the whole process,
while teaching the boys and being pregnant and everything, obviously, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows.
(31:12):
There was a lot of really hard times where I just wanted to.
Not be here.
So when when that kind of crept up, it was kind of like, how do I how do I fix this?
You know, and then that's when I started to write down all the funny stuff that they say and they do.
(31:35):
And then I would kind of like when I would get into a.
You know, a Debbie Downer type of mood, I would I would read through it and remind myself that I do love these children.
That's funny, because actually, one of the things that I have in here is that, you know, to reflect.
(31:56):
Yeah, for the listeners to reflect.
And how we can do it going forward is to start small habits to bring back, you know, kind of calmness.
And one would be journaling to kind of balance, you know, balance out yourself, balance out your thoughts.
And like you said, go back to it. Yeah.
And you've had a rough day. Yeah.
(32:16):
And I still do that to the debt to this day.
All the funny or crazy or like very specific to their character, things that they do, I just write it down.
And I mean, it's a huge journal that now I can reflect on.
And and, you know, if it doesn't turn out to be anything, at least it's like a timeline of for them to look at.
(32:40):
Yeah. One day if they want to or throw away, whatever.
Was there anything else that we didn't include that you want to talk about about the lockdown?
I think that was it. OK.
So, well, none of us wanted to relive the hardships of covid.
It's worth remembering the moment that helped us reconnect with what really matters once again with family, friends,
(33:05):
ourselves, you know, husband, wives, relationships.
So, you know, I encourage you if there is any suggestions or any stories of of how covid went with you,
is there any silver linings that you had that you would like to share with us?
(33:25):
We greatly appreciate you listening.
Please feel free to subscribe.
Follow us on social media.
And we greatly appreciate it once again, if you've made it this far into this podcast, listening to us.
And once again, I'm Matt, I'm Deanna, and this is Chasing Balance.
Real life parenting, one conversation at a time.
(33:46):
We'll see you later.
Right.
(34:17):
you
Hey everyone, I'm Matt.
(00:01):
I'm Deanna.
And this is Chasing Balance.
And in this episode, we're going to talk about why I miss the COVID lockdown.
(00:35):
OK, now let's be clear about this.
I don't miss COVID itself.
No.
I'm looking at the silver linings that happened because of the lockdown.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah.
And one of those silver linings is that life seemed to slow down for us.
(00:57):
It did.
And we were able to find the balance during this worldwide pandemic.
Now, we're not trying to eliminate any of the hardships that everyone went through.
We went through some hardships as well during that time.
(01:22):
I guess breaking it down from the start of it is we actually left here
to go to Florida for our annual spring break.
Went to Florida.
And when we got there, it seemed like that COVID was actually picking up in Michigan
while we were in Florida.
(01:43):
And then while we were in Florida, like it was following us, we couldn't avoid it.
So. And at that time, I had a great job.
Yeah.
We were in the hotel room picking out backsplash for our brand new house that was being built.
We had already, wait, a few weeks prior, we found out that we were pregnant with our third.
(02:07):
Yep. We had a new baby coming.
Yep. So it was all the good stuff.
Yep. So we're living it up in Florida on vacation.
Yeah. Picking out backsplash for our brand new home.
That's going to have enough room for our brand new baby.
Yeah.
And we both have great jobs.
Yeah.
Well.
(02:29):
Life happened.
We got back here.
And first couple of days back at work, I was laid off.
Yes.
So there's one thing that happened.
So right when I got back, I got laid off.
And not for any other reason aside from the fact that it was staffing.
(02:52):
Staffing. Poor planning.
And poor planning and staffing and nothing that you did wrong.
And I think that was the part that kind of drove the stake in a little harder with you.
It's always been something because my manager at the time was like, he knew it was coming,
but he didn't want to tell me.
So he was like, I want to buy you guys dinner while you guys are out there.
(03:16):
Right. I remember that.
Yeah. And I was like, that's so weird.
And then I get, I don't know. So then we get back.
I get fired.
And that's kind of that's kind of messed me up in the head because it's like every time
that someone wants to do something nice for me now, I kind of standoffish.
(03:37):
Like, no, I don't want you to do that.
I don't want your handouts.
I don't want because I don't know what the hell is going to happen.
So. So that happened.
Then obviously, COVID, you know, rolled out for the lockdown.
And while we're in the lockdown, we're supposed to be closing on our house.
(03:57):
Yeah.
Which we moved out here to this location for our kids school.
Because we were. And what closed next?
Yeah. The schools. The schools closed down.
Perfect. And then we couldn't find we weren't sure if our delivery company was going to
show up and deliver or move us from our old house to our new house.
(04:20):
Yeah. And we weren't sure if our appliances were going to be delivered because everything
was just so up in the air. So all that.
But when you break it down, it sounds like really petty things to be worried about considering
so much that was going on with the rest of the world.
But that was like our that was our issues at that point in time.
(04:43):
It was just. Yes. And like I said, I'm not trying to belittle anything about, you know,
what other people went through as far as sickness goes.
But it just and it just kept the hits kept on coming after that point.
Yeah. So then also our both of our dogs died.
Yeah. 2020. Yeah.
(05:04):
That was rough. Our baby was born healthy.
Yes. The hospital was a little bit different, obviously.
Yeah. We had to I had to wear a mask given labor.
And then there were some other rules in regards to.
Yeah. Couldn't have family and you couldn't leave.
I wasn't supposed to leave and get food. Yeah.
So we had to it was it was just different and wasn't terrible, but it wasn't ideal.
(05:31):
So then I said you never lost your job, which was great.
Yeah, I was mandatory. Yeah.
So and then I tried a couple different gigs.
Held on to a job. And then the new year comes and we're thinking.
Twenty twenty one is going to be our year.
(05:53):
What happened in twenty twenty one right in the beginning of my dad passed away.
Yeah. And then it just kind of.
So then at that point in time, I had a newborn that I had to,
you know, feed for and care for.
And then, you know, in those first three months,
you kind of your body goes through like this postpartum phase and your hormones are all crazy.
(06:18):
And then my dad was a huge part of the person that I am.
And losing him was kind of like a.
It just it took me down.
So and on top of that, he wasn't local at that point in time.
He was out in Arizona.
(06:38):
So I had to fly with my siblings out and then do all that stuff and then leave the four of you now at home
for a week until we sorted it out, because that whole that was a nightmare in itself in terms of
what they had to do in order to do all this stuff.
(07:04):
So getting too nitty gritty.
So all that happened. And obviously, we are not, you know, the people that probably got the worst of it whatsoever.
But, you know, our dominoes, they kept falling, you know, our strong foundation, our wall just felt like it was just breaking down.
Like, you know, you make a plan for the future.
(07:27):
You know, we budgeted for the house, how our kid was going to be born, like we had all this stuff in our mind.
Obviously, it doesn't go to plan.
So I'm not diminishing the seriousness of it, but I think it is also important to reflect without diminishing other people's,
(07:48):
you know, struggles, because I have some very fond memories of being laid off.
Yes, you know, I mean, obviously, the depression sits in there for a little bit, but that gave me the time to.
It gave us the time to reset kind of like our fast paced life.
(08:09):
Yeah. Put things into perspective, weigh what was important and what's not really important.
What we had like perception of as what could have been important.
And if I wouldn't have got laid off.
You know, I wouldn't have been home with you guys and while you were pregnant and you would have been the one that would more than likely have to go out and go grocery shopping and be exposed to everybody else.
(08:36):
Right. Well, no, because they didn't do a lot of deliveries back then.
That didn't start until after covid.
I can't imagine going into the grocery.
I can't imagine myself being in the grocery store.
With two children and being pregnant, we would have starved.
So I was the one that ended up since I was home, I was the one that ended up, you know, doing most of the cleaning.
(09:00):
I tried to keep the house clean.
Then I also did the grocery shopping.
I went out and did grocery shopping.
Deanna put together the game plan for school and education for the kids,
because they were homeschooling now.
And I don't even think there was a plan in place.
I don't think they had like teacher like they didn't have because nobody had laptops, not everybody at the school laptops.
(09:22):
So there was not a teaching plan set in place yet.
Yeah, so I mean, we can dive into that a little bit.
My degree actually ended up paying out.
So kind of to take a step back, like I had mentioned before in our previous episode,
(09:45):
you know, schooling was a bit of an issue for me in the beginning.
And I also want to set the record straight.
My GPA when I transferred into my new high school was a one point nine five, not a point nine five.
I just I feel in my heart that I needed to just kind of there was a one before there.
So there was OK. If you did listen to our previous episode, all right.
(10:09):
So what she's talking about? Yes.
So when I was in high school, I was diagnosed with dyslexia, dyscalculia and also ADHD.
So schooling in itself was was a big hurdle for me to kind of overcome.
And on top of that, I was introduced to art in general because of my private prior school district.
(10:32):
Art wasn't an option.
We didn't have like art in the cart and we didn't have like an elementary school.
We just didn't have our student teaching. No. Oh, and you're right.
Yeah. So when I went to the new high school, art was like brand new to me.
And it was that one section that was kind of like my safe home because it wasn't anything that I had to work on.
(10:53):
Right. It was what it was.
And it was my interpretation.
So I found a really close connection to that, which led me to go into art education in college.
So I ended up getting my degree.
I did my student teaching, got to the tail end and decided I didn't want to teach.
(11:18):
And then you had to.
And then when the pandemic happens and it closed down, the schools kind of were fumbling through.
They didn't they didn't have an exact plan set in place.
It was a whole semester until they actually rolled out a plan.
So you put a plan together for them.
Yeah, I just went to the state, you know, I pulled the standards and the benchmarks and made sure that everything that I did
(11:45):
aligned with what they were supposed to learn within the grade levels that they were in.
And I did my version of it, making sure I hit those things so that they didn't academically fall behind.
But then I also made it so that it aligned with the schedule that they had at school.
So I incorporated Jim and you with Joe P.E. with Joe.
(12:10):
We found cosmic yoga, which was awesome.
It was cool.
And then our school in particular does like popcorn on Fridays and popcorn in movies.
Yeah, we did popcorn every Friday and then we did like a reward system.
We we got like a bunch of like little toys at the end of the week that they got to pull from.
(12:32):
See, I even forget that once they, you know, as long as they finished strong and they did what they were supposed to do.
And what else did we do? I don't know.
They both brought brought out musical instruments.
So Brayden started playing keyboard and Preston started playing guitar.
Yeah, because all sports got closed down.
So then we were like, you know, this is a great chance to learn a new instrument.
(12:54):
Yeah. So, I mean, it went to I mean, we're looking at the positives now.
It went from me being home more, us being together more, me not driving an hour to work.
Yeah. Not driving an hour back from work.
Eating dinner with with you or at a reasonable time.
Even lunch and breakfast and dinner with each other at the same time.
(13:14):
Teaching, being able to be around the kids to see how they learn, being able to clean the house,
keep it clean during this covid time, being able to go out and shop so my pregnant wife doesn't have to go to the store.
Yeah, that was very kind.
And being able to teach the kids a new instrument.
Yeah. Which they completely already forgot how to do, but it was still fun.
(13:35):
Brayden still knows how to play the piano.
Yeah. And Preston.
I don't know. He he doesn't know how to play guitar anymore.
Let's be honest. So.
Yeah, it kind of gave us more one on one time and probably set you and I up for success for.
I guess our schedule now being like with each other 100 percent of the time.
(13:59):
So I feel like covid with me being home all the time and what not kind of set us up for where.
We are now with us being both fully remote. Yes.
So we can actually play nicely and get along with each other.
Yes. Even though you still bring stinky lunch into the office.
Hey, I don't anymore.
(14:22):
Oh, salmon days. I love those.
It was very healthy, full of protein. Don't knock my salmon.
All right. So just respect your coworker, your office coworker, you know.
Or you could try it. You have not tried it.
No, I smelt it. That's enough.
So. Reflecting on the homeschooling.
(14:45):
You know, I think there were some really positive things there, things that make me smile when I think about it.
Yeah, especially the.
The P.E. with Joe makes me happy.
The learning the new instruments make me happy.
And then I honestly forgot about the award, the rewards thing that we did.
I'm like a little Dollar Tree toys or.
(15:07):
Yeah, I think we got some hot wheels, ninjas or something, something that they were super into at that point in time.
Yeah. So.
Not just homeschooling. Was one of the things and obviously time for itself, but I was able to.
Since I had so much time on my hands, like start tinkering around with stuff when I end up,
(15:33):
I had this old arcade one up machine and that's when I rebuilt that whole entire thing and made an emulator out of it and get all the ROM files and all that stuff.
And I rewired the whole thing. So forget about that. Yeah.
Kind of rekindled the hobby during that time as well.
I don't know if we did too many things outdoors, then.
(15:54):
We went more towards the farm. We spent a lot of time at the farm with the horses and stuff.
And then we were able to go to up north. Yeah.
We spent a lot of time up north. Which is very drastic and a change because down here it was like almost everybody was wearing a mask.
And then we went up north about three and a half hours away.
(16:15):
Everything was all kind of loose and not everybody was wearing masks.
Yeah. And it's a lot more spaced out up there.
So there wasn't I don't think that there was that much of a threat, especially when you were in your home.
Our neighborhood that we live in isn't like super congested.
There is like a lot of land. But up north, it's, you know, woodsy.
(16:36):
Yeah. But I'm talking about like when we went out to eat and stuff.
I don't think people were even wearing masks. I don't think we went out to eat, did we?
I thought so. I blocked out some of the stuff.
I thought I thought we did. But yeah, I mean, it even when we went to the grocery store,
you didn't, but I did. But there was still there was a lot of people not wearing masks.
And you know what the funny thing about the grocery store was is because when COVID first happened, everyone was so afraid of kids.
(17:04):
Remember? Yeah. So I would bring, you know, to give Deanna a break and also get the kids out of the house.
I would bring one of our kids with us. We only had two at the time because the third was on the way.
And I would bring one of them or both of them with me.
And you should see the looks that I got from people when I was walking down the aisle with them.
Was it magical? Like you didn't have to talk to anybody. It was like your dream come true.
(17:30):
I mean, they looked like them like they were the devil. Like to stay away from me.
That's terrible. And I forgot about that. How the grocery stores were one way aisles.
Do you remember that? I remember you telling me that.
And I would curse under my breath when someone was going the wrong way. You fucking idiot.
What are you doing? You can't follow an arrow on the floor and on the side.
(17:51):
So I would get so pissed off at that. So then obviously it came out that it wasn't kids that started this whole COVID thing or it wasn't them.
It was just, you know, what a crazy time. But what's crazy about it is that I don't.
I don't hate it that much. Like, obviously getting laid off was the biggest thing.
(18:12):
Yeah. And then not knowing what was going to happen with the house, because I don't know if everybody out there knows it.
But if if if my employer told. Our title agency and our mortgage person that we were that I got laid off, that's 50 percent of our income.
Right. Yeah. So that could jeopardize it. Yeah.
(18:33):
And then at that point in time, we had already sold our existing house. Yeah.
So, I mean, we could have been screwed. We could have.
Yeah. And then, you know, you just think back on it like, oh, God, we're so stupid.
Why do we add that back splash on there? You know, I love that.
I know. Why did I take that lunch?
Why did I take that free dinner from my manager? So you know, a guilt trip.
(18:55):
So one of my highlights during that was my siblings and I am on my mom's side would do like weekly Skype calls.
Oh, right. And it would just be like the entire family. And I mean, on my mom's side, we have there's a lot of kids and they have a lot of kids.
(19:16):
And I saw them more during the lockdown than I have in the last.
Yeah, I've I saw more virtually than I have in person over the last five years.
And it was it was really nice seeing them.
Yeah, it was weird. It was a very weird time, but it also felt I'm a very I'm an introvert, right?
(19:42):
You're more of an extrovert. So it felt really good to me.
So just to be able to like, oh, we can't go out.
Oh, dang it. Man, I was looking forward to that.
I really wanted to go to the bar tonight. Yeah.
Yeah. I really wanted to hang out with all the kids. Right.
Every single one of them. And I mean, it really showed us a lot of our kids personality during that, too, like education wise.
(20:08):
Like Preston, our oldest, he hated the way that I was teaching.
He hated the way that I put things together.
He could not wait to get back to the classroom with his friends and learn in that environment.
Brayden thrived. He was like, you mean to tell me I don't have to see anybody or talk to anybody.
(20:32):
This is amazing. It wasn't until he you remember this, he drew a face on a basketball and started carrying it around.
It was up north. Yeah, it was. He's like, this is my buddy.
Yeah, he called his buddy.
And then I thought, yeah, I feel like we need we need more people around us.
(20:55):
I think he was just being a kid with imagination.
He was he wasn't like cast away with Tom Hanks and Wilson.
Yeah, I do remember thinking this is really cute.
But then also thinking maybe we need to get back into society.
No, I'm good in the woods. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.
(21:15):
Come deliver my groceries and leave me alone.
But he is he is very much like you. He can walk into a room, look around and be like, no, yeah, none of this.
No, thank you. I didn't have to do that during COVID.
You didn't. Well, if I did, I'd be screwed because the people in the room were you guys.
So so, yeah, once again, the highlights of staying in, obviously, we're laughing about it.
(21:43):
We can think back and kind of laugh about the stuff that happened.
You know, we were fortunate enough to have our finances in order.
Thanks to Deanna for being smart with money to where I could be laid off, because let me tell you, the state of Michigan was no help.
No, they really weren't employment and stuff like that.
(22:05):
So you had to really hound them. I did.
Yeah, every single week for like months.
You called them every week. They had to back pay me like 10 or 15 weeks.
Yeah, it was insane. And to think like, oh, and there's no there's no operator to pick up your call.
Right. It was all emails. Oh, my gosh.
So that was a sad part of it was because I had to help my dad figure out how to do that.
(22:28):
Yeah, help my dad figure out how to file for unemployment while his son.
He's filing for unemployment, so because you guys would talk to each other every week like, oh, no, he came over.
Remember, and I file on the computer. Yeah. Did you get paid? No, I didn't get paid.
He definitely got paid before I did. He did. So maybe they went down the line in terms of age.
(22:51):
Who needed it? Yeah. Single single man.
So it kind of like the lessons that we learned about our ourselves are really the priorities.
Right. So we didn't need to. I mean, at the end of the day.
Even though I honestly, you know, to this day, I still really enjoyed working for that manager.
(23:15):
That company, he did give me severance for.
Two weeks, three weeks or something like that afterwards, I can't remember what it was, but after he laid me off.
So that was very nice of him. But you learn about the priorities that.
Family is first. Your dogs are first. Kids are first. Don't know how long your parents are going to be around for.
(23:40):
Don't know how long your dogs that have been with you for 14, 15 years are going to be along for.
And your boss can easily say, fuck you. So it really puts things in a perspective.
And I was at that job for five years and I worked every single weekend. Yeah, you did.
I mean, obviously not every single weekend, but I mean, 90 percent of the weekends I worked.
Yeah, you worked at least one day out of the weekend. Yeah, at least if not both, at least one.
(24:05):
And, you know, I put that family time. On the back burner because I got a job job that I stayed loyal to for five years.
Never really asked for a raise and. It was a fuck you.
Because the owner didn't get his priorities straight. Yeah, so.
(24:27):
You know, you learn more things going back to the positive stuff and so the negative stuff, you learn more things that family is more important.
Health is more important. Who you're with, who you still have in your life is more important.
Staying connected is more important than that nine to five grind, eight to five grind, ten to six, whatever it was, weekend work.
(24:48):
So, yeah, that kind of enlightened it there and how simplifying our life kind of created.
An easier life, I feel like we.
Especially me, I feel like if I don't want to do anything right now, if I don't want to do something, I feel like we're more inept to be like, no, I don't want to do it.
(25:10):
Whereas before I feel like we felt we felt like. All right, they asked me to come. I have to do this. The kid has this at school.
We have to go where when COVID was locked down, we could choose.
Yeah, honestly, with our lives, what we wanted to do. Yeah.
And now I think it's rolled over to us being like, no, I don't want to do that.
(25:32):
I'd rather stay home. I'd rather do this. I'd rather enjoy my life than do something I don't want to be a part of.
Yeah. It has to be really important for me to invest my time.
And that's I think that's what I kind of learned the most was how important and valuable time was and how you were going to put your energy into it.
(25:55):
So that's what I kind of focused in on.
And what I kind of took away from it was how I don't necessarily have to be the people person pleaser that I was.
And if I don't want to do it, I don't have to do it. Yeah.
And then we're not kids anymore. Right. You can't.
(26:18):
So sound like a kid. You can't make me. Exactly.
No, no, no, no, no. You can't make me. You know, but yeah, I feel like we're so.
But it also I feel like it also helped us put together since we were together all the time, the four of us at that time set those expectations and not really expectations,
(26:42):
but set those standards for our kids to understand like how it's important to invest your yourself and into what you want to do.
Yeah. And that kind of carried forward and having them understand, you know,
what we do on a daily basis and how we're spending our energy and what we've done for each other.
(27:09):
It's kind of put the whole like work, chores, shopping because they had to see practice, you know, games and putting together the schedule.
It's just, you know, kind of like this is how our family works. This is what's important to our family.
And and we all play a role. Essentially. Yeah.
(27:32):
So how do we maintain that balance from Covid?
Or do we have any tips for listeners that we can portray to them on how you maintain that balance?
So on my end, I've kind of been more inclined to put myself forward.
(28:00):
Yeah. And I've really priority mentally prioritize myself.
And, you know, what's important to me, like working out or reading a book,
reading a book. Yeah. But then also not investing time into people that I don't care about.
(28:21):
Yeah. Especially like kids, parents that I don't align with.
And that's kind of how I've never been more attractive.
That's how I kind of like make the balance. Like if I if I hit it off with like a mom or something from like a football or soccer or something,
I'm like. I dig your energy. Right. I feel like we could be friends, you know.
(28:46):
What you have recently. Yeah, I have. But yeah, there were some situations, some parent friends that
are friends, parents of our kids where we had to.
We almost felt like we were like tied to them. We had to, you know, hang out with them, entertain them,
do the friendly thing, inviting them over, hanging out, whatever it is.
(29:09):
And as as big of an asshole as I sound, not everyone is for everyone.
Not everyone fits your mold. Yeah.
So that's kind of what I've carried forward, unless it's making my heart happy.
I'm not putting my energy into it. Yeah.
And that's what I would kind of just throw out to everybody is just kind of like finding that balance
(29:31):
and what makes you personally happy, what makes your family as a whole happy and put your energies towards that
and like not waste it on things that don't necessarily I don't want to say like benefit you, but doesn't make you feel good.
Now, in the last podcast, we talked about pushing your kids into something, pushing them too hard.
(29:55):
This covid lockdown pushed us.
Into something that we probably, you know, someone said, hey, I need you to go do this.
Right. Yeah, we didn't want to do it.
We didn't want to be locked down at the beginning, right.
But it reshaped us being pushed into a hard situation.
Yeah, reshaped us on how we think of our our lives, our free time, our time off, our time at home.
(30:24):
So, yeah, we were pushed into a hard situation that I don't think any sane person would be like, yeah, let's do that.
Yeah, I'll I'll take a layoff.
Yeah, I'll be locked and confined in a house. Yeah.
Two small children. Yeah, I'll take my my dog's death.
You know, but it did mold us into.
(30:49):
Hopefully stronger people for the future.
Yeah, it definitely did.
I feel like another positive that.
I kind of took away from it was, I mean, because through the whole process,
while teaching the boys and being pregnant and everything, obviously, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows.
(31:12):
There was a lot of really hard times where I just wanted to.
Not be here.
So when when that kind of crept up, it was kind of like, how do I how do I fix this?
You know, and then that's when I started to write down all the funny stuff that they say and they do.
(31:35):
And then I would kind of like when I would get into a.
You know, a Debbie Downer type of mood, I would I would read through it and remind myself that I do love these children.
That's funny, because actually, one of the things that I have in here is that, you know, to reflect.
(31:56):
Yeah, for the listeners to reflect.
And how we can do it going forward is to start small habits to bring back, you know, kind of calmness.
And one would be journaling to kind of balance, you know, balance out yourself, balance out your thoughts.
And like you said, go back to it. Yeah.
And you've had a rough day. Yeah.
(32:16):
And I still do that to the debt to this day.
All the funny or crazy or like very specific to their character, things that they do, I just write it down.
And I mean, it's a huge journal that now I can reflect on.
And and, you know, if it doesn't turn out to be anything, at least it's like a timeline of for them to look at.
(32:40):
Yeah. One day if they want to or throw away, whatever.
Was there anything else that we didn't include that you want to talk about about the lockdown?
I think that was it. OK.
So, well, none of us wanted to relive the hardships of covid.
It's worth remembering the moment that helped us reconnect with what really matters once again with family, friends,
(33:05):
ourselves, you know, husband, wives, relationships.
So, you know, I encourage you if there is any suggestions or any stories of of how covid went with you,
is there any silver linings that you had that you would like to share with us?
(33:25):
We greatly appreciate you listening.
Please feel free to subscribe.
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And we greatly appreciate it once again, if you've made it this far into this podcast, listening to us.
And once again, I'm Matt, I'm Deanna, and this is Chasing Balance.
Real life parenting, one conversation at a time.
(33:46):
We'll see you later.
Right.
(34:17):
you
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