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November 30, 2025 45 mins

What happens when years of emotional abuse and people-pleasing finally break you—and that breaking becomes your biggest breakthrough? In this raw and transformative conversation, self-love coach Gina Coviello shares her journey from rock bottom at 54 to becoming a powerful voice for women's empowerment. If you've ever struggled with self-worth, needed constant approval, or felt like you're shrinking to fit everyone else's expectations, this episode will show you there's another way.

In This Episode, You'll Discover:

  • Why self-love isn't selfish—and how it creates a ripple effect that transforms your relationships, parenting, and entire life
  • The pivotal moment that shifted Gina from seeking external validation to owning her worth
  • How to set healthy boundaries in long-term relationships without guilt (even when you've set different precedents for years)
  • Red flags vs. green flags: How to identify who truly supports your growth
  • Why people treat you poorly (hint: it's almost never about you)
  • How to move from people-pleasing to self-validation—and what that actually looks like in daily life
  • The surprising connection between forgiving others and reclaiming your own peace
  • How Gina overcame her fear of public speaking and now lights up stages with her message
  • One simple practice you can start TODAY to begin reclaiming your worth

Gina Coviello is a women's empowerment coach, speaker, and advocate for radical self-love. With a signature blend of gentle fire and fierce compassion, Gina guides women to reconnect with their inherent worth, speak their truth, and stop shrinking to fit lives that no longer reflect who they are. Through transformational workshops and group coaching, she helps women break free from people-pleasing, perfectionism, and the constant need for external validation.


Connect with Gina Coviello

Website: www.coachginacoviello.com

  • Free monthly workshops available
  • Small group coaching sessions
  • Resources for self-love and empowerment

If you’re ready to move from shrinking to shining, this episode offers tools you can use today, plus the community insights that make growth stick. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs this message, and leave a quick review to help more women find their voice.

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Produced by Rose Wippich | Chat Off The Mat Podcast

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rose (00:00):
Ready to unlock your most vibrant, authentic self?
Welcome to Chat Off The theMat, where holistic wellness
meets practical wisdom andextraordinary transformation.
I'm your host, Rose Wippich I'ma Qigong instructor, yoga
teacher, and a Reiki master.
So get ready for inspiringconversations with wellness

(00:21):
experts who understand yourunique journey, plus practical
tools for energy healing, lifetransitions, and conscious and
soulful living.
Your journey to radiantwellness starts now.
Let's create magic together.
Today's guest is someone whosepresence is both grounding and

(00:43):
igniting.
Gina Coviello is a women'sempowerment coach, speaker, and
advocate for radical self-love.
With a signature blend ofgentle fire and fierce
compassion, Gina guides women toreconnect with their inherent
worth, speak their truth, andstop shrinking to fit a life
that no longer reflects who theyare.

(01:04):
Whether she's leadingtransformational workshops,
challenging the myth thatself-love is selfish, or helping
women break free from peoplepleasing and perfectionism,
Gina's work is a powerful callto rise.
In this conversation, weexplore what it means to live
boldly from the inside out, howto reclaim your voice after

(01:25):
years of silence, and whychoosing yourself is the most
generous act you can offer theworld.
If you've ever felt unseen, butknow deep down you were born to
shine.
This one's for you.
Let's dive in.
Welcome, Gina.
How are you?
I'm doing great, Rose.
How are you this morning?
I am doing great.
I'm I've been looking forwardto our to our interview.

(01:48):
So thank you for uh for beinghere.
Well, thank you for asking me.
I'm honored to be here.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So let's uh let's dive deep.
Let's uh tell the audience someI I did the intro about you,
and um I just want to uh for youto share your own personal
story about who you are and andwhat you do.
Okay, great.

Gina (02:07):
So Gina Coviello, and I am a self-love coach, more
specifically working with women,because that tends to be who's
interested in self-love at themoment.
Um I grew up with a tremendousamount of emotional abuse at
home, and then it just continuedthroughout my life.
And I am someone who reallyunfortunately hated myself

(02:30):
subconsciously.
I hated myself.
And I hit just a couple ofyears ago, I was 54, I believe,
when I kind of hit rock bottom.
And I was so uncomfortable andmiserable in life that I wanted
out of here, you know, I wantedoff the planet.
And I did not take any actionon that, but it instead I

(02:50):
propelled forward in a reallybeautiful positive way.
And I decided that I get tochoose who is in my life.
I don't have to continue tohave people in my life who are
not kind and loving toward me.
So I started to take bettercontrol of my life.
I changed direction career-wisebecause I wasn't really
fulfilled with the career I hadat the time.

(03:11):
And I started prioritizing me.
What do I want?
What do I need?
What makes me feel happy?
How do I want to spend my freetime?
And these were very self-lovingthings that I did.
I didn't know that what I wasengaging in was self-love.
I just started focusing on me.
And then I chose to speak aboutit and I got really positive

(03:35):
feedback.
And I decided that this is atopic that is really needed in
the world, that especially inthis country anyway.
I don't know about the rest ofthe world, but I imagine people
all over the world feelincomplete.
And it's really ourrelationship with ourself that
brings true happiness andfulfillment.

(03:56):
So I am here to talk aboutself-love and lift other people
up and hopefully help peopleheal their own emotional
internal wounds.

Rose (04:05):
Oh, I love that.
And I'm sure that there arepeople globally, especially
women, I find the same as well,that really need this messaging
from people like yourself.
Now, um uh I've read or you'vesaid that self-love is selfish.
It's the most generous act.
Can you unpack what that means,especially for women who've
been taught otherwise?

(04:26):
Because, you know, we feel thatonce we turn that love on
ourselves, we may feel a littleguilty or maybe a little
selfish.

Gina (04:34):
Yeah, yeah.
And it's actually thatself-love is not selfish.
Oh, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
No, no, I just want to clarify.

Rose (04:42):
I meant isn't selfish.

Gina (04:44):
Yes, right, right.
Um, yeah, loving yourself andtaking good care of yourself and
getting to a place where youare fulfilled and happy in your
life, when you're in that state,you actually bring love and
compassion and patience, etcetera, into your other
relationships, into your career.

(05:06):
And when you are bringing thosepositive emotions into life,
you impact other people in areally positive way.
Um, I can give you a, I'll tryto make it a quick example.
I'm a divorced single mom, andI was not always, you know, the
loving, nurturing mom that Ihope I am today.

(05:26):
I had an incident with one ofmy kids, and I won't go into the
whole story, but he got mad atme.
I was just having a simpleconversation with him about
something that he did that Ididn't feel was optimal.
And I was just trying toexplain to him what I felt he
could have done better, but Iwas nice about it.
He got mad, blew up at me,stormed out of the room.

(05:48):
And I thought, okay, becauseI'm aware something else is
going on with him.
Whatever he's reacting towasn't the conversation we were
having.
It was something else.
And when someone's upset, thatis not the moment to go and talk
about it, right?
I needed for him to calm down.
Well, half hour 45 minuteslater, he came to me.

(06:08):
Now he is 16, he was 15 at thetime.
He came to me and apologizedand said, Yeah, mom, I'm sorry,
something else is going on withme.
You didn't deserve that, youknow, et cetera.
And it was a really beautiful,and he's 15.
And I would not have had thatpresence at that age.
I even a couple of years ago, Ididn't have that, you know,

(06:31):
awareness and understanding.
And I know that that was adirect result of me loving
myself because that's the exactthing that I do with my kids
now.
Right.
I'm not perfect.
I still react inappropriatelyat times.
Right.
We all do.
It's normal, it's common.
Yeah.
But when I realize that I'vedone so, I go back to my kids

(06:52):
and I will tell them, hey, I'mupset about something else and I
took that out on you.
That was not about you.
I'm sorry, you didn't deservethat.
Well, here's my 15-year-old sondoing the same thing.
You know, he's mirroring myawareness, which is self-loving.
And the ripple effect goes evenfurther than that.

(07:13):
I can say that he is going togrow up to be a better husband,
a better father, a bettercoworker, you know, whatever,
because of my loving myself.
I am impacting people in hislife that aren't in his life
yet.
And so that is the mostbeautiful thing that you can,

(07:34):
that is a gift, gift that I'vegiven my children, right?
To be a better, moreresponsible, loving, self-aware
person.
So when I bring love into myrelationships because I'm in a
good place with me, that's athat's a gift.
It is loving for me to lovemyself.
It makes the world a betterplace ultimately.

Rose (07:54):
Oh my God, yes.
I love that you share that.
Thank you.
I feel the same way.
We both have twins.
I have boys.
You have two boys?
Yeah, they're boys.
Yeah.
And um, I've done the samething with them.
You know, I there's momentswhere I had a rough time for for
whatever reason.
You know, raising kids in ingeneral and and doing
everything, uh, sometimes itgets, you know, crazy.

(08:16):
And I've done the same thing.
You you you talk to them andyou say, hey, I'm really sorry
that I was I acted this way.
And they learn from you, andand and like you said, it just
makes them a better person.
And you're also showing themthat you value who you are.
I think a lot of that self-lovecomes from, you know, you start
to value who you are more.
There's a lot of things justfrom that self-love.

(08:38):
You value yourself and yourespect yourself and you show
others, hey, I I want to berespected also.

Gina (08:44):
Right.
And that's setting healthyboundaries, right?
And not again, setting healthyboundaries is super, super
important.
And that is me respectingmyself.
Yeah, no, you don't get totreat me this way.
I love you and I get you'reupset, but you gotta, you know,
hold back.
Yeah.

Rose (09:01):
Yeah.

Gina (09:01):
So let's talk a little bit about that.

Rose (09:03):
Um, so when so you can all right, so people that are in
relationships for a long timeand don't have the women, I'm
not gonna talk about women anddon't have those healthy
boundaries at first, sometimesit may be hard to establish
those because you've already setprecedents, right?

Gina (09:18):
Yes, yeah.

Rose (09:20):
So do you come across that and how how can women kind of
keep going without losingmoment, I don't know, like
without losing faith that thingswill change, you know, because
everything is practice and yeah,establishing almost new rules,
but not rules.

Gina (09:39):
Right.
You know, but yeah, theboundaries.
Yeah, and this is so this isadvocating for yourself.
And I would want women to thinkof it not as I am being, can I
say bitchy?
I don't know if I can say thaton your program.
I'm sure okay.
I'm not being a bitch by sayingyou don't get to treat me this
way.
I'm actually protecting myenergy, right?

(10:01):
Out of from a place of love ofself.
I deserve to be treated withrespect.
And I'm going to enforce in aloving way that, you know, you
don't get to shame me orbelittle me or make me feel
guilty repeatedly, or what, youknow, whatever, whatever it is.
Um, you don't get to hang stuffover my head, and that it's

(10:26):
it's a good thing for me toprotect my own energy again, not
because I'm being selfish orgreedy, but because I deserve to
be allowed to be treated in aloving, respectful way.
So, you know, that old saying,do unto others as you would have
done unto you.
It's it's an equal change.
I want you to treat me the wayI would treat you.

(10:47):
And if I'm not going to yelland swear and belittle you, I
would like not to be manipulatedor, you know, whatever in
return.
And it takes practice.
You know, I've done thingswhere I've I had a friendship.
I was upset with a friend.
She's not in a place of beingself-loving and she doesn't show

(11:09):
up for the friendship in theway that I would like, you know,
to have an equal exchange.
It took me two years before Igot the courage to have a
conversation with her.
And, you know, that's okay.
I'm not going to beat myself upover it.
It's okay that it took me thatlong.
But I finally had theconversation with her that I

(11:29):
need her to reciprocate theattention and the love that I
put into our friendship.
And surprisingly, she receivedthe conversation very well.
It was uncomfortable to havethe conversation, but she
received it well.
I did it with kindness.
I didn't make her out to feellike she's a bad person.
She's not, you know, and that'sa that's an important thing.

(11:50):
When you are establishing aboundary with someone, you don't
need to tell them that they'rea horrible person.
You just need to ask for, hey,I, you know, I felt bad when you
said this in front of myhusband.
And I'd appreciate if you wouldtry not to do this in the
future.
Right.
You can do it a very simple,loving, respectful way, just to

(12:14):
let them know you crossed a linewith me and I'd appreciate if
you would try not to do that inthe future.
And, you know, give people achance to correct their
behavior.
If they're not used to yousticking up for yourself, you
might find that they push back.
I with my kids, I did that.
I was starting to set someboundaries and they were like,
well, no, we think we get to do.

(12:34):
And I'm like, no, it's, youknow, but again, calmly with
love.
But you may find that peopleare not receptive.
Yeah.
When you start behavingdifferently, they may not be
receptive to it.
So be patient and loving withthem.
Uh, give them time to correct,but be persistent.
You got to be consistent.
Yeah.
But again, it's a love, itcomes from a place of love of

(12:56):
self, not from I have to tellyou to back off or I'm not gonna
be able to, you know, havewhatever in my life.
It's from a place of love.
I deserve to be treated withlove and respect.

Rose (13:07):
Yeah, and and not to take it personally if they don't
react the way you think theyshould react, or maybe come, you
know, like your friend, youwere lucky, and she she reacted
in a nice way, but there'll betimes where people may not, and
you can't take it personally,and you have to continue to

(13:28):
establish that boundary.
And at some point, if you havefriends that maybe won't respect
that, you have to maybe cutties or cords and and you know,
or if you can't cut ties orchords, just energetically,
intentionally set them, sendthem loving energy.
It's kind of what I say, youknow, just send them that loving

(13:50):
light and maybe they'll softenand will then respond in a
different way when you try toestablish those boundaries
again.

Gina (13:58):
Right.
But you make a very importantpoint when you are setting
boundaries, and again, givepeople time to adjust.
But if they don't or can't orwon't adjust, it is self-loving
to let go of the relationship.
Um, that's you know, that's adifficult choice to make, and
I'm not saying that anyoneshould do that, but it is a

(14:20):
self-loving choice to not allowsomeone to treat you poorly.
And I think the the hardreality is that when someone is
treating us poorly repeatedly,it's actually my fault, not
their fault, because I'veallowed them to do this, right?
And if I allow it, I'm choosingit.

(14:42):
And it's important to know thatyou don't have to choose it.
Now, not every relationship iseasy to exit from, but it is
self-loving to maintain ahealthy, loving boundary.
And you know, everyone can dowithout what they will, but it's
an important point.
It is not self-loving to stayin a relationship where you are

(15:03):
repeatedly being treateddisrespectfully.

Rose (15:06):
I think you have to look at yourself and find out maybe
the root of why you're notcomfortable establishing
boundaries or having thatself-love.
Because just think about this.
You could be a very vulnerableperson or think person, and then
say something and you crumble,and then you're you have a

(15:27):
setback, and then it takes youlonger to re-establish that
confidence to say something.
So I don't know.
I guess that's how I look atit, like, you know, do the work
and feel good and find out whatyour weaknesses are and how you
can strengthen that self-loveand then have the confidence to
say, hey, you know, I'm doingthe work here, you know, let's

(15:48):
let's work on this together andand right make things good.
And yeah, yeah.

Gina (15:54):
Yeah.
And, you know, someone whotruly cares about you, who
actually loves you for you, notbecause they need something from
you.
If you go to them and bevulnerable and say, hey, I'm
working on this, I'd appreciateyour support.
If that's a healthyrelationship person, they're
gonna want to support you inyour efforts to grow and be your

(16:15):
own person and step into yourown empowerment.
So that's another, that's Ihave like red flags and red
flags.

Rose (16:22):
That's a great, great point.
Yeah, I love that.

Gina (16:24):
Someone who supports you, that's a green flag.
If they are resistant, it's ared flag.
It doesn't mean, again, thatyou can't fix the relationship
or repair the relationship, butthat's a red flag.
If they're not willing to beloving towards you when you say,
hey, what you're doing ishurting me, if they're like,

(16:45):
well, it's your fault, that's ared flag.
That's that they may not be inthat relationship because they
love you, but because they needsomething from you, maybe.

Rose (16:55):
No, that brilliant.
That's a great point.
And you know, you you have tofeel safe too.
I mean, not just likephysically safe, which is yes,
number one, physically self, butjust emotionally safe, you
know.
Uh, I think we all innatelywant to feel safe and nurtured
and taken care of.
Uh, and I think as women, youknow, we take care of a lot of

(17:17):
things and a lot of people.
And the last person that wereally focus on is our are
ourselves.

Gina (17:23):
Yeah.
Yeah, it's very common forwomen, especially if you're a
mother, right?
We really give a lot to ourchildren, which is appropriate,
but we forget to give back toourselves.
And then, you know, a lot ofwomen who um, when their
children go off to college ormove out of the home, they
suddenly feel really, reallyempty and they don't know what

(17:45):
to do with themselves, right?
Um, and that's because theyhave probably deprioritized
their own needs.
And it's it's beautiful to giveto your children in that way,
but you'll be a better mother ifyou also give to yourself.
Again, it's that ripple effect.
Your children will be moreindependent and um

(18:06):
self-sufficient if you aretaking care of you in the
process and you're setting agood example for them to be
self-loving, you know, maybewhen they're a parent too.

Rose (18:17):
We have a lot of very similar, um, besides the fact
that we both have twins.
I'm hearing you, and I'm like,she could be like my my sister
here, my doppelganger, becauseyou're you're saying so many of
the same things.
I mean, as I'm sure as you'reraising your children, you're on
this path.
Your kids are what, 16 or so.
Um, and you're doing things foryourself, right?
So you're you have a businessand you're and you're speaking

(18:39):
and you're also taking care ofthem and helping them become
more dependent, independent.
So you're you're you're you'reuh you're setting that that
beautiful uh stage set up fortheir success as well.
Let's talk a little bit aboutyours about you.
And you say you were once aonce shy woman, now lighting
stages with wisdom and heart.
And I want you to share with usa pivotal moment in your own

(19:02):
journey of self-empowermentbecause there are a lot of women
out there who are shy, and thenjust something happens, or
maybe something changes in theirlife, and they're like, now
it's this transformation.
So I want to talk about yourtransformation story.

Gina (19:16):
So, yeah, so public speaking was one of my biggest
areas of transformation.
I so again, I said I was raisedwith emotional abuse.
I was conditioned to believethat everything I said and did
was wrong or bad, or you know,so I was very um clued into
needing other people to approveof me.

(19:38):
So I was completely dependenton external validation, which
means everything that came outof my mouth was subject to
rejection, right?
And I got rejected a lotthrough most of my life.
So after I had hit rock bottomand I was starting to, you know,
have success with myself-loving practice, I decided

(20:00):
I want to get over my fear ofpublic speaking.
And it wasn't just publicspeaking, like even having this
one-on-one conversation with youthree or four years ago, super
uncomfortable for me, right?
Just because I would be afraidyou wouldn't like me.
And so I decided to speakpublicly, voluntarily.
I didn't need to.
So I joined a networking groupand they coincidentally had an

(20:24):
opportunity to speak at themonthly luncheons.
So I did.
And I volunteered and I decidedto talk about self-love.
So a week or so before mypresentation, because I had a
couple months to prepare, weekor so before, I started to get
really fearful that I wastalking to the wrong audience.

(20:46):
These were entrepreneurialwomen.
It's a women's networking groupof entrepreneurs.
And I'm like, oh, they alreadyown their own businesses,
they're already confident, andoh my God, I'm wasting their
time.
They're gonna be really mad atme, right?
My my usual fear, that was justmy usual self-talk.
Yes, my littleknee-nee-nee-nee-nee.
You're doing the wrong thing.

(21:07):
Don't do this, bubbled up.
And again, I had had successwith self-love and I realized
this is just my fear, excuse me,my fear trying to protect me.
And I have to speak because I'mtrying to get over my fear of
public speaking.
I have to do this, right?
I can't get over my fear ofspeaking if I don't speak.

(21:27):
So what I told myself was Iknow this topic is important.
Self-love is needed in theworld, and I'm just gonna own my
message.
And if nobody likes it, I'mgonna let that be okay, right?
Like I'm gonna stand up andspeak my truth for the first
time in my life, and I'm gonnabe okay if I get rejected, so be

(21:52):
it.
So I gave the talk and it wentover super, super well.
Um, a couple women separatelycame up to me and said, Gina,
that was a reallythought-provoking topic.
Right.
And and for me, huge becauseI've been afraid to say I like,
you know, the Baltimore Orioles.
Um, that would be scary to meto admit that, right?

(22:14):
So on the way home in the car,I started to cry because I I
understood I was holding myselfback, right?
I was the one who didn'tbelieve that what I have to say
has value.
And I just demonstrated tomyself that it does.
So now I have this vision ofbeing on big stages eventually.

(22:39):
You know, I'm working my wayup.
But the thing that held me backthe most, which was my fear of
speaking my truth, is now mybiggest empowering thing that I
have in my life.
So, yeah.
So, you know, my fear ended uppropelling me forward.
I didn't know what was on theother side of that fear.

(22:59):
This is a huge, hugebreakthrough for me personally,
um, to not only now becomfortable with public
speaking, but to pursue it as acareer.

Rose (23:09):
Wow, that is such an inspiring story.
And I can I could feel yourfear.
Oh, because you know, it'sscary to get in front of a and
you did it.
You you could have said, Idon't feel good, I I I changed
my mind, but you just I and Ithink part of you intuitively
were like, I have to do this.
I do knew innately that orsubconsciously that this was

(23:34):
going to be probably yourbiggest transformational moment.

Gina (23:39):
Yeah, because believing in yourself is the key to growth.
You have to believe that youare capable.
In order to do that thing youwant to do, you've got to
believe you can do it.
Because if you don't believeyou can do it, you won't, right?
You have to believe, even wheneveryone else tells you no, you
gotta listen internally andbelieve in yourself.

Rose (24:00):
And and hopefully I'll remember this other thought.
And the other thing you yousaid is um, oh my gosh.
Oh, and if and if it doesn'tresonate with anyone, it's okay.
I'm okay with that.
And that is huge because assomeone, and I feel the same way
because I was always someonewho needed approval.
I saw I'm mirroring you here.

(24:22):
Yeah, that that's very hard forus to say I would be okay with
that, because we want to someoneto say, you know what, we did a
great job, but we're okay nowif someone doesn't say that as
long as we know we did our best.

Gina (24:36):
Yeah, exactly.

Rose (24:38):
So a lot of lessons learned in that example that you
just gave us.

Gina (24:41):
Right.
And and the one thing else Iwant to point out is that
external validation is notneeded.
You know, you are worthy evenif no one else likes what you're
doing or saying.
That has nothing to do with youbeing enough, yeah, right?
You are funny or sexy orwhatever it is you want to be,
you are that.
You don't need other people totell you that you are for you to

(25:04):
know that you are lovable andworthy and smart enough and all
of that.

Rose (25:09):
Yeah, but you know, so have you been able to forgive
those individuals in your lifethat maybe didn't know any
better, but this is how theywere towards you?
Do you know what I'm saying?

Gina (25:26):
Yes, this is another huge, huge realization is that all
the people who were unkind tome, I now know, of course, I
didn't know at the time, thereason they did what they did to
me had nothing to do with me.
It was all about how they feltabout themselves.
Yes, right.
You know, when you have a badday and then you go home and

(25:49):
somebody, I don't know, breakssomething or says the wrong
thing to you, we blow up atthem.
And it's really not about theybroke my favorite vase, it's
about I got fired this morning,right?
Or whatever it was thathappened.

Rose (26:04):
Whatever, yeah.

Gina (26:04):
Yeah, whatever.
And I'm like distressed and I'munleashing my distress on you.
You're just the innocent.
And I think a lot of times, youknow, husbands or wives who
cheat on their spouse, it is notthat the other spouse isn't
sexy or lovable, it's thatsomehow they feel empty.

Rose (26:24):
Yeah.

Gina (26:25):
And cheating gives them a moment where they feel powerful
or in control or whatever it isthat they need.

Rose (26:31):
Yeah.

Gina (26:32):
It's almost never about you and almost always about how
they feel internally.
So having that understandinghelped me greatly in forgiving
my mom.
Um, even though she's she's nowpassed away, I can't have that,
you know, conversation with herin person.
She was horrible to me, but Inow know it's because she was

(26:52):
hurting inside.
She wasn't capable of giving methe love that I wanted.
Start getting emotional, but Inow see that.
And I'm it had nothing to dowith me.
And I've been able to findpeace within myself that I am
enough.
She had her own stuff going on.
I don't know what that wasabout, and I don't need to know.

(27:15):
I can have compassion.
She's still responsible for howshe treated me.
That's on her, but I can havepeace with me.
It doesn't mean that there wasanything wrong with me.
She felt bad about herself.
And I don't know, that's givenme a lot of ability to forgive
uh people who have hurt me.

Rose (27:34):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a that's a I I totallyrelate to what you said.
And and also being aware ofthat helps you to become you
could have carried those samecharacteristics into your own uh
way of parenting.
And you, like I know for me,very similar story.
And I said, I cannot be the wayshe was, I need to be

(27:55):
different.

Gina (27:56):
Right.
And yes, I totally have it.
I'm absolutely like, oh, my momdid this to me.
I am not letting my children,you know, have that in their
lives.
I'm gonna be very different.
And what I can also take awayfrom that, instead of being mad
at my mom, I can say, she taughtme how to be a better mother.

Rose (28:15):
Yeah.

Gina (28:16):
Her her example was not ideal, but I learned I chose to
come from a differentperspective.
I'm not repeating her mistakes.
I'm not saying I never did, butI did learn from it.
And I can say that she gave mea gift.
I'm a better mother because Ilearned from her how not to be a
mother, which is unfortunate,but it it helped me learn.

Rose (28:39):
So let me ask you a question.
We talked about self-validationor external validation.
How do you help women move fromneeding external validation to
cultivating more lasting innerworth?

Gina (28:53):
Um, so it is all about understanding that you are
perfect, you are enough as youare.
But again, I can tell you thattill I'm blue in the face.
If you don't believe it, it'snot gonna sink in with you.
So, what we work on is beingaware of your behavior.

(29:15):
And again, this is not an easy,quick thing.
Um, it takes time to beself-aware.
But if you listen to thethoughts in your head, you know,
we often say in our head or outloud, we might say, like, you
break something, like, oh, I'msuch an idiot, I'm such a klutz.
Listen to what you just, youknow, idiot and klutz just came

(29:38):
up.
Um, these are not nice words touse with yourself.
So being aware of what you'resaying in your head or what's
coming out of your mouth, oreven what choices you're making,
are you coming from a place oflove of self or are you coming
from a place of lack and fear?
Right?
Saying, Oh, I'm such an idiot,that's feeling a Lack of

(30:00):
whatever.
Um, and so the awareness of thechoices that you make and just
practicing am I making thischoice because I really want to
for me, or am I making thischoice because I need this
person to like me in thismoment?
Right.
That's a huge even something assimple as what you eat for

(30:23):
lunch.
If you go out to lunch withsome people and they're all
eating healthy stuff and youwant to eat pizza, that is okay.
If that's what you really wantand you're in a place with your
habits that, okay, I can havepizza today if I want, then
that's okay to have that pizza.
But if you choose the saladbecause they're all eating
salads and they're gonna thinkI'm unhealthy because I'm eating

(30:46):
pizza, then I better eat thesalad.
Then even though the salad is aphysically healthier choice in
that moment, it's notself-loving.
So just understanding where amI coming from?
Why am I making this choice?
Is it love of self or is itbecause I need validation?

Rose (31:05):
And it's connected to people pleasing.
I wrote that down as I was asyou were talking.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
So when you said make thosechoices, am I making those
choices based on what I want orwhat someone thinks I should do?
And then they will say, goodjob, or whatever.
And then that's what we want tohear.
So that's like so hard todecondition, but it takes work,

(31:29):
like you said.
Like you start to hear likethose words that people that you
say to yourself.
Like we all do it.
Of course.
I yeah, yeah, we all do, butit's recognize it when you say,
like, oh, okay, bros, don't callyourself an idiot.
You're not an idiot, you justwhatever.

Gina (31:44):
Right.
And then just correct yourselfand say, Oh, yeah, no, I'm
actually intelligent.
I just made a simple mistake.
I learned from this, you know,put it in a rephrase it in a
positive way.
Once, but catch yourself andthen, you know, rephrase it in a
positive way.

Rose (31:58):
Yeah.
And and and I think once youstart to really do that and and
do that practice, you'll noticethat shift.
And you notice you won't besaying those things as much and
also at or feeling that you needthat validation from others.

Gina (32:14):
Yeah.
Once you start to, I call themempty holes, like I'm not enough
is an empty hole.
Once you start to fill thoseempty holes, it gets much easier
to not say those things and tocatch yourself.
And but it does take time andeffort.
I don't want anyone to think,oh, in a week I can be cured.
No, it takes time and effort.

(32:34):
Um, so be patient and be kindwith yourself.
Long as you are working towardimproving, great, you're doing
awesome.

Rose (32:42):
And when you have those moments when, you know, like you
said, be kind to yourself,right?
Just like say, okay, just don'tget caught up in it.
Just make the flip the scriptand move on.

Gina (32:56):
Yeah, like you just need practice, right?
If you're learning to surf,you're not gonna master it
usually the first day.
You have to keep at it.
So you have to keep at, youknow, being aware.
Um, and just, you know, don'tbe, yeah, don't be unkind to
yourself, be patient, just likeyou would to your young child.

unknown (33:14):
Yeah.

Gina (33:14):
Keep at it, you're doing great.
Good job.
You caught yourself this time,you know, blah, blah, blah.

Rose (33:20):
You know, one of the things I've started to do, uh,
and I actually wrote this, Ihave an upcoming book.
And I put this exercise in mybook, is I created a value
journal.

Gina (33:29):
Yeah.

Rose (33:29):
Where I write in there, maybe not daily, but when I feel
I did something, and it couldbe simple, like, oh, I went to
the doctor today to get myyearly checkup, whatever.
Yeah.
I value that because I tookcare of myself.
So having that is like having agratitude journal.
So I started doing that.
So, and it does help, yeah.

Gina (33:48):
I even I even talked myself in the mirror, and I'll
look in the mirror and say, Goodjob, Gina.
I'm so happy with you today.
I'm so proud you you showed up.
It didn't go the way youwanted, but you showed up and
you try, you know.
Yeah, I do that in the mirrortoo.
But the gratitude journal isbeautiful, especially when
you're writing it, you're withthat thought for more time and
you think about it more.
Beautiful.

Rose (34:07):
Yeah, yeah, thank you.
Yeah.
Um, you so I was reading youryour bio, and I love how you
talk about nature and that youlove to be out in nature.
And you you mentioned aboutbeing inspired.
I know we're changing here, butbeing inspired by sounds and
spirit animals and all that.
Can we talk about that?
Because I love that stuff too.

(34:28):
Oh, yeah.
So talk about how that allgrounds you and how how that
just brings joy into your lifeand how you connect with that.

Gina (34:35):
It's huge for me.
I actually I live sort of closeto Yosemite National Park and I
love going to this park.
I go a couple of times a year.
And and I love to go by myselfbecause I find that I can really
get immersed in nature morewhen I'm by myself.
Whereas if I have a companion,we're talking and I'm not, you
know, as so this past year,Christmas, I celebrate

(34:58):
Christmas.
Um, my kids were with their dadon Christmas Day, which was a
thing.
So I decided, okay, I'm gonnago to Yosemite.
And I was alone in Yosemite onChristmas Day, and I had the
best Christmas ever.
And I was just like I wasscrambling on some rocks near

(35:18):
one of the waterfalls, and itjust brought me, I can't tell
you how much joy and groundingenergy it brought me.
And, you know, I do.
I love to like watch theanimals around me.
And one time I had this little,they're not squirrels in
Yosemite, but they look likesquirrels.
And he just came near me.
Of course, they're used tobeing fed, so I think he was
waiting for food, but he camenear me and just propped up and

(35:42):
just stared at me for a minute,you know, and it was so cute.
I'm like, oh, he's saying hi tome.
And I just, I don't know, Ireally revel in nature.
Like I didn't used to lovenature my whole life, but again,
as I'm turning inward, I findthat grounding in nature is it's
it's one of the times that Ifeel the best.

(36:02):
I feel the most like myselfwhen I'm alone in nature.
And I'm like, oh yeah, I don'tbelong in the city.
I need to be, you know, out inthe in the mountains and in the
woods.
Yeah.

Rose (36:13):
I love that.
That's beautiful.
I I too, I never was.
I was raised in the city and inthis in the uh suburbs.
And once in a while when I goout in nature, I've never been
to Yosemite, but I heard it'sbeautiful.
But you just yeah, it's almostas if you're you're you're
connecting to something greaterthan yourself, I feel.

Gina (36:31):
I had this really magical moment in Yosemite.
There's this landmark calledHalf Dome, and I went on a hike.
It's um, what is it, 4,800 feetin elevation change over eight
or nine miles in one day.
It's a strenuous one-day hike.
And it was a struggle for me toget up there the first time.
So I was up at the top of HalfDome, and that you get this

(36:52):
beautiful view of the valley andthe park.
And I was standing up there andjust proud of myself that I had
gotten up there and justfeeling really, really looking
out over the nature and seeingthe earth, you know, not just
the little park I was in, butthe earth as a whole.
And I had this magical moment.
All of a sudden, I had thisrush of um, it was like a, I'm

(37:17):
sure it was a love energy, butit felt like this warmth that
started at my head and went downto my toes very quickly, as if
someone had poured a really nicebucket of hot water on me.
This whoosh down the to myfeet.
And then two lines went throughmy head.
Uh, everything is as it shouldbe.
All is right with the earth.

(37:40):
And I know that didn't comefrom me.
Like I that's not the way Iwould have talked to myself,
especially at that age.
This was like 35 years ago.
That did not come from me.
And so I don't know.
In that moment, I connectedwith something greater than me.
It spoke to me.
Yeah, and it was just abeautiful moment.

Rose (38:01):
What's one simple but transformative practice?
And we've talked about a few.
Just give us a one that youfeel that women can start today,
today to begin reclaiming herworth.

Gina (38:12):
Yeah.
So I would like to pick, yougotta pay attention to yourself
and what feels good to you.
So um when I started myself-love journey, I um it
started with me cleaning mybathroom.
Now I'm not a slob, but I'm nota neat freak.
And my bathroom needed cleaningfor a couple of months.

(38:32):
So one day, and every time I'dwalk in my bathroom, I'd be
like, me, me, me, that showerdoor is still dirty, yuck.
And I kept, you know, pickingon myself for months.
I was doing this.
So one day, one weekend, thekids were away for the weekend,
and I went and cleaned mybathroom top to bottom.
And the next morning I walkedin, you know, first thing in the
morning, and it was spotless.

(38:54):
And I sort of had this, youknow, like the right, like the
heavens, the aw.
And and I felt lighter on myfeet.
And I thought, wow, this isreally nice.
And for me, the moment wasn'tabout the fact that my bathroom
was clean.
What I realized later in theday that it was the fact that

(39:15):
there was no nitpicking.
I walked in and my subconscioushad nothing unkind to say to
me, which for me was a hugemoment.
So I decided, you know what?
I'm gonna keep my bathroomclean all the time to get this
to quiet down.
And it worked.
And after a few months, mysubconscious, which had been

(39:39):
very unkind to me, startedsaying, Great job, Gina.
You've been keeping this upfor, you know, it started to
encourage me.
And one day, you know, I'dsqueegee my shower door after
every shower.
And one day I didn't want to doit, you know, like, I'm tired
of doing this every day.
And my subconscious went, ohno, no, we're gonna do this

(39:59):
because we don't want to go backto, you know.
So it was just me payingattention to what was meaningful
for me.
And and and that can bedifferent for everybody.
But, you know, then I I once Irealized I'm like, oh, I started
vacuuming the inside of my car,I keep my kitchen sink cleaner
because it quieted this down.

(40:20):
And I started feeling loved andpampered by me, right?
So pay attention to what makesyou feel good, and how can you
bring more of that into yourlife, whatever it may be, taking
a foreign language class ortennis lessons or doing your
nails.
Yeah, doing your nail, whateverit is that just makes you feel

(40:41):
good for you, and it can beanything.
And so pay attention though.
What is meaningful for me?
What makes me feel good, andthen make an effort um to bring
that into your life, you know,at whatever degree makes sense
for you.
I think that's a great, andthat's how my self-love journey
really started in earnest wascleaning my bathroom.

Rose (41:02):
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, um, thank you.
Um yeah, I'm I I'm the same.
And you know, it's and it'salso stop trying to do
everything, do it small, takebaby steps.
Right.

Gina (41:14):
When you take on too much at once, you're more likely to
quit.
Yes.
So start small, start with onething, and then after a month or
two, or whatever it is, take ona second thing, or you know,
whatever makes sense.
But yeah, build up to it.
You don't have to be perfectall at once, and you're never
gonna be perfect, so don't tryto be perfect, but just pay

(41:35):
attention to you, butincreasingly over time, just
work toward whatever it is youyou know you want in your life
and acknowledge your yoursuccesses along the way and be
gracious with yourself.
Oh, I didn't do it today.
That's okay.
Make sure you do it tomorrow.
Okay, yeah, and you're alreadyperfect, remember?

Rose (41:53):
Well, you are you are perfect, right?
No, I know.
I'm just saying, you're alreadyperfect, right?
But yes, let's not get intothat crazy perfectionism that we
all want.
We want everything to be in theright place at the right time
and you know, just chill alittle bit.
Um, and the and the other thingI we're gonna talk about, I
wanted you to talk about whatyou offer, like how you help
women and where they can findyou and all that good stuff.

Gina (42:13):
Perfect.
So I'm actually in a process ofI think I'm growing and
expanding, and I think myofferings are probably gonna
change, but um, I do have awebsite.
It's www.co or sorry, yeah, dotcoachgenacoviello.com.
Uh, I just have, you know, akind of information about what I
do.
I have been offering freemonthly workshops and they're

(42:36):
listed out there.
At the moment, this is July2025.
I don't have anything out therebecause I've took a couple
months off, but they can checkmy website and whatever I'm
doing will be on my website.
And I kind of like to do groupcoaching at the moment rather
than one-on-one.
I find, because it's all women,I think that women love to be

(42:59):
in groups because we learn fromeach other's experiences, you
know, and someone else mightraise something that's going on
in their life, and you're like,oh yeah, I have the same
experience.
And that can make you feel seenand heard, which I think is
important too, that, you know,oh, I'm not alone.
So I think the group coaching,small group coaching is actually

(43:19):
very, very powerful.
And we get a betterconversation and dynamic going,
and we support each other as Ilearn from you know the people
that I'm working with too.
So it's benefiting me, which isbeautiful.

Rose (43:32):
I love that.
I cannot believe you said thatbecause well, I do, because I
know you did group coaching, butone of the things I wanted to
just kind of end with was how weas women need to support other
women and help other women.
And like you're doing that inyour group coaching, you're
creating community where womencan talk to each other and help

(43:52):
each other because you know,sometimes women don't, or maybe
there's times where women didn'thelp other women, you know, and
maybe because we didn't knowhow, or just we always sometimes
feel alone.
But when we have this communityof women and know other women
are going through this samething, we can help each other
out.
And I love that.
So yeah, thank you for doingthat, for offering that and

(44:16):
bringing women together and forall the work that you're doing.
Um, is there anything else youwanted to say before we wrap up?

Gina (44:24):
Just please take time to prioritize yourselves.
It's it's the most importantthing you can do in your whole
life.
You know, whatever youreducation, your money, all that
stuff is, is great.
That stuff doesn't make youfeel whole and complete.
You having a great relationshipwith yourself is the only thing

(44:44):
that makes you feel whole andcomplete.
So please take time toprioritize yourselves and be
good to yourselves.

Rose (44:51):
Thank you so much for being here today, Gina.
This is a good thing.
My pleasure, Rose.
Great conversation so much forhaving me.
Yeah, thanks.
Thank you for sharing thissacred time with me today.
If today's episode resonatedwith you, I'd be so grateful if
you'd share it with a friend whomight need these gentle
reminders.
And speaking of support, yourreviews help other women find

(45:13):
our community.
So please take a moment toleave one wherever you listen to
podcasts.
Ready to go deeper?
Visit rosewippage.com toexplore my personalized healing
sessions, courses, andworkshops.
Until next time, remember, youare exactly where you need to
be.
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