November 9, 2025 • 34 mins
Transform Your Love Life: The Calling in the One Process with Heather Garbett
Discover how to manifest true love and create deeply fulfilling relationships with world-renowned relationship coach and psychotherapist Heather Garbutt. In this powerful episode, Heather shares her personal journey from spending Valentine's Day alone to finding her soulmate using the transformative "Calling in the One" process. Learn the step-by-step framework that's helping thousands worldwide break toxic patterns, uncover hidden blocks, and step into their authentic selves to attract lasting love. Whether you're single, dating, in a relationship, or navigating a breakup through conscious uncoupling, this episode offers practical wisdom for creating the love life you truly deserve.
In This Episode:
- The Calling in the One Process: Setting heart-centered intentions, identifying relationship patterns, and uncovering hidden blocks from family agreements and past trauma
- Breaking Toxic Patterns: Understanding emotional availability, choosing the right partners, and avoiding relationships that dim your light
- Identity Transformation: How relationship work impacts all areas of life including career, self-image, and personal growth
- Heather's Success Story: From lonely Valentine's Day 2016 to manifesting her true love in just months
- Conscious Uncoupling: Separating with dignity and grace while protecting children and avoiding costly legal battles
- Empowerment Tools: Learning to speak your truth, handle disappointments, and stay true to yourself in relationships
About Heather Garbett
Heather Garbutt is a world-renowned psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 40 years of experience specializing in love and relationships. She combines coaching, psychotherapy, visioning, and inner child work to provide deep and permanent transformation for her clients. Heather is on a mission to empower 10 million people worldwide to create true, loving, mutually supportive relationships.
Subscribe & Connect: Don't miss future episodes on relationships, wellness, and personal transformation. Subscribe now and join our community of conscious seekers!
CALLING ALL EMPRESSES! Ready to stop feeling invisible and start stepping into your power?
📖 Empress Rising: Own Your Energy, Trust Your Wisdom, and Rewrite the Rules of Aging 👑
Don’t miss your chance to step into your reign as an Empress — your wisdom years are your most radiant yet.
Rose Wippich bridges ancient wisdom and modern life, teaching people how to tap into their natural healing abilities. As an Energy Alchemist, she guides women towards vibrant health and helps them rewrite limiting narratives around aging and step into their sovereign power. Discover how to protect your energy, honor your boundaries, and reconnect with your true desires. Your journey to energetic sovereignty starts here. 👑
Connect with Rose!
Rose's Website
IG: Rose Wippich
Youtube Channel: Rose Wippich Wellness
Email: rose@rosewippich.com
Please review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ via Apple Review or Podchaser.
Produced by Rose Wippich | Chat Off The Mat Podcast
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rose (00:01):
Ready to unlock your most vibrant, authentic self?
Welcome to Chat Off The Matwhere holistic wellness meets
practical wisdom andextraordinary transformation.
I'm your host, Rose Wippich.
I'm a Qigong instructor, yogateacher and a Reiki Master, so
get ready for inspiringconversations with wellness
(00:21):
experts who understand yourunique journey, plus practical
tools for energy healing, lifetransitions and conscious and
soulful living.
Your journey to radiantwellness starts now.
Let's create magic together.
A world-renowned psychotherapistand coach specializing in love
(00:42):
and relationships, HeatherGarbutt, brings swift and
effective change to peoplestruggling in their romantic
life.
Her hybrid model blendedcoaching, psychotherapy,
visioning and inner child workprovides deep and permanent
results for her clients.
She shines a light on thechallenges and solutions to
healthy relating how to healpast hurts and gives powerful
tools to transform unhelpfulthoughts, emotions and behaviors
(01:06):
to create a richer and happierlove life.
Heather is on a mission and hascreated an evolutionary wave of
change and love relationshipsworldwide, with the goal of
empowering 10 million people tocreate true, loving, mutually
supportive relationships.
Welcome, heather.
I'm so happy that you're here.
Thank you so much.
It's lovely to be with you,thank you.
Heather (01:28):
so tell us about heather I'm a love and
relationship coach.
I was a psychotherapist for 40odd years and I live in newbury
with my true love, who I calledin using the calling in the one
process.
I love dogs and we have a dogbetween us who is called Joy.
(01:53):
For years I had the mantra I'mgoing to be living in the light
with Joy, and she was named Joyas a rescue dog and came to us
named like that.
So there we go.
Rose (02:06):
So you talked about calling in the one.
Can you tell us about that?
That's part of your offeringsand what you share with others
who come to you for love andrelationship guidance.
Heather (02:19):
Yes, it's my favorite favorite program.
Rose (02:23):
I'm curling up my toes and doing this as I'm talking about
it, and I know the story on howyou manifested your love, so I
hope you share that as well.
Shall we start with that?
Absolutely, let's do that.
Heather (02:35):
Well, so I was divorced finally in 2013, having left my
husband in 2007.
2013, having left my husband in2007, and had a number of
unsatisfying relationships inbetween, I was really doing the
(02:59):
trial and error dating processand there were more trials and
errors than you could possiblyimagine.
Didn't work for me at all.
And on Valentine's Day, 2016, Iwoke up and I was really cross,
really frustrated and feelinglonely.
It was cold outside and I feltcold inside, really frustrated,
(03:22):
and I vowed to myself that Iwould never wake up alone on a
Valentine's Day again.
I would always wake up with mytrue love.
And by the next year that hadhappened.
And it happened because therewas an email dropped on my inbox
that morning which said do youwant to create a miracle in your
(03:45):
love life?
Rose (03:48):
Wow, is that not a good lead in that is so powerful?
Yes, it is.
How can you say no to that?
Heather (03:56):
Absolutely.
Oh, it was a massive yes.
I had to work out how to spendinternationally to sign up for
it, but I did really immediatelyand I did the Calling in the
Warm online course.
I met Ian while I was doingthat.
We really got together by theJuly, so I think it started in
(04:18):
the March.
We were really properlytogether by the July and the
rest is history.
Rose (04:24):
Wow, that's wonderful.
I love that.
So then you now, since thecalling in the one was so
successful for you, I'm sure youwere like well, I have to share
this with everyone else.
So how did that come about, howdid your, how did this work
come about for you?
Heather (04:43):
I did.
When I did the coaching formyself, I could see how fast,
deep and effective it was and Ijust wanted to train in it
myself.
So I did that unconsciousuncoupling, because sometimes
we've got stuff from previousrelationships either that are
just closing or closed a longtime ago and have left us
(05:03):
vulnerable, or closed a longtime ago and have left us
vulnerable.
But my real joy is calling inthe one because we go so fast,
so deep in such a holding way.
It's the most loving programI've ever come across and I
stopped doing psychotherapybecause this works so much
better.
It's a sort of future-focusedpsychotherapy.
Rose (05:27):
So now you have me and everyone else curious how does
that work?
Heather (05:32):
Well, initially, I mean, I'd never heard of an
intention in my life.
So first of all, you set anintention for what you really
really want.
And it's not just I want a manwho's five foot 10 with dark
hair and blue eyes.
You know, that's the shoppinglist kind of intention.
We go much deeper in beforethat is a sealed thing.
(05:55):
So we look at your values,what's important to you, and I
help tease all of that out.
If somebody says to you, whatare your values, you think,
well, I don't know really.
You know people will say thatto me, but I say, well, what
would be the qualities ofrelationship you would want?
And they'll come up with thingslike trust, respect, love,
(06:19):
affection, passion, sincerity,warmth, commitment, consistency,
all of those kind of things.
So when we set an intention,I've usually put a date on it,
but the universe has its owngood time.
But a date sort of helps youfocus.
So it might be something likeit's December 2027, and I have
(06:47):
grown to be my full and richself.
There's nothing in the way I ambeing me and he or she is being
him are together in the mostloving, trusting, committed,
lasting, warm, passionaterelationship.
(07:11):
We are the loves of eachother's lives and everything in
our life flows in an easy,relaxed and healthy way, and I
am so grateful, thank you.
You can feel the magnitude oh,absolutely it's a strong
(07:33):
intention yeah, it is.
It's a heart and soul intention.
It's not like a work goal.
You know I'll get a pay rise bythe end of the year.
You know, know, it's likereally strong.
Rose (07:45):
Yeah, you feel it in your soul.
Heather (07:50):
Yeah, you do, you do, and when I do it with people,
you can see we craft it togetherand then I write it all down
and then I read it back to them,like I've just said to you, and
you can see, and they can feelthe sort of whoomph of that you
know really strong in theirbody, which is what you need.
(08:13):
Things should be embodied,right?
So then what happens is we lookat the patterns you've had in
relationships there you go,they're bound to come up, you
know, and if they don't come upin the coaching, they'll come up
in who you meet.
So you may as well learn it inthe coaching, because you don't
(08:33):
want to have to go through threemonths here and six months
there of trial and error datingbefore you really find out who
your true person is.
It can be choosing people whoare unavailable.
That's the most common patternand that can mean live so far
away it's never going to be agoer or you have more of a
relationship with your car or anairport than you do with them.
(08:57):
It can be that they're involvedwith somebody else that they're
never going to leave.
It can be that they are notemotionally available.
They're not emotionallyintelligent or aware or willing
to go there, to grow, to bethere.
But it can be simply thatthey're not ready.
They may be your perfect personand I've seen this happen a
(09:19):
number of times.
People really find theirperfect person, except they
forgot to put in ready.
If you're looking for somebodyto have a relationship with, you
want them to be ready, willingand able to do so.
That can be physical space,mental space, emotional space.
They need to be on a level withyou, at least I see.
Rose (09:43):
Okay, the other person being ready, gotcha, okay, yeah,
well, that's true too, right,not everybody's going to be
ready.
Heather (09:49):
There has to be this like synchronicity yeah.
Yeah, and when it works, it'sabsolutely amazing.
I had a hell of a week justbefore Christmas.
Two separate people that I'vebeen working with got engaged
(10:09):
and another one got married andengaged within the same week.
Oh wow, they'd been going toget married forever.
And so he said I probably thinkI ought to ask you.
And she said well, yeah, thatwould be nice.
Will you marry me?
Yes, when should we do it?
Next week?
Should we get engaged?
Rose (10:24):
Yes, why waste time?
Heather (10:28):
Yes, exactly.
So they did it really quickly.
Oh, wow, I was floating sojoyful.
So what else comes up in theprocess?
I might go on a bit here.
Is that okay?
Absolutely yes, please, okay.
So the second step is to look atwhat your life is like now, how
you're thinking, feeling andbehaving that in any way dims
(10:54):
you down or limits you.
We're looking at all of thecross currents to your intention
that are in your life.
So that can be something like Idon't know, you've got an old
agreement with an old lover thatyou will never love anybody but
them, or we'll come back whenwe're 60.
(11:15):
That was Catherine'soriginally.
Catherine devised the program.
That was her original one.
We'll come back when we're 60,when we've done our lives.
So it meant that everything inbetween was a bit sort of not
really quite there because heartand soul had said something
else 30 years ago.
So we look for those.
We look at sort of family oldagreements.
(11:37):
It could be like I'll neverhave somebody unless my sister
does, I'll never have more thanmy brother and if happy
relationship life is more thansomebody else, no, can't do
that.
There's all sorts of differentpromises we make I'll never
leave my mother, I'll neverleave my father.
Rose (11:58):
Those are big ones.
Heather (11:59):
Yeah, they are.
They're huge, yeah, yeah, oreven I'll never leave my
hometown.
Rose (12:06):
If you live in a hometown of 500 people, you're limiting
your pool I'd say so, yes,absolutely, wow, and so so these
are all uncovered in this, thisdiscovery phase of what
someone, someone's potential tofind somebody.
Heather (12:26):
Yes, that's the first piece.
There's toxic ties andresentments.
We also address those.
If you've got resentments foranything, it generally means
because you haven't been sayingsomething truthful, you've been
holding back on saying somethingand maybe it's not safe.
You know and you can choosewhether you speak about it.
(12:48):
But also you choose if you'regoing to continue to invest in
any relationship which createsresentment in you.
So if you're being bullied atwork and you're in a powerless
position, you might choose to goand get another job where the
culture is, rather than saysomething to your boss, who may
(13:10):
then bully you further.
It's the broader bits of life.
Um, the toxic ties are thedraining relationships in your
life, situations orrelationships.
So it'll be the person thatalways sort of makes you feel
guilty if you don't look afterthem, or the one who shits you
(13:33):
or undermines you when you'rebeing successful, the envious,
jealous people.
Rose (13:39):
you know, yeah, right, and you want to be looking for
people in your life that arewarm like radiators yes, I think
toxic relationships areprobably experienced by many
people and they may not evenrealize it when they're in it.
I think that's the sad part itis.
Heather (13:57):
It's very sad.
Um, one of my podcastsaddresses that how to know if
you're in a toxic relationship.
There's lots about gaslightingand love bombing and all of that
for romantic relationships, butthere is also that application
to any kind of relationship.
Rose (14:14):
Yeah, and you talk about dimming your light and what
limits you.
A lot of these relationships dojust that.
Yeah, they do, and it could berelationships also with other
people that you.
It's not just romantic, butwhen you teach someone these
tools, they can apply them toany parts of their lives.
Like you said, job or social,or friends that may not be
supporting you as you are tryingto find your one true love and
(14:39):
they're also holding you back.
So you have them.
You want to please, and alsoyourself, so you have a pool of
these people who are in your waythey are, they they take away
from that direct, intentionalcurrent, sure, pulling you off
your path.
Heather (14:56):
Um, so the the third step is going deeper in and it's
looking at where, all of theways that you dim your light or
give way to others, or don't putyourself first, or don't
champion yourself, as you mightanother person we look at all of
those ways and where they comefrom, where your original trauma
(15:20):
was emotional trauma so theseare all the steps involved in
calling in the one no, that's upto step three.
Okay, sorry, but that's gettingto the roots of things.
And then we really turn ourlight towards the future and
really go deep into what youwant, the new skills that you
might want in order to be thefull you that you want to bring
(15:44):
to a relationship.
So we look at and it's a deepmeditative process what you
might want to contribute to ourtrue love, what you might want
to receive, what you care abouttogether, what you're creating
together and what your valuesare, how you are in the world.
Really deepen into all of thatso that, in the true vision of
(16:08):
who you are in, thatrelationship is who you start to
be, without so much of thecross currents from the past,
you can start to live into yourfull stature.
We start to walk the talk ofthe theory we've been looking at
(16:28):
and there's a lot of support inthat, because that's quite a
quite a big change, becauseyou're stepping out of an
identity of who you thought youwere up until this point, you're
embodying some somebody newyeah, you are.
It's very powerful because thetraumas can happen not just in
babyhood, it can happen inschool.
You know, if you get a fierceteacher who makes you dim your
(16:51):
light, or other kids don't likeyou for some reason, I don't
know, you've got dark hair inthe wrong blonde class, you know
it doesn't matter.
I mean, race comes into thisand culture comes into it, all
sorts of things and and theother thing just as an aside.
But really important is wherepeople have had to leave a
(17:15):
country that was their originalhomeland or their parents have.
There's a fundamentaldisconnect that's happened on an
emotional level.
It's sort of leaving yourmother and father land and
leaving your mother and fathertongue, and that has a sort of
(17:36):
almost pre-birth trauma thatcomes through with you.
So all of those things canaffect you up to that point.
So they're big.
Calling in the one sounds afrivolous title.
It's one of the most meaningfulpieces of work I ever do with
anybody.
Rose (17:50):
It's profound wow, and it's you're not calling.
Now that I hear the name againfrom you and listening so far of
all the steps, it's not callingin the person, it's, it's
calling in yourself yeah, that'sthe first bit, that's the core
bit.
Heather (18:08):
Quite often when I'm working with people, they'll
have a break and say, hang on aminute, I need to move house and
I'm going to get that job, andthey'll start doing different
things.
They'll start to live better.
So we'll have a pause in thethe sort of focus on dating and
really support them to grow intothemselves.
They'll get a different image.
They'll have the head, youknow.
(18:29):
All sorts of things happen.
Rose (18:32):
Wow, that's amazing.
I love that transformation,right yeah.
Heather (18:36):
Yeah, they even walk differently, of course.
Rose (18:39):
I mean, you just feel better about yourself and your
body changes, you know, and themessage that you're feeling
innately and in your soulchanges.
I love this.
This is amazing work.
Heather (18:50):
Wow, I want to hear more you're radiant, you just
exude attraction and differentqualities of people will be
attracted to you and differentopportunities arise.
Sometimes obstacles arise too,because it this, this step, you
(19:14):
know it brings up everything.
This step in your life, thiswhole program brings up
everything you need to deal withto really be fully you.
So things will.
I mean maybe your relationshipwith money will start to change.
I love it.
I love it.
People start businesses.
You know all sorts of thingshappen yeah, that's that's.
Rose (19:36):
Do you work?
I know you're going to talkmore about it, but do you work
with various age groups?
Yeah, yeah.
Heather (19:43):
I could see this yeah yeah, um, I think the youngest
person I've worked with was 1819.
Yes, I think, um, this is a wayof not actually learning
through experience.
You can learn through doingthis work, so you don't have to
have five years in onerelationship or five months in
one relationship.
Rose (20:03):
Of the wrong relationship.
Heather (20:05):
Yeah, and go through all the emotional turmoil of
attachment and all of that.
Rose (20:09):
Right, right, right.
Well, I wish you were aroundyears ago, but you're here now
and you're helping a lot ofpeople, so this is amazing work.
Thank you, it is.
I love it.
I love it.
Heather (20:19):
So the last two steps are about learning the new
skills, learning new ways ofbeing and letting go, really
focusing on what do I need tolet go of?
We refresh everything.
So you look and looking around,you look at your environment,
you get rid of old love lettersand you know old wedding rings.
Rose (20:40):
Yes, all the things that hold on to that energy, that
past, that I still do, that Icome across things from
relationships I'm like okay,it's got to go.
Heather (20:49):
Yep, yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree.
And then we look at if thereare disappointments along the
way.
How are you going to handlethem?
Because the old identity, whentripped up in a disappointment
in love, will go back to one ofthe core beliefs that you might
have I'm not good enough, I'mnot important, I don't belong.
(21:12):
It happens for other people,not for me.
Rose (21:16):
Nobody loves me.
Heather (21:17):
Yeah which is essentially yeah, a disempowered
place, a victim stance.
While you're in that, you'repowerless.
So, okay, you may fall intothat.
You'd be superhuman if youdidn't.
So you fall into that, but thenyou learn the way through it,
which is to ask yourself moreempowered questions and to tell
(21:38):
yourself the truth about who youreally are.
So the truth is actually, I'm avery attractive, capable woman
in the world.
I've had some really goodrelationships.
I have good people around me.
This relationship wasn't a goodfit.
And I always say you know, ifsomebody ghosts you, thank them
(22:02):
because they've just ruledthemselves out, absolutely First
level respect.
No, thank you very much, thankyou and good night.
And if you're on the datingapps, block them because you
don't want them coming back.
Rose (22:14):
And if you're on the dating apps, block them because
you don't want them coming back.
They've burned their boats.
Yeah, because they do comeback.
That's the pattern.
Yeah, yeah, going through thesesteps.
This is great, this is a greatframework.
Heather (22:28):
Yes, it's written as a book so you can do it yourself
as a workbook, and that's great.
Do it with friends, you know,with a like-minded friends that
are committed to you.
You need people of like mindand similar intention.
But I think, if you're shiftingidentity, if you want to make
some deep and lasting change,when I would say this, but it is
(22:49):
true, I think you need someholding and you need somebody
who's a few more steps ahead ofyou.
On the trip over a stone,they'll say that's just the
stone, it's not a big rock faceyou've got to climb.
Rose (23:02):
You know, it's all familiar ground and this would,
and this would be you you'rereferring to yeah, of course, of
course yeah, I mean someonewith expertise and knows the
next steps and what to do, whatto say and if things come up,
that which things come up, thatyou know how to handle that
(23:24):
Right.
Yeah, it's a safe environmentand yeah, yeah, and you have so
many, so many years of being apsychotherapist so many years of
being a psychotherapist youalso understand just the whole
process in general.
It's not like you just kind ofpull this out of thin air.
You have years of experience onhow to deal with different
situations.
(23:45):
This is nothing new for you.
Heather (23:47):
Yeah, of course it's true, I do, and there are lots
of people just settingthemselves up as dating coaches
without any training orexperience.
You can do a sort of weekendcourse and call yourself a love
coach.
You don't even have to do that.
The calling in the one trainingwas six months long and it took
(24:10):
about half a week every week todo all the work involved in it.
That's a commitment, it's deepgravitas.
Rose (24:17):
Yeah, and also you love it.
I could tell that it's, it'svery rewarding for you because
you're helping people findtheir, their love right.
At least.
It could be the love thatthey're going to have the rest
of their life, or the love thatthey're going to have for a
while, it's whatever whatever itis supposed to be for them.
Heather (24:42):
Yeah, absolutely, and if there's a one for a while,
then there's something learningto be done there.
Sure, and I don't.
Once they're in a relationship,I don't just abandon them.
No, I will continue supportingpeople for however long it takes
yeah, you know a relationshipis defined differently by
everybody.
Rose (25:00):
You know we see romantic relationships and all this
stuff, but then there's therelationships that are really
close, but you know they'redifferent.
The dynamics in allrelationships are very
different.
It's just knowing what you wantand also the tools that you're
teaching people, as they're inthese relationships.
They can continue to use thesetools right to help I don't want
(25:24):
to say define theirrelationship, but to help um,
explore relationships.
Yeah, yeah, keep keep evolvingit.
Yeah, keep evolving it, yeah.
Heather (25:34):
Yeah, because there will be things that come up.
There will always be things.
Whether it's the washing up youknow how people stack the
dishwasher there will always bethose little trigger points of
difference.
Even if you're the mostharmonious, well-matched couple,
there will always be somethingto stub your toe on.
So you learn how to managethose.
(25:54):
You learn how to manage those.
You learn how to manageconflict.
Yeah, you learn how to deepenand create trust and commitment
together yeah, yeah, and tospeak your voice when things
come up.
Rose (26:07):
Yeah, not dim your light.
I think that's importantbecause I think women have a
tendency of doing that.
Women, I have a harder timereally expressing what they want
in anything, or at least maybenot women today, but I know a
lot of women who have Even womentoday, as emancipated and
(26:27):
empowered as we are, still willfind it hard at times not to
fall into the traditional roleof being accommodating.
Heather (26:36):
We're the natural empaths of the world.
We're the oil in the machine tomix my metaphors.
So it's so easy for us just torun around all the moving parts
of masculinity.
That's a bit dodgy, but youknow what I mean.
Yeah, of course, and it's stilla work in progress for us all
(26:58):
to keep on empowering ourselvesand sharing with our friends.
So we know what it is we wantto say Staying true to
ourselves.
Rose (27:08):
Yeah, we can finish talking about calling in the
one, but I do want to make surewe do talk about conscious
uncoupling as well, because Ithink that this is also a topic
that's very important.
Heather (27:20):
So I do work as well, using conscious uncoupling, and
I help people separate fromrelationships that are on their
course.
It's not necessarily thatthey're toxic, it's just that
they've worn out.
They've worn out, they may havefallen out of love.
They may have started to wantto live.
(27:41):
Sometimes people who met veryyoung suddenly realize at the
age of 35, 40, there's a wholeother unlived life that they
didn't do in their teens andwant to do again.
Rose (27:50):
And that can be either gender, yeah, and everybody in
between, yeah so this process ofconscious uncoupling, it's just
a whole nother process ofidentifying whether or why you
want to uncouple.
Can you talk a little bit moreabout that?
(28:12):
Yes, I can.
So yes, we'll explore why youwant to uncouple.
Heather (28:14):
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
Yes, I can.
So, yes, we'll explore why youwant to uncouple, what you
really want.
So if you want to end up havinga cooperative relationship with
your ex because you've gotchildren or business or
something, we'll aim towardsthat.
The process is generallyworking with one person, because
(28:37):
there's generally one personwho is more geared towards
evolving themselves and growingand that's quite often why
people stop their relationshipsbecause somebody isn't in a
growth mindset and somebody is.
So we'll look at what wentwrong, what were the turning
points, how you may have behavedthat dimmed your light.
(28:59):
It's almost like the step two ofcalling in.
The one is on steroids all theway through conscious uncoupling
and again, you know we'll,we'll look at the roots.
So you do that core piece ofwork and then there's a piece
for clearing the air.
(29:20):
If it's safe to talk to yourex-partner, there'll be a space
for having a proper ceremony ofseparation and clear honesty
about what's gone on andcreating an intention for what
the two of you want for thefuture.
And the last piece is okay.
And what do you wantindependently for your future?
(29:42):
What sort of love relationshipdo you want in the future.
What more do you want in yourlife from having come back to
you and grown into that glowingpart of you?
It's really dealing with allthe unfinished business from the
relationship and from yourheritage and growing up and
(30:04):
using the breakup to reallyallow you to grow and create
something good with them, or tocreate a really clean separation
with them so everybody knowswhere they stand.
And it really aims for you notto spend a lot of money on
lawyers because you will befighting it out from that
(30:25):
unresolved part of yourself.
So when we have a breakup,we're three years old all over
again.
You don't want to be arguingfrom that place.
It just racks you up hugebills, alienates you from your
soon to be ex-partner and getsthe kids caught in the
crossfire.
So we don't want you spendingall your money that you're going
to need to create your futurelife.
(30:46):
Nor do we want you harming youremotional life of your kids by
them getting caught in themiddle.
Rose (30:54):
Hmm, wow, it's almost as if everybody should go through
this process before they even godown the lawyer and divorce
path.
Because, you're right, I mean,it's so emotional, it's raw,
there's a lot of inner childthat comes out wounds.
It's a battle.
(31:14):
Yes, that comes out wounds,it's a battle.
You're going into it with abattle and you're not healing
through the process.
Heather (31:22):
Yeah, exactly that.
And it could continue for yearsand create a legacy for your
children.
And the other thing is thelegal system is set up for it to
be a battle.
They make their money from itbeing a battle.
They've got a vested interestin it being a battle.
They've got a vested interestin it being a battle.
Rose (31:38):
Yeah yeah, it is very sad.
I know people who are goingthrough that and it's it's
terrible, it's just umunfortunate for everyone
involved.
Wow, this has been uh amazing.
The work that you're doing istruly amazing and very
eye-opening for me, I mean.
I think this is something thateveryone needs to consider, as
(32:03):
far as just knowing more aboutthemselves, calling in the one
to help identify what theirvalues are and what they're
looking for in life in general.
Right, because, yeah, we canall benefit from this.
Is there anything else that youwanted to add, heather?
Heather (32:20):
before we wrap things up, I'm just going to do a
little invocation, if you don'tmind Not at all.
So I use the word universe.
I hope other people don't mindthat.
Dearest universe, it is myheartfelt wish that anybody
(32:41):
hearing our recording finds thetrue, deep, respectful,
committed love that they want,or separates well with dignity
and calm respect, or separateswell with dignity and calm
respect.
And I ask this for the good ofall concerned, and I'm most
(33:03):
especially grateful for Rose forinviting me here today and
allowing me to spread the wordof this amazing work.
Thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you.
Rose (33:18):
That was lovely.
You're very, very welcome.
Thank you for joining me onChat Off The Mat.
If you're ready to transformyour energy and step into your
fullest potential, I'd love towork with you.
As an energy alchemist, I helpwomen release blocked energy and
reclaim their vibrant essence.
Visit rosewipichcom to exploreworking together and discover
free resources for your journey.
(33:39):
Love today's episode.
Subscribe wherever you get yourpodcasts, leave a rating and
share your biggest takeaway withme on Instagram at Rose Wipich.
Remember wellness warriors.
Your energy is precious.
Nurture it wisely.
Ready to unlock your most vibrant, authentic self?
Welcome to Chat Off The Matwhere holistic wellness meets
practical wisdom andextraordinary transformation.
I'm your host, Rose Wippich.
I'm a Qigong instructor, yogateacher and a Reiki Master, so
get ready for inspiringconversations with wellness
(00:21):
experts who understand yourunique journey, plus practical
tools for energy healing, lifetransitions and conscious and
soulful living.
Your journey to radiantwellness starts now.
Let's create magic together.
A world-renowned psychotherapistand coach specializing in love
(00:42):
and relationships, HeatherGarbutt, brings swift and
effective change to peoplestruggling in their romantic
life.
Her hybrid model blendedcoaching, psychotherapy,
visioning and inner child workprovides deep and permanent
results for her clients.
She shines a light on thechallenges and solutions to
healthy relating how to healpast hurts and gives powerful
tools to transform unhelpfulthoughts, emotions and behaviors
(01:06):
to create a richer and happierlove life.
Heather is on a mission and hascreated an evolutionary wave of
change and love relationshipsworldwide, with the goal of
empowering 10 million people tocreate true, loving, mutually
supportive relationships.
Welcome, heather.
I'm so happy that you're here.
Thank you so much.
It's lovely to be with you,thank you.
Heather (01:28):
so tell us about heather I'm a love and
relationship coach.
I was a psychotherapist for 40odd years and I live in newbury
with my true love, who I calledin using the calling in the one
process.
I love dogs and we have a dogbetween us who is called Joy.
(01:53):
For years I had the mantra I'mgoing to be living in the light
with Joy, and she was named Joyas a rescue dog and came to us
named like that.
So there we go.
Rose (02:06):
So you talked about calling in the one.
Can you tell us about that?
That's part of your offeringsand what you share with others
who come to you for love andrelationship guidance.
Heather (02:19):
Yes, it's my favorite favorite program.
Rose (02:23):
I'm curling up my toes and doing this as I'm talking about
it, and I know the story on howyou manifested your love, so I
hope you share that as well.
Shall we start with that?
Absolutely, let's do that.
Heather (02:35):
Well, so I was divorced finally in 2013, having left my
husband in 2007.
2013, having left my husband in2007, and had a number of
unsatisfying relationships inbetween, I was really doing the
(02:59):
trial and error dating processand there were more trials and
errors than you could possiblyimagine.
Didn't work for me at all.
And on Valentine's Day, 2016, Iwoke up and I was really cross,
really frustrated and feelinglonely.
It was cold outside and I feltcold inside, really frustrated,
(03:22):
and I vowed to myself that Iwould never wake up alone on a
Valentine's Day again.
I would always wake up with mytrue love.
And by the next year that hadhappened.
And it happened because therewas an email dropped on my inbox
that morning which said do youwant to create a miracle in your
(03:45):
love life?
Rose (03:48):
Wow, is that not a good lead in that is so powerful?
Yes, it is.
How can you say no to that?
Heather (03:56):
Absolutely.
Oh, it was a massive yes.
I had to work out how to spendinternationally to sign up for
it, but I did really immediatelyand I did the Calling in the
Warm online course.
I met Ian while I was doingthat.
We really got together by theJuly, so I think it started in
(04:18):
the March.
We were really properlytogether by the July and the
rest is history.
Rose (04:24):
Wow, that's wonderful.
I love that.
So then you now, since thecalling in the one was so
successful for you, I'm sure youwere like well, I have to share
this with everyone else.
So how did that come about, howdid your, how did this work
come about for you?
Heather (04:43):
I did.
When I did the coaching formyself, I could see how fast,
deep and effective it was and Ijust wanted to train in it
myself.
So I did that unconsciousuncoupling, because sometimes
we've got stuff from previousrelationships either that are
just closing or closed a longtime ago and have left us
(05:03):
vulnerable, or closed a longtime ago and have left us
vulnerable.
But my real joy is calling inthe one because we go so fast,
so deep in such a holding way.
It's the most loving programI've ever come across and I
stopped doing psychotherapybecause this works so much
better.
It's a sort of future-focusedpsychotherapy.
Rose (05:27):
So now you have me and everyone else curious how does
that work?
Heather (05:32):
Well, initially, I mean, I'd never heard of an
intention in my life.
So first of all, you set anintention for what you really
really want.
And it's not just I want a manwho's five foot 10 with dark
hair and blue eyes.
You know, that's the shoppinglist kind of intention.
We go much deeper in beforethat is a sealed thing.
(05:55):
So we look at your values,what's important to you, and I
help tease all of that out.
If somebody says to you, whatare your values, you think,
well, I don't know really.
You know people will say thatto me, but I say, well, what
would be the qualities ofrelationship you would want?
And they'll come up with thingslike trust, respect, love,
(06:19):
affection, passion, sincerity,warmth, commitment, consistency,
all of those kind of things.
So when we set an intention,I've usually put a date on it,
but the universe has its owngood time.
But a date sort of helps youfocus.
So it might be something likeit's December 2027, and I have
(06:47):
grown to be my full and richself.
There's nothing in the way I ambeing me and he or she is being
him are together in the mostloving, trusting, committed,
lasting, warm, passionaterelationship.
(07:11):
We are the loves of eachother's lives and everything in
our life flows in an easy,relaxed and healthy way, and I
am so grateful, thank you.
You can feel the magnitude oh,absolutely it's a strong
(07:33):
intention yeah, it is.
It's a heart and soul intention.
It's not like a work goal.
You know I'll get a pay rise bythe end of the year.
You know, know, it's likereally strong.
Rose (07:45):
Yeah, you feel it in your soul.
Heather (07:50):
Yeah, you do, you do, and when I do it with people,
you can see we craft it togetherand then I write it all down
and then I read it back to them,like I've just said to you, and
you can see, and they can feelthe sort of whoomph of that you
know really strong in theirbody, which is what you need.
(08:13):
Things should be embodied,right?
So then what happens is we lookat the patterns you've had in
relationships there you go,they're bound to come up, you
know, and if they don't come upin the coaching, they'll come up
in who you meet.
So you may as well learn it inthe coaching, because you don't
(08:33):
want to have to go through threemonths here and six months
there of trial and error datingbefore you really find out who
your true person is.
It can be choosing people whoare unavailable.
That's the most common patternand that can mean live so far
away it's never going to be agoer or you have more of a
relationship with your car or anairport than you do with them.
(08:57):
It can be that they're involvedwith somebody else that they're
never going to leave.
It can be that they are notemotionally available.
They're not emotionallyintelligent or aware or willing
to go there, to grow, to bethere.
But it can be simply thatthey're not ready.
They may be your perfect personand I've seen this happen a
(09:19):
number of times.
People really find theirperfect person, except they
forgot to put in ready.
If you're looking for somebodyto have a relationship with, you
want them to be ready, willingand able to do so.
That can be physical space,mental space, emotional space.
They need to be on a level withyou, at least I see.
Rose (09:43):
Okay, the other person being ready, gotcha, okay, yeah,
well, that's true too, right,not everybody's going to be
ready.
Heather (09:49):
There has to be this like synchronicity yeah.
Yeah, and when it works, it'sabsolutely amazing.
I had a hell of a week justbefore Christmas.
Two separate people that I'vebeen working with got engaged
(10:09):
and another one got married andengaged within the same week.
Oh wow, they'd been going toget married forever.
And so he said I probably thinkI ought to ask you.
And she said well, yeah, thatwould be nice.
Will you marry me?
Yes, when should we do it?
Next week?
Should we get engaged?
Rose (10:24):
Yes, why waste time?
Heather (10:28):
Yes, exactly.
So they did it really quickly.
Oh, wow, I was floating sojoyful.
So what else comes up in theprocess?
I might go on a bit here.
Is that okay?
Absolutely yes, please, okay.
So the second step is to look atwhat your life is like now, how
you're thinking, feeling andbehaving that in any way dims
(10:54):
you down or limits you.
We're looking at all of thecross currents to your intention
that are in your life.
So that can be something like Idon't know, you've got an old
agreement with an old lover thatyou will never love anybody but
them, or we'll come back whenwe're 60.
(11:15):
That was Catherine'soriginally.
Catherine devised the program.
That was her original one.
We'll come back when we're 60,when we've done our lives.
So it meant that everything inbetween was a bit sort of not
really quite there because heartand soul had said something
else 30 years ago.
So we look for those.
We look at sort of family oldagreements.
(11:37):
It could be like I'll neverhave somebody unless my sister
does, I'll never have more thanmy brother and if happy
relationship life is more thansomebody else, no, can't do
that.
There's all sorts of differentpromises we make I'll never
leave my mother, I'll neverleave my father.
Rose (11:58):
Those are big ones.
Heather (11:59):
Yeah, they are.
They're huge, yeah, yeah, oreven I'll never leave my
hometown.
Rose (12:06):
If you live in a hometown of 500 people, you're limiting
your pool I'd say so, yes,absolutely, wow, and so so these
are all uncovered in this, thisdiscovery phase of what
someone, someone's potential tofind somebody.
Heather (12:26):
Yes, that's the first piece.
There's toxic ties andresentments.
We also address those.
If you've got resentments foranything, it generally means
because you haven't been sayingsomething truthful, you've been
holding back on saying somethingand maybe it's not safe.
You know and you can choosewhether you speak about it.
(12:48):
But also you choose if you'regoing to continue to invest in
any relationship which createsresentment in you.
So if you're being bullied atwork and you're in a powerless
position, you might choose to goand get another job where the
culture is, rather than saysomething to your boss, who may
(13:10):
then bully you further.
It's the broader bits of life.
Um, the toxic ties are thedraining relationships in your
life, situations orrelationships.
So it'll be the person thatalways sort of makes you feel
guilty if you don't look afterthem, or the one who shits you
(13:33):
or undermines you when you'rebeing successful, the envious,
jealous people.
Rose (13:39):
you know, yeah, right, and you want to be looking for
people in your life that arewarm like radiators yes, I think
toxic relationships areprobably experienced by many
people and they may not evenrealize it when they're in it.
I think that's the sad part itis.
Heather (13:57):
It's very sad.
Um, one of my podcastsaddresses that how to know if
you're in a toxic relationship.
There's lots about gaslightingand love bombing and all of that
for romantic relationships, butthere is also that application
to any kind of relationship.
Rose (14:14):
Yeah, and you talk about dimming your light and what
limits you.
A lot of these relationships dojust that.
Yeah, they do, and it could berelationships also with other
people that you.
It's not just romantic, butwhen you teach someone these
tools, they can apply them toany parts of their lives.
Like you said, job or social,or friends that may not be
supporting you as you are tryingto find your one true love and
(14:39):
they're also holding you back.
So you have them.
You want to please, and alsoyourself, so you have a pool of
these people who are in your waythey are, they they take away
from that direct, intentionalcurrent, sure, pulling you off
your path.
Heather (14:56):
Um, so the the third step is going deeper in and it's
looking at where, all of theways that you dim your light or
give way to others, or don't putyourself first, or don't
champion yourself, as you mightanother person we look at all of
those ways and where they comefrom, where your original trauma
(15:20):
was emotional trauma so theseare all the steps involved in
calling in the one no, that's upto step three.
Okay, sorry, but that's gettingto the roots of things.
And then we really turn ourlight towards the future and
really go deep into what youwant, the new skills that you
might want in order to be thefull you that you want to bring
(15:44):
to a relationship.
So we look at and it's a deepmeditative process what you
might want to contribute to ourtrue love, what you might want
to receive, what you care abouttogether, what you're creating
together and what your valuesare, how you are in the world.
Really deepen into all of thatso that, in the true vision of
(16:08):
who you are in, thatrelationship is who you start to
be, without so much of thecross currents from the past,
you can start to live into yourfull stature.
We start to walk the talk ofthe theory we've been looking at
(16:28):
and there's a lot of support inthat, because that's quite a
quite a big change, becauseyou're stepping out of an
identity of who you thought youwere up until this point, you're
embodying some somebody newyeah, you are.
It's very powerful because thetraumas can happen not just in
babyhood, it can happen inschool.
You know, if you get a fierceteacher who makes you dim your
(16:51):
light, or other kids don't likeyou for some reason, I don't
know, you've got dark hair inthe wrong blonde class, you know
it doesn't matter.
I mean, race comes into thisand culture comes into it, all
sorts of things and and theother thing just as an aside.
But really important is wherepeople have had to leave a
(17:15):
country that was their originalhomeland or their parents have.
There's a fundamentaldisconnect that's happened on an
emotional level.
It's sort of leaving yourmother and father land and
leaving your mother and fathertongue, and that has a sort of
(17:36):
almost pre-birth trauma thatcomes through with you.
So all of those things canaffect you up to that point.
So they're big.
Calling in the one sounds afrivolous title.
It's one of the most meaningfulpieces of work I ever do with
anybody.
Rose (17:50):
It's profound wow, and it's you're not calling.
Now that I hear the name againfrom you and listening so far of
all the steps, it's not callingin the person, it's, it's
calling in yourself yeah, that'sthe first bit, that's the core
bit.
Heather (18:08):
Quite often when I'm working with people, they'll
have a break and say, hang on aminute, I need to move house and
I'm going to get that job, andthey'll start doing different
things.
They'll start to live better.
So we'll have a pause in thethe sort of focus on dating and
really support them to grow intothemselves.
They'll get a different image.
They'll have the head, youknow.
(18:29):
All sorts of things happen.
Rose (18:32):
Wow, that's amazing.
I love that transformation,right yeah.
Heather (18:36):
Yeah, they even walk differently, of course.
Rose (18:39):
I mean, you just feel better about yourself and your
body changes, you know, and themessage that you're feeling
innately and in your soulchanges.
I love this.
This is amazing work.
Heather (18:50):
Wow, I want to hear more you're radiant, you just
exude attraction and differentqualities of people will be
attracted to you and differentopportunities arise.
Sometimes obstacles arise too,because it this, this step, you
(19:14):
know it brings up everything.
This step in your life, thiswhole program brings up
everything you need to deal withto really be fully you.
So things will.
I mean maybe your relationshipwith money will start to change.
I love it.
I love it.
People start businesses.
You know all sorts of thingshappen yeah, that's that's.
Rose (19:36):
Do you work?
I know you're going to talkmore about it, but do you work
with various age groups?
Yeah, yeah.
Heather (19:43):
I could see this yeah yeah, um, I think the youngest
person I've worked with was 1819.
Yes, I think, um, this is a wayof not actually learning
through experience.
You can learn through doingthis work, so you don't have to
have five years in onerelationship or five months in
one relationship.
Rose (20:03):
Of the wrong relationship.
Heather (20:05):
Yeah, and go through all the emotional turmoil of
attachment and all of that.
Rose (20:09):
Right, right, right.
Well, I wish you were aroundyears ago, but you're here now
and you're helping a lot ofpeople, so this is amazing work.
Thank you, it is.
I love it.
I love it.
Heather (20:19):
So the last two steps are about learning the new
skills, learning new ways ofbeing and letting go, really
focusing on what do I need tolet go of?
We refresh everything.
So you look and looking around,you look at your environment,
you get rid of old love lettersand you know old wedding rings.
Rose (20:40):
Yes, all the things that hold on to that energy, that
past, that I still do, that Icome across things from
relationships I'm like okay,it's got to go.
Heather (20:49):
Yep, yeah, yeah, I agree, I agree.
And then we look at if thereare disappointments along the
way.
How are you going to handlethem?
Because the old identity, whentripped up in a disappointment
in love, will go back to one ofthe core beliefs that you might
have I'm not good enough, I'mnot important, I don't belong.
(21:12):
It happens for other people,not for me.
Rose (21:16):
Nobody loves me.
Heather (21:17):
Yeah which is essentially yeah, a disempowered
place, a victim stance.
While you're in that, you'repowerless.
So, okay, you may fall intothat.
You'd be superhuman if youdidn't.
So you fall into that, but thenyou learn the way through it,
which is to ask yourself moreempowered questions and to tell
(21:38):
yourself the truth about who youreally are.
So the truth is actually, I'm avery attractive, capable woman
in the world.
I've had some really goodrelationships.
I have good people around me.
This relationship wasn't a goodfit.
And I always say you know, ifsomebody ghosts you, thank them
(22:02):
because they've just ruledthemselves out, absolutely First
level respect.
No, thank you very much, thankyou and good night.
And if you're on the datingapps, block them because you
don't want them coming back.
Rose (22:14):
And if you're on the dating apps, block them because
you don't want them coming back.
They've burned their boats.
Yeah, because they do comeback.
That's the pattern.
Yeah, yeah, going through thesesteps.
This is great, this is a greatframework.
Heather (22:28):
Yes, it's written as a book so you can do it yourself
as a workbook, and that's great.
Do it with friends, you know,with a like-minded friends that
are committed to you.
You need people of like mindand similar intention.
But I think, if you're shiftingidentity, if you want to make
some deep and lasting change,when I would say this, but it is
(22:49):
true, I think you need someholding and you need somebody
who's a few more steps ahead ofyou.
On the trip over a stone,they'll say that's just the
stone, it's not a big rock faceyou've got to climb.
Rose (23:02):
You know, it's all familiar ground and this would,
and this would be you you'rereferring to yeah, of course, of
course yeah, I mean someonewith expertise and knows the
next steps and what to do, whatto say and if things come up,
that which things come up, thatyou know how to handle that
(23:24):
Right.
Yeah, it's a safe environmentand yeah, yeah, and you have so
many, so many years of being apsychotherapist so many years of
being a psychotherapist youalso understand just the whole
process in general.
It's not like you just kind ofpull this out of thin air.
You have years of experience onhow to deal with different
situations.
(23:45):
This is nothing new for you.
Heather (23:47):
Yeah, of course it's true, I do, and there are lots
of people just settingthemselves up as dating coaches
without any training orexperience.
You can do a sort of weekendcourse and call yourself a love
coach.
You don't even have to do that.
The calling in the one trainingwas six months long and it took
(24:10):
about half a week every week todo all the work involved in it.
That's a commitment, it's deepgravitas.
Rose (24:17):
Yeah, and also you love it.
I could tell that it's, it'svery rewarding for you because
you're helping people findtheir, their love right.
At least.
It could be the love thatthey're going to have the rest
of their life, or the love thatthey're going to have for a
while, it's whatever whatever itis supposed to be for them.
Heather (24:42):
Yeah, absolutely, and if there's a one for a while,
then there's something learningto be done there.
Sure, and I don't.
Once they're in a relationship,I don't just abandon them.
No, I will continue supportingpeople for however long it takes
yeah, you know a relationshipis defined differently by
everybody.
Rose (25:00):
You know we see romantic relationships and all this
stuff, but then there's therelationships that are really
close, but you know they'redifferent.
The dynamics in allrelationships are very
different.
It's just knowing what you wantand also the tools that you're
teaching people, as they're inthese relationships.
They can continue to use thesetools right to help I don't want
(25:24):
to say define theirrelationship, but to help um,
explore relationships.
Yeah, yeah, keep keep evolvingit.
Yeah, keep evolving it, yeah.
Heather (25:34):
Yeah, because there will be things that come up.
There will always be things.
Whether it's the washing up youknow how people stack the
dishwasher there will always bethose little trigger points of
difference.
Even if you're the mostharmonious, well-matched couple,
there will always be somethingto stub your toe on.
So you learn how to managethose.
(25:54):
You learn how to manage those.
You learn how to manageconflict.
Yeah, you learn how to deepenand create trust and commitment
together yeah, yeah, and tospeak your voice when things
come up.
Rose (26:07):
Yeah, not dim your light.
I think that's importantbecause I think women have a
tendency of doing that.
Women, I have a harder timereally expressing what they want
in anything, or at least maybenot women today, but I know a
lot of women who have Even womentoday, as emancipated and
(26:27):
empowered as we are, still willfind it hard at times not to
fall into the traditional roleof being accommodating.
Heather (26:36):
We're the natural empaths of the world.
We're the oil in the machine tomix my metaphors.
So it's so easy for us just torun around all the moving parts
of masculinity.
That's a bit dodgy, but youknow what I mean.
Yeah, of course, and it's stilla work in progress for us all
(26:58):
to keep on empowering ourselvesand sharing with our friends.
So we know what it is we wantto say Staying true to
ourselves.
Rose (27:08):
Yeah, we can finish talking about calling in the
one, but I do want to make surewe do talk about conscious
uncoupling as well, because Ithink that this is also a topic
that's very important.
Heather (27:20):
So I do work as well, using conscious uncoupling, and
I help people separate fromrelationships that are on their
course.
It's not necessarily thatthey're toxic, it's just that
they've worn out.
They've worn out, they may havefallen out of love.
They may have started to wantto live.
(27:41):
Sometimes people who met veryyoung suddenly realize at the
age of 35, 40, there's a wholeother unlived life that they
didn't do in their teens andwant to do again.
Rose (27:50):
And that can be either gender, yeah, and everybody in
between, yeah so this process ofconscious uncoupling, it's just
a whole nother process ofidentifying whether or why you
want to uncouple.
Can you talk a little bit moreabout that?
(28:12):
Yes, I can.
So yes, we'll explore why youwant to uncouple.
Heather (28:14):
Can you talk a little bit more about that?
Yes, I can.
So, yes, we'll explore why youwant to uncouple, what you
really want.
So if you want to end up havinga cooperative relationship with
your ex because you've gotchildren or business or
something, we'll aim towardsthat.
The process is generallyworking with one person, because
(28:37):
there's generally one personwho is more geared towards
evolving themselves and growingand that's quite often why
people stop their relationshipsbecause somebody isn't in a
growth mindset and somebody is.
So we'll look at what wentwrong, what were the turning
points, how you may have behavedthat dimmed your light.
(28:59):
It's almost like the step two ofcalling in.
The one is on steroids all theway through conscious uncoupling
and again, you know we'll,we'll look at the roots.
So you do that core piece ofwork and then there's a piece
for clearing the air.
(29:20):
If it's safe to talk to yourex-partner, there'll be a space
for having a proper ceremony ofseparation and clear honesty
about what's gone on andcreating an intention for what
the two of you want for thefuture.
And the last piece is okay.
And what do you wantindependently for your future?
(29:42):
What sort of love relationshipdo you want in the future.
What more do you want in yourlife from having come back to
you and grown into that glowingpart of you?
It's really dealing with allthe unfinished business from the
relationship and from yourheritage and growing up and
(30:04):
using the breakup to reallyallow you to grow and create
something good with them, or tocreate a really clean separation
with them so everybody knowswhere they stand.
And it really aims for you notto spend a lot of money on
lawyers because you will befighting it out from that
(30:25):
unresolved part of yourself.
So when we have a breakup,we're three years old all over
again.
You don't want to be arguingfrom that place.
It just racks you up hugebills, alienates you from your
soon to be ex-partner and getsthe kids caught in the
crossfire.
So we don't want you spendingall your money that you're going
to need to create your futurelife.
(30:46):
Nor do we want you harming youremotional life of your kids by
them getting caught in themiddle.
Rose (30:54):
Hmm, wow, it's almost as if everybody should go through
this process before they even godown the lawyer and divorce
path.
Because, you're right, I mean,it's so emotional, it's raw,
there's a lot of inner childthat comes out wounds.
It's a battle.
(31:14):
Yes, that comes out wounds,it's a battle.
You're going into it with abattle and you're not healing
through the process.
Heather (31:22):
Yeah, exactly that.
And it could continue for yearsand create a legacy for your
children.
And the other thing is thelegal system is set up for it to
be a battle.
They make their money from itbeing a battle.
They've got a vested interestin it being a battle.
They've got a vested interestin it being a battle.
Rose (31:38):
Yeah yeah, it is very sad.
I know people who are goingthrough that and it's it's
terrible, it's just umunfortunate for everyone
involved.
Wow, this has been uh amazing.
The work that you're doing istruly amazing and very
eye-opening for me, I mean.
I think this is something thateveryone needs to consider, as
(32:03):
far as just knowing more aboutthemselves, calling in the one
to help identify what theirvalues are and what they're
looking for in life in general.
Right, because, yeah, we canall benefit from this.
Is there anything else that youwanted to add, heather?
Heather (32:20):
before we wrap things up, I'm just going to do a
little invocation, if you don'tmind Not at all.
So I use the word universe.
I hope other people don't mindthat.
Dearest universe, it is myheartfelt wish that anybody
(32:41):
hearing our recording finds thetrue, deep, respectful,
committed love that they want,or separates well with dignity
and calm respect, or separateswell with dignity and calm
respect.
And I ask this for the good ofall concerned, and I'm most
(33:03):
especially grateful for Rose forinviting me here today and
allowing me to spread the wordof this amazing work.
Thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you.
Rose (33:18):
That was lovely.
You're very, very welcome.
Thank you for joining me onChat Off The Mat.
If you're ready to transformyour energy and step into your
fullest potential, I'd love towork with you.
As an energy alchemist, I helpwomen release blocked energy and
reclaim their vibrant essence.
Visit rosewipichcom to exploreworking together and discover
free resources for your journey.
(33:39):
Love today's episode.
Subscribe wherever you get yourpodcasts, leave a rating and
share your biggest takeaway withme on Instagram at Rose Wipich.
Remember wellness warriors.
Your energy is precious.
Nurture it wisely.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Male Room with Dr. Jesse Mills
As Director of The Men’s Clinic at UCLA, Dr. Jesse Mills has spent his career helping men understand their bodies, their hormones, and their health. Now he’s bringing that expertise to The Male Room — a podcast where data-driven medicine meets common sense. Each episode separates fact from hype, science from snake oil, and gives men the tools to live longer, stronger, and happier lives. With candor, humor, and real-world experience from the exam room and the operating room, Dr. Mills breaks down the latest health headlines, dissects trends, and explains what actually works — and what doesn’t. Smart, straightforward, and entertaining, The Male Room is the show that helps men take charge of their health without the jargon.