September 22, 2025 • 29 mins
In this episode of Chocolate Chip & Sip, we’re keeping it real about modern dating from a Black girl perspective. From doing you without revenge, to wifely duties beyond cooking, to why intention is sexier than endless texts — we’re covering it all. Plus, we dive into the hard truth: sometimes closure is realizing they treated you exactly how they wanted to. Equal parts hilarious and heartfelt, this one’s for anyone who refuses to settle.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
What's that, beautiful people, it's your Girl's three repeat And
this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Sip.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And today, some of y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Think doing me means getting your lick back, and I'm
here to tell you there are other options. Because to me,
when I say I'm doing me, it means I'm blocking you.
I'm being blessed, all right, and it means I'm moving on.
So we're gonna divulge on an array of topics today,
(00:33):
everything from doing you without revenge, wifely duties beyond cooking,
intentional dating, and also closure with or without conversation. Now, first,
I hate when people say, oh, if you do you,
I'm gonna do me too, And as a woman, it
automatically means you.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Out here, sucking dick. How did we get here?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Like when I say, if you do you, I'm gonna
do me too. That don't mean I'm getting my look back.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That means I'm gonna leave your ass alone. If you
gonna do you.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I'm gonna do me too. And I don't mean get
my look back. I mean I'm gonna leave your ass alone.
I'm done, I'm tired. Doing you does not equal revenge.
It means you are prioritizing your peace, baby, and that's
the type of shit I'm on. It's power in walking away.
I don't have to sooop down to your level just
(01:26):
because you hurt me.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I'm not there no more.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Honestly, I done pay the lady too much money and
kopay is to do that shit again.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I'm not there at all.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I can't relate. I can't relate. That's not my life anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Baby. I'm too fine for you to treat me like
a black jelly bean. Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So if we're in the space where you're doing that
and I feel that and we're having conversation and it
isn't getting better, it's about to offer me to do me.
The best part about leaving somebody or doing you is
like that aftercare.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I mean that glow up.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
You ever stop dealing with somebody and then you start
drinking your water, you start eating right, you start going
to the gym. Face clear up, tell me, get flatter,
ask it fatter like bruh.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Sometimes you need a little bit of hurt to get
your life back on track.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Okay, I stand by this.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Depression is better than with GOVI okay, it's better than
ozimpic can get your feelings hurt the right way, baby.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I'll jump start your weight loss.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Okay, I am not promoting depression, but no, I'm just joking.
I just, I just I'm not doing revenge. Okay, I'm
just gonna reneg on this whole relationship. I'm a renegg
on this situationship. It's beneath me now and I don't
want to engage, like, I just gotta do better. Speaking
(02:44):
of doing better, it's a topic that keeps popping up
on the inner that and it really just it makes
me want to vomit.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Can we talk about wifely duties?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Don't be mad at me when we say this, because
you know we're friends, we love each other and have
healthy conversations. But I hate when y'all say I'm not
doing wifely duties for a man and it.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Just be cooking.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
What since when does wifely duties begin and in in
the kitchen?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Did I miss something?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Do we have a board meeting where when we talk
about doing wifely duties that automatically equates to cooking?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
That's it?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I feel like Alan Iverson when he be like practice.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Cooking, were talking about cooking.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
We're not talking about praying for a man reminded him
about annual checkups, so in that hole in his pants
that he ripped that work reminded him that his car
insurance is due on the fifteenth.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
We're not talking about none of that. We're talking about practice.
Were just talking about cooking. Now.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I can understand if you're the type of woman who
makes special spaghetti.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Okay, if you know.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
You know, cooking might be a little bit intimate, indifferent
for you.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I get that. I get that. I'm not talking about you,
but I get that.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I'm not talking about somebody who has a very you know,
most relationship with their family where cooking is how they're
bond and it's very inmate.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I'm not talking about y'all.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I'm talking about that woman who act like she can't
make that man a plate in her shrimp alfredo because
it's so good, and she done bought all the groceries
and he ain't did nothing because that's wifely duties.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
What about the husband duties?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
What if that man decided, you know what, I don't
want to pay for everything. I don't want to stand
on the outside of the curb in case a car
jumps the side.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Walking hits to both of us. It's an intruder in
the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And I don't want to protect you because that's husbandly duties.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Now here's the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
He gonna do all that for a girl who can't
even make him a plate of her out fright out.
I'm not talking about the turkey wings you done took
all day to marinateen, two hours to cook, three hours
to cook.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
That little ass hour meal that it took you twenty
seconds to throw together. Baby, Some women will tell you
they do not want to do wifely duties, but expect
their a man to do husband duties. Reciprocates. You have
to be willing to do one to get the other.
You have to reciprocate. Like I said before, if you
have a sentimental attachment to cooking, I get it, I understand, okay,
(05:15):
But if you're just doing it out of spite because
you still ain't got a ring, that's no way. Now
you act like you can only boil.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Pasta if you got a ring. Sis, it's not that deep.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
To some I'll say it's not that deep because, like
I said, some people have a larger attachment to it
to each its own. I say this with love and
a hit dog going holler. A majority of the women
who I see complaining that they don't want to cook
for a man because it's wifely duties are women who
can't cook. No shade to each your home. But that's
(05:50):
where a lot of the conversation be coming from. And honestly,
this is coming from a bit you used to not
be confident hoo cooking. Okay, I got the juice now,
but this is coming from a bitch who used to
not be confident in her cooking. And I was one
of the ones like I can't cook for a nigga. Yeah,
because I wasn't confident in cooking for a nigga, I
was there. I say it with love. Right, once you
(06:10):
get the flick of the wrist, you'll give fuck.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Once you get the flick of the rink, you don't care.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
It's it's not as the only thing I really want
you to take from this is the word of the
day is reciprocated. Listen, whether you can burn in the
kitchen or burn up his phone. Let's be honest, some
niggas still not gonna be able to plan a date
and That's another thing I want to talk about because
I'm in a few group chats and this just came
up a lot, so much so that it's concerning.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
At this point, fellows.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Y'all really out here texting and FaceTime and calling all
day and not.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Making all plans. The fuck is that?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Take me on a date within the first week or
leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I've had enough, The women have had enough.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I don't know who needs to hear this, but intention
over attentions.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I know it's a crazy concept. Hear me out.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Intention over attention. It's so simple, right, Attention is instant.
Intention is consistent. You see, you see, you see one
more time.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Attention is instant, Intention is consistent.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
It's a difference. Nobody want to get a what you
do in text all day? You don't like that, right,
So why do you think that woman likes that? If
you continue two three weeks without making a plan or
making a date, she's gonna think you just want to
play and waste her time. Ladies, if that man is
trying to make plans with you and it's been a week,
(07:40):
it's been two weeks, no shade. But there are a
lot of women who want to be in a.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Relationship sis, act like.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
It, Fellas, there are a lot of men that want
to be in a relationship, act like it. If you
have some hot shit on your phone, act like it,
and I'm a reasonable girl. Pay weeks might be off
all right. If you ain't got it this week, next
week works out a little.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Bit better for you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
It takes two seconds to say, hey, I'm a little
bit busy this week, but I would love to see you.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Are you free on X day, Y day, Z day?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
And she'll or he'll respond, yes, I am can't wait
to see you.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It's so easy. You like her, he like you. Make
plans done? Okay? Done?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Attention Is you just hitting her phone? You just hitting
his phone? Eventually that shit get played out, don't nobody
want no pen pal? Attention is a notification. Yeah, that
person hits you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Up on your line, huh.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Intention That person sits you plans, a calendar, invite, told
you where to be, what time, and how to dress.
That's what we want moving forward. Okay, gets the people going. Okay,
less attention, more intention. I'm gonna be real with y'all.
A lot of y'all not even good at tech. It's
(09:01):
what you're doing Lol, how was your day?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Good night? Good morning? Next day? What you're doing? Lol?
How is your day? Good night? Good morning? We're at
the next day. Like y'all don't even be.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Texting good enough to always want a text, Call me,
come see me in person, make a date to get
to know meat in person. That's when you're gonna find
out the heart shit. That's when you wanna find out
the good stuff. I can cart will I know about
various pods of orca. I can teach you how to
three D print some shit. You're messing out all the
(09:37):
good stuff. You can't get all this goodness through text. Baby,
you gotta see me in person so you can find
out how weird I am. Now. The key is you
don't let them know all a weariness right up front.
You gotta slow roll it out. But you get the
good stuff in person, is what I'm saying. With that
being said, sometimes the way Amen moves or doesn't move,
(10:03):
it's the exact closure you need. Sometimes closure is realizing
they treated you exactly how they wanted to. Yeah, he
she them we Sometimes closure is realizing he treated you
exactly the way he wanted to. Yeah, it wasn't a miscommunication.
It wasn't a mistake. Okay, it wasn't a misunderstanding. No,
(10:27):
he meant that, she meant that, they meant that. I
feel like sometimes we be chasing explanations from people who
already showed you their priorities. They know what they're doing
at this big age, Okay, at this big age, maybe
you know better. You know better, and you know what
(10:49):
I like to tell myself. I always like to say,
if this man was talking to Beyonce or Rihanna, would
he move like that?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And if my answer is a resounding no, good luck
on your journey. I don't want to keep having to
tell you how to treat me. What's expected. Baby, we
grown you know how to text, you know how to date,
you know how to communicate. And at the end of
the day, if it was Beyonce or Rihanna, would you
be moving that way? Shout out to those lovely black queens.
When someone loves you, you feel it, and when they don't,
(11:25):
you feel it. If we keep that in mind when
we interact with people, I think it would make the
dating pool a little bit better. I'm not gonna hold
y'all when y'all be talking about the dating pool got pissing.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
It can't relate.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Okay, the way my standards and boundaries are set up,
ain't nobody playing in my face?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Baby. Now.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Granted, every person that I run into is not going
to be the person for me, but I'm also not
gonna let them play in my face until I have
the strength to say I'm done, I'm good. You have
to have the strength to turn that hurt into a
lesson into a boundary.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
All Right.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
We have to stand up for ourselves, and when we do,
dating will become a lot more fun. So now we're
going to get into one of my favorite segments of
the show.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Somebody come look at this. Okay, this is.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
When we read amazing stories that we find on Reddit
that are freaking hilarious. First one, my boyfriend told me
his type, and now it's eating me alive. It says, Hi, there,
I'll admit this is kind of my own doing. Me
and my boyfriend are both open and honest people, especially
when it comes to our relationship, so I knew he'd
(12:41):
answered truthfully, but this thing has been eating me up.
A few days ago, we were on vacation and somehow
the topic of types came up. Now, how the fuck
did that happen? Okay, ken, we just take a pause
in the story. I would rather eat a jean jacket
than ask my significant other what their type is. And
(13:04):
I'm gonna tell you why. I'm not mature enough for
it not to be me. Okay, God forbid. We are
locked in, we are engaged, we got kids, we got properties,
and he.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Sit here and tell me I'm not his type.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
So either he's settling, he's trying some new shit, and
I'm an experiment, like these are horrible outcomes.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I'm never gonna ask my.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Person what their type is because I'm not mature enough
for it not.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
To be me.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I asked him what his type was, and he says
he prefers darker skinned women, or at least someone with
darker skin, so his kids wouldn't run the risk of
being lighter.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Why would you ask this. I'm a light skinned woman,
Jesus Christ, so hearing that really hurt.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Now I'm sitting here wondering if he even wants kids
with me, since by default they'd be light skin. I've
never cared about the skin tone of my future children,
so I just don't get where he's coming from with that.
I really love him, and we've never had any issues
before this.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
So now I just don't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I was honest with him too, I told him I
don't have a preference and that personality always jumps everything
for me. But unfortunately he didn't feel the same. And
now look at you, hurt?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Okay, look at you hurt? Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
This goes right up there with going through your significant
other's phone. What are you gonna do if you find
something that you don't like? Crying a car? And now
look at you, not his type crying in a car.
And today he told me that he used to Jesus Christ.
And today he told me that he used to pleasure
(14:53):
himself to celebrities like Billie Eilish, Cardi B Beyonce, I Spice,
Sidney Sweeney, and Rihanna. So now I'm really confused because
don't all of these women have light complexions?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I just don't get it. Let me ask you a question, right,
let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
So the conversation was already going bad where you wasn't
his type?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Right? Right? No? No, if you're watching, I don't want
you to answer me.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
The conversation was already going bad when you realize you
were not his type. You then took it a step
further and said, well, what do you pleasure yourself to?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
What type of porn do you like? What type of
celebrity crushes do you have?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Right? And he named all these white and light skinned women, right,
And you allowed that to confuse you, not realizing that's
just what get his dick wet. That's not what he
wants to be with forever. Don't let that confuse you.
He can rub one out to those women. Sure you
look like those women. That's not what he wants to
(15:56):
be with. That's not what he sees longevity with. That's
what he says fleshly's desires for. That's not longevity.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And I want to say to this man, to any man,
to any person, to any person, if your partner says,
what's your type?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
What do you like?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Okay, I don't care if you like a big foot
yetty my nigga, always say you're my type and I'm
so happy to have you. Boom boom boom. I don't
care if all the people you date it look nothing
like them, just say.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
You're my type. I'm so happy to have you.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Chad said, what happens if you guys have follow up questions,
there is no follow up questions. It always diverts back
to here we are right now together. A wise prophet
from one twelve one said, here we are all alone,
just you and me, privacy, okay, and we can do anything.
(17:01):
You're fantasy. I want to hear you scream my name.
That's all that matters. Okay, right here, right now, that's it.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I don't think it's lying. I think.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Some conversations don't need to be had, all right because
they don't concern you, they don't affect you. And if
you have a truly happy relationship, why are we tainting
it with nonsense. Sometimes people engage in self sabotage and
they don't realize it. I feel like both these people
did in this particular situation. Can we stop asking questions
(17:34):
we don't want the answers to? Long story short? Can
we stop asking questions we don't want the answer to?
Next one says her friend said, I wasn't as hot
as her ex, and she stayed silent. Last year, I
was dating someone I really liked, and I almost waited
for one year for her to say, yes, I'm not
(17:55):
the loudest guy or the flashiest, but I was all
in loyal real. One day while hanging out with her,
and she mentioned that her friends. One of her friends
left and said, he's not as attractive as your ex.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Though.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
One day, while hanging out with her and her see,
y'all can't write, and that'd be my problem. One day,
while hanging out with her, she mentioned that her friends
laughed and said he's not as attractive as your ex.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Though. I asked, well, what did you say? In return?
She just didn't say anything, no defense.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
You know, we just talked about this, asking questions you
don't really want the answer to, right, because what if
she would have looked you dead in your face.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
And said I laughed and said how now? Right now?
What now?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
What?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Now? What now? What? You know? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I don't know why she even had this conversation. Every
wan thing of like they had the conversation in front
of you, or you like overheard it, like or you
found it by accident. Why are we having this conversation?
I just okay, not even a I like him for.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Who he is. Just silence. Yes, that man wrote that.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
That's how you know he was hurt. That's how you
know he was hurt? Honestly, why are you telling him this?
What is the benefit in this conversation? Let me know
that moment stuck with me more than it should have.
I didn't say anything either, just smiled and took it.
But deep down something shifted. I realized I was choosing
(19:45):
her loudly while she was choosing me silently, or maybe
not at all.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I left that relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Even after that, she called me for free tickets that
I promised her along back.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I promised only one ticket. She asked for more I
didn't have.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I said I couldn't keep up the promise, and she
blocked me. I didn't spiral. Instead, I got up the
next morning and hit the gym. I started eating better,
sleeping earlier, fixed my mindset. I've been building my confidence,
prepping my c atg and AT, and launching my own
sneaker reselling brand. On the side, I say this with love.
(20:28):
All that lets me know you really wasn't as fine
as her exs my nigga said, I gotta get my life.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Right, yo. I'm happy for you. I love that.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Like I said, sometimes you need a little bit of heartbreak,
you need a little bit of heartbreak to get you
on the right track. Nothing jump starts the fitness like
a little heartbreak. Just spring a little depress you don't
like Parsley, and I'll get your life right every time. Okay,
that's all you need. Okay, he says. It's not about
(21:07):
proving anything to her anymore. It's about proving something to myself.
But yeah, part of me still wonders if she'll recognize
me when I walk into a New Year's party this December,
just a small quiet glow up. Has anyone else had
that moment when someone's silence hurt more than words?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
What did you do afterwards?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
You know me, personally, I have not had a situation
when someone's silence hurt more than the words because I
don't go around hurting my own feelings. I'm gonna be
real with you. I don't ask questions I don't want
the answer to, Okay. I don't ask to be to
go places I wasn't invited to. I don't apply myself
(21:49):
to situations that don't seem like they would be a
good fit for me. I can see how it might happen,
but me, personally, I don't have that experience. But it
seems like this is the little jump start you needed
to get yourself in order. And at the end of
the day, I just want to circle back and say,
all this came from her friends saying you weren't as
attractive as your ex number one. Whether that be true
(22:13):
or not, she still saw something in you that made
her want to be with you. So no, you might
not be as attractive by her as her ex, but
you might treat her better. Meat, might be fatter, Okay, longer, Okay.
She with you because you got the meats. Okay, you
saved in the group chat as Arby's bro. You got
your own role to play. You might not have been
there as the eye candy. You was there as mister
(22:35):
Arby's play your position.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
All Right, It's.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Always gonna be somebody finer. I'm never gonna be the
finest person somebody's been with because there's always gonna be
somebody finding here in the world.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
That's just how the world goes.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Like, there's always gonna be somebody better, always gonna be
somebody with more money, always gonna be somebody taller, always
gonna be a girl with a fat ass, Like we
can't constantly chase what someone had before is mean personally.
Don't give fuck you with big Mama. Now that's all
that matters to me. So the last one, y'all, this
one won't piss some of y'all off, but we're going
to answer with love and we're gonna read with fluff. Okay,
(23:08):
everybody say love. I'm dating a guy who's broke.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
It says.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I just started dating a guy who was good looking
and nice, but he doesn't earn much. I never thought
I care about that, but it has started to bug
me as he can't afford to do many dates. Did
you know he was broke when y'all first started dating,
or did you find out in the midst of the
dating that he's broke.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Let's get to it.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
So he wants to watch TV a lot and go
for walks a lot. I know I sound very materialistic,
but I do like to go to the cinema or
go out for dinner, or go to festivals or do
city breaks, and he just can't afford to do all that.
It's kind of annoying. Also, how he doesn't seem that ambitious,
(24:00):
so I'm not even sure if he's motivated to work
his way up the ladder or to switch jobs to
a higher paying one. I feel silly about it, but
I am going to resent this about him more and
more as time goes on. I'm already annoyed with it
and we're only two months into dating. Am I being dramatic?
Here's why I'm I'm gonna say this might not be
(24:21):
the person for you.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
You just said, Hey, you like to go to the cinema,
you like to go out for dinner, you like to
go to festivals, you like to do city breaks. I'm
gonna say he's not the guy for you because it
seems like he don't want to do what you want
to do. Right, And whether he had money or not,
my man enjoys watching TV and go on on walks.
(24:46):
If he didn't, you would see that ambition in him
to where he's now working to get more money to
do things like go to the movies or go out
to food truck festivals, or whatever the case may be.
From what you describe, it seems like he's content where
he is. I want to be clear and say this
is different from a situation where you know it's one
(25:08):
of those girls who don't want a partner, they want
a parent, right, They want someone to provide the lifestyle
that they can't do for themselves. To me, the things
that you said kind of sound like y'all just have
different interest And before y'all go down a rabbit hole
of oh, if you want to go out to eat
(25:29):
or go to the movies, why don't you pay for
it yourself? Sometimes you want to do something with a
significant other, Like I'm not gonna hold you. There are
some like cities I want to travel to, some countries
I want to travel to. I want to go with
a man so I can get bent over the balcony.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Okay, and not just bent over the balcony.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
There are some things I just want to experience with
a love interest, Like Paris is cool, but I want
to go with somebody I like for real. I want
to put a lock on a bridge.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
I want to have in.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Front of the Eiffel Tower. I don't want to do
all of my best friend. Okay, I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
To slap but nam after It's like, what are y'all
talking about?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Some things you just want to do with your significant other?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So I get it. You going to shut up, shy,
you going into shining? Get someone?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Theres so bad, y'all so you going into you know,
he doesn't seem that ambitious. I always say, like, you know,
I don't really care how much money a man makes.
I care how much disposable income he has. Right, if
you have a man who makes six figures but his
(26:40):
monthly expenses equal up to just about those six figures monthly,
it's it's not gonna work. Like, it doesn't matter if
you make six figures, if your monthly expenses have spent
the monthly allowance for it before we even get there. Like,
if you don't have disposable income, it's not gonna work.
(27:00):
And I want to say, this man might not be broke.
All his bills might be paid. Okay, he might be
providing for hisself. He just doesn't have disposable income. And
it looks like he's not having a problem with that,
and that's fine. It just might not be a good
fit for you, and you already knowing that it's going
to eat away at you, means you should probably just
(27:21):
let him go.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Do the right thing. Okay, speck Lee, do the right thing. Right.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
You're not asking for anything outlandish. You didn't say you
wanted to go to a five star restaurant. You need
him to take you on a trip.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
None of that.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
You ask for regular things to some people when it
comes to dating, like the cinema.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Lets me know you're also not from here. Picky up.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
The fact that you are foreshadowing resentment means you need
to move on, like you know it's going to eat
away at you. So yeah, girl, stop wasting every right time.
Lead that man alone and let him go find somebody
that likes to do ice cream dates and park dates forever.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
I don't mind good.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Coffee date, ice cream date, gym date, go on the
walk in the beginning, but eventually we're gonna have to
get into the stuff that I like to do. But
I'm not against you know. You know what, No, it's
two months. Two months is too long. I'm fine doing
like a coffee date or ice cream date or something
(28:20):
for like the First Link, because it's it's it's it's
financially responsible. Say, say you're an attractive man, You're gonna
meet a lot of women. You gotta take everyone to
like a five star restaurant on a first date.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
That's not financially responsible.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I am a big fan of First Link, ice cream date, coffee,
let's go for a walk, let's go to the gym,
let's go ride bikes. It's cool, Let's get to know
each other. Is this a vibe we're even interested in
pouring into?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
But maybe two months? Two months is when I got,
I got, I got, I got a bow out. Today
we talked about doing you without revenge. We talked about
wifely duties behind cooking intentional dating. We also talked about
closure with or without conversation. We also got into some
(29:11):
interesting stories from Reddit. And my thesis is date people
who like you all right, follow me on the Gram,
at Stormy Pea, at chocolate Chip, and sip and if
you don't remember anything else, please remember don't ask questions
you don't want the answer to. Oh no, I lie.
(29:32):
I want to change you to intention over attention. I
love you, guys, and I see next week. Peace donations
What's that, beautiful people, it's your Girl's three repeat And
this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Sip.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
And today, some of y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Think doing me means getting your lick back, and I'm
here to tell you there are other options. Because to me,
when I say I'm doing me, it means I'm blocking you.
I'm being blessed, all right, and it means I'm moving on.
So we're gonna divulge on an array of topics today,
(00:33):
everything from doing you without revenge, wifely duties beyond cooking,
intentional dating, and also closure with or without conversation. Now, first,
I hate when people say, oh, if you do you,
I'm gonna do me too, And as a woman, it
automatically means you.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Out here, sucking dick. How did we get here?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Like when I say, if you do you, I'm gonna
do me too. That don't mean I'm getting my look back.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That means I'm gonna leave your ass alone. If you
gonna do you.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I'm gonna do me too. And I don't mean get
my look back. I mean I'm gonna leave your ass alone.
I'm done, I'm tired. Doing you does not equal revenge.
It means you are prioritizing your peace, baby, and that's
the type of shit I'm on. It's power in walking away.
I don't have to sooop down to your level just
(01:26):
because you hurt me.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
I'm not there no more.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Honestly, I done pay the lady too much money and
kopay is to do that shit again.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
I'm not there at all.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I can't relate. I can't relate. That's not my life anymore.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Baby. I'm too fine for you to treat me like
a black jelly bean. Okay.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
So if we're in the space where you're doing that
and I feel that and we're having conversation and it
isn't getting better, it's about to offer me to do me.
The best part about leaving somebody or doing you is
like that aftercare.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I mean that glow up.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
You ever stop dealing with somebody and then you start
drinking your water, you start eating right, you start going
to the gym. Face clear up, tell me, get flatter,
ask it fatter like bruh.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Sometimes you need a little bit of hurt to get
your life back on track.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Okay, I stand by this.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Depression is better than with GOVI okay, it's better than
ozimpic can get your feelings hurt the right way, baby.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
I'll jump start your weight loss.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Okay, I am not promoting depression, but no, I'm just joking.
I just, I just I'm not doing revenge. Okay, I'm
just gonna reneg on this whole relationship. I'm a renegg
on this situationship. It's beneath me now and I don't
want to engage, like, I just gotta do better. Speaking
(02:44):
of doing better, it's a topic that keeps popping up
on the inner that and it really just it makes
me want to vomit.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Can we talk about wifely duties?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
Don't be mad at me when we say this, because
you know we're friends, we love each other and have
healthy conversations. But I hate when y'all say I'm not
doing wifely duties for a man and it.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Just be cooking.
Speaker 1 (03:08):
What since when does wifely duties begin and in in
the kitchen?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Did I miss something?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Do we have a board meeting where when we talk
about doing wifely duties that automatically equates to cooking?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
That's it?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
I feel like Alan Iverson when he be like practice.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Cooking, were talking about cooking.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
We're not talking about praying for a man reminded him
about annual checkups, so in that hole in his pants
that he ripped that work reminded him that his car
insurance is due on the fifteenth.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
We're not talking about none of that. We're talking about practice.
Were just talking about cooking. Now.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I can understand if you're the type of woman who
makes special spaghetti.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
Okay, if you know.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
You know, cooking might be a little bit intimate, indifferent
for you.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I get that. I get that. I'm not talking about you,
but I get that.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I'm not talking about somebody who has a very you know,
most relationship with their family where cooking is how they're
bond and it's very inmate.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
I'm not talking about y'all.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I'm talking about that woman who act like she can't
make that man a plate in her shrimp alfredo because
it's so good, and she done bought all the groceries
and he ain't did nothing because that's wifely duties.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
What about the husband duties?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
What if that man decided, you know what, I don't
want to pay for everything. I don't want to stand
on the outside of the curb in case a car
jumps the side.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Walking hits to both of us. It's an intruder in
the middle of the night.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
And I don't want to protect you because that's husbandly duties.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Now here's the bad guy.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
He gonna do all that for a girl who can't
even make him a plate of her out fright out.
I'm not talking about the turkey wings you done took
all day to marinateen, two hours to cook, three hours
to cook.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
That little ass hour meal that it took you twenty
seconds to throw together. Baby, Some women will tell you
they do not want to do wifely duties, but expect
their a man to do husband duties. Reciprocates. You have
to be willing to do one to get the other.
You have to reciprocate. Like I said before, if you
have a sentimental attachment to cooking, I get it, I understand, okay,
(05:15):
But if you're just doing it out of spite because
you still ain't got a ring, that's no way. Now
you act like you can only boil.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Pasta if you got a ring. Sis, it's not that deep.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
To some I'll say it's not that deep because, like
I said, some people have a larger attachment to it
to each its own. I say this with love and
a hit dog going holler. A majority of the women
who I see complaining that they don't want to cook
for a man because it's wifely duties are women who
can't cook. No shade to each your home. But that's
(05:50):
where a lot of the conversation be coming from. And honestly,
this is coming from a bit you used to not
be confident hoo cooking. Okay, I got the juice now,
but this is coming from a bitch who used to
not be confident in her cooking. And I was one
of the ones like I can't cook for a nigga. Yeah,
because I wasn't confident in cooking for a nigga, I
was there. I say it with love. Right, once you
(06:10):
get the flick of the wrist, you'll give fuck.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Once you get the flick of the rink, you don't care.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
It's it's not as the only thing I really want
you to take from this is the word of the
day is reciprocated. Listen, whether you can burn in the
kitchen or burn up his phone. Let's be honest, some
niggas still not gonna be able to plan a date
and That's another thing I want to talk about because
I'm in a few group chats and this just came
up a lot, so much so that it's concerning.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
At this point, fellows.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
Y'all really out here texting and FaceTime and calling all
day and not.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Making all plans. The fuck is that?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Take me on a date within the first week or
leave me alone.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
I've had enough, The women have had enough.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I don't know who needs to hear this, but intention
over attentions.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I know it's a crazy concept. Hear me out.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Intention over attention. It's so simple, right, Attention is instant.
Intention is consistent. You see, you see, you see one
more time.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Attention is instant, Intention is consistent.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
It's a difference. Nobody want to get a what you
do in text all day? You don't like that, right,
So why do you think that woman likes that? If
you continue two three weeks without making a plan or
making a date, she's gonna think you just want to
play and waste her time. Ladies, if that man is
trying to make plans with you and it's been a week,
(07:40):
it's been two weeks, no shade. But there are a
lot of women who want to be in a.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Relationship sis, act like.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
It, Fellas, there are a lot of men that want
to be in a relationship, act like it. If you
have some hot shit on your phone, act like it,
and I'm a reasonable girl. Pay weeks might be off
all right. If you ain't got it this week, next
week works out a little.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Bit better for you.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
It takes two seconds to say, hey, I'm a little
bit busy this week, but I would love to see you.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Are you free on X day, Y day, Z day?
Speaker 1 (08:13):
And she'll or he'll respond, yes, I am can't wait
to see you.
Speaker 2 (08:18):
It's so easy. You like her, he like you. Make
plans done? Okay? Done?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Attention Is you just hitting her phone? You just hitting
his phone? Eventually that shit get played out, don't nobody
want no pen pal? Attention is a notification. Yeah, that
person hits you.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Up on your line, huh.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Intention That person sits you plans, a calendar, invite, told
you where to be, what time, and how to dress.
That's what we want moving forward. Okay, gets the people going. Okay,
less attention, more intention. I'm gonna be real with y'all.
A lot of y'all not even good at tech. It's
(09:01):
what you're doing Lol, how was your day?
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Good night? Good morning? Next day? What you're doing? Lol?
How is your day? Good night? Good morning? We're at
the next day. Like y'all don't even be.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Texting good enough to always want a text, Call me,
come see me in person, make a date to get
to know meat in person. That's when you're gonna find
out the heart shit. That's when you wanna find out
the good stuff. I can cart will I know about
various pods of orca. I can teach you how to
three D print some shit. You're messing out all the
(09:37):
good stuff. You can't get all this goodness through text. Baby,
you gotta see me in person so you can find
out how weird I am. Now. The key is you
don't let them know all a weariness right up front.
You gotta slow roll it out. But you get the
good stuff in person, is what I'm saying. With that
being said, sometimes the way Amen moves or doesn't move,
(10:03):
it's the exact closure you need. Sometimes closure is realizing
they treated you exactly how they wanted to. Yeah, he
she them we Sometimes closure is realizing he treated you
exactly the way he wanted to. Yeah, it wasn't a miscommunication.
It wasn't a mistake. Okay, it wasn't a misunderstanding. No,
(10:27):
he meant that, she meant that, they meant that. I
feel like sometimes we be chasing explanations from people who
already showed you their priorities. They know what they're doing
at this big age, Okay, at this big age, maybe
you know better. You know better, and you know what
(10:49):
I like to tell myself. I always like to say,
if this man was talking to Beyonce or Rihanna, would
he move like that?
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And if my answer is a resounding no, good luck
on your journey. I don't want to keep having to
tell you how to treat me. What's expected. Baby, we
grown you know how to text, you know how to date,
you know how to communicate. And at the end of
the day, if it was Beyonce or Rihanna, would you
be moving that way? Shout out to those lovely black queens.
When someone loves you, you feel it, and when they don't,
(11:25):
you feel it. If we keep that in mind when
we interact with people, I think it would make the
dating pool a little bit better. I'm not gonna hold
y'all when y'all be talking about the dating pool got pissing.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
It can't relate.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
Okay, the way my standards and boundaries are set up,
ain't nobody playing in my face?
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Baby. Now.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Granted, every person that I run into is not going
to be the person for me, but I'm also not
gonna let them play in my face until I have
the strength to say I'm done, I'm good. You have
to have the strength to turn that hurt into a
lesson into a boundary.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
All Right.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
We have to stand up for ourselves, and when we do,
dating will become a lot more fun. So now we're
going to get into one of my favorite segments of
the show.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Somebody come look at this. Okay, this is.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
When we read amazing stories that we find on Reddit
that are freaking hilarious. First one, my boyfriend told me
his type, and now it's eating me alive. It says, Hi, there,
I'll admit this is kind of my own doing. Me
and my boyfriend are both open and honest people, especially
when it comes to our relationship, so I knew he'd
(12:41):
answered truthfully, but this thing has been eating me up.
A few days ago, we were on vacation and somehow
the topic of types came up. Now, how the fuck
did that happen? Okay, ken, we just take a pause
in the story. I would rather eat a jean jacket
than ask my significant other what their type is. And
(13:04):
I'm gonna tell you why. I'm not mature enough for
it not to be me. Okay, God forbid. We are
locked in, we are engaged, we got kids, we got properties,
and he.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Sit here and tell me I'm not his type.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
So either he's settling, he's trying some new shit, and
I'm an experiment, like these are horrible outcomes.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
I'm never gonna ask my.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Person what their type is because I'm not mature enough
for it not.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
To be me.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
I asked him what his type was, and he says
he prefers darker skinned women, or at least someone with
darker skin, so his kids wouldn't run the risk of
being lighter.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Why would you ask this. I'm a light skinned woman,
Jesus Christ, so hearing that really hurt.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
Now I'm sitting here wondering if he even wants kids
with me, since by default they'd be light skin. I've
never cared about the skin tone of my future children,
so I just don't get where he's coming from with that.
I really love him, and we've never had any issues
before this.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
So now I just don't know what to do.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
I was honest with him too, I told him I
don't have a preference and that personality always jumps everything
for me. But unfortunately he didn't feel the same. And
now look at you, hurt?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Okay, look at you hurt? Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
This goes right up there with going through your significant
other's phone. What are you gonna do if you find
something that you don't like? Crying a car? And now
look at you, not his type crying in a car.
And today he told me that he used to Jesus Christ.
And today he told me that he used to pleasure
(14:53):
himself to celebrities like Billie Eilish, Cardi B Beyonce, I Spice,
Sidney Sweeney, and Rihanna. So now I'm really confused because
don't all of these women have light complexions?
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I just don't get it. Let me ask you a question, right,
let me ask you a question.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
So the conversation was already going bad where you wasn't
his type?
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Right? Right? No? No, if you're watching, I don't want
you to answer me.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
The conversation was already going bad when you realize you
were not his type. You then took it a step
further and said, well, what do you pleasure yourself to?
Speaker 2 (15:32):
What type of porn do you like? What type of
celebrity crushes do you have?
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Right? And he named all these white and light skinned women, right,
And you allowed that to confuse you, not realizing that's
just what get his dick wet. That's not what he
wants to be with forever. Don't let that confuse you.
He can rub one out to those women. Sure you
look like those women. That's not what he wants to
(15:56):
be with. That's not what he sees longevity with. That's
what he says fleshly's desires for. That's not longevity.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
Right.
Speaker 1 (16:05):
And I want to say to this man, to any man,
to any person, to any person, if your partner says,
what's your type?
Speaker 2 (16:14):
What do you like?
Speaker 1 (16:15):
Okay, I don't care if you like a big foot
yetty my nigga, always say you're my type and I'm
so happy to have you. Boom boom boom. I don't
care if all the people you date it look nothing
like them, just say.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
You're my type. I'm so happy to have you.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Chad said, what happens if you guys have follow up questions,
there is no follow up questions. It always diverts back
to here we are right now together. A wise prophet
from one twelve one said, here we are all alone,
just you and me, privacy, okay, and we can do anything.
(17:01):
You're fantasy. I want to hear you scream my name.
That's all that matters. Okay, right here, right now, that's it.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I don't think it's lying. I think.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Some conversations don't need to be had, all right because
they don't concern you, they don't affect you. And if
you have a truly happy relationship, why are we tainting
it with nonsense. Sometimes people engage in self sabotage and
they don't realize it. I feel like both these people
did in this particular situation. Can we stop asking questions
(17:34):
we don't want the answers to? Long story short? Can
we stop asking questions we don't want the answer to?
Next one says her friend said, I wasn't as hot
as her ex, and she stayed silent. Last year, I
was dating someone I really liked, and I almost waited
for one year for her to say, yes, I'm not
(17:55):
the loudest guy or the flashiest, but I was all
in loyal real. One day while hanging out with her,
and she mentioned that her friends. One of her friends
left and said, he's not as attractive as your ex.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Though.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
One day, while hanging out with her and her see,
y'all can't write, and that'd be my problem. One day,
while hanging out with her, she mentioned that her friends
laughed and said he's not as attractive as your ex.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Though. I asked, well, what did you say? In return?
She just didn't say anything, no defense.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
You know, we just talked about this, asking questions you
don't really want the answer to, right, because what if
she would have looked you dead in your face.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
And said I laughed and said how now? Right now?
What now?
Speaker 1 (18:50):
What?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Now? What now? What? You know? I don't know.
Speaker 1 (18:56):
I don't know why she even had this conversation. Every
wan thing of like they had the conversation in front
of you, or you like overheard it, like or you
found it by accident. Why are we having this conversation?
I just okay, not even a I like him for.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Who he is. Just silence. Yes, that man wrote that.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
That's how you know he was hurt. That's how you
know he was hurt? Honestly, why are you telling him this?
What is the benefit in this conversation? Let me know
that moment stuck with me more than it should have.
I didn't say anything either, just smiled and took it.
But deep down something shifted. I realized I was choosing
(19:45):
her loudly while she was choosing me silently, or maybe
not at all.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
I left that relationship.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Even after that, she called me for free tickets that
I promised her along back.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I promised only one ticket. She asked for more I
didn't have.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
I said I couldn't keep up the promise, and she
blocked me. I didn't spiral. Instead, I got up the
next morning and hit the gym. I started eating better,
sleeping earlier, fixed my mindset. I've been building my confidence,
prepping my c atg and AT, and launching my own
sneaker reselling brand. On the side, I say this with love.
(20:28):
All that lets me know you really wasn't as fine
as her exs my nigga said, I gotta get my life.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Right, yo. I'm happy for you. I love that.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Like I said, sometimes you need a little bit of heartbreak,
you need a little bit of heartbreak to get you
on the right track. Nothing jump starts the fitness like
a little heartbreak. Just spring a little depress you don't
like Parsley, and I'll get your life right every time. Okay,
that's all you need. Okay, he says. It's not about
(21:07):
proving anything to her anymore. It's about proving something to myself.
But yeah, part of me still wonders if she'll recognize
me when I walk into a New Year's party this December,
just a small quiet glow up. Has anyone else had
that moment when someone's silence hurt more than words?
Speaker 2 (21:25):
What did you do afterwards?
Speaker 1 (21:26):
You know me, personally, I have not had a situation
when someone's silence hurt more than the words because I
don't go around hurting my own feelings. I'm gonna be
real with you. I don't ask questions I don't want
the answer to, Okay. I don't ask to be to
go places I wasn't invited to. I don't apply myself
(21:49):
to situations that don't seem like they would be a
good fit for me. I can see how it might happen,
but me, personally, I don't have that experience. But it
seems like this is the little jump start you needed
to get yourself in order. And at the end of
the day, I just want to circle back and say,
all this came from her friends saying you weren't as
attractive as your ex number one. Whether that be true
(22:13):
or not, she still saw something in you that made
her want to be with you. So no, you might
not be as attractive by her as her ex, but
you might treat her better. Meat, might be fatter, Okay, longer, Okay.
She with you because you got the meats. Okay, you
saved in the group chat as Arby's bro. You got
your own role to play. You might not have been
there as the eye candy. You was there as mister
(22:35):
Arby's play your position.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
All Right, It's.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
Always gonna be somebody finer. I'm never gonna be the
finest person somebody's been with because there's always gonna be
somebody finding here in the world.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
That's just how the world goes.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Like, there's always gonna be somebody better, always gonna be
somebody with more money, always gonna be somebody taller, always
gonna be a girl with a fat ass, Like we
can't constantly chase what someone had before is mean personally.
Don't give fuck you with big Mama. Now that's all
that matters to me. So the last one, y'all, this
one won't piss some of y'all off, but we're going
to answer with love and we're gonna read with fluff. Okay,
(23:08):
everybody say love. I'm dating a guy who's broke.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
It says.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
I just started dating a guy who was good looking
and nice, but he doesn't earn much. I never thought
I care about that, but it has started to bug
me as he can't afford to do many dates. Did
you know he was broke when y'all first started dating,
or did you find out in the midst of the
dating that he's broke.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Let's get to it.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
So he wants to watch TV a lot and go
for walks a lot. I know I sound very materialistic,
but I do like to go to the cinema or
go out for dinner, or go to festivals or do
city breaks, and he just can't afford to do all that.
It's kind of annoying. Also, how he doesn't seem that ambitious,
(24:00):
so I'm not even sure if he's motivated to work
his way up the ladder or to switch jobs to
a higher paying one. I feel silly about it, but
I am going to resent this about him more and
more as time goes on. I'm already annoyed with it
and we're only two months into dating. Am I being dramatic?
Here's why I'm I'm gonna say this might not be
(24:21):
the person for you.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
Right.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
You just said, Hey, you like to go to the cinema,
you like to go out for dinner, you like to
go to festivals, you like to do city breaks. I'm
gonna say he's not the guy for you because it
seems like he don't want to do what you want
to do. Right, And whether he had money or not,
my man enjoys watching TV and go on on walks.
(24:46):
If he didn't, you would see that ambition in him
to where he's now working to get more money to
do things like go to the movies or go out
to food truck festivals, or whatever the case may be.
From what you describe, it seems like he's content where
he is. I want to be clear and say this
is different from a situation where you know it's one
(25:08):
of those girls who don't want a partner, they want
a parent, right, They want someone to provide the lifestyle
that they can't do for themselves. To me, the things
that you said kind of sound like y'all just have
different interest And before y'all go down a rabbit hole
of oh, if you want to go out to eat
(25:29):
or go to the movies, why don't you pay for
it yourself? Sometimes you want to do something with a
significant other, Like I'm not gonna hold you. There are
some like cities I want to travel to, some countries
I want to travel to. I want to go with
a man so I can get bent over the balcony.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Okay, and not just bent over the balcony.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
There are some things I just want to experience with
a love interest, Like Paris is cool, but I want
to go with somebody I like for real. I want
to put a lock on a bridge.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
I want to have in.
Speaker 1 (26:00):
Front of the Eiffel Tower. I don't want to do
all of my best friend. Okay, I'm trying.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
To slap but nam after It's like, what are y'all
talking about?
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Some things you just want to do with your significant other?
Speaker 2 (26:12):
So I get it. You going to shut up, shy,
you going into shining? Get someone?
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Theres so bad, y'all so you going into you know,
he doesn't seem that ambitious. I always say, like, you know,
I don't really care how much money a man makes.
I care how much disposable income he has. Right, if
you have a man who makes six figures but his
(26:40):
monthly expenses equal up to just about those six figures monthly,
it's it's not gonna work. Like, it doesn't matter if
you make six figures, if your monthly expenses have spent
the monthly allowance for it before we even get there. Like,
if you don't have disposable income, it's not gonna work.
(27:00):
And I want to say, this man might not be broke.
All his bills might be paid. Okay, he might be
providing for hisself. He just doesn't have disposable income. And
it looks like he's not having a problem with that,
and that's fine. It just might not be a good
fit for you, and you already knowing that it's going
to eat away at you, means you should probably just
(27:21):
let him go.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Do the right thing. Okay, speck Lee, do the right thing. Right.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
You're not asking for anything outlandish. You didn't say you
wanted to go to a five star restaurant. You need
him to take you on a trip.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
None of that.
Speaker 1 (27:35):
You ask for regular things to some people when it
comes to dating, like the cinema.
Speaker 2 (27:40):
Lets me know you're also not from here. Picky up.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
The fact that you are foreshadowing resentment means you need
to move on, like you know it's going to eat
away at you. So yeah, girl, stop wasting every right time.
Lead that man alone and let him go find somebody
that likes to do ice cream dates and park dates forever.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
I don't mind good.
Speaker 1 (28:00):
Coffee date, ice cream date, gym date, go on the
walk in the beginning, but eventually we're gonna have to
get into the stuff that I like to do. But
I'm not against you know. You know what, No, it's
two months. Two months is too long. I'm fine doing
like a coffee date or ice cream date or something
(28:20):
for like the First Link, because it's it's it's it's
financially responsible. Say, say you're an attractive man, You're gonna
meet a lot of women. You gotta take everyone to
like a five star restaurant on a first date.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
That's not financially responsible.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
I am a big fan of First Link, ice cream date, coffee,
let's go for a walk, let's go to the gym,
let's go ride bikes. It's cool, Let's get to know
each other. Is this a vibe we're even interested in
pouring into?
Speaker 2 (28:50):
Right?
Speaker 1 (28:51):
But maybe two months? Two months is when I got,
I got, I got, I got a bow out. Today
we talked about doing you without revenge. We talked about
wifely duties behind cooking intentional dating. We also talked about
closure with or without conversation. We also got into some
(29:11):
interesting stories from Reddit. And my thesis is date people
who like you all right, follow me on the Gram,
at Stormy Pea, at chocolate Chip, and sip and if
you don't remember anything else, please remember don't ask questions
you don't want the answer to. Oh no, I lie.
(29:32):
I want to change you to intention over attention. I
love you, guys, and I see next week. Peace donations
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