Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Hi and welcome to Classic Advice.
My name is Scarlett Classic, your host.
Welcome everyone to those of youthat are new.
On this podcast I share stories from my life in order to draw
lessons from them, to inspire and encourage us for self
improvement, for a more fulfilling and happier life.
(00:23):
Holidays seem to amplify loneliness.
That's what I would like to talkabout today.
Today, if you're listening to this on the day of release, it
is Christmas Eve. And if you're listening to this
in the future and if it's not Christmas Eve, it's OK because
(00:43):
loneliness can trigger at any time.
It is not always around the holidays.
But when I was thinking about what to do for today, I got
thinking about how the holidays sometimes are really, really
hard because they've been hard for me in the past and they can
(01:10):
really trigger loneliness in a new sort of way.
And I wanted to be here for you guys that are maybe celebrating
today alone. I remember celebrating Christmas
for the first time as a single mom with my two boys, and I did
(01:38):
go visit some family, but it wasn't the same.
And loneliness is one of those funny things that you can be in
a room full of people and still feel like you're utterly alone.
(02:00):
How do we get through that? That's that's the question
today. It's it's hard life.
Life is tough. And the holidays seem to, well,
(02:21):
they call Christmas, you know, the happiest time of the year or
when Easter comes along and people ask you what you're doing
for the holidays. And they're, they have all this
stuff planned and it's with family and friends or, or New
Year's. And you know, it's almost every
(02:42):
month has some sort of holiday or, or event that's tough to
deal with when you're feeling lonely.
Do you feel lonely today? Do you have someone maybe in
mind that you maybe wonder if they're lonely?
(03:11):
I think one of the best things we can do is be very self aware
on how we're talking to ourselves and that inner
monologue. If we have an attitude that is
saying and we're telling ourselves that we're just always
(03:33):
going to be alone, it doesn't exactly inspire us to seek out
friendship. Reaching out to people can be a
scary thing because there's always that fear of rejection.
But so that's the thing, if we are constantly waiting for other
(03:58):
people to reach out to us, it might never happen.
I had this conversation with my son a couple years ago because I
was asking him how school was going because he had moved back
in with us and with all new friends.
So I asked him how it was going,if he was making any friends.
(04:20):
And he, he's not exactly shy, but, but he does kind of have a
shy streak in him. And he said to me, well, you
know, I, I didn't go up to anybody, 'cause I'm waiting for
them to come to me first. So I sat down with him and I had
(04:43):
a talk with him and I said, look, kiddo, what if everybody
does that? What if everybody waits on
everybody else to make the firstmove and nobody would talk to
anybody? And practice makes perfect.
The more you talk to, say, the barista at the coffee shop or
(05:09):
the checkout lady when you're getting your groceries, or I
mean, whoever the guy changing the oil on your car, the more we
practice talking to strangers, the more well that gets, the
(05:29):
easier it gets. And remembering that we're all
human and as humans, we all crave connection.
And I think every one of us can say that we can fear rejection.
I mean, that's never pretty. I guess the lesson that I'd like
us to take out of this is just reach out to people and don't
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wait for them to come to you first because it might never
happen. Finding a place to volunteer,
being very aware of your inner monologue, telling tell yourself
you could do this is huge. Don't tell yourself you're
always going to be alone becausethat's just not not positivity.
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We want positivity, not negativity.
Even joining a group, taking a yoga class, putting yourself out
there to meet new people, or I, I mean, it could be anything.
Joining up a, a swimming group or a bowling league.
(06:39):
Or if you, it doesn't necessarily have to be anything
that costs money. You could go on meetup.com and
pick a group to meet up with that has similar interests as
you. I love meet Up, meetup.com, and
I think that website's just the best because my dear friend
Dave, who was just on the show acouple weeks ago, he has a meet
(07:02):
up group and every Saturdays we get together as podcasters and
connect. And it's absolutely wonderful
because there's been no way I could meet with these people on
the day-to-day. It costs absolutely 0 money
because I'm already paying for Internet.
So it's completely free. But you get the connection and
you meet people that you normally would never meet.
(07:24):
I mean, we have people from the States, Italy, from all over the
place. So that is a really great
people. Great, great people.
They are great people, but it's a great place to meet people.
So if you haven't already, I would challenge you to try these
things and I'll put in this episode.
(07:46):
I'll put a link in the show notes to meetup.com.
If you if you want to join, you know, just go on there and
browse your little heart out. But don't wait.
Don't wait for people to make the first move.
Get yourself out there. You never know what can happen.
(08:14):
That's it for this episode. Please pause like my dear friend
JJ says, and think about your interests.
Think about what kind of group you would like to join and love
yourself enough to make the first move and say hi to someone
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and be aware of your ripple because we all have a ripple in
life. Let's make that a +1.
Stay classically you stay uniquely you.
You guys are the absolute best. And as always, I would love to
talk to you, holiday or not. Please reach out
(09:04):
classicchronicles.ca links are all in the show notes.
Take care you guys, until next time, bye.