August 23, 2023 • 34 mins
Dive into a chilling exploration of the unsolved drownings in Austin, Texas, and the looming dangers within the world of dating apps. In this captivating episode, we attempt to unearth the truth behind the mysterious drownings the police are calling "accidental" of up to 18 fit, 30-something men in Lady Bird Lake. But how does the digital age exacerbate these fears, and is there a link between these tragedies and platforms like Grindr? 📲 From personal, spine-tingling tales from Adam, Blaine, and Ryan of close encounters to thought-provoking discussions on social media's role, get ready for an intense caffeine hit with Coffee with Gays. ☕🌈
Show Notes:
0:15 - Introduction: The baffling case of "Scared Gays" 🌙 and the alleged drownings in Austin's Lady Bird Lake.
2:00 - Layout of Austin and insights into Lady Bird Lake 🗺️.
3:05 - Our frustrations with Austin's police response to the drownings 😡.
3:31 - A deep dive into Ford Sanders' report on Jonathan Honey and Jason John, and the pressing need for better safety measures 🚫🏊.
4:48 - Ken Waks' peculiar investigations linked to the drownings and his odd claims 🤔.
6:27 - Barry Schmalbach's disappearance: A nationwide problem? 🌍
7:06 - Grindr's role in the modern gay experience and potential hazards 🔍📱.
8:30 - Blaine's call for identity verification on social platforms 🛂.
8:50 - The urgent need to amend Section 230 and regulate social media 📜.
10:00 - The importance of safety in gay dating: Always inform someone about your whereabouts 📍.
10:23 - Delving into the horrific crimes of Jeffrey Dahmer 🚫.
12:12 - Adam's unnerving experience with Grindr encounters 🚪.
13:45 - Blaine's ghosting tale from the past and a debate on dating etiquette 📆💔.
16:41 - Blaine's progressive viewpoint in response to Ryan 💡.
19:00 - Adam's near encounter with a mysterious Grindr user from afar 👥.
25:50 - Blaine's exhilarating yet alarming escapades in Montreal 🌃.
27:40 - Ryan's blackout experience in LA 🍹.
29:30 - Ryan's unexpected night with a surprising individual 🛏️.
31:30 - A shoutout to our lesbian allies 🌈❤️.
33:00 - A plea for justice: Remembering the men of Lady Bird Lake 👨🌊.
34:00 - Comment to win! Stand a chance to receive a "Coffee with Gays" mug ☕🎉
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This bachelor adds the gay bars.
They really pissed me off.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
You freaking.
Open your mouth and Prada comesout, don't?
Speaker 3 (00:07):
come between Bargain Bradley and my mate.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
And welcome to another podcast with Coffee with
Gays.
I am Adam, we have Ryan andtoday's host, we have Blaine.
What are we talking about,blaine?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Today we're talking about scared gays, because I
think that there's a lot ofactually really scary stories
around the gay community and onethat actually just hit my
TikTok feed yesterday about aguy named Jonathan Honey.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Yet another person's body was pulled from Ladybird
Lake this weekend.
33-year-old Jonathan Honey wasreported missing March 31.
And his body was found in thelake Saturday night.
This comes a few weeks after30-year-old Jason John was also
found in the lake after a nightout.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
There are guys that have been going missing in
Austin and Chicago and Floridalately and there's been talks of
if there's a serial killer ornot.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Well, Austin's not that far from us.
I know, that's a little edgy.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And I'm going to Chicago this week.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
And you're going to Chicago.
Market days is coming up.
You should be very careful.
I don't want to be a conspiracytheorist, for sure, but I'm
sorry.
This Austin thing is really,really weird.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, because I'm already got nervous about the
Friday night one.
It sounds like we're going tothe sketchy neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, then definitely be very careful.
I did make Ryan reshare hislocation with me, so I do have
that now.
So but yeah, jonathan Honey waslike a 33-year-old, like really
attractive, fit guy.
He was down on Rainey Street.
We were there for our photoshoot and it is the gay
neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Rainey Street is downtown.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Downtown Austin.
If you're familiar, it's whereall the bars are.
There are gay bars, but alsonot gay bars too.
He was there for a bachelorparty and I'm like a little
unclear if he's gay or not.
He looked gay but he does havethat fish picture that they've
been showing.
But he's an attractive guy.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I've just been fishing.
What are you talking?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
about he could be like you.
For sure he could be like astraight looking gay dude.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
So for anybody who has never been to Austin, there
is the, I guess the river.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
It's a river and they call it Lady Bird Lake, but
it's basically like a river.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
It's a river that runs through Austin.
That I would say is a lowerpart of Austin.
It kind of divides the city,but divides from the lower to
the upper and most of the cityis in the upper part of the city
.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
So this guy, like basically, was on Rainey Street.
He went to go get food.
He had been drinking.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Well, he was out with the bachelor party.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
He goes to get food by himself and he wanders to
Lady Bird Lake, which is like1.8 miles away it's not like a
short walk and he somehow justgoes into the lake and drowns.
And what kills me is this isn'tthe first one.
There's actually nine of thesedeaths that have happened to men
(03:07):
in their 30s since December of2022.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You would think this should happen to people in their
80s when they have an outside,even if you're drunk.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It's like you're not just wandering around and like,
oh, like I just ran into a lakeand I'm dead, so the toxicology
came out, and I'm going tostitch the video from the local
ABC affiliate that actually thereporter that I follow that
stitched that was on TikTok thatit just angered me so much
because at the very end of hisvideo he goes oh and so now the
(03:41):
police are doing new safetymeasures, adding lighting and
adding fencing to Lady Bird Laketo stop that.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
The autopsy has just been released for 33-year-old
Jonathan Honey, who was founddead in Lady Bird Lake here in
Austin, texas.
Let's talk about the detailsFor those who don't know, my
name is Ford Sanders.
I am a news reporter for theABC News affiliate here in
Austin, texas, kvu News.
So back in April, just a couplemonths ago, 33-year-old Jonathan
Honey his body was actuallyfound in Lady Bird Lake.
He was here visiting from theDC area on a bachelor trip.
(04:09):
He was reported missing onMarch 31st and the Austin Police
Department says that he wasdrinking and went off to go find
food.
And a day later they found the33-year-old dead in the lake
near the Rainy Street District.
So when it comes to the actualautopsy, it ruled Honey's death
as an accidental drowning, butit said he had alcohol in his
system.
It said he had amphetamines inhis system, which was in the
line with his medical diagnosisof having ADHD, but also
(04:31):
hydroxyzine, which is usually agood anti-anxiety medication.
But Jason John, back inFebruary, was also found in the
lake and it was also classifiedas an accidental drowning, still
leaving a lot of questions forfamily and friends of all of
these victims and more work tobe done on those trails for
safety measures and precaution.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Some Austinites and city leaders have been demanding
improvements to the RainyStreet area, including better
lighting and adding cameras.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
And I don't think it's a safety issue.
And there was this guy and I'mjust gonna add a little fuel to
this fire because there was acontent creator, his name's Ken
Wags, this dude who I think Ikind of showed you and you're
like is he gay or not?
He's not gay because he had agirlfriend at one point and he
came out and he had this wholeconspiracy theory about serial
(05:16):
killers in Chicago and then hewent to the Austin Killers and
he basically was like sayingthat these killers were out and
it was.
It was wild when he wasclaiming and he was also saying
that these private investigatorswere visiting and he was
showing business cards.
He got canceled big timebecause he was like also saying
that his app was going to helpfind them.
(05:37):
So he was tying it to business.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Why would the police?
Were the police upset aboutthat or not?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So the police were like no, we don't need your help
.
And then he said that policewere also working with him.
So everybody thinks he's supershady and he was doing it for a
following.
So he basically hasn't beenposting on TikTok anymore and
then started doing other stuffon Instagram and he said hey,
I'm not doing this anymore.
But I will say this is weird.
(06:04):
Like, can we just admit?
This is weird?
And the guy Jonathan that diedat Lady Bird Lake and they just
released these toxicologyresults he had anti-anxiety
medicine in his system which hewasn't prescribed and like,
we're still ruling this as anaccidental drowning and it's not
a homicide.
And yet it's the ninth guythat's gone missing.
(06:26):
So there's another guy actuallyin Florida, an older man who
has been missing from a gay barcalled Cruisers.
He's an older gentlemanactually.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
This is awesome.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
No, this one's in Florida, another place I go to.
They keep like popping up and Ithink, you know, maybe it's
just social media and that'skind of what our topic is today,
which is why I wanted to bringit up.
But like, we have to be likereally careful because there's a
lot of scary situations and weneed to be really aware.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
But you have to also remember, for a lot of people
who are that may be listening,that's not gay, is.
There are apps out there, suchas Grinder, and the best thing
that I ever said, that I everheard, was Grinder should have
been named Fruit by the Foot,because Grinder actually puts
you in location by feet awayfrom somebody.
(07:19):
So, in turn of this, if I hadGrinder on right now and Blaine
did, we would be probably threeor four feet from and it would
show you in the app how far awayyou are.
So the scary part about this isyou have a lot of people who
can find you, your location,where you are and, trust me,
I've done it.
I have hunted down some peoplein my life, but not to kill them
(07:43):
, but just to be like I thinkyou're not out of the clock and
I think you're lying about whoyou are and I'm going to find
you.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
No, I mean it's crazy to think because we put a lot
of like trust in that, likewe're going on this app agreeing
to share our locations, theother guy's locations Also.
We can go, you know, hook upwith someone and you never know
when that person could be crazy,and then you end up getting
murdered and like we've donethat.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I've been told by somebody that they know where I
am and it scared the shit out ofme.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So Tinder doesn't do it like that.
Tinder doesn't give youlocations.
Grinder literally puts a gridoff and if you move closer to
the person, you move closer tothat person on the grid and it
could scare you.
My mother always says she'slike you're going to die from a
grinder.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I have to tell you, and I am sick and fucking tired
of this and this is one of thereasons I love this podcast
platform and I think that weshould all be mad at social
media companies I includeFacebook, twitter, instagram and
every fucking social mediaplatform out there and these
(08:49):
dating platforms.
They should be required to IDverify everybody.
I 100 is not hard to do it, youknow Scruff actually is the
only one that actually does itand you have to go in and you
have to do a thumbs up, likewith your current picture, and
like different things handgestures to show it's a current
photo.
(09:09):
They don't make you do ID, butyou know what this would do.
This would stop childtrafficking.
This would stop like creeposlike because you had your
identity stolen with Grinder.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
There have been people out there.
So the way the grinder works isyou go on there, you chat with
somebody, like, hey, you want tohook up, ok, let's meet at this
place.
There have been people who areserial killers that would go on
Grinder and they'd be like, hey,you want to come over to my
place?
And they would put up a fakepicture of somebody really hot
and somebody would get luredinto it and be like, yeah, I'll
(09:41):
come over, and the next you knowthey're being murdered, they're
being murdered, but nobody saysto usually goes hey, I'm going
to go hook up with this guy, ifyou don't care for me, in 10
minutes I'm going to be at thisplace and we'll come back to
this.
I think we want to get furtherwith the story, with these, with
like the, the, the murders thathave happened.
But it's a scary thing thatpeople need to be aware of and
(10:06):
really think about it, becausewe're in a different time in the
world where people are killingpeople like it's.
It's.
It's not the same things thatwe used to be.
What's the big murder where theguy used to lure all the gay
guys in?
It was just back in the JeffreyDahmer.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Jeffrey Dahmer, yeah, I mean, look what Jeffrey
Dahmer did.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
He would lure people in and bring them back to his
house and then he would killthem and then he would dissolve
with their body in what was thechemical.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
It was Lyme.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
No, it wasn't Lyme.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
We need Bargain Bradley on here with his true
crime stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
He killed like 12 people.
The one who got away was theone who fucking finally got him
caught with work.
It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
It's crazy and it's, I think, scarier, fueled by
these apps.
Have you had any scary?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
I remember, actually, the first time I did this, it
was in Denver and I was reallynervous because I'd had Grindr
but I hadn't actually reallyused it up until that point and
I was like you know what, screwit, this guy that I flew to
Colorado with dumped me off andI put myself out there to go
visit him in Colorado.
(11:17):
I'd met him on Maid's LifeCycle and then I got there and
then he's like I'm actuallyhaving feelings about my ex
still.
So then he drove his ColoradoSprings, drove him back to
Denver, and so I got a hotel.
I was by myself, it was like aholiday weekend.
I felt, I guess, kind of lonely, upset and, like you know,
rejected.
I was like I finally put myselfout there and then went, and so
(11:39):
I was like you know what, forthe first time I'm going to open
Grindr and have some guy comeover and came over, I mean, to
the hotel and just had the doorunlocked and had him come over,
and thankfully it was fine.
You know, I was still here, butI felt it was exhilarating, but
it was also kind of terrifying.
Like I have no idea who he is.
He's just some guy walking downthe street near the hotel and I
(12:01):
was like, hey, you want to comeover?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
I've done this time and time again and I kicked
myself in the ass is you don'tknow who's walking through that
door, you don't know whose dooryou're walking through, and you
complete yourself in a reallybad situation.
And I would say this I have putmyself in bad situations where
I've walked to a door and it'snot the person who they portray.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I think about this a lot too.
Like I, you know, I run outrooms in my house or I've done
Airbnb and like I've got allthese people coming over all the
time and I just I'm like Iremember the very first time I
did it and it was terrifyingbecause I was like, oh my God, I
just gave the code for somestranger to come into my house
and it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Do they run ID verification for Airbnb and
stuff?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
As a host you can require, I think I just say that
they have to have like an IDloaded into their account but
it's really open, Like who canjust come on in.
And thankfully it's worked outwell.
Financially it's helped me, butthere's been a couple of times
it's been scary.
Yeah, the meth head lesbians.
And then also also the one guythat stayed for several months
(13:07):
and I remember walking by theroom.
Is that our favorite straighthot guy?
No, the straight hot guy is hotand fine he's.
I guess that's another thing welet hotter people get.
We justify it if they're hotter, right?
No, but there was one.
He stayed, like we keptextending it, but I remember I'd
walked by his bedroom door andhe'd just be sitting on the edge
(13:28):
of the bed like staring at thewall and it would freak me out.
And my mom was busy one timeand she was freaked out and she
was telling Chris, she's likeyou need to stay here with me.
I am not staying in this housealone with this guy running this
room.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, you never know, I think, okay, I have a really
good, I have a good one, I havea good one that just came to me.
So I went on a date with a guy10 years ago okay, Maybe 12
years ago, because I left Dallas, I moved to LA and then I moved
back here, right.
So when I moved back to Dallas,I got on Grindr.
I was talking to this cute guyand all of a sudden, like we
(14:04):
were having a good little banterand I was like, oh, you know,
like yeah, we were talking aboutgoing on a date and then all of
a sudden, on my phone I get atext message and I hadn't talked
, we hadn't said what our nameswere yet, and he goes hi, Blaine
.
And I was like who is it?
And the name was in my phone,but I didn't have any message
(14:28):
history.
And he goes remember me?
And I was like no, and he'slike, yeah, I'm the one you're
talking to on Grindr right now.
And I was like okay, and thenit was like we had been on this
date.
I finally remembered we were onthis date 12 years ago and what
(14:50):
it pissed me off is it was agreat date, I loved it, but then
what I used to do is, after adate, I had a separate Grindr
profile on my iPad and I wouldgo on my iPad and see if the guy
got on Grindr right after thedate, to see if he was like
trolling for other ass.
I just what has he got on theGrindr?
Just to see if you got on theGrindr, Great point.
(15:13):
Okay, Toxic trait, you can callit what it is.
I just wanted, look, I justwanted a guy that like had a
date, that like was like didn'thave to get right on Grindr
again.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
So I wanted to see if the guy that I had a date with
got on Grindr.
So I got on Grindr.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, but not on my account.
I got on a different account,so anyway, I didn't ever talk to
him again.
I ghosted him.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Because after the date you saw him on Grindr.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, I ghosted him because I was just like, well,
fuck you.
If you're gonna go like, lookfor another guy after a great
date, I don't wanna talk to youagain.
You're not worth my time.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I think that is a valid thing Cause he didn't put
out on the date and so he wasstill horny and I think he got
on there and he was like oh,this date ended on a great
positive note.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
We hugged, we had a little kiss.
It was a normal, fricking,normal date, but I didn't like
put out sexually and he wantedto get on Grindr.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
So hold on, let me get back to this.
So I'm horny and I wanna getboned.
What is the problem with that?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You know what, to each their own at the time, I
think what?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
the problem is, is your emotions are out?
I mean a lot of your own.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
At the time in my life I just wanted a guy that
could go on a date and have anormal date and not have to go
and have sex all the time.
So that's what my theory was.
That was my thing.
So I didn't wanna talk to theguy again.
I don't wanna waste my time ona Grindr search.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
How do you know that?
Maybe he had another friend onGrindr?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
God, would you do that again now?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
No, no, no, no.
Now I'm like very much moreprogressive, so like I wouldn't
give a shit now, but back then Ijust like cared.
That's a great question.
I've evolved since then, buthey, I'm sorry you're taking his
side.
This guy's a fucking creep.
Because then here we are, 12years later and he's texting me
(17:03):
hi, blaine, blah, blah, blah.
I'm talking to you on Grindrand I'm like okay, and then he's
like you're the one thatghosted me 12 years ago.
And then he's like I know whereyou are right now.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Then I would say he's a freak.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
And it was the creepiest thing.
And then I said you know whatI'm sorry, we'll just call him C
and I said you know, I reallysorry about it.
And then I realized what I haddone and why I had done it,
which I think it was justifiedfrom my perspective.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Either way, he held onto that for 12 years.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
For 12 years and he was like waiting for this moment
and the text just got creepier.
And then, because I was so likeunnerved by the situation, I
agreed to go on a date with himas a makeup.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
You're an idiot.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I know, I know, why would you ever do that?
He said he wanted to go on amakeup date and I said, okay, I
guess I owe you that.
And then I kept telling myfriend.
I said I think I'm gonna getmurdered on this date, like for
real.
And then I was like, maybe I'llgo at the restaurant across
from my apartment.
But then I was like, well, thenhe'll know where I live, so we
(18:11):
don't need that.
And then I finally just saidyou know what I said nothing
will make up for what I did toyou 12 years ago.
So I would like to set you free.
I think it's best for me to bowout and say that I hurt you,
I'm sorry, and let's just not dothis date, because nothing I
will ever do will ever make thisa relationship.
(18:34):
And then he sent me some likeweird GIF.
That actually was a nasty GIF.
That was basically like I'mgonna murder you, gif.
And I was like you know, it wasthe scariest thing ever.
So I was not wrong.
The guy was crazy, clearly, andhe wasn't the one.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Clearly he was a psycho clearly I'm just gonna
lock you up in his house andkeep you there, and you'll never
leave playing.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
You'll never leave.
I've been waiting for you for12 years to find you on the
grinder.
I mean, it's a scariest.
That was a scary game moment.
I mean, whoo girl, that was soscary.
Do you have a scary game moment?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Mine was a little different, a lot different.
So I do remember when I firstmoved to Dallas I was on Grindr
and again Grindr, she was havingme feet.
Miles you are away from thisperson.
So I would entertain peoplejust to try to break them down.
(19:37):
Not break them down, but justtry to see who they really are.
I'd love to hit, but I canfigure out people real quick.
So I got a message from thisguy and he was very good looking
and I'm like, oh, mine's reallygood looking guy from 4,200
miles in messaging.
(19:57):
So then I would go buy themoney, rent right, just want the
money.
So I'll give you that, so Iwould go rent, fine, and I'd say
, and I was like can you set afilter, like certain types of
them, geographically?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Like I'll get you another one, but I'm like this
age, career, about life, that,whatever, and that's how you do
it.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
You can, but there is nobody putting filters on
looking for how many of these1,200 miles away, that's not
happening.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, they were looking for you.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Let me go get those.
Thank you, Thank you, you guysare all looking good.
So he basically says hey, I waslooking in the DFW area.
I think you're very goodlooking.
I would like to get that.
That's also a good idea.
I would like to get a panelreview.
When I come in on Monday nightand I was like it's fucking
(20:55):
Saturday, why are you playingMonday nights?
And you're 1,400 miles awayfrom me and I'm like what the
hell is going on and I was likeI don't know, I thought we were
in the shit, so what's?
going on through my head is thisis some 90 year old man,
because we get a lot of thosewho just wants to entertain them
(21:15):
with our time and just wants tochit chat.
So I was like whatever, so Iplayed a lot of them.
I was like sure you can playMonday night.
I'll regret doing it with you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You have a jet.
If he had a jet, I'd be okaywith that.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And he messaged me and said I'm in the ethereal me
town.
Like I came in late tonight, Ican't do dinner now, but do you
want to come over to my, myHotel room and have some drinks?
I'm like, mind you, he was verygood looking pictures really.
(21:51):
But I was like, and I'm one run, like I Want to see you this
way.
I can't like, I can't fightthat, like, I want to see you.
This is just to see it.
So I was like, alright, I'mgonna wind up going to a
murderous house or murderershotel room, or I'm gonna go to a
90-year-old man.
It's like it's gonna be one orthe other.
(22:12):
There's this, this guy who'snot gonna be, and I have a
picture of him too.
I'll show that.
So I said to Kaylee I was likewell, this is where I'm going,
this is the hotel room, this isthe hotel number, this is where
I'm gonna be.
If you don't hear from me in 30minutes holidays, check with me
first call, please.
(22:32):
So on my way out there, hetests me and said hey, Can you
grab a wine opener?
Because I don't have a wineopener, but I have wine and I
was like Ashley, that's a weapon.
I could jam it in your head.
Yes, I would grab that one.
It's absolutely.
And I mean he was saying rightaround, right around TFW.
(22:54):
I think was like crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Okay, first of all red flag.
Can we say First of all, if hewas at the crescent, the Ritz
Carlton, really, hotel Zaza,like these are all like green
flags, right, anything that islike the Anatole, that would be
another really good one.
Staying at DFW airport at theDason red flag, no private jet
(23:25):
red flag.
Okay, continue.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I go and I never forget.
I wrote off fortune for theDason and I.
This is how I'm going to die.
I'm going to get murder and thedisease, how, and I'll never
forget, I had the court, thecourt part of the bottle opener
Sticky out this, because I waslike so go to the door.
(23:54):
And I took a deep breath, notto the door, open the door.
It was the hot guy, so it wasreal, this was in and Legit.
(24:15):
I was at there, was like, oh mygod, I did not think that this
was you and I was like, why didyou text me from 1400 miles away
?
And here's what he said yearsI'm in the military.
I was in Arlington, virginia.
I had to come to DFW to do alayover that I was supposed to
be here for five days beforegoing to Germany on the military
(24:39):
flight and I was like I Thoughtyou're gonna kill me.
And he I'm telling you he wasGorgeous, I Wanted, can I tell
you I had a similar moment witha guy that I was deployed to
Korea.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I'm Penelope, if you don't know, penelope from SNL.
I do have these moments, but no, but they're always real
moments.
I'm not trying to one up, butthe guy was being deployed to
Korea.
I fell in love with them.
He had the nicest you knoweggplant of anyone ever and I
spent seven magical days withhim before he got deployed to
(25:23):
Korea for the rest of His careerin the military.
It was similar.
I'm just saying I'm not tryingto one up you.
I just he was tall.
He's taller than me, six eight,and I'm six five, but I didn't
think he was a murderer and hewasn't at the days in, but I
guess that explains all of thosered flags.
By the way, it does.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But the thing is, you gotta you really like why
didn't he tell you that before?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Girl, you need to ask questions is a game.
Now.
Then I have another scary gaystory of a stupid thing that I
did dumb, dumb, dumb.
I was 30 and I went to Montrealfor my 30th birthday party and
I, it was wild with my two bestfriends.
I mean, we were just wild everynight.
I mean, that city is so muchfun.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
There is a gay and straight man.
It is just men wanting to havesex and they had the water there
.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I didn't see a gym, but god, they were just
beautiful and they're all likelayered up all year.
I don't understand how they getso hot.
Anyway, it was just magicaltimes with many different men,
anyway, but I I had had amultiple night and I just we
started early.
So I was like this guy.
(26:38):
I was going over to his placeat the, you know like the
Olympic Park they basicallybuilt the Olympic Stadium in
Montreal like way out of thecity.
So I took a cab Way out of there, like 30 minutes out, and I was
like whoo, this is really scaryand you know it's basically a
bandit, so everything'sdisintegrating, like all the
(27:00):
bobsled stuff is disintegratingover there, and I'm like hum,
and there's like this weirdapartment complex I go into and
I don't know if you guys eversaw that sex in the city episode
.
We're the, we're the gay.
One walks in and there's allthose dolls.
Basically it was that there waslike he was like a costume
designer, so there was likeheaddresses and dolls on all
(27:20):
this red chiffon and I was likeUm.
Like in the middle of nowhereand I was like, and I took a cab
, so I didn't know if this islike pre-ooper, and I was like I
don't know how to get back.
I'm really scared.
I think I'm gonna get murderedhere in the middle of Montreal.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
I think I'll do too, because the one that, as you're
telling your story and showingup and like there's all these
weird dolls and stuff, made methink of another one.
This was after a In LA like biggay Super Bowl party.
I went up there with a friendbut then, of course, we got
split up and he went off and didhis own thing, meanwhile my
(28:01):
phone's dying.
I went to Motherload, which, asyou know, you go in and I swear
you get one drink and you don'tremember anything the rest of
night.
You're blackjack.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I have to say Motherload in Los Angeles.
It's like they put some kind ofdrug in the booze or like ever
clear and everybody I've everknown.
I had a friend, I'm not kiddingyou.
We went to Motherload afterpump once and he was throthing
at the mouth and we had to takehim via a black SUV home.
(28:30):
Yeah, we were.
We needed something fast, girl.
We couldn't wait eight minuteson an Uber X.
We were like.
We were like we need something,pull up and take him home
because it was bad.
I do.
What is it about that place?
You black out, everybody blacksout at Motherload.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Two drinks for me.
We need a comment.
Anyone that's ever been toMotherload?
I would love a comment on this.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
If you've been to Motherload, do you black out
after two drinks, yes or no?
It's a poll for sure.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
After that I started going out, I had to attach him
like had to attach my phone tome, like I needed everything on
a leash and attached because Iwould just lose everything well
known West Hollywood thing aboutMotherload and we don't know
how it happens.
Anyway.
So Super Bowl Party, thenMotherload, and, of course, me
(29:13):
being me, I can't just go to aSuper Bowl Party normal clothes.
It was when Gaga was performing, so I had to like dress up.
I did a whole little eye makeupand, of course and this was a
day that it was actually rainingthat night too, I think it was
raining then but I ended upgoing back with I don't even
know how I met him, but someguys place the most cluttered
(29:35):
like I couldn't even get likejust getting on the bed.
I felt like you had to like jumpover piles of stuff.
But I was so out of it.
And then, because it was likeSuper Bowl theme or whatever, he
turned into this whole likerole play and he's like, yeah,
you've been a bad player.
And I was like, yeah, coach,like how are you gonna?
I've been a bad player, how areyou?
(29:56):
It was ridiculous.
And then somehow I came to mysenses and all of a sudden it
was like a light bulb went offand I like I felt like I was
watching myself in thissituation.
I was like what the fuck areyou doing?
And I was like Okay, bye, I haveto leave.
And then my phone was at like2%.
Somehow I had enough to getback down to Long Beach, but I
(30:18):
didn't have a key into myapartment.
But I didn't, yeah, but Ididn't have a key to my
apartment because it was with afriend that I got split up with.
And so then I have to go intomy next door neighbor, knocking
on the door like four in themorning, like wet.
I have makeup running down myface from the Gaga makeup.
Can I please stay over?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
It was tragic.
I mean we are adventurous,we're adventurous group and I
think it's.
I think it's good.
We're also men.
So I think we like we have thebenefit of that because we feel
a little invincible.
I actually posted a talk theother day about like I wasn't
afraid when I was in, like myfriend when I was in South
Africa I wasn't afraid, like shewas, because I think a woman in
(31:01):
South Africa is you got to be alittle more careful than a guy.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
This is why lesbians are the way they are they're
scared women.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
I think I'd be more afraid of a lesbian, by the way,
because those women can likeliterally don't kill you.
Like a lesbian like I was.
We were just at wine walk onThursday and I walked into the
lesbian bar and I literally waslike intimidated and terrified,
like I was like why are we atSue Ellen's?
They stamped my hand with agiant boobs thing and I said, is
(31:31):
that necessary?
And she's like yes, and I waslike Okay, I was like really
lesbians, like they're actuallylike way more intimidating than
anyone.
They'll, they'll, they'll rulethe world for sure.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The lesbians are the scariestones.
For sure they stick together.
Have you ever seen the SouthPark episode Lesbos?
(31:54):
It's literally, yeah, it'sbasically like 300 the movie,
but it's lesbians and it'shysterical and super true, they
can rule the world for sure.
We love our lesbians, but we'llthrow all the parties.
But I do think, like we do get afalse sense of probably like
invincibility because we're likedudes, we run in packs of guys,
(32:15):
and then I think that we think,oh, like nothing can touch us.
And then, guess what?
You end up face down in LadyBird Lake with some freaking
anti anxiety meds and then,because the police are the
police, they say oh, it was anaccidental drowning.
And that is just bullshit,because they need news coverage
(32:35):
and stuff for the police toactually do something and do
something really to investigate.
And they're trying, they'rereally trying.
But then you know, the newscycle continues the cycle and
then bullshit comes up and youknow, people forget.
And that's why I was actuallykind of glad it came up in
TikTok the other day with thisreporter, because I was like, oh
, my God, yes, this story isreally important to me because
(32:57):
we shouldn't forget about thesethings, and it just what had
means to happen.
Another guy like there's nineso far, nine mysterious nine, no
no in Austin alone and they alldrowned.
It's all Lady Bird Lake and theyput up fitting, they've added
lighting and all of these peoplewere on rainy street, they were
(33:18):
all drinking, and then they alljust randomly walked into Lady
Bird Lake to enjoy.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Do we have any like because it's been such a downer
episode?
Is there any like positiveangle weekend?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
We're all alive and we're all in kind of middle life
, so we've made it halfway there.
Yeah, we're more aware of oursurrounding.
You two have boyfriends, so youshould be good.
I have a potential, so maybe,like, I'll settle down
eventually.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
And if every anybody who comments below.
If you comment, we are going todraw one person out of the
comments to send you a freecoffee gaze month.
So if you comment below andlike our, our guests, you will
be entered to possibly hold acoffee or a gaze month.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Yeah, so many of them .
I'm actually really excitedabout that, because it's just
some coffee with gaze.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
One free order, right , because we messed up the print
, so here's love you.
This bachelor adds the gay bars.
They really pissed me off.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
You freaking.
Open your mouth and Prada comesout, don't?
Speaker 3 (00:07):
come between Bargain Bradley and my mate.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
And welcome to another podcast with Coffee with
Gays.
I am Adam, we have Ryan andtoday's host, we have Blaine.
What are we talking about,blaine?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
Today we're talking about scared gays, because I
think that there's a lot ofactually really scary stories
around the gay community and onethat actually just hit my
TikTok feed yesterday about aguy named Jonathan Honey.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Yet another person's body was pulled from Ladybird
Lake this weekend.
33-year-old Jonathan Honey wasreported missing March 31.
And his body was found in thelake Saturday night.
This comes a few weeks after30-year-old Jason John was also
found in the lake after a nightout.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
There are guys that have been going missing in
Austin and Chicago and Floridalately and there's been talks of
if there's a serial killer ornot.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Well, Austin's not that far from us.
I know, that's a little edgy.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And I'm going to Chicago this week.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
And you're going to Chicago.
Market days is coming up.
You should be very careful.
I don't want to be a conspiracytheorist, for sure, but I'm
sorry.
This Austin thing is really,really weird.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
Yeah, because I'm already got nervous about the
Friday night one.
It sounds like we're going tothe sketchy neighborhood.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah, then definitely be very careful.
I did make Ryan reshare hislocation with me, so I do have
that now.
So but yeah, jonathan Honey waslike a 33-year-old, like really
attractive, fit guy.
He was down on Rainey Street.
We were there for our photoshoot and it is the gay
neighborhood.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Rainey Street is downtown.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
Downtown Austin.
If you're familiar, it's whereall the bars are.
There are gay bars, but alsonot gay bars too.
He was there for a bachelorparty and I'm like a little
unclear if he's gay or not.
He looked gay but he does havethat fish picture that they've
been showing.
But he's an attractive guy.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I've just been fishing.
What are you talking?
Speaker 1 (02:11):
about he could be like you.
For sure he could be like astraight looking gay dude.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
So for anybody who has never been to Austin, there
is the, I guess the river.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
It's a river and they call it Lady Bird Lake, but
it's basically like a river.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
It's a river that runs through Austin.
That I would say is a lowerpart of Austin.
It kind of divides the city,but divides from the lower to
the upper and most of the cityis in the upper part of the city
.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
So this guy, like basically, was on Rainey Street.
He went to go get food.
He had been drinking.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Well, he was out with the bachelor party.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
He goes to get food by himself and he wanders to
Lady Bird Lake, which is like1.8 miles away it's not like a
short walk and he somehow justgoes into the lake and drowns.
And what kills me is this isn'tthe first one.
There's actually nine of thesedeaths that have happened to men
(03:07):
in their 30s since December of2022.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
You would think this should happen to people in their
80s when they have an outside,even if you're drunk.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
It's like you're not just wandering around and like,
oh, like I just ran into a lakeand I'm dead, so the toxicology
came out, and I'm going tostitch the video from the local
ABC affiliate that actually thereporter that I follow that
stitched that was on TikTok thatit just angered me so much
because at the very end of hisvideo he goes oh and so now the
(03:41):
police are doing new safetymeasures, adding lighting and
adding fencing to Lady Bird Laketo stop that.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
The autopsy has just been released for 33-year-old
Jonathan Honey, who was founddead in Lady Bird Lake here in
Austin, texas.
Let's talk about the detailsFor those who don't know, my
name is Ford Sanders.
I am a news reporter for theABC News affiliate here in
Austin, texas, kvu News.
So back in April, just a couplemonths ago, 33-year-old Jonathan
Honey his body was actuallyfound in Lady Bird Lake.
He was here visiting from theDC area on a bachelor trip.
(04:09):
He was reported missing onMarch 31st and the Austin Police
Department says that he wasdrinking and went off to go find
food.
And a day later they found the33-year-old dead in the lake
near the Rainy Street District.
So when it comes to the actualautopsy, it ruled Honey's death
as an accidental drowning, butit said he had alcohol in his
system.
It said he had amphetamines inhis system, which was in the
line with his medical diagnosisof having ADHD, but also
(04:31):
hydroxyzine, which is usually agood anti-anxiety medication.
But Jason John, back inFebruary, was also found in the
lake and it was also classifiedas an accidental drowning, still
leaving a lot of questions forfamily and friends of all of
these victims and more work tobe done on those trails for
safety measures and precaution.
Speaker 4 (04:46):
Some Austinites and city leaders have been demanding
improvements to the RainyStreet area, including better
lighting and adding cameras.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
And I don't think it's a safety issue.
And there was this guy and I'mjust gonna add a little fuel to
this fire because there was acontent creator, his name's Ken
Wags, this dude who I think Ikind of showed you and you're
like is he gay or not?
He's not gay because he had agirlfriend at one point and he
came out and he had this wholeconspiracy theory about serial
(05:16):
killers in Chicago and then hewent to the Austin Killers and
he basically was like sayingthat these killers were out and
it was.
It was wild when he wasclaiming and he was also saying
that these private investigatorswere visiting and he was
showing business cards.
He got canceled big timebecause he was like also saying
that his app was going to helpfind them.
(05:37):
So he was tying it to business.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Why would the police?
Were the police upset aboutthat or not?
Speaker 1 (05:43):
So the police were like no, we don't need your help
.
And then he said that policewere also working with him.
So everybody thinks he's supershady and he was doing it for a
following.
So he basically hasn't beenposting on TikTok anymore and
then started doing other stuffon Instagram and he said hey,
I'm not doing this anymore.
But I will say this is weird.
(06:04):
Like, can we just admit?
This is weird?
And the guy Jonathan that diedat Lady Bird Lake and they just
released these toxicologyresults he had anti-anxiety
medicine in his system which hewasn't prescribed and like,
we're still ruling this as anaccidental drowning and it's not
a homicide.
And yet it's the ninth guythat's gone missing.
(06:26):
So there's another guy actuallyin Florida, an older man who
has been missing from a gay barcalled Cruisers.
He's an older gentlemanactually.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
This is awesome.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
No, this one's in Florida, another place I go to.
They keep like popping up and Ithink, you know, maybe it's
just social media and that'skind of what our topic is today,
which is why I wanted to bringit up.
But like, we have to be likereally careful because there's a
lot of scary situations and weneed to be really aware.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
But you have to also remember, for a lot of people
who are that may be listening,that's not gay, is.
There are apps out there, suchas Grinder, and the best thing
that I ever said, that I everheard, was Grinder should have
been named Fruit by the Foot,because Grinder actually puts
you in location by feet awayfrom somebody.
(07:19):
So, in turn of this, if I hadGrinder on right now and Blaine
did, we would be probably threeor four feet from and it would
show you in the app how far awayyou are.
So the scary part about this isyou have a lot of people who
can find you, your location,where you are and, trust me,
I've done it.
I have hunted down some peoplein my life, but not to kill them
(07:43):
, but just to be like I thinkyou're not out of the clock and
I think you're lying about whoyou are and I'm going to find
you.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
No, I mean it's crazy to think because we put a lot
of like trust in that, likewe're going on this app agreeing
to share our locations, theother guy's locations Also.
We can go, you know, hook upwith someone and you never know
when that person could be crazy,and then you end up getting
murdered and like we've donethat.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I've been told by somebody that they know where I
am and it scared the shit out ofme.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
So Tinder doesn't do it like that.
Tinder doesn't give youlocations.
Grinder literally puts a gridoff and if you move closer to
the person, you move closer tothat person on the grid and it
could scare you.
My mother always says she'slike you're going to die from a
grinder.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
I have to tell you, and I am sick and fucking tired
of this and this is one of thereasons I love this podcast
platform and I think that weshould all be mad at social
media companies I includeFacebook, twitter, instagram and
every fucking social mediaplatform out there and these
(08:49):
dating platforms.
They should be required to IDverify everybody.
I 100 is not hard to do it, youknow Scruff actually is the
only one that actually does itand you have to go in and you
have to do a thumbs up, likewith your current picture, and
like different things handgestures to show it's a current
photo.
(09:09):
They don't make you do ID, butyou know what this would do.
This would stop childtrafficking.
This would stop like creeposlike because you had your
identity stolen with Grinder.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
There have been people out there.
So the way the grinder works isyou go on there, you chat with
somebody, like, hey, you want tohook up, ok, let's meet at this
place.
There have been people who areserial killers that would go on
Grinder and they'd be like, hey,you want to come over to my
place?
And they would put up a fakepicture of somebody really hot
and somebody would get luredinto it and be like, yeah, I'll
(09:41):
come over, and the next you knowthey're being murdered, they're
being murdered, but nobody saysto usually goes hey, I'm going
to go hook up with this guy, ifyou don't care for me, in 10
minutes I'm going to be at thisplace and we'll come back to
this.
I think we want to get furtherwith the story, with these, with
like the, the, the murders thathave happened.
But it's a scary thing thatpeople need to be aware of and
(10:06):
really think about it, becausewe're in a different time in the
world where people are killingpeople like it's.
It's.
It's not the same things thatwe used to be.
What's the big murder where theguy used to lure all the gay
guys in?
It was just back in the JeffreyDahmer.
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Jeffrey Dahmer, yeah, I mean, look what Jeffrey
Dahmer did.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
He would lure people in and bring them back to his
house and then he would killthem and then he would dissolve
with their body in what was thechemical.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
It was Lyme.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
No, it wasn't Lyme.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
We need Bargain Bradley on here with his true
crime stuff.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
He killed like 12 people.
The one who got away was theone who fucking finally got him
caught with work.
It's unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
It's crazy and it's, I think, scarier, fueled by
these apps.
Have you had any scary?
Speaker 3 (10:56):
I remember, actually, the first time I did this, it
was in Denver and I was reallynervous because I'd had Grindr
but I hadn't actually reallyused it up until that point and
I was like you know what, screwit, this guy that I flew to
Colorado with dumped me off andI put myself out there to go
visit him in Colorado.
(11:17):
I'd met him on Maid's LifeCycle and then I got there and
then he's like I'm actuallyhaving feelings about my ex
still.
So then he drove his ColoradoSprings, drove him back to
Denver, and so I got a hotel.
I was by myself, it was like aholiday weekend.
I felt, I guess, kind of lonely, upset and, like you know,
rejected.
I was like I finally put myselfout there and then went, and so
(11:39):
I was like you know what, forthe first time I'm going to open
Grindr and have some guy comeover and came over, I mean, to
the hotel and just had the doorunlocked and had him come over,
and thankfully it was fine.
You know, I was still here, butI felt it was exhilarating, but
it was also kind of terrifying.
Like I have no idea who he is.
He's just some guy walking downthe street near the hotel and I
(12:01):
was like, hey, you want to comeover?
Speaker 2 (12:03):
I've done this time and time again and I kicked
myself in the ass is you don'tknow who's walking through that
door, you don't know whose dooryou're walking through, and you
complete yourself in a reallybad situation.
And I would say this I have putmyself in bad situations where
I've walked to a door and it'snot the person who they portray.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
I think about this a lot too.
Like I, you know, I run outrooms in my house or I've done
Airbnb and like I've got allthese people coming over all the
time and I just I'm like Iremember the very first time I
did it and it was terrifyingbecause I was like, oh my God, I
just gave the code for somestranger to come into my house
and it is what it is.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Do they run ID verification for Airbnb and
stuff?
Speaker 3 (12:45):
As a host you can require, I think I just say that
they have to have like an IDloaded into their account but
it's really open, Like who canjust come on in.
And thankfully it's worked outwell.
Financially it's helped me, butthere's been a couple of times
it's been scary.
Yeah, the meth head lesbians.
And then also also the one guythat stayed for several months
(13:07):
and I remember walking by theroom.
Is that our favorite straighthot guy?
No, the straight hot guy is hotand fine he's.
I guess that's another thing welet hotter people get.
We justify it if they're hotter, right?
No, but there was one.
He stayed, like we keptextending it, but I remember I'd
walked by his bedroom door andhe'd just be sitting on the edge
(13:28):
of the bed like staring at thewall and it would freak me out.
And my mom was busy one timeand she was freaked out and she
was telling Chris, she's likeyou need to stay here with me.
I am not staying in this housealone with this guy running this
room.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, you never know, I think, okay, I have a really
good, I have a good one, I havea good one that just came to me.
So I went on a date with a guy10 years ago okay, Maybe 12
years ago, because I left Dallas, I moved to LA and then I moved
back here, right.
So when I moved back to Dallas,I got on Grindr.
I was talking to this cute guyand all of a sudden, like we
(14:04):
were having a good little banterand I was like, oh, you know,
like yeah, we were talking aboutgoing on a date and then all of
a sudden, on my phone I get atext message and I hadn't talked
, we hadn't said what our nameswere yet, and he goes hi, Blaine
.
And I was like who is it?
And the name was in my phone,but I didn't have any message
(14:28):
history.
And he goes remember me?
And I was like no, and he'slike, yeah, I'm the one you're
talking to on Grindr right now.
And I was like okay, and thenit was like we had been on this
date.
I finally remembered we were onthis date 12 years ago and what
(14:50):
it pissed me off is it was agreat date, I loved it, but then
what I used to do is, after adate, I had a separate Grindr
profile on my iPad and I wouldgo on my iPad and see if the guy
got on Grindr right after thedate, to see if he was like
trolling for other ass.
I just what has he got on theGrindr?
Just to see if you got on theGrindr, Great point.
(15:13):
Okay, Toxic trait, you can callit what it is.
I just wanted, look, I justwanted a guy that like had a
date, that like was like didn'thave to get right on Grindr
again.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
So I wanted to see if the guy that I had a date with
got on Grindr.
So I got on Grindr.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, but not on my account.
I got on a different account,so anyway, I didn't ever talk to
him again.
I ghosted him.
Speaker 3 (15:35):
Because after the date you saw him on Grindr.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, I ghosted him because I was just like, well,
fuck you.
If you're gonna go like, lookfor another guy after a great
date, I don't wanna talk to youagain.
You're not worth my time.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
I think that is a valid thing Cause he didn't put
out on the date and so he wasstill horny and I think he got
on there and he was like oh,this date ended on a great
positive note.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
We hugged, we had a little kiss.
It was a normal, fricking,normal date, but I didn't like
put out sexually and he wantedto get on Grindr.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
So hold on, let me get back to this.
So I'm horny and I wanna getboned.
What is the problem with that?
Speaker 1 (16:09):
You know what, to each their own at the time, I
think what?
Speaker 2 (16:11):
the problem is, is your emotions are out?
I mean a lot of your own.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
At the time in my life I just wanted a guy that
could go on a date and have anormal date and not have to go
and have sex all the time.
So that's what my theory was.
That was my thing.
So I didn't wanna talk to theguy again.
I don't wanna waste my time ona Grindr search.
Speaker 2 (16:32):
How do you know that?
Maybe he had another friend onGrindr?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (16:38):
God, would you do that again now?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
No, no, no, no.
Now I'm like very much moreprogressive, so like I wouldn't
give a shit now, but back then Ijust like cared.
That's a great question.
I've evolved since then, buthey, I'm sorry you're taking his
side.
This guy's a fucking creep.
Because then here we are, 12years later and he's texting me
(17:03):
hi, blaine, blah, blah, blah.
I'm talking to you on Grindrand I'm like okay, and then he's
like you're the one thatghosted me 12 years ago.
And then he's like I know whereyou are right now.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Then I would say he's a freak.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
And it was the creepiest thing.
And then I said you know whatI'm sorry, we'll just call him C
and I said you know, I reallysorry about it.
And then I realized what I haddone and why I had done it,
which I think it was justifiedfrom my perspective.
Speaker 3 (17:31):
Either way, he held onto that for 12 years.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
For 12 years and he was like waiting for this moment
and the text just got creepier.
And then, because I was so likeunnerved by the situation, I
agreed to go on a date with himas a makeup.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
You're an idiot.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
I know, I know, why would you ever do that?
He said he wanted to go on amakeup date and I said, okay, I
guess I owe you that.
And then I kept telling myfriend.
I said I think I'm gonna getmurdered on this date, like for
real.
And then I was like, maybe I'llgo at the restaurant across
from my apartment.
But then I was like, well, thenhe'll know where I live, so we
(18:11):
don't need that.
And then I finally just saidyou know what I said nothing
will make up for what I did toyou 12 years ago.
So I would like to set you free.
I think it's best for me to bowout and say that I hurt you,
I'm sorry, and let's just not dothis date, because nothing I
will ever do will ever make thisa relationship.
(18:34):
And then he sent me some likeweird GIF.
That actually was a nasty GIF.
That was basically like I'mgonna murder you, gif.
And I was like you know, it wasthe scariest thing ever.
So I was not wrong.
The guy was crazy, clearly, andhe wasn't the one.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Clearly he was a psycho clearly I'm just gonna
lock you up in his house andkeep you there, and you'll never
leave playing.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
You'll never leave.
I've been waiting for you for12 years to find you on the
grinder.
I mean, it's a scariest.
That was a scary game moment.
I mean, whoo girl, that was soscary.
Do you have a scary game moment?
Speaker 2 (19:16):
Mine was a little different, a lot different.
So I do remember when I firstmoved to Dallas I was on Grindr
and again Grindr, she was havingme feet.
Miles you are away from thisperson.
So I would entertain peoplejust to try to break them down.
(19:37):
Not break them down, but justtry to see who they really are.
I'd love to hit, but I canfigure out people real quick.
So I got a message from thisguy and he was very good looking
and I'm like, oh, mine's reallygood looking guy from 4,200
miles in messaging.
(19:57):
So then I would go buy themoney, rent right, just want the
money.
So I'll give you that, so Iwould go rent, fine, and I'd say
, and I was like can you set afilter, like certain types of
them, geographically?
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Like I'll get you another one, but I'm like this
age, career, about life, that,whatever, and that's how you do
it.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
You can, but there is nobody putting filters on
looking for how many of these1,200 miles away, that's not
happening.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Yeah, they were looking for you.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Let me go get those.
Thank you, Thank you, you guysare all looking good.
So he basically says hey, I waslooking in the DFW area.
I think you're very goodlooking.
I would like to get that.
That's also a good idea.
I would like to get a panelreview.
When I come in on Monday nightand I was like it's fucking
(20:55):
Saturday, why are you playingMonday nights?
And you're 1,400 miles awayfrom me and I'm like what the
hell is going on and I was likeI don't know, I thought we were
in the shit, so what's?
going on through my head is thisis some 90 year old man,
because we get a lot of thosewho just wants to entertain them
(21:15):
with our time and just wants tochit chat.
So I was like whatever, so Iplayed a lot of them.
I was like sure you can playMonday night.
I'll regret doing it with you.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You have a jet.
If he had a jet, I'd be okaywith that.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And he messaged me and said I'm in the ethereal me
town.
Like I came in late tonight, Ican't do dinner now, but do you
want to come over to my, myHotel room and have some drinks?
I'm like, mind you, he was verygood looking pictures really.
(21:51):
But I was like, and I'm one run, like I Want to see you this
way.
I can't like, I can't fightthat, like, I want to see you.
This is just to see it.
So I was like, alright, I'mgonna wind up going to a
murderous house or murderershotel room, or I'm gonna go to a
90-year-old man.
It's like it's gonna be one orthe other.
(22:12):
There's this, this guy who'snot gonna be, and I have a
picture of him too.
I'll show that.
So I said to Kaylee I was likewell, this is where I'm going,
this is the hotel room, this isthe hotel number, this is where
I'm gonna be.
If you don't hear from me in 30minutes holidays, check with me
first call, please.
(22:32):
So on my way out there, hetests me and said hey, Can you
grab a wine opener?
Because I don't have a wineopener, but I have wine and I
was like Ashley, that's a weapon.
I could jam it in your head.
Yes, I would grab that one.
It's absolutely.
And I mean he was saying rightaround, right around TFW.
(22:54):
I think was like crazy.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Okay, first of all red flag.
Can we say First of all, if hewas at the crescent, the Ritz
Carlton, really, hotel Zaza,like these are all like green
flags, right, anything that islike the Anatole, that would be
another really good one.
Staying at DFW airport at theDason red flag, no private jet
(23:25):
red flag.
Okay, continue.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I go and I never forget.
I wrote off fortune for theDason and I.
This is how I'm going to die.
I'm going to get murder and thedisease, how, and I'll never
forget, I had the court, thecourt part of the bottle opener
Sticky out this, because I waslike so go to the door.
(23:54):
And I took a deep breath, notto the door, open the door.
It was the hot guy, so it wasreal, this was in and Legit.
(24:15):
I was at there, was like, oh mygod, I did not think that this
was you and I was like, why didyou text me from 1400 miles away
?
And here's what he said yearsI'm in the military.
I was in Arlington, virginia.
I had to come to DFW to do alayover that I was supposed to
be here for five days beforegoing to Germany on the military
(24:39):
flight and I was like I Thoughtyou're gonna kill me.
And he I'm telling you he wasGorgeous, I Wanted, can I tell
you I had a similar moment witha guy that I was deployed to
Korea.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I'm Penelope, if you don't know, penelope from SNL.
I do have these moments, but no, but they're always real
moments.
I'm not trying to one up, butthe guy was being deployed to
Korea.
I fell in love with them.
He had the nicest you knoweggplant of anyone ever and I
spent seven magical days withhim before he got deployed to
(25:23):
Korea for the rest of His careerin the military.
It was similar.
I'm just saying I'm not tryingto one up you.
I just he was tall.
He's taller than me, six eight,and I'm six five, but I didn't
think he was a murderer and hewasn't at the days in, but I
guess that explains all of thosered flags.
By the way, it does.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
But the thing is, you gotta you really like why
didn't he tell you that before?
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Girl, you need to ask questions is a game.
Now.
Then I have another scary gaystory of a stupid thing that I
did dumb, dumb, dumb.
I was 30 and I went to Montrealfor my 30th birthday party and
I, it was wild with my two bestfriends.
I mean, we were just wild everynight.
I mean, that city is so muchfun.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
There is a gay and straight man.
It is just men wanting to havesex and they had the water there
.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I didn't see a gym, but god, they were just
beautiful and they're all likelayered up all year.
I don't understand how they getso hot.
Anyway, it was just magicaltimes with many different men,
anyway, but I I had had amultiple night and I just we
started early.
So I was like this guy.
(26:38):
I was going over to his placeat the, you know like the
Olympic Park they basicallybuilt the Olympic Stadium in
Montreal like way out of thecity.
So I took a cab Way out of there, like 30 minutes out, and I was
like whoo, this is really scaryand you know it's basically a
bandit, so everything'sdisintegrating, like all the
(27:00):
bobsled stuff is disintegratingover there, and I'm like hum,
and there's like this weirdapartment complex I go into and
I don't know if you guys eversaw that sex in the city episode
.
We're the, we're the gay.
One walks in and there's allthose dolls.
Basically it was that there waslike he was like a costume
designer, so there was likeheaddresses and dolls on all
(27:20):
this red chiffon and I was likeUm.
Like in the middle of nowhereand I was like, and I took a cab
, so I didn't know if this islike pre-ooper, and I was like I
don't know how to get back.
I'm really scared.
I think I'm gonna get murderedhere in the middle of Montreal.
Speaker 3 (27:41):
I think I'll do too, because the one that, as you're
telling your story and showingup and like there's all these
weird dolls and stuff, made methink of another one.
This was after a In LA like biggay Super Bowl party.
I went up there with a friendbut then, of course, we got
split up and he went off and didhis own thing, meanwhile my
(28:01):
phone's dying.
I went to Motherload, which, asyou know, you go in and I swear
you get one drink and you don'tremember anything the rest of
night.
You're blackjack.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I have to say Motherload in Los Angeles.
It's like they put some kind ofdrug in the booze or like ever
clear and everybody I've everknown.
I had a friend, I'm not kiddingyou.
We went to Motherload afterpump once and he was throthing
at the mouth and we had to takehim via a black SUV home.
(28:30):
Yeah, we were.
We needed something fast, girl.
We couldn't wait eight minuteson an Uber X.
We were like.
We were like we need something,pull up and take him home
because it was bad.
I do.
What is it about that place?
You black out, everybody blacksout at Motherload.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Two drinks for me.
We need a comment.
Anyone that's ever been toMotherload?
I would love a comment on this.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
If you've been to Motherload, do you black out
after two drinks, yes or no?
It's a poll for sure.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
After that I started going out, I had to attach him
like had to attach my phone tome, like I needed everything on
a leash and attached because Iwould just lose everything well
known West Hollywood thing aboutMotherload and we don't know
how it happens.
Anyway.
So Super Bowl Party, thenMotherload, and, of course, me
(29:13):
being me, I can't just go to aSuper Bowl Party normal clothes.
It was when Gaga was performing, so I had to like dress up.
I did a whole little eye makeupand, of course and this was a
day that it was actually rainingthat night too, I think it was
raining then but I ended upgoing back with I don't even
know how I met him, but someguys place the most cluttered
(29:35):
like I couldn't even get likejust getting on the bed.
I felt like you had to like jumpover piles of stuff.
But I was so out of it.
And then, because it was likeSuper Bowl theme or whatever, he
turned into this whole likerole play and he's like, yeah,
you've been a bad player.
And I was like, yeah, coach,like how are you gonna?
I've been a bad player, how areyou?
(29:56):
It was ridiculous.
And then somehow I came to mysenses and all of a sudden it
was like a light bulb went offand I like I felt like I was
watching myself in thissituation.
I was like what the fuck areyou doing?
And I was like Okay, bye, I haveto leave.
And then my phone was at like2%.
Somehow I had enough to getback down to Long Beach, but I
(30:18):
didn't have a key into myapartment.
But I didn't, yeah, but Ididn't have a key to my
apartment because it was with afriend that I got split up with.
And so then I have to go intomy next door neighbor, knocking
on the door like four in themorning, like wet.
I have makeup running down myface from the Gaga makeup.
Can I please stay over?
Speaker 1 (30:39):
It was tragic.
I mean we are adventurous,we're adventurous group and I
think it's.
I think it's good.
We're also men.
So I think we like we have thebenefit of that because we feel
a little invincible.
I actually posted a talk theother day about like I wasn't
afraid when I was in, like myfriend when I was in South
Africa I wasn't afraid, like shewas, because I think a woman in
(31:01):
South Africa is you got to be alittle more careful than a guy.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
This is why lesbians are the way they are they're
scared women.
Speaker 1 (31:09):
I think I'd be more afraid of a lesbian, by the way,
because those women can likeliterally don't kill you.
Like a lesbian like I was.
We were just at wine walk onThursday and I walked into the
lesbian bar and I literally waslike intimidated and terrified,
like I was like why are we atSue Ellen's?
They stamped my hand with agiant boobs thing and I said, is
(31:31):
that necessary?
And she's like yes, and I waslike Okay, I was like really
lesbians, like they're actuallylike way more intimidating than
anyone.
They'll, they'll, they'll rulethe world for sure.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The lesbians are the scariestones.
For sure they stick together.
Have you ever seen the SouthPark episode Lesbos?
(31:54):
It's literally, yeah, it'sbasically like 300 the movie,
but it's lesbians and it'shysterical and super true, they
can rule the world for sure.
We love our lesbians, but we'llthrow all the parties.
But I do think, like we do get afalse sense of probably like
invincibility because we're likedudes, we run in packs of guys,
(32:15):
and then I think that we think,oh, like nothing can touch us.
And then, guess what?
You end up face down in LadyBird Lake with some freaking
anti anxiety meds and then,because the police are the
police, they say oh, it was anaccidental drowning.
And that is just bullshit,because they need news coverage
(32:35):
and stuff for the police toactually do something and do
something really to investigate.
And they're trying, they'rereally trying.
But then you know, the newscycle continues the cycle and
then bullshit comes up and youknow, people forget.
And that's why I was actuallykind of glad it came up in
TikTok the other day with thisreporter, because I was like, oh
, my God, yes, this story isreally important to me because
(32:57):
we shouldn't forget about thesethings, and it just what had
means to happen.
Another guy like there's nineso far, nine mysterious nine, no
no in Austin alone and they alldrowned.
It's all Lady Bird Lake and theyput up fitting, they've added
lighting and all of these peoplewere on rainy street, they were
(33:18):
all drinking, and then they alljust randomly walked into Lady
Bird Lake to enjoy.
Speaker 3 (33:23):
Do we have any like because it's been such a downer
episode?
Is there any like positiveangle weekend?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
We're all alive and we're all in kind of middle life
, so we've made it halfway there.
Yeah, we're more aware of oursurrounding.
You two have boyfriends, so youshould be good.
I have a potential, so maybe,like, I'll settle down
eventually.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
And if every anybody who comments below.
If you comment, we are going todraw one person out of the
comments to send you a freecoffee gaze month.
So if you comment below andlike our, our guests, you will
be entered to possibly hold acoffee or a gaze month.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
Yeah, so many of them .
I'm actually really excitedabout that, because it's just
some coffee with gaze.
Speaker 3 (34:10):
One free order, right , because we messed up the print
, so here's love you.
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