May 20, 2026 • 40 mins
The summer between high school and college isn't just busy—it's a profound transition that transforms both students and parents. This emotional crossroads, where students are "no longer" in high school but "not yet" in college, demands navigation through unfamiliar territory. We did a bit of a turn for this episode as Lynn interviewed Vicki about her new E-book, The Summer Before College: A Parent's Survival Guide from Deposit to Move-In. The book is a comprehensive guide that walks parents step-by-step through the entire senior summer timeline. From the Deposit to the tearful (or celebratory!) drive home after Move-in Day, the book offers a roadmap for parents feeling overwhelmed by this transitional period. In this episode we talk about the crucial shift parents must make from caretakers to coaches, how to guide without controlling, support without hovering, and listen without immediately jumping to advice-giving. The conversation explores specific strategies for developing these skills, including thoughtful questions to ask your student and communication techniques that foster independence while maintaining connection.
Thank you for listening!
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SPEAKER_03 (01:10):
Welcome to the College Parent Central Podcast.
Whether your child is justbeginning the college admission
process or is already incollege, this podcast is for
you.
You'll find food for thought andinformation about college and
about navigating that delicatebalance of guidance,
involvement, and knowing when toget out of the way.
(01:32):
Join your hosts, Vicki Nelsonand Lynn Abrahams, as they share
support and a celebration of theamazing experience of having a
child in college.
SPEAKER_00 (01:47):
Welcome to the College Parent Central Podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout all things connected to
parenting our kids as they makethat transition to college.
My name is Lynn Abrahams, and Iam a learning disability
specialist, have worked withcollege students for my whole
(02:09):
career.
And I am here not only with mycolleague and friend, but with
the person who I will beinterviewing for this podcast.
So, Vicky, why don't you firstexplain who you are, and then
I'll talk about what we're goingto talk about.
SPEAKER_02 (02:30):
So my name is Vicki Nelson.
I am the co-host of the CollegeParent Central podcast along
with Lynn and occasional otherco-hosts that join us.
And I am a college professor ofcommunication, and I have been
doing that for many years.
And so I work with studentsevery day, and I see the things
(02:54):
that work and I see the thingsthat sometimes cause them to
struggle.
And uh in addition to that, I amthe mother of three daughters
who have gone to college.
So as Lynn and I always say, weboth come to this podcast, both
with our professional hat on,having worked with college
students, and also our parenthat on, because we know it was
(03:18):
overwhelming for us when we werejust starting out, sending that
first student to college.
And so I remember that's whatgot us started saying if this is
overwhelming for us and we workin higher ed, what must it be
like for everybody else?
SPEAKER_00 (03:38):
Yes.
And the the purpose of thisepisode is going to be to talk a
little bit about a new e-bookthat has just come out.
And it is by Vicki Nelson.
And the name of the book is TheSummer Before College, a parent
survival guide from deposit tomove in.
(04:00):
And I would like to say thatfirst, this is an amazing um
compilation of such goodinformation, focusing on the
summer before college, which isthe craziest time in the world.
Okay.
Um, but I would like to saythat, you know, this ebook is a
(04:24):
fabulous read.
It's easy to understand, it'swell organized, it's it's just
got some great stuff forparents.
And I guess, Vicky, I just firstwant to ask you, you know, how
how did you come to do this?
I've been pushing you for a longtime.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
I was just gonna say I came to do it because you made
me do it.
SPEAKER_01 (04:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (04:45):
Uh so thank you for those very kind words coming
from someone who's completelyunbiased.
That's what I thought.
Um yeah, well, you were uhinstrumental in having this
happen.
I I started College ParentsCentral as a as a blog, as a
website in 2009.
(05:07):
So um I've been at this for awhile, and the the website now
has uh approximately a littleover 900 articles over over the
years, you know, gradually andslowly, one article at a time.
Uh on anything that you know, Iencounter something with a
(05:28):
student and I write a post aboutit, or I, you know, I see
something that's a problem, andit's an advice.
Uh I you know, I used to want tosay advice column, but that
dates me of thinking aboutnewspapers.
But it it's to information forcollege parents to make the
journey work.
(05:48):
And you have been telling me fora while now we should take this
information and put it in, putit, pull it together.
Um, because it's you know, it'swonderful to just bounce around
a website and read a post hereand an article there.
Um, but sometimes you wanteverything in one place.
(06:10):
And we have talked, Lynn, youand I have talked multiple times
about how important this summerbefore college is.
Um, it's that transition summer,it's that summer of, you know, I
sometimes term it like acrossroads of the crossroads
between no longer and not yet.
The the students aren't highschool anymore, but they're not
(06:33):
they're not in college.
So they've got a lot emotionallygoing on, but it's also a summer
when there's so much that has toget done.
And I think what happenssometimes is as parents, we make
it through graduation.
The you know, the spring ofsenior year is crazy.
(06:56):
You've got senior events goingon and senior trips and proms
and you know, all of this, andthen there's graduation, and
that has some mixed emotions,but you know, that's that's a
wonderful time.
And then you just want to youjust want to relax and and sit
back, and students want to, youknow, just enjoy this summer
(07:20):
that they have before they go tocollege, but there's a lot that
has to happen.
So so I try to take some of theuh some of the information uh
that uh I know matters in thesummer and pull it all together
in one place so that um parentscan have it in one place and not
(07:44):
have to look all over to seewhat they need to do and and to
think about the things that theymight easily forget need to be
something for the summer.
SPEAKER_00 (07:52):
And and not just forget, but know to for the to
know.
I I I remember feeling like Ijust did not know what to expect
when I was in that situation.
Um, I certainly didn't expecthow crazy that summer was and
how emotional, you know, it was.
Um, but in particular for firstparents, for parents who have
(08:15):
their first kids going off, um,this is a very well organized
approach to what happens beforeand through move-in day.
Um, can you tell us a little bitabout just how you organized all
this information?
SPEAKER_02 (08:34):
Um, well, that was that was the challenge when I
started.
And it interestingly, it wascomplete organized completely
differently when I started.
I was thinking in terms of,okay, what do parents need to
do?
What do parents need to thinkabout?
What do students need to do?
What do students need to thinkabout?
What conversations do they needto have?
(08:54):
And so I kind of kind of at somepoint it just clicked um that
wait a minute, it would makemore sense to think through
think through the summer as youmove through the summer.
Right.
So this all really starts withdeposit.
You know, up until then it's allabout applying and making the
(09:16):
decision and waiting and all.
And then then that May 1stdeadline comes along and
students make their deposit.
Now it's real.
You know where you're going tobe, you you know you're in,
you've made the deposit, and youstart getting different kinds of
information from the school.
And a a lot, I mean, the theamount of information that
(09:40):
students and parents receive,and mostly students receive over
the summer, is huge.
So then I decided to just set itup uh chronologically.
So it starts with uh a sectionon you know, just what to
expect, what's this summer goingto be like?
Uh, Lynn, you just mentioned howemotional it is.
(10:02):
And and so, you know, what tothink what what what do you
think this summer is is going tobe like?
And then it's got a second partthat you know are the things the
things that have to happen rightaway.
And I I sometimes I've I thinkparents aren't and students
aren't aware of the timing.
(10:24):
So this email comes and it saysyou should do this, you know,
fill out this survey aboutclasses.
This is for students, fill outthe survey about classes, and
students say, I don't want tothink about that right now.
I'm gonna do it a little later.
But really, the college needsthat information right away
because that's how they begin tothink about the students'
(10:47):
schedule for fall.
And different colleges doschedules differently, but they
need that information rightaway.
So so after thinking about whatto expect, the first thing is,
okay, what do you need to doright away?
And you it may your student maynot even have graduated yet, but
this is to happen right away.
So so there's a section on onthat, and then you move toward
(11:12):
kind of the middle of thesummer, and that's that's the
section of things that canhappen throughout the summer.
You know, you just chip away alittle bit, and it's not going
to feel as overwhelming as itmight otherwise.
Um, and then the the last partof summer sort of okay, now it's
really time to get ready.
And there's some things thatneed to happen closer to when
(11:36):
it's going to be time to go.
And then thinking about sendingthem off, and that's move-in
day, and you know, wavinggoodbye and crying some tears,
or or not, or cheering in thecar on the way home, whatever
the case may be.
Um, so there's that end ofsummer.
And then I I tacked on a littlesection at the end.
(11:58):
It's not technically summer, butum, you know, kind of on the
home front, once you get home,um, just a few things to think
about as you as you parent makethat transition from uh, you
know, all the focus on sendingthem off, and now you come home.
And for some parents, it's anempty nest or emptier.
(12:19):
Uh, and just a few things tothink about and do uh as you
wind down summer.
So it's it's it's meant to bechronological.
Um, you can read it along as thesummer goes along, look at it at
the beginning of the summer forum a preview of what's down the
road.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
You know, one thing you and I talk a lot about is
the role of parents in terms ofthat shift from, you know, the
day-to-day caretaking kind ofthing to to being on the
sidelines and and coaching.
Um, it strikes me that thisebook that that has just come
out is a really good way forparents.
(13:02):
It's it's to the parents, not tothe students, really, but it's a
good way for parents to knowwhat's coming so that they can
then shift into being the coach.
Because how how do you supportyour kids if you don't really
know what's happening?
You know what I mean?
So this is a very cleardescription of what happens at
(13:24):
each, you know, section.
But, anyways, can you talk alittle bit more about that shift
of parenting?
SPEAKER_02 (13:32):
Yeah, oh boy, you know, I don't think there has
been a podcast episode thatwe've done that we haven't
talked about shifting fromcaretaking to coaching.
Um, and the workshop that wesometimes do with you know with
school groups or or whatever iscalled caretaking to coaching.
SPEAKER_01 (13:50):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (13:50):
Um, because when when you're when your student is
living at home, you know, inhigh school, even when they're
fairly independent, and somehigh school students are very
independent, you're still thecaretaker.
Um often parents are the keeperof the master calendar that's on
(14:10):
the wall in the kitchen or onthe fridge or something to know
who's going where and when, andum keeping track of those
dentist appointments and doctorappointments, and you know, when
the student heads out, it's youknow, where are you going and
who you're going with and who'sdriving, and when are you going
to be home, or this is whenyou'll be home, or um, those
(14:32):
sorts of things, and trying tokeep track of what's going on in
the household.
So that that caretaking role isreally where we live when the
student is living home.
And then when they go tocollege, they're on their own.
And it it's changing a littlebit, but the the message that so
(14:57):
often goes to parents is okay,they're on their own, so you're
done.
So back off and don't be ahelicopter parent, and your
student will be fine.
And really, you know, we you andI talk about it all the time.
That's not true at all.
It's just that the role changes,and it changes to a coach.
(15:21):
Um on the sidelines, the coachdoesn't play the game, but the
coach is helping the athlete,the player, know what to do and
is encouraging the player, orsometimes, you know, sometimes
pulling them into the lockerroom and saying, now look, this
is what you've got to change.
(15:41):
This what you're the the theapproach, the approach isn't
working.
You've got you've got to switchit.
So I think if I don't know ifparents can think about that
role as being just as active arole, but just very different.
Very different.
It's it's hands off.
But uh, you know, we often saygood athletes often say, I
(16:05):
couldn't have done it without mycoach.
I owe it all to my coach becausethey helped me get ready, they
encouraged me, they, you know,they they kept me on track.
So um I hopefully, as parentswork their way through this sort
of, I like to think of it askind of a step-by-step, the book
(16:28):
takes you step by step throughthe summer, and hopefully it
helps them begin to make thattransition and anticipate that
transition over the summer asthey have conversations with
their student.
And there are some things thatparents need to do and some
things that students need to do.
Um, for instance, uh, you know,the roommate survey, which is
(16:52):
often something students getearly in the summer if they're
living on campus.
Um, please fill out, you know,are you are you a neat nick or
are you a slob?
And do you sleep with the shadespulled or the shades open?
And do you do you like to studywith music or not with music?
Are you a smoker or not?
Uh, you know, all of those sortsof questions.
(17:16):
Students need to do that, notparents.
And so that's a that's anopportunity for the parents to
step back and say, nope, youneed to fill this out, and you
need to fill this out honestly,of who you really are, not who
you wish you were, because thenyou're going to get put together
with a roommate that's not goingto be a match for you.
(17:38):
But parents need to be preparedto say, and you don't have to
show it to me.
Fill it out and send it.
Let me know that it's gone, um,or don't let me know.
It's up to you.
Um, but I don't want to see itbecause maybe you would be
putting down different answersif you knew that I was going to
look.
So there are littleopportunities like that, I
(18:01):
think, throughout the summer,uh, for parents to say, nope,
it's up to you.
SPEAKER_00 (18:07):
You know, one thing that you you tend to do is um
outline some conversations thatparents and students can have.
And I find that to be reallyhelpful because you even model
in in some of your shortchapters exactly what kind of
questions to ask and how to doit in a way that is, you know,
(18:30):
non-judgmental.
And um, so I, you know, I Ithink that's a really helpful
thing.
Um, what kinds of, you know,what kinds of conversations do
you think are really crucial inthat summer?
SPEAKER_02 (18:46):
Oh, there's so many.
And you know, I think I as muchas I said there's hardly been a
podcast episode that hasn'ttalked about caretaking to
coaching, I'm quite positivethere hasn't been a podcast
episode that you and I haven'ttalked about.
Have this conversation, havethis conversation.
You need to communicate.
I think the communication, um,and and that hopefully this
(19:09):
summer also gives parents anopportunity to practice some of
that that communication, to toreally talk to students about
things like what they expectcollege to be like, um, what
their goals are.
Um, why simple question, why areyou going to college?
(19:32):
That can be that's really one ofthe one of the first
conversations to have.
That interestingly, for so manyfamilies, as much as they've
been immersed in this admissionsprocess for the last two or more
years, that question hasn't comeup.
SPEAKER_00 (19:54):
I don't think I ever asked.
I don't think I did eitherquestion.
SPEAKER_02 (19:57):
I didn't either.
Why are you going to college?
And and then that forcesstudents to think a little bit
while I'm going, because that'swhat people do.
Well, do you have to?
Do you want and and the point ofthe question is not to talk them
out of going to college, butjust to get them to think about,
(20:18):
well, why am I going to college?
Because that leads directly to,so then what are some of your
goals?
Um, what do you what do you wantcollege to do for you?
Are you going for personalfulfillment?
Are you going for um sociallife?
Are you going for careerspecific knowledge?
(20:43):
All of those answers would leadyou to different goals.
And then parents can follow thatup with another conversation
about so what are your actionplans to accomplish those goals?
So, you know, if it's career,what are you going to do while
(21:04):
you're at college to lead towardthat career?
Of course, it has to do withyour choice of major.
And then, well, then what kindsof classes are you hoping that
you're going to be able to take?
And are you going to try tovolunteer somewhere or are you
going to try to do aninternship?
(21:25):
Not to have a student plan outtheir entire college life, but
just to begin to open the doorto some of those conversations.
Um thinking about roommate.
Students dread, you know, theI'm I'm I know I'm going to get
the roommate from hell.
I just know, I know what's itgoing to be like.
(21:46):
Because most kids have nevershared a room with anybody, and
certainly not a room that small,that is your living room and
your bat and your kitchen andyour study room and your bedroom
and all of that.
So they're worried about theroommate.
And perhaps a conversation thata parent and student could have
(22:06):
would be so, what are you goingto do to be a good roommate?
What makes a good roommate?
And flipping the table a littlebit to have the student think
differently.
So I think, yeah, there are anumber of places in here where
I've suggested maybe this is agood time to have a conversation
(22:28):
about this.
And that lays the groundwork.
It's the foundation for thecommunication you're going to
have with your student oncethey're away.
Which you, Lynn, I know, havetalked about once they go away.
Some of those conversations areso rich because you've taken
that caretaking piece out of it.
SPEAKER_00 (22:48):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (22:49):
And you can just have interesting conversations.
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
Well, one of the themes here is um learning how
to listen.
Um, you know, as a Parent, Ithink, especially when our kids
are younger, you know, we spendso much time doing what we think
parents should do.
I mean, sort of telling themwhat to do, you know.
But but as our students turninto, you know, adults, um, it's
(23:19):
um it's so it's such a wonderfulreminder to step back and listen
um and ask questions and becurious about what your kids are
thinking.
And I loved reading books withmy kids once they went away to
school, and we could share, youknow, what they were reading,
and I would read it too.
We would talk about it and youknow, that kind of thing.
(23:41):
Um, so there's a lot in hereabout how to shift your habits
in communicating with your kids.
SPEAKER_02 (23:52):
Well, I am a communication professor.
That is true.
So there probably is a littlebit little butt bias, a little
leaning that way.
But uh and I and listening isone of the things I teach in my
communication classes, and it'sone of the hardest things to do
and do well.
Um, in part, as you just said,we think it's part of our job
(24:15):
description, and it is part ofour job description to give
advice.
So when students are telling uswhatever they're telling us,
maybe we've asked a question,we're often busy thinking about
what we're going to say, andwe're really only half listening
to what they're gonna saybecause we're all we we're
(24:36):
listening with the intent torespond.
So we're you know, we're we'rebusy thinking, well, then I'm
gonna tell him this and then I'mgonna react that way, rather
than really listening.
And that kind of listening,where you really focus on
hearing, um takes practice.
SPEAKER_01 (24:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (25:00):
So this is a good time.
Summer is a great time uh insome some of the uh situations
and topics here to reallypractice that full listening.
Um and some parents talk abouthow, you know, my kid never
talks to me.
(25:20):
They never talk to me.
And sometimes I think that'sbecause they know we're not
really listening.
Um, we have the best ofintentions.
It's not that we don't care, butthey know we're, you know,
they're going to say something.
And we're are we are we reallygoing to hear what they're
telling us?
(25:40):
And so maybe experimenting alittle bit with some new habits
and ways of listening, of givingit space, giving it time, and um
being a sounding board insteadof coming in right away with the
advice, um, asking whether theywant our advice.
You know, they lay something outto us, and and instead of coming
(26:01):
right in and saying, Well, whatyou could do is this, or what
you should do is this, sittingwith it and then saying, Do you
want my advice?
Or do you just want me to hearwhat you have to say?
Or or just sounding it back, youknow, well, I'm I'm hearing you
say that you know, that youreally don't like that subject.
(26:24):
And the student says, no, no,no, no, it's not that, it's that
I don't like the professor.
Um, and so it it's different,but it's so important.
SPEAKER_00 (26:34):
You know, it it occurs to me that the summer
before college, uh there's a lotof material out there about
students and the transitionthey're going through.
But what you're addressing inthis ebook is the shifts that
parents are going through too.
You know, that there are theirshifting also from parenting a
(26:55):
high school student to parentinga college student.
One thing that you do in thisebook is give some real good
information that parents don'tknow or may not know, and that
helps with that shift.
Like, you know, uh, you know,you write about FERPA in a way
that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02 (27:14):
I knew you were going to think FERPA.
SPEAKER_00 (27:17):
And there are other things.
SPEAKER_02 (27:18):
I mean, what what other things can you think of
that are in there that wellyou're right in in pointing out
FERPA because FERPA is one ofthe most important ones, and and
there is a a chapter on thatunderstanding that when students
go to college, the right totheir academic information
belongs to them and not toparents.
(27:39):
Um, and then again, going backto conversations, that that it's
important to have a conversationwith your student.
A lot of students have neverheard of FERPA.
So it if the information in thatchapter here can help parents
understand it.
To explain it to their to thenexplain it to their students and
(28:01):
then decide together whetherbecause it means, bottom line,
it means that all academicinformation, including grades,
are going to go to your studentand not to the parent.
And you can have a student signa FERPA waiver, which says it's
okay for you to release thingslike my grades to my parents.
(28:23):
And many parents will sayimmediately, well, of course,
sign this FERPA waiver because Iwant I want to see your grades.
Um but then thinking about whatmessage is that sending to my
student?
Is that saying I don't trustthat when I say what are your
grades, you're going to tell me?
Um and and do is that themessage that I want to send
(28:44):
right away?
So so again, that's that that'sa a conversation.
Um so the FERPA, um, and thenthere's some information about
um health proxy and um HIPAA,that um, you know, if your
student's in a car accident andum they're unconscious, um, the
(29:06):
hospital can't tell you anythingbecause they are, you know,
legally um there's not arelease.
So you can there's somepaperwork that you can do over
the summer um that says that youknow parents will can have
access to that information in anin an emergency.
(29:26):
Um some things about thinkingthinking about a departure plan
um for students, which whichdoesn't mean thinking about how
you're gonna drop out ofcollege.
That's not what that's talkingabout, but it's it in an
emergency.
Does your student have a like aweather emergency or some kind
(29:47):
of crisis on campus?
Hurricane or you know, whatever.
Um, does your student have aplan of what they're going to do
if they have to leave campus?
If the campus is evacuated forwhatever reason?
Um, and thinking now ahead oftime, proactively, um let's plan
(30:07):
together.
What are you going to do?
Um, you know, will you make sureyou always have a little cash?
Um, do you know where you'll go?
Do we have relatives that liveclose or friends that live close
to where you go to college thatare willing that we could
contact and say, in anemergency, would you be willing?
Um, just that that's some of theinformation that that parents
(30:31):
may not realize.
There's some financial pieces tomoney stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Um, not only the big money, thetuition money, um, but many
parents don't realize how manyother small incremental fees
there are going to be and otherother costs and and how much
(30:51):
textbooks cost.
Um, I mean, it it's outrageous.
Textbooks cost way too much, andand I think most of us agree
about that, but we can't doanything about it.
So if you have a student who hasfive classes and they need five,
and subclasses require more thanone book, and they need five
(31:14):
books, it would not beunreasonable for it to cost
four, five, six hundred dollarsfor a semester's books.
Now you multiply that by eightsemesters, and they can sell
them back, but they usuallydon't get very much.
Um, so anticipating some of theextra costs is really important.
(31:34):
Um, so yeah, there's there'sinformation things, things to
know.
SPEAKER_00 (31:39):
You know, you also give some great tips on packing
and getting ready to go.
Like even a uh a first aid uh uhyou know, list of things to
pack.
That would I I never knew that.
SPEAKER_02 (31:55):
Well, yeah, and I'm I I I mean, we've both said,
Lynn, for as long as we've beendoing the podcast, wish we had
known when we sent our kids whatwe know now.
And and that was a little bit onmy mind as I was doing this too.
Oh gosh, it would have been niceto know this.
Oh, it would have been good if Ihad known that be, you know,
back then.
But uh, I don't even know if Isent my student with a first aid
(32:17):
kit.
SPEAKER_00 (32:18):
I probably gave them band-aids or something.
SPEAKER_02 (32:20):
I don't remember because there are wonderful
health centers on campus, butnot everything raises to the
level of going to the healthcenter.
You get, you know, you cutyourself with a knife.
You need to know what kind ofointment to put on it, and you
need to have some band-aids.
And you wake up with a fever,you know, it's nice to have a
thermometer and find out howmuch you really have.
(32:43):
And you know, you know, if youhave a cough, do you do you when
do you go?
When do you go to the healthcenter and when do you deal with
it?
So yeah, things to go into afirst aid kit and then talking
to your student about what to dowith the things that are in the
first aid kit.
Because if you send them withthis packed thing and they don't
(33:03):
know what anything is or when touse what, um it doesn't help.
And then my favorite is the ideaof a comfort pack.
Um, and I've included somethings there to think about.
And that's that's reallysomething you sort of you sort
of box up and wrap up and giveto your student to tuck in their
(33:26):
luggage and say, you know, thisis for when that first time when
you get sick, because it'sinevitable, almost inevitable.
Along about October, they allstart dropping like flies
because they've been sharing alltheir germs in the residence
hall.
And it's cold season and fluseason starts and and all, and
(33:48):
they, you know, they can getsomething that's not
life-threatening, but they feelpretty miserable.
And that first time away fromhome feeling miserable, um, is
kind of tough.
So, you know, that's when youpull out this this pack that I
sent with you.
Um, that, you know, maybe hasmaybe has some um, you know,
some chicken soup in it and uh,you know, a nice blanket, a
(34:14):
comfortable blanket, maybe somemagazines and you know, maybe a
DVD of I don't know.
You it's very personal, but tothink about um some of the kinds
of things that if you can't bethere when your student feels
sick, what might be some thingsthat they even just a card?
SPEAKER_00 (34:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, I really appreciate thatthere is a glossary at the end
of this of terms that um youknow that apply to college.
I mean, it's a new language,yeah, and uh it's just really
helpful for parents to know thenew language.
SPEAKER_02 (34:51):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (34:52):
Um, and then you also give a list of books for
parents and a book and a listfor of books for students.
We like books.
SPEAKER_02 (34:59):
Have we ever not talked about books, Lynn?
We have every year, we're thepodcast is now in its sixth
year, and every year we've donea podcast episode on summer
reads, things to read for thesummer.
And I think I think that'scoming up.
I'm not sure this year's hascome out yet.
(35:21):
Um, but you know, we've eachchosen two, three, four books
that we think are great, andwe've recommended them.
So I couldn't not recommend somebooks for parents to read and
then some books for students toread.
Um, and and you're right aboutthe terminology.
I mean, we've done two or threepodcast episodes, I think, on
(35:43):
just on that, yeah.
Talking the talk and knowing thelingo.
So um I compiled that a littlebit for uh it helps to have some
idea.
And when your student comes homeand starts spouting these terms,
uh, you have some idea of whatthey are.
SPEAKER_00 (36:01):
So well, I have to say I do recommend this book
highly.
SPEAKER_02 (36:06):
Thank you for your highly unbiased opinion.
SPEAKER_00 (36:09):
But but really, I it's um it's an it's filled with
such important information, butit's an easy read, also.
Yeah, I I really short chapters.
SPEAKER_02 (36:22):
I I mean it's a little scary when you know if
you look at the table ofcontents and there are 49
chapters, and you know, kind ofah, but I tried to keep most of
them to a page or two.
Um, and and rather than bigchapters that that you you know
(36:42):
you have to wade through to getthe information you need, uh, I
opted for lots of short, veryspecific chapters.
So, yes, hopefully parents sitdown and you know read it, but
also to be able to pick it up atany point in the summer and say,
I need to know something about afirst aid kit, and I can find
(37:05):
that chapter, and I don't haveto read a 15-page chapter to get
the information I need.
So, how do parents get thisbook?
Oh, um, it's only available onthe College Parent Central
website.
Okay.
Um, so that's the only place youcan get it.
And you just go toCollegeParentCentral.com and
(37:26):
then there's a tab that saysresources, and the drop down of
that has ebooks.
So you can go there and um readmore about it, get a little more
sense of what's in it, and uhorder it right there.
There's also another ebookthere.
(37:47):
Um, if you are not a parent of agraduate, um, but you have a
student in high school, there'sanother ebook there.
Um, some tips on that's a muchsmaller, shorter one, but um
some practical tips for usingthe last year or two of high
school to help them get ready.
(38:07):
So you could start with that andget help them through high
school, and then when it comestime for the summer before
college, uh move on to this one.
But collegeparentcentral.com,the tab that says resources and
then ebooks, and there you are.
SPEAKER_00 (38:26):
It's fabulous.
I wish I had had it back wayback.
Me too.
Fabulous job.
SPEAKER_02 (38:34):
Thanks for talking to me about it.
And I hope, um, I hope someparents will find it useful.
And uh uh I'm you know, we'llwe'll put I don't know, we'll
put the link if you go to theshow notes.
Um we'll put the link uh therein the show notes and uh also my
email address so that if youhave if you do get the book and
(38:57):
you have feedback, uh I'd loveto hear it.
Or uh if there are additionalquestions, um let me know.
SPEAKER_00 (39:05):
Well give us ideas for new new episodes.
SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
Yeah, that's true.
We'll keep talking abouteverything else.
Um, we also, though, by the way,do have um a series of three
episodes way back um that touchon these topics.
And then this allowed me, youknow, to go deeper in the book.
So if you look back to episodes43, 44, and 45, those are all
(39:34):
about summer prep.
So that would be some additionalinformation.
SPEAKER_00 (39:39):
Well, this is a very thorough um and easy read,
though, too.
Fabulous.
SPEAKER_02 (39:45):
Thanks.
SPEAKER_00 (39:46):
Thank you, Vicky.
Thanks for having me as a gueston the podcast.
SPEAKER_02 (39:52):
This was fun.
All right, thanks, everybody.
Welcome to the College Parent Central Podcast.
Whether your child is justbeginning the college admission
process or is already incollege, this podcast is for
you.
You'll find food for thought andinformation about college and
about navigating that delicatebalance of guidance,
involvement, and knowing when toget out of the way.
(01:32):
Join your hosts, Vicki Nelsonand Lynn Abrahams, as they share
support and a celebration of theamazing experience of having a
child in college.
SPEAKER_00 (01:47):
Welcome to the College Parent Central Podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout all things connected to
parenting our kids as they makethat transition to college.
My name is Lynn Abrahams, and Iam a learning disability
specialist, have worked withcollege students for my whole
(02:09):
career.
And I am here not only with mycolleague and friend, but with
the person who I will beinterviewing for this podcast.
So, Vicky, why don't you firstexplain who you are, and then
I'll talk about what we're goingto talk about.
SPEAKER_02 (02:30):
So my name is Vicki Nelson.
I am the co-host of the CollegeParent Central podcast along
with Lynn and occasional otherco-hosts that join us.
And I am a college professor ofcommunication, and I have been
doing that for many years.
And so I work with studentsevery day, and I see the things
(02:54):
that work and I see the thingsthat sometimes cause them to
struggle.
And uh in addition to that, I amthe mother of three daughters
who have gone to college.
So as Lynn and I always say, weboth come to this podcast, both
with our professional hat on,having worked with college
students, and also our parenthat on, because we know it was
(03:18):
overwhelming for us when we werejust starting out, sending that
first student to college.
And so I remember that's whatgot us started saying if this is
overwhelming for us and we workin higher ed, what must it be
like for everybody else?
SPEAKER_00 (03:38):
Yes.
And the the purpose of thisepisode is going to be to talk a
little bit about a new e-bookthat has just come out.
And it is by Vicki Nelson.
And the name of the book is TheSummer Before College, a parent
survival guide from deposit tomove in.
(04:00):
And I would like to say thatfirst, this is an amazing um
compilation of such goodinformation, focusing on the
summer before college, which isthe craziest time in the world.
Okay.
Um, but I would like to saythat, you know, this ebook is a
(04:24):
fabulous read.
It's easy to understand, it'swell organized, it's it's just
got some great stuff forparents.
And I guess, Vicky, I just firstwant to ask you, you know, how
how did you come to do this?
I've been pushing you for a longtime.
SPEAKER_02 (04:42):
I was just gonna say I came to do it because you made
me do it.
SPEAKER_01 (04:45):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (04:45):
Uh so thank you for those very kind words coming
from someone who's completelyunbiased.
That's what I thought.
Um yeah, well, you were uhinstrumental in having this
happen.
I I started College ParentsCentral as a as a blog, as a
website in 2009.
(05:07):
So um I've been at this for awhile, and the the website now
has uh approximately a littleover 900 articles over over the
years, you know, gradually andslowly, one article at a time.
Uh on anything that you know, Iencounter something with a
(05:28):
student and I write a post aboutit, or I, you know, I see
something that's a problem, andit's an advice.
Uh I you know, I used to want tosay advice column, but that
dates me of thinking aboutnewspapers.
But it it's to information forcollege parents to make the
journey work.
(05:48):
And you have been telling me fora while now we should take this
information and put it in, putit, pull it together.
Um, because it's you know, it'swonderful to just bounce around
a website and read a post hereand an article there.
Um, but sometimes you wanteverything in one place.
(06:10):
And we have talked, Lynn, youand I have talked multiple times
about how important this summerbefore college is.
Um, it's that transition summer,it's that summer of, you know, I
sometimes term it like acrossroads of the crossroads
between no longer and not yet.
The the students aren't highschool anymore, but they're not
(06:33):
they're not in college.
So they've got a lot emotionallygoing on, but it's also a summer
when there's so much that has toget done.
And I think what happenssometimes is as parents, we make
it through graduation.
The you know, the spring ofsenior year is crazy.
(06:56):
You've got senior events goingon and senior trips and proms
and you know, all of this, andthen there's graduation, and
that has some mixed emotions,but you know, that's that's a
wonderful time.
And then you just want to youjust want to relax and and sit
back, and students want to, youknow, just enjoy this summer
(07:20):
that they have before they go tocollege, but there's a lot that
has to happen.
So so I try to take some of theuh some of the information uh
that uh I know matters in thesummer and pull it all together
in one place so that um parentscan have it in one place and not
(07:44):
have to look all over to seewhat they need to do and and to
think about the things that theymight easily forget need to be
something for the summer.
SPEAKER_00 (07:52):
And and not just forget, but know to for the to
know.
I I I remember feeling like Ijust did not know what to expect
when I was in that situation.
Um, I certainly didn't expecthow crazy that summer was and
how emotional, you know, it was.
Um, but in particular for firstparents, for parents who have
(08:15):
their first kids going off, um,this is a very well organized
approach to what happens beforeand through move-in day.
Um, can you tell us a little bitabout just how you organized all
this information?
SPEAKER_02 (08:34):
Um, well, that was that was the challenge when I
started.
And it interestingly, it wascomplete organized completely
differently when I started.
I was thinking in terms of,okay, what do parents need to
do?
What do parents need to thinkabout?
What do students need to do?
What do students need to thinkabout?
What conversations do they needto have?
(08:54):
And so I kind of kind of at somepoint it just clicked um that
wait a minute, it would makemore sense to think through
think through the summer as youmove through the summer.
Right.
So this all really starts withdeposit.
You know, up until then it's allabout applying and making the
(09:16):
decision and waiting and all.
And then then that May 1stdeadline comes along and
students make their deposit.
Now it's real.
You know where you're going tobe, you you know you're in,
you've made the deposit, and youstart getting different kinds of
information from the school.
And a a lot, I mean, the theamount of information that
(09:40):
students and parents receive,and mostly students receive over
the summer, is huge.
So then I decided to just set itup uh chronologically.
So it starts with uh a sectionon you know, just what to
expect, what's this summer goingto be like?
Uh, Lynn, you just mentioned howemotional it is.
(10:02):
And and so, you know, what tothink what what what do you
think this summer is is going tobe like?
And then it's got a second partthat you know are the things the
things that have to happen rightaway.
And I I sometimes I've I thinkparents aren't and students
aren't aware of the timing.
(10:24):
So this email comes and it saysyou should do this, you know,
fill out this survey aboutclasses.
This is for students, fill outthe survey about classes, and
students say, I don't want tothink about that right now.
I'm gonna do it a little later.
But really, the college needsthat information right away
because that's how they begin tothink about the students'
(10:47):
schedule for fall.
And different colleges doschedules differently, but they
need that information rightaway.
So so after thinking about whatto expect, the first thing is,
okay, what do you need to doright away?
And you it may your student maynot even have graduated yet, but
this is to happen right away.
So so there's a section on onthat, and then you move toward
(11:12):
kind of the middle of thesummer, and that's that's the
section of things that canhappen throughout the summer.
You know, you just chip away alittle bit, and it's not going
to feel as overwhelming as itmight otherwise.
Um, and then the the last partof summer sort of okay, now it's
really time to get ready.
And there's some things thatneed to happen closer to when
(11:36):
it's going to be time to go.
And then thinking about sendingthem off, and that's move-in
day, and you know, wavinggoodbye and crying some tears,
or or not, or cheering in thecar on the way home, whatever
the case may be.
Um, so there's that end ofsummer.
And then I I tacked on a littlesection at the end.
(11:58):
It's not technically summer, butum, you know, kind of on the
home front, once you get home,um, just a few things to think
about as you as you parent makethat transition from uh, you
know, all the focus on sendingthem off, and now you come home.
And for some parents, it's anempty nest or emptier.
(12:19):
Uh, and just a few things tothink about and do uh as you
wind down summer.
So it's it's it's meant to bechronological.
Um, you can read it along as thesummer goes along, look at it at
the beginning of the summer forum a preview of what's down the
road.
SPEAKER_00 (12:39):
You know, one thing you and I talk a lot about is
the role of parents in terms ofthat shift from, you know, the
day-to-day caretaking kind ofthing to to being on the
sidelines and and coaching.
Um, it strikes me that thisebook that that has just come
out is a really good way forparents.
(13:02):
It's it's to the parents, not tothe students, really, but it's a
good way for parents to knowwhat's coming so that they can
then shift into being the coach.
Because how how do you supportyour kids if you don't really
know what's happening?
You know what I mean?
So this is a very cleardescription of what happens at
(13:24):
each, you know, section.
But, anyways, can you talk alittle bit more about that shift
of parenting?
SPEAKER_02 (13:32):
Yeah, oh boy, you know, I don't think there has
been a podcast episode thatwe've done that we haven't
talked about shifting fromcaretaking to coaching.
Um, and the workshop that wesometimes do with you know with
school groups or or whatever iscalled caretaking to coaching.
SPEAKER_01 (13:50):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (13:50):
Um, because when when you're when your student is
living at home, you know, inhigh school, even when they're
fairly independent, and somehigh school students are very
independent, you're still thecaretaker.
Um often parents are the keeperof the master calendar that's on
(14:10):
the wall in the kitchen or onthe fridge or something to know
who's going where and when, andum keeping track of those
dentist appointments and doctorappointments, and you know, when
the student heads out, it's youknow, where are you going and
who you're going with and who'sdriving, and when are you going
to be home, or this is whenyou'll be home, or um, those
(14:32):
sorts of things, and trying tokeep track of what's going on in
the household.
So that that caretaking role isreally where we live when the
student is living home.
And then when they go tocollege, they're on their own.
And it it's changing a littlebit, but the the message that so
(14:57):
often goes to parents is okay,they're on their own, so you're
done.
So back off and don't be ahelicopter parent, and your
student will be fine.
And really, you know, we you andI talk about it all the time.
That's not true at all.
It's just that the role changes,and it changes to a coach.
(15:21):
Um on the sidelines, the coachdoesn't play the game, but the
coach is helping the athlete,the player, know what to do and
is encouraging the player, orsometimes, you know, sometimes
pulling them into the lockerroom and saying, now look, this
is what you've got to change.
(15:41):
This what you're the the theapproach, the approach isn't
working.
You've got you've got to switchit.
So I think if I don't know ifparents can think about that
role as being just as active arole, but just very different.
Very different.
It's it's hands off.
But uh, you know, we often saygood athletes often say, I
(16:05):
couldn't have done it without mycoach.
I owe it all to my coach becausethey helped me get ready, they
encouraged me, they, you know,they they kept me on track.
So um I hopefully, as parentswork their way through this sort
of, I like to think of it askind of a step-by-step, the book
(16:28):
takes you step by step throughthe summer, and hopefully it
helps them begin to make thattransition and anticipate that
transition over the summer asthey have conversations with
their student.
And there are some things thatparents need to do and some
things that students need to do.
Um, for instance, uh, you know,the roommate survey, which is
(16:52):
often something students getearly in the summer if they're
living on campus.
Um, please fill out, you know,are you are you a neat nick or
are you a slob?
And do you sleep with the shadespulled or the shades open?
And do you do you like to studywith music or not with music?
Are you a smoker or not?
Uh, you know, all of those sortsof questions.
(17:16):
Students need to do that, notparents.
And so that's a that's anopportunity for the parents to
step back and say, nope, youneed to fill this out, and you
need to fill this out honestly,of who you really are, not who
you wish you were, because thenyou're going to get put together
with a roommate that's not goingto be a match for you.
(17:38):
But parents need to be preparedto say, and you don't have to
show it to me.
Fill it out and send it.
Let me know that it's gone, um,or don't let me know.
It's up to you.
Um, but I don't want to see itbecause maybe you would be
putting down different answersif you knew that I was going to
look.
So there are littleopportunities like that, I
(18:01):
think, throughout the summer,uh, for parents to say, nope,
it's up to you.
SPEAKER_00 (18:07):
You know, one thing that you you tend to do is um
outline some conversations thatparents and students can have.
And I find that to be reallyhelpful because you even model
in in some of your shortchapters exactly what kind of
questions to ask and how to doit in a way that is, you know,
(18:30):
non-judgmental.
And um, so I, you know, I Ithink that's a really helpful
thing.
Um, what kinds of, you know,what kinds of conversations do
you think are really crucial inthat summer?
SPEAKER_02 (18:46):
Oh, there's so many.
And you know, I think I as muchas I said there's hardly been a
podcast episode that hasn'ttalked about caretaking to
coaching, I'm quite positivethere hasn't been a podcast
episode that you and I haven'ttalked about.
Have this conversation, havethis conversation.
You need to communicate.
I think the communication, um,and and that hopefully this
(19:09):
summer also gives parents anopportunity to practice some of
that that communication, to toreally talk to students about
things like what they expectcollege to be like, um, what
their goals are.
Um, why simple question, why areyou going to college?
(19:32):
That can be that's really one ofthe one of the first
conversations to have.
That interestingly, for so manyfamilies, as much as they've
been immersed in this admissionsprocess for the last two or more
years, that question hasn't comeup.
SPEAKER_00 (19:54):
I don't think I ever asked.
I don't think I did eitherquestion.
SPEAKER_02 (19:57):
I didn't either.
Why are you going to college?
And and then that forcesstudents to think a little bit
while I'm going, because that'swhat people do.
Well, do you have to?
Do you want and and the point ofthe question is not to talk them
out of going to college, butjust to get them to think about,
(20:18):
well, why am I going to college?
Because that leads directly to,so then what are some of your
goals?
Um, what do you what do you wantcollege to do for you?
Are you going for personalfulfillment?
Are you going for um sociallife?
Are you going for careerspecific knowledge?
(20:43):
All of those answers would leadyou to different goals.
And then parents can follow thatup with another conversation
about so what are your actionplans to accomplish those goals?
So, you know, if it's career,what are you going to do while
(21:04):
you're at college to lead towardthat career?
Of course, it has to do withyour choice of major.
And then, well, then what kindsof classes are you hoping that
you're going to be able to take?
And are you going to try tovolunteer somewhere or are you
going to try to do aninternship?
(21:25):
Not to have a student plan outtheir entire college life, but
just to begin to open the doorto some of those conversations.
Um thinking about roommate.
Students dread, you know, theI'm I'm I know I'm going to get
the roommate from hell.
I just know, I know what's itgoing to be like.
(21:46):
Because most kids have nevershared a room with anybody, and
certainly not a room that small,that is your living room and
your bat and your kitchen andyour study room and your bedroom
and all of that.
So they're worried about theroommate.
And perhaps a conversation thata parent and student could have
(22:06):
would be so, what are you goingto do to be a good roommate?
What makes a good roommate?
And flipping the table a littlebit to have the student think
differently.
So I think, yeah, there are anumber of places in here where
I've suggested maybe this is agood time to have a conversation
(22:28):
about this.
And that lays the groundwork.
It's the foundation for thecommunication you're going to
have with your student oncethey're away.
Which you, Lynn, I know, havetalked about once they go away.
Some of those conversations areso rich because you've taken
that caretaking piece out of it.
SPEAKER_00 (22:48):
Right.
SPEAKER_02 (22:49):
And you can just have interesting conversations.
SPEAKER_00 (22:53):
Well, one of the themes here is um learning how
to listen.
Um, you know, as a Parent, Ithink, especially when our kids
are younger, you know, we spendso much time doing what we think
parents should do.
I mean, sort of telling themwhat to do, you know.
But but as our students turninto, you know, adults, um, it's
(23:19):
um it's so it's such a wonderfulreminder to step back and listen
um and ask questions and becurious about what your kids are
thinking.
And I loved reading books withmy kids once they went away to
school, and we could share, youknow, what they were reading,
and I would read it too.
We would talk about it and youknow, that kind of thing.
(23:41):
Um, so there's a lot in hereabout how to shift your habits
in communicating with your kids.
SPEAKER_02 (23:52):
Well, I am a communication professor.
That is true.
So there probably is a littlebit little butt bias, a little
leaning that way.
But uh and I and listening isone of the things I teach in my
communication classes, and it'sone of the hardest things to do
and do well.
Um, in part, as you just said,we think it's part of our job
(24:15):
description, and it is part ofour job description to give
advice.
So when students are telling uswhatever they're telling us,
maybe we've asked a question,we're often busy thinking about
what we're going to say, andwe're really only half listening
to what they're gonna saybecause we're all we we're
(24:36):
listening with the intent torespond.
So we're you know, we're we'rebusy thinking, well, then I'm
gonna tell him this and then I'mgonna react that way, rather
than really listening.
And that kind of listening,where you really focus on
hearing, um takes practice.
SPEAKER_01 (24:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_02 (25:00):
So this is a good time.
Summer is a great time uh insome some of the uh situations
and topics here to reallypractice that full listening.
Um and some parents talk abouthow, you know, my kid never
talks to me.
(25:20):
They never talk to me.
And sometimes I think that'sbecause they know we're not
really listening.
Um, we have the best ofintentions.
It's not that we don't care, butthey know we're, you know,
they're going to say something.
And we're are we are we reallygoing to hear what they're
telling us?
(25:40):
And so maybe experimenting alittle bit with some new habits
and ways of listening, of givingit space, giving it time, and um
being a sounding board insteadof coming in right away with the
advice, um, asking whether theywant our advice.
You know, they lay something outto us, and and instead of coming
(26:01):
right in and saying, Well, whatyou could do is this, or what
you should do is this, sittingwith it and then saying, Do you
want my advice?
Or do you just want me to hearwhat you have to say?
Or or just sounding it back, youknow, well, I'm I'm hearing you
say that you know, that youreally don't like that subject.
(26:24):
And the student says, no, no,no, no, it's not that, it's that
I don't like the professor.
Um, and so it it's different,but it's so important.
SPEAKER_00 (26:34):
You know, it it occurs to me that the summer
before college, uh there's a lotof material out there about
students and the transitionthey're going through.
But what you're addressing inthis ebook is the shifts that
parents are going through too.
You know, that there are theirshifting also from parenting a
(26:55):
high school student to parentinga college student.
One thing that you do in thisebook is give some real good
information that parents don'tknow or may not know, and that
helps with that shift.
Like, you know, uh, you know,you write about FERPA in a way
that makes sense.
SPEAKER_02 (27:14):
I knew you were going to think FERPA.
SPEAKER_00 (27:17):
And there are other things.
SPEAKER_02 (27:18):
I mean, what what other things can you think of
that are in there that wellyou're right in in pointing out
FERPA because FERPA is one ofthe most important ones, and and
there is a a chapter on thatunderstanding that when students
go to college, the right totheir academic information
belongs to them and not toparents.
(27:39):
Um, and then again, going backto conversations, that that it's
important to have a conversationwith your student.
A lot of students have neverheard of FERPA.
So it if the information in thatchapter here can help parents
understand it.
To explain it to their to thenexplain it to their students and
(28:01):
then decide together whetherbecause it means, bottom line,
it means that all academicinformation, including grades,
are going to go to your studentand not to the parent.
And you can have a student signa FERPA waiver, which says it's
okay for you to release thingslike my grades to my parents.
(28:23):
And many parents will sayimmediately, well, of course,
sign this FERPA waiver because Iwant I want to see your grades.
Um but then thinking about whatmessage is that sending to my
student?
Is that saying I don't trustthat when I say what are your
grades, you're going to tell me?
Um and and do is that themessage that I want to send
(28:44):
right away?
So so again, that's that that'sa a conversation.
Um so the FERPA, um, and thenthere's some information about
um health proxy and um HIPAA,that um, you know, if your
student's in a car accident andum they're unconscious, um, the
(29:06):
hospital can't tell you anythingbecause they are, you know,
legally um there's not arelease.
So you can there's somepaperwork that you can do over
the summer um that says that youknow parents will can have
access to that information in anin an emergency.
(29:26):
Um some things about thinkingthinking about a departure plan
um for students, which whichdoesn't mean thinking about how
you're gonna drop out ofcollege.
That's not what that's talkingabout, but it's it in an
emergency.
Does your student have a like aweather emergency or some kind
(29:47):
of crisis on campus?
Hurricane or you know, whatever.
Um, does your student have aplan of what they're going to do
if they have to leave campus?
If the campus is evacuated forwhatever reason?
Um, and thinking now ahead oftime, proactively, um let's plan
(30:07):
together.
What are you going to do?
Um, you know, will you make sureyou always have a little cash?
Um, do you know where you'll go?
Do we have relatives that liveclose or friends that live close
to where you go to college thatare willing that we could
contact and say, in anemergency, would you be willing?
Um, just that that's some of theinformation that that parents
(30:31):
may not realize.
There's some financial pieces tomoney stuff.
Oh, yeah.
Um, not only the big money, thetuition money, um, but many
parents don't realize how manyother small incremental fees
there are going to be and otherother costs and and how much
(30:51):
textbooks cost.
Um, I mean, it it's outrageous.
Textbooks cost way too much, andand I think most of us agree
about that, but we can't doanything about it.
So if you have a student who hasfive classes and they need five,
and subclasses require more thanone book, and they need five
(31:14):
books, it would not beunreasonable for it to cost
four, five, six hundred dollarsfor a semester's books.
Now you multiply that by eightsemesters, and they can sell
them back, but they usuallydon't get very much.
Um, so anticipating some of theextra costs is really important.
(31:34):
Um, so yeah, there's there'sinformation things, things to
know.
SPEAKER_00 (31:39):
You know, you also give some great tips on packing
and getting ready to go.
Like even a uh a first aid uh uhyou know, list of things to
pack.
That would I I never knew that.
SPEAKER_02 (31:55):
Well, yeah, and I'm I I I mean, we've both said,
Lynn, for as long as we've beendoing the podcast, wish we had
known when we sent our kids whatwe know now.
And and that was a little bit onmy mind as I was doing this too.
Oh gosh, it would have been niceto know this.
Oh, it would have been good if Ihad known that be, you know,
back then.
But uh, I don't even know if Isent my student with a first aid
(32:17):
kit.
SPEAKER_00 (32:18):
I probably gave them band-aids or something.
SPEAKER_02 (32:20):
I don't remember because there are wonderful
health centers on campus, butnot everything raises to the
level of going to the healthcenter.
You get, you know, you cutyourself with a knife.
You need to know what kind ofointment to put on it, and you
need to have some band-aids.
And you wake up with a fever,you know, it's nice to have a
thermometer and find out howmuch you really have.
(32:43):
And you know, you know, if youhave a cough, do you do you when
do you go?
When do you go to the healthcenter and when do you deal with
it?
So yeah, things to go into afirst aid kit and then talking
to your student about what to dowith the things that are in the
first aid kit.
Because if you send them withthis packed thing and they don't
(33:03):
know what anything is or when touse what, um it doesn't help.
And then my favorite is the ideaof a comfort pack.
Um, and I've included somethings there to think about.
And that's that's reallysomething you sort of you sort
of box up and wrap up and giveto your student to tuck in their
(33:26):
luggage and say, you know, thisis for when that first time when
you get sick, because it'sinevitable, almost inevitable.
Along about October, they allstart dropping like flies
because they've been sharing alltheir germs in the residence
hall.
And it's cold season and fluseason starts and and all, and
(33:48):
they, you know, they can getsomething that's not
life-threatening, but they feelpretty miserable.
And that first time away fromhome feeling miserable, um, is
kind of tough.
So, you know, that's when youpull out this this pack that I
sent with you.
Um, that, you know, maybe hasmaybe has some um, you know,
some chicken soup in it and uh,you know, a nice blanket, a
(34:14):
comfortable blanket, maybe somemagazines and you know, maybe a
DVD of I don't know.
You it's very personal, but tothink about um some of the kinds
of things that if you can't bethere when your student feels
sick, what might be some thingsthat they even just a card?
SPEAKER_00 (34:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, I really appreciate thatthere is a glossary at the end
of this of terms that um youknow that apply to college.
I mean, it's a new language,yeah, and uh it's just really
helpful for parents to know thenew language.
SPEAKER_02 (34:51):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (34:52):
Um, and then you also give a list of books for
parents and a book and a listfor of books for students.
We like books.
SPEAKER_02 (34:59):
Have we ever not talked about books, Lynn?
We have every year, we're thepodcast is now in its sixth
year, and every year we've donea podcast episode on summer
reads, things to read for thesummer.
And I think I think that'scoming up.
I'm not sure this year's hascome out yet.
(35:21):
Um, but you know, we've eachchosen two, three, four books
that we think are great, andwe've recommended them.
So I couldn't not recommend somebooks for parents to read and
then some books for students toread.
Um, and and you're right aboutthe terminology.
I mean, we've done two or threepodcast episodes, I think, on
(35:43):
just on that, yeah.
Talking the talk and knowing thelingo.
So um I compiled that a littlebit for uh it helps to have some
idea.
And when your student comes homeand starts spouting these terms,
uh, you have some idea of whatthey are.
SPEAKER_00 (36:01):
So well, I have to say I do recommend this book
highly.
SPEAKER_02 (36:06):
Thank you for your highly unbiased opinion.
SPEAKER_00 (36:09):
But but really, I it's um it's an it's filled with
such important information, butit's an easy read, also.
Yeah, I I really short chapters.
SPEAKER_02 (36:22):
I I mean it's a little scary when you know if
you look at the table ofcontents and there are 49
chapters, and you know, kind ofah, but I tried to keep most of
them to a page or two.
Um, and and rather than bigchapters that that you you know
(36:42):
you have to wade through to getthe information you need, uh, I
opted for lots of short, veryspecific chapters.
So, yes, hopefully parents sitdown and you know read it, but
also to be able to pick it up atany point in the summer and say,
I need to know something about afirst aid kit, and I can find
(37:05):
that chapter, and I don't haveto read a 15-page chapter to get
the information I need.
So, how do parents get thisbook?
Oh, um, it's only available onthe College Parent Central
website.
Okay.
Um, so that's the only place youcan get it.
And you just go toCollegeParentCentral.com and
(37:26):
then there's a tab that saysresources, and the drop down of
that has ebooks.
So you can go there and um readmore about it, get a little more
sense of what's in it, and uhorder it right there.
There's also another ebookthere.
(37:47):
Um, if you are not a parent of agraduate, um, but you have a
student in high school, there'sanother ebook there.
Um, some tips on that's a muchsmaller, shorter one, but um
some practical tips for usingthe last year or two of high
school to help them get ready.
(38:07):
So you could start with that andget help them through high
school, and then when it comestime for the summer before
college, uh move on to this one.
But collegeparentcentral.com,the tab that says resources and
then ebooks, and there you are.
SPEAKER_00 (38:26):
It's fabulous.
I wish I had had it back wayback.
Me too.
Fabulous job.
SPEAKER_02 (38:34):
Thanks for talking to me about it.
And I hope, um, I hope someparents will find it useful.
And uh uh I'm you know, we'llwe'll put I don't know, we'll
put the link if you go to theshow notes.
Um we'll put the link uh therein the show notes and uh also my
email address so that if youhave if you do get the book and
(38:57):
you have feedback, uh I'd loveto hear it.
Or uh if there are additionalquestions, um let me know.
SPEAKER_00 (39:05):
Well give us ideas for new new episodes.
SPEAKER_02 (39:08):
Yeah, that's true.
We'll keep talking abouteverything else.
Um, we also, though, by the way,do have um a series of three
episodes way back um that touchon these topics.
And then this allowed me, youknow, to go deeper in the book.
So if you look back to episodes43, 44, and 45, those are all
(39:34):
about summer prep.
So that would be some additionalinformation.
SPEAKER_00 (39:39):
Well, this is a very thorough um and easy read,
though, too.
Fabulous.
SPEAKER_02 (39:45):
Thanks.
SPEAKER_00 (39:46):
Thank you, Vicky.
Thanks for having me as a gueston the podcast.
SPEAKER_02 (39:52):
This was fun.
All right, thanks, everybody.
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