Ep. 209 — The Science of Small Shifts: Easy Midlife Coping Skills That Take No Time But Calm Stress and Anxiety Before The Holidays

Are you taking care of everyone else and forgetting yourself?
You’re not alone — midlife often turns self-care into an afterthought,
In this episode, you’ll discover:
1.    Why micro self-care shifts work better than big resolutions for midlife stress and anxiety.
2.    Four simple, science-backed coping skills that take no extra time and cost nothing.
3.    How to notice when caring for others starts to eclipse caring for yourself — and what to do about it.
 Take 10 minutes to rebuild your calm before the holiday rush — you’re worth it.

Send us a text

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Episode Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover quick
self-care shifts that keep youcalm and connected

MJ Murray Vachon LCSW (00:05):
welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, the
podcast where you and I tacklestress and anxiety in midlife so
you can stop feeling like crap,feel more present at home, and
thrive at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon a LicensedClinical Social Worker with over
50,000 hours of therapy sessionsand 32 years of teaching

(00:25):
practical science-backed mentalwellness.

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:29):
Welcome to the podcast.
On Monday, I shared why addingmore light to your mornings is
one of the smartest self-caremoves you can make.
This time of year fall shorterdays can quietly drain your
energy and mood, but that lightreset helps your body remember
how to feel awake, calm, andsteady.
It's the perfect example of realself-care.

(00:51):
Something small that fits intoyour life, leans into your
biology, and helps you feelbetter without demanding more
from you.
In this episode, we're gonnabuild on this idea of
non-demanding self care, whereyou're gonna discover why micro
self-care changes are moreeffective than big resolutions
this time of year for smallscience-backed ways to restore

(01:15):
your calm before the holidaysthat don't require trips to the
gym or lots of time that youdon't have.
And how to recognize when yourcare for others starts to
overshadow your care foryourself.
But let's begin by checking inon Monday's Inner Challenge.
Your challenge was to createyour own fall light reset,

(01:37):
either spending 20 minutes eachmorning with a light box or
swapping one bulb in yourworkspace for full spectrum.
LED.
One of my clients put a fullspectrum light on his work desk
and was amazed how this smallshift really helped.
That's what happens when youcooperate with your biology.
You don't have to overhaul yourlife.

(01:58):
You just have to align with whatyour body naturally needs at
this time of year.
Fall is the perfect season formicro changes.
Tiny acts of self care thatremind you to care for yourself
as your focus turns towardsothers.
Remember that idea of temporallandmarks we talked about on
Monday?
It still applies.

(02:20):
This season gives you a naturalreset point.
Nature is literally modelingrest and recalibration.
Why not lean into it headinginto November?
Your goal can't really be to doless because let's be honest,
the holidays are a part-timejob.
We all pay for, but you can takea few minutes to build easy

(02:40):
structures into your day thathelp you feel better and keep
you grounded.
These micro shifts don't taketime.
They give it back.
Your goal isn't to do more.
It's to integrate small scienceback changes that help you stay
steady when everything aroundyou pulls your attention
outward.

(03:01):
Because when you forgetyourself, your body eventually
reminds you Through fatigue,irritability, nighttime waking,
or that restless feeling thatsomething's off.
These micro shifts are how youlisten to that whisper before it
becomes a shout.
And here's the tricky part.
As the season ramps up, caringfor everyone else can start to

(03:24):
feel like your full-time job.
That's often when anxiety, andto be honest, resentment sneak
in, not because you're doing toomuch but because you've stopped
tending to yourself the simplestway to notice it when everything
on your to-do list servessomeone else.
And your own name isn't on it.

(03:45):
So let me share with you foursmall self-care micro shifts
that you can do that really makea big difference.
Why?
Because they lean into what yourbody needs.
And after all, self-care reallyis just giving your body and
mind what they need in order todo their job.
Self-care.

(04:05):
Micro shift number one, drinkenough water.
Hydration is one of the simplestand most overlooked coping
skills.
Studies show even mild hydrationcan increase fatigue, anxiety,
and brain fog by up to 30%.
The science says aim for halfyour body weight in ounces of
water a day.

(04:26):
So if you weigh 160 pounds,that's around 80 ounces, 200
pounds.
That's a hundred ounces.
You don't have to measureperfectly.
Just start early and sipconsistently.
If that's a lot more water thanyou usually drink, just add 10
ounces a day.
When your body has what itneeds, your mind follows.

(04:46):
I've worked with thousands ofpeople on this one and the two
biggest benefits.
Less mind fog and better sleep.
Here's a tip, buy a water bottleyou actually love.
I have a beautiful glass one mydaughter bought me.
I fell it twice a day at workand each time I do, I think, oh,
I love this bottle and I love mykids.

(05:09):
That's a small pleasure.
Makes it easy to stick withmicro shift number two.
Take a 10 to 15 minute walk.
Movement is medicine.
Stanford research shows a 10minute brisk walk can lift mood
for up to two hours.
Walking outdoors also boostsoxygen and serotonin.
Both reduce anxiety and mentalclutter.

(05:32):
Plus you get the light therapywe talked about on Monday.
The key is to blend this walkinto what you already do.
Walk around the block while youdrink your coffee or have a
meeting at Work Park fartheraway, or take a quick stroll
between tasks.
Remember, the best walk is theone that actually happens.

(05:52):
One client made a deal withherself.
She could only scroll whilewalking.
Now, personally, I would trip,but it did work for her because
she found that walking whilescrolling either made her stop
scrolling and do something moreproductive, or she kept walking
and felt better.
Remember, lots of people driveto the gym to walk on a

(06:12):
treadmill, but you can walkaround your house briskly for 10
minutes and get the same effect.
Here's the takeaway.
Don't have time for a walk.
Check how many minutes youscroll and subtract.
10.
You'll find your time rightthere.
Self-care, micro shift.
Number three, eat breakfast andlunch.
Skipping meals spikes cortisol,the stress hormone, and sets you

(06:35):
up for overeating later in theday.
Balanced meals early in the day,stabilize your blood sugar,
which will stabilize your mood.
Think protein and fiber, eggsand toast, yogurt and fruit, or
leftovers from dinner.
When you feed your bodyregularly, you smooth out the
emotional spikes that can mimicanxiety.

(06:56):
I can't tell you how manyclients skip breakfast or lunch
and wonder why they're exhaustedor snacking nonstop by four.
Here's what I tell them.
Grab and go works.
Keep healthy protein bars,yogurt cups, bananas or healthy
microwave meals on hand.
Cook Dinner with the idea thatyou can use leftovers for lunch.

(07:17):
It doesn't have to be fancy.
Just eat early and keep yourenergy even.
This is even more importantduring the holidays where food
is everywhere.
Want more willpower?
Eat breakfast and lunch.
Self-care.
Micro shift number four, takeyour phone out of the bedroom.
Yep.
Studies from the University ofPittsburgh show phone use before

(07:40):
bed disrupts melatonin andshortens deep sleep cycle.
That's the sleep that helps youfeel refreshed.
Removing your phone helps yournervous system downshift and
signals your body.
It's safe to rest.
Check out episodes 1 21 and 1 22for the science.
Let's admit it, most of us havea ping pong relationship with

(08:02):
our phones.
Sometimes they're in our room,sometimes they're out for the
holidays.
Give yourself the gift oftalking it in outside your room.
Buy that$9 alarm clock, or goretro and grab one at Goodwill.
If you truly need your phone foremergencies, plug it in just
outside your door where you canhear it, but have to get up to

(08:23):
reach it.
Nothing will save your sleepmore than this freebie that
costs zero time or money.
These small steps may not lookdramatic, but they're quietly
powerful.
They don't require time, money,or motivation.
They just require awareness anda little bit of intention.

(08:43):
So put those post-it notesaround that remind you to drink.
Walk, eat, and sleep.
Yep.
That is really the basics ofself-care.
No need for a fancy gym unlessthat's your jam.
When your thoughts startshifting toward creating a
special holiday for everyoneelse.
These habits remind you that youdeserve care too.

(09:04):
You don't have to wait for a newseason, a new month, or a new
you Start with one shift today.
That's all it takes to beginbuilding calm.
In this episode, you discoveredwhy fall is the best time to
reset your self-care rhythm formicro changes, to anchor your
calm, hydration, walking, eatingregularly, and phone free sleep,

(09:28):
and how small structure, not bigeffort, keeps anxiety and stress
from building during yourholidays.
If this episode helps you pauseand care for yourself, please
share it with a friend who coulduse a little calm too.
I encourage you to find a buddyfor this holiday season.
Someone you can check in withand gently remind each other to

(09:50):
drink water, eat real meals,walk a little and sleep enough
to feel merry and bright,because sometimes sharing care
is another way to practice it.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Monday with more
creating midlife calm.