July 2, 2025 • 27 mins
Cut The Tie Podcast with Thomas Helfrich
Episode 284
Angela Belford knows what it’s like to be unstoppable—and still feel like she’s falling short. In this honest and deeply relatable episode of Cut the Tie, Thomas Helfrich sits down with the speaker, coach, and marketing agency founder to talk about cutting ties with perfectionism, toxic productivity, and the lie that you have to earn your worth.
Angela shares how childhood trauma, undiagnosed ADHD, and a lifelong drive to be enough shaped her journey as an entrepreneur, parent, and leader. Through real healing—including raw emotional work, mindset rewiring, and giving herself radical grace—Angela rebuilt not just her business, but her identity.
About Angela Belford:
Angela is an executive coach, speaker, and the co-owner of a second-generation marketing and communications agency. She works closely with second-gen business owners and leaders navigating complex transitions and identity shifts. Angela is also the author of Traveling Light and co-host of the Be Freaking Awesome podcast. Her approach is grounded in lived experience, deep self-work, and a passion for helping others move through the messy middle of transformation.
In this episode, Thomas and Angela discuss:
- Why perfectionism was never the goal
Angela opens up about how “I’m not enough” shaped her work ethic and made her success feel hollow, even as she built a thriving business and beautiful life. - The cost of hustle culture
Being rewarded for overachieving masked deeper emotional wounds. Angela explains how she broke the cycle of validation through exhaustion. - ADHD, trauma, and identity
Angela shares her journey of diagnosis and self-acceptance—and how she uses that insight to guide others with compassion and humor. - How radical grace changes everything
Angela discusses what it means to stop running, start feeling, and lead from wholeness, not hustle. - Why vulnerability creates real leadership
From crying in closets to public apologies, Angela shows how owning your truth builds trust and lasting impact.
Key Takeaways:
- “I’m not enough” is a lie worth unlearning
Your drive might be rooted in pain. Healing begins when you stop running from it. - Achievement won’t fix your identity
Success is fleeting when it’s built on needing to prove your worth. - Grace is a leadership superpower
The more you accept yourself, the more powerful your impact on others. - Feel your feelings—or stay stuck
There’s no shortcut through emotional growth. You have to sit with it. - Be proud of walking, not just sprinting
Even slow progress counts. Especially when it’s intentional.
Connect with Angela Belford:
🎙 Podcast: Be Freaking Awesome
🌐 Website: www.angelabelford.com
💼 LinkedIn: Angela Belford
Connect with Thomas Helfrich:
🐦 Twitter: @thelfrich
📘 Facebook: Cut The Tie Community
💼 LinkedIn: Thomas Helfrich
🌐 Website: www.cutthetie.com
📧 Email: t@instantlyrelevant.com
🚀 I
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
I'm your host, thomas Helfrich,and I'm on a mission to help
you cut the tie to whatever itis holding you back from success
.
And today we're joined byAngela Belford.
Angela, how are you today?
Fantastic, how are you?
I am delightful, borderlinedelicious, we don't know.
Take a moment and introduceyourself, and what it is you do
(00:29):
a moment and introduce yourselfand what it is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm Angela Belford.
I embrace and I enjoy everymoment of my ADD self and so I
do a lot of things and peopleare like, oh my goodness, you do
so many things and I'm like, no, I'm just old, you guys.
So I have owned my own businesswith my business partner and
husband for 26 years next month.
That's also a big deal becauseI was 26 when I bought that
company.
So it's kind of feeling very,you know, half of my life.
(00:55):
So I own a marketing agency,communication agency.
It is now second generation.
My daughter is also working inthe company and helps do
communication coaching.
I do a lot of executivecoaching for people that second
generation moving up in theirbusiness, people wanting to
start businesses.
I'm an author, I'm a speaker andprobably my favorite title is
(01:17):
Lala.
So I have two grandchildren,two grandsons right now, peter
and Henry and I had a friendlong time ago that called me
Angelala, and so that's mygrandma name is Lala.
So my youngest daughter.
I have three, three adultchildren, and my youngest says
if you actually want her toanswer, you don't call her
Angela, don't call her mom, callher Lala and she will answer
(01:38):
literally every single time, sothat's neat.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
You know you get called a lot of names in your
life.
My favorite name I've ever beencalled is Daddy, so I think
that's kind of the thing.
Yeah, you get it.
I definitely appreciate that.
We'll talk about your journey alittle bit and on that journey
I'm sure you've had a few tiesto cut to get to the success
level you're at.
Tell me what the biggest onewas.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Tell me what the biggest one was.
Well, so my journey is.
The bullet points are that Igrew up in four different
families.
I was a client of SalvationArmy, so experienced
homelessness, experienced hunger, lots of different insecurities
, lots of different childhoodtraumas.
(02:23):
And when you ask what's themoment that you cut the tie,
there's so many different onesbecause I think I just I've
imagined my life as like I wasrunning on a beach and there
were different ropes that wereholding onto me and I would run
and I would stop and I wouldhave to cut one and then I would
run some more and I would cutthe next one.
So when I turned 18, I decidedthat my life had sucked and now
(02:45):
that I was an adult, I was notgoing to let it suck anymore.
I was 26 when I decided that Iknew the only person in my
family that was successful andnot living in poverty and not on
welfare was my uncle, who had abusiness.
So when I was 26, I had theopportunity to buy a business.
I did that, but the one that Ireally want to talk about is
(03:10):
over the last several years Irecognized that, running and
trying to outrun my life, I hadreally embedded a lot of beliefs
that I had learned and I hadtried so hard.
I'd been on a professionaldevelopment, personal
development journey for, I mean,20 years and I came to realize
(03:32):
that the drive that I had, theinsatiable energy that I had,
was actually from trying tooutrun the belief.
I'm not enough.
No matter how hard I try, it'snever good enough.
To outrun the belief.
I'm not enough.
No matter how hard I try, it'snever good enough.
And when I began to recognizehow insidious that belief was
(03:53):
and I had worked on it and I'dgone to counseling and I'd gone
to all of these things, but Ibegan to see that it was
everywhere in my life, it waswhen you live with that belief.
It's how you see the wholeworld.
So then, my, you own amarketing agency.
It's never enough.
Like your staff, like, come on,you guys, we get to be better,
we can be better, we can bebetter, which is good.
(04:13):
And until it's not right, I had, I would pursue of excellence
and and struggled withperfectionism.
But as I watched my childrenbecome adults and struggled
perfection, perfectionism,because they could never live up
to my expectations, I realizedI had to stop and I had to
really unpack that and figureout what, why and how do I solve
(04:39):
this?
I'm not enough, and so that wasa how did you solve it though?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, so great question.
I, so that is a yeah.
How did you solve it though?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, so great question.
I wrote a whole book about that, so I'll try to summarize it
down.
This will be good practice.
I'm giving this kind of talk acouple of times the next couple
of weeks and I would say thatthe first thing I had to do is I
had to stop running right andrecognize that that was the
belief that was driving me, andI had to.
(05:08):
I had always thought, oh,positive thinking, like we
should just think our way out ofit, we should just improve our
mindset, and what I had toactually do is stop and like
feel what was happening in mybody with that, and I you know,
my therapist would try toexplain I need to feel my
feelings.
I didn't know what the crapthat try to explain.
I need to feel my feelings.
I didn't know what the crapthat meant.
Like, of course I feel myfeelings.
Why do you think I'm yelling atyou and now I want whiskey and
(05:30):
I want to eat another brownie?
Of course I feel my feelings.
And she's like you're trying tooutrun your feelings and so
learning how to just sit withmyself and like let everything
come up and like that meant thatthere were a couple of days
that I like cried a lot.
There were some days that I waslike I cried for 12 minutes and
then I was fine, right, and Ijust I went through just a phase
(05:51):
and it was probably six oreight months where I had to like
, every time it came up thatemotion, I would have to like
pause and step out.
Sometimes I did have to likehold it down for a minute
because I had to finish themeeting I was in, right, and
then I would step out and takelunch and really let all of
those feelings come up, let allof that bubble up and stop
(06:11):
pushing it down anymore.
And as those bubbled up and Ibegan to see where they were
planted, in the lies that I hadbelieved about myself, and so
then I could begin to go like,ok, I believed that I was flaky.
Well, it turned out, no, I wasjust undiagnosed ADHD for most
of my half my life, right.
And then I figured out Iliterally had to write evidence.
Okay, I'm going to be thedefense attorney and I'm going
(06:33):
to prove that I'm flaky.
And now I'm going to be theprosecutor and I'm going to
prove that you're not flaky.
I flipped that, but anyway.
And so anything that like thatwould come up.
(06:57):
I would like go okay, maybe Iam.
That was the biggest strategy,that and it freaks out my
clients when I take them throughthis then I really had to just
be okay, like I could literallygo okay, so what if you're flaky
?
Now what?
Now, what does that mean?
Is that bad?
Is that a problem?
Why is that a problem?
Like, maybe it's not true, I'vegot the evidence.
But then if it is true, whocares, who cares?
(07:20):
And so then that was just sucha deep acceptance of who I
actually am and really like.
Then I had to feel that deep,deep man, that's making my gut
like whoo.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
That's a better joke.
If you cry, you get more airtime.
It's easy.
You touched on somethingimportant there and I say it in
my book a bunch is you know,that might explain it why you're
flaky or whatever else, or ADHD, but it doesn't excuse it.
It just gives you the place tostart from and we use that a lot
, like you know.
It's one of those things where Ithis year, my big tie to cut is
(07:57):
adult ADHD.
So I went and did the forwardformal diagnosis.
I'm starting with justsupplements and then I'm going
to move into whatever's next forthat.
I mean, I have a very specificuse case around what I want to
do with that.
But the point being is I'vemade it an excuse forever of of
it.
But I'm starting to realizethat us ADHDers we can run a
marathon as fast as anyone andyou get cheered the whole way
(08:19):
because you're going so fast andit's amazing, how does he do
that?
Then you see the finish lineand you can in like you hit a
force field and you can'tfreaking get across it and it's
like you know what, screw it.
I'm gonna go run anothermarathon 25 miles because
everyone cheered me there.
No one's cheering me to go tothat last mile and that's how I
feel like it's like oh my god,there's the finish line.
Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Well, and I will say that the idea of what the sorry,
the I'm not good enough, whatit caused me to look like was a
workaholic, and in Americansociety, and especially
entrepreneurship culture, likethat looks good.
(09:02):
There's a whole lot of rewardsLike you're providing for your
family, ooh, you're in me andmarketing agency I'm helping
other people.
There's so many rewards fordoing this thing.
And when you are recognizingthat like the burnout is coming
and there are days where I don'tcare, I know what I need to do
(09:24):
and I cannot get it over theline, and those are when you
really have to have thereckoning and this and you have
to almost disconnect even thepositive rewards that you get
for being a workaholic, aperfectionism, all of those
things, and you have to go likeno, no, no, I'm still going to
love myself and I'm still goingto like accept who I am.
(09:46):
Then when you do, then yourbrain like calms down and goes
oh well, okay, if you're stillgonna like be nice to me,
because I would have clients.
They were like no, no, angela,there's no way love is going to
be the answer.
That's ridiculous.
(10:06):
You're a business person, youhave two degrees in business and
you think love is the answer,and I'm like, I'm telling you
will be so much more motivated,it will be so much deeper and so
much real, because the personthat yells at you the most,
that's the harshest on you, isthat voice in your head, right,
and if you can get it to calmdown, then you are.
It's so much less draining andtherefore you do have more
(10:28):
energy and you can say, okay,well, what would happen if I
step up to that, that finishline?
What if I step over?
What if I walk that last mile?
Right, you still got the lastmile done, right, even if you
didn't race that last mile, ifyou just walked that last mile.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Agreed and that's where I like you know, as an
author, you know 95% of it isprocrastination.
So that's like the process ofwriting, but at least for me.
But as I'm finishing this bookright and it's like I'm'm done,
it was literally with thepublisher.
My wife read it and I'm, andshe's like hey, I, I think you
should do, and I take her inputincredibly seriously because
(11:04):
it's the most honest and it'spolar opposite of me.
And she's like you gotta, yougotta shorten it.
Um, you gotta portray thesethings differently.
People are gonna read this andnot get.
That's not true.
And I was like all right, so Ipulled it back from the
publisher.
I'm like I need to fix thingsand so now I think it's going to
come out of work product.
But now I'm looking, I'm like Iwas at the finish line, I was
about to get author's copy andnow I'm back a mile again.
(11:25):
I'm gonna have to go walk thatlast mile.
But I'm like you know what Ihave to?
Because it wasn't complete, itwasn't.
So I was like, oh, it's hard,because I'm like I want to get
up.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, well, I've worked with a couple of authors
and one of them I literally saiddo you just want to get this
over the line or do you wantsomebody to tell you what
actually needs to be improved onit?
And you really have to.
You have to know yourself andtrust yourself to be able to
know do I really need to pullthis back, or is this
(11:58):
procrastination?
In that case, what I love, thetip and tool I hope people hear
is that you actually letsomebody else check you, because
if it was your ownprocrastination like I read it
and it's still not right, it'sstill not right.
It's still not right.
Man, that is hard, likesometimes.
That is our procrastination,like perfectionism.
We're going to risk, you know,rejection, all of that.
But I think there's wisdom inthen, surrounding yourself as
(12:20):
somebody you can trust, to say,okay, I, I, you are going to be
more proud of it now that youpulled it back.
You know, and you probablylearned a lot about yourself in
that process.
I would bet of that like no,look, I can pull it back, make
it better, and look, I'm stillgoing to finish.
I think you're probably goingto like trust yourself at such a
(12:40):
deeper level.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
No, no question.
And the whole point of the bookis is this move from fear,
excuse black hole to this morebig bang of vulnerability,
gratefulness, and I'm like I'mnot vulnerable enough in the in
the story, I'm not taking enoughaccountability and and and that
, and I was like I'm portrayingher slightly incorrect where
she's really kind of the driverof a lot of the things that you
know, stuff that I miss.
So the point being isincorporating some of those
(13:03):
ideas in has been so valuable.
Now I did share it to a dozenpeople who gave me some really
good feedback.
The one thing that they said,nicely, that I didn't get to my
wife's like, hey, it's too long.
I didn't occur until I startedrewriting the first half of the
ends because I was like, oh, myGod, I want to be done with this
.
Reading this, it's too much.
I'm like, oh, it's too fuckinglong, yeah, and so I'm like I'm
(13:23):
going to go through and it mightbe a good GPT exercise of I
want to shorten this to 40% ofwhat's there.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What are the most impactful stories I have in here
?
And and just in like, withoutbeing repetitive, and I think
it'll come out way better.
It's like anything else, themore tight your content is.
Anyway, it's the point withyour, with your current, you
just have this conversation, butis that you?
You had this need that you'renot enough and you can.
You got to do more and be more,and it's mixed with ADHD and
(13:54):
this procrastination piece whichis just.
If you don't have this outthere, you can, you can check
out, it's fine If you're an ADHDor you're understanding you
probably are in relationshipwith somebody that has ADD, so
keep listening, because theyprobably hear this.
If you don't have it understandwhat this is, what it is for the
ADHD, or who takes all theinformation in at once and
cannot organize it very well.
Opposite of the other person,the procrastination piece, or
(14:16):
the feeling that you're notenough, is very prevalent, and
it's incredibly maddening forthat person to feel like they
can never, ever get off thathamster wheel themselves.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I remember I read this book and golly, it's been
15 years ago.
But it was women with ADHD.
And the one of the stories wasabout this woman and she's like
I have I don't know.
It was like a PhD in physics orsomething.
I mean, it was a reallyimpressive this bachelor's,
master's, and then a PhD.
(14:45):
And she was like I stand infront of my closet in tears
because I cannot figure out howto organize my clothes.
So how is it that I can solvethese crazy hard problems?
But things like getting acloset organized will just bring
you to tears.
And I started sobbing and Icall mine and my friends and I'm
just sobbing and she's like areyou okay?
(15:06):
Did you have a car accident?
I don't know why I picked her.
I still to this day do not knowwhy it was her that I called
her.
But I'm like I just didn't evenknow it was.
I say I enjoy every minute of myADHD until I don't realize
there's a bug.
I just think it's just afeature.
You know, like it's a feature,not a.
(15:26):
And then you go, oh, it's a bug.
And then when it, when iterodes our self-confidence and
when it, and when it justexacerbates our self-doubt then.
Then you go okay.
Well, I don't love that part.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
You're, oh my gosh, like we were describing there.
Like I do all our home repairand I get to the end of it and I
see all the mess and thecleanup and I literally want to
cry because I'm like it'soverwhelming and I've gotten
better about.
I'm just going to start withjust this one, five, four.
I'm going to clean.
I have to like every little bit, 1%, and my wife will come down
(15:58):
and organize or we'll bebuilding something that's
organization driven, and I'llstart to challenge her.
I'm like you know what?
No, just tell me what you needto build, don't explain why.
And she's like well, I don't, Idon't care why, cause I already
know it's right.
And I was like just tell mewhat to go do next, right now,
cause that then I can executeand it's unbelievable.
But if I'm left to it, holy cow, it's the most stressful thing
in the world.
Is the my closet?
(16:19):
I would never show someone mycloset.
It's because I it is pure ADHDplayed out in front of me yes, I
have.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I will tell you, the trick that I have learned is I
will do things.
I have to.
I have to put walls around it.
So by that I mean like I'llhave a box, or I will like I've
cleaned out closets by beingable to go, I'm just going to do
one box, I'm just going to doone box, and then I make sure I
celebrate that one box.
(16:47):
And if I don't have a box, thenwhat I'll do?
I used to put a basket in.
If I was in this room, I wouldput a basket at every door and
anything that didn't go in thisroom I just put it in that
basket.
That way I couldn't walk toanother room and I would just
put it.
And then I was like, okay, well, at least this room, everything
that is in this room, belongsin this room.
And then a different day I willwork on that basket.
(17:09):
And there's people that have tofinish.
They have this insatiable needto finish, which I don't even
understand how your brain works.
I wish it did.
But they're like how could youeven start if you don't know
that you can finish?
And I'm like I don't know, thisis what worked.
And I, for a while I would havelike well, you won't see me, I
will not show the rest of mycamera because I have boxes of
like I need to get to that box.
(17:29):
I don't have really a place forthat box.
Now my husband, I both haveADHD and so well, and I just saw
this morning something thatsaid we are attention deficit
different.
We don't have a disorder, whichI have always thought, and I
don't.
Even people are like how do youpeople even function?
I'm like pretty great actually.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, we just I don't like the word disorder, because
the world was set up by peoplewho didn't have it, because they
were organized enough to do it.
I'll leave you with this.
The video cameras for any ADHDyears are like the beach.
So we go like the Caribbeanbeach you look out, it's
gorgeous.
You look back and it looks liketerrible, like there's shanties
, and that's that's the ADHDcamera view.
And then I won't move mineeither, cause it could be better
(18:09):
.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
All right, tell me about some grace, grace for me,
grace for the people around me.
I have friends or clientsthat'll that'll like call me and
talk about their husband like,oh I go.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Oh my gosh, it sucks that you have to be married to a
human right and and the factthat they called you well, just
as an adhd or we do not like thephone.
We don't want to be on thatphone.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm not that way, oh and.
I don't have that, that's.
The other thing is that ADHD isnot just one citizen Like.
There is like a whole range,and I think we'll eventually
figure out that everybody is onthe spectrum at some level.
And so it's just like becauseeven people that claim to not
have any kind of ADHD oranything, they can be like OCD
and like, oh, I have to have mydesk perfectly clean, we all got
(19:00):
something, anyway, all that, soI have grace for myself, I have
grace for the people around me.
When my daughter came to me andsaid was telling a story about
figuring out at work that shefelt like she wasn't lovable if
she wasn't perfect, and she gotpressed on this and, like mom, I
think it's because you need tobe perfect, pressed on this, and
(19:23):
, like mom, I think it's becauseyou need to be perfect.
And I could, in my ownsettledness, say to her yes,
that's true, and I've apologizedand I'll apologize again and
I'll walk with you through this,because I didn't have to make
it about me, because I alreadyhad grace for myself, because
younger me didn't know what thecrap she was doing, like she was
doing the best she could.
And now my daughter, I couldwalk with it, with her, and I
(19:43):
could.
I could demonstrate this toother people and I can teach
them how to have grace by havinggrace for myself.
Do I get it right every singleday?
No, no, no, no, I still, and Inoticed that when I'm around
other people that are fightingthat this is my newest thing
I've realized is that peoplethat haven't gone through the
healing and they're still drivenby that need.
I'm easily triggered by themand I like fall into their trap
(20:06):
for a minute and then I go, ohwait a minute, hang on a minute,
let's stop that.
So I'm still on the journey.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
It's amazing.
What advice would you give tothe listener?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
stop and get to know yourself, like I think we are.
You know, my book has a littleblurb on it that says the guide
for people who were told quitcrying or I'll give you
something to cry about.
I think there's a wholepopulation of people that were
raised with that and then we allraised those kids.
So there's a whole lot of oursociety that thinks that's a
thing and it's not a thing.
I think if you're the oppositeand you're like a toxic
positivity person, like no, no,just it's mindset, it's all that
(20:44):
mindset, you have to firstacknowledge that sometimes
things do suck and so it's okayto say man, this sucks.
Man, this is hard.
I'm gonna be sad for a minuteor an hour or a day if you need
to, but just like be okay with,like getting to know yourself,
allowing yourself to have somefeelings, and then have a lot of
grace and compassion.
(21:05):
Man, you're still up on thisworld.
We're not visiting you in thecemetery, so you still got time.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Right, that's a good point.
All right, so rapid fire here.
Who gives you inspiration?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
My children, my grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
They are Almost the children, better than
grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Well, it's funny because there are so many things
like with my children that Iwanted them to be perfect
because I made it me about meright.
And so with my grandchildren Iactually go like, oh, like I'm
not going to let my like it'smind blowing to me.
(21:46):
I can remember needing mytwo-year-old daughter to be
perfect because that meantsomething about me, and that is
laughable when I look at mytwo-year-old grandson.
And so they do inspire mebecause I think and I've had a
couple of people that have usedthis and I say, if I wouldn't
say it to Peter and Henry, I'mnot going to say it to myself so
(22:06):
they do inspire me in that howI treat them is more.
I've learned to treat myselfgentle, and I think when you're
raising kids, you're still onyour journey.
You make it all about you,which we need to stop.
You're a first time parent, likethey're a first-time child, so
the best business advice you'veever gotten- man I would love to
(22:28):
say it's hire fast or hire slow, fire fast, and that is good
advice, and I'm not very good attaking it.
I take it super duper seriously.
I would say that the bestadvice is to, if you're going to
be in business, do what you canto reduce the amount of monthly
spend that you need.
(22:48):
So really curb your lifestyleand make sure you're not running
out of debt, because I've hadto make bad decisions on
business because I had a carpayment and a credit card
payment and all these things andI had to take the client and so
getting out of debt and livinga lifestyle that makes sense.
That said, anybody that knowsme knows I travel like a crazy
(23:11):
person, so I also believe inmultiple streams of income.
I'm not just putting all myeggs in one basket, so one
stream of income pays for all myplay.
So, yeah, I guess that's two.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Like that Reduce the debt and then create one stream
and then another.
So if anyone goes down, you gotsavings and I love that.
What's that must read book?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Interesting.
I have always said Think andGrow rich.
And then about two years ago Iread it with a group of female
life coaches and I didn'trealize how misogynistic it was.
So I still think it's got a lotof great wisdom.
So I will say Traveling Light,free Yourself from the Crap in
(23:57):
your Head.
By Angela Delbert.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
So, listen, it's shame versus emotion.
This is the one time you canmake it all about you.
That's fine, I'm okay with it.
Yeah, I think through this bookand here's why if there was a
time in your life you could goback to and you can change, when
would you do that and whatwould you change or do?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
It would only be the times that I was a jerk to
people so like I.
There's a story that comes upand I share it in my book about
how there was a very trustedmember of my staff, and this is
when I I've wandered off acouple of times and ran other
(24:36):
companies while somebody elseran my company times and ran
other companies while somebodyelse ran my company, and so I
was running a different companyand there was somebody that was
trusted and I was disrespectfulto them in front of everybody
and luckily one of their teammembers called me out on it and
I was able to apologize to themin person.
But I think in my drive to I'mnot enough.
I treated people badly and soanything it would be, it would
(25:00):
be like I would go back and justfix how I treated them.
And yet also, as soon as I saythat, my brain's like yeah, but
you wouldn't have gotten todemonstrate that incredible
vulnerable leadership and Iearned so many more points by
having to stand there and likein tears, go like I can't
believe I did this and I'm verysorry and I've apologized for it
privately, and now I'mapologizing, so maybe I wouldn't
(25:22):
change anything, maybe I'm allpart of the journey.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Things happen for you , not to you, right, that's
right.
If there was a question Ishould have asked you today and
I didn't, what would thatquestion have been and how would
you answer it?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So I'll do it like this.
I ask this question a lot is, Isay what is something that
you're grateful to 18 year oldyou?
What decision they made orsomething they did?
And I'm very happy with thechoice I made in Life Partner
and the choice to invest in myeducation, even though it didn't
make a lot of sense.
I'm very happy with 18 year oldme for that.
(25:58):
And my follow up to that islet's think about 10 years from
now, that version of you.
What are they grateful for?
And I promise they're going tobe grateful for the how
seriously I take my health.
Like I, I make regular likeadjustments to supplements and
exercise and and.
And exercise to me is not goingto the gym, so it's walking,
(26:20):
it's biking, it's biking, it'sfinding ways to be active.
And next I want to find ways to.
Weightlifting is supposed to bea thing with women over 40 and
I hate it so much.
So I'm trying to find a way.
But that's what 60 year old mewill be.
I'm thankful that I really tookmy health seriously.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Awesome.
Thank you so much for joiningtoday.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Absolutely.
How do people get ahold of youand who should get a hold of you
?
I love, love, love working withsecond generation business
owners as an executive coach.
It is so much fun for me andI'm everywhere at Angela Belford
, so AngelaBelfordcom and allthe socials you can always find
(26:59):
me.
I have a very fun podcastcalled Be Freaking Awesome that
I co-host with my daughter,sammy, so there are some really
fun, really vulnerable.
We do messy middle a lot, soit's not polished and pretty
always.
It's sometimes we're in themiddle of learning and growing.
So but Angela Belford, all theplaces- Awesome, thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I Awesome Thank you.
I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
And for anyone still listening I appreciate you
Listen, get out there, go followthe podcast on Apple and
Spotify and go out there and cuta tie to something holding you
back and unleash the bestversion of yourself.
Thanks,
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
I'm your host, thomas Helfrich,and I'm on a mission to help
you cut the tie to whatever itis holding you back from success
.
And today we're joined byAngela Belford.
Angela, how are you today?
Fantastic, how are you?
I am delightful, borderlinedelicious, we don't know.
Take a moment and introduceyourself, and what it is you do
(00:29):
a moment and introduce yourselfand what it is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
I'm Angela Belford.
I embrace and I enjoy everymoment of my ADD self and so I
do a lot of things and peopleare like, oh my goodness, you do
so many things and I'm like, no, I'm just old, you guys.
So I have owned my own businesswith my business partner and
husband for 26 years next month.
That's also a big deal becauseI was 26 when I bought that
company.
So it's kind of feeling very,you know, half of my life.
(00:55):
So I own a marketing agency,communication agency.
It is now second generation.
My daughter is also working inthe company and helps do
communication coaching.
I do a lot of executivecoaching for people that second
generation moving up in theirbusiness, people wanting to
start businesses.
I'm an author, I'm a speaker andprobably my favorite title is
(01:17):
Lala.
So I have two grandchildren,two grandsons right now, peter
and Henry and I had a friendlong time ago that called me
Angelala, and so that's mygrandma name is Lala.
So my youngest daughter.
I have three, three adultchildren, and my youngest says
if you actually want her toanswer, you don't call her
Angela, don't call her mom, callher Lala and she will answer
(01:38):
literally every single time, sothat's neat.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
You know you get called a lot of names in your
life.
My favorite name I've ever beencalled is Daddy, so I think
that's kind of the thing.
Yeah, you get it.
I definitely appreciate that.
We'll talk about your journey alittle bit and on that journey
I'm sure you've had a few tiesto cut to get to the success
level you're at.
Tell me what the biggest onewas.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Tell me what the biggest one was.
Well, so my journey is.
The bullet points are that Igrew up in four different
families.
I was a client of SalvationArmy, so experienced
homelessness, experienced hunger, lots of different insecurities
, lots of different childhoodtraumas.
(02:23):
And when you ask what's themoment that you cut the tie,
there's so many different onesbecause I think I just I've
imagined my life as like I wasrunning on a beach and there
were different ropes that wereholding onto me and I would run
and I would stop and I wouldhave to cut one and then I would
run some more and I would cutthe next one.
So when I turned 18, I decidedthat my life had sucked and now
(02:45):
that I was an adult, I was notgoing to let it suck anymore.
I was 26 when I decided that Iknew the only person in my
family that was successful andnot living in poverty and not on
welfare was my uncle, who had abusiness.
So when I was 26, I had theopportunity to buy a business.
I did that, but the one that Ireally want to talk about is
(03:10):
over the last several years Irecognized that, running and
trying to outrun my life, I hadreally embedded a lot of beliefs
that I had learned and I hadtried so hard.
I'd been on a professionaldevelopment, personal
development journey for, I mean,20 years and I came to realize
(03:32):
that the drive that I had, theinsatiable energy that I had,
was actually from trying tooutrun the belief.
I'm not enough.
No matter how hard I try, it'snever good enough.
To outrun the belief.
I'm not enough.
No matter how hard I try, it'snever good enough.
And when I began to recognizehow insidious that belief was
(03:53):
and I had worked on it and I'dgone to counseling and I'd gone
to all of these things, but Ibegan to see that it was
everywhere in my life, it waswhen you live with that belief.
It's how you see the wholeworld.
So then, my, you own amarketing agency.
It's never enough.
Like your staff, like, come on,you guys, we get to be better,
we can be better, we can bebetter, which is good.
(04:13):
And until it's not right, I had, I would pursue of excellence
and and struggled withperfectionism.
But as I watched my childrenbecome adults and struggled
perfection, perfectionism,because they could never live up
to my expectations, I realizedI had to stop and I had to
really unpack that and figureout what, why and how do I solve
(04:39):
this?
I'm not enough, and so that wasa how did you solve it though?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Yeah, so great question.
I, so that is a yeah.
How did you solve it though?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, so great question.
I wrote a whole book about that, so I'll try to summarize it
down.
This will be good practice.
I'm giving this kind of talk acouple of times the next couple
of weeks and I would say thatthe first thing I had to do is I
had to stop running right andrecognize that that was the
belief that was driving me, andI had to.
(05:08):
I had always thought, oh,positive thinking, like we
should just think our way out ofit, we should just improve our
mindset, and what I had toactually do is stop and like
feel what was happening in mybody with that, and I you know,
my therapist would try toexplain I need to feel my
feelings.
I didn't know what the crapthat try to explain.
I need to feel my feelings.
I didn't know what the crapthat meant.
Like, of course I feel myfeelings.
Why do you think I'm yelling atyou and now I want whiskey and
(05:30):
I want to eat another brownie?
Of course I feel my feelings.
And she's like you're trying tooutrun your feelings and so
learning how to just sit withmyself and like let everything
come up and like that meant thatthere were a couple of days
that I like cried a lot.
There were some days that I waslike I cried for 12 minutes and
then I was fine, right, and Ijust I went through just a phase
(05:51):
and it was probably six oreight months where I had to like
, every time it came up thatemotion, I would have to like
pause and step out.
Sometimes I did have to likehold it down for a minute
because I had to finish themeeting I was in, right, and
then I would step out and takelunch and really let all of
those feelings come up, let allof that bubble up and stop
(06:11):
pushing it down anymore.
And as those bubbled up and Ibegan to see where they were
planted, in the lies that I hadbelieved about myself, and so
then I could begin to go like,ok, I believed that I was flaky.
Well, it turned out, no, I wasjust undiagnosed ADHD for most
of my half my life, right.
And then I figured out Iliterally had to write evidence.
Okay, I'm going to be thedefense attorney and I'm going
(06:33):
to prove that I'm flaky.
And now I'm going to be theprosecutor and I'm going to
prove that you're not flaky.
I flipped that, but anyway.
And so anything that like thatwould come up.
(06:57):
I would like go okay, maybe Iam.
That was the biggest strategy,that and it freaks out my
clients when I take them throughthis then I really had to just
be okay, like I could literallygo okay, so what if you're flaky
?
Now what?
Now, what does that mean?
Is that bad?
Is that a problem?
Why is that a problem?
Like, maybe it's not true, I'vegot the evidence.
But then if it is true, whocares, who cares?
(07:20):
And so then that was just sucha deep acceptance of who I
actually am and really like.
Then I had to feel that deep,deep man, that's making my gut
like whoo.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
That's a better joke.
If you cry, you get more airtime.
It's easy.
You touched on somethingimportant there and I say it in
my book a bunch is you know,that might explain it why you're
flaky or whatever else, or ADHD, but it doesn't excuse it.
It just gives you the place tostart from and we use that a lot
, like you know.
It's one of those things where Ithis year, my big tie to cut is
(07:57):
adult ADHD.
So I went and did the forwardformal diagnosis.
I'm starting with justsupplements and then I'm going
to move into whatever's next forthat.
I mean, I have a very specificuse case around what I want to
do with that.
But the point being is I'vemade it an excuse forever of of
it.
But I'm starting to realizethat us ADHDers we can run a
marathon as fast as anyone andyou get cheered the whole way
(08:19):
because you're going so fast andit's amazing, how does he do
that?
Then you see the finish lineand you can in like you hit a
force field and you can'tfreaking get across it and it's
like you know what, screw it.
I'm gonna go run anothermarathon 25 miles because
everyone cheered me there.
No one's cheering me to go tothat last mile and that's how I
feel like it's like oh my god,there's the finish line.
Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Well, and I will say that the idea of what the sorry,
the I'm not good enough, whatit caused me to look like was a
workaholic, and in Americansociety, and especially
entrepreneurship culture, likethat looks good.
(09:02):
There's a whole lot of rewardsLike you're providing for your
family, ooh, you're in me andmarketing agency I'm helping
other people.
There's so many rewards fordoing this thing.
And when you are recognizingthat like the burnout is coming
and there are days where I don'tcare, I know what I need to do
(09:24):
and I cannot get it over theline, and those are when you
really have to have thereckoning and this and you have
to almost disconnect even thepositive rewards that you get
for being a workaholic, aperfectionism, all of those
things, and you have to go likeno, no, no, I'm still going to
love myself and I'm still goingto like accept who I am.
(09:46):
Then when you do, then yourbrain like calms down and goes
oh well, okay, if you're stillgonna like be nice to me,
because I would have clients.
They were like no, no, angela,there's no way love is going to
be the answer.
That's ridiculous.
(10:06):
You're a business person, youhave two degrees in business and
you think love is the answer,and I'm like, I'm telling you
will be so much more motivated,it will be so much deeper and so
much real, because the personthat yells at you the most,
that's the harshest on you, isthat voice in your head, right,
and if you can get it to calmdown, then you are.
It's so much less draining andtherefore you do have more
(10:28):
energy and you can say, okay,well, what would happen if I
step up to that, that finishline?
What if I step over?
What if I walk that last mile?
Right, you still got the lastmile done, right, even if you
didn't race that last mile, ifyou just walked that last mile.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Agreed and that's where I like you know, as an
author, you know 95% of it isprocrastination.
So that's like the process ofwriting, but at least for me.
But as I'm finishing this bookright and it's like I'm'm done,
it was literally with thepublisher.
My wife read it and I'm, andshe's like hey, I, I think you
should do, and I take her inputincredibly seriously because
(11:04):
it's the most honest and it'spolar opposite of me.
And she's like you gotta, yougotta shorten it.
Um, you gotta portray thesethings differently.
People are gonna read this andnot get.
That's not true.
And I was like all right, so Ipulled it back from the
publisher.
I'm like I need to fix thingsand so now I think it's going to
come out of work product.
But now I'm looking, I'm like Iwas at the finish line, I was
about to get author's copy andnow I'm back a mile again.
(11:25):
I'm gonna have to go walk thatlast mile.
But I'm like you know what Ihave to?
Because it wasn't complete, itwasn't.
So I was like, oh, it's hard,because I'm like I want to get
up.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Yeah, well, I've worked with a couple of authors
and one of them I literally saiddo you just want to get this
over the line or do you wantsomebody to tell you what
actually needs to be improved onit?
And you really have to.
You have to know yourself andtrust yourself to be able to
know do I really need to pullthis back, or is this
(11:58):
procrastination?
In that case, what I love, thetip and tool I hope people hear
is that you actually letsomebody else check you, because
if it was your ownprocrastination like I read it
and it's still not right, it'sstill not right.
It's still not right.
Man, that is hard, likesometimes.
That is our procrastination,like perfectionism.
We're going to risk, you know,rejection, all of that.
But I think there's wisdom inthen, surrounding yourself as
(12:20):
somebody you can trust, to say,okay, I, I, you are going to be
more proud of it now that youpulled it back.
You know, and you probablylearned a lot about yourself in
that process.
I would bet of that like no,look, I can pull it back, make
it better, and look, I'm stillgoing to finish.
I think you're probably goingto like trust yourself at such a
(12:40):
deeper level.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
No, no question.
And the whole point of the bookis is this move from fear,
excuse black hole to this morebig bang of vulnerability,
gratefulness, and I'm like I'mnot vulnerable enough in the in
the story, I'm not taking enoughaccountability and and and that
, and I was like I'm portrayingher slightly incorrect where
she's really kind of the driverof a lot of the things that you
know, stuff that I miss.
So the point being isincorporating some of those
(13:03):
ideas in has been so valuable.
Now I did share it to a dozenpeople who gave me some really
good feedback.
The one thing that they said,nicely, that I didn't get to my
wife's like, hey, it's too long.
I didn't occur until I startedrewriting the first half of the
ends because I was like, oh, myGod, I want to be done with this
.
Reading this, it's too much.
I'm like, oh, it's too fuckinglong, yeah, and so I'm like I'm
(13:23):
going to go through and it mightbe a good GPT exercise of I
want to shorten this to 40% ofwhat's there.
Speaker 2 (13:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
What are the most impactful stories I have in here
?
And and just in like, withoutbeing repetitive, and I think
it'll come out way better.
It's like anything else, themore tight your content is.
Anyway, it's the point withyour, with your current, you
just have this conversation, butis that you?
You had this need that you'renot enough and you can.
You got to do more and be more,and it's mixed with ADHD and
(13:54):
this procrastination piece whichis just.
If you don't have this outthere, you can, you can check
out, it's fine If you're an ADHDor you're understanding you
probably are in relationshipwith somebody that has ADD, so
keep listening, because theyprobably hear this.
If you don't have it understandwhat this is, what it is for the
ADHD, or who takes all theinformation in at once and
cannot organize it very well.
Opposite of the other person,the procrastination piece, or
(14:16):
the feeling that you're notenough, is very prevalent, and
it's incredibly maddening forthat person to feel like they
can never, ever get off thathamster wheel themselves.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
I remember I read this book and golly, it's been
15 years ago.
But it was women with ADHD.
And the one of the stories wasabout this woman and she's like
I have I don't know.
It was like a PhD in physics orsomething.
I mean, it was a reallyimpressive this bachelor's,
master's, and then a PhD.
(14:45):
And she was like I stand infront of my closet in tears
because I cannot figure out howto organize my clothes.
So how is it that I can solvethese crazy hard problems?
But things like getting acloset organized will just bring
you to tears.
And I started sobbing and Icall mine and my friends and I'm
just sobbing and she's like areyou okay?
(15:06):
Did you have a car accident?
I don't know why I picked her.
I still to this day do not knowwhy it was her that I called
her.
But I'm like I just didn't evenknow it was.
I say I enjoy every minute of myADHD until I don't realize
there's a bug.
I just think it's just afeature.
You know, like it's a feature,not a.
(15:26):
And then you go, oh, it's a bug.
And then when it, when iterodes our self-confidence and
when it, and when it justexacerbates our self-doubt then.
Then you go okay.
Well, I don't love that part.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
You're, oh my gosh, like we were describing there.
Like I do all our home repairand I get to the end of it and I
see all the mess and thecleanup and I literally want to
cry because I'm like it'soverwhelming and I've gotten
better about.
I'm just going to start withjust this one, five, four.
I'm going to clean.
I have to like every little bit, 1%, and my wife will come down
(15:58):
and organize or we'll bebuilding something that's
organization driven, and I'llstart to challenge her.
I'm like you know what?
No, just tell me what you needto build, don't explain why.
And she's like well, I don't, Idon't care why, cause I already
know it's right.
And I was like just tell mewhat to go do next, right now,
cause that then I can executeand it's unbelievable.
But if I'm left to it, holy cow, it's the most stressful thing
in the world.
Is the my closet?
(16:19):
I would never show someone mycloset.
It's because I it is pure ADHDplayed out in front of me yes, I
have.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
I will tell you, the trick that I have learned is I
will do things.
I have to.
I have to put walls around it.
So by that I mean like I'llhave a box, or I will like I've
cleaned out closets by beingable to go, I'm just going to do
one box, I'm just going to doone box, and then I make sure I
celebrate that one box.
(16:47):
And if I don't have a box, thenwhat I'll do?
I used to put a basket in.
If I was in this room, I wouldput a basket at every door and
anything that didn't go in thisroom I just put it in that
basket.
That way I couldn't walk toanother room and I would just
put it.
And then I was like, okay, well, at least this room, everything
that is in this room, belongsin this room.
And then a different day I willwork on that basket.
(17:09):
And there's people that have tofinish.
They have this insatiable needto finish, which I don't even
understand how your brain works.
I wish it did.
But they're like how could youeven start if you don't know
that you can finish?
And I'm like I don't know, thisis what worked.
And I, for a while I would havelike well, you won't see me, I
will not show the rest of mycamera because I have boxes of
like I need to get to that box.
(17:29):
I don't have really a place forthat box.
Now my husband, I both haveADHD and so well, and I just saw
this morning something thatsaid we are attention deficit
different.
We don't have a disorder, whichI have always thought, and I
don't.
Even people are like how do youpeople even function?
I'm like pretty great actually.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Yeah, we just I don't like the word disorder, because
the world was set up by peoplewho didn't have it, because they
were organized enough to do it.
I'll leave you with this.
The video cameras for any ADHDyears are like the beach.
So we go like the Caribbeanbeach you look out, it's
gorgeous.
You look back and it looks liketerrible, like there's shanties
, and that's that's the ADHDcamera view.
And then I won't move mineeither, cause it could be better
(18:09):
.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
All right, tell me about some grace, grace for me,
grace for the people around me.
I have friends or clientsthat'll that'll like call me and
talk about their husband like,oh I go.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Oh my gosh, it sucks that you have to be married to a
human right and and the factthat they called you well, just
as an adhd or we do not like thephone.
We don't want to be on thatphone.
Speaker 2 (18:38):
I'm not that way, oh and.
I don't have that, that's.
The other thing is that ADHD isnot just one citizen Like.
There is like a whole range,and I think we'll eventually
figure out that everybody is onthe spectrum at some level.
And so it's just like becauseeven people that claim to not
have any kind of ADHD oranything, they can be like OCD
and like, oh, I have to have mydesk perfectly clean, we all got
(19:00):
something, anyway, all that, soI have grace for myself, I have
grace for the people around me.
When my daughter came to me andsaid was telling a story about
figuring out at work that shefelt like she wasn't lovable if
she wasn't perfect, and she gotpressed on this and, like mom, I
think it's because you need tobe perfect, pressed on this, and
(19:23):
, like mom, I think it's becauseyou need to be perfect.
And I could, in my ownsettledness, say to her yes,
that's true, and I've apologizedand I'll apologize again and
I'll walk with you through this,because I didn't have to make
it about me, because I alreadyhad grace for myself, because
younger me didn't know what thecrap she was doing, like she was
doing the best she could.
And now my daughter, I couldwalk with it, with her, and I
(19:43):
could.
I could demonstrate this toother people and I can teach
them how to have grace by havinggrace for myself.
Do I get it right every singleday?
No, no, no, no, I still, and Inoticed that when I'm around
other people that are fightingthat this is my newest thing
I've realized is that peoplethat haven't gone through the
healing and they're still drivenby that need.
I'm easily triggered by themand I like fall into their trap
(20:06):
for a minute and then I go, ohwait a minute, hang on a minute,
let's stop that.
So I'm still on the journey.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
It's amazing.
What advice would you give tothe listener?
Speaker 2 (20:24):
stop and get to know yourself, like I think we are.
You know, my book has a littleblurb on it that says the guide
for people who were told quitcrying or I'll give you
something to cry about.
I think there's a wholepopulation of people that were
raised with that and then we allraised those kids.
So there's a whole lot of oursociety that thinks that's a
thing and it's not a thing.
I think if you're the oppositeand you're like a toxic
positivity person, like no, no,just it's mindset, it's all that
(20:44):
mindset, you have to firstacknowledge that sometimes
things do suck and so it's okayto say man, this sucks.
Man, this is hard.
I'm gonna be sad for a minuteor an hour or a day if you need
to, but just like be okay with,like getting to know yourself,
allowing yourself to have somefeelings, and then have a lot of
grace and compassion.
(21:05):
Man, you're still up on thisworld.
We're not visiting you in thecemetery, so you still got time.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Right, that's a good point.
All right, so rapid fire here.
Who gives you inspiration?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
My children, my grandchildren.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
They are Almost the children, better than
grandchildren.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
Well, it's funny because there are so many things
like with my children that Iwanted them to be perfect
because I made it me about meright.
And so with my grandchildren Iactually go like, oh, like I'm
not going to let my like it'smind blowing to me.
(21:46):
I can remember needing mytwo-year-old daughter to be
perfect because that meantsomething about me, and that is
laughable when I look at mytwo-year-old grandson.
And so they do inspire mebecause I think and I've had a
couple of people that have usedthis and I say, if I wouldn't
say it to Peter and Henry, I'mnot going to say it to myself so
(22:06):
they do inspire me in that howI treat them is more.
I've learned to treat myselfgentle, and I think when you're
raising kids, you're still onyour journey.
You make it all about you,which we need to stop.
You're a first time parent, likethey're a first-time child, so
the best business advice you'veever gotten- man I would love to
(22:28):
say it's hire fast or hire slow, fire fast, and that is good
advice, and I'm not very good attaking it.
I take it super duper seriously.
I would say that the bestadvice is to, if you're going to
be in business, do what you canto reduce the amount of monthly
spend that you need.
(22:48):
So really curb your lifestyleand make sure you're not running
out of debt, because I've hadto make bad decisions on
business because I had a carpayment and a credit card
payment and all these things andI had to take the client and so
getting out of debt and livinga lifestyle that makes sense.
That said, anybody that knowsme knows I travel like a crazy
(23:11):
person, so I also believe inmultiple streams of income.
I'm not just putting all myeggs in one basket, so one
stream of income pays for all myplay.
So, yeah, I guess that's two.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Like that Reduce the debt and then create one stream
and then another.
So if anyone goes down, you gotsavings and I love that.
What's that must read book?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Interesting.
I have always said Think andGrow rich.
And then about two years ago Iread it with a group of female
life coaches and I didn'trealize how misogynistic it was.
So I still think it's got a lotof great wisdom.
So I will say Traveling Light,free Yourself from the Crap in
(23:57):
your Head.
By Angela Delbert.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
So, listen, it's shame versus emotion.
This is the one time you canmake it all about you.
That's fine, I'm okay with it.
Yeah, I think through this bookand here's why if there was a
time in your life you could goback to and you can change, when
would you do that and whatwould you change or do?
Speaker 2 (24:16):
It would only be the times that I was a jerk to
people so like I.
There's a story that comes upand I share it in my book about
how there was a very trustedmember of my staff, and this is
when I I've wandered off acouple of times and ran other
(24:36):
companies while somebody elseran my company times and ran
other companies while somebodyelse ran my company, and so I
was running a different companyand there was somebody that was
trusted and I was disrespectfulto them in front of everybody
and luckily one of their teammembers called me out on it and
I was able to apologize to themin person.
But I think in my drive to I'mnot enough.
I treated people badly and soanything it would be, it would
(25:00):
be like I would go back and justfix how I treated them.
And yet also, as soon as I saythat, my brain's like yeah, but
you wouldn't have gotten todemonstrate that incredible
vulnerable leadership and Iearned so many more points by
having to stand there and likein tears, go like I can't
believe I did this and I'm verysorry and I've apologized for it
privately, and now I'mapologizing, so maybe I wouldn't
(25:22):
change anything, maybe I'm allpart of the journey.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
Things happen for you , not to you, right, that's
right.
If there was a question Ishould have asked you today and
I didn't, what would thatquestion have been and how would
you answer it?
Speaker 2 (25:37):
So I'll do it like this.
I ask this question a lot is, Isay what is something that
you're grateful to 18 year oldyou?
What decision they made orsomething they did?
And I'm very happy with thechoice I made in Life Partner
and the choice to invest in myeducation, even though it didn't
make a lot of sense.
I'm very happy with 18 year oldme for that.
(25:58):
And my follow up to that islet's think about 10 years from
now, that version of you.
What are they grateful for?
And I promise they're going tobe grateful for the how
seriously I take my health.
Like I, I make regular likeadjustments to supplements and
exercise and and.
And exercise to me is not goingto the gym, so it's walking,
(26:20):
it's biking, it's biking, it'sfinding ways to be active.
And next I want to find ways to.
Weightlifting is supposed to bea thing with women over 40 and
I hate it so much.
So I'm trying to find a way.
But that's what 60 year old mewill be.
I'm thankful that I really tookmy health seriously.
Speaker 1 (26:37):
Awesome.
Thank you so much for joiningtoday.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
Absolutely.
How do people get ahold of youand who should get a hold of you
?
I love, love, love working withsecond generation business
owners as an executive coach.
It is so much fun for me andI'm everywhere at Angela Belford
, so AngelaBelfordcom and allthe socials you can always find
(26:59):
me.
I have a very fun podcastcalled Be Freaking Awesome that
I co-host with my daughter,sammy, so there are some really
fun, really vulnerable.
We do messy middle a lot, soit's not polished and pretty
always.
It's sometimes we're in themiddle of learning and growing.
So but Angela Belford, all theplaces- Awesome, thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
I Awesome Thank you.
I appreciate you.
Speaker 2 (27:23):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
And for anyone still listening I appreciate you
Listen, get out there, go followthe podcast on Apple and
Spotify and go out there and cuta tie to something holding you
back and unleash the bestversion of yourself.
Thanks,
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