Episode 232 - Confidence and Arrogance - The Fine Line Every Dad Should Know
A simple way to put it for dads: confidence is “I’m valuable and capable,” while arrogance is “I’m more valuable and more capable than you.” Kids, partners, and coworkers feel safe around confidence and small around arrogance.
Clear definitions for dads
- Confidence: A grounded belief in your abilities, with a realistic sense of strengths and weaknesses, and a willingness to learn and ask for help.
- Arrogance: An inflated sense of importance, exaggerating your abilities, needing to be right, and putting others down to feel strong.
How it feels to your family
- Confident dad: Listens to his kids and partner, makes decisions, owns mistakes, and still shows respect and warmth, so the home feels safe and collaborative.
- Arrogant dad: Dismisses opinions, talks over others, blames, or mocks “weakness,” so the home feels tense and people stop being honest with him.
Quick self-check questions
Ask before you speak or act:
- “Am I trying to serve or to prove something?” Confidence serves; arrogance proves.
- “Do I still respect this person if they disagree with me or see my flaws?” Confidence can handle disagreement and imperfection; arrogance can’t.
Everyday dad examples
- With kids: Confident dad says, “I know how to handle this, but I also want to hear how you see it.” Arrogant dad says or implies, “Because I’m the dad, I’m automatically right, end of story.”
- With partner: Confident dad holds a strong opinion and listens, adjusts when shown he’s wrong. Arrogant dad doubles down, keeps score, or refuses to apologize.
- At work: Confident dad celebrates the team and takes responsibility when things go wrong. Arrogant dad takes all the credit and shifts blame when things fail.
How to grow confident, not arrogant
- Ground your identity: Remind yourself your worth isn’t based on your last win or loss as a dad, husband, or employee; it’s deeper than performance.
- Practice humility: Admit “I don’t know” and “I was wrong” regularly; this builds trust and actually strengthens how capable you look to your kids and partner.
- Use strength to lift: Any time you feel strong—physically, financially, or intellectually—ask, “How can I use this to support, not to dominate, my family?”
“Strength with humility is confidence; strength without humility becomes arrogance,” then walk through these family, marriage, and work examples with honest stories and practical self-check questions
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music provided by Blue Dot Sessions
Song: The Big Ten https://app.sessions.blue/browse/track/258270
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