December 5, 2023 • 29 mins
DAYnamics Show - The Discussion - Embracing the Power of Connecting with Your Emotions (with guest)
If you don't yet have a relationship with your emotions, you may want to start! Unsure of how to handle them? You're not alone. Join us, Mariana and Makoda, as we uncover the profound impact of emotions on our lives and the repercussions when we're not educated about them early on. We dig deep into understanding and addressing our emotions, sculpted by our upbringing and our role models. Using the Abraham Hicks' emotional scale, we provide insight on enhancing our understanding and handling of emotions. We believe that understanding and having a healthy relationship with our emotions are crucial in leading a fulfilled life.
Referenced links:
Harmonizing With Your Emotions Podcast
Blog on Emotion
Abraham Hicks: https://www.abraham-hicks.com/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everyone.
I'm Mariana, creator of the DayEnamics Show and your guide, to
remind you to align with yourown well-being every day.
I have the pleasure of beingjoined by Makota.
Welcome, nice to be here.
Yes, and today we present thediscussion and the title of the
(00:25):
show.
We don't know exactly, butit'll unfold as we're talking.
But the subject matter is aboutthe way in which, if we don't
learn about our emotions aswe're younger, how it really
does affect you throughout yourwhole life.
(00:45):
That's sort of what it's goingto look like, but you'll see
once it's posted what weactually have it named and again
, that will just help peopleunderstand the importance of,
especially if you are young, toask about the emotions, if
(01:05):
you're listening, and if you'reolder and you're not in tune
with your emotions, then thiswill help you get in tune with
your emotions and the importanceof, as someone that takes care
of kids, to really be able toeducate them on what emotions
and you can see by the emotionalpatterns that play out in
(01:28):
adulthood what when peoplehaven't really explored their
emotions, what do you think,makota?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yes, I think that being able to understand your
emotions is obviously verycomplex, and everyone is able to
fully, but I think that it doesstem all the way back to
childhood, to how you're raised,to how your parents were taught
about their emotions, and it'sa cycle that it can be hard to
understand and break out of ifyou're not sure that you're even
not expressing your emotionsproperly, since I think a lot of
(02:01):
people, when they do expresstheir emotions, they again take
examples from their familymembers or their friends or
their people they look up to,and it isn't until adulthood or
when they're older that theyrealize that maybe that's not
the correct way to show theiremotions, if they're showing
them at all.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So yeah, and we'll get to the correct.
Remember that word correct.
Thank you for sharing that.
First I want to ask as well areaudience listening, have they
ever experienced and think ofwhether it was you as a younger
person and seeing it from yourparents, or those people that
(02:39):
were caretakers, taking care ofyou, or a teacher or whatever it
might be, or coach or whatever?
Just have those differentemotions and we by all means are
not saying emotions, don't havethem, because you're going to
have them, so you might as wellunderstand, while you're having
(02:59):
them, how to address them.
So if you can remember like asituation where either you felt
like, oh, that was a way thatsomeone really handled their
emotions well and given asituation, and or they didn't
address it very well and how didthat feel?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yes, and I hope that our viewers can really dive deep
into their past and even theirfuture to see who has impacted
their emotions and what isimpacting them currently.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yes, so let's go into that correct word that you were
talking about.
Now, is there a correct way todeal with your emotions?
Like?
My first thoughts on that wouldbe you're going to have
feelings come up.
So one thing I just want torefer to if those that haven't
(03:50):
or may not be familiar with allof our resources is that there
is another recording, as well asa blog, and it's called the
emotional scale, and I know,makoti, you even used it, yes,
you even.
We've actually printed it outand I had one.
It's just not my podcast boothright now, but it's just helping
you because it is someone thatI feel has the clearest version
(04:18):
of your different emotions andthat's the Abraham Hicks, which
you can refer to them atAbrahamHickscom, that they
actually show you a scale.
So you know they go fromanything from being depressed
way up to absolute love and joyand elation, and there's, I
don't know, maybe 20 some ofthem.
That really helps you.
(04:38):
So I would just tell you, if youhaven't seen that, go to the
blog that shares a little bitmore, or go to again
AbrahamHickscom and search foremotional scale or even online
anywhere, because it's there andthose that learn visually.
You'll actually see that andcan print it out, and then those
(05:01):
that learn in different ways.
You can get your informationnecessary.
So what do you feel about theword correct when it comes to
dealing with emotions?
Speaker 2 (05:12):
That's a really good question because I mean, even
though I used it earlier, Idon't know if you know there's
going to be a correct way foreveryone.
But when I envision the idea ofcorrect emotions, it's just
being aware of your emotions andhow you react to situations
where you feel that certainemotion, how you can negate
certain emotions if you don'twant to experience them, and
just knowing how you and yourbody and your mind all use
(05:37):
emotions.
Pretty much, I think that a lotof people maybe don't know when
they're feeling a certainemotion, or they realize after
the fact that they had thatemotion.
So I think that the correct wayto deal with your emotions or
to know about your emotions is,again, just to be aware of them
and to know that you'reexperiencing them, and not to
hide them or to try to subsidethem and deal with them in the
(05:57):
moment.
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Like that's a good point.
We always say it's aninterpersonal journey and I
think your relationship withyour emotions are just as
important.
Maybe that's what one of thetitles might be your
relationship with your emotions.
And if you have one or not,some just go from, they're
(06:21):
triggered by something and thenthey just go to mad or angry or
whatever that scale is, becausethey haven't dealt with the
uncomfortable and the unknown.
And I remember doing a podcastand it was the known to the
(06:42):
unknown to the known, and thatworks a lot with emotions.
So again, I dynamic show thatinfo that this will be posted on
as well as YouTube it will haveit where we talk a little bit
more about that space in between.
That is the most uncomfortable.
It's just like if you're in,say, an emotion that doesn't
(07:05):
feel well, like how does thataffect your body?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It affects it.
You know very different ways,obviously, and I think being
able to be again aware of thoseemotions might make it less of
an effect.
But I think for a lot of peopleespecially you think about
children or even babies you knowwhen they're crying, when
they're upset.
They don't even understandthose emotions or what's
happening to them, so their onlyreaction is to cry and to know
to get attention, to seek, Iguess, comfort.
(07:31):
And so I think that sometimes,even though we grow older, we
still have those same reactions,sometimes that we don't
understand an emotion, we don'tknow how to feel about it, so we
go to the extremes of crying orto get angry or to shut it out.
So it can be really hard onyour body when you don't really
know how to process an emotion,because you can go into crying
(07:51):
or you know beating yourself upabout it or something more
negative, when you just can'trealize that you're having an
emotion.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Right.
I mean that's a good point too,because when I thought about
that is when you're having theseemotions and you're in it and
it feels uncomfortable anddoesn't feel good like, the
first thing you want is somerelief.
Yeah, that's what the emotionalscale talks about too, is just
how you try to go up theemotional scale, because as you
go up, the emotions feel betterand if you can, you can go up it
(08:21):
quite fast if you're aware andconscious of what you're doing.
You know like, and even whatyou know.
Do you know the difference,really, between being emotional
angry and being outright mad?
Is that the same thing, like?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
being able to do those little distinctions
between the motions and, likeyou said, it's going to be
working up towards.
You know, if you're veryhateful and you're, you know,
screaming at someone, you can'tjust immediately go to being
happy, you know, like it.
I mean maybe if you really knowyour emotions well, but it
shouldn't be that it's anunachievable thing to go up the
scale.
You know it should be that.
(09:00):
Okay, well, I'm really angry,I'm screaming, I'm going to
slowly go into disliking thisperson, the situation.
Then you're going to slowly goup and knowing how to get up
there is really important.
So that could be, you know, athing that you say to yourself
or an activity that you do thatcalms you down, or just getting
away from the situation.
And I think that it's importantthat again, you're able to
realize when you're having thosethoughts and emotions.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Absolutely, I agree, and remembering that it's an
inner journey, it's easy toblame another for what you made
me feel like this.
Okay, well, maybe someonetriggered you or maybe it
brought up something like an oldmemory and old habit, old
(09:43):
pattern and old belief and old,whatever it might be.
And as an adult, like I said,if you're not dealing with it
when you're younger and asyou're a teenager and a young
adult, and go into that andreally understanding that
emotions are not something thatwe should be afraid of, they're
actually something that we needto have a relationship with.
(10:03):
Yes, so when you have thatremember it's just like another
person is just being that mirror.
You know it really.
They can't think your thoughtslike.
No one can think someone else'sthoughts.
No one can feel someone else'sfeelings.
In that moment, they can relateto them, they can have a sense
(10:26):
of like when someone says likeI'm angry, and they're like okay
, I understand, I know whatangry means, so I'll give you
some space or whatever.
But it's really about opencommunication too, especially if
you're dealing with a partnerand if you're not and you're
just by yourself, it's, andmaybe it's a school thing, or
maybe it's a coach thing, ormaybe it's a teacher thing,
(10:47):
maybe it's a parent thing, maybeit's a friend thing or or
relationship in some wayromantic, having that ability to
just like, be very consciousand be like, mature around it.
Right, like I wish, and I knowit someday not wish, but right
(11:08):
now it's a wish, but I know itsomeday they will bring
something more into schools thatwill tell and show people.
I mean, that's what the kiddynamics program that worked on.
One of the themes is emotionsand I think that it's just
really important for well, startwith kids, but even adults and,
(11:32):
you know, even seniors, way upto the end, you know they have
this inability maybe sometimesto really understand, and after
you've the older you get an agewise, sometimes, the more
patterns you're in of habit,more of a challenge to change or
you just don't want to.
Yes, because everyone has achoice to change anything at any
(11:55):
time.
But it's just like whether dothey want to put in that work
because it's again that knownversus unknown to that known
place again and that space inbetween.
That's very uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yes, and I think a lot of people when they get
older to that.
They feel that the way thatthey react to things or the way
that they handle things as partof their personality and who
they are, and so it becomesreally hard for them to take
away that part of themselves.
If they feel like, oh well, ifI, if I always get angry when I
see the color purple or pink orsomething, or green, whatever
that they feel like, if theystop having that reaction, that
(12:28):
emotion towards it, that that'slosing a part of themselves or
part of who they are as of theiridentity.
So I think, especially evenwhen it comes to when you're in
high school or even middleschool, that some kids, when
they start to develop theirpersonality, the habits that
they have with their emotionshave a big impact on that as
well.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, and you notice the different stages in life.
I guess it's it goes back toknowing yourself a little bit
more and being more aware, butit also has to do with those
different stages in life and allthe hormones and stuff that are
going through you.
So it's like teach aboutemotions and and how to deal
(13:08):
with them in all the stages ofyour life.
But if you're, if you'reteaching the kids and then they
keep learning that along the way, and I think, as, like I said,
those that you know take care ofthe well being of kids, whether
, again, that's a parent or acoach or a teacher or a family
member or someone thatinfluences them, it would be
(13:28):
really good to be aware of thatalong the way and help them,
because you know, if you can'tname it and you're just doing a
habit or you're just taught,this is what you do when this
happens.
That could be a generationalthing.
Yes, for so many, so, so many.
So let's give an example.
Makota, what do you think that,when it comes to emotions, one
(13:59):
way that you've dealt with itwell and one way way that you
feel like you may have to workon it a little bit more?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Ooh, that's a tough question.
He has to be there.
I think I shared an examplewith you a few days ago where I
was playing with some friendsScrabble pretty much for playing
Scrabble and they accidentallyskipped my turn because they
didn't realize they could passit.
And I was like I Was not doingthat good that game.
So I was really hoping thatthat turn was really gonna
change the point scores and Iwas getting a little too
(14:31):
competitive there and I got madat both of them and said like oh
, you should have known.
Like you know, I've played withthis person before.
They know that you can do that.
Like why didn't they tell you?
And I realized like I'm gettingupset over a Video game, that
I'm playing with two of myfavorite people and I'm getting
mad at them for something thatdoesn't even matter, like if I
lose that game, it doesn't makea difference.
(14:52):
And so I realized that I wasmaybe just had to get that
emotion out, but I didn't do itin the right way at all.
I could have been like hey,that kind of made me upset.
Like next time just make surewe can pass my turn, and then it
would have went a lot betterthan to be it, get up getting
upset at them.
But, uh, thankfully I knew thatI was experiencing a bad
emotion and so, rather than, youknow, ending the call and
(15:14):
leaving and not talking to themfor the rest of the day Because
I wanted to like pout and be sad, I said, hey, I that wasn't
cool with me to do.
I want to apologize.
And they're both like it's fine, it's whatever.
So they didn't take itseriously.
But to me, I needed to makesure that I knew that they, they
knew that I was okay with it.
They're like that.
I understood that I didsomething wrong.
So, even if it wasn't aboutthem apologizing or getting an
(15:37):
apology out of them or anysatisfaction of their end, it's
just that I knew that I had tobe Okay with that fact, that I
knew I did something wrong andthat I was apologizing and
Recurrecting.
And it wasn't changing mypersonality or changing anything
about myself, it was justknowing that, hey, I did
something wrong and beingaccountable for that and I think
(15:57):
a.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
And I'm gonna stop you as we go on to the next one,
because I think that's a greatexample.
I do want to bring up somethingthat you said several times in
that explanation.
You said you feel like you weredoing something wrong.
Yeah, and that is veryinteresting because people often
relate through my years ofteaching, in my years in this
(16:20):
physical life here, people oftenthink that the emotions that
come up are wrong.
So it might not have been thatyou felt like your emotion was
wrong.
Maybe is you didn't feel likeyou handled your emotions well
in that situation.
So because I never want to I Imean just my opinion, of course
(16:40):
and this is a discussion is Inever want people in our
audience To feel like theiremotions are wrong, like the
emotions that come up are wrong,because that's obviously
something in you and it'sbrought something up for you to
heal.
It's what you do with it, right.
So it's not like anything'sright or wrong, it just is.
(17:03):
But how do you feel about whatit was?
You know, like, because, like,I don't want our listeners to
think, okay, well, it was wrong,just to have that.
You know, definitely motion it,but it's the way you're
explained.
That I just want to clarify,because it was like Was it that
you felt your emotion was wrongor you felt like how you Related
(17:26):
and dealt with the situationwas maybe better, a better
choice could have been done?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yes, I think I'm really happy that you clarified
it on that.
And so it wasn't that I feltthat the emotion of me being
angry was wrong, because you canbe angry about something and
you know, in my mind at thatpoint I had every right to be
angry about that situation, butthe way that I handled it was
wrong in my eyes, you know.
I know that that's not the rightway to handle anger and that
(17:53):
wasn't gonna solve anything ormake the situation better by me
Blowing up at my friends andmaking the situation
uncomfortable.
Now.
So the fact that I had anger,totally fine, you know, that's
an emotion that's gonna come upand there's obviously a reason
that that came up for me.
But the way that I handled itin my eyes and the way that I
want to Use that emotion waswrong.
(18:14):
You know, I should haverealized hey, I'm not feeling
this way, let me step away, letme Do something that I know will
, let me deescalate thesituation a bit before I would
yell at my friends.
And so it's definitely justthat the emotion is not wrong
because it's a part of me.
It's just the way that I knewthat I could handle it and I did
not do that properly in thatsituation?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
So, well, I mean, that's good to be aware of that.
And do you know, before we goon to the other example, is that
sometimes, instead of laughingabout stuff, that we take it so
personal?
Yes, yeah, I mean, that's justa trait that I have in my family
, generationally.
(18:53):
I've showed you that example oftaking things personal.
Like, how dare you skip my turnin your example, you know.
But the fact that we take itpersonally, instead of just
going, okay, guys, or you know,okay, whoever's on, you know
like, hey, you know you skippedby me, okay, turn it around,
that's good, and making fun ofit, that it just obviously that
(19:17):
energy must have been prevalentin your you know your energetic
field for that to bother you.
What do you feel about?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
sometimes we take things personal, you know,
because it is bringing up stuffor triggering something, or
something that we've used tohaving or believing, or yeah, I
think it wasn't for sure, that Ijust wasn't aware of the
emotions that I was experiencingand that I was getting really
competitive and like maybe two,into a Scrabble game, which
(19:49):
sounds kind of silly, you know,if you ever played a game or
anything like that.
But it's just, yeah, I didn'trealize that I was feeling those
emotions until it was just pastthe point and that I was taking
it way too seriously, becausewhat's the worst that's gonna
happen if they skip my turn.
Okay, then I just take twoturns next time, or, you know,
they don't take their turn nexttime.
(20:10):
So it's like it's not.
It's not a situation where Ishould have been overreacting
and kind of like taking it superpersonally, like they had done
it maliciously and you know theyhad planned and planned it
together to skip my turn.
It's like, no, it was honestmistake, it wasn't anything that
they were doing.
You're planning against you.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, so it's like the third turn around.
Do not give her a third turn.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, so it's like it's not worth it to have those
emotions towards people that Icare about, and thankfully they
were understanding and theyweren't like oh yeah, of course
you would act like that.
You know it's not somethingthat it's a usual trait.
Yes, yeah, it's not a usualthing that I would just get mad
at them so they weren't takingit super like personally,
they're just like oh, obviouslythat was not something we should
have done.
My apologies are other than itbeing like oh, you're always
(20:53):
like this and making it a biggersituation, so it was out of
character for me and thankfully,they acted in character by
apologizing and saying it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And having supportive , cool friends around you that
get emotions and then are sortof more balanced.
This is not about having anunbalanced, it's more about
having a balanced life where youknow that you're gonna go up
and down that emotional scalesometimes, but that it's okay,
(21:24):
and then just knowing what to dowith it and having those cool
friends, like you do around youto let you have that space and
therefore process it in themoment, which is good Cause,
like I said, you could have wentI'm out of here, yeah, whatever
and go into all of those.
What is it?
(21:47):
For me and sad and angry, andyou know like, because you can.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yes, and I think definitely, as I've gotten older
, I've gotten better at notdoing that Cause whenever I
would feel those emotions, Idefinitely would go into that
space of like oh, I should bethe one that's getting
apologized to and I'm the onethat's got wronged by this
skipping of my turn and all that.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
So yeah, and thank you for sharing that cause.
That was a personal experience,but that's what this you know,
the podcast or about sometimesis just these personal
experiences that help otherpeople right.
So what about a good way thatyou addressed your emotions,
Like like an example?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
The one that I thought of is probably what I
was doing my teaching practicewith the great tours, like I was
grade one.
I think I was grade one and forme I don't like a lot of noise
and like if there's a noisy roomsometimes I just get
overwhelmed and like I have tostep away.
And so I was able to kind ofcounteract that a little bit by
(22:51):
knowing ahead of time that I wasgoing to feel that way with how
many students were in the classand there was like 25 and they
were, all you know, all over theplace.
And so I was able to say, hey,I told my host teacher.
I was like I'm going to wearsome earplugs sometimes I can
still hear the students.
I just need to make sure that Idon't get overwhelmed and then
have a bad day because of that.
And she was very understandingand I was able to kind of talk
(23:13):
to her on that level, where itwasn't a thing of like, oh, your
students are too loud, you needto control them, like I wasn't
getting mad at her for how kidsare going to reaction, act, but
being able to understand thathey, I know how I'm going to act
with the situation and tocounteract that by wearing
contacts, by wearing earplugs,and to then be able to have very
(23:36):
amazing days with those kidsevery single day.
And after the first times ofwhat's in your ears, why are
they orange?
We were able to have great daysbecause I wasn't letting them
do that.
I was not letting the noise andletting my own emotions around
that get in the way of justspending time with those kids
and helping them learn.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
So that's awesome, that's good, just knowing the
difference, right.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yes, the difference of I could have let my feelings
about the noise get to me, butthe fact that I knew that there
was a solution that I couldeasily do that would counteract
all of that, and that I was ableto kind of mitigate my own
emotions a little bit with thatreally helped, I think.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Right, and let's just make note, she wasn't the main
teacher, it was a teacherpracticum, so, just so, not your
regular teacher would always bewearing earplugs.
It was helping and it was asituation where you were in
there helping a teacher and youmade the best of the situation.
Yes, yeah, for sure, andespecially if you're not used to
(24:40):
a situation either.
Right, so to end up, because wewant to keep this under 30
minutes, but once we starttalking about stuff, things is
so slow.
So what would you say as a takehome tool for someone that
wants to have a betterunderstanding of how they can
(25:01):
relate to their emotions?
Now, one thing that I would sayis you know, you can use
whatever resource you want, butuse the resource of that
emotional scale.
Look it up, print it out, saveit, whatever you want to do, and
just have the awareness,because once you're conscious
and once you're aware ofsomething, it's, then it's in
(25:24):
your awareness that when thatopportunity comes up again, you
can go.
I have a moment right here thatI can choose my old behavior or
a new one, and so you have thatpower in every moment to change
.
But you don't know what tochange to unless you know that
there's a different choice topick.
Yes, well, it's just a habit Ihave, and, and this is.
(25:48):
But if you know that there'ssomething better to choose, then
your habit can be a morehealthy habit.
So what about a take home toolthat you would like to share
with our audience?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I think that the biggest thing that I could say
for anyone of any age,especially if you kind of gotten
set in your ways and you feellike your emotions are how they
should be or how they've alwaysbeen I think the best way to, if
you want to hopefully changethe way that you act and to be
more positive and likeresponsive with your emotions,
is to look through all youremotions so as many as you think
(26:24):
that you've experiencedthroughout your life, or the
ones that you experienced themost, maybe the ones that you're
the most ashamed of having orsomething and how you react with
those emotions.
So when you're angry, how doyou react?
I think of situations whereyou've been angry and it has it
been consistent.
Have you always yelled atsomeone?
Have you always ran away andthen realizing is that how I
actually want to act with thoseemotions?
Even being happy, maybe youdon't act as happy as you want
(26:47):
to, or you aren't able toexpress your happiness in the
way that you want, and so youshould look back on your life as
much as possible, write it downif you have to, and feel like
OK, do I really want to havethis be my reaction for these
emotions.
Is this something that I'mhappy with?
Is this something that ishelping my relationships out?
Is it something that I am proudof showing?
(27:08):
And if that's no, thenhopefully you can kind of
realize, well, what do I wantinstead and hopefully slowly
work on it to get to that betterreaction.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Yeah, I think that's a great point, and thanks for
sharing that take home tool,because what came up when you
were talking is, once you makechoices like that, we all know
about the law of attraction.
So just be prepared, because alot of attraction will give you
an opportunity to Ensure thatthat is truly what you want to
(27:40):
do.
It'll bring a situation to youbecause they're like, oh, you
want to deal with thisdifferently?
Ok, well, I'll just bring asituation that gives you the
opportunity to make a new choice.
So, when you're doing consciouswork, that is a that's a thing.
And, again, if those peoplearen't aware of law of
attraction, just look it up aswell, because that is a great
(28:01):
resource to know how truly a lotof attraction works.
So we're getting up to thatpoint.
So I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you, makota,
for joining us.
It's a great podcast, yeah, andI'm sure that we might do
another one on this, becausethere's so many examples for so
many different ages as to how wecan get, how the relationship
(28:23):
with our emotions will work andshould work and should be one of
the greatest relationships thatwe have when it comes to what
we have.
Relationship with is is it'ssort of the one that's set aside
versus the one that, oh, maybethere's so many feelings, maybe
I should just get a handle onthe handle on them.
(28:44):
That's right.
So we again.
Thank you, makota.
Yes, thank you, thank you.
So we have lots of great showscoming up and lots of great past
recordings.
So go see what serves you byvisiting daynamicshowinfo and
explore our other greatresources and products.
(29:04):
And I do need to add that allmaterials are cooperated in our
for informational purposes.
So until we meet again, thankyou, thank you, thank you for
listening and make it a dynamicday.
Make it a dynamic day.
Hello everyone.
I'm Mariana, creator of the DayEnamics Show and your guide, to
remind you to align with yourown well-being every day.
I have the pleasure of beingjoined by Makota.
Welcome, nice to be here.
Yes, and today we present thediscussion and the title of the
(00:25):
show.
We don't know exactly, butit'll unfold as we're talking.
But the subject matter is aboutthe way in which, if we don't
learn about our emotions aswe're younger, how it really
does affect you throughout yourwhole life.
(00:45):
That's sort of what it's goingto look like, but you'll see
once it's posted what weactually have it named and again
, that will just help peopleunderstand the importance of,
especially if you are young, toask about the emotions, if
(01:05):
you're listening, and if you'reolder and you're not in tune
with your emotions, then thiswill help you get in tune with
your emotions and the importanceof, as someone that takes care
of kids, to really be able toeducate them on what emotions
and you can see by the emotionalpatterns that play out in
(01:28):
adulthood what when peoplehaven't really explored their
emotions, what do you think,makota?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yes, I think that being able to understand your
emotions is obviously verycomplex, and everyone is able to
fully, but I think that it doesstem all the way back to
childhood, to how you're raised,to how your parents were taught
about their emotions, and it'sa cycle that it can be hard to
understand and break out of ifyou're not sure that you're even
not expressing your emotionsproperly, since I think a lot of
(02:01):
people, when they do expresstheir emotions, they again take
examples from their familymembers or their friends or
their people they look up to,and it isn't until adulthood or
when they're older that theyrealize that maybe that's not
the correct way to show theiremotions, if they're showing
them at all.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
So yeah, and we'll get to the correct.
Remember that word correct.
Thank you for sharing that.
First I want to ask as well areaudience listening, have they
ever experienced and think ofwhether it was you as a younger
person and seeing it from yourparents, or those people that
(02:39):
were caretakers, taking care ofyou, or a teacher or whatever it
might be, or coach or whatever?
Just have those differentemotions and we by all means are
not saying emotions, don't havethem, because you're going to
have them, so you might as wellunderstand, while you're having
(02:59):
them, how to address them.
So if you can remember like asituation where either you felt
like, oh, that was a way thatsomeone really handled their
emotions well and given asituation, and or they didn't
address it very well and how didthat feel?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
Yes, and I hope that our viewers can really dive deep
into their past and even theirfuture to see who has impacted
their emotions and what isimpacting them currently.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Yes, so let's go into that correct word that you were
talking about.
Now, is there a correct way todeal with your emotions?
Like?
My first thoughts on that wouldbe you're going to have
feelings come up.
So one thing I just want torefer to if those that haven't
(03:50):
or may not be familiar with allof our resources is that there
is another recording, as well asa blog, and it's called the
emotional scale, and I know,makoti, you even used it, yes,
you even.
We've actually printed it outand I had one.
It's just not my podcast boothright now, but it's just helping
you because it is someone thatI feel has the clearest version
(04:18):
of your different emotions andthat's the Abraham Hicks, which
you can refer to them atAbrahamHickscom, that they
actually show you a scale.
So you know they go fromanything from being depressed
way up to absolute love and joyand elation, and there's, I
don't know, maybe 20 some ofthem.
That really helps you.
(04:38):
So I would just tell you, if youhaven't seen that, go to the
blog that shares a little bitmore, or go to again
AbrahamHickscom and search foremotional scale or even online
anywhere, because it's there andthose that learn visually.
You'll actually see that andcan print it out, and then those
(05:01):
that learn in different ways.
You can get your informationnecessary.
So what do you feel about theword correct when it comes to
dealing with emotions?
Speaker 2 (05:12):
That's a really good question because I mean, even
though I used it earlier, Idon't know if you know there's
going to be a correct way foreveryone.
But when I envision the idea ofcorrect emotions, it's just
being aware of your emotions andhow you react to situations
where you feel that certainemotion, how you can negate
certain emotions if you don'twant to experience them, and
just knowing how you and yourbody and your mind all use
(05:37):
emotions.
Pretty much, I think that a lotof people maybe don't know when
they're feeling a certainemotion, or they realize after
the fact that they had thatemotion.
So I think that the correct wayto deal with your emotions or
to know about your emotions is,again, just to be aware of them
and to know that you'reexperiencing them, and not to
hide them or to try to subsidethem and deal with them in the
(05:57):
moment.
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Like that's a good point.
We always say it's aninterpersonal journey and I
think your relationship withyour emotions are just as
important.
Maybe that's what one of thetitles might be your
relationship with your emotions.
And if you have one or not,some just go from, they're
(06:21):
triggered by something and thenthey just go to mad or angry or
whatever that scale is, becausethey haven't dealt with the
uncomfortable and the unknown.
And I remember doing a podcastand it was the known to the
(06:42):
unknown to the known, and thatworks a lot with emotions.
So again, I dynamic show thatinfo that this will be posted on
as well as YouTube it will haveit where we talk a little bit
more about that space in between.
That is the most uncomfortable.
It's just like if you're in,say, an emotion that doesn't
(07:05):
feel well, like how does thataffect your body?
Speaker 2 (07:08):
It affects it.
You know very different ways,obviously, and I think being
able to be again aware of thoseemotions might make it less of
an effect.
But I think for a lot of peopleespecially you think about
children or even babies you knowwhen they're crying, when
they're upset.
They don't even understandthose emotions or what's
happening to them, so their onlyreaction is to cry and to know
to get attention, to seek, Iguess, comfort.
(07:31):
And so I think that sometimes,even though we grow older, we
still have those same reactions,sometimes that we don't
understand an emotion, we don'tknow how to feel about it, so we
go to the extremes of crying orto get angry or to shut it out.
So it can be really hard onyour body when you don't really
know how to process an emotion,because you can go into crying
(07:51):
or you know beating yourself upabout it or something more
negative, when you just can'trealize that you're having an
emotion.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Right.
I mean that's a good point too,because when I thought about
that is when you're having theseemotions and you're in it and
it feels uncomfortable anddoesn't feel good like, the
first thing you want is somerelief.
Yeah, that's what the emotionalscale talks about too, is just
how you try to go up theemotional scale, because as you
go up, the emotions feel betterand if you can, you can go up it
(08:21):
quite fast if you're aware andconscious of what you're doing.
You know like, and even whatyou know.
Do you know the difference,really, between being emotional
angry and being outright mad?
Is that the same thing, like?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
being able to do those little distinctions
between the motions and, likeyou said, it's going to be
working up towards.
You know, if you're veryhateful and you're, you know,
screaming at someone, you can'tjust immediately go to being
happy, you know, like it.
I mean maybe if you really knowyour emotions well, but it
shouldn't be that it's anunachievable thing to go up the
scale.
You know it should be that.
(09:00):
Okay, well, I'm really angry,I'm screaming, I'm going to
slowly go into disliking thisperson, the situation.
Then you're going to slowly goup and knowing how to get up
there is really important.
So that could be, you know, athing that you say to yourself
or an activity that you do thatcalms you down, or just getting
away from the situation.
And I think that it's importantthat again, you're able to
realize when you're having thosethoughts and emotions.
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Absolutely, I agree, and remembering that it's an
inner journey, it's easy toblame another for what you made
me feel like this.
Okay, well, maybe someonetriggered you or maybe it
brought up something like an oldmemory and old habit, old
(09:43):
pattern and old belief and old,whatever it might be.
And as an adult, like I said,if you're not dealing with it
when you're younger and asyou're a teenager and a young
adult, and go into that andreally understanding that
emotions are not something thatwe should be afraid of, they're
actually something that we needto have a relationship with.
(10:03):
Yes, so when you have thatremember it's just like another
person is just being that mirror.
You know it really.
They can't think your thoughtslike.
No one can think someone else'sthoughts.
No one can feel someone else'sfeelings.
In that moment, they can relateto them, they can have a sense
(10:26):
of like when someone says likeI'm angry, and they're like okay
, I understand, I know whatangry means, so I'll give you
some space or whatever.
But it's really about opencommunication too, especially if
you're dealing with a partnerand if you're not and you're
just by yourself, it's, andmaybe it's a school thing, or
maybe it's a coach thing, ormaybe it's a teacher thing,
(10:47):
maybe it's a parent thing, maybeit's a friend thing or or
relationship in some wayromantic, having that ability to
just like, be very consciousand be like, mature around it.
Right, like I wish, and I knowit someday not wish, but right
(11:08):
now it's a wish, but I know itsomeday they will bring
something more into schools thatwill tell and show people.
I mean, that's what the kiddynamics program that worked on.
One of the themes is emotionsand I think that it's just
really important for well, startwith kids, but even adults and,
(11:32):
you know, even seniors, way upto the end, you know they have
this inability maybe sometimesto really understand, and after
you've the older you get an agewise, sometimes, the more
patterns you're in of habit,more of a challenge to change or
you just don't want to.
Yes, because everyone has achoice to change anything at any
(11:55):
time.
But it's just like whether dothey want to put in that work
because it's again that knownversus unknown to that known
place again and that space inbetween.
That's very uncomfortable.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yes, and I think a lot of people when they get
older to that.
They feel that the way thatthey react to things or the way
that they handle things as partof their personality and who
they are, and so it becomesreally hard for them to take
away that part of themselves.
If they feel like, oh well, ifI, if I always get angry when I
see the color purple or pink orsomething, or green, whatever
that they feel like, if theystop having that reaction, that
(12:28):
emotion towards it, that that'slosing a part of themselves or
part of who they are as of theiridentity.
So I think, especially evenwhen it comes to when you're in
high school or even middleschool, that some kids, when
they start to develop theirpersonality, the habits that
they have with their emotionshave a big impact on that as
well.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yeah, and you notice the different stages in life.
I guess it's it goes back toknowing yourself a little bit
more and being more aware, butit also has to do with those
different stages in life and allthe hormones and stuff that are
going through you.
So it's like teach aboutemotions and and how to deal
(13:08):
with them in all the stages ofyour life.
But if you're, if you'reteaching the kids and then they
keep learning that along the way, and I think, as, like I said,
those that you know take care ofthe well being of kids, whether
, again, that's a parent or acoach or a teacher or a family
member or someone thatinfluences them, it would be
(13:28):
really good to be aware of thatalong the way and help them,
because you know, if you can'tname it and you're just doing a
habit or you're just taught,this is what you do when this
happens.
That could be a generationalthing.
Yes, for so many, so, so many.
So let's give an example.
Makota, what do you think that,when it comes to emotions, one
(13:59):
way that you've dealt with itwell and one way way that you
feel like you may have to workon it a little bit more?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Ooh, that's a tough question.
He has to be there.
I think I shared an examplewith you a few days ago where I
was playing with some friendsScrabble pretty much for playing
Scrabble and they accidentallyskipped my turn because they
didn't realize they could passit.
And I was like I Was not doingthat good that game.
So I was really hoping thatthat turn was really gonna
change the point scores and Iwas getting a little too
(14:31):
competitive there and I got madat both of them and said like oh
, you should have known.
Like you know, I've played withthis person before.
They know that you can do that.
Like why didn't they tell you?
And I realized like I'm gettingupset over a Video game, that
I'm playing with two of myfavorite people and I'm getting
mad at them for something thatdoesn't even matter, like if I
lose that game, it doesn't makea difference.
(14:52):
And so I realized that I wasmaybe just had to get that
emotion out, but I didn't do itin the right way at all.
I could have been like hey,that kind of made me upset.
Like next time just make surewe can pass my turn, and then it
would have went a lot betterthan to be it, get up getting
upset at them.
But, uh, thankfully I knew thatI was experiencing a bad
emotion and so, rather than, youknow, ending the call and
(15:14):
leaving and not talking to themfor the rest of the day Because
I wanted to like pout and be sad, I said, hey, I that wasn't
cool with me to do.
I want to apologize.
And they're both like it's fine, it's whatever.
So they didn't take itseriously.
But to me, I needed to makesure that I knew that they, they
knew that I was okay with it.
They're like that.
I understood that I didsomething wrong.
So, even if it wasn't aboutthem apologizing or getting an
(15:37):
apology out of them or anysatisfaction of their end, it's
just that I knew that I had tobe Okay with that fact, that I
knew I did something wrong andthat I was apologizing and
Recurrecting.
And it wasn't changing mypersonality or changing anything
about myself, it was justknowing that, hey, I did
something wrong and beingaccountable for that and I think
(15:57):
a.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
And I'm gonna stop you as we go on to the next one,
because I think that's a greatexample.
I do want to bring up somethingthat you said several times in
that explanation.
You said you feel like you weredoing something wrong.
Yeah, and that is veryinteresting because people often
relate through my years ofteaching, in my years in this
(16:20):
physical life here, people oftenthink that the emotions that
come up are wrong.
So it might not have been thatyou felt like your emotion was
wrong.
Maybe is you didn't feel likeyou handled your emotions well
in that situation.
So because I never want to I Imean just my opinion, of course
(16:40):
and this is a discussion is Inever want people in our
audience To feel like theiremotions are wrong, like the
emotions that come up are wrong,because that's obviously
something in you and it'sbrought something up for you to
heal.
It's what you do with it, right.
So it's not like anything'sright or wrong, it just is.
(17:03):
But how do you feel about whatit was?
You know, like, because, like,I don't want our listeners to
think, okay, well, it was wrong,just to have that.
You know, definitely motion it,but it's the way you're
explained.
That I just want to clarify,because it was like Was it that
you felt your emotion was wrongor you felt like how you Related
(17:26):
and dealt with the situationwas maybe better, a better
choice could have been done?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Yes, I think I'm really happy that you clarified
it on that.
And so it wasn't that I feltthat the emotion of me being
angry was wrong, because you canbe angry about something and
you know, in my mind at thatpoint I had every right to be
angry about that situation, butthe way that I handled it was
wrong in my eyes, you know.
I know that that's not the rightway to handle anger and that
(17:53):
wasn't gonna solve anything ormake the situation better by me
Blowing up at my friends andmaking the situation
uncomfortable.
Now.
So the fact that I had anger,totally fine, you know, that's
an emotion that's gonna come upand there's obviously a reason
that that came up for me.
But the way that I handled itin my eyes and the way that I
want to Use that emotion waswrong.
(18:14):
You know, I should haverealized hey, I'm not feeling
this way, let me step away, letme Do something that I know will
, let me deescalate thesituation a bit before I would
yell at my friends.
And so it's definitely justthat the emotion is not wrong
because it's a part of me.
It's just the way that I knewthat I could handle it and I did
not do that properly in thatsituation?
Speaker 1 (18:33):
So, well, I mean, that's good to be aware of that.
And do you know, before we goon to the other example, is that
sometimes, instead of laughingabout stuff, that we take it so
personal?
Yes, yeah, I mean, that's justa trait that I have in my family
, generationally.
(18:53):
I've showed you that example oftaking things personal.
Like, how dare you skip my turnin your example, you know.
But the fact that we take itpersonally, instead of just
going, okay, guys, or you know,okay, whoever's on, you know
like, hey, you know you skippedby me, okay, turn it around,
that's good, and making fun ofit, that it just obviously that
(19:17):
energy must have been prevalentin your you know your energetic
field for that to bother you.
What do you feel about?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
sometimes we take things personal, you know,
because it is bringing up stuffor triggering something, or
something that we've used tohaving or believing, or yeah, I
think it wasn't for sure, that Ijust wasn't aware of the
emotions that I was experiencingand that I was getting really
competitive and like maybe two,into a Scrabble game, which
(19:49):
sounds kind of silly, you know,if you ever played a game or
anything like that.
But it's just, yeah, I didn'trealize that I was feeling those
emotions until it was just pastthe point and that I was taking
it way too seriously, becausewhat's the worst that's gonna
happen if they skip my turn.
Okay, then I just take twoturns next time, or, you know,
they don't take their turn nexttime.
(20:10):
So it's like it's not.
It's not a situation where Ishould have been overreacting
and kind of like taking it superpersonally, like they had done
it maliciously and you know theyhad planned and planned it
together to skip my turn.
It's like, no, it was honestmistake, it wasn't anything that
they were doing.
You're planning against you.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
Yeah, so it's like the third turn around.
Do not give her a third turn.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, so it's like it's not worth it to have those
emotions towards people that Icare about, and thankfully they
were understanding and theyweren't like oh yeah, of course
you would act like that.
You know it's not somethingthat it's a usual trait.
Yes, yeah, it's not a usualthing that I would just get mad
at them so they weren't takingit super like personally,
they're just like oh, obviouslythat was not something we should
have done.
My apologies are other than itbeing like oh, you're always
(20:53):
like this and making it a biggersituation, so it was out of
character for me and thankfully,they acted in character by
apologizing and saying it's okay, yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
And having supportive , cool friends around you that
get emotions and then are sortof more balanced.
This is not about having anunbalanced, it's more about
having a balanced life where youknow that you're gonna go up
and down that emotional scalesometimes, but that it's okay,
(21:24):
and then just knowing what to dowith it and having those cool
friends, like you do around youto let you have that space and
therefore process it in themoment, which is good Cause,
like I said, you could have wentI'm out of here, yeah, whatever
and go into all of those.
What is it?
(21:47):
For me and sad and angry, andyou know like, because you can.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
Yes, and I think definitely, as I've gotten older
, I've gotten better at notdoing that Cause whenever I
would feel those emotions, Idefinitely would go into that
space of like oh, I should bethe one that's getting
apologized to and I'm the onethat's got wronged by this
skipping of my turn and all that.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
So yeah, and thank you for sharing that cause.
That was a personal experience,but that's what this you know,
the podcast or about sometimesis just these personal
experiences that help otherpeople right.
So what about a good way thatyou addressed your emotions,
Like like an example?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
The one that I thought of is probably what I
was doing my teaching practicewith the great tours, like I was
grade one.
I think I was grade one and forme I don't like a lot of noise
and like if there's a noisy roomsometimes I just get
overwhelmed and like I have tostep away.
And so I was able to kind ofcounteract that a little bit by
(22:51):
knowing ahead of time that I wasgoing to feel that way with how
many students were in the classand there was like 25 and they
were, all you know, all over theplace.
And so I was able to say, hey,I told my host teacher.
I was like I'm going to wearsome earplugs sometimes I can
still hear the students.
I just need to make sure that Idon't get overwhelmed and then
have a bad day because of that.
And she was very understandingand I was able to kind of talk
(23:13):
to her on that level, where itwasn't a thing of like, oh, your
students are too loud, you needto control them, like I wasn't
getting mad at her for how kidsare going to reaction, act, but
being able to understand thathey, I know how I'm going to act
with the situation and tocounteract that by wearing
contacts, by wearing earplugs,and to then be able to have very
(23:36):
amazing days with those kidsevery single day.
And after the first times ofwhat's in your ears, why are
they orange?
We were able to have great daysbecause I wasn't letting them
do that.
I was not letting the noise andletting my own emotions around
that get in the way of justspending time with those kids
and helping them learn.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
So that's awesome, that's good, just knowing the
difference, right.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yes, the difference of I could have let my feelings
about the noise get to me, butthe fact that I knew that there
was a solution that I couldeasily do that would counteract
all of that, and that I was ableto kind of mitigate my own
emotions a little bit with thatreally helped, I think.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
Right, and let's just make note, she wasn't the main
teacher, it was a teacherpracticum, so, just so, not your
regular teacher would always bewearing earplugs.
It was helping and it was asituation where you were in
there helping a teacher and youmade the best of the situation.
Yes, yeah, for sure, andespecially if you're not used to
(24:40):
a situation either.
Right, so to end up, because wewant to keep this under 30
minutes, but once we starttalking about stuff, things is
so slow.
So what would you say as a takehome tool for someone that
wants to have a betterunderstanding of how they can
(25:01):
relate to their emotions?
Now, one thing that I would sayis you know, you can use
whatever resource you want, butuse the resource of that
emotional scale.
Look it up, print it out, saveit, whatever you want to do, and
just have the awareness,because once you're conscious
and once you're aware ofsomething, it's, then it's in
(25:24):
your awareness that when thatopportunity comes up again, you
can go.
I have a moment right here thatI can choose my old behavior or
a new one, and so you have thatpower in every moment to change
.
But you don't know what tochange to unless you know that
there's a different choice topick.
Yes, well, it's just a habit Ihave, and, and this is.
(25:48):
But if you know that there'ssomething better to choose, then
your habit can be a morehealthy habit.
So what about a take home toolthat you would like to share
with our audience?
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I think that the biggest thing that I could say
for anyone of any age,especially if you kind of gotten
set in your ways and you feellike your emotions are how they
should be or how they've alwaysbeen I think the best way to, if
you want to hopefully changethe way that you act and to be
more positive and likeresponsive with your emotions,
is to look through all youremotions so as many as you think
(26:24):
that you've experiencedthroughout your life, or the
ones that you experienced themost, maybe the ones that you're
the most ashamed of having orsomething and how you react with
those emotions.
So when you're angry, how doyou react?
I think of situations whereyou've been angry and it has it
been consistent.
Have you always yelled atsomeone?
Have you always ran away andthen realizing is that how I
actually want to act with thoseemotions?
Even being happy, maybe youdon't act as happy as you want
(26:47):
to, or you aren't able toexpress your happiness in the
way that you want, and so youshould look back on your life as
much as possible, write it downif you have to, and feel like
OK, do I really want to havethis be my reaction for these
emotions.
Is this something that I'mhappy with?
Is this something that ishelping my relationships out?
Is it something that I am proudof showing?
(27:08):
And if that's no, thenhopefully you can kind of
realize, well, what do I wantinstead and hopefully slowly
work on it to get to that betterreaction.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Yeah, I think that's a great point, and thanks for
sharing that take home tool,because what came up when you
were talking is, once you makechoices like that, we all know
about the law of attraction.
So just be prepared, because alot of attraction will give you
an opportunity to Ensure thatthat is truly what you want to
(27:40):
do.
It'll bring a situation to youbecause they're like, oh, you
want to deal with thisdifferently?
Ok, well, I'll just bring asituation that gives you the
opportunity to make a new choice.
So, when you're doing consciouswork, that is a that's a thing.
And, again, if those peoplearen't aware of law of
attraction, just look it up aswell, because that is a great
(28:01):
resource to know how truly a lotof attraction works.
So we're getting up to thatpoint.
So I just want to say thank you, thank you, thank you, makota,
for joining us.
It's a great podcast, yeah, andI'm sure that we might do
another one on this, becausethere's so many examples for so
many different ages as to how wecan get, how the relationship
(28:23):
with our emotions will work andshould work and should be one of
the greatest relationships thatwe have when it comes to what
we have.
Relationship with is is it'ssort of the one that's set aside
versus the one that, oh, maybethere's so many feelings, maybe
I should just get a handle onthe handle on them.
(28:44):
That's right.
So we again.
Thank you, makota.
Yes, thank you, thank you.
So we have lots of great showscoming up and lots of great past
recordings.
So go see what serves you byvisiting daynamicshowinfo and
explore our other greatresources and products.
(29:04):
And I do need to add that allmaterials are cooperated in our
for informational purposes.
So until we meet again, thankyou, thank you, thank you for
listening and make it a dynamicday.
Make it a dynamic day.
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