February 3, 2026 • 56 mins
What if you chose freedom in the face of fear?
Bob Parsons has three decades of experience coaching senior leaders and executives overcome limiting beliefs while leveraging their gifts and leading them to greater levels of performance.
It was a season in his life where he found himself at a choice point of staying with what he knew or leaping into what set his heart on fire and he hired me to help him through this transition.
Listen for Bob's story of overcoming 'survival mode' and choosing bravery in the face of fear and the impact that has had not just in his working life, but in his personal relationships, marriage and financial life too.
Bob shares so many gems about intentional living, powerful communication and reminds us that coaching tools can be applied in all areas of our life to set us free and move us closer to the life we are here to live.
Are you ready to set yourself free?
Enjoy!
Learn more about Bob:
Website: https://www.parsonscoachingllc.com/
Connect on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bobparsons/
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Website: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_03 (00:00):
A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep
change in the way that we think.
I'm Carla Reeves, and this isDifferently.
Welcome back to Differently.
Today's episode is a clientspotlight.
I want you to meet my client BobParsons.
One of my favorite parts of myjob is having this unique window
(00:22):
into people's lives.
I felt the important theme ofour conversation today and Bob's
journey in coaching was choosingfreedom in the face of fear.
I think you will hear that againand again in Bob's stories.
This guy has impacted my life ina very short period of time.
His heart for God, his heart forhis wife and family, his heart
(00:45):
to serve, and his pursuit to dowhatever it takes to show up and
bring all he has to the momentat hand can't help but leave you
touched and inspired.
Get ready, we're going to covera lot of ground from being at a
crossroads and afraid to doingthe hard thing again and again.
(01:05):
Intentional marriage andparenting, getting free of his
own self-imposed limitations toexperience true freedom and
more.
Be on the lookout for all thelittle nuggets of wisdom he
makes sure to share with you.
You might grab a tissue.
This one gets real.
(01:26):
I have a special guest today.
And if you've been um followingthe podcast for a while, you can
go back.
I occasionally do a clientspotlight so that you can get a
kind of a glimpse behind themystery of coaching and what
actually happens in coaching.
And I today I have it's reallyan honor.
(01:47):
Um I get to share Bob Parsonswith you.
And so, Bob, welcome todifferently.
SPEAKER_00 (01:53):
Hey, thanks so much for having me.
This is a great privilege.
SPEAKER_03 (01:57):
Likewise.
So share with the listeners alittle bit about where you are
in the world and what season oflife you find yourself in.
Just paint a picture for us.
SPEAKER_00 (02:08):
That's a dangerous question to Bob Parsons.
My wife would say never give himthe microphone wide open.
Um so I'm gonna do my best.
So I have been in this field oftalent development, learning
development, um, coaching sincecow, can I I remember when I
first started in corporate uh inHR and training, and I just got
(02:31):
super curious, and I was askedby my boss to design a
leadership development program,and I had never done it.
And my boss said, I know you'venever done it, but I think you
can do it.
I went, Okay, well, that's kindof a cool mindset.
So I I bought a book, I I read,What's the best way to put
together a training developmentprogram?
(02:52):
So I read it, I followed it wasby by uh Bob Pike.
He wrote this back uh in the ithas to be in the late 80s, of
just a neat guy, and he reallyhelped me.
I mean, he nailed it for me, andit was a super easy practical
book.
But what was cool is I was doingan assessment and I was
gathering the data, and Ifigured out well, there need
(03:13):
there was a need for corecomponents for this journey.
So there was this thing calleduh uh what was it called?
Um counseling for performance.
And and when I read the thebehaviors and what people
needed, it sounded like whatpeople had been telling me was a
(03:35):
coaching uh type of a solution.
So I went on the hunt, I auditedsix different deals, and I found
this one.
And I'm can I give them kudos?
Is that okay?
Can I give them a yeah, ofcourse?
Okay, inside out development.
Um, they got me started on mycoaching journey.
And at the time I was kind of apseudo-HR slash talent slash uh
(03:56):
production trainer, and I knew Iwas missing something.
I was great 50% of the time, andthe other 50% of the time I was
a total idiot because I I reallywas kind of winging it.
I I knew I was missingsomething, but I couldn't
pinpoint it until I went to thiscoaching uh workshop, and it
was.
I had no structure, nointention, no purpose, no uh
purpose to my conversations.
(04:17):
I wasn't very planful, I wasdoing it by the seat of my
pants, I was running out ofideas, and when I found these
tools, it was like the heavensopened up, and I this was it,
this was the ticket.
So that's what kind of got mestarted on the coaching journey.
So I quit for a couple years, Iwent on my own, and that's when
I got my LLC.
(04:38):
And then I wanted to get coachtraining, and so I worked
part-time for a colleague friendof mine, he was my professor,
and uh so then once I I startedthat ball rolling, I got went
back into corporate as an ODmanager, and they and my I'll
never forget Diane, my boss.
She said, Bob, I want to bringyou in for your OD skills, but I
want you to introduce coachingto to the organization, and I
(05:03):
want you to coach as if you werebeing paid by each individual.
I will make sure you get clientsand customers, you just treat
them like a paid customer, andthat's right I started my
journey in terms of this wholecoaching deal.
I logged over 950 hours there.
I got to work with managers andthen senior directors and then
senior executives, and then Igot to work with the executive
(05:24):
team, and I got to do coachingto our high potential teams and
there and the individuals andthe people in the Thompson
School of Executive Leadershiptop 35.
I mean, just all these doorsopened up.
Wow.
And then um, yeah, it's justcrazy.
And then that kind of one thingled to another.
I left Thompson, I went to asmall executive coaching firm
(05:45):
for about six and a half yearsand helped develop their
executive coaching practice andstill was coaching and helping
out in that arena.
Then I thought, well, I reallymiss corporate, and I I was I
was ready for a next challenge,and so I went back into
corporate with um a large tiremanufacturer, and I got a lot of
great experience, but I knewsomething was off for me.
(06:08):
And so one thing led to I wasdoing coaching, I was coaching
high potentials, I was helpingwith leadership development, but
something was missing.
So I hired a coach, and I hiredone coach who really kind of
helped me with my uh kind of mycareer piece, right?
And then that's about as far asshe could take me, and then I
(06:28):
hired you, which really helpedme take the big leap and deal
with my mind traffic aroundbecause I was wrestling with do
I go back into corporate after30 some years, deal with the
same old stuff, or do I createmore freedom in my life, but I
had a lot of fear, and so that'show we got connected.
(06:50):
Well, how we got connected is adifferent story, but that is.
SPEAKER_03 (06:54):
Um, so before we talk about our journey together,
I also want you to just touch onyour personal life because I
know you have a personal lifethat and a marriage that lights
you up and is a huge part ofyour world.
So just briefly fill in thatcolor.
SPEAKER_00 (07:10):
Okay.
Alright, so uh listeners, justif I start crying, that's just
who I am.
I'm just very passionate aboutfamily.
And I got married.
Um, I met the woman of my dreamsum in a show.
I was doing, I was in theater, Iwas in a show, and um her
roommate told me, Hey, you gottameet this girl.
(07:32):
I know you guys will be perfectfor each other.
So I I saw her come down afterthe show, and I said, I'm gonna
marry her.
And I went, I had three friendswho were in the barbershop
quartet, and I went over to thembecause they were in the show
with me, and I said, Look, youguys, do me a favor.
I just met the girl I'm gonnamarry.
I just two songs.
That's all I asked.
Just let's do two songs.
(07:52):
And so we did Jonah and thewhale and Coney Island Baby, and
that's how I wooed her.
She thought I was weird, but shealso thought I was cute and fun.
SPEAKER_03 (08:01):
That is so awesome.
I didn't know that story.
SPEAKER_00 (08:05):
Yep, yeah, that's one of my faves.
And then, so we we dated threeyears, and then we got married,
and we said at the beginning, wewe want to be intentional
parents.
And a lot of us, you know,growing up, we all would say,
you know, our parents did thisgreat, but our parents didn't do
that great.
But you know, my parents wereactually did a great job for how
(08:27):
they were enabled, how they weretaught, and what they had
surrounding them, they actuallydid a pretty good job.
But I wanted to be moreintentional.
I wanted to be a moreintentional and I was a
believer, but I was I was kindof a not an all-body and
believer, you know, Christianand Jesus, believe in Jesus.
I was kind of walking, I waswalking, but I wasn't, um, I was
(08:48):
talking, but I wasn't doing thewalking.
And so when I met Pam, she wasthe first one who just really
called me out on my behavior andmy my hypocrisy.
And and so that Lord used her toget me straight.
And then we both said, we'regonna do this journey, and we're
gonna do it.
We don't have any mentors, bothof our parents were divorced
after 25 years.
We had nobody really kind of totell us how to do this, raising
(09:10):
kids and everything.
So we started reading books.
I started going to conferences,I'd I'd learn something, I'd
come home, I'd try it, and thenafter I tried at home, I'd try
it at work, and then I figuredout, man, if it works at home, I
know it's gonna work at workbecause we're all just babies
and big bodies, right?
And some of us are just moremature than others.
So that was a journey for Pamand I.
(09:31):
We we have just always beenlearners, and I've been same in
my business world.
I mean, when I I'm in a job, ifI'm in a job longer than two and
a half years, I just get theitchy trigger finger.
If my job hasn't changed or beenmolded to be about 30% different
or challenging to me, um, then II start to lose engagement.
And so I'm always reading, I'malways going to conferences, and
(09:53):
that's where we started toinfuse a coach approach to being
married and raising a family.
And I like I took my kids ondates and I'd ask them questions
because I had no clue how to bea dad, and I wanted to take them
out and make them feel special.
And the only way I knew that waswell, wait a minute, there's
this cool question book.
Oh, they talked about this onFocus on the Family.
(10:15):
Oh, I have a script I canfollow, right?
I'm in theater, so I have I havea guide, and it was amazing what
I heard from my kids when I justasked a question and shut up.
And I thought, wait a minute,this is coaching principles.
And then my wife, I mean, we'vebeen more we're gonna be married
(10:35):
41 years this weekend.
SPEAKER_03 (10:38):
Wow, happy anniversary.
SPEAKER_00 (10:41):
Well, I'm gonna say that the coach principles have a
lot to do with it because Ilearned how to listen better.
I'm not perfect, I'm still screwup, but I am way better, a
better listener to my wife, thanI was when I first got married.
And all you guys listening tothis know this is that um when
(11:02):
your wife gives you a problem,what what do you want to do?
You wanna, and I'll fill in theblank, you wanna fix it.
You're a doer, you're a fixer.
So I wanted to fix it all thetime.
And she would say to me, Again,guys, fill in the blank.
I don't want to be fixed.
I just want you to listen.
You know what they do, Carla?
Exactly.
(11:23):
Exactly.
So I said, okay.
So then I learned to ask thequestion.
I said, okay, wait a minute.
I don't know when that is, Ican't find that.
So I would say to her, Okay, doyou want me to listen?
Or do you want some ideas forhow to fix that?
And of course, when she said, Isaid, look, if you say listen,
I'm all in.
I'm a focused male, I'll takeout the listing box, I'll put it
(11:43):
on the desk, and I am totallyfocused on you.
So then one day we started gamechanger, game changer.
I hear things that my wife says,I'm paying attention to body
language, just like I would withclients.
I could hear things that weren'tbeing said, but I could hear
main messages.
And then my wife and I gotmarried and uh interested in
(12:04):
marriage ministry because we hadsuch a passion for couples who
are struggling, couples who justwanted help.
It's just like a leader.
Leaders just want help, theywant a safe place to unwind and
open up their brain and get iton the table without somebody
judging them or grabbingsomething and running with it
that they never intended forthem to do.
(12:25):
And it's the same with marriage.
Marriage is just trying tofigure out how do we talk to
each other, how do we treat eachother, how do we meet each
other's needs and biblicallybased, right?
If you look at coaching andmarriage, it's all biblically
based.
It's all the same.
Jesus asked Grace questions andhe listened and he paid
attention and he was in themoment.
And so we got into that, andthen the beauty, now we've been
doing this for almost 18 years,we've infused our uh our
(12:49):
marriage mentoring withcoaching.
And we've seen it's a lot lessstress for us, it's a lot more
fun, and we've seen marriagestransform in amazing ways.
SPEAKER_03 (13:01):
So awesome.
I and and just to Is that whatyou're looking for?
Is that what you're well?
Yeah, I just wanted people toget a sense.
Like you were so passionateabout these other parts of your
life, and like you can also hearthat a lot of your life is
working really well.
And I think even with coaching,sometimes we think like things
have to be falling apart to workwith a coach.
(13:22):
And a lot of times it's uh anincredible place when you have a
lot of things working and youwant to just expand or broaden
that or to you know bring itinto a new area of your life.
Um, anyway, so I wanted that,but also I want to just give the
listeners like a um like to letthem know that you're gonna come
back and we're gonna talk aboutmarriage and parenting could be
(13:44):
a fun one too, because you'reright.
The things that's one of myfavorite things about coaching
is that we might be coachingaround a business concept, but
those concepts you can take intoyour marriage, into your
parenting, into your everydayinteractions and apply them and
they can start to ripple allover your life.
I I love that.
(14:06):
So, okay, so back to yes, we metin kind of an interesting way,
and just I mean, I I don't thinkI don't even know if you were
really seeking a coach.
We just happened to be on thesame call and you thought I uh
we should connect and we did.
And then I I thought I was justanswering your questions about
really being a coach and anentrepreneur and having my own
(14:26):
coaching business.
And then at the end of thatcall, you asked me to be your
coach, and I was stunned.
I had no idea that was coming.
SPEAKER_00 (14:36):
That's how that's how God works, right?
Isn't that how amazing?
SPEAKER_03 (14:38):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (14:39):
I mean, uh by the way, I want to give your
listeners some really coolpractical tools while we're
talking, right?
So I want them to be able towalk away from this podcast and
say, wow, I could I can actuallydo that tomorrow.
So, guys, I'm giving you thatone tool.
If you're wrestling with yourtrying to fix your wife, number
one, she's it's not your job tofix her, okay?
Let God do that.
Number two, just this simplequestion, okay.
(15:02):
Do you want me to listen?
Or would you like me to sharesome ideas for how to fix that?
And then when she gives you theanswer, you go do because that's
what you're great at.
SPEAKER_03 (15:12):
100%.
What tip number one for toolnumber one, yes.
So, Bob, give people a sense ofwhere you were when you and I
started working together andwhat like really what you were
seeking to get out of coaching.
SPEAKER_00 (15:26):
Yeah, oh wow.
Um, I think I you and I were ona uh like a webinar, and I
thought I heard you ask a reallygreat question.
I went, now, the only person whocould ask a question like that
would be a great, well-trainedcoach.
So I said, I need to getconnected with her because I was
(15:48):
on this journey, Carla, that Ihad figured out it was gonna go
on my own, but I had I was I washad a lot of fear, and so I was
my my job was to interview atleast 40 people on my network
who are in a similar role thatyou are on their own, they've
been doing this for a while, andjust asking.
I bought a lot of coffee.
By the way, here's another tipnumber two people love free
(16:12):
stuff.
So if you're trying to getsomewhere and you know, figure
out who I can interview, who canI ask who's been on this journey
before to just get their wisdom?
And so I I mapped out like 12questions.
And if your listeners areinterested in this, I can I'm
happy to share that.
But I had 12 questions because Iwanted to know from them hey,
how did you get started?
(16:32):
Tell me about your journey.
Um, what what tools are youusing?
How are you pricing your serviceand your product?
Um, what else did I ask?
I asked, like, what's yourbiggest challenge and what is
getting in the way of you beingeven more successful?
And what does success look likefor you?
And I just bought them freecoffee.
If there was a virtual call, I'dsend them a Starbucks card.
(16:53):
If it was, you know, obviouslyif it was person to person,
which I love, I would just buythem coffee and they just loved
it.
They said, Oh my gosh, free cupof coffee, I'm all in.
So great.
So that's how I got connectedwith you.
And I just my intent was just tointerview you and ask about your
business.
And I think if correct, okay,again, I have a great memory,
it's just short, but um, if youremember something different,
(17:15):
please fill in the blank.
But I think I remember Iremember getting off the call
thinking I need a coach.
I didn't want to pay for acoach, I couldn't afford a coach
right then, but I need a coach.
And so, you know, after you andI connected a few times, I think
I did ask you, you know, prettyquickly, right?
Hey, would you be interested inbeing my coach?
Because I think you had thisunique approach.
(17:37):
I I in my soul I could sensethis strong, courageous, gentle
spirit.
That's the best way I candescribe you is this strong,
courageous who wasn't afraid toask the hard questions, but you
did it in what I would call acoach approach, which is a
loving way.
And so that's um that's how youand I got connected.
(17:58):
And then yeah, I was just that'sbeen a game changer ever since I
I I hired you.
SPEAKER_03 (18:04):
Well, I'm so glad our paths have crossed.
And yes, I think it was on thatside, it was after that second
call that we had, and he youwere, you were so prepared.
You had so many questions, andthen at the end, you kind of
mentioned like you weresomething about coaching, and I
I was so surprised and anddelighted.
It's been an incredible journey.
I um so you were you were youI'm trying to remember, you had
(18:26):
already left you left corporate,you were on your own as a coach,
and you were just like fearfuland a little trepidatious about
what to do next and where to goand what to focus on and all of
that.
SPEAKER_00 (18:37):
Yeah, and I just hired a yeah, I had I'm sorry, I
had hired a career coach, andwhat she helped me understand
was yes.
I mean, I was not going down thepath of being on my own.
I just said I'm not going on myown.
I said it for a long time.
I've been there, done that.
I don't want the headaches, Ididn't want the marketing, I
didn't want the selling, any ofthat.
(18:57):
And then God whacked me in theside of the head, and he said,
and I heard this very clearlywhen are you gonna stop trusting
the man and start trusting theman?
And that was the start of theend of my crutch on myself and
(19:22):
putting it out there, and Ithink I remember, yeah, I came
to you, then I said, I made thedecision, I was going on my own,
but I needed to figure it out,and I couldn't do it by myself.
I had too much mind traffic.
I'll call it mind traffic.
SPEAKER_03 (19:36):
Yeah, so we dove right into your thinking, right?
Which is the first place um wego because anytime you want to
make a a deep change in yourlife, you've got to examine your
thinking because it really isthe foundation.
And so would you be willing toshare some of the barriers that
(19:57):
or um components of yoursurvival?
Model that we discovered thatwere that we're getting in your
way.
SPEAKER_00 (20:05):
Okay, here we go.
For those of you who have this,or have these, these.
Number one was my survival wasmoney.
I I always said my biggest fearwas getting laid off again.
My first coach said to me, Bob,wait a minute, you've been laid
off three.
This is your third time.
(20:27):
You have kind of gone through avery similar experience with
regards to the transformation ofthe organization, going
centralized, decentralized, andnew new bosses, and new focus
and changing priorities.
And she said, So you so you wantto go back to that again?
And I said, I wanted to say yes.
(20:50):
But I I couldn't.
I just I knew God was sayingyou, I'm gonna release your
grips.
I'm gonna help you release yourgrips.
You haven't released them.
You know, it's it's it's likeyou stay with something just
because it's comfortable becauseit's so hard to change.
(21:11):
And sometimes God's gonna kickyou in the rear end literally
and whack you aside the head tosay, All right, I tried to warn
you, I tried to tell you, nowwe're gonna do it my way.
And that's the um that was theone thing.
Like every morning I get up, Ipay my bills.
Every morning, you and I talkedabout this.
I'd go do my checking accountbefore I do my quiet time, and
(21:32):
then I was rushing my quiettime, and I'm going, no, I
don't, I don't want this.
So that was that was one of mysurvival modes, and I think the
other one was control, some typeof a like a control of over
planning.
I think is that does that soundright?
I mean, if I could word itright.
SPEAKER_03 (21:49):
Yeah, I think there was an overing because there was
this idea that maybe I'm notgonna measure up or it's I'm not
gonna make it, right?
So when we have a doubt,sometimes we over over-prepare,
over-give, over-deliver.
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
Yeah.
I would, yeah, I think I I rekept your little book, by the
way.
SPEAKER_03 (22:09):
Uh uh, I'm glad.
It's a book of coachingreminders that he's showing in
video, but you can't see.
Um, well, I want to go back tothe moment you just landed on
because I so appreciate you uhbeing so honest about that.
And I think that like when I sawyour emotion or felt your
(22:30):
emotion, I feel my own emotion.
And I think people listening canfeel that.
It's like that moment that youit's that choice point of like,
do I stay safe and shrink and dowhat I've always done, which
feels safe and comfortable, ordo I stretch and do this scary
thing without knowing what'sgonna happen?
And I I think that every time Itake that leap, there's
(22:54):
something amazing that I didn'texpect on the other side, but it
it does require a lot ofcourage.
SPEAKER_00 (23:03):
Yeah, you wrote this really well.
I you put this in words that I Icouldn't.
I had never heard of survivalmode before, by the way, until I
had met you.
And I'm survival mode, what isthat?
Like, and I just got this imageof my nose just above the water,
constantly above the water.
(23:23):
And that's no fun to try andstay alive with your nose just
above the water because you'restill taking in water and you're
flailing like crazy.
But you said here, withoutconsciously realizing it, you
designed a way to navigate yourworld world in order to survive
what was happening around you.
It shaped your behaviors and howyou showed up in the world.
You decided that certain thingswere so and labeled them as
(23:46):
truth.
Yeah, yep.
This model became the defaultfor how you move through life.
When living in this model, youfeel like you are surviving with
a constant pull to do more, bebetter, prove, and overcome
something from the past.
That was you nailed it on thesurvival mode.
And that that came out aftersome discussions that you and I
(24:06):
had that I again didn't knowwhat that was, but once you
verbalized that and helped drawit out of me, uh was like super
clear around, oh my gosh, I'mtrying to control my environment
so that so that I don't get laidoff, so that my kids will be
great, so that my marriage willbe awesome.
I I it was a control, kind of acontrol freaky issue.
SPEAKER_03 (24:29):
Yeah.
It's you know, it's for mostpeople, you know, and for people
listening, you can start to looklike for most people, we are
living to prove or overcome orsurvive something.
And why I love this work so muchis that there's a way to live to
build something or to createsomething, and that's really
(24:53):
aligned with who you are in yoursoul.
And when you can get free ofthat old model, you can start to
live to create and live to buildand live to align with what it
is you're here to do.
And it just removes all thatresistance, it removes a ton of
stress and pressure and load.
And I think I saw you lightenyourself up, and then you could
(25:16):
start to lean into who younaturally are.
SPEAKER_00 (25:21):
When I realized that and I let go, I let I literally
let go.
And I said, Okay, Lord, I'vetold you this, I've shared this
with you.
Here's my two fish and my fiveloaves.
I am not the miracle worker, youare, and if you can get me
business, you will be themiracle worker.
SPEAKER_03 (25:39):
So share with people who may not be familiar with the
biblical reference there whatthat means.
SPEAKER_00 (25:46):
Yeah, so in the Bible, Jesus, you know, the
feeding of the 5,000, right?
And so in one of the instances,he did it twice.
And one of the instances hesaid, Hey, tell me what you
have.
You know, there were 5,000 pluspeople there.
Actually, they were justcounting the men.
So if you think about the womenand the children, there were
probably more like, you know,10,000 being fed.
(26:06):
And they had gathered up whatwas in the crowd, and it was two
fish and five loaves, andthey're all looking, Jesus,
you're nuts.
I don't know what we're gonna dohere because we don't we got to
send these people home.
And Jesus said, You go feedthem, right?
So he sent them out into thecrowd, and there were 12 baskets
full left over.
The Lord provided.
(26:27):
They were faithful, they had togo out and go there going, uh,
okay, who's gonna take thisfish?
Who's gonna take that fish?
I'll be each of us get you knowa half a loaf or whatever, and
they had to go out and befaithful and actually go do.
They had to take action offaith, thinking, all right, he's
gonna do something, I guess.
And and then they saw thisoverpouring of blessing to
(26:51):
people who were also in need.
So not only did he strengthenthe faith of the his disciples,
he was showing up in a mightyway to people in a crowd, 10,000
people who had a need.
And it wasn't the disciples, itwas the Lord.
The Lord did the work.
(27:11):
I went through Stephen ministrytraining, and I'll never forget
one of the things that reallyresonated with me was they said
to us, You are not thecaregiver.
You are the caregiver.
You're not the caregiver.
Let the Lord do that.
The Lord, let the Lord do thework.
You don't have to carry thatburden, but you walk along with
them.
That's kind of what coaching is.
You're walking along withanother person on their journey,
(27:33):
listening, helping them process,helping them think through,
think through, and in a safe,non-judgmental, loving.
I'm gonna use the word love herebecause you don't hear that very
often in corporate.
A loving way to help people moveforward.
SPEAKER_03 (27:48):
Yeah, it's amazing what happens when you feel seen,
heard, and deeply listened to,right?
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
So that's my two fish and five love story.
SPEAKER_03 (27:59):
Yeah, so you apply that in the sense of like, I'm
gonna bring what I can bring tothe table and trust that God's
gonna work through me to do therest, and that takes, I imagine,
a whole bunch of pressure off.
SPEAKER_00 (28:11):
My wife said, after you and I started meeting, and I
started to get into the the new,right?
You and I talked about the new.
SPEAKER_02 (28:22):
Being like a new mod.
SPEAKER_00 (28:23):
I have my bob.
My my wife said to me, I have mybob back.
SPEAKER_03 (28:28):
Uh Wow.
You hadn't told me that.
So good.
It's crazy what the mind.
Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (28:45):
That was a powerful statement because I realized how
long I had felt like I wastrapped in my own prison.
It wasn't anybody that didanything to me.
And I knew that I had put thesetruths, and this survival model
was my prison.
(29:06):
And I felt like I had just beengiven the key for me to walk out
of that cell.
Yeah, you know, but I didn'ttake it for so long.
And so now I just I was sleepingbetter.
I was I was living, I wasspending more intentional time
with my wife.
(29:26):
I had I was working half thehours.
Now, again, if you're working 60hours, I was working 30.
I was up at 6 a.m.
I was working until 10 o'clocksometimes.
I was I was a global supportperson, so I was working with
you know 42 countries, and alsowhen I took a vacation, I could
never relax.
(29:47):
I was always thinking about, ohmy gosh, I'm gonna have 100
emails or 150 emails.
So I was doing emails onvacation, and my wife hated
that.
And so now I said, you help me,you help me get back to my
foundation, which was I hadalways believed that God first,
my wife, and my kids, andfamily, and then my work.
(30:11):
That's the party.
But I was living out of whackwith what I believed was
important to me.
I was making and living in a waythat made my job more important
than anything else, and it wastaking over.
So I I felt like I gotta get outof free, get out of jail free
card.
SPEAKER_03 (30:28):
I love that.
Well, and when you're living outof whack with your values and
your nature and your, you know,there's a huge impact of stress
and sometimes physical, youknow, disease or illness when
we're living out of alignmentwith that.
And the thing about this is isthat we as humans are so much
(30:50):
closer to what we want, like itcan feel so far away, but like
you sharing your story, you cansee that you know, getting this
realizing that you've beenliving in this lie, you've been
telling yourself this littleprison, and we all do it.
And you had you had the key, youjust didn't know you had the
(31:12):
key.
And stepping out, somethingbrand new becomes possible in
all in all areas of your life.
And it's just been an incrediblejoy to watch you step out.
And so let's talk about some ofthe as your thinking started to
change, how did that start tochange the way you were showing
(31:33):
up in these parts of your life?
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (31:37):
So on this journey of interviewing all these
people, right?
And listening to podcasts, um, Ijust dove into while I had some
really great relationships thathad asked me, said, said, Hey
Bob, if you're going on yourown, we we can provide some work
for you.
And I had uh two companies saythat to me.
I said, Okay, well, that cankind of be my way to stay in the
(31:59):
field.
I love the work, I love thiswork, the talent field, the
assessment work, the coachingwork, the workshop, doing
workshops was a blast, and thencoaching individuals and groups
and on one-on-one.
But then I went, I was trying tofigure out okay, how do I start
this engine, right?
How do I keep the engine going?
And so I heard a couple ofthings early on.
(32:19):
Number one, I had a mantra thatI have been using for many, many
years.
It was no one ever drifted intoexcellence, and that's been my
mantra since I can remember.
I've never verbalized that waythat way until about the maybe
the last six or seven years.
But what does that mean?
I think you guys know.
Life is meant to be lived fully,and unless you are intentional
(32:45):
about living that life, you'rejust gonna live a mediocre life.
You're not you're gonna missthings, you're gonna things will
be right in front of you, andyou will miss it because you're
not living with purpose andintention.
So that's here's tool numbertwo.
SPEAKER_03 (32:58):
What's that?
Time number three.
SPEAKER_00 (33:01):
Ask yourself here, okay.
Now here's here's number three.
What is your purpose?
Why are you here?
I want you to wrestle with thatquestion.
I want you to hire a coach andwrestle with that question for a
little bit, because until youanswer that question clearly,
you are just gonna be a boat ina harbor or a boat in a storm
with no anchor, just gettingtossed to and fro, to and fro.
(33:24):
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (33:25):
And so I want to ask you something about that really
quick.
So, this question trips peopleup a lot, this idea of purpose.
And I think sometimes it can itcan send people flailing because
they feel like their purposeneeds to be like something huge,
like solving world hunger.
And if they're not doing that,it doesn't matter.
And so I want to hear what yousay about that.
SPEAKER_00 (33:48):
My per my purpose is to help other leaders, friends,
colleagues, family, friends livemore intentionally.
I I want people, instead of justrunning by the seat of your
pants or or reacting from anemotional state.
What if you just had a threeminutes of reflection time
around?
(34:09):
Okay, wait a minute.
I'm coming up on thisconversation.
What do I want to make sure Idon't say?
What I want to make sure I say,how much am I talking?
I probably need to shut up andlisten more, right?
So there's all these littlethings that are intentional.
You build these into your lifeso that it becomes natural.
Um, intentional parenting.
(34:30):
I didn't want to intend, Ididn't want to parent by the
seat of my pants.
Everybody says to me, Bob,there's no book on parenting.
Well, actually, there are prettysome pretty good books out there
on parenting.
And one of the best ones I everread was Key to Your Child's
Heart by Gary Smalley.
Way back, I think this is Iheard this book on Focus on the
Family.
And Gary Smalley, and by theway, James Dobson, whether you
(34:50):
like him or not, I I don't care.
He was a mentor to me.
He was not here, he didn't livehere, he lived in Colorado, but
I listened to him diligentlybecause that man was a was a
strong believer, he was in theword, and he was spot on with
regards to how the Bible is yourbest book for parenting and
marriage.
I'm sorry, I've read all thebooks.
(35:11):
There's a lot of great stuff ina lot of great books, but it's
not some of it's not that great.
But when you read the Bibleabout parenting and marriage and
relationship, that's what it'sthe whole thing's about.
And and it's consistent from theOld Testament to the New
Testament.
And uh anybody who says, Well,Bob, how could that that Bible,
here's another little tool foryou?
Okay, here's my 60-second spiel.
(35:32):
66 books written over 2,000years, written in three
different languages on threedifferent continents by over 40
different people from differentwalks of life.
You had priests and cupbearersand shepherds and farmers and uh
warriors and generals.
And yet, if you read it, if youreally open your mind and read
the front end of the back end,from Genesis to Revelation, what
(35:54):
does Genesis do?
Genesis is a love story.
Revelation is the movementtowards that um restoration of
the love story.
And if you read that front tocover, it's a consistent theme.
Jesus is the only perfectperson, right?
But people want to they have amindset or they have a bias, or
(36:15):
they oh, I've read bits andpieces of it.
It doesn't make sense.
Well, you can't read bits andpieces, you can't read and pick
and choose what you want tobelieve.
It either is or it isn't true.
So, um, I don't know.
I yeah, I got off, maybe I gotoff on that a little bit.
SPEAKER_03 (36:30):
You got excited, it's all good.
SPEAKER_00 (36:33):
I did, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (36:34):
No, don't be sorry, it's good.
There's so much incrediblewisdom in the Bible, and in most
of the books that you read, thegems that you find, they the
source was originally in theBible.
It's so true.
SPEAKER_00 (36:49):
Yeah, and so and that's what Gary Small, that's
where I was going.
The key to your child's heart.
What I read in that book wasthis analogy of a see an enemy.
And it was about how do I likeif I tick off my kid or I yell
or I scream, how do youreconcile?
Because what happens is overtime, and this is what we've
discovered with couples who aremarried and have kids, and we
did this too, is that we wouldyell at our kids, we'd do
(37:11):
something wrong, we offend ourkids, but we have too much pride
and ego to say we're sorry.
And even then we say you'resorry, but we don't go to the
next step.
The next step in defeating andovercoming the ego and pride is
asking for forgiveness.
Not just saying you're sorry,here's tool number whatever you
can call it, whatever.
When you wrong somebody and youknow you wrong them, how does a
(37:34):
see that see an enemy when itfeels danger, when it feels
unsafe, when it feelsthreatened, it closes up tight.
It will not open up again untilit feels safe.
And I'll never forget my sonwho's six years old, and I
yelled at him.
I yelled.
And look, I can yell, I'm atheater major, okay?
And I yelled, and he just curledup into a ball and ran to his
room and started crying.
And my wife looked at me and shegave me that look that all
(37:55):
husbands hate.
I I hate that look.
Stop it.
So it's the look of um, youscrewed up.
How are you gonna fix thisthing?
And so I had read in the book,how do I do this, Lord?
How do I how did how do the whatis the Lord asking of me?
He's asking for me to get on myknees, ask for forgiveness, say
I'm sorry, and repent, and say,I'm gonna be different.
(38:18):
So I went into the room, youknow, I was I was really
stubborn, and he's six yearsold, and he's curled up in a
corner in the under his bankbunk bed, and I said, Aaron, Dad
screwed up.
He's facing the wall, okay?
He's facing the wall.
I said, I said, Dad screwed up.
I shouldn't have yelled at you,that was wrong.
I am so sorry.
(38:38):
And I said, he didn't doanything until I said, Will you
forgive me?
Immediately he turned around andgave me a big hug.
He said, I love you, Dad.
I love you, Dad.
That's how that's the whole keythere is what can I do to make
(39:00):
sure my kids and my wife feelsafe?
This is in work today in thisworld, we feel less safe than
ever.
And who do you have in your lifewho makes you feel safe that you
can say anything to, and youknow it's not gonna go anywhere,
they're not gonna judge you, butthey're gonna really love you.
And they're gonna love youunconditionally.
I'll never forget one of thecoaches, one of the coaches that
(39:22):
I worked with way, way back saidto me, in my coach training,
frankly, said to me, Bob, youcan you can say anything to
anybody if you do it from aheart and an attitude that you
really care and you love thatperson.
And I went, Wow! Because there'ssome people that are really hard
to love.
But your words, your body is allgonna follow where your heart
(39:46):
and your attitude are.
Doesn't matter if you didn't sayanything, you we can still see
that you don't like me.
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (39:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, and in the the conflict,um, you know, conflict is gonna
happen, but one Of the mostimportant things is what happens
after that, and that's what youjust described.
SPEAKER_00 (40:06):
So we made it.
We said from now on, being sorryis not enough.
When you're ready, you know, ifyou wronged your brother, you
wronged your sister, you wrongedyour mother, when you're ready,
and it's we're we're not gonnaget anywhere until you have said
and looked them in the eye andsaid, I am really sorry.
I I did you wrong, I pushed youoff the deck, and will you
(40:31):
forgive me?
That was one of my sons he didthat to his sister, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (40:37):
So good.
So coming back to um ourjourney, are there any like key
pieces that stand up for youthat would give people uh a
snapshot of you know whatactually happened?
And yeah, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (40:59):
So so the first one was no one drifted into
excellence.
That was really even Pam and Iwill say, um, when you're
married, are you livingintentionally?
Are you living on purpose?
Do you know what's important toyou?
And I need you to, I would say,encourage you to figure that
out.
I did that way back in 1987 as Iwent through a workshop that
helped me design my mission andmy vision.
(41:19):
I pulled that out, I still haveit, and it listed all the things
that I wanted to do.
And I read this back to my wife.
I said, What do you think?
She goes, You live that.
That is you.
And I like a list of 27 thingsthat this isn't like a three,
this isn't a two-week orthree-month fix, folks.
We're not talking about a fix,we're talking about major
surgery.
If anybody knows about majorsurgery, I do.
(41:40):
I had quadruple heart bypass umuh five years ago, and I know
what that involves.
It's it's a total change on theinside, right?
So the second thing was I heardthis podcast, and it was um Tim
Schurer, I think, and he hadworked for Donald Miller, and
John A.
Kef was interviewing him.
And here's what stood out to mehere.
(42:00):
He said, Bob, and he didn't sayBob, but I heard Bob, right?
I heard Bob when he was talkingon the podcast.
What if success was all abouthelping the other person win?
I stopped that podcast, and I Ijust paused.
I was like, it was like you everhad a moment where the Lord just
(42:24):
fires an arrow through your souland you feel it everywhere?
That's what happened to me.
And that I said, you know what?
That's what I need to do.
I don't want to sell anybody, Idon't want to market to anybody,
I want to help other people win.
So, for example, when I didthese interviews, I would ask it
(42:48):
at the end, I said, Look, I wantto help you.
I want to help you win.
What can I do for you?
What kind of client are youlooking for?
What do you need to besuccessful?
Not it in my brain.
And I can tell you many timesI've referred people to other
people because I'm not the rightperson for you.
Because I knew that was a need,and that's how they wanted to
(43:09):
win.
Um, I'll give you the mostrecent example here.
I am in an association here, atownhome association.
I don't know if you know thisstory.
And uh we had an incident whereone of the owners in our
association over a year hadgotten to such a heightened
estate over something very sillyin the association that they
(43:29):
were both willing to go tocourt.
That means the association wouldbe spending association money to
go to court, and that uh the thehomeowner would be spending you
know a certain amount of moneyhaving to go to court.
And I'm like, this we weshouldn't be here.
So I talked to the homeowner andeven the associate, I said, how
good I want to help, I want tohelp you guys win.
(43:51):
And so they both invited me toarbitrate a meeting on a Sunday
afternoon, and they set aside,oh Bob, I don't know, I don't
know if this is gonna be enoughtime.
We got an hour and a half, but Ijust said we'll be okay.
Just trust me.
We'll see what happens.
I said, I'm gonna be so Ibrought my flip charts.
I brought my flip charts withme, and I said, Hey, when you're
(44:12):
both here, I said, you know, youhad the two association people
sitting on the one side, they'reboth very, very amazing people,
they both are very, very cool.
And and the owner is a very coolperson.
And I said, I want to help youfind a win-win, and I'm gonna
use some structure and a processto help you think through this.
I just took a coach approach tothe conversation.
Started writing down, I gavethem all a chance to kind of
share what their perspectiveswere.
(44:32):
I got that, I summarized it on apiece of on a big flip chart
paper, and I got it allsynthesized, and then we
brainstormed.
And within an hour and 15minutes, we came to an
agreement.
An hour and 15 minutes we cameto an agreement they were both
happy with.
And I got them to specific datestamp.
Uh it wasn't date stamped rightaway, it was stamped that within
(44:53):
a week they would have thisagreement and they would both
sign it.
And they did five major, theydid follow through.
They did follow through.
So, no more money spent, legalfees, plus we have to live with
each other.
I mean, you go to court withsomebody in your neighborhood
who's only it's only like a it'sa small association, you're
living like three houses fromthe people you just sued.
(45:14):
How's that gonna go for you forthe rest of your life?
Not gonna be fun.
So that was the second thing I'dsay was the big, the big hit.
And then the third thing you andI discussed, I would say was
another big arrow through thesoul, which was you said, Bob,
what if you made room for thenew?
(45:36):
What if you and we talked aboutthe wineskin because I had just
heard a sermon or something, andit was resonating.
This is how God shows up, right?
You would say something and itwould resonate, or I would say
something that would resonatewith something that we heard on
a in a sermon or we read in thescripture or we had in our quiet
time.
Um and it just resonated withwhat if uh what if you made room
(45:58):
for the new?
How how is it working that ifyou're doing the same old thing,
trying to do somethingdifferent?
And it wasn't.
I was trying to take new wineand put it into old wineskins.
That's another biblicalprinciple.
You can look that up.
Is that no new wine has to go ina new wineskin because what
happens with the skin is itstretches, and so when you put
(46:19):
the new wine in, it will breakand and tear and leak.
That's why every you know backthen had to go in a new
wineskin.
And so that was a okay.
I need to do some thingsdifferently.
I need to step out and take somerisks, I need to do some more
homework.
Um, I need to figure out myfocus and my niche and who my
audience is.
So that was that was uh youhelped me, you helped me with
(46:42):
that to unlock that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:44):
Well, and watching you, I mean, watching you step
out of that old survival modeland step into the new, and you
started changing your habitsaround money, and you started
like resisting the urge to haveto watch it every day, and you
started putting your attention,you know, like you're talking
about living intentionally.
You had this vision for yourbusiness and for your wife, you
(47:05):
and your wife and your lifestyleto really make this a go.
And you started aligningeverything to that, and your
actions started to follow that,and then all of a sudden, it's
like you, you, you, the all thework has come to you.
You've never had to go out andget it.
You can hear listening to Bobtalk, you're so incredibly
(47:26):
talented at what you do.
You have you naturally buildincredible relationships, and
like once you started to leaninto all of this, there was so
much more ease and joy in whatyou were doing, and you haven't
had to do any of those thingsthat you know compromised your
values to grow your business.
(47:47):
It's naturally aligned to whoyou are, and it's it's been
incredible to witness.
SPEAKER_00 (47:53):
You just said something that's critical
alignment.
When you are feeling stressed orangry or frustrated, it's like a
car.
Something's out of alignmentwhen you feel a little bit of a
turn or you feel a rougher ridebelow the floor of the car,
something's out of alignment.
Something isn't, it's allsupposed to be working together,
(48:13):
it's all supposed to be workingside by side.
Um, not out in front, notbehind, but all working in a
perfect alignment.
And my purpose and my beliefsand my faith and my values were
out of alignment at times in mywork.
And I wanted to get back inalignment.
And now that I'm in alignment,I'm a hundred percent.
(48:35):
Look, I'm not perfect, I'm notsaying perfect, 100% doesn't
mean perfect, but I'm 100% inalignment with where I'm going
and what I'm doing.
Right?
I mean, I think you would agreethis is you preach this every
day.
SPEAKER_03 (48:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
And it's it's so I mean, peoplethink they have to change who
they are.
I have clients say that all thetime.
Like, I I feel like I need to bedifferent, and it's not about
that.
It's actually about becomingmore of who you are and and
getting rid of all the crap thatcauses you to behave in ways
that are out of alignment foryou.
(49:08):
And when you start getting inalignment, there's more ease,
there's more flow, there's morepeace, there's more joy.
And it's just been a joy towatch you.
And um, and just see you come tolife.
Like even on this podcast.
I mean, you're talking aboutdoing your own podcast, Bob.
I'm seeing it like it's it'sright there, like you're a
(49:29):
natural.
SPEAKER_00 (49:31):
I know, I know.
People say, Bob, here's thethere was a major decision I
made when I got married.
This is my intentional.
I had been a fake Christian.
I had been living one lifeduring the week and one life on
the weekends.
And when I met my wife, she wasthe first one who was honest and
real with me, and she was thefirst one I had seen who really
(49:52):
walked her faith.
And I said, I want to be likeher.
She's my hero.
And I was in theater and I said,I'm gonna be an actor.
I started, I quit footballbecause I was a big baby when I
was uh a 10th grader, andinstead of playing 11th grade, I
just said I'm gonna do somethingelse.
I'll show you people.
So I went into theater and I wasvery successful, but I was all
(50:14):
full of myself.
It's really tough to be in thatarena and not be full of
yourself.
And so I went to college and Igot leads.
I had like seven or eight leadsout of 13 major productions in
my from like my junior year tomy second year in college.
And when I met my wife, the Lordsaid to me, You are not gonna be
(50:36):
in theater, that's not a lifefor you.
You will, you will ruin yourlife.
Your personality, you you won'tbe able to do it, and so I want
you to quit.
Wow.
And I went, I cried in my bed inmy dorm when I heard the Lord
say that.
But it was the he goes, Bob, ifyou just walk in obedience, I
(50:57):
will use what you have done forgood, for my glory.
And think about being fullypresent, attending to the
audience, understanding yoursurroundings, being fully
present in the moment, and notnothing else is getting in the
way, but you are in, you are allin the character, you are all in
(51:19):
life.
That, I mean, like what you'reseeing here, right?
Uh, you guys can't see me, butum my face is super expressive.
Yes, and uh, and I I talk withmy hands.
If you if you tape my handstogether, I explode.
But I I had this is what's cool.
God has given me so manyopportunities to use those
(51:41):
giftings that he drew out of mein my early theater years around
my presence and my just beingwith my kids or being all in,
turning my phone off when I'm atdinner with my kids or when
we're playing cards now that wehave family together.
Is we put all our phones, we sayin the basket.
It's in the basket.
We all want to be fully present.
That's what living in fullalignment is.
(52:03):
It's not just for a two year,three years or three months,
it's for life.
It's ongoing.
Like what's that little thingthey hang from the wall with a
little um oh it makes sure thewalls are straight.
You know, you hang it.
Oh, what's the word?
SPEAKER_03 (52:16):
I can't remember what it's like.
SPEAKER_00 (52:17):
A level, a level, a level, a level.
No, it's not it swings.
It swings, it's got a lead bowon it.
Oh shoot, I don't know.
Can't help you, but anyway, itit it it brings you back.
It brings you back.
Your purpose and what yourintentionality is the anchor to
your soul, so you can getrecalibrated.
(52:39):
You helped me, it was all there.
You said it, Bob.
It's all there, but you helpedme recalibrate and get back to
what was important and livingthat and being intent more
intentional about saying it andliving it and behaving in a and
holding me accountable.
Now, look, I'm not perfect.
Like I got up this morning, Iwent to pay bills because I got
up early, and my wife got up andsat on the couch because she
(53:00):
knows what you and I have talkedabout, and she said, Um, are you
doing are you doing your financestuff?
Caught you, and she didn't haveto say anything else.
I said, Well, we'll have extratime and oh, god darn it.
So, you know, yeah, she's good.
SPEAKER_03 (53:15):
Look, I'm not perfect, but we slip that's
right, we all slip back.
But then you have a choice.
SPEAKER_00 (53:21):
No, yep, I do.
I do have a choice.
How do I want to show up, right?
How do I show up in life?
How do I want to show up today?
Um, and you've said many times,how do you want to show up with
each of your clients?
How do you who do you want to bewhen you're with your client?
And just helping me verbalizethat.
That's that's one of the greatbenefits of a coach.
SPEAKER_03 (53:39):
So good, so good.
It has been such an honor tosupport you, my friend.
Such an honor.
Thank you.
I feel like I've been equallyimpacted by you.
Hey, make the coach cry.
It happens.
Um, I want you to share wherecan people find out about the
(54:00):
work that you're doing?
Um, anything you want to share?
Yeah, so they can see whatyou're up to.
SPEAKER_00 (54:05):
Yes.
Look, I I told my wife, by theway, one more thing I'll leave
you with.
I told I've told my wife thisprobably a dozen times over our
our marriage.
You know, like after 10 years,after 15, after 25, after 35,
after 40.
I even told it to her the otherday.
I said if I died today, I'd be ahappy man.
I would I would feel I gave iteverything I could and I stayed
(54:31):
the course.
Because Jesus said, Well, I wantJesus to say, Well done, good
and faithful servant, right?
That's what we all want to hear.
I want to hear the end.
And anybody who doesn't believein Jesus, look, if you think
that the world came byhappenstance, okay, and and then
you give me Jesus and you giveme that, if I have to pick, I'm
sorry.
(54:51):
I'm going with the Jesus thing,and I've got a better shot
because if I'm wrong, no bigdeal.
But no, if I'm wrong, but if I'mright, that's right.
Big payoff, okay?
W sorry, www.parsonscoachinglc.com is where you can get a
(55:11):
hold of me.
You can have a free discoverymeeting with me.
I'm not gonna charge you with uhfor that.
Just kind of if you just wantBob, I want to hear a little bit
more about this coaching thing.
Or you know, I've never had acoach before.
How does this work?
And I'm happy to talk to youabout that.
So www.parsons with an S.
P-A-R-S-O-N-S, coaching L L Call one word, all lowercase.com,
(55:34):
and you'll be able to reach methere.
That's probably the best way.
And also LinkedIn.
You can get me on LinkedIn, BobParsons.
Just look up Bob Parsons,executive coach, and that's a
that's a good way to get a holdof me too.
SPEAKER_03 (55:46):
Awesome.
Also, check out his shift 360.
If you're a leader and have ateam, this is incredible work
he's doing around the shift 360.
So check that out.
Bob, you're so great.
I just enjoy spending time withyou.
So fun.
I always laugh.
I think I always cry.
And I leave uh impacted.
(56:07):
Thank you.
And I know the people listeningare too.
Yeah, cool.
SPEAKER_00 (56:12):
Do it again, Carla.
SPEAKER_03 (56:14):
Have an amazing day, everyone.
SPEAKER_00 (56:18):
Bye-bye.
SPEAKER_03 (56:22):
Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the
end.
Before you move on with yourday, pause and capture one
thought or takeaway that stoodout to you.
Write it down so it doesn't getlost in the noise.
And if you're ready to godeeper, come join me in my free
monthly class.
Conversation and guided writingto help you see things
(56:45):
differently and move forwardwith clarity.
Save your spot, CarlaReaves.comforward slash rebound.
A deep change in the way that we live requires a deep
change in the way that we think.
I'm Carla Reeves, and this isDifferently.
Welcome back to Differently.
Today's episode is a clientspotlight.
I want you to meet my client BobParsons.
One of my favorite parts of myjob is having this unique window
(00:22):
into people's lives.
I felt the important theme ofour conversation today and Bob's
journey in coaching was choosingfreedom in the face of fear.
I think you will hear that againand again in Bob's stories.
This guy has impacted my life ina very short period of time.
His heart for God, his heart forhis wife and family, his heart
(00:45):
to serve, and his pursuit to dowhatever it takes to show up and
bring all he has to the momentat hand can't help but leave you
touched and inspired.
Get ready, we're going to covera lot of ground from being at a
crossroads and afraid to doingthe hard thing again and again.
(01:05):
Intentional marriage andparenting, getting free of his
own self-imposed limitations toexperience true freedom and
more.
Be on the lookout for all thelittle nuggets of wisdom he
makes sure to share with you.
You might grab a tissue.
This one gets real.
(01:26):
I have a special guest today.
And if you've been um followingthe podcast for a while, you can
go back.
I occasionally do a clientspotlight so that you can get a
kind of a glimpse behind themystery of coaching and what
actually happens in coaching.
And I today I have it's reallyan honor.
(01:47):
Um I get to share Bob Parsonswith you.
And so, Bob, welcome todifferently.
SPEAKER_00 (01:53):
Hey, thanks so much for having me.
This is a great privilege.
SPEAKER_03 (01:57):
Likewise.
So share with the listeners alittle bit about where you are
in the world and what season oflife you find yourself in.
Just paint a picture for us.
SPEAKER_00 (02:08):
That's a dangerous question to Bob Parsons.
My wife would say never give himthe microphone wide open.
Um so I'm gonna do my best.
So I have been in this field oftalent development, learning
development, um, coaching sincecow, can I I remember when I
first started in corporate uh inHR and training, and I just got
(02:31):
super curious, and I was askedby my boss to design a
leadership development program,and I had never done it.
And my boss said, I know you'venever done it, but I think you
can do it.
I went, Okay, well, that's kindof a cool mindset.
So I I bought a book, I I read,What's the best way to put
together a training developmentprogram?
(02:52):
So I read it, I followed it wasby by uh Bob Pike.
He wrote this back uh in the ithas to be in the late 80s, of
just a neat guy, and he reallyhelped me.
I mean, he nailed it for me, andit was a super easy practical
book.
But what was cool is I was doingan assessment and I was
gathering the data, and Ifigured out well, there need
(03:13):
there was a need for corecomponents for this journey.
So there was this thing calleduh uh what was it called?
Um counseling for performance.
And and when I read the thebehaviors and what people
needed, it sounded like whatpeople had been telling me was a
(03:35):
coaching uh type of a solution.
So I went on the hunt, I auditedsix different deals, and I found
this one.
And I'm can I give them kudos?
Is that okay?
Can I give them a yeah, ofcourse?
Okay, inside out development.
Um, they got me started on mycoaching journey.
And at the time I was kind of apseudo-HR slash talent slash uh
(03:56):
production trainer, and I knew Iwas missing something.
I was great 50% of the time, andthe other 50% of the time I was
a total idiot because I I reallywas kind of winging it.
I I knew I was missingsomething, but I couldn't
pinpoint it until I went to thiscoaching uh workshop, and it
was.
I had no structure, nointention, no purpose, no uh
purpose to my conversations.
(04:17):
I wasn't very planful, I wasdoing it by the seat of my
pants, I was running out ofideas, and when I found these
tools, it was like the heavensopened up, and I this was it,
this was the ticket.
So that's what kind of got mestarted on the coaching journey.
So I quit for a couple years, Iwent on my own, and that's when
I got my LLC.
(04:38):
And then I wanted to get coachtraining, and so I worked
part-time for a colleague friendof mine, he was my professor,
and uh so then once I I startedthat ball rolling, I got went
back into corporate as an ODmanager, and they and my I'll
never forget Diane, my boss.
She said, Bob, I want to bringyou in for your OD skills, but I
want you to introduce coachingto to the organization, and I
(05:03):
want you to coach as if you werebeing paid by each individual.
I will make sure you get clientsand customers, you just treat
them like a paid customer, andthat's right I started my
journey in terms of this wholecoaching deal.
I logged over 950 hours there.
I got to work with managers andthen senior directors and then
senior executives, and then Igot to work with the executive
(05:24):
team, and I got to do coachingto our high potential teams and
there and the individuals andthe people in the Thompson
School of Executive Leadershiptop 35.
I mean, just all these doorsopened up.
Wow.
And then um, yeah, it's justcrazy.
And then that kind of one thingled to another.
I left Thompson, I went to asmall executive coaching firm
(05:45):
for about six and a half yearsand helped develop their
executive coaching practice andstill was coaching and helping
out in that arena.
Then I thought, well, I reallymiss corporate, and I I was I
was ready for a next challenge,and so I went back into
corporate with um a large tiremanufacturer, and I got a lot of
great experience, but I knewsomething was off for me.
(06:08):
And so one thing led to I wasdoing coaching, I was coaching
high potentials, I was helpingwith leadership development, but
something was missing.
So I hired a coach, and I hiredone coach who really kind of
helped me with my uh kind of mycareer piece, right?
And then that's about as far asshe could take me, and then I
(06:28):
hired you, which really helpedme take the big leap and deal
with my mind traffic aroundbecause I was wrestling with do
I go back into corporate after30 some years, deal with the
same old stuff, or do I createmore freedom in my life, but I
had a lot of fear, and so that'show we got connected.
(06:50):
Well, how we got connected is adifferent story, but that is.
SPEAKER_03 (06:54):
Um, so before we talk about our journey together,
I also want you to just touch onyour personal life because I
know you have a personal lifethat and a marriage that lights
you up and is a huge part ofyour world.
So just briefly fill in thatcolor.
SPEAKER_00 (07:10):
Okay.
Alright, so uh listeners, justif I start crying, that's just
who I am.
I'm just very passionate aboutfamily.
And I got married.
Um, I met the woman of my dreamsum in a show.
I was doing, I was in theater, Iwas in a show, and um her
roommate told me, Hey, you gottameet this girl.
(07:32):
I know you guys will be perfectfor each other.
So I I saw her come down afterthe show, and I said, I'm gonna
marry her.
And I went, I had three friendswho were in the barbershop
quartet, and I went over to thembecause they were in the show
with me, and I said, Look, youguys, do me a favor.
I just met the girl I'm gonnamarry.
I just two songs.
That's all I asked.
Just let's do two songs.
(07:52):
And so we did Jonah and thewhale and Coney Island Baby, and
that's how I wooed her.
She thought I was weird, but shealso thought I was cute and fun.
SPEAKER_03 (08:01):
That is so awesome.
I didn't know that story.
SPEAKER_00 (08:05):
Yep, yeah, that's one of my faves.
And then, so we we dated threeyears, and then we got married,
and we said at the beginning, wewe want to be intentional
parents.
And a lot of us, you know,growing up, we all would say,
you know, our parents did thisgreat, but our parents didn't do
that great.
But you know, my parents wereactually did a great job for how
(08:27):
they were enabled, how they weretaught, and what they had
surrounding them, they actuallydid a pretty good job.
But I wanted to be moreintentional.
I wanted to be a moreintentional and I was a
believer, but I was I was kindof a not an all-body and
believer, you know, Christianand Jesus, believe in Jesus.
I was kind of walking, I waswalking, but I wasn't, um, I was
(08:48):
talking, but I wasn't doing thewalking.
And so when I met Pam, she wasthe first one who just really
called me out on my behavior andmy my hypocrisy.
And and so that Lord used her toget me straight.
And then we both said, we'regonna do this journey, and we're
gonna do it.
We don't have any mentors, bothof our parents were divorced
after 25 years.
We had nobody really kind of totell us how to do this, raising
(09:10):
kids and everything.
So we started reading books.
I started going to conferences,I'd I'd learn something, I'd
come home, I'd try it, and thenafter I tried at home, I'd try
it at work, and then I figuredout, man, if it works at home, I
know it's gonna work at workbecause we're all just babies
and big bodies, right?
And some of us are just moremature than others.
So that was a journey for Pamand I.
(09:31):
We we have just always beenlearners, and I've been same in
my business world.
I mean, when I I'm in a job, ifI'm in a job longer than two and
a half years, I just get theitchy trigger finger.
If my job hasn't changed or beenmolded to be about 30% different
or challenging to me, um, then II start to lose engagement.
And so I'm always reading, I'malways going to conferences, and
(09:53):
that's where we started toinfuse a coach approach to being
married and raising a family.
And I like I took my kids ondates and I'd ask them questions
because I had no clue how to bea dad, and I wanted to take them
out and make them feel special.
And the only way I knew that waswell, wait a minute, there's
this cool question book.
Oh, they talked about this onFocus on the Family.
(10:15):
Oh, I have a script I canfollow, right?
I'm in theater, so I have I havea guide, and it was amazing what
I heard from my kids when I justasked a question and shut up.
And I thought, wait a minute,this is coaching principles.
And then my wife, I mean, we'vebeen more we're gonna be married
(10:35):
41 years this weekend.
SPEAKER_03 (10:38):
Wow, happy anniversary.
SPEAKER_00 (10:41):
Well, I'm gonna say that the coach principles have a
lot to do with it because Ilearned how to listen better.
I'm not perfect, I'm still screwup, but I am way better, a
better listener to my wife, thanI was when I first got married.
And all you guys listening tothis know this is that um when
(11:02):
your wife gives you a problem,what what do you want to do?
You wanna, and I'll fill in theblank, you wanna fix it.
You're a doer, you're a fixer.
So I wanted to fix it all thetime.
And she would say to me, Again,guys, fill in the blank.
I don't want to be fixed.
I just want you to listen.
You know what they do, Carla?
Exactly.
(11:23):
Exactly.
So I said, okay.
So then I learned to ask thequestion.
I said, okay, wait a minute.
I don't know when that is, Ican't find that.
So I would say to her, Okay, doyou want me to listen?
Or do you want some ideas forhow to fix that?
And of course, when she said, Isaid, look, if you say listen,
I'm all in.
I'm a focused male, I'll takeout the listing box, I'll put it
(11:43):
on the desk, and I am totallyfocused on you.
So then one day we started gamechanger, game changer.
I hear things that my wife says,I'm paying attention to body
language, just like I would withclients.
I could hear things that weren'tbeing said, but I could hear
main messages.
And then my wife and I gotmarried and uh interested in
(12:04):
marriage ministry because we hadsuch a passion for couples who
are struggling, couples who justwanted help.
It's just like a leader.
Leaders just want help, theywant a safe place to unwind and
open up their brain and get iton the table without somebody
judging them or grabbingsomething and running with it
that they never intended forthem to do.
(12:25):
And it's the same with marriage.
Marriage is just trying tofigure out how do we talk to
each other, how do we treat eachother, how do we meet each
other's needs and biblicallybased, right?
If you look at coaching andmarriage, it's all biblically
based.
It's all the same.
Jesus asked Grace questions andhe listened and he paid
attention and he was in themoment.
And so we got into that, andthen the beauty, now we've been
doing this for almost 18 years,we've infused our uh our
(12:49):
marriage mentoring withcoaching.
And we've seen it's a lot lessstress for us, it's a lot more
fun, and we've seen marriagestransform in amazing ways.
SPEAKER_03 (13:01):
So awesome.
I and and just to Is that whatyou're looking for?
Is that what you're well?
Yeah, I just wanted people toget a sense.
Like you were so passionateabout these other parts of your
life, and like you can also hearthat a lot of your life is
working really well.
And I think even with coaching,sometimes we think like things
have to be falling apart to workwith a coach.
(13:22):
And a lot of times it's uh anincredible place when you have a
lot of things working and youwant to just expand or broaden
that or to you know bring itinto a new area of your life.
Um, anyway, so I wanted that,but also I want to just give the
listeners like a um like to letthem know that you're gonna come
back and we're gonna talk aboutmarriage and parenting could be
(13:44):
a fun one too, because you'reright.
The things that's one of myfavorite things about coaching
is that we might be coachingaround a business concept, but
those concepts you can take intoyour marriage, into your
parenting, into your everydayinteractions and apply them and
they can start to ripple allover your life.
I I love that.
(14:06):
So, okay, so back to yes, we metin kind of an interesting way,
and just I mean, I I don't thinkI don't even know if you were
really seeking a coach.
We just happened to be on thesame call and you thought I uh
we should connect and we did.
And then I I thought I was justanswering your questions about
really being a coach and anentrepreneur and having my own
(14:26):
coaching business.
And then at the end of thatcall, you asked me to be your
coach, and I was stunned.
I had no idea that was coming.
SPEAKER_00 (14:36):
That's how that's how God works, right?
Isn't that how amazing?
SPEAKER_03 (14:38):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (14:39):
I mean, uh by the way, I want to give your
listeners some really coolpractical tools while we're
talking, right?
So I want them to be able towalk away from this podcast and
say, wow, I could I can actuallydo that tomorrow.
So, guys, I'm giving you thatone tool.
If you're wrestling with yourtrying to fix your wife, number
one, she's it's not your job tofix her, okay?
Let God do that.
Number two, just this simplequestion, okay.
(15:02):
Do you want me to listen?
Or would you like me to sharesome ideas for how to fix that?
And then when she gives you theanswer, you go do because that's
what you're great at.
SPEAKER_03 (15:12):
100%.
What tip number one for toolnumber one, yes.
So, Bob, give people a sense ofwhere you were when you and I
started working together andwhat like really what you were
seeking to get out of coaching.
SPEAKER_00 (15:26):
Yeah, oh wow.
Um, I think I you and I were ona uh like a webinar, and I
thought I heard you ask a reallygreat question.
I went, now, the only person whocould ask a question like that
would be a great, well-trainedcoach.
So I said, I need to getconnected with her because I was
(15:48):
on this journey, Carla, that Ihad figured out it was gonna go
on my own, but I had I was I washad a lot of fear, and so I was
my my job was to interview atleast 40 people on my network
who are in a similar role thatyou are on their own, they've
been doing this for a while, andjust asking.
I bought a lot of coffee.
By the way, here's another tipnumber two people love free
(16:12):
stuff.
So if you're trying to getsomewhere and you know, figure
out who I can interview, who canI ask who's been on this journey
before to just get their wisdom?
And so I I mapped out like 12questions.
And if your listeners areinterested in this, I can I'm
happy to share that.
But I had 12 questions because Iwanted to know from them hey,
how did you get started?
(16:32):
Tell me about your journey.
Um, what what tools are youusing?
How are you pricing your serviceand your product?
Um, what else did I ask?
I asked, like, what's yourbiggest challenge and what is
getting in the way of you beingeven more successful?
And what does success look likefor you?
And I just bought them freecoffee.
If there was a virtual call, I'dsend them a Starbucks card.
(16:53):
If it was, you know, obviouslyif it was person to person,
which I love, I would just buythem coffee and they just loved
it.
They said, Oh my gosh, free cupof coffee, I'm all in.
So great.
So that's how I got connectedwith you.
And I just my intent was just tointerview you and ask about your
business.
And I think if correct, okay,again, I have a great memory,
it's just short, but um, if youremember something different,
(17:15):
please fill in the blank.
But I think I remember Iremember getting off the call
thinking I need a coach.
I didn't want to pay for acoach, I couldn't afford a coach
right then, but I need a coach.
And so, you know, after you andI connected a few times, I think
I did ask you, you know, prettyquickly, right?
Hey, would you be interested inbeing my coach?
Because I think you had thisunique approach.
(17:37):
I I in my soul I could sensethis strong, courageous, gentle
spirit.
That's the best way I candescribe you is this strong,
courageous who wasn't afraid toask the hard questions, but you
did it in what I would call acoach approach, which is a
loving way.
And so that's um that's how youand I got connected.
(17:58):
And then yeah, I was just that'sbeen a game changer ever since I
I I hired you.
SPEAKER_03 (18:04):
Well, I'm so glad our paths have crossed.
And yes, I think it was on thatside, it was after that second
call that we had, and he youwere, you were so prepared.
You had so many questions, andthen at the end, you kind of
mentioned like you weresomething about coaching, and I
I was so surprised and anddelighted.
It's been an incredible journey.
I um so you were you were youI'm trying to remember, you had
(18:26):
already left you left corporate,you were on your own as a coach,
and you were just like fearfuland a little trepidatious about
what to do next and where to goand what to focus on and all of
that.
SPEAKER_00 (18:37):
Yeah, and I just hired a yeah, I had I'm sorry, I
had hired a career coach, andwhat she helped me understand
was yes.
I mean, I was not going down thepath of being on my own.
I just said I'm not going on myown.
I said it for a long time.
I've been there, done that.
I don't want the headaches, Ididn't want the marketing, I
didn't want the selling, any ofthat.
(18:57):
And then God whacked me in theside of the head, and he said,
and I heard this very clearlywhen are you gonna stop trusting
the man and start trusting theman?
And that was the start of theend of my crutch on myself and
(19:22):
putting it out there, and Ithink I remember, yeah, I came
to you, then I said, I made thedecision, I was going on my own,
but I needed to figure it out,and I couldn't do it by myself.
I had too much mind traffic.
I'll call it mind traffic.
SPEAKER_03 (19:36):
Yeah, so we dove right into your thinking, right?
Which is the first place um wego because anytime you want to
make a a deep change in yourlife, you've got to examine your
thinking because it really isthe foundation.
And so would you be willing toshare some of the barriers that
(19:57):
or um components of yoursurvival?
Model that we discovered thatwere that we're getting in your
way.
SPEAKER_00 (20:05):
Okay, here we go.
For those of you who have this,or have these, these.
Number one was my survival wasmoney.
I I always said my biggest fearwas getting laid off again.
My first coach said to me, Bob,wait a minute, you've been laid
off three.
This is your third time.
(20:27):
You have kind of gone through avery similar experience with
regards to the transformation ofthe organization, going
centralized, decentralized, andnew new bosses, and new focus
and changing priorities.
And she said, So you so you wantto go back to that again?
And I said, I wanted to say yes.
(20:50):
But I I couldn't.
I just I knew God was sayingyou, I'm gonna release your
grips.
I'm gonna help you release yourgrips.
You haven't released them.
You know, it's it's it's likeyou stay with something just
because it's comfortable becauseit's so hard to change.
(21:11):
And sometimes God's gonna kickyou in the rear end literally
and whack you aside the head tosay, All right, I tried to warn
you, I tried to tell you, nowwe're gonna do it my way.
And that's the um that was theone thing.
Like every morning I get up, Ipay my bills.
Every morning, you and I talkedabout this.
I'd go do my checking accountbefore I do my quiet time, and
(21:32):
then I was rushing my quiettime, and I'm going, no, I
don't, I don't want this.
So that was that was one of mysurvival modes, and I think the
other one was control, some typeof a like a control of over
planning.
I think is that does that soundright?
I mean, if I could word itright.
SPEAKER_03 (21:49):
Yeah, I think there was an overing because there was
this idea that maybe I'm notgonna measure up or it's I'm not
gonna make it, right?
So when we have a doubt,sometimes we over over-prepare,
over-give, over-deliver.
SPEAKER_00 (22:04):
Yeah.
I would, yeah, I think I I rekept your little book, by the
way.
SPEAKER_03 (22:09):
Uh uh, I'm glad.
It's a book of coachingreminders that he's showing in
video, but you can't see.
Um, well, I want to go back tothe moment you just landed on
because I so appreciate you uhbeing so honest about that.
And I think that like when I sawyour emotion or felt your
(22:30):
emotion, I feel my own emotion.
And I think people listening canfeel that.
It's like that moment that youit's that choice point of like,
do I stay safe and shrink and dowhat I've always done, which
feels safe and comfortable, ordo I stretch and do this scary
thing without knowing what'sgonna happen?
And I I think that every time Itake that leap, there's
(22:54):
something amazing that I didn'texpect on the other side, but it
it does require a lot ofcourage.
SPEAKER_00 (23:03):
Yeah, you wrote this really well.
I you put this in words that I Icouldn't.
I had never heard of survivalmode before, by the way, until I
had met you.
And I'm survival mode, what isthat?
Like, and I just got this imageof my nose just above the water,
constantly above the water.
(23:23):
And that's no fun to try andstay alive with your nose just
above the water because you'restill taking in water and you're
flailing like crazy.
But you said here, withoutconsciously realizing it, you
designed a way to navigate yourworld world in order to survive
what was happening around you.
It shaped your behaviors and howyou showed up in the world.
You decided that certain thingswere so and labeled them as
(23:46):
truth.
Yeah, yep.
This model became the defaultfor how you move through life.
When living in this model, youfeel like you are surviving with
a constant pull to do more, bebetter, prove, and overcome
something from the past.
That was you nailed it on thesurvival mode.
And that that came out aftersome discussions that you and I
(24:06):
had that I again didn't knowwhat that was, but once you
verbalized that and helped drawit out of me, uh was like super
clear around, oh my gosh, I'mtrying to control my environment
so that so that I don't get laidoff, so that my kids will be
great, so that my marriage willbe awesome.
I I it was a control, kind of acontrol freaky issue.
SPEAKER_03 (24:29):
Yeah.
It's you know, it's for mostpeople, you know, and for people
listening, you can start to looklike for most people, we are
living to prove or overcome orsurvive something.
And why I love this work so muchis that there's a way to live to
build something or to createsomething, and that's really
(24:53):
aligned with who you are in yoursoul.
And when you can get free ofthat old model, you can start to
live to create and live to buildand live to align with what it
is you're here to do.
And it just removes all thatresistance, it removes a ton of
stress and pressure and load.
And I think I saw you lightenyourself up, and then you could
(25:16):
start to lean into who younaturally are.
SPEAKER_00 (25:21):
When I realized that and I let go, I let I literally
let go.
And I said, Okay, Lord, I'vetold you this, I've shared this
with you.
Here's my two fish and my fiveloaves.
I am not the miracle worker, youare, and if you can get me
business, you will be themiracle worker.
SPEAKER_03 (25:39):
So share with people who may not be familiar with the
biblical reference there whatthat means.
SPEAKER_00 (25:46):
Yeah, so in the Bible, Jesus, you know, the
feeding of the 5,000, right?
And so in one of the instances,he did it twice.
And one of the instances hesaid, Hey, tell me what you
have.
You know, there were 5,000 pluspeople there.
Actually, they were justcounting the men.
So if you think about the womenand the children, there were
probably more like, you know,10,000 being fed.
(26:06):
And they had gathered up whatwas in the crowd, and it was two
fish and five loaves, andthey're all looking, Jesus,
you're nuts.
I don't know what we're gonna dohere because we don't we got to
send these people home.
And Jesus said, You go feedthem, right?
So he sent them out into thecrowd, and there were 12 baskets
full left over.
The Lord provided.
(26:27):
They were faithful, they had togo out and go there going, uh,
okay, who's gonna take thisfish?
Who's gonna take that fish?
I'll be each of us get you knowa half a loaf or whatever, and
they had to go out and befaithful and actually go do.
They had to take action offaith, thinking, all right, he's
gonna do something, I guess.
And and then they saw thisoverpouring of blessing to
(26:51):
people who were also in need.
So not only did he strengthenthe faith of the his disciples,
he was showing up in a mightyway to people in a crowd, 10,000
people who had a need.
And it wasn't the disciples, itwas the Lord.
The Lord did the work.
(27:11):
I went through Stephen ministrytraining, and I'll never forget
one of the things that reallyresonated with me was they said
to us, You are not thecaregiver.
You are the caregiver.
You're not the caregiver.
Let the Lord do that.
The Lord, let the Lord do thework.
You don't have to carry thatburden, but you walk along with
them.
That's kind of what coaching is.
You're walking along withanother person on their journey,
(27:33):
listening, helping them process,helping them think through,
think through, and in a safe,non-judgmental, loving.
I'm gonna use the word love herebecause you don't hear that very
often in corporate.
A loving way to help people moveforward.
SPEAKER_03 (27:48):
Yeah, it's amazing what happens when you feel seen,
heard, and deeply listened to,right?
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
So that's my two fish and five love story.
SPEAKER_03 (27:59):
Yeah, so you apply that in the sense of like, I'm
gonna bring what I can bring tothe table and trust that God's
gonna work through me to do therest, and that takes, I imagine,
a whole bunch of pressure off.
SPEAKER_00 (28:11):
My wife said, after you and I started meeting, and I
started to get into the the new,right?
You and I talked about the new.
SPEAKER_02 (28:22):
Being like a new mod.
SPEAKER_00 (28:23):
I have my bob.
My my wife said to me, I have mybob back.
SPEAKER_03 (28:28):
Uh Wow.
You hadn't told me that.
So good.
It's crazy what the mind.
Yeah, go ahead.
SPEAKER_00 (28:45):
That was a powerful statement because I realized how
long I had felt like I wastrapped in my own prison.
It wasn't anybody that didanything to me.
And I knew that I had put thesetruths, and this survival model
was my prison.
(29:06):
And I felt like I had just beengiven the key for me to walk out
of that cell.
Yeah, you know, but I didn'ttake it for so long.
And so now I just I was sleepingbetter.
I was I was living, I wasspending more intentional time
with my wife.
(29:26):
I had I was working half thehours.
Now, again, if you're working 60hours, I was working 30.
I was up at 6 a.m.
I was working until 10 o'clocksometimes.
I was I was a global supportperson, so I was working with
you know 42 countries, and alsowhen I took a vacation, I could
never relax.
(29:47):
I was always thinking about, ohmy gosh, I'm gonna have 100
emails or 150 emails.
So I was doing emails onvacation, and my wife hated
that.
And so now I said, you help me,you help me get back to my
foundation, which was I hadalways believed that God first,
my wife, and my kids, andfamily, and then my work.
(30:11):
That's the party.
But I was living out of whackwith what I believed was
important to me.
I was making and living in a waythat made my job more important
than anything else, and it wastaking over.
So I I felt like I gotta get outof free, get out of jail free
card.
SPEAKER_03 (30:28):
I love that.
Well, and when you're living outof whack with your values and
your nature and your, you know,there's a huge impact of stress
and sometimes physical, youknow, disease or illness when
we're living out of alignmentwith that.
And the thing about this is isthat we as humans are so much
(30:50):
closer to what we want, like itcan feel so far away, but like
you sharing your story, you cansee that you know, getting this
realizing that you've beenliving in this lie, you've been
telling yourself this littleprison, and we all do it.
And you had you had the key, youjust didn't know you had the
(31:12):
key.
And stepping out, somethingbrand new becomes possible in
all in all areas of your life.
And it's just been an incrediblejoy to watch you step out.
And so let's talk about some ofthe as your thinking started to
change, how did that start tochange the way you were showing
(31:33):
up in these parts of your life?
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (31:37):
So on this journey of interviewing all these
people, right?
And listening to podcasts, um, Ijust dove into while I had some
really great relationships thathad asked me, said, said, Hey
Bob, if you're going on yourown, we we can provide some work
for you.
And I had uh two companies saythat to me.
I said, Okay, well, that cankind of be my way to stay in the
(31:59):
field.
I love the work, I love thiswork, the talent field, the
assessment work, the coachingwork, the workshop, doing
workshops was a blast, and thencoaching individuals and groups
and on one-on-one.
But then I went, I was trying tofigure out okay, how do I start
this engine, right?
How do I keep the engine going?
And so I heard a couple ofthings early on.
(32:19):
Number one, I had a mantra thatI have been using for many, many
years.
It was no one ever drifted intoexcellence, and that's been my
mantra since I can remember.
I've never verbalized that waythat way until about the maybe
the last six or seven years.
But what does that mean?
I think you guys know.
Life is meant to be lived fully,and unless you are intentional
(32:45):
about living that life, you'rejust gonna live a mediocre life.
You're not you're gonna missthings, you're gonna things will
be right in front of you, andyou will miss it because you're
not living with purpose andintention.
So that's here's tool numbertwo.
SPEAKER_03 (32:58):
What's that?
Time number three.
SPEAKER_00 (33:01):
Ask yourself here, okay.
Now here's here's number three.
What is your purpose?
Why are you here?
I want you to wrestle with thatquestion.
I want you to hire a coach andwrestle with that question for a
little bit, because until youanswer that question clearly,
you are just gonna be a boat ina harbor or a boat in a storm
with no anchor, just gettingtossed to and fro, to and fro.
(33:24):
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (33:25):
And so I want to ask you something about that really
quick.
So, this question trips peopleup a lot, this idea of purpose.
And I think sometimes it can itcan send people flailing because
they feel like their purposeneeds to be like something huge,
like solving world hunger.
And if they're not doing that,it doesn't matter.
And so I want to hear what yousay about that.
SPEAKER_00 (33:48):
My per my purpose is to help other leaders, friends,
colleagues, family, friends livemore intentionally.
I I want people, instead of justrunning by the seat of your
pants or or reacting from anemotional state.
What if you just had a threeminutes of reflection time
around?
(34:09):
Okay, wait a minute.
I'm coming up on thisconversation.
What do I want to make sure Idon't say?
What I want to make sure I say,how much am I talking?
I probably need to shut up andlisten more, right?
So there's all these littlethings that are intentional.
You build these into your lifeso that it becomes natural.
Um, intentional parenting.
(34:30):
I didn't want to intend, Ididn't want to parent by the
seat of my pants.
Everybody says to me, Bob,there's no book on parenting.
Well, actually, there are prettysome pretty good books out there
on parenting.
And one of the best ones I everread was Key to Your Child's
Heart by Gary Smalley.
Way back, I think this is Iheard this book on Focus on the
Family.
And Gary Smalley, and by theway, James Dobson, whether you
(34:50):
like him or not, I I don't care.
He was a mentor to me.
He was not here, he didn't livehere, he lived in Colorado, but
I listened to him diligentlybecause that man was a was a
strong believer, he was in theword, and he was spot on with
regards to how the Bible is yourbest book for parenting and
marriage.
I'm sorry, I've read all thebooks.
(35:11):
There's a lot of great stuff ina lot of great books, but it's
not some of it's not that great.
But when you read the Bibleabout parenting and marriage and
relationship, that's what it'sthe whole thing's about.
And and it's consistent from theOld Testament to the New
Testament.
And uh anybody who says, Well,Bob, how could that that Bible,
here's another little tool foryou?
Okay, here's my 60-second spiel.
(35:32):
66 books written over 2,000years, written in three
different languages on threedifferent continents by over 40
different people from differentwalks of life.
You had priests and cupbearersand shepherds and farmers and uh
warriors and generals.
And yet, if you read it, if youreally open your mind and read
the front end of the back end,from Genesis to Revelation, what
(35:54):
does Genesis do?
Genesis is a love story.
Revelation is the movementtowards that um restoration of
the love story.
And if you read that front tocover, it's a consistent theme.
Jesus is the only perfectperson, right?
But people want to they have amindset or they have a bias, or
(36:15):
they oh, I've read bits andpieces of it.
It doesn't make sense.
Well, you can't read bits andpieces, you can't read and pick
and choose what you want tobelieve.
It either is or it isn't true.
So, um, I don't know.
I yeah, I got off, maybe I gotoff on that a little bit.
SPEAKER_03 (36:30):
You got excited, it's all good.
SPEAKER_00 (36:33):
I did, I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_03 (36:34):
No, don't be sorry, it's good.
There's so much incrediblewisdom in the Bible, and in most
of the books that you read, thegems that you find, they the
source was originally in theBible.
It's so true.
SPEAKER_00 (36:49):
Yeah, and so and that's what Gary Small, that's
where I was going.
The key to your child's heart.
What I read in that book wasthis analogy of a see an enemy.
And it was about how do I likeif I tick off my kid or I yell
or I scream, how do youreconcile?
Because what happens is overtime, and this is what we've
discovered with couples who aremarried and have kids, and we
did this too, is that we wouldyell at our kids, we'd do
(37:11):
something wrong, we offend ourkids, but we have too much pride
and ego to say we're sorry.
And even then we say you'resorry, but we don't go to the
next step.
The next step in defeating andovercoming the ego and pride is
asking for forgiveness.
Not just saying you're sorry,here's tool number whatever you
can call it, whatever.
When you wrong somebody and youknow you wrong them, how does a
(37:34):
see that see an enemy when itfeels danger, when it feels
unsafe, when it feelsthreatened, it closes up tight.
It will not open up again untilit feels safe.
And I'll never forget my sonwho's six years old, and I
yelled at him.
I yelled.
And look, I can yell, I'm atheater major, okay?
And I yelled, and he just curledup into a ball and ran to his
room and started crying.
And my wife looked at me and shegave me that look that all
(37:55):
husbands hate.
I I hate that look.
Stop it.
So it's the look of um, youscrewed up.
How are you gonna fix thisthing?
And so I had read in the book,how do I do this, Lord?
How do I how did how do the whatis the Lord asking of me?
He's asking for me to get on myknees, ask for forgiveness, say
I'm sorry, and repent, and say,I'm gonna be different.
(38:18):
So I went into the room, youknow, I was I was really
stubborn, and he's six yearsold, and he's curled up in a
corner in the under his bankbunk bed, and I said, Aaron, Dad
screwed up.
He's facing the wall, okay?
He's facing the wall.
I said, I said, Dad screwed up.
I shouldn't have yelled at you,that was wrong.
I am so sorry.
(38:38):
And I said, he didn't doanything until I said, Will you
forgive me?
Immediately he turned around andgave me a big hug.
He said, I love you, Dad.
I love you, Dad.
That's how that's the whole keythere is what can I do to make
(39:00):
sure my kids and my wife feelsafe?
This is in work today in thisworld, we feel less safe than
ever.
And who do you have in your lifewho makes you feel safe that you
can say anything to, and youknow it's not gonna go anywhere,
they're not gonna judge you, butthey're gonna really love you.
And they're gonna love youunconditionally.
I'll never forget one of thecoaches, one of the coaches that
(39:22):
I worked with way, way back saidto me, in my coach training,
frankly, said to me, Bob, youcan you can say anything to
anybody if you do it from aheart and an attitude that you
really care and you love thatperson.
And I went, Wow! Because there'ssome people that are really hard
to love.
But your words, your body is allgonna follow where your heart
(39:46):
and your attitude are.
Doesn't matter if you didn't sayanything, you we can still see
that you don't like me.
Right?
SPEAKER_03 (39:52):
Yeah, yeah.
Well, and in the the conflict,um, you know, conflict is gonna
happen, but one Of the mostimportant things is what happens
after that, and that's what youjust described.
SPEAKER_00 (40:06):
So we made it.
We said from now on, being sorryis not enough.
When you're ready, you know, ifyou wronged your brother, you
wronged your sister, you wrongedyour mother, when you're ready,
and it's we're we're not gonnaget anywhere until you have said
and looked them in the eye andsaid, I am really sorry.
I I did you wrong, I pushed youoff the deck, and will you
(40:31):
forgive me?
That was one of my sons he didthat to his sister, yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (40:37):
So good.
So coming back to um ourjourney, are there any like key
pieces that stand up for youthat would give people uh a
snapshot of you know whatactually happened?
And yeah, yes.
SPEAKER_00 (40:59):
So so the first one was no one drifted into
excellence.
That was really even Pam and Iwill say, um, when you're
married, are you livingintentionally?
Are you living on purpose?
Do you know what's important toyou?
And I need you to, I would say,encourage you to figure that
out.
I did that way back in 1987 as Iwent through a workshop that
helped me design my mission andmy vision.
(41:19):
I pulled that out, I still haveit, and it listed all the things
that I wanted to do.
And I read this back to my wife.
I said, What do you think?
She goes, You live that.
That is you.
And I like a list of 27 thingsthat this isn't like a three,
this isn't a two-week orthree-month fix, folks.
We're not talking about a fix,we're talking about major
surgery.
If anybody knows about majorsurgery, I do.
(41:40):
I had quadruple heart bypass umuh five years ago, and I know
what that involves.
It's it's a total change on theinside, right?
So the second thing was I heardthis podcast, and it was um Tim
Schurer, I think, and he hadworked for Donald Miller, and
John A.
Kef was interviewing him.
And here's what stood out to mehere.
(42:00):
He said, Bob, and he didn't sayBob, but I heard Bob, right?
I heard Bob when he was talkingon the podcast.
What if success was all abouthelping the other person win?
I stopped that podcast, and I Ijust paused.
I was like, it was like you everhad a moment where the Lord just
(42:24):
fires an arrow through your souland you feel it everywhere?
That's what happened to me.
And that I said, you know what?
That's what I need to do.
I don't want to sell anybody, Idon't want to market to anybody,
I want to help other people win.
So, for example, when I didthese interviews, I would ask it
(42:48):
at the end, I said, Look, I wantto help you.
I want to help you win.
What can I do for you?
What kind of client are youlooking for?
What do you need to besuccessful?
Not it in my brain.
And I can tell you many timesI've referred people to other
people because I'm not the rightperson for you.
Because I knew that was a need,and that's how they wanted to
(43:09):
win.
Um, I'll give you the mostrecent example here.
I am in an association here, atownhome association.
I don't know if you know thisstory.
And uh we had an incident whereone of the owners in our
association over a year hadgotten to such a heightened
estate over something very sillyin the association that they
(43:29):
were both willing to go tocourt.
That means the association wouldbe spending association money to
go to court, and that uh the thehomeowner would be spending you
know a certain amount of moneyhaving to go to court.
And I'm like, this we weshouldn't be here.
So I talked to the homeowner andeven the associate, I said, how
good I want to help, I want tohelp you guys win.
(43:51):
And so they both invited me toarbitrate a meeting on a Sunday
afternoon, and they set aside,oh Bob, I don't know, I don't
know if this is gonna be enoughtime.
We got an hour and a half, but Ijust said we'll be okay.
Just trust me.
We'll see what happens.
I said, I'm gonna be so Ibrought my flip charts.
I brought my flip charts withme, and I said, Hey, when you're
(44:12):
both here, I said, you know, youhad the two association people
sitting on the one side, they'reboth very, very amazing people,
they both are very, very cool.
And and the owner is a very coolperson.
And I said, I want to help youfind a win-win, and I'm gonna
use some structure and a processto help you think through this.
I just took a coach approach tothe conversation.
Started writing down, I gavethem all a chance to kind of
share what their perspectiveswere.
(44:32):
I got that, I summarized it on apiece of on a big flip chart
paper, and I got it allsynthesized, and then we
brainstormed.
And within an hour and 15minutes, we came to an
agreement.
An hour and 15 minutes we cameto an agreement they were both
happy with.
And I got them to specific datestamp.
Uh it wasn't date stamped rightaway, it was stamped that within
(44:53):
a week they would have thisagreement and they would both
sign it.
And they did five major, theydid follow through.
They did follow through.
So, no more money spent, legalfees, plus we have to live with
each other.
I mean, you go to court withsomebody in your neighborhood
who's only it's only like a it'sa small association, you're
living like three houses fromthe people you just sued.
(45:14):
How's that gonna go for you forthe rest of your life?
Not gonna be fun.
So that was the second thing I'dsay was the big, the big hit.
And then the third thing you andI discussed, I would say was
another big arrow through thesoul, which was you said, Bob,
what if you made room for thenew?
(45:36):
What if you and we talked aboutthe wineskin because I had just
heard a sermon or something, andit was resonating.
This is how God shows up, right?
You would say something and itwould resonate, or I would say
something that would resonatewith something that we heard on
a in a sermon or we read in thescripture or we had in our quiet
time.
Um and it just resonated withwhat if uh what if you made room
(45:58):
for the new?
How how is it working that ifyou're doing the same old thing,
trying to do somethingdifferent?
And it wasn't.
I was trying to take new wineand put it into old wineskins.
That's another biblicalprinciple.
You can look that up.
Is that no new wine has to go ina new wineskin because what
happens with the skin is itstretches, and so when you put
(46:19):
the new wine in, it will breakand and tear and leak.
That's why every you know backthen had to go in a new
wineskin.
And so that was a okay.
I need to do some thingsdifferently.
I need to step out and take somerisks, I need to do some more
homework.
Um, I need to figure out myfocus and my niche and who my
audience is.
So that was that was uh youhelped me, you helped me with
(46:42):
that to unlock that.
SPEAKER_03 (46:44):
Well, and watching you, I mean, watching you step
out of that old survival modeland step into the new, and you
started changing your habitsaround money, and you started
like resisting the urge to haveto watch it every day, and you
started putting your attention,you know, like you're talking
about living intentionally.
You had this vision for yourbusiness and for your wife, you
(47:05):
and your wife and your lifestyleto really make this a go.
And you started aligningeverything to that, and your
actions started to follow that,and then all of a sudden, it's
like you, you, you, the all thework has come to you.
You've never had to go out andget it.
You can hear listening to Bobtalk, you're so incredibly
(47:26):
talented at what you do.
You have you naturally buildincredible relationships, and
like once you started to leaninto all of this, there was so
much more ease and joy in whatyou were doing, and you haven't
had to do any of those thingsthat you know compromised your
values to grow your business.
(47:47):
It's naturally aligned to whoyou are, and it's it's been
incredible to witness.
SPEAKER_00 (47:53):
You just said something that's critical
alignment.
When you are feeling stressed orangry or frustrated, it's like a
car.
Something's out of alignmentwhen you feel a little bit of a
turn or you feel a rougher ridebelow the floor of the car,
something's out of alignment.
Something isn't, it's allsupposed to be working together,
(48:13):
it's all supposed to be workingside by side.
Um, not out in front, notbehind, but all working in a
perfect alignment.
And my purpose and my beliefsand my faith and my values were
out of alignment at times in mywork.
And I wanted to get back inalignment.
And now that I'm in alignment,I'm a hundred percent.
(48:35):
Look, I'm not perfect, I'm notsaying perfect, 100% doesn't
mean perfect, but I'm 100% inalignment with where I'm going
and what I'm doing.
Right?
I mean, I think you would agreethis is you preach this every
day.
SPEAKER_03 (48:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
And it's it's so I mean, peoplethink they have to change who
they are.
I have clients say that all thetime.
Like, I I feel like I need to bedifferent, and it's not about
that.
It's actually about becomingmore of who you are and and
getting rid of all the crap thatcauses you to behave in ways
that are out of alignment foryou.
(49:08):
And when you start getting inalignment, there's more ease,
there's more flow, there's morepeace, there's more joy.
And it's just been a joy towatch you.
And um, and just see you come tolife.
Like even on this podcast.
I mean, you're talking aboutdoing your own podcast, Bob.
I'm seeing it like it's it'sright there, like you're a
(49:29):
natural.
SPEAKER_00 (49:31):
I know, I know.
People say, Bob, here's thethere was a major decision I
made when I got married.
This is my intentional.
I had been a fake Christian.
I had been living one lifeduring the week and one life on
the weekends.
And when I met my wife, she wasthe first one who was honest and
real with me, and she was thefirst one I had seen who really
(49:52):
walked her faith.
And I said, I want to be likeher.
She's my hero.
And I was in theater and I said,I'm gonna be an actor.
I started, I quit footballbecause I was a big baby when I
was uh a 10th grader, andinstead of playing 11th grade, I
just said I'm gonna do somethingelse.
I'll show you people.
So I went into theater and I wasvery successful, but I was all
(50:14):
full of myself.
It's really tough to be in thatarena and not be full of
yourself.
And so I went to college and Igot leads.
I had like seven or eight leadsout of 13 major productions in
my from like my junior year tomy second year in college.
And when I met my wife, the Lordsaid to me, You are not gonna be
(50:36):
in theater, that's not a lifefor you.
You will, you will ruin yourlife.
Your personality, you you won'tbe able to do it, and so I want
you to quit.
Wow.
And I went, I cried in my bed inmy dorm when I heard the Lord
say that.
But it was the he goes, Bob, ifyou just walk in obedience, I
(50:57):
will use what you have done forgood, for my glory.
And think about being fullypresent, attending to the
audience, understanding yoursurroundings, being fully
present in the moment, and notnothing else is getting in the
way, but you are in, you are allin the character, you are all in
(51:19):
life.
That, I mean, like what you'reseeing here, right?
Uh, you guys can't see me, butum my face is super expressive.
Yes, and uh, and I I talk withmy hands.
If you if you tape my handstogether, I explode.
But I I had this is what's cool.
God has given me so manyopportunities to use those
(51:41):
giftings that he drew out of mein my early theater years around
my presence and my just beingwith my kids or being all in,
turning my phone off when I'm atdinner with my kids or when
we're playing cards now that wehave family together.
Is we put all our phones, we sayin the basket.
It's in the basket.
We all want to be fully present.
That's what living in fullalignment is.
(52:03):
It's not just for a two year,three years or three months,
it's for life.
It's ongoing.
Like what's that little thingthey hang from the wall with a
little um oh it makes sure thewalls are straight.
You know, you hang it.
Oh, what's the word?
SPEAKER_03 (52:16):
I can't remember what it's like.
SPEAKER_00 (52:17):
A level, a level, a level, a level.
No, it's not it swings.
It swings, it's got a lead bowon it.
Oh shoot, I don't know.
Can't help you, but anyway, itit it it brings you back.
It brings you back.
Your purpose and what yourintentionality is the anchor to
your soul, so you can getrecalibrated.
(52:39):
You helped me, it was all there.
You said it, Bob.
It's all there, but you helpedme recalibrate and get back to
what was important and livingthat and being intent more
intentional about saying it andliving it and behaving in a and
holding me accountable.
Now, look, I'm not perfect.
Like I got up this morning, Iwent to pay bills because I got
up early, and my wife got up andsat on the couch because she
(53:00):
knows what you and I have talkedabout, and she said, Um, are you
doing are you doing your financestuff?
Caught you, and she didn't haveto say anything else.
I said, Well, we'll have extratime and oh, god darn it.
So, you know, yeah, she's good.
SPEAKER_03 (53:15):
Look, I'm not perfect, but we slip that's
right, we all slip back.
But then you have a choice.
SPEAKER_00 (53:21):
No, yep, I do.
I do have a choice.
How do I want to show up, right?
How do I show up in life?
How do I want to show up today?
Um, and you've said many times,how do you want to show up with
each of your clients?
How do you who do you want to bewhen you're with your client?
And just helping me verbalizethat.
That's that's one of the greatbenefits of a coach.
SPEAKER_03 (53:39):
So good, so good.
It has been such an honor tosupport you, my friend.
Such an honor.
Thank you.
I feel like I've been equallyimpacted by you.
Hey, make the coach cry.
It happens.
Um, I want you to share wherecan people find out about the
(54:00):
work that you're doing?
Um, anything you want to share?
Yeah, so they can see whatyou're up to.
SPEAKER_00 (54:05):
Yes.
Look, I I told my wife, by theway, one more thing I'll leave
you with.
I told I've told my wife thisprobably a dozen times over our
our marriage.
You know, like after 10 years,after 15, after 25, after 35,
after 40.
I even told it to her the otherday.
I said if I died today, I'd be ahappy man.
I would I would feel I gave iteverything I could and I stayed
(54:31):
the course.
Because Jesus said, Well, I wantJesus to say, Well done, good
and faithful servant, right?
That's what we all want to hear.
I want to hear the end.
And anybody who doesn't believein Jesus, look, if you think
that the world came byhappenstance, okay, and and then
you give me Jesus and you giveme that, if I have to pick, I'm
sorry.
(54:51):
I'm going with the Jesus thing,and I've got a better shot
because if I'm wrong, no bigdeal.
But no, if I'm wrong, but if I'mright, that's right.
Big payoff, okay?
W sorry, www.parsonscoachinglc.com is where you can get a
(55:11):
hold of me.
You can have a free discoverymeeting with me.
I'm not gonna charge you with uhfor that.
Just kind of if you just wantBob, I want to hear a little bit
more about this coaching thing.
Or you know, I've never had acoach before.
How does this work?
And I'm happy to talk to youabout that.
So www.parsons with an S.
P-A-R-S-O-N-S, coaching L L Call one word, all lowercase.com,
(55:34):
and you'll be able to reach methere.
That's probably the best way.
And also LinkedIn.
You can get me on LinkedIn, BobParsons.
Just look up Bob Parsons,executive coach, and that's a
that's a good way to get a holdof me too.
SPEAKER_03 (55:46):
Awesome.
Also, check out his shift 360.
If you're a leader and have ateam, this is incredible work
he's doing around the shift 360.
So check that out.
Bob, you're so great.
I just enjoy spending time withyou.
So fun.
I always laugh.
I think I always cry.
And I leave uh impacted.
(56:07):
Thank you.
And I know the people listeningare too.
Yeah, cool.
SPEAKER_00 (56:12):
Do it again, Carla.
SPEAKER_03 (56:14):
Have an amazing day, everyone.
SPEAKER_00 (56:18):
Bye-bye.
SPEAKER_03 (56:22):
Hey, thanks for listening all the way to the
end.
Before you move on with yourday, pause and capture one
thought or takeaway that stoodout to you.
Write it down so it doesn't getlost in the noise.
And if you're ready to godeeper, come join me in my free
monthly class.
Conversation and guided writingto help you see things
(56:45):
differently and move forwardwith clarity.
Save your spot, CarlaReaves.comforward slash rebound.
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