March 24, 2025 • 17 mins
Final Episode of Season 1! Next season will be serialized. What happens when a hapless medical school graduate gets an internship at the intergalactic teaching hospital 'St. Tetanus Medical Center?' (Starting April 7th!)
As for today's story. Well, the wedding didn't go as planned. Maybe the reception will be better? Tune in and find out.
Our Sponsor for today is St. Tetanus Medical Center.
Enjoy!
Sound Effects by freesound_community from Pixabay
Music:
"Skinny Food Fighters Blues 85" by Won Jong Hwa from Pixabay
Music: “Hope Piano” Music by Sergei Chetvertnykh from Pixabay
“Classical Music – Eternal Serenade” by Tech Oasis from Pixabay
Check out Jimmy at the Internet Explorer's Podcast!
Bonus content available at www.patreon.com/DiscountStorytime
My contact information:
email: mail@discountstorytime
Or click the link in the show notes to send me a message!
Thanks!
Coffee
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Content.
Warning for profanity, alcoholuse and adult themes.
This is Coffee McCann, andwelcome to the season finale of
Season 1 of Discount Storytime.
Today's story is SomethingYellow, Something Blue, Part 2.
(00:23):
And so this is Part 2 of 2.
And our sponsor happens to beSt Tetanus Medical Center.
Enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
We at St Tetanus Medical Center believe in
innovation, especially visionarypractices to increase revenue.
That's why St Tetanus MedicalCenter believe in innovation,
especially visionary practicesto increase revenue.
That's why St Tetanus MedicalCenter is the first hospital in
the Scamverse to implementgroundbreaking use of
coin-operated wheelchairs, foleycatheters, home oxygen
(01:02):
equipment and pacemakers homeoxygen equipment and pacemakers.
We at St Tetanus Medical Centerwill continue to make change
for you.
Really, we now have a coinmachine by the main entrance.
St Tetanus Medical Center.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Of all the things we spread, kindness is first To
recap part one of SomethingYellow, something Blue.
It was Penny and Dale's weddingday and unfortunately their
minister had fallen ill, but hiscolleague, reverend Jax, was
able to step in.
The ceremony was attended byfriends such as the spidery gal
(01:46):
doll and the hound-like frumpin,as well as family and two
elderly wedding crashers ingreen dresses.
All seemed to go well untilReverend Jacks asked which deity
this ceremony was under.
For the first time, the brideand groom discovered they
(02:06):
worship different goddesses.
The ceremony spun out ofcontrol and ended.
Now it's time for the reception.
Something Yellow, somethingBlue.
(02:32):
Part 2 of 2, the Reception.
The reception hall was acrossthe street from and nearly as
old as the cathedral.
Unlike the cathedral, thereception hall had been recently
updated to accommodate modernguests.
Large windows, which used toshow the beautifully manicured
gardens, were bricked over andcovered with screens showing
(02:55):
advertisements.
Tall rafters, which once heldantique crystal chandeliers, now
held commercial blastingspeakers.
The hand-painted wood flooringwas now covered with bright
orange shag carpet.
Considerably fewer weddingguests bothered to cross the
(03:15):
street and attend the reception.
Those that trickled in formedseparate clusters.
Every group eyed other groupswith disdain.
The spidery Galdol stood at theappetizer table loading a small
plate when the basset-houndishFrumpin waddled up and said it
(03:36):
horrified my goddess to know Iassociated with you.
The Galdol didn't even botherwith eye contact.
Kiss my ass, jerk, don't bothersitting next to me.
My goddess doesn't want yourfleas.
I hope you choke.
The Frumpin knocked over theGaldol's plate with his tail
(03:58):
before walking off.
There was only one small tablefar in the back corner with the
sounds of laughter.
The short and tall old ladiesdrank Meyerberry wine, chatted
and giggled loudly.
The wedding guests mutteredsourly.
Clearly they are no goodwedding crashers.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Shameful the way they are carrying on the goddess
would not allow that.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
The goddess should smite them both.
Time for the wedding-party.
Entrance came and guests wererelieved to get this over with
table of honor.
Next, the groomsmen sulked inand sat.
The ring-bearer and flower-girl, now forbidden from attending,
were at home getting parentallectures on how the goddess
would torture their eternalsouls for so much as saying
hello to someone different, muchless befriending them.
Dale's fathers, instead ofattending the reception, spent
(05:08):
their afternoon anywhere else.
Penny's mother also refused toattend.
The father of the bride onlyshowed up.
To mitigate any more lostprofit.
He successfully auctioned offthe untouched wedding cake.
Unfortunately, he found thecake smothered in bird droppings
(05:29):
.
He looked up at the rafters tofind the heathen birdfolk of
Astrid Minor glaring down at him.
Next, eyes and faces red, theyseparately walked to the dance
floor as their song Forever,unbreakable Love Forever played.
(05:56):
Instead of dancing, they stoodglaring at each other until the
song ended.
Traditionally, the bride andgroom sat next to each other at
the table of honor, but givencurrent circumstances they took
seats at separate ends.
The father of the bride gavethe first speech as he stood.
The tipsy old lady weddingcrashers in the back cheered hey
(06:18):
you old biddies, that wineyou're sucking on down there
isn't free.
You're guzzling away my profits.
I'll have you know the bluegoddess would be ashamed.
My precious daughter justmarried that guy.
Everyone is to eat and drink aslittle as possible.
(06:40):
I can still make some profitfrom this uneaten food and wine.
Also, we are skipping cuttingof the cake, but we are selling
slices for three dollars each.
Ignore the white splotches.
What a waste of a day.
He threw down the microphoneand stormed out.
(07:00):
Next came the best man's speech.
Joey Blazertoff of Planet Nimbo, still in cut-off denim shorts
and a Boner for Bridesmaidst-shirt, sauntered to the
microphone, coughed and clearedsome mucus from his nose.
I'd do each of you bridesmaidseven at the same time, if you uh
(07:24):
ask me.
He let out a fart and sat down.
The tall wedding crasherlaughed.
You'll tire yourself out, bobbyshe called and took a drink.
Joey almost fell off his chair.
How did she know my childhoodnickname, he asked himself.
(07:45):
The maid of honor walked to thepodium, careful not to swing
her arms or look upwards.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
For the maid of honor speech, I will read the first
chapter of my new fan fictionbook, team Ragtag Adventures.
Book Three, the HornyChronicles.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Clearing her throat and putting on thick reading
glasses, she began.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Chapter One In the dark of night, Lava Hawk could
feel her panties dripping as sheread.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
The guests' reaction ranged from covering their ears
to retching, but Joey Blazertoffmade low moaning sounds.
He and the tall wedding crasherwere the only ones that
applauded.
The reception came to amerciful close and the guests
walked out without a word.
The best man and maid of honorsnuck under the table of honor,
(08:40):
which was now shaking.
Penny and Dale sat at eitherend.
They needed to talk and puttingit off would not make it any
better.
They walked to the middle ofthe hall.
Penny spoke first.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I'm sorry your papas didn't come to the reception.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I'm sorry your papas didn't come to the reception.
I'm sorry your dad did.
He looked at her and, for thefirst time since the ceremony,
cracked a smile.
Penny smiled back.
Please tell me you won't eatany of that cake.
Her smile turned to tears andher chin quivered.
I love you, I really do.
(09:31):
But, dale, this is serious.
Not only did I talk to you, Ifreaking married.
No offense.
I can't imagine the BlueGoddess will ever forgive such a
thing.
Dale nodded.
I know it's the same on my side.
The yellow goddess does nottolerate worshippers of the blue
(09:53):
goddess.
What would she say now?
A sozzled brim hat with abulbous nose broke in.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
That it was a lovely wedding, until you two turned
into a couple of nincompoops.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Penny and Dale looked over at the two wedding
crashers still at their table,motioning them over.
They took a seat with the twoelderly and now much more tipsy
women.
Elderly and now much more tipsywomen.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Penny said the reception is over, you can go
home now.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I'm sorry, it's been such a mess.
You both look really uh, can I?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
call you a cab.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
The short wedding crasher hiccuped.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
No dear, but thank you.
We've had a lovely timecatching up, Indeed, and it
looks like we aren't the onlyones getting along.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
The tall Wedding Crasher laughed and pointed to
the rocking table of honor.
Dale's patience wore thin.
This is serious, my goddess.
Would never, would, never,would, never.
What young man?
The short wedding crasherlifted the brim of her hat and
(11:13):
showed two eyes burning withyellow flames.
The tall wedding crasher leanedforward and showed eyes made of
blue mist.
Penny and Dale froze.
The blue goddess spoke first.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
We have our differences, and a few very
fundamental ones, but we knowhow to respect each other and we
both love a good wedding andMeyerberry wine said the yellow
goddess true cheers they tinkledtheir glasses and sipped.
(11:53):
Then the blue goddess said andwe also care about how mortals
treat each other dale, with legsshaking, asked but of the two
of you, which one is right?
The yellow goddess fielded thisone dear young man, the
universe is too large to careabout which one you think is
(12:18):
right.
I say you should care moreabout how dreadfully you're
acting towards your bride.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
The blue goddess turned to Penny.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
And you?
Is this how you imagined acting?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
on your wedding day, penny's chin quivered.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Of course not.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I've been horrible, but now, what are Dale and I?
After a moment, the bluegoddess smiled kindly.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You are young and in love.
You are newlyweds who shouldenjoy this time, isn't that
enough?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
The yellow goddess reached out and patted Dale's
hand.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Go, enjoy your honeymoon and don't worry about
your families.
They're being ninnies, but theywill figure it out or they
won't.
You have each other.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
now she turned to the blue goddess.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I suppose we should go.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
The blue goddess began gathering her purse and
cane.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Okay, but I want to stop by the bookstore for that
horny Chronicles book.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
That's it.
Don't you put memory-erasingspells on us or something.
What if we say you were here?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
asked Dale on us or something.
What if we say you were here,asked Dale, please do Tell the
world.
The yellow goddess and bluegoddess crashed your wedding and
got drunk.
I'd love to see what happens.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
The blue goddess winked Stop it, you're terrible.
The yellow goddess laughed.
She tipped her drink to them.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
To young love, ta-ta-ta.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
The goddesses turned into silver mist and disappeared
.
Penny and Dale laughed andwiped away tears.
He put his spindly arms aroundher and they kissed A proper
wedding kiss this time.
From outside, a trickle ofexploding turtles began falling
(14:32):
from the sky.
Well, gang, that's the end ofseason one.
(14:57):
So season two, again, it's goingto start on April 7th.
So there will not be an episodenext week and it will be
serialized, and it's going totell the story of a hapless
medical school graduate whowinds up as an intern at the
Galactic Teaching Hospital, StTetnus, or stories that you
(15:21):
would like to see incorporatedinto season two.
Please either click on the linkin the show notes or drop me an
email at mail atdiscountstorytimecom.
Also, I am still on Blue Skyand Mastodon.
You can follow me there and Ipost each day mostly each day
(15:46):
discount ideas.
I'll keep that going for alittle bit and then we'll start
doing updates once we get intoSeason 2.
Thank you all so much for yoursupport and for listening to
these ridiculous stories.
I hope you enjoy what's comingup and until two weeks, be sure
to play nice with others, besuper duper kind to yourself and
(16:10):
, as always, remember to laugh.
Bye, Thank you.
Content.
Warning for profanity, alcoholuse and adult themes.
This is Coffee McCann, andwelcome to the season finale of
Season 1 of Discount Storytime.
Today's story is SomethingYellow, Something Blue, Part 2.
(00:23):
And so this is Part 2 of 2.
And our sponsor happens to beSt Tetanus Medical Center.
Enjoy.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
We at St Tetanus Medical Center believe in
innovation, especially visionarypractices to increase revenue.
That's why St Tetanus MedicalCenter believe in innovation,
especially visionary practicesto increase revenue.
That's why St Tetanus MedicalCenter is the first hospital in
the Scamverse to implementgroundbreaking use of
coin-operated wheelchairs, foleycatheters, home oxygen
(01:02):
equipment and pacemakers homeoxygen equipment and pacemakers.
We at St Tetanus Medical Centerwill continue to make change
for you.
Really, we now have a coinmachine by the main entrance.
St Tetanus Medical Center.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Of all the things we spread, kindness is first To
recap part one of SomethingYellow, something Blue.
It was Penny and Dale's weddingday and unfortunately their
minister had fallen ill, but hiscolleague, reverend Jax, was
able to step in.
The ceremony was attended byfriends such as the spidery gal
(01:46):
doll and the hound-like frumpin,as well as family and two
elderly wedding crashers ingreen dresses.
All seemed to go well untilReverend Jacks asked which deity
this ceremony was under.
For the first time, the brideand groom discovered they
(02:06):
worship different goddesses.
The ceremony spun out ofcontrol and ended.
Now it's time for the reception.
Something Yellow, somethingBlue.
(02:32):
Part 2 of 2, the Reception.
The reception hall was acrossthe street from and nearly as
old as the cathedral.
Unlike the cathedral, thereception hall had been recently
updated to accommodate modernguests.
Large windows, which used toshow the beautifully manicured
gardens, were bricked over andcovered with screens showing
(02:55):
advertisements.
Tall rafters, which once heldantique crystal chandeliers, now
held commercial blastingspeakers.
The hand-painted wood flooringwas now covered with bright
orange shag carpet.
Considerably fewer weddingguests bothered to cross the
(03:15):
street and attend the reception.
Those that trickled in formedseparate clusters.
Every group eyed other groupswith disdain.
The spidery Galdol stood at theappetizer table loading a small
plate when the basset-houndishFrumpin waddled up and said it
(03:36):
horrified my goddess to know Iassociated with you.
The Galdol didn't even botherwith eye contact.
Kiss my ass, jerk, don't bothersitting next to me.
My goddess doesn't want yourfleas.
I hope you choke.
The Frumpin knocked over theGaldol's plate with his tail
(03:58):
before walking off.
There was only one small tablefar in the back corner with the
sounds of laughter.
The short and tall old ladiesdrank Meyerberry wine, chatted
and giggled loudly.
The wedding guests mutteredsourly.
Clearly they are no goodwedding crashers.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Shameful the way they are carrying on the goddess
would not allow that.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
The goddess should smite them both.
Time for the wedding-party.
Entrance came and guests wererelieved to get this over with
table of honor.
Next, the groomsmen sulked inand sat.
The ring-bearer and flower-girl, now forbidden from attending,
were at home getting parentallectures on how the goddess
would torture their eternalsouls for so much as saying
hello to someone different, muchless befriending them.
Dale's fathers, instead ofattending the reception, spent
(05:08):
their afternoon anywhere else.
Penny's mother also refused toattend.
The father of the bride onlyshowed up.
To mitigate any more lostprofit.
He successfully auctioned offthe untouched wedding cake.
Unfortunately, he found thecake smothered in bird droppings
(05:29):
.
He looked up at the rafters tofind the heathen birdfolk of
Astrid Minor glaring down at him.
Next, eyes and faces red, theyseparately walked to the dance
floor as their song Forever,unbreakable Love Forever played.
(05:56):
Instead of dancing, they stoodglaring at each other until the
song ended.
Traditionally, the bride andgroom sat next to each other at
the table of honor, but givencurrent circumstances they took
seats at separate ends.
The father of the bride gavethe first speech as he stood.
The tipsy old lady weddingcrashers in the back cheered hey
(06:18):
you old biddies, that wineyou're sucking on down there
isn't free.
You're guzzling away my profits.
I'll have you know the bluegoddess would be ashamed.
My precious daughter justmarried that guy.
Everyone is to eat and drink aslittle as possible.
(06:40):
I can still make some profitfrom this uneaten food and wine.
Also, we are skipping cuttingof the cake, but we are selling
slices for three dollars each.
Ignore the white splotches.
What a waste of a day.
He threw down the microphoneand stormed out.
(07:00):
Next came the best man's speech.
Joey Blazertoff of Planet Nimbo, still in cut-off denim shorts
and a Boner for Bridesmaidst-shirt, sauntered to the
microphone, coughed and clearedsome mucus from his nose.
I'd do each of you bridesmaidseven at the same time, if you uh
(07:24):
ask me.
He let out a fart and sat down.
The tall wedding crasherlaughed.
You'll tire yourself out, bobbyshe called and took a drink.
Joey almost fell off his chair.
How did she know my childhoodnickname, he asked himself.
(07:45):
The maid of honor walked to thepodium, careful not to swing
her arms or look upwards.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
For the maid of honor speech, I will read the first
chapter of my new fan fictionbook, team Ragtag Adventures.
Book Three, the HornyChronicles.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Clearing her throat and putting on thick reading
glasses, she began.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Chapter One In the dark of night, Lava Hawk could
feel her panties dripping as sheread.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
The guests' reaction ranged from covering their ears
to retching, but Joey Blazertoffmade low moaning sounds.
He and the tall wedding crasherwere the only ones that
applauded.
The reception came to amerciful close and the guests
walked out without a word.
The best man and maid of honorsnuck under the table of honor,
(08:40):
which was now shaking.
Penny and Dale sat at eitherend.
They needed to talk and puttingit off would not make it any
better.
They walked to the middle ofthe hall.
Penny spoke first.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I'm sorry your papas didn't come to the reception.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
I'm sorry your papas didn't come to the reception.
I'm sorry your dad did.
He looked at her and, for thefirst time since the ceremony,
cracked a smile.
Penny smiled back.
Please tell me you won't eatany of that cake.
Her smile turned to tears andher chin quivered.
I love you, I really do.
(09:31):
But, dale, this is serious.
Not only did I talk to you, Ifreaking married.
No offense.
I can't imagine the BlueGoddess will ever forgive such a
thing.
Dale nodded.
I know it's the same on my side.
The yellow goddess does nottolerate worshippers of the blue
(09:53):
goddess.
What would she say now?
A sozzled brim hat with abulbous nose broke in.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
That it was a lovely wedding, until you two turned
into a couple of nincompoops.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Penny and Dale looked over at the two wedding
crashers still at their table,motioning them over.
They took a seat with the twoelderly and now much more tipsy
women.
Elderly and now much more tipsywomen.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Penny said the reception is over, you can go
home now.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I'm sorry, it's been such a mess.
You both look really uh, can I?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
call you a cab.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
The short wedding crasher hiccuped.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
No dear, but thank you.
We've had a lovely timecatching up, Indeed, and it
looks like we aren't the onlyones getting along.
Speaker 1 (10:53):
The tall Wedding Crasher laughed and pointed to
the rocking table of honor.
Dale's patience wore thin.
This is serious, my goddess.
Would never, would, never,would, never.
What young man?
The short wedding crasherlifted the brim of her hat and
(11:13):
showed two eyes burning withyellow flames.
The tall wedding crasher leanedforward and showed eyes made of
blue mist.
Penny and Dale froze.
The blue goddess spoke first.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
We have our differences, and a few very
fundamental ones, but we knowhow to respect each other and we
both love a good wedding andMeyerberry wine said the yellow
goddess true cheers they tinkledtheir glasses and sipped.
(11:53):
Then the blue goddess said andwe also care about how mortals
treat each other dale, with legsshaking, asked but of the two
of you, which one is right?
The yellow goddess fielded thisone dear young man, the
universe is too large to careabout which one you think is
(12:18):
right.
I say you should care moreabout how dreadfully you're
acting towards your bride.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
The blue goddess turned to Penny.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
And you?
Is this how you imagined acting?
Speaker 1 (12:33):
on your wedding day, penny's chin quivered.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Of course not.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
I've been horrible, but now, what are Dale and I?
After a moment, the bluegoddess smiled kindly.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
You are young and in love.
You are newlyweds who shouldenjoy this time, isn't that
enough?
Speaker 1 (12:59):
The yellow goddess reached out and patted Dale's
hand.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Go, enjoy your honeymoon and don't worry about
your families.
They're being ninnies, but theywill figure it out or they
won't.
You have each other.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
now she turned to the blue goddess.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
I suppose we should go.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
The blue goddess began gathering her purse and
cane.
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Okay, but I want to stop by the bookstore for that
horny Chronicles book.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
That's it.
Don't you put memory-erasingspells on us or something.
What if we say you were here?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
asked Dale on us or something.
What if we say you were here,asked Dale, please do Tell the
world.
The yellow goddess and bluegoddess crashed your wedding and
got drunk.
I'd love to see what happens.
Speaker 1 (13:56):
The blue goddess winked Stop it, you're terrible.
The yellow goddess laughed.
She tipped her drink to them.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
To young love, ta-ta-ta.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
The goddesses turned into silver mist and disappeared
.
Penny and Dale laughed andwiped away tears.
He put his spindly arms aroundher and they kissed A proper
wedding kiss this time.
From outside, a trickle ofexploding turtles began falling
(14:32):
from the sky.
Well, gang, that's the end ofseason one.
(14:57):
So season two, again, it's goingto start on April 7th.
So there will not be an episodenext week and it will be
serialized, and it's going totell the story of a hapless
medical school graduate whowinds up as an intern at the
Galactic Teaching Hospital, StTetnus, or stories that you
(15:21):
would like to see incorporatedinto season two.
Please either click on the linkin the show notes or drop me an
email at mail atdiscountstorytimecom.
Also, I am still on Blue Skyand Mastodon.
You can follow me there and Ipost each day mostly each day
(15:46):
discount ideas.
I'll keep that going for alittle bit and then we'll start
doing updates once we get intoSeason 2.
Thank you all so much for yoursupport and for listening to
these ridiculous stories.
I hope you enjoy what's comingup and until two weeks, be sure
to play nice with others, besuper duper kind to yourself and
(16:10):
, as always, remember to laugh.
Bye, Thank you.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.