November 19, 2025 • 8 mins
In professional circles, it is common to think that working towards betterment is a good thing. But what If that’s actually what is holding us back from our true growth?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
I'm your host, Olivier, and this is the Do
Happy Work Podcast, where welook at work in a different,
more natural, and more peacefulway.
How often do you catch yourselftrying to get better?
To be a better version ofyourself at work, in
relationships, as a leader, orsimply as a human being.
(00:21):
We spent so much of our livestrying to improve, to optimize,
to upgrade our minds, ourbodies, our habits, it's become
almost second nature.
This quiet belief that who weare right now isn't quite
enough, that we need to fix,refine, and improve ourselves
(00:42):
before we're allowed to feelproud, happy, or at peace.
And yet, what if this whole ideaof betterment, this obsession
with self-improvement isactually what's keeping us
stuck?
What if the very thingpreventing our growth, our peace
and our joy was just that, thisobsession with betterment?
(01:04):
The idea that we have to becomebetter rests on a strange
assumption.
That we were born incomplete,that we arrived in this world
somehow lacking, and now we mustspend the rest of our lives
earning our worth, workingtowards betterment, to become a
better person, a more completeand fulfilled person.
(01:26):
Most of us were taught thisearly on.
Parents, teachers, bosses, allkinds of conditioning.
And all of these told us thatbeing young or inexperienced
meant being unfinished,incomplete, that our job was to
climb the ladder, fill ourbucket, make ourselves valuable.
(01:49):
And so we enter the worldbelieving that life is a
competition, a race to the top,a contest for validation, but it
really just leads to a race tothe bottom.
And here's the problem.
When you believe you're broken,every effort to get better only
deepens the wound.
(02:09):
You start from a place ofincompletion.
You're incomplete.
You start in weakness.
Think about it.
If I tell myself I need tobecome better, I'm also saying
I'm not good enough right now.
That I'm somehow flawed,inadequate, or behind.
(02:30):
And that belief quietly eatsaway at our confidence, our
creativity, and our sense ofself.
It makes it impossible to havetrue introspection because we
think there's nothing to see inthere.
And then we look outward in thehope to find things we can grasp
(02:50):
and pull inside of ourselves.
It keeps us chasing a futureversion of ourselves that never
arrives, because by the time weget there, we have already moved
the goalpost.
This is how so many of us end upexhausted, burned out, and
quietly disappointed.
We've achieved the titles, themoney, the house, maybe, but
(03:13):
peace still out of reach.
Because we've been taught to seepeace as something that comes
after betterment, not before it.
Remember, I always say happinessis self-created.
It is a reality in which weexist, in which we show up.
It's not something that we wakeup to find because that would
(03:34):
mean that we're broken, unhappypeople, and nothing comes to
those.
Nature, on the other hand,doesn't operate that way.
A seed doesn't strive to becomea tree because it hates being
small.
It doesn't wake up in themorning thinking, oh no, I'm not
tall enough yet.
I'm lesser than.
(03:55):
It just grows.
Naturally, in rhythm, guided bysomething inside of it.
The caterpillar doesn't crawlbecause it's ashamed of not
being a butterfly.
It transforms because that'swhat it's meant to do.
It follows its inner code, not avision board, not a five-year
plan.
(04:15):
Its transformation isn't aboutbetterment, it's about
alignment.
It's about fulfilling its natureand by doing so, fulfilling its
present and then also itsfuture.
But when humans chasebetterment, what we're often
chasing is not truth.
It's approval.
We've confused growth withperformance.
(04:36):
And so we measure ourselvesconstantly.
Am I doing enough?
Am I good enough?
Am I better than yesterday?
Will I be better tomorrow?
And with every question likethat, we drift a little further
away from the present moment.
The only place where real changecan happen.
(04:56):
The truth is, when we think weneed to improve, we immediately
disconnect from our power.
We start looking outsideourselves for methods, for
hacks, for validation.
But peace and fulfillment nevercome from outside.
They come from being fullypresent, from honoring who you
are now, not who you think youneed to become.
(05:18):
So what if you stop trying toget better?
What if today you started askinginstead, how can I be more
honest with myself?
How can I be more aware of who Ialready am?
How can I be more loving towardthe person I'm right now, not
the one I hope to becomesomeday?
How can I embrace that person Iam today and with it everything
(05:43):
I've done in the past?
Because here's the truth (05:45):
you're not incomplete, you are not
broken, you're not behind.
Everything you will ever becomeis already in you.
But that will only come out ofyou.
It will only get chiseled out ofyou if you see yourself as
complete today already, ashaving all of that inside of
you.
You're evolving exactly the wayyou were meant to.
(06:08):
Every chapter of your life hasbeen necessary.
Every mistake, every detour,every heartbreak, even.
All of it was essential to yourbecoming.
The point isn't to fix yourstory, it's to understand it, to
meet it with compassion andcuriosity, to really look.
When we do that, somethingshifts.
(06:28):
We stop fighting a reality.
We stop rejecting the gift.
We start unwrapping it.
And when we unwrap the gift, weuse the gift.
We stop comparing ourselves toothers, and we stop postponing
happiness for a future that maynever come.
Because let's be real.
That's exactly what mighthappen.
(06:50):
And suddenly we find ourselvesback in the present moment.
The only place where joy,creativity, and peace actually
live.
You see, growth isn't aboutchasing something out there,
it's about expanding in here.
When you accept yourself as youare today, right now, you create
space.
Space, the creation of space iswhat growth is all about.
(07:11):
Like the caterpillar, yourtransformation will come when
it's time, not through force,but through surrender, through
flow.
And when it comes, it will feelless like striving and more like
flowing.
So maybe it's time to releasethis pressure to be better.
To stop chasing butterflies andstart being a grateful
caterpillar.
(07:31):
To stop measuring your worth inprogress and start honoring it
in presence.
Don't compare today to tomorrowor to yesterday.
See it as what it is today.
100%.
Give 100% today, not 110% ofyesterday.
The real work is not betterment,it's remembrance, it's coming
(07:52):
back home to yourself.
And from that place, every kindof growth becomes possible.
Not because you forced it, butbecause you finally allowed it.
So as you move through yourweek, try this simple shift.
Instead of asking how can I bebetter, ask how can I be more
myself.
Because that's where truetransformation begins.
(08:14):
Don't strive for perfection.
Honor your perfection as italready is.
I'm your host, Olivier, and this is the Do
Happy Work Podcast, where welook at work in a different,
more natural, and more peacefulway.
How often do you catch yourselftrying to get better?
To be a better version ofyourself at work, in
relationships, as a leader, orsimply as a human being.
(00:21):
We spent so much of our livestrying to improve, to optimize,
to upgrade our minds, ourbodies, our habits, it's become
almost second nature.
This quiet belief that who weare right now isn't quite
enough, that we need to fix,refine, and improve ourselves
(00:42):
before we're allowed to feelproud, happy, or at peace.
And yet, what if this whole ideaof betterment, this obsession
with self-improvement isactually what's keeping us
stuck?
What if the very thingpreventing our growth, our peace
and our joy was just that, thisobsession with betterment?
(01:04):
The idea that we have to becomebetter rests on a strange
assumption.
That we were born incomplete,that we arrived in this world
somehow lacking, and now we mustspend the rest of our lives
earning our worth, workingtowards betterment, to become a
better person, a more completeand fulfilled person.
(01:26):
Most of us were taught thisearly on.
Parents, teachers, bosses, allkinds of conditioning.
And all of these told us thatbeing young or inexperienced
meant being unfinished,incomplete, that our job was to
climb the ladder, fill ourbucket, make ourselves valuable.
(01:49):
And so we enter the worldbelieving that life is a
competition, a race to the top,a contest for validation, but it
really just leads to a race tothe bottom.
And here's the problem.
When you believe you're broken,every effort to get better only
deepens the wound.
(02:09):
You start from a place ofincompletion.
You're incomplete.
You start in weakness.
Think about it.
If I tell myself I need tobecome better, I'm also saying
I'm not good enough right now.
That I'm somehow flawed,inadequate, or behind.
(02:30):
And that belief quietly eatsaway at our confidence, our
creativity, and our sense ofself.
It makes it impossible to havetrue introspection because we
think there's nothing to see inthere.
And then we look outward in thehope to find things we can grasp
(02:50):
and pull inside of ourselves.
It keeps us chasing a futureversion of ourselves that never
arrives, because by the time weget there, we have already moved
the goalpost.
This is how so many of us end upexhausted, burned out, and
quietly disappointed.
We've achieved the titles, themoney, the house, maybe, but
(03:13):
peace still out of reach.
Because we've been taught to seepeace as something that comes
after betterment, not before it.
Remember, I always say happinessis self-created.
It is a reality in which weexist, in which we show up.
It's not something that we wakeup to find because that would
(03:34):
mean that we're broken, unhappypeople, and nothing comes to
those.
Nature, on the other hand,doesn't operate that way.
A seed doesn't strive to becomea tree because it hates being
small.
It doesn't wake up in themorning thinking, oh no, I'm not
tall enough yet.
I'm lesser than.
(03:55):
It just grows.
Naturally, in rhythm, guided bysomething inside of it.
The caterpillar doesn't crawlbecause it's ashamed of not
being a butterfly.
It transforms because that'swhat it's meant to do.
It follows its inner code, not avision board, not a five-year
plan.
(04:15):
Its transformation isn't aboutbetterment, it's about
alignment.
It's about fulfilling its natureand by doing so, fulfilling its
present and then also itsfuture.
But when humans chasebetterment, what we're often
chasing is not truth.
It's approval.
We've confused growth withperformance.
(04:36):
And so we measure ourselvesconstantly.
Am I doing enough?
Am I good enough?
Am I better than yesterday?
Will I be better tomorrow?
And with every question likethat, we drift a little further
away from the present moment.
The only place where real changecan happen.
(04:56):
The truth is, when we think weneed to improve, we immediately
disconnect from our power.
We start looking outsideourselves for methods, for
hacks, for validation.
But peace and fulfillment nevercome from outside.
They come from being fullypresent, from honoring who you
are now, not who you think youneed to become.
(05:18):
So what if you stop trying toget better?
What if today you started askinginstead, how can I be more
honest with myself?
How can I be more aware of who Ialready am?
How can I be more loving towardthe person I'm right now, not
the one I hope to becomesomeday?
How can I embrace that person Iam today and with it everything
(05:43):
I've done in the past?
Because here's the truth (05:45):
you're not incomplete, you are not
broken, you're not behind.
Everything you will ever becomeis already in you.
But that will only come out ofyou.
It will only get chiseled out ofyou if you see yourself as
complete today already, ashaving all of that inside of
you.
You're evolving exactly the wayyou were meant to.
(06:08):
Every chapter of your life hasbeen necessary.
Every mistake, every detour,every heartbreak, even.
All of it was essential to yourbecoming.
The point isn't to fix yourstory, it's to understand it, to
meet it with compassion andcuriosity, to really look.
When we do that, somethingshifts.
(06:28):
We stop fighting a reality.
We stop rejecting the gift.
We start unwrapping it.
And when we unwrap the gift, weuse the gift.
We stop comparing ourselves toothers, and we stop postponing
happiness for a future that maynever come.
Because let's be real.
That's exactly what mighthappen.
(06:50):
And suddenly we find ourselvesback in the present moment.
The only place where joy,creativity, and peace actually
live.
You see, growth isn't aboutchasing something out there,
it's about expanding in here.
When you accept yourself as youare today, right now, you create
space.
Space, the creation of space iswhat growth is all about.
(07:11):
Like the caterpillar, yourtransformation will come when
it's time, not through force,but through surrender, through
flow.
And when it comes, it will feelless like striving and more like
flowing.
So maybe it's time to releasethis pressure to be better.
To stop chasing butterflies andstart being a grateful
caterpillar.
(07:31):
To stop measuring your worth inprogress and start honoring it
in presence.
Don't compare today to tomorrowor to yesterday.
See it as what it is today.
100%.
Give 100% today, not 110% ofyesterday.
The real work is not betterment,it's remembrance, it's coming
(07:52):
back home to yourself.
And from that place, every kindof growth becomes possible.
Not because you forced it, butbecause you finally allowed it.
So as you move through yourweek, try this simple shift.
Instead of asking how can I bebetter, ask how can I be more
myself.
Because that's where truetransformation begins.
(08:14):
Don't strive for perfection.
Honor your perfection as italready is.
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