DLUTI 213 - Hometown Horrors 2025 - Don't Look Under the Internet

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_02 (00:16):
Don't look on your video.

SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
Run it back.

SPEAKER_11 (00:33):
Well, if that ain't a fucking tell of what's about
to happen, I don't know what is.
Hello everyone.
Welcome to Don't Look Under theInternet.
It feels so much.
What podcast were you going tosay?

SPEAKER_04 (00:44):
Yeah, you were about to say something different.

SPEAKER_11 (00:46):
I was gonna say scare you under the internet,
but that didn't work.
It does nothing there.
That's nothing.

SPEAKER_06 (00:52):
Yeah.
That's not welcome to SMegmar 9.

SPEAKER_00 (00:54):
It feels so weird not wearing headphones.

SPEAKER_06 (00:57):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (00:58):
It's really weird.
Feels like something's gotta begoing wrong on the headphones.
It's crazy.

SPEAKER_06 (01:03):
It's like you said that in another life, and we
heard it, and I am having a lotof time.
It's like deja vu.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08):
I bet the only recording that's gonna come out
of this that's actually gonnawork is gonna be the one from
the phone, and then we're gonnahave to use an audio.

SPEAKER_11 (01:13):
Alright, now that we've got that all uh squared
away again, the jokes writethemselves.
Almost like they've happened inanother live.

SPEAKER_00 (01:21):
We are recording this time, I see it.

SPEAKER_11 (01:22):
Yes, we are.
So and and I see green bars,which is usually good.
That means number one is goingright at some time.

SPEAKER_06 (01:29):
So are we uh are we recording video?

SPEAKER_00 (01:31):
Yeah, we're recording video.
Hell yeah, that's me.
So my good.

SPEAKER_11 (01:35):
Oh yeah, bring that down to smidge.
But yeah, welcome everyone toDon't Look Under the Internet.
The internet's favorite horrorcomedy podcast featuring the
likes of yours truly.
We have special guests who arein the same room.
Woo! Usually it's just me andJason in a dingy fucky dungeon.
And now it's all four of us in adingy fucking dungeon.
Dingy fucking dungeons.
We have Matt.

(01:56):
Or sorry, Mario.

SPEAKER_02 (01:58):
Wow.

SPEAKER_11 (01:59):
Oh, smoker Mario.
A couple Marlboro Mario Barbara.
It's Marlboro Mario.
Marlboro Mario.

SPEAKER_00 (02:09):
The M is from everyone.
Now figure it out.

SPEAKER_11 (02:13):
Yeah, everyone's favorite cultist.
Who are you praying with?

SPEAKER_04 (02:17):
I'm a little I'm well, I guess today it's a
forest god because of thefucking sigil on my door.

SPEAKER_11 (02:21):
Thought you were gonna say because of the fingers
on your necklace.
Yeah, dear fingers.

SPEAKER_04 (02:25):
Yeah, the finger guy finger gods.

SPEAKER_10 (02:28):
Don't we all also joined with Toad?
It's me, Toad.
That was very shaggedelic, baby.
And it's me, Austin Powers.
Uh baby, very girl.

SPEAKER_04 (02:42):
Like, all you can see in the video is that you're
just wearing a little frills,they're there.

SPEAKER_11 (02:50):
That type of thing is my bag, baby.

SPEAKER_00 (02:52):
It just looks like Mike is dressed up in his dad's
suit.

SPEAKER_06 (02:55):
Oh yeah, we are really oversized code.
Just fucking I'm four.

SPEAKER_11 (03:00):
Um I'm gonna hit us with a good old-fashioned.
Hey, I gotta go.
It didn't come through in theroom, but clap above your head.
It's nice being able to do thatwith us all in the room.
You ruined it.

SPEAKER_00 (03:14):
I had to add the lag just so for the people won't
know what's going on withouteither us or those two lagging.

SPEAKER_04 (03:20):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (03:20):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (03:20):
I have a couple names I want to shout out, boys.

SPEAKER_11 (03:22):
Just a couple, a couple, two, three.
Jim.
That's one of them.
I'd like to shout some names fora moment.

SPEAKER_06 (03:29):
An hour of screaming names.

SPEAKER_10 (03:34):
Um Ryan.

SPEAKER_06 (03:37):
Yes.
Shout out to Ryan at the Wawa.

SPEAKER_11 (03:40):
What?

SPEAKER_06 (03:41):
That is a story for another time, all right.

SPEAKER_11 (03:44):
I want to give a shout out to Shy Guy096.
Hey, we know him.

SPEAKER_06 (03:49):
Appropriate, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I met him at the the wateringhole the other day.
Oh, Ryan?

SPEAKER_10 (03:57):
Look at Shy Guy.
Oh.

SPEAKER_06 (04:03):
You make me so mad, Mike.
You make me so mad.
And I can't take anythingseriously that's going on
because I'm wearing a fucking.
You're wearing a mushroom hat.

SPEAKER_00 (04:13):
The angrier you get, just the more comical.
You do honestly though.
If it wasn't for the redcircles, you would just look
like a genie.

SPEAKER_06 (04:25):
I should have done a genie.
Just get like the blue face bankon.
Yeah.
That's racist to smart.
Okay.
I don't know.
It's uh up to the case.

SPEAKER_11 (04:34):
Are they cool with that in the Muslim Kingdom?

SPEAKER_06 (04:36):
I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 (04:37):
Are they cool with that?

SPEAKER_11 (04:38):
Oh, what do we think?
Let's play name.
Uh Shy Guy.
What do we think?

SPEAKER_00 (04:42):
It's fun.

SPEAKER_06 (04:43):
It's appropriate for this episode, but normally I'd
be like, yeah, you're on thinice shy.

SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
Yeah.
I'd give it like a five and ahalf normally.
I'll give it a six and a halfjust because of the day.

unknown (04:53):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (04:54):
I agree with you.
What about our next guy, AntonioBaggins?

SPEAKER_00 (04:57):
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.

SPEAKER_06 (04:59):
There's a lot of jokes, I feel like, that can be
made about this, but I'm notsure which direction to go.

SPEAKER_00 (05:05):
Italian Hobbit, something.

SPEAKER_11 (05:08):
I was going more Mexican Hobbit.

SPEAKER_00 (05:11):
See, I'm thinking Tony.

SPEAKER_11 (05:14):
Yeah, Tony.

SPEAKER_00 (05:16):
Tony.
Tony knows a guy that can takethe ring.
You don't gotta do thatyourself.
I mean, come on.

SPEAKER_06 (05:23):
Simply walk in the Moldor.

SPEAKER_00 (05:25):
Yeah, you don't simply don't just walk in there.
Come on.

SPEAKER_11 (05:28):
Solomon.
Well, go fuck yourself.

SPEAKER_00 (05:32):
What is it with elves anyway?
I mean, come on.
These hoity toity elves.
Yeah, not not neighborhood.
No way.

SPEAKER_11 (05:39):
We have not much.
Not much.
Not my problem.
Game and watching you.
Oh, wait.
Antonio Baggins, what were youthinking?
I like it a lot.

SPEAKER_06 (05:48):
Yeah, that's pretty fun.
That's a fun one.
He's gonna like email and belike, yeah, this is just my
name, dude.
Hey, you got a good name.
Like you didn't have to changeyours.

SPEAKER_11 (05:58):
All right.
The next one.
Game and watching you.
Mr.
Game and Watch You.

SPEAKER_00 (06:02):
Is that Game and Watch like the Nintendo Game and
Watch things?

SPEAKER_11 (06:05):
I would like to think so.

SPEAKER_00 (06:06):
Yeah.
I have one of those.

SPEAKER_11 (06:08):
That's cool.

SPEAKER_00 (06:08):
I didn't get the Zelda one.
I was gonna get the Zelda one.
I didn't.

SPEAKER_11 (06:11):
Disappointing.

SPEAKER_00 (06:12):
Somebody wants to give me a birthday present.

unknown (06:13):
Okay.

SPEAKER_11 (06:14):
When's your birthday?

SPEAKER_00 (06:15):
Next week.

SPEAKER_11 (06:15):
Oh, yeah.
Oh, bro.
Oh shit.

SPEAKER_06 (06:17):
All right.
Well, you turn in 78?

SPEAKER_00 (06:19):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (06:21):
Thereabouts.

SPEAKER_00 (06:21):
Thereabouts.
Roughly.

SPEAKER_11 (06:22):
Probably left.
Closer than further.
Thank you, everyone who gave ussome money.
You didn't have to give us somemoney.
You didn't.
But you did give us money.

SPEAKER_06 (06:30):
And we were still probably rude to you.

SPEAKER_11 (06:33):
Quote Tomska.
Hey you.
Thank you for money.
Um boys, I'm glad we're alltogether.
And you can tell by the costumesthat we're wearing.
You know what's about to happen.
You know what's about to happen.
We're about to have sex.
We are about to fuck.

SPEAKER_00 (06:49):
This is the launch of the OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_11 (06:51):
Halloween fuck town.
Yeah, let's go to 2025'shometown.
Horrors! Is this the fourthtime?
Where's the where's the werewolfor something?
I don't know what noises arecoming through because.
Yeah, this can only be good.

SPEAKER_00 (07:07):
There was since I'm actually editing this, I can
just cut it out.
Is this the fourth one?
There was one the first year,right?

SPEAKER_06 (07:15):
I think so.

SPEAKER_00 (07:16):
Yeah.
Pretty sure.

SPEAKER_04 (07:17):
Oh yeah.
Ooh.
We really just dropped the ballon like background noises for
these.

SPEAKER_00 (07:24):
This is the fifth.

SPEAKER_04 (07:25):
This is the fifth one.

SPEAKER_00 (07:25):
This would be the fifth.

SPEAKER_04 (07:26):
The fifth year of five fucking years.

SPEAKER_06 (07:30):
That's normally Damn.

SPEAKER_04 (07:32):
Okay.
Close to it this February.

SPEAKER_06 (07:34):
Fucking hell.

SPEAKER_11 (07:35):
We're doing it, babies.
Um what the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 (07:37):
I want to say uh thank you to everybody who did
actually write us an email.
We got a fuck ton of Dungla.
Yeah, we're not all.
Yeah, we could not possibly havespent all the time reading them.
We got almost maybe too many.
Yeah.
We got probably like two and ahalf, three hours worth of
hometown whores.
So yeah, I had like close tolike 30 pages with everyone

(08:00):
document, and we had to cut itdown to like 12 pages.

SPEAKER_11 (08:02):
Yeah, to keep it unbiased, we just selected some
at random and we just threwthose into a dock.

SPEAKER_06 (08:07):
Give you an idea of the We biasedly selected them,
and I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_04 (08:11):
Ted the Caver was like 72 pages of text, and that
was just straight fuckingreading, and that took like
three and a half hours.
Yeah, that was wild.

SPEAKER_06 (08:19):
It was good, but yeah.
So we just if you don't hearyour story, we're sorry.
Maybe you'll hear it next year.
We usually keep the stories andkind of pull them over.

SPEAKER_00 (08:27):
Um or maybe we'll just like use it for extra
content at some point.

SPEAKER_06 (08:32):
Yeah, might maybe a bonus episode or something we
can put out and like read allthe other things.

SPEAKER_00 (08:35):
For Thanksgiving, we'll do leftover Halloween.
We are nothing if not lazy.
Exactly.

SPEAKER_06 (08:41):
Yeah, you know how it goes here.
So that's how you get itsurprising work to do.

SPEAKER_11 (08:44):
Oh money right there.
Suck your dick.

SPEAKER_06 (08:47):
Um I didn't agree to this.
You didn't agree.

SPEAKER_11 (08:50):
So yeah, we we got a couple hometown horrors here.
We're just gonna go down andread them and uh go from there.
Hey editor.

SPEAKER_06 (08:58):
Put in the crackling fire noise.
Put in the crackling firewallright here.
Also, did a shit just is that itwas that a shit?
Is that a wall?

SPEAKER_00 (09:07):
Thanks.
Oh, that big blurred out thick.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (09:11):
Everybody at the same time in your uh basement
down here.
Today, not much, but you shouldbe here on Wednesdays.

SPEAKER_11 (09:18):
I don't want to know what happens here on a
Wednesday.
All right, well now we got this.
Ooh.
Um, that fire is so nice andwarm.
You feel that?
Ooh.
Ah, put the embers on thescreen.

SPEAKER_04 (09:27):
Oh, he's making them work for it.
Remember when Mike used to dothis shit to me?

SPEAKER_00 (09:32):
Just like, hey editor, fucking do this.
And you cared enough to like doit at the time.
See, I just don't care.
It doesn't, it doesn't guilt meanymore.

SPEAKER_11 (09:39):
I like it more when you put a different noise in.
It's like way funnier.
You did the one, I forgot what Iasked for.
I was like, oh, can you put inlike a whistle here and just put
in like a fucking fart?
Just like a huge fart.

SPEAKER_00 (09:49):
My favorite one was the one that I did it like 30
seconds after you asked for it.
So you ask for it and thennothing happens, and then like
30 seconds later you starttalking and it just happens.
I don't remember what episodethat was.

SPEAKER_06 (10:01):
I really liked when you fast-forwarded Mike's voice
that one part in that oneepisode where he just got into a
rant and then it just was likepeople left comments on that
episode.

SPEAKER_00 (10:10):
They were like, I thought I was having a stroke.

SPEAKER_11 (10:12):
No, these people are just allergic to the truth.
That's all.
Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_06 (10:17):
Who's starting us off?
Not me, I say.
Not me.

SPEAKER_04 (10:20):
We're starting off with a good old-fashioned.

SPEAKER_11 (10:22):
Alright.
Hang on.
I haven't done the song in aminute, I feel like.

SPEAKER_04 (10:25):
You haven't?
Alright.

SPEAKER_11 (10:27):
What are you drinking?
What are you thinking?
There's a bottle here and it'sempty.
Yeah.
Woo! Wow, even in the same room,we can't correlate that.

SPEAKER_04 (10:37):
No, not at all.
Uh we're starting with someknob.
Knob of the creek.
Slob the knob.
And then we got some wild turkeysomewhere.
Yeah.
I have wild turkey.
It's what plants crave.
It is what Brondo.
Brondo.
This is the first time we'vebeen in the same fucking room in
a long ass time.

SPEAKER_06 (10:58):
Yes, it has been quite a while.

SPEAKER_00 (11:00):
Hell yeah.
Your Honor, he interrupted outmy balls.

SPEAKER_11 (11:06):
Alright.
Um, well.
I guess I can start.
And where else to start exceptthe beginning?
Am I right, boys?
Well, just scroll like halfwaythrough.

SPEAKER_05 (11:15):
Yeah, I think that's right.

SPEAKER_11 (11:16):
And then we'll try and keep track that way.
His first story.
Oh shit, what was that?
Sounded like a gooey whale inthe background.
Sorry, I got goose.

SPEAKER_10 (11:25):
A gooey whale.

SPEAKER_08 (11:26):
His first one.
It's gonna get dead on thebottom.
It's just gonna be like anactual whale noise.

SPEAKER_04 (11:33):
He introduced uh fucking flying whales by Gojira.

SPEAKER_11 (11:37):
Every single one of these is just Matt recording
himself going, no.
Absolutely.
Absolutely not.
Um so I'll start this off.
Our first story today is by8-bit hypocrite.
I'm more of an 8-bit hippo bloodmyself, but here we are.
Oh, it's crit, not crip.
I need new glasses.

(11:58):
So bad.
Anyway.

SPEAKER_04 (12:02):
That's kind of a great name.

SPEAKER_06 (12:03):
You can use this to scroll.
Oh, much preach, my guy.
Much preach.
Is this a long one?
It's not that bad.

SPEAKER_11 (12:09):
Oh, yeah, it's long-ish.
That's all right.

SPEAKER_06 (12:12):
Well, pick the pace up, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hello, Duluthie.
Yeah, too slow.

SPEAKER_11 (12:21):
Hello, Deludi.
Just wanted to throw out thatI'm a big fan.
Been here since episode one.
Thank you.
I haven't given you guys anymoney yet.
Fuck you, actually.
Max.
Next.
I wonder.

SPEAKER_00 (12:40):
Also, haven't most people been here since episode
one?
I mean, I assume most people goback and listen to it.

SPEAKER_06 (12:44):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (12:45):
It is at the top.

SPEAKER_06 (12:46):
Some people don't, alright?
You can't shame them.
Anyway, I haven't given you anymoney yet.
Doug's one of those people.

SPEAKER_11 (12:52):
Never listened to anything we've done.
I wonder where I could do thatat.
Hmm.
Now would be a sure good timefor a Patreon fourth wall plug.
Patreon.com sets showiepog.com.
Anyway, my story is lesssupernatural, but more ex uh but
much more existential, and stillgives me some sleepless nights
to this very day, just thinkingabout what the hell it all

(13:14):
means.
When I was young, not sureexactly how old, but I guess
around seven or eight, I had adream.
I don't remember dreams veryoften.
Usually I just blink and wake upthe next day with nothing in
between.
Never-ending spaces or monstersor some other weird shit.

(13:36):
But I remember that this one wasvery casual.
Very normal.
With extreme detail.
And realism.
I was in a basement.
Not one that I recognize, butmostly concrete with some basic
furniture.

SPEAKER_04 (13:55):
I don't even know what this is, to be quite honest
with you.

SPEAKER_11 (13:58):
He hasn't found his groovy.
Should I go?
Oh, what's his name?
Should I read the rest as no,should I read the rest as um You
should do it?
Who's the who's the old horrorguy?
He talks like this all the time.
What's his fucking name?
Yeah.
I'm Vincent Price.
I mean that'd be funny too, butmostly concrete with some basic
furniture.
He's not gonna keep us up.
Another couch, some foldingchairs.

(14:20):
And all of it was sitting arounda big round card table.
Yeah, I can't keep it up.
There were a few small windowstoward the top of the unfinished
walls with daylight comingthrough.
But I never tried to lookoutside.
There were quite a few peoplesitting around the table.
A group of kids around my age.
I don't know who they are now.
I didn't recognize her faceswhen I woke up.

(14:42):
But in the dream, I knew eachone is my friend.
Especially the girl sittingdirectly across from me.
Because I remember her the best.
She had olive skin and blackhair with hazel eyes.
In the dream, I already nevernamed Liz.

SPEAKER_04 (14:58):
This is this is written like a like a horse or
something.
Honestly.

SPEAKER_11 (15:02):
Crazy, right?
The dream was basically anothing burger on its own.
We sat around and talked, playedsome card games, and just
generally hung out like kids do.
Felt cozy.
Like a nice vacation in mysleep.
Then I woke up.
I thought it was weird to haveknown Liz in particular, since
obviously I had never talked toor met anyone like that in real

(15:22):
life.
But shrugged it off and forgotall about it for the next couple
of years.
Then in my senior year of senioryear of high school, about ten
years later, I had the samedream.
The basement was the same.
All the furniture was there, allthe people, including Liz.
This time, everyone was older.
The furniture was faded, thecouch clearly worn, the folding

(15:43):
chairs were dented and warped,and all the people in the room
had grown up as well.
I recognized faces and haircolor.
It was clearly the same group,but everyone was in their late
teenage years now.
Just like I was.
Liz still sat across from mewhile we played, now taller than
me.
It was as if everything in thedream had aged at exactly the
same rate as I had in the realworld.

(16:06):
Nothing was too worn down, rundown, and it wasn't scary or
intimidating.
It was just another casual gamenight with my friends.
Just as relaxing the relaxingthe first time, and then, after
a few rounds of playing cards,Liz looked directly at me and
said just one sentence.
It's good to see you again.
And then I woke up.

(16:28):
I still don't understand exactlywhat happened, and it's always
hard to describe dreams.
But if I can stress one thing,that is so fucking annoying that
keeps happening.
Sorry, that took me out.
I hate that thing so much.
What did you do?
It's this dumb grammar thing youhave on here.

SPEAKER_00 (16:47):
You wanna change that?

SPEAKER_11 (16:48):
I'm cut I'm so sorry.
It's grammarly, alright?
I'm sorry, 8-bit.
I still don't understand exactlywhat happened.
And it's always hard to describedreams.
But if I can stress just onething, it was the familiarity.
I knew these people.
They were strangers to me inreal life, but in both dreams I
clearly recognized every personin that room.
And I could tell you thateverything was the same the

(17:09):
second time.
They recognized me.
Liz even said so, and saying,It's so good to see you again.
Makes it seem like she knowstime really passed.
I understand some people haverecurring dreams, but I want to
stress that's never happened tome aside from this incident,
which clearly changed witheverything growing up.
It wasn't the same.

(17:29):
It was just like I was visitingthe same place years later.
We played different games,different people won, and Liz
said different things.
I'm not exactly scared by this,but just weirded out.
I've only had the that dreamthose two times, and I don't
know how my brain perfectlyrecreated a dream I thought and
I had forgotten about from yearsearlier.

(17:50):
Then went to all the trouble ofmaking the room and people age
up as if time had truly passed.
It's probably the strangestthing to ever happen to me.
And even though it might soundboring from an outside
perspective, I can't tell youhow much I wanted that dream.
I can't tell you how much I wantto dream that again and see if
they're even older now.
Whether there are people in mydreams or my brain just thought

(18:11):
it would be funny to prank theshit out of me.
I just don't know.
It felt so real and in an underisn't it felt so real as an
understatement.
It's the most realisticexperience I've ever had, and
it's the reason it makes methink.
Anyway, too heavy.
Kiss your dad.
Beings of being.
Stay paranoid.
Love you all.
Have an awesome hometown horrorday.

(18:33):
Woo! Thank you, Ape.
Yeah, not as much spooky, butthat is very fascinating.
I've yet to have a recurringthing that takes place later.

SPEAKER_04 (18:42):
Yeah.
Ten years later, and everyone'sjust like older.
And they're just like, hey, howyou going?
Like it's like you, it's like areunion with dream people.

SPEAKER_11 (18:49):
It's your high school reunion of dreams.
High school musical of dreams?
That's the one.

SPEAKER_04 (18:55):
High school musical of dreams.
That's the one.
I wish.
Yeah, same, man.
Nice.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (19:05):
Same.
It really is hard when we allget together for the first time
in a while.

SPEAKER_06 (19:10):
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (19:11):
You know.

SPEAKER_04 (19:12):
I'm hard.
I know that.
It's always hard.
As soon as you guys walk to mydoor.
Jason, take it away.
Yeah, Doug handed me the mouse,so I kind of assumed that's like
the talking pillow.
You have one you want, huh?
This one has Gengar on it.
It does?
It does.
Yeah, Genjar.
Genjar.
Um, yeah, no, I'm I'm not gonnalie.
I really liked that one.
That was it was not scary, itwas more existential.

SPEAKER_11 (19:34):
Yeah, so let's rate them on a scale of one to ten
out of uh one being not scary,ten being scary.
Not gonna lie.
Like a two, it's not scary.
But good story.
It's existentially scary.

SPEAKER_06 (19:45):
I think we have to rate it on being scary.
Okay, how'd you rate it on it?
How we liked it.
How about that?

SPEAKER_10 (19:50):
Cool.

SPEAKER_06 (19:51):
One of out of two.
Yeah, one or two.
Out of two.
Out of two.

SPEAKER_07 (19:59):
How much do we like?
Right.

SPEAKER_06 (20:02):
Okay, that's easy.
That's easier.
Did we like it?
No, actually, that's that that'srough.
Because if we get to one that'sbad, we're just like that suck,
dude.

SPEAKER_11 (20:15):
All right, we'll go into 10.
I'm gonna give it that's that'swe're not too much.
I'll give it a cool six.

SPEAKER_06 (20:20):
It's pretty fun.
That's what I was thinking.
Six, six and a half.

SPEAKER_04 (20:23):
I'm like a seven, seven and a half, just simply
because I like I love shit likethis.
Just like unlocking brainmoments where like your brain's
doing shit that you don't evenknow.
And it's supposed to be you, butalso you don't know what's
happening.
That's that that fucks me up.

SPEAKER_00 (20:37):
I'll give it a seven because I think dream stuff is
scary.
Yeah.
Because I used to have real badnight terrors, and dream stuff
like particularly gets to me,but also I just have this
horrible fear that like my brainis gonna betray me.
Same lose control of my ownthoughts.
Yeah.
And so dreams, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (20:56):
That's where I'm at.

SPEAKER_00 (20:57):
The idea of your your own brain like terrifying
you is not the best.

SPEAKER_04 (21:02):
I told Kelly, as soon as uh like my brain turns
on me and like starts turning meinto a different person, and I
don't even know what'shappening, just load me up with
hallucinogens and kick me out ofan airplane.
Just no parachute, goodbye.
It'll be the best four minutesof my life.
Um, okay, cool.
Let's go to the next one.
My ass full of shrooms.
Yeah, just mushrooms in my ass.

(21:23):
Oh, I got you, dog.
They you put Doug up my ass andthen kick me out of an airplane.
Well, we went there.

SPEAKER_00 (21:30):
Offer than I thought it would be.

SPEAKER_01 (21:32):
Congrats, Jason.

SPEAKER_00 (21:35):
Now that when you actually go crazy, that's what
you're gonna imagine is thatDoug is up there.
Fuck my life.
He's in my ass!

SPEAKER_06 (21:42):
We've been having this random thought from 20
years in the past.
Just fucking.

SPEAKER_04 (21:46):
Whenever Kelly and I do shrooms together, that's the
thing that's gonna come up, andshe's gonna have to console me.

SPEAKER_06 (21:51):
And she knows that this is happening.
Kelly dug my hand.

SPEAKER_04 (21:54):
She brought it up.
Okay.

SPEAKER_05 (21:55):
All right.

SPEAKER_00 (21:56):
Okay.
Just bends over, drops trout,shows her his buttle.

SPEAKER_05 (22:00):
Get him out! Get him out! This is the only way we can
be safe.
Get in my ball.

SPEAKER_04 (22:07):
Holy fuck.
She'd be like, alright.
I'll get the tongs.
Um anyway.
Let's go to the next one.
Our next story comes from MIK.
MIK.
Or Emik, unless is there a spacein there?
There's a space.
Okay, cool.
M E K.
Hey guys, big fan of thepodcast.
You've kept me entertained whileworking it through some

(22:29):
mind-numbing days at work.
So I appreciate you all.
I don't know how to introducethis hometown horror of mine, so
I'll just jump right in.

SPEAKER_00 (22:36):
Before we do this, I want next year.
Somebody better send in a storyand please start the story with
I fucking hate this podcast.

SPEAKER_04 (22:43):
Please, God.
If if you okay, yeah, next year,if you send us those, those will
be the first ones read.

SPEAKER_06 (22:49):
Also, I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little sad we didn't
get any penis explosion chamberesque stories this year.
Well, just give it away now, Iguess.
They're gonna find out at theend, and they'll they'll if you
want to stop listening now.

SPEAKER_04 (23:01):
I understand there's your key.
We understand.
Um Doug's in your ass.
That's and that's why we needthe tongs.
Unless the explosion works.
It usually doesn't though.
Anyways.
You're an expert.

SPEAKER_00 (23:19):
You've seen it.

SPEAKER_04 (23:19):
It's happened so many times.
Um As a teenager, I spent mytime going between my mother,
who lived in Washington State,and my father, who lived in
Ireland.
Damn.
That's pretty good.
That's a that's a lot oftraveling.
That's a lot of traveling.

(23:41):
When I was fifteen and livingwith my dad in a little fishing
village off the southwest coastof Ireland, we would go fishing
at this lake.
On the way to the lake, we wouldsee signs that simply said
burial ground.
What?
Since my dad and I have alwayshad an interest in the
paranormal and the unexplained,we decided to check it out one
day.
Now, I'm not talking about acemetery, I'm talking about like

(24:04):
an old burial ground.
No headstones and names or datesor anything like that.
It was just graves with rockspiled on top.
It was in the middle of nowhere,not close to any people or
forests, or wildlife for thatmatter.
When my dad and I went snoopingaround, we came across an old
grave where you could peekthrough the cracks of the rocks.

(24:24):
When we did, we could see ahuman skull staring right back
at us.
There was a dick in its mouth.
Nope, that's not here.
Uh Doug's like, wait, really?
This haunted me, as it was myfirst time seeing one in person,
and I can never forget it.
Fast forward to when I wastwenty one and had returned to

(24:45):
Ireland with my husband to,unfortunately, clear out my
dad's house after he had passedaway from cancer.
For years, I had told my husbandabout this old burial ground and
told him I would take him thereone day.
So I did.
When we arrived, I had to get mybearings, and and as it had been
a while since I had been therelast.

(25:06):
Eventually, I found the oldgrave where I'd once found the
skull staring back at me, onlyto find the skull was no longer
there.
Not sure if something or someonehad run off with it, but
regardless, it was gone.
As we continued to venturearound the burial site a bit
more, we were chatting, and allof a sudden we were both stopped
in our tracks by what could onlybe explained as a primal and

(25:30):
painful moan coming from underone of the graves in front of
us.
It was loud.
It echoed like it was comingfrom a chamber.
A penis explosion chamber?
I thought you said there wasnone of this.
Spoilers, bro, trying to jukehim out.
It sounded human, but unearthlyat the same time.
Like someone was in agony.

(25:51):
It was the type of sound thattriggered the fight or flight
instinct in your body.
Return the slide.
And while frozen with fear, wemust have shared a psychic
connection because without somuch as a breath, we both ran
out of there as if our livesdepended on it.
Maybe it did.
We got back in the car, peeledout as fast as we could, and we

(26:12):
never looked back.
My husband and I still talkabout it to this day.
I'm sorry.
My husband and I still talkabout it, and to this day, I
have never heard any sound evenremotely close to what we heard.
Words can't explain what it was.
But our instincts knew it wasn'tgood.
It was a sound that I could gothe rest of my life without ever
hearing again.

(26:32):
It was pure terror.
So that's it.
Nothing too crazy, but enough tostill think about it.
To still wonder and try torationalize what we heard.
Enough to know we weren'twelcome there that day, whatever
it was.
Thanks for taking the time toread my story.
Love you guys.
Stay paranoid.
Damn.

SPEAKER_06 (26:51):
Thank you, thank you.
Um this reminds me did I did Itell the story Ireland?
Uh yeah, they were in Irelandwhen it happened.
Did I ever tell the story aboutwhen I heard the like crazy
scream from my computer?
Okay, I might have to tell thatstory.

SPEAKER_07 (27:07):
Yes, actually.

SPEAKER_06 (27:07):
No.

SPEAKER_10 (27:09):
Where I was sitting on my hard drive.

SPEAKER_06 (27:12):
I was sitting on my computer at work, and Lissa was
like sitting in bed and like shewas off that day or something,
and like an actual likeblood-curdling scream came
through my speakers, and I wastraining a new girl at work, and
like it was it was crazy.
Like me and Lissa were like,What did she fuck just happen?
No, I but well, we asked thegirl that I was training, and

(27:33):
we're like, Did you hear that?
And she's like, No.
And like, I have no idea.
Like, it just like came throughthe speaker.
Like, I swear to god, it soundedlike someone was being fucking
hurt.
Yeah, it's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 (27:46):
But it just this is this one reminded me of that a
little bit because I was like,You could do that by just
embedding a hidden media playerin a web page and then writing a
script so that it only triggersafter you've left the page open
for like two hours.
Yeah, right.
So it just happens.

SPEAKER_04 (28:04):
Thank you for reminding me of a thing that I
still have to do that I have notdone yet.
I've been talking about it.

SPEAKER_00 (28:08):
I'm certain that's a thing somebody's done before,
and it's definitely a thing Iwant to do now.

SPEAKER_04 (28:11):
Yeah.
Just fucking give somebody PTSDand all sorts of other problems
just because they're like, whatthe fuck?
Well we rate this story, fellas.

SPEAKER_00 (28:21):
I'm a rate of.
Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (28:27):
Someone's definitely sitting there for an hour plus.

SPEAKER_11 (28:29):
They're giving us all that money.

SPEAKER_00 (28:30):
Well, somebody might open it, be like, oh, I'll come
back and look at this later,open another tab, and just like
leave it in the background.
I do that all right.

SPEAKER_04 (28:36):
He's gotta open up 360p open for two hours.
Play this.

SPEAKER_11 (28:41):
It's gotta open up a 360p video of Jason taking a wet
shit.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (28:47):
It's a toilet cam.
I'll buy a 360 camera just forthat.
There you go.
Three uh wow, a 360 shit cam?
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
A dilute 360 shit cam.

SPEAKER_11 (28:56):
I'm gonna give this a hundred a month.
Seven and a half.
That was pretty good.
That was pretty good.
That's pretty solid, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (29:02):
I like it.
I'm I'll also probably give it aabout a seven.
Yeah.
Um again, I so I Ireland, thisis it's like a hot spot for it.
It makes me think of like theKnights Templar.
It makes me think of like awhole bunch of different uh
Nordic cults and different cultsthat invaded that area like way
the fuck back then.
If you saw a human skull thereand then it was gone, it was

(29:23):
moaning, like I don't know, theburial ground, it's just rocks
piled.
It's obvious he wasn'tChristian.
I don't know, man.
This has been a nugget ofhistory with Jason.
I love this shit.
It's fascinating.
I know it's probably rational,but also I I agree.

SPEAKER_06 (29:38):
I think it's I think it's nice to see.

SPEAKER_04 (29:40):
No, I think you heard a ghost.

SPEAKER_06 (29:41):
Oh yeah.
You heard what you heard?
Or horny skeleton?

SPEAKER_04 (29:44):
Horny skeleton.
That's my vote.

unknown (29:47):
Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (29:48):
Alright.
Very good.

SPEAKER_00 (29:51):
The goon skeleton moose bowl meal.
Alright, alright, alright.

SPEAKER_06 (29:55):
On to the neck.

SPEAKER_00 (29:58):
Oh, there's not going.
Right here.
Yes.
The next one, right?
Uh I'm about to make a name formyself here.

SPEAKER_06 (30:09):
Um getting the Creole, busting up the Creole a
little bit.

SPEAKER_00 (30:12):
Hell yeah.
I've been waiting for it is.
This starts just from grabbing acoat.
This story is from Safety Bunny.
Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (30:20):
Safety dance.

SPEAKER_00 (30:21):
Everybody do the safety bunny.

SPEAKER_06 (30:23):
Safety dance.

SPEAKER_00 (30:25):
You can, bunny, if you want to, you can leave your
turds behind.
Because you're a bunny and whenyou hop, you leave turds behind.

SPEAKER_06 (30:34):
I think you saved it in the other.

SPEAKER_00 (30:36):
I got it.
I used to work as an overnightreceptionist in a veterinary
hospital.
I loved it.
The skeleton crew and I lovedhelping anyone who came in from
being hit by cars to petsgetting into someone's CBD
gummies.
Those were our favorites.
It was hard work, but I had fun.
Whenever it was lunchtime, thestaff would retire to the
farther side of the hospital bythe MRI machines where it was

(30:58):
quiet.
We keep the lights off in thehallways between the ER and the
MRI area where the exit signslighting up the surroundings in
a light reddish hue.
The hospital is a literalstraight line.
You cannot get lost in it.
Bet.
At 3 a.m.
I left for lunch and overheard acouple of vet techs coming back
from break.

(31:18):
That was weird, right?
Who was using a Doppler radarway over there?
I didn't see anyone.
The MRI machine makes a humsimilar to a large fridge, but
the Dopplers are loud andcrackly.
Maybe the text heard someonedoing a Doppler in the ER.
Those things are quite loud.
I walked over to the MRI area.
I was taking notice of mysurroundings, making sure there
weren't any loose wires orelectricity crackling.

(31:40):
Sorry, I'm just that kind ofperson.
I heard it.
The Doppler.
Static.
Crackle.
The thumps of a heart.
I turn around and see the f thefluorescent lights of the ER,
hearing the text giggle andchatter as they trade dirty
jokes.
But that was over there.
The static is here.
I took a peek at the nearbyX-ray and consultation rooms.
The rooms were dark, and nobodywas in them.

(32:00):
I remember all the stories abouthaunted human hospitals, ghosts,
and ideas about accumulatedenergy, replaying moments or
sounds in an environment.
Maybe it was something likethat?
I wondered.
I continued to walk to the MRIarea to start my meal, putting
headphones on and distractingmyself from the hums and
crackles of machines.
If there were any in use, thatis.
I think about all the animals,the ones that were saved and the

(32:22):
ones we helped pass on.
If this was a haunting of somekind or some kind of echo, I
didn't feel it was malevolent.
Maybe it was just saying hi.
I finished my meal and talked tothe techs for the remainder of
my break.
Oh yeah, that happens sometimes,they said.
Typical spooky hospital shit.
Lots of death, you know.
But it's not scary.
Weird, but not scary.
I agreed.

(32:43):
Thankful that the team also hadthe same mindset.
I walked back to my desk andlooked at our little Day of the
Dead altar.
The hospital maiden with all ourpets photos and their favorite
toys.
Hi guys, I said, and continuedmy shift.
My ship.

SPEAKER_06 (32:56):
If you want to play it, you can, but I don't know if
we'll Nah.

SPEAKER_04 (32:59):
I also use I use a Doppler like every other day.

SPEAKER_11 (33:02):
So your best impression of it?

SPEAKER_00 (33:07):
That's kind of scary.
That's not what I would haveexpected.

SPEAKER_06 (33:10):
Can we uh can we confirm?
Yeah, let's confirm.

SPEAKER_04 (33:12):
Let's see how good my uh my impression was.
Will we even hear it?

SPEAKER_03 (33:17):
Turn the machine on and that's the sound we're
looking to hear.
So as I'm holding her, um I'mputting very little pressure on
her arm.
If I actually I guess it's kindof similar.

SPEAKER_00 (33:31):
Yeah, it's I could see where where you were coming.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (33:34):
Static comes from you basically dragging the end
of the Doppler over something,and it uses uh it basically it
it it listens for the heartpumping blood through your veins
and vessels.
And it's what we use in the uhin the OR when we're doing like
AV fistulas and stuff like thatto basically reconnect veins.
We're fisting people and we usethis.
All three of us were like, yousaid it, you said the word.

(33:57):
Um no, like we it's basicallylike a blockage in a vein.
We have to we have to create anew route for blood to flow.
And so we basically use this tomake sure the blood's flowing,
and so we use it all the time.
And I would say if you hearthat, like that's it's a very
fucking like it's a you knowwhat it is when you hear it if
you've heard it before.
You know exactly what it is, andit's it's loud, it's not quiet.

SPEAKER_06 (34:18):
I I like this one because it's pets and not like a
person, so like there's justsome like good boy like just
saying something, you know.

SPEAKER_11 (34:26):
Yeah, yeah.
I'll give it a six and a half.

SPEAKER_04 (34:29):
I'll give it a six.
That's good.
I'll do six and a half.

SPEAKER_11 (34:32):
I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_04 (34:33):
Edging on seven just because medical shit.
I'm thinking Chad, he's edging,he's edging.

SPEAKER_00 (34:37):
Fisting and edging, you say.

SPEAKER_04 (34:38):
Fisting and edging.

SPEAKER_00 (34:40):
Yeah, I'll give it like a six and a half.

SPEAKER_07 (34:41):
It wasn't scary, but it was good.
It was interesting.

SPEAKER_06 (34:46):
I need uppies.
It's Dungle's turn.
Uppies.
Give me Uppies.
Does your daughter say that yet?

SPEAKER_07 (34:52):
No, she just goes up uh I will pick up.
She goes like that.
She'll run up to you.
She'll run to you and go, Iwanna pick her up.

SPEAKER_04 (35:02):
Dude, your daughter's fucking hilarious,
and I hate that she hates me.
So Lori was taking the Tylenol.

SPEAKER_11 (35:11):
I will neither confirm nor deny.
She's like, Yo, RFK doesn't cometo my house.

SPEAKER_08 (35:16):
I know there's Tylenol in there, let me in.

SPEAKER_04 (35:20):
That's the real horror story.
Anesthesia trying to administerliquid Tylenol, which is through
the IV.
And he just busts through thewall.
I literally, I just went, wait.
And they're like, watch.
And I'm like, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (35:34):
And everybody died laughing.

SPEAKER_06 (35:35):
And then everyone died, and we didn't do the
surgery.

SPEAKER_00 (35:37):
You BB2, but I was gonna say, is your daughter
simple jack?

SPEAKER_06 (35:42):
Simple Jack.
Oh my god.
I love when we rip on Mike'stwo-year-old daughter.
She hates.

SPEAKER_00 (35:49):
At least you're not punting her.

SPEAKER_06 (35:50):
She's a hateful supply.
I never did punt her.
So in case anyone was wonderingfrom episodes past, I've never I
never did kick her.

SPEAKER_11 (35:57):
So no, it was the Tylenol that got her, not him.

SPEAKER_06 (36:01):
I knew this.
I knew it.
I was like, Lord, take theTylenol!

SPEAKER_00 (36:04):
It's child abuse and a hate crime.
Is that what Double Jeopardymeans?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (36:13):
If you can as long as you do two things that are
bad, they cancel each other out.
I thought Double Jeopardy waswhen you get a lot more points
for answering the question.

unknown (36:22):
Right.

SPEAKER_04 (36:22):
The same thing applies to core flaws.

SPEAKER_06 (36:24):
Okay.
They're like, some Nietzsche'sboss cities like they say some
like defense thing where they'relike the daily double!

SPEAKER_11 (36:34):
What is 25 to life?
That's correct.

SPEAKER_00 (36:36):
That's correct, yes.

SPEAKER_08 (36:38):
You're off the hook.

SPEAKER_00 (36:39):
What is I'm on a list?

SPEAKER_06 (36:43):
Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 (36:44):
If you get a good point, you don't have to go to
rehab anyway.

SPEAKER_06 (36:47):
All right.
Our next story comes fromJacobs.
Just kidding.
It's Jacob S.
Jacob is.
But plural Jacobs.
Um hi Diluty Boys.
I've been listening to your showconstantly for about six months.
Uh I'm loving it.
Constantly.

(37:07):
Constantly.

SPEAKER_00 (37:07):
Six months non-stop.

SPEAKER_04 (37:09):
I haven't eaten or shat, which actually makes
sense.

SPEAKER_06 (37:12):
I pressed Clay and I haven't stopped.
Um your show and its lack ofseriousness.
There we go.
Yeah, helped me get through somebig life changes.
I knew that was gonna cause somekind of a immediately just
dogged on.
All right, and I've listenedever since.
I always make sure to listen toyour show first when a new
episode pops up on Spotify.
I appreciate what you guys do.

(37:34):
Keep it up.
Since you guys helped me, Iwanted to reciprocate by
submitting a hometown horrorstory this year.
I think it's a good one, and Ihope you read it on your show.
We're not FYI.
No.
Um anyway.

SPEAKER_04 (37:46):
By the way.

SPEAKER_06 (37:48):
Anyways, backstory.
All right, so it is all true,and I can send the articles and
links uh as proof if you want.
We're not we're not fuckinggiving you the third degree
here, man.
Um, okay, so my wife and Istarted working out at a local
gym in my hometown in Michigan.
Uh there was normal clientelethere, um, new people trying to

(38:08):
get fit, muscle-bound guys andgirls maintaining their shape,
and after a while, two guysstarted coming who stood out and
gave me the creeps.
Uh, they drew attention becausethey wore eyeliner and strange
clothing.
Not something that normallyhappens in my little town.

SPEAKER_08 (38:23):
It's the goth gym.

SPEAKER_06 (38:25):
Um, so one piece of attire that I can't forget is a
leather kilt, which wasdefinitely out of place in the
gym.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're sweating theirballs on everything.
What the fuck?
Anyways, um, okay, so justbecause they looked weird to me,
I didn't treat them differentlyand and worked out as usual.
That's good, right?
Um, so I stayed aware of thembecause of the weird vibe.

SPEAKER_05 (38:45):
You're like, get out of here, kill!

SPEAKER_00 (38:49):
Um boom!

SPEAKER_05 (38:50):
You're materialists at a water wicking.

SPEAKER_00 (38:52):
Get the fuck out of here.
Just make eye contact.

SPEAKER_05 (38:55):
I see your balls imprint on the fucking
stairmaster.
All right.
Um I don't know, dude.
Don't know, dude.
Don't don't question it.

SPEAKER_04 (39:10):
It's a fucking image in my head.
Holy shit.
No, okay.
This is only going to get worsefrom here because we are going
to be drinking more.
Oh man.
Okay.

SPEAKER_01 (39:28):
Oh my goodness.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Why?

SPEAKER_04 (39:37):
Okay.
They did say they liked our lackof serious stone.
I gotta figure out where I amagain.

SPEAKER_06 (39:44):
Hold on.
Okay, okay, I'm back.
Okay.
I stayed aware of them because Igot weird vibes.
They're balls on the It wasdefinitely the balls on the
stairmaster.
Yeah, so we spent a few monthsworking out there, and
eventually those guys stoppedcoming.

(40:04):
People come and go at the gym,so I didn't think much of it.
This was until I saw the newsarticle.
I saw the face in the article,and I knew it was leather kilt
guy.
The leather kilt guy was notonly convicted of murder, also
of something more macabre.
He had met a younger man from mytown on Google.

SPEAKER_00 (40:22):
I've seen the videos about this guy! Seriously?
I've seen YouTube videos aboutKilt Man.
Oh, you really have to be a man.

SPEAKER_04 (40:29):
Holy fuck.

SPEAKER_00 (40:30):
So this is absolutely hot, like there's I
think are you uh it's um it wason like one of those body cam
video.

SPEAKER_04 (40:37):
Oh shit, no way YouTube channels, yeah.
So we might find some police inthis story.

SPEAKER_06 (40:41):
Well, they said they had evidence for us, so like Oh,
fair.
Yeah, yeah.
So police are next!

SPEAKER_01 (40:46):
Let's go!

SPEAKER_06 (40:47):
So uh uh blah blah blah blah blah.
So Leather guy was convicted ofmurder, but also something more
macabre.
He had a younger man from mytown on Grinder.
They went on a date.
Leather Kilt guy had sinisterintentions and ended up
slaughtering the younger man athis house.
Before this was known, uh thepolice and many people they were
looking for the younger man as amissing person.
Uh, police were tipped off thatleather kiltman was involved and

(41:09):
they searched the house.
Two officers showed up, uh, oneto keep an eye on the leather
kilt man and one to search thehouse.
As the house was searched, theyfound a false wall in the
basement.
And as the officer got throughthe wall, he found the younger
man's body.
He was hanging upside down fromthe rafters, all of his blood
drained like a deer uh duringhunting season.
His genitals were cut off andnowhere to be found.

(41:31):
The officer was like screaming,I guess.
And then the partner tackled theleather kilt man, and he went to
jail and is not getting out anytime soon.

SPEAKER_04 (41:39):
The officer?
What?
The officer's the he in thiswent-to-jail situation.
No.
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 (41:45):
Leather Kiltman is he chill, bro.
Um, so uh, and if all of thiswasn't enough, even more
information came out that theman, uh, after the man was
arrested, that the missinggenitals were not in the house
anymore because they had beencooked and eaten by Leather Kilt
guy.
This is a fucking mine tilesituation.
It was said that he used uhWorcestershire sauce as

(42:06):
seasoning, like it were abreakfast sausage, and I can't
imagine the rest of the meals hewould have made if he hadn't
been caught.
Normally you read about thisstuff and move on with your day,
but this hit me harder since itcame I came face to face and
worked out at the same time.
Uh as a murderer, uh, but as acannibal as well.
I haven't looked atWorcestershire sauce the same
since his balls touched the samestairmaster as mine.

SPEAKER_00 (42:27):
You can watch this you can watch this guy's uh uh
interrogation on YouTube.

SPEAKER_04 (42:34):
Holy shit.
The leather kilted cannibal.

SPEAKER_00 (42:38):
Yeah.
He's fucking weird, man.

SPEAKER_06 (42:40):
Mike's all the holy fuck.

SPEAKER_11 (42:42):
Okay, why you do this to me?

SPEAKER_06 (42:43):
Here, we'll we'll give it to somebody else.
Who wants a long one?

unknown (42:46):
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (42:47):
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
I'll take it.
Oh, oh, I'll take it, I'll takeit.

SPEAKER_06 (42:50):
Alright, what do we think about that story though,
real quick before I move on?
10 out of 10.
I fucking holy shit.
Yeah, that was a good one.
That was that was crazy.
That's a 10 out of 10 for me.
Can you imagine just like likebeing that close to someone,
like actually being that closeto someone the next day you're
just like, oh yeah, that man atea penis?

SPEAKER_04 (43:04):
It's like the fucking cops that returned that
kid to Jeffrey Dahmer.

SPEAKER_00 (43:08):
Oh yeah.
Oh yes, yes, that was that wasbad.
That was at least this guydidn't return killed man.

SPEAKER_04 (43:14):
Right.
Like he didn't with that.
Yeah, I found a penis.
Is this yours?
Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_11 (43:21):
Oh, so sorry here.
Do you think that he cut off andate the genitals because he lost
his in a crazy stairmasterincident?
Probably.

SPEAKER_06 (43:28):
You know, that's why there was only a ball imprint,
not a dick imprint on thestairmaster.
It's gonna get tangled andsomething.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_08 (43:35):
It's like your shoelace getting caught in an
escalator.
But your testicles gettingcaught in the screen.
It's not great.

SPEAKER_00 (43:41):
You ever seen those videos of that guy on Instagram
or maybe probably TikTok wholike hangs stuff from his nuts
and then swings?

SPEAKER_11 (43:49):
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (43:50):
Yes.
Meow.
Yes.

SPEAKER_11 (43:51):
No, I have a normal algorithm.

SPEAKER_00 (43:53):
Oh, I don't.

SPEAKER_11 (43:54):
Why?
How?
How do you still have a normalalgorithm?

SPEAKER_00 (43:57):
That's no fun.
That doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_11 (43:58):
It's mostly weird Master Chief like doing
kickflips and shit, going towork with it.

SPEAKER_00 (44:02):
Occasionally Instagram will reset mine to
like normie shit, and I'm like,oh no, I gotta do something
about this.
Feet, feet, feet, feet.
Where the goth mommy's at.

SPEAKER_04 (44:12):
Mine's just Vegetail smut.
There you go.
Um, anyway.
We all good with the that laststory.
That was a fucking crazy fuckingstory.
Uh this next one, I'm so sorryfor whoever has to follow this,
unless this is even crazier.
Uh this is from Jordan S orJordan's, if we're following
suit.
Hi! I live in Wisconsin.

(44:34):
More specifically Wait, we got aJ What was the other S?

SPEAKER_00 (44:39):
Jacobs.
Jacobs.
Oh, Jacobs.
This is Jordan's.
Alright.
We got a Jacobs and a Jordan.

SPEAKER_04 (44:44):
Correct.
Um more specifically, a veryrural area about two minutes
away from Lake Michigan.
Growing up in my town, therewere lots of stories.
I will try to keep this as shortas possible.
Wisconsin has a lot of urbanlegends, though.
Slenderman, Slenderman Stabbingshappened in Wisconsin, the

(45:05):
Hodag, Beast of Bray Road, BoyScout Lane, and literally so
many more.
Mike loves Boy Scout Lane.

SPEAKER_11 (45:13):
I wonder why.
I like roads.

unknown (45:17):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (45:18):
All of them pick up.

SPEAKER_04 (45:19):
Pigger written streets.
Lanes would be the road.
Love a ball for everybody.
I like them all.
Um but the one I grew up withwas I haven't been.
Never been.
The one I grew up with was the JRoad jogger.
This is fucking you guys didthis on purpose.
J Road is the most middle ofnowhere place you can get.

(45:41):
You almost never see anyone onit.
And even in the daytime, it'screepy.
The road is so thin that ifanother car were to be driving
in the opposite direction, you'dhave to be careful not to
collide with it.
Each side is so dense with treesthat the only things visible to
you are the sky and thepavement.
Continuing down J Road, astagnant green swamp surrounds

(46:01):
the road.
It honestly would be b wouldprobably be really pretty if
there weren't such a bad nameattached to it.
In high school, it almost becamea rite of passage to go with
your friends and tempt ghoststhat haunted the place.

(46:22):
One, a woman who has a cat whowas a cat hoarder.
Sorry, I had to double takethere.
Uh one, a woman who was a cathoarder lived on Jay.
Teens would go harass her sobrutally that one of them set a
hay bale on fire outside herhouse one night.
This led to the woman and all ofher cats burning down with the

(46:43):
house that night.
What the fuck?
Jeez.
People say that you'll see burntcats running along Jay Road.
Can you imagine?
There's no extra there's noelaboration here.

SPEAKER_00 (46:54):
Burnt as in like on fire cats or just sin.

SPEAKER_04 (46:57):
Like ghost ghost fire cats, you know?
Like they were on fire fiveminutes ago, and now they're
here.

SPEAKER_00 (47:02):
I don't know.
You ever seen that video of thatcat that sticks its tail in a in
a candle and it just like burnsand it's just like what the fuck
you.

SPEAKER_04 (47:14):
It's fine.
And two, the J Road jogger.
One night a woman was outjogging on J Road and was hit by
a drunk driver.
The crash sent her bodybarreling into the road.
In the version we were told, shegot up and reached the stop sign
that sits on the bridge.
The drunk driver didn't want herto tell anyone, so he reversed

(47:35):
and hit her again.
This time completely demolishingher and sent her into the swamp,
never to recover.
And now, if you are the bridge,roll your windows down and turn
off your car.
You'll hear her.

SPEAKER_09 (47:48):
She blows her.

SPEAKER_04 (47:50):
You'll hear the glo glock.
She calls for help.
And some people say that whenyou turn your car back on,
you'll see her in the rearviewmirror, mangled in your back
seat.
Well, one night when I was 16,me and four friends got the idea
to go try it out.
Only one of us had still getmangled.

(48:12):
Yeah, like who hears this andsays, I want to see this.

SPEAKER_06 (48:16):
It's Friday, you guys want to go get mangled?

SPEAKER_00 (48:19):
That's fair.
That's fair.

SPEAKER_06 (48:21):
Chat were mangled.

SPEAKER_00 (48:22):
I can see Doug and I getting drunk and doing this.
Chat is this real?

SPEAKER_04 (48:25):
Am I really mangled?
Chat, am I real?
Only one of us had our licenseand access to our parents' car.
So we went.
It was a giggle-fueled drivethere.
We made jokes about seeing cats,scooping one up, bringing it
home.
My friend, who was driving, saidthat he had done it before, and
it was stupid.
Nothing happened.
One of the friends in the back,uh in the backseat, joked about

(48:48):
how he would fuck up a ghost ifhe needed to.
I'd fuck a ghost.
I'd fuck a ghost.

SPEAKER_06 (48:54):
I'll give a shot.
Just Jack Baggins, bro.
He's like, I'll fuck you, ghost.
Well, what?

SPEAKER_04 (49:02):
I'd give it a shot.
Well, you know, every time youyawn, a dick a dick puts a ghost
in their mouth.
No.
A ghost.
A ghost puts a dick in yourmouth.
Jesus.
Um Jesus.
We obviously didn't uh expect tosee anything.
He's like, are you sure?

SPEAKER_08 (49:17):
No way.

SPEAKER_04 (49:20):
You know.
Horrible times.
I know what you're talkingabout.
Are we boring you, Mike?
The ghost came over him.
Um on him.
We obviously did not expect tosee anything.
Driving on J Road was about ascreepy as it always was.
Dark and foggy, pitch black,with your headlights off.

(49:41):
We rode down it, sad that wedidn't see any cats.
Fair.
We came up to the bridge.
God damn it.
We stopped the car.
Fuck where'd it go?
We stopped the car fifteen feetfrom the stop sign.
Put all the windows down, turnedthe car off, and waited.
It started off with laughingfits, followed by bouts of
silence.
But then my friend in the backswore she heard something in the

(50:02):
swamp.
No one believes her, of course,continuing to joke that it was a
cat.
We sat in silence again.
But this time we all heard it.
Something sploshing around thewater.
It didn't sound like a deer.
Not something that was complthat was walking through the
water, literally sploshing.
It was flailing around.
Me and the other girl,completely terrified, begged the

(50:24):
guys to leave immediately.
But of course, as teenage boysdo, they get out of the car.
That is something teenage boysdo is get out of cars.

SPEAKER_06 (50:34):
Um I thought you were gonna say that they don't
listen to women.

SPEAKER_04 (50:39):
Damn it, Doug.
Two things can be true.
You can have two true things.
Oh yeah, that's boys.
Phone flashlight equipped, theygo to investigate.
Her and I can hear them talking,but we're quiet, scared, and
just wanted to leave.
As the boys came back to thecar, we could hear something
else.
Rhythmic, but not very loud.
Almost like a drag, and then acrack.

(51:01):
Drag, crack, drag, crack.
Over and over.
It just kept getting louder.
Not faster, but louder.
Sounded like walking, but somefucked up limping jog.
We absolutely freaked out,screaming for them to get in the
car.
The sound would have beenscaried any time, but in the
absolute pitch dark, with onlyphone screens lighting up their

(51:24):
faces, I was ridiculouslyscared.
They rushed to get in the car,finally understanding that we
were b what we were bothfeeling.
When they tried to turn it on,the car wouldn't start.
We all went into full blownpanic mode.
Which probably probably was onlyabout ten seconds of trying to
start the car up, but it feltlike twenty minutes.

(51:44):
In my head, the sound wasgetting closer.
I felt like I could hear itright out the window.
When the car finally started andthe headlights turned on, I
swear to you, we saw bloodsplattered on the stop sign
ahead of us.
He sped away, and no one saidanything the rest of the drive
home.
We didn't see her, but we heardher.

(52:05):
We all did.
And we and we'll tell you tothis we did till this day.
We went back in the morning,thinking maybe that someone had
painted the stop sign to befunny, but no.
Blood was gone, but the fogwasn't.
To this day, I will avoiddriving down that road unless
absolutely necessary.
This is really the long I'm sosorry.
You don't have to read it.

(52:25):
But it's all true.
Most people around here have astory of J-Road.
I hope you at least find it alittle interesting.

SPEAKER_06 (52:31):
I cut this one for time, so don't worry.

SPEAKER_04 (52:36):
Thank you, editor.
Um, this this reminds me of thethere was a ghost story from
fuck.
One of the camps I went to waslike a kid, and it was uh in
some rural town, there was likea set of train tracks that if
you sat over the train tracks,oh yeah, the children neutral.
Yeah, yes.
Um, put it in neutral and justleave it there.

(52:59):
It would push your car off thetracks and you'd go around back
and you'd find little likelittle heads.
Yeah, you're supposed to putlike flour on your bumper and
you'll see a little hands.
Because a fucking school bus gothit by a train at that point.
So it's like the kids pushing,like being like, No! Yeah, this
is what this reminds me of.
It's fucking freaky.

SPEAKER_00 (53:18):
This is a solid one.
That's a solid one.
I like that.

SPEAKER_11 (53:21):
Uh Tales from the Crypt uh story that's very
similar to this of like a likehitchhiker that gets hit, and
the lady doesn't want to likecall a cop or anything because
she's jail.
Yeah, just keeps going and thehitchhiker just like haunts her
and eventually kills her.
It's pretty good.

SPEAKER_06 (53:36):
Yeah, I think they're bringing Tales from the
Crypt back, by the way.
Thank God.

SPEAKER_00 (53:40):
I guess this one's an eight out of ten.

SPEAKER_06 (53:41):
I'm going ten.
This is spooky stuff.
I'll go eight, I'll do eight.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (53:45):
I agree with eight.
Pretty solid.

SPEAKER_04 (53:47):
Pretty solid.
Damn.

SPEAKER_11 (53:48):
I see whose name is next.

SPEAKER_04 (53:49):
I know you do, and this is all you are in chat
right now.
You gotta give this first lineuh oh yeah, they're in chat.

SPEAKER_06 (53:56):
Oh hell yeah.
They're talking a whole bunch ofthings.

SPEAKER_04 (53:59):
You better be oh, they they're gonna start beating
off as soon as you start talkingthe mic.
All right.
At least I hope.

SPEAKER_11 (54:05):
That was a good one, though.
That's that's uh fucking we havea we have actually in my uh in a
where I live, I was about to saythe name.
We have one off of uh road,something similar.
Uh uh, I forget exactly what itwas, but two people were driving
on a motorcycle going to prom orsomething like that, and they
crashed and died, and on theside of the road, or the the

(54:25):
girl in her prom dress, shedidn't die.
She crawled to the side of theroad and wrote help in blood on
the side of the road and thendied.
The road if you still drive, youcould drive by to this day.
The asphalt uh if you drive byat night, the the rumor is you
could see help written on theroad and you see her spirit on
the side of the road.

SPEAKER_00 (54:44):
Like you haven't said where you live like a
million times.

SPEAKER_11 (54:47):
I know, but I'm still trying.
You could not look it up.
Anyway, I'm okay right now.
This next uh uh story.
Forgot the word for a second.
Forgot the word story.
Fuck.
This next story is from Torifrom Tejas.

(55:08):
One of the faves.
Um yeah.
Oh greeting, sex perverts andspooky bitches.
Um I'm um I'm reading, I'mreading, I'm reading.
We're talking.

SPEAKER_00 (55:20):
Tori won't forgive us.

SPEAKER_11 (55:22):
Greeting, sex perverts and spooky bitches.
Here's another weird one fromTexas.
In the 90s, there's an abandonedhouse off highway 90 in the
southwest Houston.
90s and 90s.
No, that's Sw.
Swa Houston.
Yeah.
We affectionately referred to itas the Satan House.

(55:42):
You had to park on the outskirtsof an abandoned Asian-themed
outdoor strip mall.
I read that theme of TeenageMutant.

SPEAKER_04 (55:50):
Abandoned Asian-themed outdoor abandoned
Asian-themed outdoor mall.

SPEAKER_11 (55:58):
Which was creepy on its own.
With the owl that lived therethat would dive bomb you if you
weren't expecting it.
Yeah, we were trespassing withzero fucks to give.
You would walk about a quartermile along some closed side
streets till you came to a gatein a chain-link fence that was
chained shut.
This fence was completely grownover with vines and gar garbage

(56:18):
plants.
So you really to really see whatlay on the other side.
We would squeeze our skinnyteenage asses through the gate
to come upon a path leading tothe Satan's.

(56:44):
We would squeeze our skinnyteenage asses through the gate
to come upon a path leading tothe Satan house.
On my first visit there, twoloose horses were grazing in the
yard.
There's a lot of innuendos inthere.
What?
There's a lot of innuendos inthis one.

SPEAKER_06 (57:01):
Those were some loose horses.
Tori knows a thing or two abouta loose horse, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 (57:13):
Did Tina from Bob's Burgers write this?

SPEAKER_11 (57:17):
On my first visit there, two loose horses were
grazing in the yard of the ofthe oblivious obviously
crumbling abandoned old home.
One horse is white, the otherblack.
The white horse let us approachit and pet it, which is kind of
surreal.
But the whole experience was.

(57:41):
Wait, what?
Hand dug.
Hand dug.
I shand dug.
Hand dug what?
Wait, I should back up.
So before seeking this placeout, we had been hearing crazy
stories about the place for mybuddy Stoner, older brother, and
friends for years.
They told us the place had beenan illegal gambling parlor back

(58:01):
in the day.
It was set up in the basementarea that the owner had dug out
himself.
Legend said it was now floodedout.
Because you can't have abasement in Houston due to our
proximity to sea level.
One story that caught myattention.
How did you know?
Pretty much coastal states.
You just can't.

(58:22):
One story that caught myattention was about these guys
going down there before itflooded.
Find a pentagram of goat legsand tallow cad candles around
it.
Hardcore.
With weird runes or symbolscarved into the wall.
Another mentioned a hold at thetop of the stairs, which led
into a system of weird tunnels.
An unfortunate dude trippingballs climbed into it and was

(58:44):
pers pursued by some kind ofcreature until he found his way
out.
Yeah, I think that was a screen.

SPEAKER_00 (58:50):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (58:52):
It was just a traffic cone that was wiggling
slightly.

SPEAKER_11 (58:57):
And there it was, right at the top of the stairs,
about a two foot across holeleading into the wall void.
Not sure how far someone couldcrawl into it, but I wasn't
about to find out.

SPEAKER_09 (59:06):
Don't fuck that void hole.

SPEAKER_11 (59:07):
Only if they're loops like the void troll.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 (59:12):
Plus, the dude who crawled into it had been
tripping.

SPEAKER_11 (59:16):
So he probably just pissed off a raccoon, right?
Either way.
I was going to check out thatbasement.
The stairs went down about tensteps and then curved around a
corner and out of sight.
We descended the stairs andturned the corner.
Shit got real real quick.
There it was.
A huge, domed chamber, nowindow.

(59:37):
Water lapped at the stairs,which stopped us from descending
the last three or four stairs.
The fog was coming off the blackwater.
I checked the J to make sure Iwasn't just high, and that he
was seeing this too.
He was.
As we stared hypnotically at westared hypnotically at the smoky

(59:59):
water.
Something off the far side ofthe basement audibly plunked
into the water started swimmingquickly towards us.
We out! Back up the stairs andinto the house proper.
Frogman could suck a dick downthere.
We start trouble to get into.
Yo! We split up and startedexploring the mostly empty rooms

(01:00:19):
with various old dusty antiquefurniture scattered here and
there.
I found a weird triangle-shapedroom that wasn't quite a closet
and not big enough to be a room.
Triangle-shaped?
He heard the man.
That makes no sense.
There were two doors to accessit on two different two of the
three triangle exterior walls,with a low bench running the
length of the third wall.
There are bolt locks on theoutside of the both doors.

(01:00:42):
Something compelled me to spraypaint.
This is where we keep thechildren above the bench.
Don't worry, fellas.
There's already all kinds ofgarbage painted across most of
the joint.
I was worried about paint.
It really makes it We made ourway back out We made our way out
back to the pool in the stables.
Sure as shit, just as the loresaid, the stables have been

(01:01:03):
converted to a men's and women'sbathrooms.
The pool looked about 15 feetdeep or so, with green black
water sucking on the c suckingon the couch and grocery carts
that now live in it.
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:14):
Ooh, that was close.
Sucking on the what now?

SPEAKER_11 (01:01:17):
Sucking on the couch.

SPEAKER_04 (01:01:18):
Sucking on the couch?

SPEAKER_11 (01:01:20):
I grabbed the pole that must have been part of the
old cleaning gear and startedpoking at the items, drowning at
the bottom.
Nothing swam out to get me, andin frustration, I angled the
long pole down and shoved it ashard as I could straight down.
It disappeared completely intothe gross water.
That pole was at least ten feetlong, so there's no way that was
possible.
But it happened.
We decided after that it wasmaybe time to go.

(01:01:43):
We were both overcome by a weirdanxiety and a really dark,
consuming feeling.
Time to go.
We booked it back up through thehouse, past the triangle room
and the stairs, and back ontothe sidewalk, booking it towards
the gate.
We weren't talking or smiling,just clapping cheeks.
Then something grabbed me by theback of my collar, the back of

(01:02:03):
the collar of my shirt, whichstopped me in terror.
Then it started pulling me backtowards the house.
I'm pretty sure I screamed likea girl and started flailing.
Jay turned around in terror andthen started laughing.
I looked behind me.
It was the white horse.
It had somehow bitten my shirtand was pulling me back, but I
managed to get away from itwithout ripping my shirt.

(01:02:24):
Still freaking out, a mindscreaming at me over and over.

SPEAKER_09 (01:02:27):
Death rides a pale whore.

SPEAKER_11 (01:02:38):
Over the following visits, the horses would be
replaced with other randomanimals, including the
occasional goat.
Death rides a pale goat.
Well, when my last visit to theSatan house found me with a
small group of friends, I toldthem about the place for months,
and they wanted to check it out.
I was kind of nervous takingthis crew of about six out there
since I knew they were too dumbto respect the place.
And I was right.

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:59):
Yeah, they would do things like spray paint on it.

SPEAKER_11 (01:03:04):
Disrespectful.
Fuck the loose horses orwhatever.
First thing I sought out was thetriangle room.
And my cryptic gold message wascompletely gone.
Not covered, just gone.
The vibe that evening was reallyheavy.
If doom were a feeling, that'sthe blanket feeling.
Leaving the triangle room, Icame into the main room across
the stairs, seeing all but oneof my friends were fucking out

(01:03:26):
round outside.
I thought that was importantthat's an important word.
You wanted it to be that waytoo.
I heard I heard you were like,fucking each other outside.
I walked in the room at the sametime as my buddy T, who walked
in the doorway across from me.
We looked at each other and sawa large, shadowy figure quickly

(01:03:48):
walked behind him.
At that exact same time, we bothvoiced the same sentence.
It's time to go.
The others were pissed that wewere storming away with no
explanation.
I was the first to the gate andturned to hold it open so T
could get out.
The group was still pitching andmoaning, but something near the
house caught my attention.
A small shadowed figure, maybethree feet high, ran from the

(01:04:10):
house to a nearby tree, pokingwhat I'm guessing was its head
from around the far side of thetree to look at me.
It felt like that.
Like it was it felt like that,like it was looking directly at
me with intent.
Then I heard the laughing.
A child's giggle.
But it was in my head.
Any editor?

(01:04:31):
Child's giggle, please.
Nobody else heard or saw thefigure.
I never went back.
And the place has been raisedand built over for decades at
this point.
But I've been curious for yearsif anything weird has happened
at whatever business is proppedup on the grave.
Satan house.

SPEAKER_04 (01:04:47):
This legit sounds like an entry from the goddamn
Magnus archives.
Like it look it it sounds like athing I've been listening to
though for the last month.
It's cool.
That one's great.
Oh wow.
You don't want this one?

SPEAKER_06 (01:04:59):
No, um, I got the last one.
Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:00):
Alright.
So we're we're doing this oneand then the last one.
Um what do we think of Tori's?
Uh it was really.

SPEAKER_11 (01:05:08):
Tori's stories are good.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:09):
Is that play still there?
Can we go?

SPEAKER_11 (01:05:11):
Well, it's he said no, he said something.

SPEAKER_06 (01:05:13):
Yeah, something got built on it.

SPEAKER_04 (01:05:14):
Tori has a way of writing things that like just.
Can we go to the thing that theybuild on it?

SPEAKER_11 (01:05:18):
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Tori dropping daddy?
Yeah.
Uh I'm pretty sure.
I'm gonna give it a seven and ahalf.
I'm gonna give it a nine out often.
Oh.
Just because it would be a tenout of ten, but Tori Tori's Tori
sprinkled in some comedy there,which I appreciate.
But I'm not looking for comedy.
I'm looking to get shit.
I'm looking for someone to shitmy pants.

(01:05:42):
You're right, ten out of ten.

SPEAKER_06 (01:05:43):
I'm gonna say I'm gonna give it an eight.
Uh, but I also really like thatlike out of a lot of these
stories, people have just likeadopted this weird, like uh our
like weird verbiage that we usefor things.
Oh, 100%.
Tori's like, I'm clapping cheeksout of there.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, I like I like that.
They they say it in words thatwe can understand.

SPEAKER_11 (01:06:01):
10 out of 10, Tori.
Yeah, I'll give it an eight.
Always a pleasure.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:04):
I'm gonna go nine for this one just because like
it again, I'm a sucker for astory, and if this was real or
not, I don't give a shit.
I like you you fucking put methere.
I felt like I was experiencingthe whole thing as as Mike was
telling it.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:16):
It was the easiest story to follow, maybe?
I don't know.
Anyway.
What are you thinking?
What judgmental thoughts are youthinking right now?

SPEAKER_06 (01:06:27):
I'll save it for later.
Oh, okay.
I'll get you real drunk and thenbe uh belittle you in the
corner.
Yeah.
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:33):
Oh, we're all gonna hate fuck each other somewhere
in this house.
Hell yeah.
All right, T-Rex, you're up.
This was written by an actualT-Rex.

SPEAKER_04 (01:06:46):
It was voice to text all right.
Uh he can't reach the keyboard.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:52):
He's just like just face rolling it.
So that uh that's why there'sall these extra letters smashed
in there.
Listen, I don't care if youbelieve me or not.
I don't care if you read this.
Wow, actually send this for you,I send it for me.
All right, we're off to a solidstart.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:07):
Oh, yeah.
Letting us know who's boss rightoff the bat.
You know what?
I like the boldness.
Dominating me.
Just you know what?
Fuck you, because I'm going to.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:15):
Yeah.
All right.
This isn't for me to come, thisis for you to come.
For over 20 years, I have notsaid anything about this.
It's about time.
Holy sh this is uh this is aholdout.
Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_11 (01:07:28):
This was go then.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:29):
I grew up in an old house in Springfield,
Massachusetts.
I don't know how old exactly,but old enough that it was all
old wood planking and crap likethat.
I think it's been restoredsince, but I've never gone back
to see it.
Even if the new owners gave mepers permission, I still
wouldn't.
I first started hearing the ratsthe summer I came home from my

(01:07:50):
one and only trip to summercamp.

SPEAKER_04 (01:07:52):
The rats.
The ratma put me in a room withrats.
Rama podcast is back.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:57):
The camp.
It was filthy.
We didn't have cabins, the tentshad holes.
I swear the counselors nevershowered, bugs in our sleeping
bags, it was disgusting.
I still remember the smell of BOon stinky old people and how the
counselors' clothes were allready.
I swore I'd never go to anothercamp again.
It started about a week after Icame home, a grinding noise,

(01:08:20):
right above my bed, but onlywhen I lie on my left side.
It sounded like somethingchewing through wood.
A slow a slow, steady gnawingthat would stop the moment I sat
up.
For two weeks I tried to ignoreit, but every night it woke me
up again and again.
I eventually told my parents,they said it was probably rats,
my dad set some traps in theattic and told me not to worry

(01:08:42):
about it.
Two weeks later, the gnawing wasstill there, every night.
Still, only when I slept on myleft side, I eventually decided
to check for myself.
Now you should know, I hate anytype of vermin, bugs, mice,
centipedes, anything that crawlsor scurries.
I live in a brand new apartmentnow, for that reason.
But this noise was driving meinsane.
So one night, when the noisestarted again, I pulled down the

(01:09:05):
attic ladder and went up with aflashlight.
The air was thick with dust, andtraps were all still set, no
rats or anything that wouldexplain the noise.
But in the middle of the atticfloor there was a pile of
clothes.
That was odd because there wereno boxes or anything.
The attic was empty, so I don'tknow where they came from.
I turned my flashlight on thepile, and they were all torn up,
shredded, and tattered in theway that I would expect a rat

(01:09:27):
would make a nest out of.
I didn't go any closer.
I just turned off theflashlight, climbed down, and
locked the attic hatch.
I told my dad the next morning,and he said he'd check again.
When he came back down later, hesaid it was clean.
Strangely though, he didn't seethe pile of clothes.
One trap had gone off, but norat.
I shrugged it off as maybethings as maybe seeing things

(01:09:49):
that weren't there.
After two weeks passed, samenoises, only this time they were
louder.
Still, always when I lie on myleft side.
I was going crazy.
I was losing sleep and livingoff of sometimes just a couple
of hours a night, so one night Isnapped.
I pulled down the ladder andwent back up again with a
flashlight.
The air felt heavier this time,wetter somehow.

(01:10:10):
My flashlight beam shook as thechilly night air sat in the
attic.
There wasn't proper insulationup there, so it was cold.
The pile of clothes was back, orhad never left.
I don't know.
I turned my flashlight on it,and that's when I spotted the
floor, just above where mybedroom was.
There was a divot in the wood,freshly scraped and gnawed, like
somebody had been clawingthrough it from above, but the

(01:10:32):
marks weren't small.
The boards were gouged deep andwide, way wider than what a rat
would need.
The chunks of gnawed woodlittered all around, then
trailed away from the divot,towards the east wall of the
attic.
That's when my light caught thecorner.
There was a man crouched there.
I know that sounds insane, butthat's what I saw.
His clothes were shredded, hisface gray and caked with dirt.

(01:10:53):
Wood splinters and blood clungto the corners of his mouth.
What's worse is that Irecognized him.
He'd been one of the counselorsat camp.
I went ballistic.
I'm not afraid to say Iscreamed, or tried to, and my
foot slipped, and theneverything went black.
When I woke up, I was in thehospital.
My jaw was wired shut.
They said I fell from the atticladder and broke it when I hit

(01:11:15):
the floor.
My parents told me they found methere unconscious.
My dad went up into the atticafter calling the ambulance to
see what I'd been doing.
He said the attic was spotless.
No rats, no clothes.
I'm guessing no divots or holessince he didn't mention them.
Nothing.
My mom asked if I'd been hearingnoises and I told and I told
them about in only one ear.
I nodded.

(01:11:36):
She said the doctors had to doCT scans and such on my head
when checking me forconcussions, and they found a
beetle burrowed into my rightear.

SPEAKER_04 (01:11:44):
Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 (01:11:45):
Chewing at my eardrum.
I'm convinced I got that beetlefrom that disgusting camp.
I never slept in a tent again.
I never went to summer campagain.
I never heard the noises againand never checked the attic.
I'm now pretty positive Ihallucinated the whole thing
with the man in the attic andsimply slipped on the attic
ladder.
The bug, however, was nohallucination, and I still get

(01:12:05):
nightmares thinking about whatmight have happened if it had
made it through my eardrum, andI still can't sleep on my left
side.
Eddie L.

SPEAKER_06 (01:12:13):
This is a survivor episode.
That's the next one.

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:15):
Oh.
I thought this was thesignature.
You should bold these things.

SPEAKER_06 (01:12:19):
I thought I did.

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:20):
Well, T Rex could be T-Rex could be Eddie L.
You think T-Rex is his real now?

SPEAKER_06 (01:12:25):
You don't know.
That's fucked up.
I know.
When I read that, I was like,fuck, that's like one of my
worst.
That's getting a Jillian out often.
Yeah, that's a 10 out of 10 forme.
That's that's rough.

SPEAKER_04 (01:12:36):
That's there's a fucking beetle.
It's like the scarabs from themummy.
Like oh the first time I watchedthe the 1999 classic, The Mummy,
featuring Brendan Fraser andRachel Weiss.
Those fucking scarabs scared theshit out of me.
So this is like my fuckingnightmare.

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:54):
This sits on two huge fears for me.
One, the bugs in the ear.
Fucking hate that shit.

SPEAKER_06 (01:12:58):
Have you ever gone on the mummy ride?
Yeah.
The scarab wall.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:03):
Two the other thing.
People living in my house.
That's a huge fear of mine.
Without you knowing.
Yeah, right.
Ever since I've heard thosestories about the colour.

SPEAKER_06 (01:13:10):
Well, that's called frogging.
What?
Really?
It's called frogging.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:14):
Frogging.
Well, now I'm afraid of frogstoo.
I just have this horrible fearthat somebody's just like living
in a compartment in my house,and I have no idea.

SPEAKER_04 (01:13:22):
If we want stories like that, we should have Kelly
come talk about it.
Because she knows several peoplethat are in her family that have
found people living in theirhouses, like in attics or crawl
spaces.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:33):
Okay, so hometown horrors next year is just Kelly.

SPEAKER_04 (01:13:35):
It's just Kelly talking about real experiences
that make us all terrified.

SPEAKER_06 (01:13:44):
Just anything that can crawl in my ear hole is not
a friend of mine.
Yeah, no.
I'm like fucking Survivor.

SPEAKER_04 (01:13:50):
Oh, yeah.
The fucking the fucking ladythat had the bug in her ear for
four days.

SPEAKER_06 (01:13:55):
She knew though.
And like that's so that's sofucked up though.
Because she was like, Yeah,there's a fucking bug in my ear,
and the guys are just like,We're gonna just film you.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:05):
We're not gonna help you out at all.
Give me some fucking just put alittle uh nope.
You didn't say medical team.
You didn't say the words.

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:12):
If you just like stick peroxide in there, yeah,
like leave.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:15):
Yeah, yeah.
Because it'll die.
It'll clean your ear.
Like it's either dead or gone.
Either way, you can get rid ofit.
Give me mug the talking pillow.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:26):
I want the heart, bro.
Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (01:14:31):
Yeah, that's the worst.
T-Rex, good job.
Thank you for telling that, andI'm glad you did it for you and
not for us.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:39):
Alright.
Our last story.
Last story from uh of a goodfriend of mine, Eddie.
And this is the figure at thefoot of my bed.

SPEAKER_04 (01:14:50):
Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_06 (01:14:51):
Alright.
It was a quiet night, one ofthose nights when the darkness
feels thick as if the world hasfallen into a deep, unawakable
sleep.
I was twelve, maybe thirteen,and I just drifted off to uh
sleep in my room.
The house was silent.
The only sounds the distant humof the neighborhood and the
occasional creak of thefloorboard setting beneath the
weight of the old house.
Uh, but something woke me.

(01:15:12):
It wasn't the loud bang of adoor, slamming, or howl of the
wind outside.
It was more subtle, uh like aninstinctual nudge in the back of
my mind.
I opened my eyes, disoriented,and saw nothing but the soft
thick darkness that had filledmy room.
I could still feel the warmth ofthe blankets, but a coldness
seemed to linger in the air anda chill that I couldn't explain.
As I lay there, my eyes slowlyadjusting, I began to wake uh

(01:15:33):
make out a shape.
It was faint at first, just asilhouette at the foot of my
bed.
I blinked, confused, thinking itwas just my imagination, but it
wasn't.
Slowly it started to take form.
A small figure, almostchildlike, began to materialize
right at the edge of my bed.
It was as if the shadowsthemselves were stretching and
contorting to reveal thepresence.
I froze, my breath caught caughtin my throat, as the figure

(01:15:55):
moved closer, peering over theedge of my bed, staring at me.
It was a child, or at leastlooked like one.
I thought it was my littlesister at first, but the longer
I stared, the more I realizedsomething was wrong.
There was no movement, no sound,not even the faintest ruffle, uh
rustle of a body shifting.
I called out her name.
Monica?
My voice trembling, but therewas no response.

unknown (01:16:16):
No!

SPEAKER_04 (01:16:18):
Sorry, we've been listening to the fucking Fast of
the Furious soundtrack today, sothat is true.
We have that That's perfect.

SPEAKER_06 (01:16:30):
I saw that and like you win the race.
The figure didn't flinch orreact, it just stared.
The terror crept up on me, myheartbeat hammering in my chest.
The room seemed to grow colder,heavier as the weight of the
darkness itself was pressing in.
I pulled the covers over myhead, praying softly to myself.

(01:16:52):
I tried to focus on thecomforting words, hoping that it
would pass, that whatever it waswould leave me alone.
Minutes felt like hours, andwhen I was finally summoned the
courage to peek out from underthe blankets, the figure was
gone.
The room was still empty, as ifnothing ever happened, but I
couldn't shake the feeling thatI wasn't alone.
My heart pounded in my chest asI stood up and moved quietly
through the dark house.
I tiptoed into my sister's room,dreading what I might find.

(01:17:14):
But there she was, fast asleep,curled in her bed.
Obviously, the presence that hadhaunted my room only moments
before.
Oblivious to the presence thathad haunted my room only moments
before.
To this day, I can't explain it,and there was really no logical
reason for what I saw, norational explanation.
I never experienced thatparticular phenomenon again
while I lived in this house, butI still remember the feeling of

(01:17:35):
being watched.
The coldness, the silent figureat the foot of my bed.
Every time I wake up in thedark, I wonder if it'll come
back.

SPEAKER_11 (01:17:41):
It didn't come back because he lost the race.
This one's for now.
This one's for after you wentthrough.
Monica! That's pretty good.
Danger of the manifold.

SPEAKER_07 (01:17:55):
I like I like this because manifold.

SPEAKER_04 (01:17:59):
This is that's like the beginning of a of a fucking
night terror sleep paralysisdemon type thing.
That's the like the theintroduction.
Like I feel like the hat mandoesn't like it.
Yeah.
I feel like that like the hatman or these like sleep
paralysis demons don't just likenight one, like fuck you up.
They like get closer and getcloser.

SPEAKER_06 (01:18:20):
Well, this is the thing too.
Like, I like this because I canrelate to shadow people since my
last house was fucking shadowpeople central for whatever
reason.
And that shit's so weird though,because like I don't know, like
whether you believe in like thatparanormal kind of side of
things or not, I I've seen ashadow person, so I believe in
it.
Like, you know, in your housetoo.

SPEAKER_11 (01:18:40):
I know I told you, I was like, Oh, it's in your
kitchen.

SPEAKER_06 (01:18:42):
You're like, Yeah, yeah, that's where they are.
Like, oh there was so there'sone in my kitchen, and I just
like to go.

SPEAKER_04 (01:18:48):
Oh.
Like from uh Hellhouse Origins.

SPEAKER_06 (01:18:51):
Kind of the fucking masked girl.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except it didn't really looklike that.
It looked like I think stickfigure.
I don't know how to describe it.
Artist?
No, but I love stick figure theartist.
Um it was literally because likeI'd see it in the kitchen and
I'd see it in uh like there wasthese stairs that led up to the
top floor, you know?
Oh yeah.
And I'd see it do the same thinglike around the half walls.
Yeah.

(01:19:11):
But it was like a stick figure,like just like a circle head
with like a very thin like stickfight.

SPEAKER_00 (01:19:18):
They tried to jump me while I was in the kitchen
getting water early one morning.
Yeah.
When I when I I woke up a realhungover and I was like trying
to make I was just pouring tapwater in the sink, and I turned
around and out of the corner ofmy eye, it it was just like
that.
It was like a long body and justlike a real circular head, and I
was just like fuck, and then hewas gone.

SPEAKER_06 (01:19:35):
I don't think it was malevolent or anything because
the only time that it evertouched me, and Lissa can vouch
for me, it pulled my shirt whileI was doing dishes one time, and
I like looked back thinking itwas Lissa, like that it was like
literally like a and I was justlike it was nothing, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 (01:19:51):
Like I literally thought it was you or somebody
else had gotten up in the houseand was like standing there.

SPEAKER_06 (01:19:57):
Yeah, I I don't know if that was before or after, so
we had the ring that we foundthat you have now.
Yeah, I don't know if it wasbecause of that or if the
artifact after my mom passed andI put her in my house, if it
like negated all that, becauseas soon as my mom's urn was in
the house, I'd never see youknow Lori does say that there's

(01:20:18):
shadow people in our house.

SPEAKER_11 (01:20:19):
Were you cooking when that when that thing pulled
like pulled your shit?

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:22):
I was doing dishes, doing dishes, never mind then.
Yeah, I was gonna say someonewas telling you not to put salt
in the soy sauce, but no, thatwas Mike.
Well, they saw that.

SPEAKER_06 (01:20:30):
Mike's like, I think it could use a little salt.
I had that's what I left.
I had to save it.
But no, I I I I I resonate withthis story and I like that.
And I appreciate my friend forwriting into us.

SPEAKER_04 (01:20:40):
Oh yeah.
That's what well that reminds meof my fucking parents' house.
Um I they bought that housefreshman year, like for me,
freshman year high school, and Ihave a vivid memory of just
being up.
It's like 2 a.m.
or something like that.
I'm sitting downstairs playingvideo games, I'm drunk.
Um I've been drinking.

(01:21:00):
Right.
I mean, look, that's how allthese stories start, I guess.
But I I I vividly fuckingremember this long ass like
appendage that I couldn't reallylike focus on.
And like it was like a shadowything.
It was it was darker than therest of the room, and it reached
out and it grabbed the door andit closed it, and like, but it

(01:21:21):
its fingers went through thefucking door, Jake.

SPEAKER_07 (01:21:23):
It is 2 a.m.
It's 4 a.m.

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:30):
But no, I've like I have a vivid memory of that, and
I if that's a shadow person,that's pretty much the only
experience I have.
But ever since then, every timeI've gone back to my parents'
house, I my bed's up, mybedroom's upstairs where like
the guest room where I stay atlike midnight, 1 a.m.
or something like that from thedownstairs, I'll hear the
basement door just fuckingclose.

(01:21:51):
I'm like, that's fucking weird.
You know what makes it becausemy parents are sleeping or
having sex with um they're notdoing that because they didn't
tell me about it.

SPEAKER_11 (01:21:59):
You know what?

SPEAKER_04 (01:21:59):
That's their MOOC weird.
That's a whole other thing.
That's a whole other thing.
So wait, hold on.

SPEAKER_11 (01:22:04):
Lori sees wait, okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:22:07):
Can we have a home time?
Yeah, no, Mike, keep talking.
What you're talking about ismuch more important.

SPEAKER_11 (01:22:11):
Lori says that she sees shadow people in the house
now, and I wonder if it'sbecause of the ring.
And Amelia one day, she she uhwoke up from sleeping.

SPEAKER_04 (01:22:18):
Like I said, that's the artifact.

SPEAKER_11 (01:22:20):
She woke up from sleeping one night, and uh she's
uh we she woke up and Lori'slike, Do you have a good good
sleep?
She's like, Yeah, I I talkedwith my friend.
He lives in the closet.
Oh no, she's like uh uh bro andthen she's like, What's his
name?
And she goes, Jake.
And J Death, yes.
We're just like so.
Now there's a man named Jakethat lives in her closet, and

(01:22:42):
that's not a name that like asmall child just knows.
I don't know any Jakes, I don'tmention the name Jake.
Don't like it at all.
Yeah.
So we're just like, what do wedo about this?
So she saged the house and she'slike, stay out of the house,
especially that room upstairs.
So I might have to give her thering.

SPEAKER_06 (01:23:01):
Hey, I mean, I I truly don't blame you.
I I mean the ring is doingsomething to the house.
It's corrupting the house.
I should have told you to bringit here today so I could have.
So I could I could send it backor put it back in Ryan's house
now because he lives there.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:14):
Ooh, we should rotate Mike recording spots and
then one day just put the ringsomewhere and hang it in your
rafters here.
See some paranormal shit.

SPEAKER_09 (01:23:23):
You're the ring bearer now.

SPEAKER_04 (01:23:25):
Again, brand new fucking house.
Like there's no fucking way thisplace can be haunted.

SPEAKER_06 (01:23:28):
That's true.
Unless it's yeah, I guess ifit's connected to the ring, it
just used to be a farm field.
Just for context, have we talkedabout the ring on the uh we have
a couple times, I'm pretty sure.
Well yeah, to catch people up,uh when I moved into my old
place, found a ring.
Um uh an Indian family lived inthe house before me, and they
lived there for a long time, andI think someone in their family
passed away.
I don't know if that matters ornot, but that would make sense.

(01:23:50):
Um, this ring, I swear to youall, is the scariest fucking
ring ever.
It has a literal, like decrepitman on the ring.
Do you have you have a picturesomewhere?
Well, yeah, we'll put it inDiscord if we find it, but I
swear this ring is haunted.
Guys, join the Discord.

SPEAKER_00 (01:24:08):
Asian Indian or Native American?

SPEAKER_06 (01:24:10):
Asian Indian.
Okay.
Yeah, not Native American.
Um I I know I would I would bepolitically correct when I said
that.
But um, good for you, man.
Good as I just immediately go.
Oh yeah, dude, I forgot howcreepy this goddamn ring is.
Put that in the chat because itis horrendous because it is
fucking terrible.
I forgot how fucking terrifying.

(01:24:31):
But I'm almost positive thatthis ring is somehow haunted.
I don't know how you would seethis and think otherwise.
It's a demon artifact.

SPEAKER_04 (01:24:40):
Um, yeah.
What if it like slowly siphonsyour youthful essence?
Is this what Mike looks like?

SPEAKER_06 (01:24:48):
Mike is the embodiment of an 89-year-old
man.
Damn.
It's not letting me like theaccess to my photo.
Oh, I took my unlimited edit.
Can you send it to me and I'lljust do it?

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:05):
Discord, as soon as we're done dealing with Mike,
Michael difficulties, uh youwill get the picture of the
weird ass fucking ring.

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:16):
Doobie ringing.
For sure.
Doobie ringing.
God damn, those were some thatis so tight on my head.
I am it looks good though.

SPEAKER_06 (01:25:25):
I have a ring the ring picture is in there.
Tell me this is not the mostfucking terrible thing ever.
It's like a I and I found thisin my home.
Smash.
Smasher.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:38):
It's fucking.

SPEAKER_00 (01:25:40):
If you imagine just a horror movie in like a creepy
person photo on a wall.
Like you're probably gettingclose.
This is not a horror movieprobably.

SPEAKER_06 (01:25:50):
It's in my house now.
Yeah, that lives in Mike'shouse.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:25:53):
It's on the oh yeah.
If you guys want to look for it,it's on the fucking shelf behind
us whenever I go over there.
Probably somewhere.
Oh, probably the camera sucks.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:02):
It looks like they posed someone's corpse.
A soldier.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:06):
I don't like that it's like waving.
Well, that's actually a reallygood thought.
It does look like a soldiermemorial ring.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:12):
They are they do appear to be wearing a helmet.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:15):
That's fair.
That does not discount the factthat is fucking horrifying.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:19):
That makes it even worse.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:21):
Yeah, that actually that that's for sure a dead
person.
Oh, so this person wassurrounded by horrendous acts of
just war and death anddestruction.
Yeah, probably not haunted.
Still spooky, still smash.
Okay.

SPEAKER_00 (01:26:33):
Anyway.
It could be the ghost of all thepeople they killed.

SPEAKER_06 (01:26:38):
So you mean the life essence of anything that died
got absorbed this ring?
Okay.

SPEAKER_04 (01:26:44):
Great.
That's in Mike's house.

SPEAKER_06 (01:26:46):
I'm glad we got rid of that.
He says that's the royal becauseit means you enlisted.
I mean, basically, it definitelylooks like Hunter Down.
Well, everybody.
It is Hunter S.

SPEAKER_11 (01:26:58):
I want to give a super special thank you for
joining us on this fine, fineHalloween day.
Because it's coming out onHalloween, right, editor?
After you edit in all thethings.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:10):
Yeah, I'll edit it Thursday.

SPEAKER_11 (01:27:11):
Okay.
Can you edit in all the thingsthat I told you to?

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:13):
That's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_11 (01:27:14):
Damn it.
Edit in a very disappointedtrumpet sound right here.
We have that somewhere.
It's on there.
It's somewhere there.

SPEAKER_06 (01:27:23):
You're close enough.
Just hit all of them.
Jason, we still have the ring.
It's just at Mike's house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, no.
We we have it.
Yeah.
It's still it's still.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:33):
If you want it, we'll send it to you.
We should.
But then we'd lose the ring.

SPEAKER_06 (01:27:37):
I was gonna say I don't want it to be fixed up.
I want it to stay decrepit.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:42):
We can put it in a box with a note that says if you
buy this ring, don't open it.
Let us know what happened.

SPEAKER_04 (01:27:47):
Yeah, don't don't uh don't dead open inside.
We'll just yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:27:51):
That's better than what I was gonna say, so I'm not
gonna we just talked over.
Sorry, dude.
We'll do that.

SPEAKER_11 (01:27:59):
Well, everybody, thank you again.
You can find us on everything,delootypod.
Uh show us to gmail delootypodat gmail.com.
Oh shit, send a picture or alink or something.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:10):
But yeah, somebody who's slapping Mothman's ass so
hard found the actual ring thatdug.

SPEAKER_00 (01:28:14):
Slapping Mothman's ass so hard has to stop being so
good at Google because everytime we say it's a mystery,
they're like, no, it's fuckingnot.
Here, look.
Well, we I found it.

SPEAKER_06 (01:28:23):
Slapping Mothman does the work that we we could
be doing, but is this a resume?

SPEAKER_00 (01:28:28):
Is this if we ever make it big, we'll put you in
our payroll and just give youthe topic for the week.

SPEAKER_04 (01:28:32):
Oh yeah.
You'll just tell us all thethings to say.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 (01:28:35):
Anyway, everybody.
God damn it.
I would like to go ahead andvent it antique.
Oh wow.
Look at that.

SPEAKER_06 (01:28:43):
Jesus Christ.
It's a different ring.
It is a different ring, but whatthe fuck?
A cybaba ring?
Who's Sai Baba?
I don't have a hundred days.

SPEAKER_11 (01:28:51):
I can make some money off of this.

SPEAKER_06 (01:28:52):
Don't you dare send that ring off.
Jesus Christ.
It's like Sai Baba.

SPEAKER_11 (01:28:59):
Google it real quick.

SPEAKER_06 (01:29:00):
Let's do that.
So it's not a helmet.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:01):
It's definitely some like just pending.

SPEAKER_11 (01:29:04):
Let's figure this out in a minute.
Alright, everybody.
You have a back to the street.

SPEAKER_00 (01:29:10):
If you have more erotic friend fiction about
loose horses, any of Jason.

SPEAKER_04 (01:29:19):
Stay paranoid about all the erotic horses in your
yard.
I guess.

SPEAKER_06 (01:29:24):
Doug.
Slap your peans and beanstogether, but make it a little
spooky.
Make it a little scary.
Make sure horses are watching.
And I'll say, go fuck thathorse.
You've been good.

SPEAKER_11 (01:29:33):
You've earned it.

SPEAKER_07 (01:29:35):
Treat yourself.
Bye, everybody.
Have a great day.

SPEAKER_06 (01:29:39):
Cheers, Doug.
Cheers.

SPEAKER_02 (01:29:53):
Don't look on your internet.

unknown (01:30:12):
Yeah.

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DLUTI 213 - Hometown Horrors 2025

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}DLUTI 213 - Hometown Horrors 2025